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1
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:06,011
[Kevin's muffled groaning]
2
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:14,311
[Kevin groaning]
3
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,767
[clicking]
4
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:27,071
[Kevin yelling]
5
00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:35,583
[Kevin groaning]
6
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,501
[screaming]
7
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,544
Back up!
8
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,174
Get your ass back!
9
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,670
I don't know who you think
you messing with,
10
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:47,802
but I'll tell you got--
11
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,418
Oh, shit.
12
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,554
He gonna fucking eat my ass.
13
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,546
You're gonna eat my ass
14
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,564
and set me on fire
or some shit, ain't you?
15
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,976
Who are you? Huh?
16
00:00:57,975 --> 00:01:00,765
Where am I? Tell me--tell me...
tell me where I'm at.
17
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,149
Oh, wait a minute.
18
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,186
Do you work...
do you work for Karl Stromberg?
19
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,777
I said do you work
for Karl Stromberg?
20
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,369
Okay.
21
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:23,997
Okay. Okay, we in it.
This is it.
22
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:27,421
We're doing it. Okay, Karl!
I like it. I like it.
23
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,511
Um, okay. Shit.
24
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,426
Okay. Let me see where are...
where are we in the script.
25
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,385
God, my adrenaline is
flowing so much. You got me.
26
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,756
[chuckles] I thought you was
really trying to eat my ass.
27
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,773
All right. Uh, okay.
Three, two, one.
28
00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:42,642
Okay. Rice, peas, carrots.
Let's go. [sniffs]
29
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,323
You know, I've been searching
the globe for you.
30
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,780
You're a hard man
to find Mr. Bartholomew.
31
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:01,333
I think you got a line.
32
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,369
You got a line.
33
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:07,593
Uh, you say your part,
then I'll react off of that
34
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:09,836
because what you say
sets me up to now...
35
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,758
unless you're not union. Are...
36
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,377
Is he union or no?
37
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:17,599
- Guys, can you not-- Okay.
- [shears chopping]
38
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,766
Oh, rewrite.
There must've been pink pages.
39
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,475
Okay, uh, let me get back in it.
40
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:26,686
[sniffs] What you gonna do
with those?
41
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:31,028
Chop off my finger? Hmm?
Cut off my leg, my foot?
42
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,736
[shears chopping]
43
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,606
Newsflash, I only need one foot
to kick your ass.
44
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,740
That is a trailer moment.
45
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,043
- Guys, I only--
- [static]
46
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,406
[male voice, over speaker]
Good evening.
47
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,043
Do not use
the shears on this man.
48
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:50,134
Is that... is that the producer?
Is that Karl? Karl!
49
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,628
[male voice, over speaker]
He must atone for his sins.
50
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:53,591
[shears chopping]
51
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,180
What is that,
atone for my... I don't know.
52
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,796
[male voice, over speaker]
He must feel the pain
53
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,513
he has made others feel.
54
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:05,234
Yeah, I'm lost, guys.
I don't know where we are.
55
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:08,857
Um, if we're gonna do a rewrite,
GR's gotta give me the pages.
56
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,766
I'll stay in it.
I'll stay in it. Um...
57
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,784
[machine revving]
58
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:16,151
Okay. All right. Okay.
59
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,704
Why don't we...
why don't we take it easy?
60
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,318
'Cause I know
why you're mad, huh?
61
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,084
You mad because I...
Stop right there.
62
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,236
Let's stop right there.
No, no, no.
63
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,164
Let's make that your mark.
Whoa. No. Stop right there.
64
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,876
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey!
65
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,165
[male voice, over speaker]
Count to ten.
66
00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:33,758
No. Fuck you! Wait.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, man! Hey!
67
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,165
Oh, no, no, no.
68
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,634
Don't cut my dick.
Don't cut my dick.
69
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,093
That's a... Okay.
Using it... Use... I'mma use it.
70
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:41,644
Stay in it. [grunting]
71
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:43,886
Yeah!
72
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,980
[grunting]
73
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,898
One, two...
74
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,609
Come on. Come on.
75
00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:00,874
[groaning]
76
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,245
[breathing heavily]
77
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,169
Dammit. No, not today.
78
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,882
[Kevin grunting]
79
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:20,342
Yeah! Did we get it? Huh?
80
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:23,564
[chuckling] Spin it.
We got it. Yeah.
81
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:28,230
[dramatic music]
82
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,397
Come and lay your ass, Montoya.
83
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,148
This looks incredible.
It's so good.
84
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,202
Shit.
85
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,572
It's Montoya's men.
86
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:50,753
[Kevin exhales]
87
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,129
[muffled scream]
88
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,458
Jordan?
The hell are you doing here?
89
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,092
[muffled speaking]
90
00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:01,928
Son of a bitch.
Did they hurt you?
91
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,467
Hmm? Did they hurt you?
92
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,510
Kevin, what the hell
is going on?
93
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:08,024
The uranium heist.
That's what's going on.
94
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,556
- The what?
- I already handled Bartholomew.
95
00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,151
But General Montoya,
96
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,895
he's not gonna
let us off this easy.
97
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,777
What the hell
are you talking about?
98
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:18,776
[Kevin] Shit.
99
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:19,987
I was walking my dog
100
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,357
and someone hit me
in the fucking neck
101
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,824
with a tranquilizer dart.
102
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,664
- Huh?
- And I ended up here.
103
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,409
What are you talking about?
104
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,251
You didn't talk
to Karl Stromberg?
105
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,456
Who? [pants]
106
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,745
Karl Stromberg. About the movie.
107
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,339
Right now, we're in it.
This is the movie.
108
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,705
It's a live action movie.
109
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:39,012
We're improving
all the action scenes.
110
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,876
No green screen,
no fucking cables.
111
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:43,184
It's real. Raw.
112
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,677
It's gonna take my acting career
113
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,508
and my action status
to the next level.
114
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,813
So this is all your fault?
115
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,392
Well, I mean, this my script.
It took me...
116
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:51,642
I don't know
how long to develop it
117
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,313
- but Karl did--
- What the hell is your problem?
118
00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:54,272
Stop. What are you--
119
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:55,901
- What is wrong with you?
- Shit. Ow!
120
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:58,568
- I didn't do anything.
- Shit. That's sharp.
121
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,487
How long were you
laying on that?
122
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,895
Damn it.
123
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,914
And why you got an attitude?
124
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:07,906
This is a simple outline.
It's a lay-up, okay?
125
00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:09,290
I'm a triple agent.
126
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,906
MI7,
I'm the highest of high, right?
127
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,754
Like you can't get higher
than where I am.
128
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,629
But you,
you're my love interest.
129
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:16,666
They took you hostage
130
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:17,918
'cause they knew
it's the only way to get to me.
131
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,010
So now I'm here
and I got to get you.
132
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,375
- You understand what I'm saying?
- You're classic,
133
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,681
and I'm pretty sure
that kidnaping is a felony.
134
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:27,006
Well, I'm pretty sure that
when you're an adult,
135
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,312
they don't call it kidnapping.
136
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:31,805
- So that's... that's pathetic.
- Fuck you, Kevin.
137
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,188
What do you mean, fuck me?
Why you mad at me?
138
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,646
You should be mad
at Karl Stromberg.
139
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:37,856
I do not know who that is.
140
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,396
[Kevin] Shh.
141
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,950
You don't want them to hear you.
142
00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:46,987
Who? Who will hear me?
143
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:50,080
There's no one here,
and do not say Karl Stromberg.
144
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,617
Are you saying Strum or Strong?
Is it Strongberg, Stromberg?
145
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,001
'Cause I don't know
what that... Okay.
146
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:57,247
Hey, hey,
there are cameras everywhere.
147
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,551
We're filming a movie.
148
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:04,045
Where? Where?
There are no cameras anywhere.
149
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:07,179
Will you look around?
There's cameras everywhere.
150
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,927
Okay, listen, listen.
151
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,139
All I need you to do
is just grasp what's going on.
152
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,230
This is a big opportunity
for both of us.
153
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,226
Okay, just get in character.
154
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:18,018
- [clears throat]
- Please?
155
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,526
They got this place locked down
tighter than Fort Knox.
156
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:28,199
Oh, God. You're right.
It's tight out.
157
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:31,158
Those motherfuckers knew
I will come rescue you,
158
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,449
a beautiful damsel
in distress like yourself.
159
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:39,174
Yeah. Thank you for rescuing me.
160
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,838
Just like any woman,
161
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:45,417
I wouldn't know what to do
if a man didn't show up
162
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,474
to save me and tell me to eat
163
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,927
so I don't starve
and breathe oxygen.
164
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,308
- So that I don't suffocate.
- Let's cut. Let's cut.
165
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:55,636
- [Jordan clears throat]
- Can we cut? Keyword with me.
166
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:59,015
- I'd rather not.
- Please?
167
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,065
- [Jordan sighs] Okay.
- Thank you.
168
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:05,235
All right, guys, wanna go again?
All right. Self action.
169
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,279
Do you have any idea what's
on the outside of that door?
170
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:12,081
It's dangerous men
on the other side of that door.
171
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:15,405
I'm talking mercenaries,
killers, ninjas,
172
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,252
failed karate school instructors,
173
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,667
people that wanna do
bad things to me
174
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,455
just because they can.
175
00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:23,589
There's a bounty
on my fucking head.
176
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,301
I'll tell you what, Esmeralda...
177
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,087
[exhales] I'll pay that bounty,
178
00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,557
and I will give them my head
179
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:35,966
if it meant saving your life
180
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,354
so that you could
finish med school
181
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,311
and open up that clinic that
you always wanted--
182
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,941
Ow, shit!
183
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,898
Open up that clinic
that you always wanted--
184
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,648
- Esmeralda, wait.
- [door opens, closes]
185
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,033
Esmeralda, hey!
186
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:51,371
[ominous music]
187
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:54,325
[Kevin]
Oh, you fucking piece of shit.
188
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,286
You leave her
out of here, you hear me?
189
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,906
She's got nothing
to do with this.
190
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,544
This is between me, you,
191
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:04,001
and the 78,000 kilos
of stolen uranium.
192
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,092
[glass shattering]
193
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,917
All right.
That's how you wanna have it.
194
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:08,971
Let's have at it.
195
00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:12,223
I'm so over this.
196
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,349
Kevin, next time
you have a terrible movie idea,
197
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:16,677
leave me out of it, yeah?
198
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,182
- [Jordan groaning]
- Oh, shit.
199
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,976
I'm sorry, but did this
central casting goon
200
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,732
just hit me in the face
with a real fucking axe?
201
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,744
Cut. No, no, no.
202
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,355
- We need to cut right now.
- No.
203
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,662
- I don't know what...
- Don't cut. Don't cut.
204
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,865
...production this is but I need
to speak to a producer--
205
00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:35,236
[man growling]
206
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,076
[Jordan grunts]
207
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,171
[breathing heavily]
Is that all you've got?
208
00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:48,711
[man grunts]
209
00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,674
Jordan, let me get in there now.
210
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,764
[man growling]
211
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,429
Slam his ass.
212
00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:01,103
Jordan, let my character
get some, tag me in.
213
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,559
[breathing heavily, groaning]
214
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,229
[glass shattering]
215
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,442
Yeah.
216
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,605
[Jordan groaning]
217
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,702
Hold it. Hold it.
218
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,536
[man choking]
219
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,868
Yeah.
220
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,713
[Jordan breathing heavily]
221
00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:28,248
Whoo! We got that. What a scene.
222
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,593
Good job.
223
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:30,798
Here.
224
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,257
I think I'm the one
that was supposed
225
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,717
to kick his ass, though.
226
00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:34,837
'Cause I'm the lead,
227
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,303
so I'm quite sure that
was supposed to be me.
228
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,473
- But we'll fix it in the post--
- [gunshots]
229
00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,466
[Kevin] Go, go, go, go!
230
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:46,941
[both breathing heavily]
231
00:10:46,939 --> 00:10:49,019
[Jordan] That guy
was trying to kill me.
232
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,864
Kevin, not acting. Not a movie.
233
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,029
- Literally trying to kill me!
- No.
234
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,358
It's cinema verité.
I know it's a little different,
235
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:56,574
- but that's what it is.
- Different?
236
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,703
A little fucking different,
Kevin?
237
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,330
Whoa. Are you okay?
238
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,747
Yeah, I know you're just trying
to get me to apologize.
239
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:02,865
No, no, no.
240
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,331
- Just give me a second. What?
- Kevin.
241
00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:08,592
You've been hit
with a real fucking bullet.
242
00:11:10,045 --> 00:11:11,125
That's not real blood.
243
00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,094
[Jordan] What-- [scoffs]
244
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:15,180
- Of course it's real blood!
- No. Taste it.
245
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,885
I'm not gonna
taste your blood, Kevin.
246
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,755
You can. You can.
It's pig's blood.
247
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,062
- [Jordan] No--
- It's not my blood.
248
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,385
[chuckles]
249
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,890
Does that feel fake?
250
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:26,021
- Ow! Ow!
- Shit. Shit. Shit.
251
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,729
- Shit.
- I gotta lay down.
252
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,189
I gotta lay down.
253
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:33,993
Kevin! Kevin!
254
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,200
No, no, no, no. Wait, look.
There's a photographer. Look.
255
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,617
He wants your picture. There.
256
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,494
God.
257
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,409
What the fuck?
258
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,246
[dramatic music]
259
00:11:45,296 --> 00:11:49,846
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