All language subtitles for Batman S03E14 Catwoman s Dressed to Kill.DVDVRip.NonHI.en.WB

Noon in Gotham City.

While millions of workers
hurry to their midday meal...

at a posh private luncheon, the city's 10
best-dressed women are being named...

by the town's top
couturier, Rudi Gernreich.

And finally, number 10
is Mrs. Blanche Turer...

who popularized the
mini-muumuu for evening wear.

As an extra added fillip, ladies, I
have created a new designation.

For the best-dressed
crime-fightress in Gotham City...

the first annual Batty is
hereby presented to Batgirl.

To accept the award for Batgirl are
Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara.

On behalf of Batgirl, Mayor
Linseed, Chief O'Hara...

the entire Gotham City Police Force
and myself, thank you, Mr. Gernreich.

This award just goes to prove
that there is room for style...

even in crime-fighting.

- Ridiculous.
- It's Catwoman.

I said, ridiculous.
Nonsense. Foolish prattle.

How can Batgirl be the best
anything when Catwoman is around?

No best-dressed list is complete without
the addition of the queen of criminals...

the Princess of
Plunder, yours untruly.

Right, Manx and Angora?

Right.

In any comparison
between Batgirl and myself...

she runs a poor third.

Just a minute, Catwoman.

You can't come here and
disrupt a luncheon like this.

Or my awards.

Ah, but I can, gentlemen.

And I have.

You ladies with your fancy hairdos,
what do you know about beauty?

After you suffer the effects
of my hair-raising bomb...

you will never be able to
raise your heads in public again.

Then we'll see who's
the fairest of them all.

No, not our hair.
Anything but that.

I read your mind, commissioner.

- To the Batphone.
- Right.

In a fashionable
midtown men's shop...

Bruce Wayne and Dick
Grayson scan the new styles.

Gosh, Bruce, my first tux
shirt for the first school prom.

- I don't know how to tie a bow tie.
- I wouldn't be too concerned about that.

Alfred and I will give you the
benefit of our vast years of experience.

How do you like
this one here? It's...

Commissioner Gordon's trying
to get to us on the Batphone.

- We'd better get home.
- No, there's no time for that.

We'll change into our spare
Batoutfits in the limousine...

- and leg it to police headquarters.
- Leg it? How about a taxi?

Arriving at Commissioner Gordon's office in
a taxi might be deemed a trifle ostentatious.

But that's three
miles from here.

A sound mind in a sound body.

Thank you, citizen.

Batrun.

Ruined their hair forever?

Catwoman really knows
a woman's weak spot.

Her last words were
something about her intending...

to become the best-dressed
woman in Gotham City.

A noble ambition.

The problem is, how do we catch
her before she creates further havoc?

Just as you'd set a
thief to catch a thief...

you might be able to capture
Catwoman by using Batgirl as the bait.

Never. Oh, I'm sorry to
be so abrupt, Miss Gordon.

But I wouldn't dream of
endangering that fair lady's head.

No, you'd better leave the
crime-fighting to the men.

Commissioner, Chief O'Hara,
we'll let you know if we get any clues.

Let's go, Robin.

And in an abandoned loft in the
heart of Gotham City's garment center...

Catwoman is fashioning
her criminal conspiracy...

while her admiring henchmen,
Angora and Manx, look on.

I'm pleased to say everything
is going exactly as scheduled.

Batgirl is the perfect
mouse for my Cat-trap.

- Well, you have to catch her first.
- Oh, we'll catch her, all right.

And as soon as the
Troublesome Trio is eliminated...

we can steal the Golden Fleece.

The Golden what?

The Golden Fleece.

It is the single most valuable
piece of clothing in creation.

A million dollars' worth
of 24-karat gold cloth.

All woven into one gorgeous garment,
belonging to Queen Bess of Belgravia.

I managed to purloin this picture of
it today at the couturier's luncheon...

heh, heh, when
no one was looking.

I glow at the thought
of that garment.

Well, how much can we
get for it on the open market?

There is no open market for it.

Then what good is it?

We sell it back to Queen Bess.

It's a national
Belgravian treasure.

Her country will
pay anything for it.

She's due to
arrive here today...

for a series of private
audiences in Gotham City.

If she returns to Belgravia without
it, her people will be up in arms.

In other words...

we are in the catbird seat.

Manx...

take a telegram.

"The annual fashion show,
also run by Rudi Gernreich...

in the showroom of
Fashionation Magazine.

And I'm gonna get away
with it." Signed, "Catwoman."

That's the message, Batman.

What an enormous ego
she has, telling us her plan.

What do we do, Batman?

Let us handle it, commissioner.

And if you should hear
from Batgirl, don't...

Repeat, don't tell her about
this turn of events here.

Your daughter, Barbara, may have been correct
when she said this might be a trap for Batgirl.

Right. I won't
tell Batgirl a thing.

Won't tell Batgirl what, Daddy?

Hmm, well...

I guess I can tell you.
After all, you're not Batgirl.

Having learned of Catwoman's
plan from Commissioner Gordon...

Barbara Gordon dons
her guise as Batgirl...

best-dressed
crime-fightress in America.

While Batgirl hurries to
her fateful appointment...

Batman approaches
from another direction.

In the showroom of
Fashionation Magazine...

Rudi Gernreich again regales the
assemblage with his droll comments.

For the rest of this year at
least, the fashionable woman...

will be wearing less
than ever before.

There is a continuing
trend towards mini-dresses...

mini-gloves and even mini-shoes.

Mini-haha.

If you'll all remain
calm, no one will get hurt.

Just why are you doing this?

These are all
one-of-a-kind clothes, Rudi.

I intend to add them
to my wardrobe.

Let no one say that Catwoman is not
the best-dressed woman in the world.

There are no fashion
shows where you're going.

And how could a feline feloness
like you also be a fashion model?

Ah, ah.

Credit where credit is due,
Robin. She may be evil...

but she is attractive. You'll know
more about that in a couple of years.

Now, are you coming quietly,
Catwoman, or must we use force?

Your silver-tongued oratorio
has convinced me, Batman.

I hereby remit myself to
your muscular custody.

Don't try to pull the
wool over our eye slits.

Tsk. Now, would I
do a thing like that?

You cats slip
back to the hideout.

There's only one ingredient
missing in this stew: Batgirl.

Look again, Catwoman.

How did you find out about this?

I specifically asked Commissioner
Gordon not to involve you.

We can fight our own battles.

Catwoman's going into
the models' dressing room.

Aah! CATWOMAN: Shh!

Clam up.

If the Dynamic Drips react
the way I expect them to react...

they will not step into this most
hallowed and forbidden no-man's land.

But Batgirl will.

What are we going to do?

We can't step into that hallowed and forbidden
no-man's land without closing our eyes.

And if we close our eyes,
we can't see anything.

Uh, a sound observation, Robin.

You can't go in
there, but I can.

And with my eyes wide-open.

Come out, come out,
wherever you are, Catwoman.

Right here.

She's been in
there over a minute.

- I hope nothing's gone wrong.
- We can't wait any longer.

Cover your eyes.

Now, let's go in.

Close the door, Robin.
There are other eyes.

Batgirl, are you in here?

- Catwoman kidnapped her, Batman.
- Holy Robert Louis Stevenson.

- Which direction did they go?
- Out through the side door.

- Thank you.
- Oh, no, no. To your left.

Oh.

Excuse me.

Careful, Robin.

I think it's a lady.

Take my cape.

- Ooh.
- Ah.

May I suggest you take your
hands away from your eyes?

You're liable to maim
yourself. We're fully clothed.

What now, Batman?

- She's probably got a big head start on us.
- Yes.

I'm certain it's all part of
a plan to kidnap Batgirl.

But why?

Do you think
she'll kill Batgirl?

Or worse, Robin.

Or worse.

We can't miss, boys.

This is the most catacaustic
plan in my catalog of crime.

It looks all right in theory...

but how are you gonna keep Batman
and Robin from sticking their masks in it?

Hmm. Simplicity itself.

Look. Here we are
on Pussyfoot Road...

and here is the
Belgravian embassy...

where Batman has been
invited by Queen Bess...

for a private audience at 3:00.

So we steal the
Golden Fleece there...

at the precise moment the
Turgid Twosome arrive here...

to rescue their
precious ally Batgirl.

Oh, you mean they can't
be in two places at once.

No, Angora, they can't.

And no hero worth his
salt would let a lady expire.

It's foolproof, I tell you.

Perfectly foolproof.

And you, Catwoman, are an even
bigger fool than I thought you were.

We who enforce the law would
gladly lay down our lives for it.

Batman won't be here.

He'll be at the Belgravian embassy
thwarting your nefarious scheme.

Angora, gag her.

Crime-fightresses should
be seen and not heard.

There.

That's all we'll hear
of her nonsense.

Manx, set up the pattern cutter.

You'd better pray that Batman is a
"man" man more than he is a policeman.

Angora, get her ready
for the grand opening.

Yes, my dear. You will
make a perfect pinafore.

The type of garment no one will
recognize you in or as. Heh, heh.

If you should pardon
a final cutting remark.

Ah.

So far, all of her crimes seem to
have followed a preordained scheme.

Have you figured it out, Robin?

Well, first she attacked those ladies at
that luncheon with a hair-raising bomb.

And then she stole all
those one-of-a-kind clothes.

It would appear she's on an
apparel binge of some kind.

No doubt. Now, what
could she do for a topper?

Something connected with clothing
that might cap her crimes to date.

Holy priceless collection
of Etruscan snoods.

- Right, Batman?
- Wrong.

There isn't much call for
Etruscan snoods these days, Robin.

Besides, Catwoman's
mind is more commercial.

Speaking of minds,
sir, if I may be so bold...

Uh, be bold, Alfred.

It would appear that your mind is not
really on the subject you're pursuing.

Very observant, Alfred.

My mind's on Batgirl.

Wherever she is, whatever
dire danger she faces.

And we have an audience with
Queen Bess of Belgravia at exactly 3:00.

Yes, another mental
aggravation facing us.

But can't you postpone it, sir?

No, diplomatic
protocol forbids it, Alfred.

She specifically
requested meeting us...

to discuss the rise in
Belgravian misdemeanors.

Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara
are waiting now to accompany us to...

And to get back to Catwoman.

What is it, Batman?

Queen Bess of Belgravia has a Golden
Fleece she wears for special occasions.

No doubt she's brought
it with her to Gotham City.

It's spun from pure gold,
and it's worth a fortune, Robin.

But what would
Catwoman want with that?

It's too hot to handle for
any self-respecting fence.

But if it were to be
stolen from Queen Bess...

Belgravia would be up
a creek without a fleece.

They might even declare
war on our country.

No doubt Queen Bess would mortgage
herself to the hilt to get it back.

Nobody wants war.

Gee, Batman, Belgravia's such a small
country. We'd beat them in a few hours.

Yes, and then we'd have
to support them for years.

Come on, Robin.
Her Majesty awaits.

And just perhaps we'll get some
clue as to Batgirl's whereabouts.

It's 20 minutes of 3, Batgirl.

The next sound you hear will be an automatic
pattern cutter with teeth of steel.

It will take just 20 minutes
to do the work cut out for it.

To cut you into a
perfect pinafore.

And that's why I think Catwoman will be
at the Belgravian embassy, commissioner.

- A brilliant deduction, Batman.
- I couldn't have done better meself. Heh.

It's 20 minutes to 3.

Time, to coin a
phrase, is a-wasting.

Yes, Bonnie.
CATWOMAN Hello, baby.

This is Catwoman purring
in your shell-like ear.

You... You...

You have some nerve
calling me here, Catwoman.

Just doing my duty as
a citizen, commissioner.

Helping to save a life.

To whom are you referring?

None other than Batgirl,
the distaff crime-fighter.

- Batgirl?
- May I have that, commissioner?

This is Batman, Catwoman.

Oh. Heh.

Speak of the angel.

Just what are you doing,
and to whom are you doing it?

You'd better get to 32
Pussyfoot Road, Batman...

where a steel pattern cutter
is just going to work on Batgirl.

Great Scott.

Be here at 3:00 on the button if you
don't want to find Batgirl beside herself.

Holy dilemma.

If we go to rescue Batgirl, Catwoman
escapes with the Golden Fleece.

And if we go after
Catwoman, Batgirl dies.

What...? What are you gonna do?

You go to the Belgravian
embassy and look for trouble.

Yes, Catwoman may be there.

You go quickly and
we'll join you there.

But be wary. You must be
on time for the audience...

or you're liable to incur Queen Bess'
renowned and redoubtable royal wrath.

Heaven forbid. Come on, chief.

I had to get rid of them, Robin,
so that we could use the phone.

32 Pussyfoot Road is
not far from Wayne Manor.

Just pray that Alfred
is near the Batphone.

- This is one of your sticky wickets, Alfred.
- Indeed, sir.

If she recognizes you as Bruce Wayne's butler,
she's liable to analyze the connection...

and learn Robin's and
my secret true identities.

But we have to take the
chance. Otherwise Batgirl dies.

What do you suggest, sir?

A disguise. Something as alien
as possible to your normal self.

But speed is of the essence.

And what of Queen Bess of Belgravia
and the glittering Golden Fleece?

Is it 3:00 yet?

Almost, Your Royal Goodness.

- It's two minutes of.
- Oh.

Well, then we must
prepare to meet our guests.

- Who are you?
- Catwoman.

Is she on my list for
today's audience?

No, Your Royal Goodness.

Call my social secretary
for an appointment.

Sorry, queenie,
but I'm antisocial.

Oh! Thank you, whoever you are.

Think nothing of it, sweetheart.

As a matter of fact,
it was selfish of me.

- Selfish?
- Yes. I'm the janitor here.

If that machine had sliced you to
bits, I'd have to clean up the mess.

- You look very familiar to me.
- Me?

Oh, no. No, I'm the oldest
living hippie in this country.

You may have heard about my being the first
Boy Scout dropout at the turn of a century.

Mm. Love.

See you around.

CATWOMAN: How
very nice of you to come.

And tell me...

where is the much-admired
Batman and his youthful companion?

I'm afraid Batman may be a
few minutes late, Your Highness.

CATWOMAN: Well, it's too bad.

If they had been here, they might
be able to save your worthless hides.

I beg your pardon?

Saints preserve
us, it's Catwoman.

In the adorable fur.

Now that Batman and Robin are
not here to fight your battles for you...

let me see how really brave
you timorous tabbies are.

Get them.

It seems we arrived at an
opportune moment, Catwoman.

Gosh, yes, Batman.
Holy crucial moment.

Most apt, Boy Blunderer.

But the presence of you here indicates that
you have forsaken your partner in crime...

in order to pursue me.

Batgirl. Hsss!

Not a perfect
pinafore, Catwoman.

Get them.

Crime is a bad habit, Catwoman.

Let's go. Warden
Crichton awaits.

You know what this is, Batman?

The Royal Order of
the Belgravian Garter.

Five decorations.
One for each of us.

For finding Her Majesty's Golden
Fleece and returning it to her.

And for finding Her Majesty...

locked up in a closet off
that throne room, she was.

And it's a lucky thing
that we discovered her too.

There are enough international
crises running around...

without us starting
one with Belgravia.

Yes, Bonnie?

I thought you should
turn on your television set.

A roving live-TV unit has
picked up something shocking...

happening right
now in Gotham City.

Thank you, Bonnie.

Holy homecoming,
Egghead and Olga.

Queen of the
Bessarovian Cossacks.

No doubt back to bother, badger
and bewilder Gotham City once more.

Egghead, Olga and her
Bessarovian Cossacks are back...

with another assortment
of devilish plots.

All happening here
in our next episode.