All language subtitles for Station.19.S06E11.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Well,
what's he saying?

I can't hear a thing, but he
looks like the naughty kid

in the
principal's office.

When you were in there,
did you tell him about

the missing kerosene canisters
at the simulation?

Well,
I told him what I saw.

All of it.

Cooper died because
of Beckett's negligence.

We all know it, but you're
all afraid to say so.

I mean his-- his questions
seemed kind of general to me.

You know, like,
"Where were you when?

Who was with you at the time?"

You know, I bet--

I bet Beckett gets off
with just a slap on the wrist.

No, this isn't
a slap on the wrist.

Not if there's
a training captain here.

So if we get a call, what?

We're just supposed to
blindly follow a captain

who's under
investigation?

Morning, 19. Let's gather up.

No, no, no.
You don't have to line up.

Let's bring it in.

It's routine for
a training captain

to investigate after a tragedy
like what happened to Cooper,

to figure out what happened,

make sure that
it doesn't happen again.

So it's extremely important
that you are all

completely honest
and fully transparent with him.

We clear?

- Yes, Chief.
- Good.

Have a great shift.

Thank you.

Hey, am I late?
Were we called in early?

Everyone who was in
the-- the training.

Was he drunk?

Was who drunk?

Was Beckett drunk when
he made the mistake

that killed
a firefighter?

We don't know that
he made a mistake.

That's what they're up there
trying to figure out.

So he wasn't drunk?

As far as I know,
he's been sober a while.

I mean, I think that's why
he's been so cranky.

Why?
You know something I don't?

I-- I'm just sad
that someone died.

You know, we sign up
to fight fires.

We know the risk.
But at a training exercise?

It shouldn't
have happened.

Agreed.

Hey, what's, uh, what's going on
with you and Carina?

We're not not talking.

Mm. That's what
I'm talking about.

I kissed Eli.

You have nothing
to say about that?

Oh, no.
I got a lot to say.

I have so much
to say about it.

But you know, nobody likes
to hear "I told you so."

But you didn't
tell me so.

Uh, you know what?

Uh, technically, I didn't, but
I told me so, in my head, so...

You're ridiculous.
Uh, why?

Because I saw this coming
from a mile away?

How? How? When?

Uh, last time
we were in this room.

Literally, the last time we were
working in here together,

you were like,
"Ugh, I hate that guy."

But it was in that,

"I'm totally gonna make out
with him in the end"

kind of way.

Well, you know what?
It happened.

Yeah!
Yeah, okay.

This-- This is the kind
of drama I am here for.

- Let me see.
- He keeps texting me.

I-- Oh, my God.
He's funny.
Right?

Yeah, I guess.

I mean... yeah. Mm.

Vic, are you--
what are you doing?

No, seriously.
Just stop.

Nothing,
I'm just trying to--Hey, hey.

No! No!
No. I-- No, no.

Come on, let me live. No.

Stop it.
Ooh!

One second. Okay.

Sorry.

Well, now he'll think
you're funny, too,

so you're welcome.

Hey.

You actually think
this investigation's

gonna get rid
of Beckett?

Hey, if this is happening, Ruiz,
then something's happening.

This is just
a preliminary step.

You know, taking statements,
building a timeline.

So, no singing,
"Ding-dong, the Beckett's gone"?

Not yet.

Maybe I could, like, uh, like,
hum it softly to myself?

Mm. If your humming is as bad
as you're singing, maybe no.

Hey, we can get Hughes
to sing it when it's time.

Alright.

Alright.
Take care, man.

Still feel like singing?

If you've got time to lean,
you've got time to clean, 19.

Sullivan, you're up.

Oh, someone's trying
to reach you.

Oh, Eli.
No, I know.

I know that you hate him,
but he's really not that bad.

Have you seen
my poll numbers lately?

I don't hate him.

I don't hate him.
I don't hate him.

I don't hate him.
I hate...

I don't hate anything.

I hate politics.
Don't you hate politics?

You used to hate politics.
I think I hate the word "hate."

Are you having a seizure?

Maybe.

I got to take this.

I got to take this.

Eli, my man.
Talk to me.

Yeah, no, I'm here.

Engine 19, Ladder 19,
and Aid Car 19

requested to
2624 Aldred Road.

Hey.
Hey, Aldred Road.

That's your old neighborhood
again, right?

This one has
Tomás's shop.

Okay.
Theo, switch with me.

I'm on desk duty.
I'll go.

No, I'm good.
Are you sure?

I said I'm good.

His hands are shaking.
Is Beckett drunk right now?

Beckett's an idiot, but he
wouldn't be drunk on the job.

In the middle of
this investigation?

I don't know that it's really
great decision-making skills

guiding his choices
right now, you know?

I think he's drinking.

I think he tried
to stay dry,

and it's just--
there's temptation.

And I just--
I think he's drinking.

Maybe it's the shakes
because he hasn't had a drink.

And that's any better?

I bought him a bottle
when I was really a mess.

I know it's awful
and I'm going to hell,

but I bought him a bottle,

and I put it right
in front of him on his desk.

Well, if any of us
follow Beckett

into a fire right now,
joke's on us.

Okay. Listen up.

Larsson, Ruiz!

Is anyone else
in there?

I don't know.
I could barely see the door.

Herrera, we have five
coming to triage.

Copy, Bishop.

Okay, fire is well-established
with heavy smoke.

- What's going on?
- Gibson, Bishop, fire attack.

Ruiz, search and rescue.

Herrera, what do you
think you're doing?

Wiggins, cut the utilities
in the building.

She's taking over.

This what we're doing?
Are we sure?

I mean, of course we're sure,
but are we sure?

Yes.

Alright, this is different
than Beckett's apathy,

where he just lets Herrera take
over because he's checked out.

Warren.
No, this is basically
a mutiny, okay?

We could all
get fired.

This could affect
everybody's ability

to get any job
after this, forever.

Warren, this doesn't work unless
we're all in this together.

We're all in
this together.

Herrera, we're not
doing this again.

You're correct.

A drunk captain will not
put my team in danger today.

That is inflammatory
and not your call.

You're sitting
this one out.

That is not your call!

Yeah, it's mine.

You're not getting us
killed today.

Cutler, inch-and-a-half hose
line fire attack.

If you think I'm just gonna
stand here and let you--

Hey! Hey! You need to calm down.
Don't talk to her like that.

If she needs protecting
from you, Montgomery,

she shouldn't
be commanding this scene.

Enough, Beckett!

Captain, I swear to God,
if you don't--

Montgomery, get back
to triage. I got this.

Beckett, I don't recommend you
making this more difficult.

I don't care what you recommend, Herrera.

You're completely out of line.

Key people are
concerned you might--

I'm not drunk, Herrera.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Take it easy.

Alright, let's not get
distracted by this meltdown.

We have a job to do.

Klyne, we need a ladder on
the east side of the building.

If you don't stand down
right now, I'll call the chief.

I'll tell her exactly
what you're doing.

Go ahead! Go ahead and call her!
Let her see you like this!

I mean,
Sullivan, Warren--

surely the adults here
can see how insane this is.

And what she's doing is gonna
blow back on all of you!

Captain, I think you should
follow Herrera's orders.

They're not orders if they're
coming from a subordinate!

Okay, let's not cause a scene
in front of the civilians.

Larsson, get another line
on that roof.

Warren, back to triage.
Sullivan, move.

Come on.

You're gonna regret this.

Chief.
Oh, no, no.

No need for all of that.
As you were.

Apologies, Chief.

I'm old school--
and ex-military.

Old habits.

First day of boot camp,
I was too slow to stand

when my sergeant
walked into my barracks,

and my arms still hurt from
how many push-ups he made me do.

But I learned respect
for respect.

Ex-military, too.

And old school as well,
if I'm being perfectly honest.

Ah.

Oh, I hide it that well?

No, no.

It's just, uh, well you're--
you're, uh...

Yeah. Yeah.

I have to play
to a lot of crowds.

Right.

Anyway,
it's appreciated.

And a reminder that some
of our newer members,

let's call them,
are not as professional.

Indeed.

I'm glad
that you're on this.

It's a tough assignment,

and we're very fortunate
to have someone so seasoned,

so professional
handling the investigation

into what happened
to Lt. Cooper.

Well,
thank you, Chief.

You got everything you needed
talking to 19?

I know that's a little unorthodox,

me asking anything
about it at this point.

No.
But this is my first
of these inquiries

with the
Seattle department,

and, yeah, I'm just doing
due diligence.

No, no.

Everybody's been very
forthcoming and cooperative.

Good.
Captain Beckett?

Sean can always
be counted on.

He's old school,
like us.

Yeah,
I had heard as much.

Which is why it's a relief, actually,

that it's looking like
a no-fault.

Really?

Well, I still have some
follow-ups with 88,

but it's looking good
for us.

Nothing that can really be
directly pinned

on Captain Beckett,

should we have to, uh,
present it that way.

That is very good
for me to know.

Thank you, Josh.
I appreciate you.

Chief.

Uh...

Hello, hello!
Hi.

Hi, hi. What...

Hello.
Hi.

I could have waited for
the next clinic day

to bring this stuff...

But you wanted
to see Maya?

Guilty.
Mm-hmm.

It's like I have a crush
on her or something.

Aww.

It's like the very beginning
of a relationship,

where both people
are into it,

but also they don't really know
where they stand,

so they don't want
to come off too strong.

But also, we are
already married.

It's sweet.
It's stressful.

I like it,
but Maya's on a call.

Oh.

Okay, well, I might as well
stock this stuff while I'm here.

Okay.

Hi.

Hmm.

This is one of
the only times

I've been to this station where
someone is excited to see me.

Oh, we love it when you're here
for Crisis One.

It's just the sneak-attack,
dive-bomb, drive-by therapy

that leaves us
a little squiggly. Ah.

Oh, I started my psych
course at U-Dub.

Oh, that's right.
Mm-hmm.

- How's it going?
- Uh, it's amazing.

It's amazing.
I love it.

Uh-huh.

Dr. Crompton?

Yeah?

Oh, the things
I would do to that man.

Dr. Diane!

I mean, if I wasn't
in a relationship.

Uh-huh.
And he wasn't married,
and I had the option.

Ooh, okay.
Oh, please.

You would, too. Well...

I mean, to look like that
and think like that.

Mm-hmm.

You know, we can
talk like this now.

We're colleagues.
We're equals.

I wouldn't say
"equals."

After Crompton's course
and this? Equals.

I'm glad you got out
of there safe, Tomás,

but this better not be because
of those extension cords.

No, bro. I did exactly
what you guys told me to do.

I don't know what
the hell happened.

Okay, okay.
You can't move

while I'm trying
to help you out of here, okay?

Wait, wait. Hey!

Herrera, we got one more inside!
Name is José Ortega.

Evac, there's one person
still inside.

Name is José Ortega.
Move, move!

Herrera,
we need another way in.

Copy,
we need an alt entry--

In the back alley
behind the shop.

Tomás's apartment connects
into the barbershop.

Okay, Gibson, behind the shop,
there's an apartment.

You can breach that door and
access the rear of the shop.

Got it!

Great,
a backyard junkyard.

One man's junk is
another man's--

Man's fire hazard.

Herrera, there's a metal
security gate on the door.

We're gonna have to
bust through that.

Copy.
Cutler, help Bishop.

Run a line there and be ready.

That door's our only way in.

Well, I'm just saying,

why is he hanging out
being all sourpuss,

and you're here
school nursing me?

Is anyone looking
for Mr. Ortega?
Yes. Yes.

Now, please, stay still so
I can listen to your lungs.

Tomás. Tomás!

Mrs. Ortega?

Tomás...

Then it was all smoke.

You just left Jose?

Theo, go in there
and get my José, please!

If I could, I'd already
be in there, Mrs. Ortega.

But I--

Señora, wait!
No!

Hey! Hey!

Okay. Okay. Okay.

José!

How has only a fourth of the
dispatch division been trained?

We can train up
as many C1 units as we want,

but if they're not
being deployed correctly--

You're Diane, right?

Like Diane, Diane?

Like Maya's therapist
Diane?

Yes.

That's what I thought. Okay.

I feel bad.

I know she just wants
a little insight about Maya,

but, you know,
doctor-patient.

She knows that.
But I mean, I get it.

If somebody came in here
who understood

the inner contours
of my boyfriend's brain,

I'd want to pump them
for information, too.

Hmm.

Something going on there?

Uh, no. No.

He's just working through
some stuff right now.

Okay, I know you can't tell me
anything about Maya,

but you can tell me
how are you feeling

about the
whole situation.

That won't be about Maya.
That's about you.

Carina,
you know I really can't.

Okay, what if it was your wife
or husband or-- or partner?

I just need something.
I need something to make me f--

I feel like I'm the one
who's losing it,

and I can't keep showing up
for the fixing of it

if I am losing it.

Fine.
You get three questions.

If I can answer them,
I will.

Really?
Yes.

Great.
That's one.

Oh, co-- Wow.

Two more.

Okay. Okay.

Is my wife doing better
right now?

Like, in your
professional opinion,

is my wife doing
clinically better right now?

What would my saying yes
to that mean to you?

That we're
getting somewhere.

Then it looks to me like
you're getting somewhere.

Great.
Okay, one more.

Do you think Maya and I are
going to make it through this?

Carina,
I can't answer that.

Yes, you can.
You know. I know you know.

Y-You're Diane.

I can't answer that,
but I can tell you

that you can't go through what
you've both just gone through

without thinking
and feeling different things

on the other side of it.

So even if you still want
to be together,

you have to figure out
how to make it a "together"

that works
for both of you.

I feel like you're saying
we are breaking up.

I'm really not.

Then
what are you saying?

That you have to figure out
what you want, what you need,

and what that all realistically
looks like right now,

and then you have
to ask for it.

Okay, my head hurts.

Yeah, that's how it always feels
when she does her thing.

Y-Yeah?
Yeah.

Sullivan, fire's moving
north fast. What's your status?

Slow going.

Coming out to get the rotary
saw, in case we need it.

Copy.

We don't have a lot of time
before it's too risky to go in.

What's
she talking about?

- My José is still in there!
- No, no, no.

We're doing everything
we can to save him, okay?

No, you're not.

You're all out here,
talking to me. No.

No. I-- We all
have a job to do.

Mine now
is here with you.

Mrs. Ortega, please.

Please, Theo.
Go get my husband!

- Hey!
- Beckett, what are you--
Stand down!

Stand down! Stand down!

- No! Beckett!
- Beckett! Beckett!

No! No!

Didn't really think
that through, did you?

Mr. Ortega!

Mr. Ortega!

Mr. Ortega, SFD!

Surprised just how
secretarial leadership is?

No, Dean complained
about it plenty.

Whoa.

Ma'am!
Ma'am, ma'am!

You can take--
It's okay!

It's okay!
It's okay.

- Ma'am, can you hear me?
- Oh, my God.

- What's your name?
- I--

Did I-- Did I make it?
Am I here?

If your goal was to get yourself
to a fire station, you did--

which is impressive,
under the circumstances.

I'm Diane.
I'm Vic.
What's your name?

I just learned to drive.
I didn't know what to do.

It was like I couldn't
even stop driving.

I hit everything on the way
over here.

There's a lot of blood
on her right side.

We're gonna have to keep
her calm and very still.

There is a deer in my car!

We're gonna take care
of all of that.

We're gonna
need more hands.

Carina! DeLuca, we need
you down here now!

Get ready for whatever
comes out of there.

19, this has now become
a two-man rescue,

Mr. Ortega and one of our own.

Beckett pulled a cowboy move.
I need that door breached now!

Josh, hi.

Yes, that's right.

Divita Burton will be
continuing the interviews at 88.

You know, I always did think
that it was absurd

that these inquiries
were conducted by one person,

rather than an entire team,
so I changed that.

She seems more than up
to the task,

and I think that
with both your perspectives

that the department will get
a much clearer picture.

Mm-hmm. Indeed.

Okay, talk soon.

[ Crying ] Oh, my God.
This is the worst.

Okay, just don't look at it.
Just tell me your name.

We're doing introductions
right now?

I'm Carina.
That's Vic, and that's Diane.

Diane! She told me.

They're incredible
firefighters and shrinks,

and I'm a great doctor.

You don't even know
your luck.

Luck?

There are antlers
inside my body!

Okay, we're gonna take care
of that right now, alright?

How's your pain?

It's not so bad,
as long as I don't move.

Is that normal?
Well, here.

Can you put these on
for me?
Okay.

I never even wanted to
learn how to drive!

I was scared of this kind
of thing, and now look.

You were scared
about this kind of things?

Not this, specifically.

But when you learn to drive
when you're as old as I am,

you think about all
the mortality and fatality

and the danger everywhere--

stuff a lucky clueless
16-year-old doesn't.

Ready.
Alright.

Uh, can you turn that way
to protect your eyes for me?

Face the deer?!

F-Face me.
Face me. Look at me.

Look at me.
I'm-- I'm right here.

Look at me. Look at me.
- I'm right here.
- Oh, no.

I'm right here. Good.

Mr. Ortega!

Mr. Ortega!

Alright, don't worry,
Mr. Ortega.

We're gonna get you out of here
as soon as we can.

I got you, Mr. Ortega.

Ahh!

Ahh!

I got you, Mr. Ortega.

It's you and me, buddy.

Alright.

Penetrating injury
into her right side.

She's stable,
but we need to secure

these antlers
before we saw.

And by "saw," you mean get
these antlers out of me, right?

We don't want to risk
injuring anything else.

The way they've gone in,
they might be close to the liver

or the kidney, and we don't
want to move things around.

It's just better for you to be
in a proper hospital for this.

Oh, that's perfect.

I'm going to get gauze
and ABD pads.

Okay, it's starting to hurt.

It's starting to really hurt.

It didn't really before,
but now--

That's 'cause the initial
adrenaline rush is wearing off.

I'm gonna give you a little
something for the pain, okay?

Okay.
Okay.

Keep pressure on.
I'm going to get the saw.

I'll put this to
secure the wound.

You might feel
a little pressure.

- Hey, Monica. Monica.
- Hmm?

You're doing great.
You're doing great, okay?

Why don't you, um, you just tell
me something about yourself.

Like, uh,
where did you grow up?

New York.

Ugh!
This should not be my life.

- I am a city person.
- Yeah?

I fell in love with my husband,
who's a businessman in--

in the city.

And then he sold his startup

and he wanted to move
back home to Seattle.

I was tricked.

But it was too late.

I was already in love with him.

If he had told me
in the beginning,

"You have to choose
between me and the city,"

I would have picked New York.

Wow.

Oh, people love to rag
on the subway,

but let me tell you--

even at its worst,
it is not this bad.

The casual morning masturbator

grossly eyeing you
across the train is nothing

compared to harpoon via Bambi.

You're funny.

♪ I've been losing
my religion, oh, Lord ♪

♪ Now my life is like
a fiction I wrote ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm the same guy ♪

Herrera?

You've got,
like, 30 seconds.

♪ Yeah, I'm like a cowboy ♪

♪ Always on the run
from the sheriff, he knows ♪

♪ He knows I don't
fear no one ♪

♪ He knows I'm my father's son ♪

♪ Hmm, oh, I hear the bullets
flyin' over my head ♪

♪ Before it's time to reload ♪

♪ I've been losing
my religion, oh, Lord ♪

♪ Now, my life
is like a fiction ♪

Come on, Beckett.
We gotta go.

Come on, Beckett!

Beckett, we gotta go.

Sean! Sean.

It's time to go.

♪ I won't surrender ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I won't surrender ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I won't surrender ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ I won't surrender ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

José! José!
Oh, my God.

Hey!
No, no, no, no.

Oh, how is he? Is he okay?
Tell-- Tell me.

Is he gonna be--
Tell me he's okay.

We have to give them space
to treat him, okay?

Please, tell me
my husband is okay, Theo.

Okay, uh, Mrs. Ortega,

I haven't lied to you
or Mr. Ortega before,

and I'm not
going to start now.

The truth is,
I don't know.

I'm so sorry, but if you can
just let them

take care of
Mr. Ortega,

I can get back
to work, okay?

Okay? Alright.

Okay.

Okay, this is
the last little bit,

and then we're gonna have you
out of this car.

Okay?

No, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no!
Are you alive?

Are you kidding me?
Okay.

Is this thing still alive?

It's dead.
It's fully dead.

I-I-I think
I checked its pulse.

You think?
I thought you were a doctor!

Well, yeah, but n-not of--
not of deer.

It's just a muscle spasm, okay?

It happens to people too.
It's dead.

I promise you,
it's dead.

Okay?
Okay.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Can we just wait?

Uh, what if-- what if it
does it again

and then you slip
and then the saw--

No, Monica.
That's not gonna happen, okay?

You're catastrophizing.

I don't think you can tell
the person who's

connected to a deer
via its antlers

plunged in her stomach that
she's catastrophizing!

Okay, well, that is--
that is fair enough.

Um, look, Monica, I know
this is unbelievably scary,

but we really need to cut this
to get you out of here, okay?

We are not gonna let
anything happen to you.

Okay?

Okay.
Alright.

Alright.
Here we go.

Let's get this
oxygen on you.

That's sweet, Ruiz,
but I got it.

I'm trying to help you out,
but suit yourself.

Okay, Mr. Ortega.
We got you.

He's coming around.

Mr. Ortega? Mr. Ortega,
can you hear me?

José!

Mr. Ortega, don't--
don't try to speak, okay?

You're in good hands.
Just lay back.

Load him up.

Alright, Mrs. Ortega.
They're gonna--

They're going to
take him to Grey-Sloan.

- I-I'll drive her.
- Okay.

Whatever's left, I'm sure
will be here when I get back.

Vámanos. Vámanos.

Come on, Beckett.

Let's get you to Grey-Sloan
so you can get checked out, too.

I am fine, Warren.

You're not fine.

You're going to
the hospital.

I can't do this.

Hey, you already did.

You're out.
You're good.

You-- You're
headed to the hospital,

and you're on
to the rest of your life.

No, not this.

Living here, being here,
this being my life.

I can't.

Look, I love my husband.
Like, really love him.

And I-I know he loves me,
which is why

I didn't even realize--

Well, after this,
I'm pretty sure

he'll live
wherever you want.

It's not just
where we're living.

My gut tried to warn me,
and I didn't listen.

I loved the city and my life
there and who I was there.

I mean, more than who I am
with my husband.

More than maybe him, I think.

I have to go home.

I ignored my gut, and now
there is an antler in it.

Okay, I think maybe you should
just talk to him first.

Like really, really
talk to him

and tell him
what you're feeling.

Tell him what you need.

I think we're past that.

This probably
isn't a great time

to be making
any giant decisions.

You've been through
extreme stress.

No, it's the perfect time.

You guys saved my life.

I have to do something
with the rest of it

so it feels like mine again.

Okay,
let's load her up.

Did today
really happen?

Yeah.

We got through today
because of your leadership.

We'll get through tomorrow
as a team.

We did what we had to do,

and we're all alive
because of it.

Well, what the hell
was he thinking,

jumping into
the fire like that?

Trying for redemption?

A desperate move to be brave?

No, no, no.
That's not what that was.

Nah,
I've seen this before,

that thousand-yard
stare in his eyes.

Back in Iraq,
we were all pinned down,

waiting forever for
an air strike to save us.

PFC Gadson,
he just--

He was sitting there,

just rocking,
hands covering his ears.

I saw it in
his eyes, too.

Same vacancy
I saw in Beckett's.

Then, uh, Gadson,
he just stood,

and he walked
right into enemy fire.

Yeah, Beckett jumping through
that fire wasn't bravery.

That was something else.

Hey, Monica, everything's
gonna feel better tomorrow.

Okay?
Thank you.

Actually, you know what?
In, like, an hour or right now.

You know, can you stay
on top of her pain?

She's been through a lot today.

Of course.
We've got her.

That was incredible!

My God!

And we killed it!

Up here! Up here!
Oh!

Oh.
- Well, okay, Doc.
- Ohhh!

Oh, I forgot the rush
of having your hands in it!

I mean, you know, tending
to your sweet little brains

is the privilege of a lifetime,
but my God!

- Hey, hey.
- Oh, oh, the adrenaline!

The thrill!

The rush of being ins--

Hey, Carina?

Oh, my God.
Are you--

Am I being an idiot?

Am I-- Am I--
Am I ignoring my gut

and going to end up
with an antler in it, too?

I mean, metaphorically.

Am I the car?

Am I Monica?

Am I the deer?
Am I the antler?

Am I-- Am I the antler
in Maya's gut?

Or is this whole thing
with her an antler in my gut?

Or is this just a gigantic
warning sign that I'm ignoring

because I'm in love with her?

I mean, how do
I not freaking know

who or what I am
in this freaking metaphor?

I-- Carina.
Carina.

Carina.
Take a breath.

Am I just signing up
for more pain?

Okay,
you know what?

I don't think that's what's
going on with you guys.

You're both working
really hard at this.

I mean,
she's seeing Diane--

She's only seeing her
because the department made her.

Uh, the first
session, sure.

But we've
kept working together,

and she's not doing that
for the job.

She's doing that
for you.

For both of you.

Okay, you know what? Ask me--
Ask me the third question.

The one that Diane wouldn't
answer when we were upstairs.

Okay,
I'll do it for you.

Do I know that you and Maya are
going to make it through this

and actually be
better off for it?

Yes, yes.

Of course, yes, I do.

Oh, my God.

I now have to go deliver a baby.

Hey, now, see?
Could an antler do that?

What?

I'm saying you're not an ant--
You're not an antler.

- Okay.
- You know what?

I have had the same crazy,
exhausting day as both of you

and not all of them
can be winners, alright?

So I need some support.

Yes, we did it!

Yes!
Thank you both.

Still not over it!

Still great at this!
Woo!

Still got it!

You wanna
stay for dinner?

I think we're
having venison.

Unh-unh.
No. No, ma'am.

Mm-hmm.

Woo-hoo-hoo!

Y'all are not gonna believe
what happened to me today!

Dr. Diane...

What's--
What is going on?

It's been a day.

Hey. Are you--

Is the barbershop okay?

Is Tomás--
He's fine.

The place is a complete loss,
but he's fine.

Okay, good.
I know that must've been hard.

I wish you would have let me
switch places with you.

No, I told you
I didn't need that.

Well, I know, I was just--
You could've traded with me--

Vic, can we please
not talk about it right now?

Hey. It's not you.
It's not you.

We, uh--
On the call, we--

Beckett--

We strongly believed
Beckett was drunk,

and it was a mess and everyone's
still shaken up about it.

Hey!

I hope you're proud
of yourselves, 19!

This is not how we do things.

The stupidity
and the shortsighted--

The Beckett situation
was being handled.

Respectfully, Chief,
- it wasn't.
- No, no, no.

Don't pretend a single one
of you has any respect for me

or this department.

The hubris that pervades
the day-to-day movements

of this station is astounding.

I don't know how it got
this way, but it ends right now.

Your actions today violated

almost every protocol
in the Seattle FD,

and it just might have
cost you all your jobs.

Does someone wanna explain to me

what exactly went down
in the field today?

Chief,
Beckett was presenting

like he was under
the influence and--

And we had to do
something about it.

Chief,
listen to me.

I've been saying he doesn't
have to be in there

and everyone's acting
like I'm crazy--

Enough!

This is what I'm talking about!

Permission to speak,
Chief?

Beckett was drunk. Period.

I think we can all bet
our careers on that.

We did
bet our careers on that.

We knew what
we were doing.

We understood the repercussions
of our actions,

but we also knew that if it had
gone any other way,

we all wouldn't be
standing here right now.

We would be making
funeral arrangements like 88.

We're firefighters, Chief.

It's what we do, and we do it
because we love this job.

We just want to be safe
so we can keep doing it.

I appreciate your calm
statement, Herrera,

but your eloquence does not
excuse your actions.

Okay.

Now I have to deal with it.

Out of my sight.

All of you.

It was literally
our only option.

No, it wasn't.

There were plenty of things
we could've done.

But, I mean, we made our choice
and now we have to live with it.

Ross was right.

It was bad form.

It was way worse than bad form.

Well, I've got
no good words.

Now we're really screwed,
because you always have, like,

a joke to get us through it.

Okay.
Knock, knock.

Nope.
Please, no.

Not having any jokes
is better than

improvised
knock-knock jokes.

I'm just glad
you weren't there.

At least one person
won't be fired.

You will have to continue
the legacy of 19.

Can she do it?

I believe in you,
Vic Hughes.

It's not gonna happen, right?
It's not gonna happen.

They can't fire all of you.

Besides, you were
in the right, so...

So what does your wife think
about it all?

Oh, no, no, no.

We're definitely not at
"casual gripe about your day"

normal yet,
so we're definitely not at

"please help with
this landslide in my head,

because this
is all my fault."

You think this is
all your fault?

I know it is.

Because you
gave him the bottle?

You heard about that?

Yeah.

But you were about to tell me
about it regardless, so...

I'm a monster.

There is a direct line between
someone's death and my cruelty.

I mean, what kind of person
does something like that?

The entire time,
going to the liquor store,

handing him the bottle,
the look on his face...

I felt like I'd won.

Okay, in your defense,

you had what could be
called a nervous breakdown.

Alright, you literally
were not in your right mind.

Cooper would be alive
if it wasn't for me.

We don't know that.

We don't know
what actually happened.

This mutiny would have
never happened.

Oh.
We could be fired...

Mm-hmm.

All because--

because I--
because I was--

...in a terrible place.

A terrible place that
you have worked very hard

to get yourself
out of.

I have to talk to
the Chief, okay?

I have to explain--

God, it feels like battery acid
in my stomach, this guilt--

The guilt is how you know
you're a decent human being.

A lot of people have done
a lot worse

and never felt
an ounce of regret.

I did an awful thing.

You did. You did.

And you can apologize for it
when you are ready.

But Beckett has a disease, okay?

He needs to get help.

And if it wasn't your bottle,
he'd have found another one.

You have your part,
he has his.

You did not make him
drink on the job.

How was your day?

I have to go check on
Captain Beckett at the hospital.

Look, what we did
wasn't rash or reckless.

He was not in a position
to run point on a scene.

And that didn't come out
of nowhere, you know that.

You of all people
should know better.

You think you have
special privileges, Lieutenant?

I'm finished discussing
this here,

and you've already
been dismissed.

Alright, then.
Sully, Sully.

I'll see you later, okay?

Look, I don't think I'm going
to be able to make it, okay?

This Beckett stuff has
gotten into my head,

and I have
to go a meeting.

Okay? I...

I've been missing them because...

But, um...

I have to
prioritize it.

Hey.
I thought you were--

I checked myself out,
I checked myself in.

Captain Beckett?

I, uh,
I need help, Chief.

I spoke to my union rep.

I'm taking
a leave of absence.