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"And the next thing he saw was this bare
hand of his going right into the middle
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00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:07,080
of a great glistening mass of black,
3
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,480
and he gave one piercing cry
as it touched.
4
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:13,160
Outside in the sunshine,
far away behind the house,
5
00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:16,440
the mother was looking for her son."
So good, no?
6
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,120
I didn't really get the end, though.
7
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:24,680
Maybe it means
8
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,080
how we all grow up
and our parents don't really get that.
9
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,400
And we are busy on our own adventures,
10
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,640
but our parents
are looking for their child.
11
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,960
It must be something like that, I think.
12
00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:36,320
That does sound nice, no?
13
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,440
-Fuck, now I feel like calling my mom.
-I know, right.
14
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:45,640
All right, bro.
15
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,880
-Did you just say "eyebrow"?
-No.
16
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,000
I said...
17
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,000
all right, bro.
18
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:54,880
-All right, bro.
-Okay.
19
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,240
I'm gonna set an alarm for tomorrow.
I have a long day.
20
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:03,000
Set it for when you have to wake up
and not an hour before that.
21
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,520
I need an hour to wake up.
22
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,160
Yeah, but it disrupts my sleep.
23
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,400
Fine.
24
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,040
I'll set an alarm for 30 minutes
before I need to wake up.
25
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,320
No, 40.
26
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,200
Forty-five. Please.
27
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:18,640
Good night.
28
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:20,200
I love you.
29
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:21,880
Good night. I love you, too.
30
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,400
Fuck, dude.
31
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:19,960
It's happening again?
32
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,240
What breed of mosquitoes are these, man?
They're completely immune to repellents.
33
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,360
You got one?
34
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:30,720
I also killed one.
35
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,240
That's amazing.
36
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,240
Two down, 200 to go.
37
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,080
Momo, let's cover our heads and sleep.
I have work tomorrow.
38
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,160
Fuck this.
39
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,400
Kavya, get up, man.
40
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:51,960
Do something, man.
41
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:52,880
Get up!
42
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,520
Okay,
you're not gonna let me sleep either.
43
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,200
I'm going to find a solution for this
once and for all.
44
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,800
380 rupees, madam.
45
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,320
How can it be 380 rupees?
It's just mosquito oil and ice cream.
46
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:11,560
Thank you.
47
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:13,760
What is this?
48
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,800
Why does it say fire and ice?
49
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:16,960
I know, right?
50
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,000
Why would anyone want to use this?
51
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,360
Especially in Bombay
where it's already so hot and humid.
52
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:22,640
We'll find out.
53
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,360
-We aren't using this, Dhruv.
-Why not?
54
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,320
Because why would I want
to feel hot or cold down there?
55
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,360
I don't know. We'll find out.
What's the worst that can happen?
56
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,800
I'll go to the doctor, say,
57
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,600
"I was having sex
wearing a Fire & Ice condom
58
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,880
-and my pubes caught fire."
-Hey, let's go.
59
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:39,800
Good night, bro.
60
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,600
Stop walking so fast.
61
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,080
I'm not walking fast.
You are walking slowly.
62
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:50,720
-Mine is better.
-Let me try.
63
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:51,640
Sure.
64
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,760
Want anything else?
A back massage or something?
65
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,720
-What the fuck was that?
-What the hell was that?
66
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,840
Somebody just smacked the back of my head!
I will screw your happiness, asshole!
67
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,600
Mr. Delhi 2016. Relax.
68
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:03,520
The fuck?
69
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,280
-Who is he?
-Shit. He is taking a U-turn.
70
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,000
Fuck this, let's run, let's run.
71
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:10,760
Shit-face!
72
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:11,960
Where are you running off to?
73
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,240
Karan,
what the fuck are you doing here, man?
74
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,600
-How are you?
-How are you doing?
75
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,840
-Been ages, dude. How have you been?
-All good, dude. All good.
76
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:23,760
You tell me.
77
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,640
Nothing, man.
Just here for, like, four hours.
78
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:26,840
Came here for a day for work.
79
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:30,040
You tell me, how are you?
Running private tuitions like Mishra?
80
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,040
I'm seriously thinking of doing it.
81
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,400
By the way, that's Kavya.
82
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:34,440
Kavya, he's Karan.
83
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,280
This guy shat his shorts in second grade.
84
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,560
-Good to know.
-Thanks, man.
85
00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,960
That's the best introduction
anyone's ever given for me.
86
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,160
But this is my assholic friend, Dhruv.
87
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,840
Who was caught by a teacher
in fifth grade,
88
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,840
stealing a second grade kid's lunch
and eating it.
89
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,840
-That's horrible.
-Stuffing his face.
90
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,320
Basically you used to steal
other people's food since you were a kid.
91
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,360
See, I was always this cute.
92
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,720
No. You were always this fat, you needed
that much food to stuff in your face.
93
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,760
His food used to be very delicious.
Tell her, dude.
94
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:05,680
It's justified.
95
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,160
-You would have done the same thing.
-I wouldn't.
96
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:12,200
No one would have done that. You look
better in real life than your pictures.
97
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,880
-Thanks.
-If you don't mind me asking,
98
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,720
what are you doing with this loser?
99
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,360
I don't know. Chilling? Time pass.
100
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,760
-Yeah, time pass.
-Really?
101
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,080
Time pass?
102
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,120
Have you ever seen your face? Dhanush.
103
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,320
-What?
-Dude, wait.
104
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,320
You are exactly like that,
like Dhanush and Sonam Kapoor.
105
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,920
Come on, your auto is waiting.
106
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,360
I like this, I'm going to use this.
107
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,400
Except he makes Dhanush
look like a supermodel.
108
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:38,560
Fuck off.
109
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,080
-That's a good one.
-You can use that next time on him.
110
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,480
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
111
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,080
-What are old friends for?
-I'm gonna head out. This was great.
112
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,440
Come home.
113
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,360
Yeah, true.
114
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:49,640
Let's grab a beer.
115
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,640
Next time. Next time, I promise. Okay?
116
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,280
Because I just had the midnight buffet
and drinks at the Marriott.
117
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,720
Marriott? Big man.
You're running private tuitions, too?
118
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,280
I got a really good deal on Little App.
119
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,200
-Sweet. I love that shit.
-Yeah, like fancy times.
120
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,920
Technology changing our lives. It's great.
121
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,440
-True.
-Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go.
122
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,680
-I will see you guys later.
-Have fun.
123
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,280
It was a pleasure meeting you.
124
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,760
-See you, bye.
-See you, bro.
125
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,440
The next time you're here let me know,
we'll do something together.
126
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,080
I will. Definitely. See you.
Bye. Good night.
127
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,320
Do all the guys from Delhi sound the same?
128
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:26,600
-Why is my phone vibrating so much?
-You're also awaiting Tinder action.
129
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:30,840
I'm sorry. Do you know
where a pharmacy that has condoms is?
130
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,600
Go straight and make a right.
131
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,160
24-hour medical shop.
132
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,720
-It's gonna be open, definitely?
-Yeah.
133
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:36,800
Okay.
134
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,240
-Use it. It's our favorite. We love it.
-Dude.
135
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,120
-You're super cool.
-I know, right?
136
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,360
You're much cooler than--
Look at your face.
137
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,680
You're so much cooler than him.
138
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,760
Okay, if you decide to leave him,
definitely, you should give me a call.
139
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:48,760
I have his number.
140
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,520
-I'm gonna see you guys. Good night.
-Bye.
141
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,800
-Bye. I'm getting late.
-See you, bro.
142
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,320
And laid. So, it's a great night for me.
See you.
143
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,520
Have fun.
144
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,760
-So proud of yourself, no?
-Very.
145
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,520
Kavu, come out and talk!
146
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,960
Kavya, come out and talk.
I can't hear anything.
147
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,480
Why are you ignoring me?
148
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,800
I'm not ignoring you, dude.
I couldn't hear anything.
149
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,080
Sandwich?
150
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,080
How can you be hungry again?
151
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,640
First of all, we had such a heavy dinner,
ice cream also.
152
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,320
But that ice cream fell.
153
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,680
So, that craving is still there.
Yes or no?
154
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,200
Yeah, okay. Make one for me.
155
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:30,840
Listen.
156
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,200
Vivek's getting engaged.
157
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:35,120
Vivek?
158
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,840
Oh, Vivek.
159
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,160
Your first boyfriend from Nagpur.
160
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,760
Isn't he the same guy who put
a photo collage of you and his mother?
161
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,600
Captioned it as what? "Lovers."
162
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,560
That was fifth grade, Dhruv.
163
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,720
Will you stop remembering
weird things about my exes.
164
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,120
-But it's just funny, dude.
-I'm being serious.
165
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,640
Serious. Wait.
Yeah, we should take this seriously.
166
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,200
Salami. We should put that salami.
You want that salami?
167
00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,880
-Yeah, whatever. Okay, put.
-Yes.
168
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,480
It's weird to know
that he's getting engaged.
169
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,240
He was my first boyfriend
and the longest one.
170
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,280
So nice. Did you just say that?
171
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,080
I meant that was the longest relationship
I was a part of.
172
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:19,000
Sure, right?
173
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:21,400
Stop being cheap.
174
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:22,680
What cheap? You said it.
175
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:23,880
I'm just repeating it.
176
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,400
You won't feel weird
if your ex gets married?
177
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,680
You know, it depends.
If the pretty one gets married, then, yes.
178
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,280
If the other "blah" one gets married.
I'll be like,
179
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:33,520
"Whatever, they got married."
180
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,520
-So Delhi.
-What's so Delhi about this?
181
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,840
If that guy,
the same Nagpur guy part two--
182
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,880
And who used to call you what? "Jaanu."
183
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,880
If that guy gets married,
are you really going to be upset?
184
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:43,920
Be honest.
185
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,840
First of all,
he was my high school boyfriend.
186
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:49,200
Will you stop remembering weird things
about my exes and making me feel guilty?
187
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,680
I'm not trying to make you feel guilty.
All I'm saying,
188
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,720
it's good to remember the fun things
about exes and forget the bad shit.
189
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,800
Otherwise, how else will you date again?
190
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,120
No! No, you fucking don't! Who is this?
191
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,040
You see that?
192
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,120
-Who the fuck is this?
-Are you still thinking about him?
193
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,440
Yeah. I'm sorry.
194
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,120
I saw that girl's profile sometime back.
195
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,560
And she's pretty, dude.
196
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,120
Now I'm feeling even more terrible.
197
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:19,480
Okay.
198
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,080
Simple maths.
199
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,960
No, no, no. Listen.
This is going to make sense.
200
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,320
Ninety-seven percent of Indian males
201
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,840
that get married are between
the age group of 18 to 35.
202
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,560
That means, if you have 100 friends,
203
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,520
52 will be boys, 48 will be girls
according to the sex ratio.
204
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,560
Out of those 52,
you must have dated at least three boys.
205
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,080
Just say yes. Don't act innocent.
206
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,000
Yeah?
207
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:50,200
So, the chances of your ex
not getting married is...
208
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,160
0.03 percent. This much.
209
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,160
-Makes no difference.
-What's your point?
210
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,000
The point is that him getting married
is actually the normal thing.
211
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,160
What you should do is send him a message.
212
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:04,240
"Congratulations.
213
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,360
Please don't make another photo collage
of your wife and your mother
214
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,960
and put it on Facebook as your DP.
Because that shit is not cool, man."
215
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,480
And he is capable of doing that.
You know that.
216
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:16,720
Sent him a message. You'll feel good.
217
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,200
Even if you don't, give it two days.
You'll forget about all of this.
218
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,880
We are too busy
to remember any of this for too long.
219
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,040
What an amazing speech, Dhanush!
220
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,400
No. What has Karan taught you, man.
221
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,920
It's going to be your new thing, no?
222
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,640
Yeah, I guess you're right.
223
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:37,160
He's a nice guy
and I suppose I am happy for him.
224
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,240
How nice.
Now can we just finish this topic?
225
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,000
Mosquitoes are dead but we're
talking about the same thing.
226
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,120
This is so nice.
227
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:46,080
I know, man. I know.
228
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:48,880
What?
229
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:49,800
Bite?
230
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:50,800
No.
231
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,840
Okay, small bite.
232
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,000
Why would you do that?
233
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,080
-Do what?
-That's the best part of a sandwich.
234
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,480
Why would you do that? That's horrible.
235
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,560
See, these are the things
that you should feel bad about.
236
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,880
Not your ex getting married.
That shit doesn't even matter.
237
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,720
-Yeah, yeah, I get the point.
-Yeah?
238
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:13,880
But I'm more hungry.
239
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,760
Will you make one and split?
240
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,640
Now we're talking.
Just give me two minutes.
241
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,880
-Now we'll get a good night's sleep, too.
-What's the connection?
242
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,120
The more you eat, the better you sleep.
243
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,160
Even pandas do this, don't they?
244
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,840
Pandas don't have to get up
in the morning for office.
245
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,560
Pandas are damn lucky, dude,
come to think of it.
246
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,200
I can't believe
we're having this conversation.
247
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,520
-What's the time?
-At 3:30 a.m.
248
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,480
It's 3:30?
249
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:48,120
Okay, let's just finish this episode
and sleep, man.
250
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,400
You didn't have to bring upmy ethnicity or my size.
19055
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