All language subtitles for Lucky Hank S01E02 George Saunders

Man: Could you please, just for
once, say something?

You're here! At Realton College!

Mediocrity's capital!

I think I inspired myself to
work on my novel.

Well, I love it when you start
your second novel,

it's usually a wonderful time in
our marriage.

It should be painfully clear to
you by now,

your time, sir, it's up!

All right, let's all be, uh,
careful here.

I can't be canceled,
I have tenure.

This is Marni Cole
from your father's office.

[♪♪]

[rapid typing]

[ "I'll Fly Away"
by The Mighty Indiana playing]

♪ Some glad morning...

[man nearby laughing]

♪ ...When this old life
is over... ♪

[laughing loudly]

♪ Oh, I...

[laughing continues]

[♪♪]

[laughing continues]

♪ I'll fly away

♪ Listen!

♪ I want to hear...

♪ David play the horn...

Form, content,

both of these play a part,

but what do you think
is more important?

Well, I think form
should follow content, always,

but, you know,

sometimes, form can be
its own kind of content.

Right, right, so interesting.

Now, let me take a moment
to ask a more prosaic question.

How did you each get published?

Well, I slept with his father.

Ah!

[laughter]

Right there,

the secret to success,
ladies and gentlemen.

...A more prosaic question.

How did you each get published?

Well, I slept with his father.

Ah!

[laughter]

Right there,

the secret to success,
ladies and gentlemen.

That's how you play the game.

♪ ...I'll fly away...

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Hank] I'm not doing it.

Of course you are.

- No.
- Hank!

No, I don't see
the value of it.

In having a live,
onstage conversation

with George Saunders?

No.

Booker Prize-winning
George Saunders?

British prize.
Very pretentious.

Also a finalist
for the National Book Award.

Mm...

Named one of
the 100 most influential people

by Time magazine.

Time magazine
isn't what it used to be.

He had a MacArthur Fellowship.

I have kidney stones,
so we're even.

I'm sorry
about the kidney stones.

Take your pills.
I have some if you want.

But there are other issues.

With the impending budget cuts,

it's distasteful to be paying
this guy 10 grand

for a one-hour talk.

Ten grand, I wish.

What, 20 grand?

Thirty?

Fifty? For Christ sakes!

This was settled weeks ago.

Why are you bringing
this up now?

I'm concerned that I might
accidentally say something

really consistent
with my personality,

but inconsistent
with a modern college campus.

- That's valid.
- Yeah.

And I don't want to talk you

into doing anything
that you don't want to do.

He didn't want you either.

But the public at large does.

Wait, what did you just say?

He-- he wants you
to be okay with this

because he's okay with this.

Why wouldn't he
be okay with this?

Look, Hank,
I spoke on the phone with him.

When he gets here,
you guys chat.

You're old friends, right?

I know that.
What did you tell him?

I told him you'd be honored.

I am honored,
but I still want out.

- No.
- Why not?

Because there's
thousands of posters

plastered all over campus,

and I know that
you're gonna be great at this

because there's not
a fiction writer within 50 miles

who's in your league,

and everyone knows that,
and you're our guy.

Get Finny to do it.

Finny will ask a question
for 45 minutes

and it won't even be a question.

- Well, who is it?
- What?

The writer
within 50 miles of here?

Okay! Get out of here.

[♪♪]

[Hank sighs]

[Hank, thinking]
You get to a certain age

and you lose all faith
in experts.

[winces]

I know how well I do my job,

and to think others
are working at the same level--

that's completely unacceptable--

especially doctors.

I'm not denying your symptoms,

but their cause
isn't kidney stones.

[Hank] ...And as a teacher,

I see through guys like this.

I mean, he was right
in the middle of his class--

maybe in the bottom third.

[Hank] ...in excruciating pain.

I'm looking
at a B-minus assessment

of my medical problems.

I mean, I'm sweating.

I almost pass out
during racquetball.

I think you're ignoring
some obvious facts.

My father had kidney stones.

[doctor] You've mentioned.

And his father did.

[doctor]
You don't want kidney stones.

Little monsters
with jagged edges

that can tear the lining
off your penis.

Jesus.

What... did you really need--

You know what?

If it's not too much trouble,
I think I want a second opinion.

- What about you?
- She's not a radiologist.

She's not allowed
to evaluate results.

It could be due to stress.

That's your go-to, right?

All doctors say that.

I rarely say that.

You have the floor.

She's not going
to contradict me.

Okay, I guess
you've thought of everything.

[Lily] So you're saying

there's no way
that this could be stress?

It's embarrassing.

[sighs]

We started on the same level.

In fact, I think
I was better regarded,

for about 10 days.

My book review
was on a Wednesday,

and then the sales figures
came in the next Thursday,

so eight days.

Eight days.

Hank, you...

you're sharing the stage
with him.

Yeah. The last time I did that,
it sucked.

It's an honor.

There's a fine line
between honor

and "I wish
I never met that dickhead."

[Hank, thinking]
What is it about writing

that attracts so many dickheads?

I mean, somehow,

the need to tell everyone
about your rich inner life

it's irresistible,

but why would anyone care

about somebody else's
rich inner life?

Have a rich outer life
for the rest of us to enjoy.

"The warm wood
on her forearms."

[Madison] Oh!

Oh, yeah, I did use that.

I'm so sorry.

I plagiarized myself.

No, no, no, no, no.

No.

Don't pass judgement.

You just...

you have to press yourself.

You have to think past

the images
that you already own so that--

[engine revving]

- That's the way--
- [engine revving]

Why don't we take three minutes?

[engine revving]

I swear I don't even remember
writing that.

[engine revving]

[engine revving]

Dickhead.

[Solange] I don't understand
why you don't just talk to him.

[Gracie] Professor Rourke

is not the kind of man
who responds to reason,

especially not
from someone like me.

Hmm.

He's a misogynist,
isn't he?

Sometimes, the male brain
isn't developed enough

to understand its cruelty.

He bullies you.

[♪♪]

[car horn honks twice]

Right here.

[♪♪]

- George.
- Hank.

Hey, man,
thanks for inviting me.

Yeah.

My students are so excited,

they've been talking about
nothing else for weeks.

I mean, they can't believe
that I actually know you.

Oh.

Well, my students
can't believe I know you.

[Hank] Your students
don't know who I am, do they?

[George] A couple do.
You know, I told them about you.

[Hank] Oh, okay.

I gotta introduce you
to the department

or they'll kill me.

"I am not exactly dressed
for standing on the moon,

which, as I understand it,
is super cold."

That's from my New Yorker--

Your victory lap, yeah,
New Yorker, October 2009.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Well, thanks.

Oh...

Your editor's wife
is our friend's sister.

Oh. Well.

How's your hotel?

I take it they have you
at the Moderna Center?

[George] No, it was all full.

There's a field hockey team
staying there.

Big game tonight.

Oh.

Yeah, they have me
at The Drake,

which is really lovely.

Although there's a crane
outside my window,

and I had a dream last night

of a talking wrecking ball,

and it said I was going
to be late for the presentation,

that I suck,
that nobody likes me, like...

Grace DuBois.

Oh, nice to meet you.

You must leave there at once.
Come stay with me.

- We have a guest room.
- I have a guest house!

You do not.

It's above the garage.
You've seen it.

It sounds lovely, but I--

But there's no lock
strong enough

to make you feel secure.

It even has its own fridge--

and a hot plate
if you are a tea drinker.

[chuckling]

I'm so sorry.

They have me
on a bit of a schedule,

but I hope to see you all
at the talk later.

Yes, yes.

I might make it.

I have stuff to do.

I hope you can come by.

I probably won't be there.

All right, well,
I'll just, I'll walk you out.

Yeah.

"Charming eagles
was a family trait.

He didn't know how he did it,

he just looked at them

and thought about them
crashing into a cliff's face.

The white-chested eagle,

commanded by a mysterious force
it didn't understand,

smashed itself."

Interesting.

Should I read more?

[Hank] No, no.

- Go ahead.
- Uh, okay, thanks.

Um, yeah,
you're always escalating.

I love that.

That's a very rare thing,

and it seems to come
very naturally to you.

Yeah, yeah, it does.

So we want
to enforce escalation,

even on the line level.

If the eagle has a white chest,

we can assume the reader
already knows that, right?

Cut.

And if the force is mysterious,

do we need to say
the eagle didn't understand?

That's implied. Cut.

You know, and a lot of this
is just habitual.

Yeah, he's just saying
edit yourself.

Yes, but if you want
to be excellent,

you have to reject the habitual.

That is where mediocrity lives,

in the habitual.

That is how
you will distinguish yourself

from other writers

and start to sound
more like you.

Holy shit.

Uh, yeah,
I kinda always knew

there was
this whole other level,

but just didn't know
how to get there

because no one ever really

taught me
how to do that before, but--

Okay, that's enough.

That's good from you...

We do have other...

You know,
we're almost out of time.

I have plenty of time, actually.

Well, we're running
out of time.

Are you sure?
I thought you said we had--

Yeah, my watch--

I don't know if you--

It's earlier
than you said it would be.

I'd like a word, Paul.

Paul.

You don't have to say my name
every time you talk to me.

I've spoken to you
about the loudness of your car--

There's nothing wrong
with my car.

- -before--
and nothing has changed.

Or ever will change.

It disrupts my class.

Huh.

Not more than your teaching.

How did you get like this?

What mis-turn did you take?

I am allowed to drive
the car that I want.

I'm allowed to take care of it,

and it likes to be revved.

It's good at it.

What I don't understand

is how anyone has come to think

that they have the right
not to be impacted by others.

How about that wrong turn?

Basic consideration
wouldn't kill you.

Well, it so happens

that I am an at-risk individual

with regards
to basic consideration.

I can't risk it.

"Paul..."

"Paul..."

[chuckles]

Why'd you say that to George?

Do you think he noticed?

Yeah.

Oh...

I don't know why I do this.

It's only people
I admire, you know.

Rude stuff just comes out.

Mm.

You want some advice?

From you, no?

Ah! Sorry.

I'm like a freight train
that can't stop with insults.

[♪♪]

Excuse me, is Myrna here?

Myrna.

Professor Du-Boise.

Green Subaru Outback,
RBG bumper sticker.

Green Outback,
RBG bumper sticker.

If I remember correctly, Myrna,

you...

are a top-shelf tequila gal,

am I right?

Flannery O'Connor said,

"If you live
till you're 10 years old,

you'll have enough
to write about for a lifetime."

Do you think that's true?

Uh, I think it's true,

but it would not be
a very good story.

[laughing]

Does art have to be so painful?

I mean, do we all have
to end up

like "van Goch"...

with an ear missing?

Uh, it's van Gogh in this room.

So, Jack Kerouac wrote
"On the Road"

on this long, continuous,
teletype scroll.

What sort of paper
do you write on?

Uh...

I just use a computer.

Well, I guess we have time
for one last question.

Yep.

Yeah, Mr. Saunders,

if there was one piece of advice
that stood out above others

to help us become the writers
that we want to be,

what...

what would it be?

Well, I'd say
trust that your taste is good.

Have that good taste
exert itself onto your prose.

Then just write every day.

Just write.

Maybe that's my problem.

I've been doing
the once-every-decade method.

[laughing]

No, actually,
thank you for that,

'cause that's awesome.

Even great writers get stuck.

That's just part of it.

I hate my first draft,

but I love it

because it leads
to my second draft

and my third draft.

It's all part
of the process.

Hank?

What keeps you from writing?

Lunch.

We have that lunch...

- Oh, right.
- Lunch.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, guys.

You're all amazing.

So exciting.

I think I learned more
in that one hour

than I have all year.

It's-- it's just
frustrating, you know?

'Cause, like, now I know

what it's like
to sit in a classroom

with a great teacher who's--

who's totally engaged,

and, like, really--

really trying with me,

and, like, putting in effort
and listening and...

and after
I've experienced that,

it's like...

I don't want to go back
to Devereaux's class.

I don't want to go back
without you.

Well, I'm going
to be going back, Lester.

That's not my point.

[Solange] Maybe if you spent
more time on your writing

than fighting
with your teachers,

your stories
wouldn't suck so bad.

The fact that
you don't understand them

just proves their value to me.

I heard your family donated
a building to Notre Dame

and you still didn't get in.

Everyone's heard that story,
Solange, okay?

It's boring.

Just like your stories.

Oh, next time,
I'll add necrophilia.

"You'll know when
true excellence presents itself

because the mediocre

will be in confederacy
against that person."

I'm paraphrasing
the Confederacy of Dunces

to make a point
about excellence,

something I think
we should all be entitled to,

no matter who we are
or where we're from.

Is this a club or something?

I'm just trying
to eat my lunch.

This is not a club.

Maybe it is.

You're right, maybe it is.

That was interesting.

It's a public space,

I can be as interesting
as I want.

I'm Ellen's roommate, Ava.

Okay, Ellen's roommate, Ava.

And, um, you went
to East Lake Country Day

with my brother,
but he was a year younger.

Brooks Noon?

Uh, yeah, sure, Brooksy, yeah.

- I'm Bartow.
- I know.

So what do we do now?

No, I'm certain
it was at Bread Loaf,

and we went into town
to get dinner,

and at the bar,

Colum McCann was singing songs
with the locals--

I'm sorry,
what was that back there?

What?

When you put me on the spot
about not writing.

No...

Wait, you brought it up,
so I...

It just seemed
a little hostile.

Hostile?

I mean...

Hank, maybe you're being
a little sensitive?

I...

I'm fine, just...

Jacob Rose told me

that you said that
this might be a problem here.

What? No. No, I...

no, that's not...

I didn't want to impose on you.

I didn't know
if you wanted to do it.

I am thrilled to be here.

I haven't seen you in 30 years,

and I'm just...

I'm really glad you're doing it.

Okay.

I'm... I'm excited, too.

This-- this is going to be fun.

What is this guy up to?

I'm pretty sure
it's short-story writing.

Yeah, well, he's acting
really weird.

Oh, no, let's not add salmon

because it's the only thing
that you like at Nora's.

We're eating there tonight?

Tomorrow night.
We are.

Because...

Because?

Julie and Russell
want to have dinner with us

because, in their words,
they have news.

They have news?

- They have news.
- That's code for...?

[sighs]

I missed the window.

What window?

The window.

Young dependent grown,
before new dependent arrives.

You know,
a distractionless window

in which to write.

Maybe just try the window

between waking
and going to work.

And you're happy about this?

Mm.

I'm adjusting to the idea,
with modification.

I looked up
how to say "grandma"

in every single language.

Swahili is "Bibi",
which is pretty cute.

I mean, I think
George just hit a nerve.

Why you don't write?

You ask me why I don't write?

Hey, hey,
'cause I got two jobs, okay?

I'm a teacher
and I run that department,

and you know my co-workers
are pains in the ass, right?

Also, I actively raised
our daughter with you, right?

And now I'm going to be
a grandfather.

Knowing Julie,

that's going to be
a third full-time job.

She's gonna want me there--

You think they're gonna want
you to raise the baby?

I've been waiting for this.
Stop it.

You're spinning out of--
Just stop it.

Stop exaggerating.

- You do write.
- [phone ringing]

You started something
a few weeks ago.

Go write that.

Hello.
Hi, Mr. Nerhand.

Thank you
for getting back to me.

[ "Ready C'mon"
by the Weejuns playing]

[Meg] That table's reserved.

For who?

For guests.

Don't you have an office
or something?

Oh, yeah.

My office is not for work.

It's to gather with friends,

where all my cares
and responsibilities

can slip away.

[♪♪]

[Hank, thinking]
Why is it to fun to draw a dick?

I mean, am I wrong to think
we all like doing it?

I know I do.

Yeah, you can come,

just don't stuff
your pockets with cheese.

Okay.

[Hank, thinking] Maybe because
there's no wrong way to do it.

I mean, all dicks are different.

That's how we should
identify each other.

Forget face recognition.

Unlock your phone
with your dick.

I mean, you've already
got it in your pocket,

so it's right there.

So...

when's the last time
you saw him?

This morning.

He's obviously very featured
in my dissertation.

He was?

You jerk,
you didn't read it.

I skimmed it.

Fair enough, boss.

I only skimmed your novel.

[♪♪]

[sighs]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Bartow]
In light of the conflict

that I've been having
with Professor Devereaux,

we want to form
the Excellence Committee.

It's a group of students,
like us,

that aim to both
celebrate excellence

where we find it,

and discourage everything
that is less than.

Look, there's a process
for starting new clubs

that usually does not
involve me in any way.

I'm sure my assistant, Jill,

could steer you all
in the right direction.

I am the Dean of Faculty.

Right, well,
this concerns the faculty,

that's why we chose you.

Some of the faculty

are intentionally resisting
being better,

and it's affecting
us as students.

We want to create

a system of incentives
and deterrents

to hold them accountable.

Bartow...

I understand

that it's difficult

to move on

from this incident that you had
with Professor Devereaux.

No, it's not,
because I am past it.

I'm over it.

It's over.

He's the one
who won't apologize to me.

Needing an apology
is really not moving past it.

If we had
the Excellence Committee,

I wouldn't need the apology.

I can give you a common room
twice a week for an hour,

I'll buy the pizza,

and you can have access
to the photocopy machine.

Yes!

Hey! What are you doing!

Put her back down!

Put her down!

Hey, you! You!
Stop doing that!

Get away from there!

Do you know
how many professors had to die

for me to get this spot?

Four! Four professors!

And two of them suffered!

Here you go.

I was thinking about

the 92nd Street Y thing
that we did.

Kinda jogged a memory.

Oh, I loved that night.

That was the first night
that I met your father,

at the reception after.

Yeah, we kept in touch
for years.

We wrote letters.

You did?

Yeah. Yeah, it was
so illuminating and stimulating,

and it pushed me.

I don't think I'd be
the writer I am

without his influence.

Me neither.

Where's Gracie?

Gracie!
Are you here, Gracie?

Or are you too chickenshit
to face me?

I'm standing right here, Paul.

You took my parking spot?

[Gracie] I took nothing.

You should have paid
your parking tickets.

I am a tenured professor
of the English Department

of Railton College.

I deserve a parking spot

and the freedom

to rev my car's engine
whenever I see fit!

[Gracie] Are you done, Paul?

[Paul] Not even close.

You have no right.

You are a cruel, petty,
vindictive woman.

I liked "Tenth of December".

Come on, come on.

[Hank, thinking]
Maybe all my father's cheating

was an attempt to ejaculate out
his kidney stones.

It seems like
it's the same tube.

Phew, that was something.

Oh, trust me,
that was nothing.

[urinating]

You know, I do write.

To-do lists, grocery lists.

Important texts.

Yeah, very important.

Meaningful.
Moving, even.

I just haven't written
a second novel.

[urinating]

Look, Hank, I...

I shouldn't have asked you
that question in class.

That was--
that was stupid.

Don't worry about it.

No, actually, it's not okay.

You know, I get into
this teacher mode,

and I forget
that everyone's not my student,

and I put you on the spot
in front of your class,

and I am sorry.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

Yeah, I mean,
it's just writing, right?

It's not like everyone
has to write their whole life.

Harper Lee only wrote one book.

Second one was just a draft.

Man, I hope nobody publishes
my unfinished books

down the road for a quick buck.

Yeah, that would be the worst.

I mean, maybe somebody
has said all they have to say.

Big deal.

Hey, Hank, this has been great.

I really enjoyed
hanging out with you.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm looking forward
to tomorrow night.

How is 19th-century poetry

different than
21st-century poetry?

It's difficult to really see

without
a side-by-side comparison,

so let's do that.

Let's compare Walt Whitman

to say, oh...

Professor DuBois,

our own poet in residence.

On the left

is Whitman's
"Song of the Open Road",

and on the right

is Gracie DuBois's
"Follow the Lilac Sheet".

Now, let's start with
the titles themselves.

"Song of the Open Road"...

has a mythic quality to it,
does it not?

[says meekly]
"Follow the Lilac Sheet".

[class laughing]

[says meekly]
"Follow the Lilac Sheet".

All right, Whitman, one,
DuBois, zero.

Go ahead.

Wonderful!
I can see again.

What is that?

Is that a stain on your shirt?

Honestly, Hank...

you cannot teach classes
in stained shirts.

It debases our profession.

It's not a stain, Mom.

It's a reminder
of a sauce that I loved once.

Did you see this?

Yeah.

Your father's retirement
is big news.

He's done
quite well for himself.

You know, without you and I

dragging him down
for the past 40 years.

He always did have
extreme focus.

Here it is.

My first, and maybe last,
book review.

That was
a very positive review,

as I recall,

though a tad poorly written.

Too much plot summary
for my taste.

They always do that

when they can't form
a clear opinion on their own.

I always wonder if I got
this positive review

because Dad called in a favor.

I find it hard to believe

that a reviewer
would give a positive review

without really meaning it.

Unless they really loved
your father.

And that reviewer
loved your father.

I mean, really loved him.

So, you're right,
can't be discounted.

[Hank] Maybe the second novel's
the charm.

Still working on it.

[Mom] You made
family choices, dear.

[♪♪]

Family choices.

Hey, Mom...

I think Julie's pregnant.

Really?

- Oh!
- Yeah.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh! Goodness, hold on.

It's not like she's going
to go into labor right now.

You don't have to pack
for the hospital or anything.

Here.

This was given to me
by your grandmother

when I was pregnant with you.

It was given to her.

I don't know how long
it's been in the family.

And now it's for Julie.

Why didn't you give it to Lily?

You look...

not unhappy.

Yeah, I'm a smidge up
from neutral, so...

- Hello!
- [Hank] Oh, hey.

All right, babe.

- Hi, baby.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Everybody good?

- You look radiant.
- Oh, thank you, Dad.

How are you guys doing today?
Did you have a good day?

- Yeah, pretty good.
- Yeah. yeah.

Great!

Okay, okay,

I bet you're wondering
what this is all about,

what the news is.

The thought
had crossed our minds.

All right, but first,

Russell has something
he wants to tell you.

Yeah, um,

so, as you both know,

our yard has a flat area
before the hill starts.

Yeah.

Yeah, and as
you probably remember,

my old roommate
installs swimming pools.

I don't--
I don't remember that,

but go on, go on.

Yeah. Um...

Show them the--
show them the thing.

It's pre-fab.
He's got a company.

You don't have to put
any money up front.

It's actually
a really cool business model.

You put five percent down,

you pay the rest over time.

Right? So the pools
start at 6,000,

but the one we want is 10.

You can go up to 15,
but we're only doing 10.

Yeah.

So, uh, five percent
of 10,000--

- $500.
- Yeah!

So who wouldn't want
a pool for $500?

Could we just cut to the news?

No, yeah, that's what
we're trying to tell you.

- We're building a pool!
- We're building a pool.

A baby pool?

[Julie]
No, just a regular pool.

[Russell] Um, but we're not
just building a pool.

No, we have
a whole business model.

And the business model
will pay for the pool.

Okay, let me just
stop you there.

No, listen, Dad,
let me just stop you there,

'cause here's the best part.

There's three groups
of people out there

that can't communicate, right?

Swim students,

swim teachers,

and people with pools.

Our app connects
those three groups--

for a percentage--

and we get part of
the whole of that percentage.

Hank, will you, um,

run up to the bar
and get me a martini?

And get one for yourself, too.

Oh, I'll have a beer.

Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Can I get a martini

and another martini

and a shot,
while I'm waiting?

And I guess, a beer.

All right, just give me a sec
because I am down a bartender.

Oh, yeah?
You're hiring?

Yeah.

Can he be an idiot?

Sure.

[Solange] It was horrible!
He humiliated you--

in front of the whole class!

That man is an effing monster.

Now, now, Solange.

We have to be tough.

Tougher then they.

We have to have
skins like rhinos

and souls like children.

What he does,
it's just not important.

But in front of everyone--

What is important is the work.

The word.

Okay.

Okay, everyone,
let's settle down.

Come on, come on.

How come you always
drag out that old chair?

It doesn't even look ergonomic.

This chair...

has a personal history.

It was in my family growing up.

It was part of
our dining-room collection.

Um...

my father,

the lieutenant colonel,

he always sat at the head.

Now, no one else

was permitted to sit

until my father
entered the room,

and my brothers,

four of them,

they would try
to elbow each other out

for the chair
next to my father.

But I had a different strategy.

"Sir," I would say,

when he entered the room,

and he would acknowledge me,

"I've written another poem."

And he would say,

"Please recite it for me."

And then, for those moments,

and...

well, only those moments,

which would last
for the duration of the poem,

I would have
my father's undivided attention,

and then he would nod,

and he put me
in the seat next to him,

which was this chair.

Wow.

That's messed up.

What... what do you mean?

Like shooting the bird

perched on the end
of your rifle,

but what hunter could resist?

John Barth.

This is so exciting.

I just wish
you would have read him first.

I'm just going
to introduce him,

and when he starts yapping,

I'm gonna lean over

and quietly fart
in his direction.

You're really wound up
right now,

so you going to be able
to hold it together?

I'm fine. Why-- Why--

Why do they have to have
so many pictures of him?

He's sitting right there.
He's wearing the same jacket.

[Lily] That's
a slightly different jacket.

[Hank]
It's not slightly different.

It's not slightly different.

Come on, honey.

Don't ever let me sit under
three pictures of myself

in my favorite stupid old coat.

[plastic cup breaks]

Okay. So now, I think
you have to get out of here.

- What? No, I'm the moderator.
- Take that.

I'm going to tell them
that you have GI issues

and I'm going
to get Finny to do it.

No! Finny can't do it!

He's going to do
a beautiful job.

You're a crazy man right now.

Do you want another headline
in the newspaper?

Okay. All right,
get Finny to do it.

Get out of here.

Where's he going?

Just...

you just have to trust me.

This is better for everyone.

Where's Finny?

[crowd cheering]

[Hank, thinking]
Ah, field hockey.

It's one of
my favorite distractions.

I hope no one confuses
my presence here

with school spirit,

which I find pointless.

There's so much wasted effort
that goes into manufactured pep.

For what?

It benefits no one,

except, well,
maybe cheerleaders,

who feel, you know,
less alone and stupid.

Hey, your talk over already?

Nah, I just left.

How can a moderator leave?

- Where's Smith?
- Oh, ankle.

She limped off the field.

Yeah.

I don't know
why I love this game so much.

Yeah, I started smiling
when I came over the hill

just at the sound
of the wood on the ball.

It's just the hustle,
the elegance of a perfect pass.

Still, I wish our school
had one other half-decent team.

All our banners
are field hockey.

It's a little sad.

What?
She tripped her!

Come on!
You gotta call that!

Head in the game.

Why'd you leave?

Turns out,
George Saunders is an asshole.

Oh, that's too bad.

Yeah.
He plays with people.

Meaning you?

Well, he messes with
other writers' heads.

It's demeaning.

He demeans people.

Meaning you?

Yeah.

Did you tell him that?

No, I just walked out.

You should've said something.

People love to hear
when they're A-holes.

Oh, good dig!

[♪♪]

You know I was kidding, right?

[♪♪]

It is my honor to welcome you
to tonight's very special event.

I'd like to start
with your childhood,

if there's been
any abuse or trauma,

that would be great,

and then I'll ask you

about your real relationship
with your mother.

What?

"O human race,
born to fly upward,

wherefore at a little wind
dost thou so fall?"

Dante.

Yeah, I know.

Enter Prospero,
here to conjure a storm.

Funny. You had me there
for a minute.

Admit it.

You don't respect me.

You think I'm a hack
whose father got him published.

You didn't even read my book.

What? Of course, I did.

Paula and I both read it
on Block Island with the girls.

We read it and we loved it,

and we sent you
a bottle of wine with a note.

Because I remember
shipping was a pain in the ass.

And I read it again last night.

It's really good.

I mean,
it really holds up, Hank.

I mean, that scene by the bus,

where he's trying to tell her--

[Dean Rose] George Saunders

in conversation
with Hank Devereaux, Jr.

[applause]

For someone
with that kind of talent

to quit writing,

I'm against it.

[applause]

[cheering]

Um...

...you, uh...

Before you wrote,

you were an engineer, right?

Are you a little drunk?

[audience laughs]

Um...

can I get a little drunk?

Yeah. Can we make that
two, please?

[laughing]

Um...

...the chronological order
of "Tenth of December",

is that something
that you planned beforehand,

or after you wrote them,

you decided they should be
presented that way,

because I think that

that order really affects
how those stories land.

Yes, and that is a question

that only
a great writer could ask.

All right, stop patronizing me.
They're paying for you.

[laughing]

...is part of the impact.

Most writers start with
an ending or a beginning...

...Feeding the story
into the...

The majority.

[laughing]

[ "A Random Act of Kindness"
by Kevin Morby plays]

You're getting paid,
but I'm in charge here.

- Yeah, okay.
- All right?

I'm not against e.e. cummings,

but I feel like that's
where it should have been...

♪ ...So it seems...

The big letters, gotcha.

♪ ...The nightmares...

[Hank] So I'm glad you're here.

Ladies and gentlemen,
George Saunders.

[applause]

♪ ...Lift me up

♪ By my hand

♪ Lift me up if you can

♪ Lift me up, be my friend

♪ Through a random
act of kindness ♪

♪ One that's done
from blindness ♪

[♪♪]

♪ Sun came up

[♪♪]

♪ Sun came up

[♪♪]

♪ Sun came up

[♪♪]

♪ Sun came up

[♪♪]

♪ Sun came up

[♪♪]

♪ Sun came up

[♪♪]

♪ Sun came up

[♪♪]

♪ Sun came up

- [Hank] I should have known.
- [Lily] Known what?

[Hank] I could have been
as good as Saunders.

It wouldn't have mattered.

[Lily] What wouldn't
have mattered?

[Hank] I would never have
gotten my father's...

you know...

[ "Le tourbillon"
by Jeanne Moreau plays]

♪ On s'est connus
on s'est reconnus ♪

♪ On s'est perdus de vue

♪ On s'est reperdus de vue

♪ On s'est retrouv s
on s'est s par s ♪

♪ Puis on s'est r chauff s

♪ Chacun pour soi est reparti

♪ Dans le tourbillon de la vie

♪ Je l'ai revue un soir
ah-la-la ♪

♪ Elle est retomb e
dans mes bras... ♪

♪ Elle est retomb e
dans mes bras ♪

What's wrong with you?I was too happy.

I'm trying to
bring myself down.

Hey!
This isn't my stuff!

Have a nice day.

Your ex-husband
abandoned us.

He abandoned you.

Jason!

I'm going to New York to
interview at the Arlyle School.

My friend in history said
there were gonna be cuts.

Can you not be yourself and be
straight with us for one minute?

Do you hate it here?

I take the fifth.

♪

[♪♪]