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1
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:04,812
Alright, come on.
Flip it over.
2
00:00:04,948 --> 00:00:06,480
My show isn't over yet!
3
00:00:07,851 --> 00:00:10,351
there.
4
00:00:10,420 --> 00:00:12,253
-Your turn.
-Oh, finally!
5
00:00:12,255 --> 00:00:14,923
Whoa, it's my turn!
I want to watch the weather!
6
00:00:14,925 --> 00:00:16,356
Then look out the window, pop!
7
00:00:16,426 --> 00:00:19,760
The long-range weather
forecast, clever clogs!
8
00:00:19,763 --> 00:00:21,028
Like you need it!
9
00:00:21,097 --> 00:00:23,097
You're 80!
10
00:00:23,099 --> 00:00:25,765
In our house, you had to book your tv slot
11
00:00:25,803 --> 00:00:27,667
Weeks in advance.
12
00:00:27,704 --> 00:00:30,271
Casablanca's playing
on the great money movie
13
00:00:30,274 --> 00:00:31,972
In two weeks' time.
14
00:00:31,975 --> 00:00:33,908
6 pm sharp.
15
00:00:33,944 --> 00:00:37,411
No talking, no telephone calls.
16
00:00:37,414 --> 00:00:41,149
Let's all do our part
to make this happen, hey?
17
00:00:41,151 --> 00:00:42,917
And now for
our long-range forecast.
18
00:00:42,985 --> 00:00:44,585
Tuesday, fog.
19
00:00:44,588 --> 00:00:46,253
Wednesday, fog.
20
00:00:46,256 --> 00:00:47,856
Thursday, foggy.
21
00:00:47,990 --> 00:00:49,856
Friday, foggy with
a chance of rain.
22
00:00:49,893 --> 00:00:52,159
This is not entertaining.
23
00:00:52,161 --> 00:00:53,594
Breaking news!
24
00:00:53,664 --> 00:00:57,064
Vocm's own mike critch has won
the edward r. Murrow award
25
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,600
For ethics in broadcasting!
26
00:00:59,603 --> 00:01:00,801
Way to go, dad!
27
00:01:00,838 --> 00:01:02,203
Mike, I'm so proud!
28
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:03,471
It's no big deal.
29
00:01:03,474 --> 00:01:04,673
Any cash with it?
30
00:01:04,807 --> 00:01:06,474
No, but they're having
a fancy award night
31
00:01:06,477 --> 00:01:07,975
With a steak dinner
and everything!
32
00:01:07,977 --> 00:01:09,811
A night out!
What'll I wear?
33
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,745
Oh, that's wonderful!
34
00:01:11,814 --> 00:01:13,081
Your award, I mean.
35
00:01:13,215 --> 00:01:15,549
Oh, gosh!
Oh, mike!
36
00:01:15,551 --> 00:01:17,617
I never missed an award show.
37
00:01:17,653 --> 00:01:20,820
The oscars, the tonys, the marks...
38
00:01:20,858 --> 00:01:23,156
Wow, best person!
39
00:01:23,192 --> 00:01:24,558
Thank you.
40
00:01:28,097 --> 00:01:30,230
I am humbled.
41
00:01:30,367 --> 00:01:34,435
First off, this doesn't mean I'm
better than anyone here tonight.
42
00:01:34,504 --> 00:01:38,772
It just says it, right here,
on the award.
43
00:01:40,377 --> 00:01:42,644
I want to thank
all the little people,
44
00:01:42,712 --> 00:01:44,912
The kindergartners.
45
00:01:44,981 --> 00:01:47,115
But mostly, fox.
46
00:01:48,985 --> 00:01:50,317
Thank you.
47
00:01:50,353 --> 00:01:53,320
Mark, you're right
in front of the television!
48
00:01:53,356 --> 00:01:54,722
Uh...
49
00:01:54,858 --> 00:01:57,591
What's wrong with you...?
50
00:01:57,628 --> 00:01:58,793
Sorry.
51
00:01:58,861 --> 00:02:00,394
Well,
great money movie's comin' on.
52
00:02:00,397 --> 00:02:01,528
Pipe down!
53
00:02:01,564 --> 00:02:03,798
Mary, hold my calls, would ya?
54
00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:13,740
I got the bus just when my father
55
00:02:13,810 --> 00:02:15,210
Was coming on the radio.
56
00:02:15,211 --> 00:02:16,745
Hey!
57
00:02:16,747 --> 00:02:20,181
and now,
the vocm news with mike critch.
58
00:02:20,216 --> 00:02:23,617
Aww...
Is that the baby's daddy?
59
00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:27,354
Vocm,
voice of the child's...
60
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,688
Man!
61
00:02:28,724 --> 00:02:29,824
What?
62
00:02:29,825 --> 00:02:31,058
this just in,
63
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,526
Crime spree at coleman's!
64
00:02:32,663 --> 00:02:34,027
Late last night,
early this morning,
65
00:02:34,063 --> 00:02:35,829
Police were called to
coleman's supermarket.
66
00:02:35,965 --> 00:02:38,667
A male suspect allegedly
absconded with steaks
67
00:02:38,668 --> 00:02:41,836
And cheddar, hiding them down
the front of his pants.
68
00:02:41,837 --> 00:02:43,503
The police gave chase,
apprehending the man
69
00:02:43,574 --> 00:02:48,442
As he urinated against a fence,
exposing his meats and cheeses.
70
00:02:48,444 --> 00:02:51,378
The suspect is scheduled for a
bail hearing in provincial court
71
00:02:51,414 --> 00:02:54,515
When we will learn
the name of the "beef bandit."
72
00:02:54,651 --> 00:02:59,719
Mike critch
for the award-winning vocm news.
73
00:02:59,756 --> 00:03:01,923
Mm, stunning!
74
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,724
Yes!
75
00:03:03,794 --> 00:03:05,926
How it's done!
76
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,663
The kids loved to make fun of dad.
77
00:03:09,699 --> 00:03:13,701
The only way to beat 'em was to join 'em.
78
00:03:13,836 --> 00:03:15,537
Ohhh!
79
00:03:15,671 --> 00:03:17,204
Oh, don't catch me!
80
00:03:17,274 --> 00:03:19,340
Oh, don't look at my
meats and cheeses, ohhh!
81
00:03:19,376 --> 00:03:22,276
-Ohhh!
-Sit down, dumbass!
82
00:03:22,278 --> 00:03:25,146
Whoa!
I was just making fun of my dad!
83
00:03:25,147 --> 00:03:28,316
You mean my dad.
84
00:03:28,384 --> 00:03:30,550
-Your dad?
-Shut up!
85
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:33,621
When everyone finds out,
my life is over.
86
00:03:33,623 --> 00:03:37,223
He put meat down his pants.
87
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,227
It's not that bad.
88
00:03:41,831 --> 00:03:44,098
Okay, it's bad.
89
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,633
But no one's gonna
know it's him.
90
00:03:45,635 --> 00:03:47,235
When he has his court date,
91
00:03:47,304 --> 00:03:49,170
Your dad is gonna
broadcast his name
92
00:03:49,239 --> 00:03:51,772
And the whole bus will know.
93
00:03:51,841 --> 00:03:53,441
I'll ask him not to.
94
00:03:53,477 --> 00:03:55,109
He won't rat out your dad.
95
00:03:55,145 --> 00:03:56,243
Trust me.
96
00:03:56,312 --> 00:03:59,913
He's an award-winning
man of ethics.
97
00:03:59,983 --> 00:04:02,250
I promise.
98
00:04:08,091 --> 00:04:11,391
Are you sure?
When's the announcement?
99
00:04:11,461 --> 00:04:14,594
Any word from the chief?
100
00:04:14,664 --> 00:04:17,331
Dick, would you...
101
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:20,468
I dunno, eat meat that
had been down a man's pants?
102
00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:23,338
-Depends on the type.
-Mm.
103
00:04:23,473 --> 00:04:25,406
-Ground?
-Frig no.
104
00:04:27,511 --> 00:04:28,877
Striploin?
105
00:04:28,879 --> 00:04:32,079
Friggin' right.
That's an expensive cut.
106
00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:37,317
What if it had been
down the back of his pants?
107
00:04:40,023 --> 00:04:41,288
I stand by my answer.
108
00:04:41,358 --> 00:04:42,656
bye, now.
109
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:43,591
Good man.
110
00:04:43,726 --> 00:04:45,259
More breaking news, boys!
111
00:04:45,261 --> 00:04:48,396
Police in newfoundland are
finally going to be issued guns!
112
00:04:48,398 --> 00:04:50,598
Because of buddy with
the cheese in his pants?
113
00:04:50,634 --> 00:04:52,701
Hey, this is
two big scoops in a day!
114
00:04:52,836 --> 00:04:55,536
Good work, dad!
115
00:04:55,672 --> 00:04:57,137
Enough.
116
00:04:59,375 --> 00:05:02,442
don't
more guns mean more danger?
117
00:05:02,512 --> 00:05:04,177
not at all.
118
00:05:04,213 --> 00:05:06,781
The guns will be kept
under lock and key.
119
00:05:09,218 --> 00:05:11,586
Geez, I... I had the keys
here a minute ago.
120
00:05:11,654 --> 00:05:13,853
Oh, he wouldn't know
his arse from his elbow!
121
00:05:13,889 --> 00:05:17,057
For cjqn news, I'm--
122
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,759
-What's this, then?
-Hm?
123
00:05:18,829 --> 00:05:20,228
-This?
-Oh, um...
124
00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:22,396
Yeah, did-- didn't I mention it?
125
00:05:22,399 --> 00:05:23,798
Yeah, I got cable.
126
00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:25,533
We can't afford cable!
127
00:05:25,601 --> 00:05:27,000
Oh, relax.
128
00:05:27,069 --> 00:05:28,067
I'm paying for it.
129
00:05:28,105 --> 00:05:30,737
-Oh, pssht.
-Oh, just pipe down.
130
00:05:30,740 --> 00:05:34,475
Now, this film
has partial nudity,
131
00:05:34,610 --> 00:05:36,411
And I want to see which part.
132
00:05:36,413 --> 00:05:39,547
You know, if you're throwin'
money around, we have bills.
133
00:05:39,582 --> 00:05:43,283
Up next on moviemax,
sylvester stallone as rambo
134
00:05:43,353 --> 00:05:44,819
In "first blood."
135
00:05:48,125 --> 00:05:49,923
Sylvester stallone.
136
00:05:49,959 --> 00:05:53,661
This time,
he's fighting for his life.
137
00:05:53,697 --> 00:05:56,029
First blood.
138
00:05:58,268 --> 00:06:01,100
Well, I suppose we don't need
to get rid of the cable
139
00:06:01,137 --> 00:06:03,504
Right this second, now, do we?
140
00:06:05,776 --> 00:06:08,041
I need to use the washroom.
141
00:06:08,077 --> 00:06:10,043
Teachers pee?
Gross.
142
00:06:10,112 --> 00:06:12,079
Continue with
your math assignments.
143
00:06:12,115 --> 00:06:16,082
Mark, if anyone makes any noise,
write their name on the board.
144
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,187
Of course she chose
145
00:06:19,255 --> 00:06:22,288
The son of the most ethical man in town!
146
00:06:26,062 --> 00:06:27,995
Hey!
Cut it out!
147
00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:29,596
I'll allow it.
148
00:06:29,665 --> 00:06:32,332
Critches ain't snitches.
149
00:06:34,904 --> 00:06:36,137
Hey!
150
00:06:36,139 --> 00:06:38,572
The cheese bandit strikes again!
151
00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:41,074
Quit it, ritche.
152
00:06:41,211 --> 00:06:44,545
The whole world's wondering,
where's the beef?
153
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,279
It's down my pants!
154
00:06:47,951 --> 00:06:49,951
My father had won an award for his ethics,
155
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:51,819
But now I faced an ethical dilemma.
156
00:06:51,822 --> 00:06:54,656
Did I protect fox, or rat out my best friend?
157
00:06:54,658 --> 00:06:55,723
I'm being serious.
158
00:06:55,858 --> 00:06:58,091
Settle down or I'll--
159
00:06:58,228 --> 00:06:59,293
You'll what?
160
00:06:59,428 --> 00:07:02,629
Critches aren't snitches, right?
161
00:07:04,434 --> 00:07:06,033
You wouldn't dare.
162
00:07:06,168 --> 00:07:07,935
It doesn't have to be this way.
163
00:07:08,071 --> 00:07:10,170
Just... Stop talking!
164
00:07:10,307 --> 00:07:11,738
Sit down, loser!
165
00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:13,240
Hey, she just talked!
166
00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:14,942
Write her name down!
167
00:07:14,978 --> 00:07:16,177
What the heck?
168
00:07:16,312 --> 00:07:17,812
Don't make me do this.
169
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,447
Come on, you love jokes!
Hey!
170
00:07:20,516 --> 00:07:23,350
Is that a ribeye in your pocket,
or are you just happy to see me?
171
00:07:23,353 --> 00:07:25,819
-Shut up!
-Fox talked!
172
00:07:25,822 --> 00:07:27,521
I bet it's 'cause she's a girl.
173
00:07:27,523 --> 00:07:29,790
Oh!
Okay.
174
00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:31,858
Not fair!
175
00:07:33,997 --> 00:07:35,362
Stop writing our names!
176
00:07:35,363 --> 00:07:36,863
It was like a fever dream.
177
00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:38,031
What are you doing, man?
178
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:39,334
Something came over me,
179
00:07:39,336 --> 00:07:41,002
And before I knew what I was doing...
180
00:07:41,071 --> 00:07:42,603
Well, that's a first.
181
00:07:42,738 --> 00:07:44,404
Mark the narc, is it?
182
00:07:44,540 --> 00:07:46,606
Uh, uh...
183
00:07:46,643 --> 00:07:49,209
Busted for busting.
184
00:07:51,113 --> 00:07:52,545
Hey, mike.
185
00:07:52,548 --> 00:07:54,814
What do you think
of this ad copy?
186
00:07:54,817 --> 00:07:56,283
"this is dick dunphy!
187
00:07:56,418 --> 00:07:58,819
"I'll be broadcasting
live this afternoon
188
00:07:58,889 --> 00:08:00,288
"from coleman's supermarket
189
00:08:00,357 --> 00:08:03,357
"where the deals
are practically criminal.
190
00:08:03,492 --> 00:08:05,492
"I'll be giving out
as many packs of
191
00:08:05,562 --> 00:08:08,795
"kraft singles and hot dogs
as you can fit in your pants.
192
00:08:08,932 --> 00:08:12,165
"make off like a bandit
at coleman's."
193
00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:14,901
Oh!
194
00:08:14,904 --> 00:08:16,437
This is why you're the master.
195
00:08:16,505 --> 00:08:17,904
Hm!
196
00:08:17,908 --> 00:08:20,908
Hey, dad, you should do
an update on the beef bandit.
197
00:08:20,911 --> 00:08:22,475
I mean, it's the hottest story
in town right now.
198
00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:25,312
Nothing new to report
until we get a name.
199
00:08:28,418 --> 00:08:30,651
Vocm newsroom.
Mike critch speaking.
200
00:08:30,786 --> 00:08:31,786
Mike, it's me.
201
00:08:31,855 --> 00:08:34,922
Oh, hello, officer butt.
202
00:08:34,924 --> 00:08:38,091
Wondering if you heard
anything about a lost gun?
203
00:08:39,863 --> 00:08:41,261
you lost your gun?
204
00:08:41,264 --> 00:08:43,263
No, no!
205
00:08:43,299 --> 00:08:46,399
Why, did anyone
say they found one?
206
00:08:46,436 --> 00:08:48,735
You know I have
a duty to report this.
207
00:08:48,738 --> 00:08:50,538
Not if you want
any more hot tips,
208
00:08:50,539 --> 00:08:53,607
Like the one I gave you about
the steak and cheese bandit.
209
00:08:53,743 --> 00:08:56,076
I'd lose me job, mike.
210
00:09:00,616 --> 00:09:01,948
Was that a tip?
211
00:09:01,985 --> 00:09:04,152
You get a name?
212
00:09:04,287 --> 00:09:05,352
No.
213
00:09:05,488 --> 00:09:08,087
Ah, it was nothin'.
214
00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:17,298
Twenty...
215
00:09:22,972 --> 00:09:24,838
Hm...
216
00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:28,009
Ooh!
This thing's some hot!
217
00:09:28,144 --> 00:09:29,677
We should call cable atlantic.
218
00:09:29,678 --> 00:09:31,111
no!
219
00:09:31,114 --> 00:09:33,413
No, no.
We won't be doing that.
220
00:09:33,482 --> 00:09:36,918
You see, the cable company
doesn't technically know
221
00:09:37,052 --> 00:09:38,318
We've got cable.
222
00:09:38,321 --> 00:09:40,254
No, it's a descrambler.
223
00:09:40,322 --> 00:09:43,256
You bloody shagger!
This is illegal!
224
00:09:43,326 --> 00:09:45,959
Mike is liable to
just turn himself in!
225
00:09:45,995 --> 00:09:47,094
Fine.
226
00:09:47,163 --> 00:09:49,062
Say goodbye to rambo ii, then.
227
00:09:49,198 --> 00:09:52,200
No...
228
00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:57,572
let's keep it
between ourselves for now.
229
00:09:57,706 --> 00:09:59,539
The beaver!
230
00:09:59,542 --> 00:10:01,875
Oh, how interesting.
231
00:10:01,878 --> 00:10:04,077
Dad, can I talk to you
about the beef bandit?
232
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,613
I don't know who he is.
233
00:10:05,615 --> 00:10:07,081
You gotta wait till tomorrow
like everyone else.
234
00:10:07,216 --> 00:10:10,017
I already know who it is, dad.
235
00:10:10,019 --> 00:10:11,785
The beef bandit is fox's dad.
236
00:10:11,855 --> 00:10:13,553
Fox's father is the thief?
237
00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:15,956
Mark the narc strikes again!
238
00:10:16,091 --> 00:10:17,256
You can't say anything!
239
00:10:17,293 --> 00:10:19,025
It'll ruin fox's life!
240
00:10:19,028 --> 00:10:21,229
And she will end mine!
241
00:10:21,230 --> 00:10:23,730
It's gonna come out
whether I report it or not.
242
00:10:23,799 --> 00:10:26,299
But you're the one who
the kids listen to on the bus.
243
00:10:26,436 --> 00:10:28,302
I promised her you wouldn't.
244
00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:29,470
Please!
245
00:10:29,471 --> 00:10:31,504
For me.
246
00:10:31,541 --> 00:10:33,373
Look, it's not personal.
247
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:35,809
Not personal?
I'm your son!
248
00:10:35,945 --> 00:10:37,445
If I make an exception
for family,
249
00:10:37,514 --> 00:10:38,946
Then I'm no better than he is!
250
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:39,980
Right, mary?
251
00:10:40,115 --> 00:10:41,515
Couldn't agree more!
252
00:10:41,518 --> 00:10:44,851
Spot on, son!
253
00:10:44,854 --> 00:10:46,653
We gotta get rid of
that descrambler.
254
00:10:46,788 --> 00:10:49,590
Just as soon as rambo
comes out of the jungle.
255
00:10:49,591 --> 00:10:51,825
Yes!
256
00:10:54,931 --> 00:10:56,596
Mm.
257
00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:01,067
Oh.
Hello, fox.
258
00:11:01,071 --> 00:11:02,803
I didn't realize the time.
259
00:11:02,806 --> 00:11:04,871
We were just finishing up
some homework.
260
00:11:04,874 --> 00:11:08,076
Sorry, I didn't know
you were about to eat.
261
00:11:08,211 --> 00:11:09,476
But I did.
262
00:11:10,813 --> 00:11:12,346
Dad could say no to me,but could he say no to the face
263
00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:15,282
Of the poor girl he was about to send to the orphanage--
264
00:11:15,317 --> 00:11:17,250
Or, at least, her mom's house?
265
00:11:17,253 --> 00:11:20,087
Go on.
You sit down, hm?
266
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,889
Uh, uh--
yeah, no, uh, that's my seat.
267
00:11:22,892 --> 00:11:25,993
But the seat next to
dad's open, though.
268
00:11:30,432 --> 00:11:33,033
There you go, dear.
269
00:11:34,037 --> 00:11:35,702
Ah.
270
00:11:35,705 --> 00:11:39,606
There's nothing like
a meal with your family.
271
00:11:39,676 --> 00:11:42,943
Uh, I hear you're
getting some big award?
272
00:11:42,946 --> 00:11:44,644
Oh, it's nothing.
273
00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:48,349
Did you know he broke
the beef bandit story, too, huh?
274
00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:50,317
It's quite a story!
275
00:11:50,452 --> 00:11:54,120
Apparently this fella sticks
the goods down his trousers.
276
00:11:54,190 --> 00:11:55,655
And then...
277
00:11:55,725 --> 00:11:57,191
Then he's gotta pee!
278
00:11:57,226 --> 00:11:59,326
Ha, imagine the pressure!
279
00:12:00,663 --> 00:12:02,864
Imagine? I was living it!
280
00:12:02,865 --> 00:12:05,566
People putting pork
down their pants...
281
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:06,533
Perverts!
282
00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:08,068
But doesn't the bible say
283
00:12:08,071 --> 00:12:10,203
You can steal to
feed your family?
284
00:12:10,273 --> 00:12:11,538
Adverbs 6:30?
285
00:12:11,541 --> 00:12:13,206
How about
"thou shalt not steal"?
286
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,875
You familiar with that one?
287
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:18,011
No offence, fox.
288
00:12:18,147 --> 00:12:20,648
Oh my god, mark!
289
00:12:20,716 --> 00:12:22,883
Wha--
290
00:12:22,918 --> 00:12:25,552
Whoa, she's making a getaway!
291
00:12:25,554 --> 00:12:28,288
Check her pants for cheddar
on the way out!
292
00:12:28,323 --> 00:12:30,224
Pop!
Fox...
293
00:12:30,225 --> 00:12:31,292
Please.
294
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:32,558
I was just trying to help!
295
00:12:32,595 --> 00:12:34,360
I knew I shouldn't
have trusted you!
296
00:12:34,397 --> 00:12:35,895
He's gonna tell everyone!
297
00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:38,698
He says he has no choice.
298
00:12:38,835 --> 00:12:40,567
I expect my dad
to let me down.
299
00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:42,769
But you...?
300
00:12:42,806 --> 00:12:44,370
You're just like everyone else.
301
00:12:44,505 --> 00:12:47,307
No!
No, wait...
302
00:12:58,955 --> 00:13:01,322
What the frig you want?
303
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,756
This may seem strange, but...
304
00:13:03,793 --> 00:13:05,793
I want to know why you did it.
305
00:13:05,794 --> 00:13:09,263
What difference does it make?
306
00:13:09,264 --> 00:13:10,397
Was it to eat?
307
00:13:10,432 --> 00:13:12,399
Look, I'm not an animal.
308
00:13:12,534 --> 00:13:15,269
I don't eat nudding
that touches my privates.
309
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:17,804
I shoplifts meats and cheese
310
00:13:17,874 --> 00:13:20,606
And sells 'em
to the pizza joint.
311
00:13:20,643 --> 00:13:21,676
But...
312
00:13:21,811 --> 00:13:23,677
Why?
313
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:28,883
You ever worry about how you're
gonna feed your kids, mike?
314
00:13:28,884 --> 00:13:31,152
Yeah, some newsman you are.
315
00:13:31,153 --> 00:13:34,153
You don't know nudding
about the real world.
316
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,357
Anything you want to say?
317
00:13:38,394 --> 00:13:41,161
Nothing that's fit
to put on the radio.
318
00:13:43,232 --> 00:13:46,967
Look, I'm not a bad guy, mike.
I just...
319
00:13:47,102 --> 00:13:49,769
Never had a chance.
320
00:13:53,009 --> 00:13:55,174
You let me know if you
need any meats and cheeses
321
00:13:55,211 --> 00:13:56,711
When I get outta here.
322
00:13:56,712 --> 00:13:58,111
I knows a guy!
323
00:14:04,187 --> 00:14:07,654
I saw your advertisement
on the television,
324
00:14:07,657 --> 00:14:10,190
And I would like
to enter your contest.
325
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:12,259
Oh, yes,
I am a cable subscriber!
326
00:14:12,327 --> 00:14:13,259
Wha--
327
00:14:13,328 --> 00:14:16,263
That's right,
303 kenmount road.
328
00:14:16,265 --> 00:14:18,399
Shh!
It's a trap!
329
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,134
It's a trap!
330
00:14:20,135 --> 00:14:23,070
For frig sake!
I'm trying to win us a new tv!
331
00:14:23,072 --> 00:14:25,272
The cable company said they're
giving one away to anyone
332
00:14:25,274 --> 00:14:26,539
Who has the movie channel!
333
00:14:26,576 --> 00:14:31,077
It's a trap to catch people
with descramblers!
334
00:14:31,212 --> 00:14:35,282
You have got us
headed to the big house!
335
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:36,884
Think they've got cable?
336
00:14:36,952 --> 00:14:38,286
Oh!
337
00:14:47,963 --> 00:14:49,963
You're here late.
338
00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:52,099
Oh...
Yeah, I'm just, uh,
339
00:14:52,234 --> 00:14:54,567
Working on my speech
for the awards banquet.
340
00:14:54,702 --> 00:14:56,703
I'm having a bit
of trouble with it.
341
00:14:56,706 --> 00:14:57,870
What?
342
00:14:57,907 --> 00:15:00,173
The award's for ethics,
isn't it?
343
00:15:00,243 --> 00:15:02,442
That's your whole shtick!
344
00:15:02,577 --> 00:15:05,645
I mean, come on, just say what
you always told us growing up.
345
00:15:05,648 --> 00:15:07,981
"there's the right way
and the wrong way."
346
00:15:07,984 --> 00:15:10,317
"it's either a truth or a lie."
347
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,721
"it's good guys
versus bad guys!"
348
00:15:13,722 --> 00:15:18,426
You know, all that crap.
349
00:15:18,427 --> 00:15:19,926
Hey, come on.
350
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:22,528
You got this.
351
00:15:42,751 --> 00:15:44,418
Dad won a major prize,
352
00:15:44,419 --> 00:15:47,287
But to him, the greatest prize of all was the free meal.
353
00:15:47,356 --> 00:15:50,289
Uh, just to be sure, there's no
charge for this at all, right?
354
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,626
Yes, sir, no charge.
Although tips are appreciated.
355
00:15:53,629 --> 00:15:55,763
No, thank you.
356
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:58,965
But food reminded me of someone.
357
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,267
Something wrong with your steak?
358
00:16:00,403 --> 00:16:01,701
What if it's stolen?
359
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,971
I wouldn't want to be
an accomplice to a meat crime.
360
00:16:04,039 --> 00:16:05,873
-You name names.
-Enough!
361
00:16:05,942 --> 00:16:07,240
This is a special night.
362
00:16:07,309 --> 00:16:08,975
-You gonna finish that?
-What?
363
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:11,311
No, I think the boy's
got a good point.
364
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,647
I mean, how do I know
this steak hasn't been
365
00:16:13,782 --> 00:16:15,783
Down somebody's trousers?
366
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,717
Freshly grated parmesan?
367
00:16:17,787 --> 00:16:19,586
Yes, please.
368
00:16:19,621 --> 00:16:20,788
Hm?
369
00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:23,190
Oh lord, the pigs!
370
00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:26,125
We walked straight
into the lion's den!
371
00:16:26,162 --> 00:16:28,528
Why did you let me
make that call?
372
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:31,798
Did you hear that the kirklands,
they got nabbed for that ad?
373
00:16:31,801 --> 00:16:33,299
-So--
-are you gonna eat that?
374
00:16:33,302 --> 00:16:34,467
-He took my steak!
-What?
375
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:36,403
The steak.
You gonna finish the--
376
00:16:36,405 --> 00:16:40,539
Oh, no, no.
I've lost my appetite.
377
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:47,013
No matter howembarrassed fox was of her dad,
378
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:51,518
I still couldn't help being proud of mine.
379
00:16:57,292 --> 00:16:59,726
Still mad at me?
380
00:16:59,729 --> 00:17:01,761
No.
I understand.
381
00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:03,831
It's not personal.
382
00:17:03,966 --> 00:17:05,865
I mean, you wouldn't be
winning an award for ethics
383
00:17:05,934 --> 00:17:08,301
If you took a dive for
your own son, now, would you?
384
00:17:08,436 --> 00:17:09,804
Attention, folks!
385
00:17:09,939 --> 00:17:14,474
And the edward r. Murrow award
for ethics in broadcasting
386
00:17:14,544 --> 00:17:18,979
Goes to a man whom
we in the force trust.
387
00:17:19,048 --> 00:17:20,513
Ladies and gentleman,
388
00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:22,715
Vocm's mike critch!
389
00:17:25,788 --> 00:17:27,320
Thank you.
390
00:17:33,128 --> 00:17:34,595
Uh, thank you.
391
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:38,999
I'm particularly honoured
to accept this award for ethics,
392
00:17:39,035 --> 00:17:41,401
Because, as I always
tell my boys,
393
00:17:41,471 --> 00:17:44,403
Doing the right thing...
394
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,947
...Isn't always easy.
395
00:17:53,082 --> 00:17:55,682
Life isn't black and white.
396
00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:57,785
It's mostly grey.
397
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:02,556
And the greyer I get,
the more I can see that.
398
00:18:02,557 --> 00:18:06,227
There's no good guys
and bad guys.
399
00:18:06,229 --> 00:18:10,364
Just people trying
their best to get by.
400
00:18:12,234 --> 00:18:15,501
Sometimes when you set out
to do the "right" thing,
401
00:18:15,505 --> 00:18:19,006
You end up doing
more harm than good.
402
00:18:19,008 --> 00:18:24,178
So, try and err
on the side of kindness.
403
00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:28,048
That's something
I learned from my son.
404
00:18:28,084 --> 00:18:32,987
And that's who I'd like to thank
most tonight, is my family.
405
00:18:33,122 --> 00:18:34,922
Thank you for showing me
406
00:18:34,923 --> 00:18:37,324
That it's never too late
to do the right thing.
407
00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:38,526
Well, jesus, he knows.
408
00:18:38,661 --> 00:18:39,960
-What?
-Yeah.
409
00:18:39,961 --> 00:18:41,996
Thank you, and goodnight.
410
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,665
Alright, let's have this out.
411
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,933
It's gone.
412
00:18:47,068 --> 00:18:50,003
Nobody need know.
413
00:18:50,138 --> 00:18:52,172
How did you find out?
414
00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:54,875
Everybody knows about them.
415
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:56,410
About the guns?
416
00:18:56,545 --> 00:18:57,810
Guns?
417
00:18:57,846 --> 00:19:00,213
I'm talking about
my descrambler.
418
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,816
Guns, well,
what are you talking about?
419
00:19:02,817 --> 00:19:05,419
Let's pretend this
conversation never happened.
420
00:19:05,554 --> 00:19:06,553
Oh...
421
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,888
Uh, what conversation?
422
00:19:08,958 --> 00:19:11,156
Don't touch my dessert.
423
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:13,626
oh...
424
00:19:13,663 --> 00:19:15,695
Mm!
425
00:19:15,698 --> 00:19:17,631
Sometimes you just have to depend
426
00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:22,635
On your heart to tell you what's right.
427
00:19:22,771 --> 00:19:24,171
Bologna on white with mayo?
428
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,505
Feeling exotic?
429
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:26,807
Give that to me, narc.
430
00:19:26,942 --> 00:19:28,776
We all know we should strive
431
00:19:28,911 --> 00:19:33,213
To do the right thing...
432
00:19:33,348 --> 00:19:35,249
Admit when you're wrong...
433
00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:38,218
Oh geez, not again!
434
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,789
Don't steal...
435
00:19:42,924 --> 00:19:44,724
And always tell the truth.
436
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:50,529
Thank you.
437
00:19:50,599 --> 00:19:52,398
But life isn't black and white.
438
00:19:52,534 --> 00:19:54,934
Sometimes, in those shades of grey,
439
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:59,873
We end up doing the wrong thing for the right reasons.
440
00:20:01,711 --> 00:20:06,880
For family...
441
00:20:06,949 --> 00:20:08,481
Breaking news!
442
00:20:08,616 --> 00:20:11,351
A member of the constabulary has
reported his newly acquired gun
443
00:20:11,386 --> 00:20:12,885
Has gone missing.
444
00:20:12,887 --> 00:20:15,154
sources say
this is not the first time
445
00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:16,757
The officer's weapon
has been misplaced.
446
00:20:16,759 --> 00:20:20,426
Also, the beef bandit
has been arraigned.
447
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:21,894
And now, the weather.
448
00:20:21,963 --> 00:20:23,762
Looks like a good day out there!
449
00:20:23,798 --> 00:20:25,565
Sunny with a high of 5 degrees.
450
00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:27,901
Stop, or I'll say "stop" again!
451
00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:30,703
My finger is loaded!
452
00:20:30,740 --> 00:20:32,640
You're a total dork,
you know that, right?
453
00:20:32,775 --> 00:20:34,307
Mm-hm.
454
00:20:34,309 --> 00:20:36,777
And the best reason of all...
455
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:38,412
For love.
456
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,746
It's a beaut, dad.
457
00:20:39,815 --> 00:20:40,713
You deserve it.
458
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:42,715
Jesus murphy, pipe down!
459
00:20:42,718 --> 00:20:45,286
We can hardly hear the tv!
460
00:20:45,421 --> 00:20:47,988
crime
stoppers is seeking assistance
461
00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:49,923
For the following crime:
462
00:20:49,959 --> 00:20:53,393
A rifle is missing
from a vehicle.
463
00:20:53,429 --> 00:20:55,695
No fault of the vehicle's owner.
464
00:20:55,765 --> 00:21:00,701
We assume a roving band of
gun thieves has run amok,
465
00:21:00,769 --> 00:21:03,537
Absconding with
weapons hither--
466
00:21:03,672 --> 00:21:05,872
- Frig's sakes!
- Oh, it's dad's award!
467
00:21:05,941 --> 00:21:07,140
The metal's friggin' up
the reception!
468
00:21:07,175 --> 00:21:08,375
Oh, get it off!
469
00:21:08,443 --> 00:21:10,009
And where do
you suggest I put it?
470
00:21:10,011 --> 00:21:11,211
Why don't you put it up your--
471
00:21:12,513 --> 00:21:14,080
They can't stay
in the same room anymore!
472
00:21:14,150 --> 00:21:16,316
Just let him say it!
Let him say it!
473
00:21:16,366 --> 00:21:20,916
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