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1
00:00:00,468 --> 00:00:02,336
PREVIOUSLY ON...
2
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:04,205
WE HAVE SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS
3
00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:07,541
THAT ARE GONNA REQUIRE
SERIOUS WORK.
4
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:10,578
LYNETTE AND TOM STRUGGLED
WITH THEIR SEPARATION.
5
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,580
MIKE HEARD A CONFESSION...
6
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,548
I KILLED GABY'S STEPFATHER.
7
00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:16,317
AAH!
UHH!
8
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,352
AND ME AND THE GIRLS
HELPED COVER IT UP.
9
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:23,591
THAT COULD CHANGE HIS LIFE
WITH SUSAN FOREVER.
10
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:26,427
BREE SHOWED GABY THE NOTE...
11
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,297
LET'S SAY SOMEONE KNOWS.
12
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:30,431
I SAY UNTIL THEY TELL US
WHAT THEY WANT,
13
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,400
WE JUST ACT LIKE
EVERYTHING'S NORMAL.
14
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:36,304
AND DECIDED SHE NEEDED TO END
HER RELATIONSHIP
15
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:37,405
WITH DETECTIVE VANCE.
16
00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:41,475
YOU KNOW, BREE, I WOULD HAVE
DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU.
17
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:46,614
YOU HAVE MADE
A VERY BIG MISTAKE.
18
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,490
(Mary Alice) IT'S OFTEN SAID
THAT CHILDREN LEARN
19
00:00:56,524 --> 00:01:01,362
THEIR MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS
OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM.
20
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:07,368
THEY LEARN TO FIND PEACEFUL
WAYS TO RESOLVE CONFLICT...
21
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:11,539
TO MAKE SMART CHOICES
ABOUT NUTRITION...
22
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:17,378
TO MASTER THE ART
OF CONVERSATION.
23
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,514
BUT FOR GABRIELLE SOLIS,
24
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:23,317
THE ART OF MORNING DROP-OFF...
25
00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:26,387
WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?
COME ON! LET'S GO!
26
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,489
WAS SOMETHING
SHE'D NEVER LEARNED.
27
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,324
(honks horn)
28
00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:32,493
YOU SLOW DOWN, PUSH THE KID OUT,
AND DRIVE OFF!
29
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,263
WHY IS IT SO HARD?!
30
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,398
YOU REALIZE I HAVE TO GO
TO THIS SCHOOL, RIGHT?
31
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,334
OH, COME ON. I'M BEHIND
THE WHEELCHAIR KID?
32
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:41,335
THAT'S IT, JUANITA. GET OUT.
33
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:43,404
I'M NOT ALLOWED
TILL WE GET TO THE GREEN ZONE
34
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,273
AND A VOLUNTEER OPENS THE DOOR.
35
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:46,340
REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED
LAST WEEK?
36
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:49,310
YEAH, LAST WEEK I MADE IT
TO MY HOT STONE MASSAGE.
37
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,311
JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN,
38
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,546
PRETEND LIKE YOU
DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, AND RUN.
39
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:58,419
(children laughing
and shouting playfully)
40
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,459
(blows whistle) HOLD IT!
41
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:07,361
OHH.
42
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,500
(whirring)
43
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:15,369
HI, DANA.
I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.
44
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,338
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE
DIDN'T LEARN HER LESSON
45
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:19,440
THE LAST TWO TIMES
SHE BROKE THE DROP-OFF RULES.
46
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,343
THREE STRIKES, SOLIS.
47
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:23,477
YOU'RE OUT.
48
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:25,479
WH--HEY!
49
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,315
I NEED THAT!
50
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,317
YOUR DROP-OFF PRIVILEGES
HAVE BEEN REVOKED.
51
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,319
FROM NOW ON, YOU'LL BE PARKING
IN THE "B" LOT
52
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:33,254
AND WALKING JUANITA TO CLASS.
(gasps) THE "B" LOT?
53
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:36,224
THAT'S, LIKE, A MILE AWAY.
THESE DON'T WALK.
54
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,493
THEY DO NOW.
OH, YEAH? WELL,
WHO DIED AND MADE YOU BOSS?
55
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:42,430
MARGARET FRYE. CANCER.
56
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,432
OH. RIGHT. I STILL OWE
FOR THOSE FLOWERS.
57
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,434
(horn honks)
58
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:49,370
OH, RELAX, PAM! YOU'LL STILL
MAKE IT TO WEIGHT WATCHERS!
59
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,239
PROBLEM HERE, DANA?
60
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,473
OH, GREAT.
NOW THE PIPS ARE HERE.
61
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,409
IT'S SOLIS AGAIN.
SHE'S HOLDING UP TRAFFIC.
62
00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:57,445
YEAH, AND I'M NOT MOVING TILL
YOU GIVE ME BACK MY PLACARD.
63
00:02:57,478 --> 00:03:00,414
(horn honks)
OH, PAM, EAT A CARROT!
64
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:02,283
TELL YOU WHAT.
65
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:05,353
IF YOU CAN TAKE THE PLACARD
FROM ME, YOU CAN KEEP IT.
66
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:09,390
(scoffs) YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M NOT A CHILD.
67
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,459
I'M NOT GONNA GIVE YOU
THE SATISFACTION--
68
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,300
OH!
69
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,335
YOU KNOW WHAT, DANA? JUST
BECAUSE YOU'RE HEAD OF P.T.A.
70
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:23,271
DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET
TO MAKE THE LAWS!
71
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:26,407
OH, I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU.
HERE AT OAKRIDGE, I AM THE LAW.
72
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:30,978
YES, SOME OF
OUR MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS
73
00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:33,447
ARE LEARNED
OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM.
74
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:36,384
AND WHEN IT CAME
TO SCHOOL POLITICS,
75
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:41,489
GABRIELLE'S EDUCATION
WAS JUST BEGINNING.
76
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,536
WHEN IT CAME
TO HER SEPARATION,
77
00:03:55,569 --> 00:04:00,741
LYNETTE SCAVO WAS DETERMINED
TO DO EVERYTHING BY THE BOOK.
78
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:03,611
SHE MADE SURE
HER VISITATION DAYS
79
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,547
WERE EVENLY DIVIDED.
80
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:11,519
SHE KEPT PERFECT RECORDS
OF HER HOUSEHOLD EXPENSES.
81
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:16,490
SHE FOUND HEALTHY WAYS
TO RELIEVE HER STRESS.
82
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:18,726
YES, LYNETTE WAS CONFIDENT
83
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,595
HER BY-THE-BOOK APPROACH
WAS THE RIGHT ONE,
84
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:25,699
SADLY, NOT EVERYONE WAS
ON THE SAME PAGE.
85
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:28,536
WELL, LOOK WHO CLEANED OUT
THE SAD-SACK AISLE
86
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:29,770
AT THE BOOKSTORE.
87
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,506
AT LEAST YOUR DIVORCE IS GOOD
FOR THE PUBLISHING INDUSTRY.
88
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,475
WE'RE NOT USING THE "D" WORD.
89
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:35,543
IT'S A SEPARATION.
90
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:39,613
TOM AND I ARE GOING TO
"HEAL THROUGH COUNSELING"
91
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:43,484
SO WE CAN FIND
"A ROAD TO RECONNECTION"
92
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,486
AND IF NOT,
93
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,521
"MURDER
ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS."
94
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:48,622
(car door opens)
95
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:52,660
(sets book down)
PENNY, YOUR DAD'S HERE!
96
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,528
EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO ME.
97
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,430
IF YOU'RE TRYING TO WIN BACK
YOUR HUSBAND,
98
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,632
WHY DO YOU DRESS LIKE YOU SELL
ORANGES BY THE FREEWAY?
99
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:01,435
(door opens)
(lisping) HEY. SORRY I'M LATE.
100
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:02,670
I HAD TO STOP AT THE STORE,
101
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,605
AND IT TOOK LONGER
THAN I EXPECTED.
102
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,508
BECAUSE YOU
TAWT YOU TAW A PUDDY TAT?
103
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:10,411
HA HA.
104
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:13,547
(normal voice)
IT'S JUST A TEETH WHITENER.
105
00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:15,583
TEETH WHITENING, HUH?
106
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:18,419
AND UNLESS SWEAT SUITS
ARE THE NEW BUSINESS CASUAL,
107
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,421
IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE WORKING OUT, TOO.
108
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:23,691
I'M TRYING. IT HELPS CHEER ME UP
WHEN THE KIDS AREN'T AROUND.
109
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,559
(Penny) DADDY!
HEY!
110
00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:27,628
OH!
REMEMBER TO GET PARKER
AT PRACTICE.
111
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,598
I LOVE YOU.
HAVE FUN AT YOUR DAD'S.
I LOVE YOU. BYE.
112
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,500
DRIVE SAFE.
113
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,404
HMM.
114
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:40,441
I'VE GOT A NEW BOOK TITLE
FOR YOU--
115
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,643
"YOUR HUSBAND'S
BANGING SOMEBODY."
116
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,612
WHAT?
117
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:47,448
CHAPTER ONE--WHITE TEETH.
118
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,483
CHAPTER TWO--WORKING OUT.
119
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:52,486
CHAPTER THREE--THE NASTY.
120
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,556
HE'S JUST TRYING
TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF HIMSELF.
121
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,425
OH, LYNETTE.
122
00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:59,693
I EXPECT YOU TO BE NAIVE ABOUT
HAIR, MAKEUP, AND FASHION,
123
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,529
BUT ABOUT THIS?
124
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,465
TRUST ME.
TOM HAS HOOKED UP.
125
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,634
HE'S NOT. HE'S NOT.
IF HE WAS...
126
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,502
DATING SOMEONE,
127
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:10,471
HE WOULD TELL ME.
128
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,641
HE WOULD.
129
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,478
RIGHT?
130
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:38,532
THAT DOESN'T LOOK
TOO SUSPICIOUS.
(gasps) OH.
131
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:40,568
I'M SORRY. JUST--
EVERY TIME I CHECK THE MAIL,
132
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,203
I'M AFRAID IT'S GONNA BE
ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE LETTERS.
133
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,573
IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS.
MAYBE WE'RE OUT OF THE WOODS.
134
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,140
PLEASE DON'T SAY "WOODS."
135
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,142
I'M JUST SAYING, IF SOMEONE
WAS TRYING TO BLACKMAIL US,
136
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:50,143
THEY'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT IT,
137
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,212
SINCE THEY HAVEN'T ASKED
FOR MONEY OR ANYTHING.
138
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,483
WELL, WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?
DID THEY JUST DISAPPEAR?
139
00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:56,650
IF WE'RE LUCKY.
140
00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,586
NOW THAT CHUCK THE COP
IS OUT OF YOUR LIFE,
141
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,488
SUSAN'S ACTING NORMAL,
142
00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:02,490
I THINK WE'RE IN THE CLEAR.
143
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,491
(horn honks)
144
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:06,159
OH, GOOD. HERE THEY ARE. HMM.
145
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:09,497
OH, DANIELLE AND BENJAMIN.
146
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,231
FUN. WHAT'S THE OCCASION?
147
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,566
HER HUSBAND LEFT HER.
148
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,602
UGH. OKAY.
WELL, I'D STAY AND SAY HI,
149
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:18,606
BUT THAT WOULD INVOLVE A LOT
OF LISTENING AND SAD NODDING.
150
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,543
OH, HONEY, I AM SO SORRY
ABOUT YOU AND LEO.
151
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,144
THANKS, MOM.
152
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,579
NOT THAT I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING.
153
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,515
THAT DIDN'T TAKE LONG.
154
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:28,616
NEITHER DID THE MARRIAGE.
155
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,218
SO HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP?
156
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:34,154
MY HUSBAND LEFT ME.
IT SUCKS.
157
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,156
BUT YOU KNOW HOW
THAT FEELS.
158
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,626
YOU JUST GOT DUMPED
BY THAT COP, RIGHT?
159
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,128
UM...
160
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,230
ACTUALLY, I AM THE ONE
WHO ENDED IT WITH CHUCK.
161
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:46,266
HE WANTED TO MARRY ME,
BOUGHT ME A RING,
162
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,268
BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
163
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,571
THIS WEEK...
164
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,574
OR WEEKS IS ABOUT YOU.
165
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,544
WE ARE GONNA MAKE A PLAN
TO PUT YOUR LIFE BACK TOGETHER.
166
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:59,146
A PLAN?
MOM, THIS ALL JUST HAPPENED.
167
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,282
GIVE ME A FEW DAYS
TO EAT ICE CREAM AND VEG OUT.
168
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,285
OF COURSE, HONEY. I PROMISED
YOU ON YOUR WEDDING DAY
169
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,155
THAT I WOULD BE HERE
WHEN HE LEFT YOU.
170
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,257
YOU KNOW WHAT?
171
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,259
MAYBE WE'LL JUST CRASH
ON ANDREW'S FLOOR.
172
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,227
WHAT?
THAT'S SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
173
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:17,565
NOT AS BAD AS STAYING HERE
AND GETTING PICKED APART BY YOU.
174
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:21,301
I PROMISE
I WON'T CRITICIZE YOU.
175
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,571
BESIDES, IF YOU SLEEP
ON ANDREW'S FLOOR,
176
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:25,205
YOU'LL NEED A TETANUS SHOT.
177
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,609
WHAT? I SAID
I WOULDN'T CRITICIZE YOU.
178
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,578
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.
179
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:32,613
(sighs)
180
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,158
OKAY, I KNOW THAT LAST NIGHT
181
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,126
I SAID YOU COULD TAKE
ALL THE TIME YOU NEED
182
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:49,196
TO WORK THROUGH
WHAT CARLOS AND I TOLD YOU,
183
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,163
BUT...
184
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:53,266
WHILE YOU'RE TAKING
ALL THE TIME YOU NEED,
185
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,069
YOU THINK YOU COULD MAYBE...
186
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,071
TELL ME
THAT YOU STILL LOVE ME?
187
00:08:58,105 --> 00:09:00,207
I MEAN...
188
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,275
IF YOU STILL LOVE ME?
189
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:08,616
(sighs) THERE IS
NOTHING YOU COULD DO
190
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:12,119
THAT WOULD MAKE ME
STOP LOVING YOU.
191
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:15,322
MIKE, IT WAS SO HARD
TO KEEP THIS FROM YOU,
192
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,324
LIKE, THE HARDEST THING
I'VE EVER DONE.
193
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:22,229
WELL, AT LEAST I UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU'VE BEEN SO DISTANT.
194
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,330
AND TO BE HONEST,
195
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,298
I'M KIND OF RELIEVED
YOU WEREN'T HAVING AN AFFAIR.
196
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:28,101
WELL, NOW THAT YOU KNOW,
197
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,303
I JUST WANT EVERYTHING
TO GO BACK TO NORMAL.
198
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:35,175
(sighs) OKAY,
BUT I HOPE YOU REALIZE
199
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,177
IT MIGHT NOT BE THAT EASY.
200
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:42,215
TAKE IT FROM A GUY
WHO'S DONE THINGS LIKE THIS.
201
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,251
THEY DON'T JUST DISAPPEAR.
202
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,154
YEAH, I KNOW THAT.
203
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:50,323
(sniffles) BUT I THINK
IF I FOCUS ON OTHER STUFF
204
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:53,193
AND MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE,
205
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,162
IT'LL BE OKAY.
206
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,229
GREAT.
207
00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,200
AND FIRST STEP?
208
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,302
I'M TAKING A PAINTING CLASS
AT THE COLLEGE.
209
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:05,172
IT'S BEING TAUGHT
BY ANDRE ZELLER.
210
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:09,109
OKAY,
THAT MEANS NOTHING TO YOU.
211
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,211
IT'S LIKE I'M TAKING
A FOOTBALL CLASS
212
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,180
FROM PEYTON MANNING.
213
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,214
WHOA.
214
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:15,282
(laughs)
215
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,050
IT'S JUST WHAT I NEED.
216
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,118
I THINK IT'LL BE A GREAT WAY
217
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,187
TO TAKE MY MIND OFF
EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED.
218
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,256
SO I'M GONNA GET
MY PORTFOLIO TOGETHER.
219
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,026
MR. ZELLER HAS TO APPROVE
ALL HIS STUDENTS.
220
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,061
NOT THAT I'M WORRIED.
221
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:30,030
OH, AND, MIKE,
222
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:33,033
FROM NOW ON, I SWEAR,
223
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,202
NO MORE SECRETS BETWEEN US.
224
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,078
IS THAT MY SCHOOL?
225
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:47,180
THE TINY, LITTLE BUILDING
WAY DOWN THERE?
226
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:50,083
IT WOULD'VE BEEN FASTER
IF WE JUST WALKED FROM HOME.
227
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:52,019
(woman) HEY.
228
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,320
FIRST TIME
IN THE "B" LOT, HUH?
229
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,157
WELCOME.
WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR?
230
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,125
(scoffs) PRACTICALLY NOTHING.
231
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,028
I LET MY KID GET OUT OF THE CAR
BY HERSELF.
232
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,230
OOH. DANA TAKE YOUR PLACARD?
233
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:06,133
YEAH, BUT I'LL GET IT BACK
IN A DAY OR TWO.
234
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,268
(laughs)
(laughs) ARE YOU KIDDING?
235
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:11,138
SHE'LL HAVE YOU IN HERE
FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.
236
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,206
WHAT? SHE CAN'T DO THAT.
237
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,075
OH, YOU WANNA BET?
238
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,244
I TOOK A CELL PHONE CALL
IN THE GREEN ZONE.
239
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,179
THAT WAS TWO MONTHS AGO.
240
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:22,082
MY KID HAD PEANUT BUTTER
CRACKERS IN HIS LUNCHBOX.
241
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,051
I'M LOOKING AT FOUR TO SIX.
242
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,185
THIS IS CRAZY.
243
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,054
NO, THIS IS DANA.
244
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,989
DANA "THE PAIN-A." PFFT!
245
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,058
DANA "YOU BETTER NOT
COMPLAIN-A." (chuckles)
246
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,160
DANA "POWER'S
DRIVING ME INSANE-A."
247
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,129
OH, MY GOD. IS THIS
WHAT THE "B" LOT DOES TO YOU?
248
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:39,199
THAT, FOUR KIDS,
AND THE FLASK IN HER PURSE.
(exhales deeply)
249
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,234
WELL, IF EVERYONE THINKS
SHE'S SUCH A PAIN-A,
250
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,136
HOW'D SHE GET THE JOB?
251
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:46,173
IT'S AN ELECTED POSITION.
WE VOTED FOR HER.
252
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:49,109
WELL, NOT ME. I DON'T VOTE.
253
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,178
ALL RIGHT,
WHEN'S THE NEXT P.T.A. MEETING?
254
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,245
THERE'S ONE THURSDAY.
255
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:56,016
OKAY. I SAY WE BAND TOGETHER,
256
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:59,019
STORM THAT MEETING, AND GO
ALL "BRAVEHEART" ON DANA'S ASS.
257
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,187
WHO'S WITH ME?
258
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,224
YOU GUYS NOT SEEN "BRAVEHEART"?
259
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:08,095
I KNOW IT'S AN OLD REFERENCE,
BUT THIS IS WHEN YOU GO, "YEAH!"
260
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:10,063
(women, flatly) YEAH.
261
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,098
OH, GOD. COME ON.
262
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:14,001
IF EVERY FED-UP MOM
IN THIS "B" LOT SHOWS UP,
263
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,169
WE CAN BREAK OUR SHACKLES,
GET OUR PLACARDS BACK.
264
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,138
WE CAN--OH! THE MOVIE "300."
265
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,974
(imitates Gerard Butler
as Leonidas) THIS IS SPARTA!
266
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,209
(normal voice)
YOU'VE SEEN THAT, RIGHT?
267
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,011
(women) YEAH!
268
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:26,279
OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU LADIES
THURSDAY.
269
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:37,257
MM-HMM.
270
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,092
THIS IS EXCELLENT WORK.
271
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:42,162
THANK YOU, MR. ZELLER.
272
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,197
NOW I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING--
273
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:47,367
WHY DOES A PROFESSIONAL ARTIST
WHO CAN DO THIS
274
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,302
WANT TO TAKE A PAINTING CLASS?
275
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:51,304
(chuckles)
THAT IS WHAT I'M THINKING.
276
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:54,307
WELL, MAINLY BECAUSE
I'M A HUGE FAN OF YOUR WORK.
277
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:57,344
THAT SERIES YOU DID
BASED ON DANTE'S "INFERNO,"
278
00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:01,281
THE ONE WITH THE GUY CHEWING
THE OTHER GUY'S HEAD OFF--
279
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,250
I WISH I COULD PAINT
LIKE THAT.
280
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,085
YOU'RE VERY KIND,
281
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,386
BUT THEN AGAIN, LOOK WHAT
YOU'VE DONE WITH THESE BUNNIES.
282
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,321
UM, DO YOU START
WITH WATERCOLOR
283
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,223
AND THEN OUTLINE
WITH RAPIDOGRAPH...
284
00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:12,225
ACTUALLY,
IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
285
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,294
I HAVE A VERY STEADY HAND.
286
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,195
WELL, CLEARLY.
287
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,297
(chuckles)
MY COMPLIMENTS, MS. DELFINO.
288
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,299
TECHNICALLY,
THIS IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.
289
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:22,169
OH, THANK YOU.
290
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,237
SO...
291
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:26,139
OBVIOUSLY, I'M IN.
292
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,408
NO. OBVIOUSLY, YOU'RE OUT.
293
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,212
WHAT?
294
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:34,181
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
YOU'RE A FINE ILLUSTRATOR,
295
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:36,283
BUT THIS ISN'T
WHAT I CALL ART.
296
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,186
EXCUSE ME, BUT MY PAINTINGS
HAVE BEEN IN DOZENS OF BOOKS,
297
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,154
SOME OF THEM BESTSELLERS.
298
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:45,092
PERHAPS YOU'VE HEARD
OF "DOCTOR PORCUPINE"?
299
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,327
HE HAS A VERY PRICKLY
BEDSIDE MANNER. (chuckles)
300
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,130
RIGHT. BUT SEE,
WHEN YOU SAY "ART,"
301
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,065
YOU MEAN A HEDGEHOG
WITH A STETHOSCOPE,
302
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:54,134
AND TO ME, ART MEANS
REACHING DOWN YOUR THROAT,
303
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,270
TEARING YOUR GUTS OUT,
AND SMEARING IT ALL OVER CANVAS.
304
00:13:57,304 --> 00:14:01,108
ANGER, PASSION--
THAT'S WHAT INTERESTS ME.
305
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,242
WELL, UH,
306
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:05,212
"DOCTOR PORCUPINE LOSES
A PATIENT AND KILLS A HOOKER"
307
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,247
DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME RING
TO IT.
308
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,083
I'M LOOKING FOR SERIOUS STUDENTS
OF THE MEDIUM.
309
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:12,085
YOU'RE A BORED HOUSEWIFE
TRYING TO KILL TIME
310
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:15,188
BETWEEN SPIN CLASS AND DRIVING
YOUR KID TO SOCCER PRACTICE.
311
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,057
HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
312
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,292
UM, JUST BECAUSE
I'VE DONE CHILDREN'S BOOKS
313
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,261
DOESN'T MEAN
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ELSE.
314
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,296
REALLY? DO YOU HAVE ANY WORK
315
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,298
THAT REFLECTS
WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT?
316
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:29,102
OF COURSE I DO.
317
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,171
I'LL BRING IT IN TOMORROW.
318
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:37,044
I WOULD BRING IT IN NOW,
BUT I HAVE TO PICK UP MY SON...
319
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,245
FROM PRISON.
320
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:41,248
(door opens and closes)
321
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:44,084
(man)
IN 1985, MUSICIAN BOB GELDOF
322
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,186
ORGANIZED A BENEFIT CONCERT
TO FIGHT FAMINE IN...
323
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,320
THERE YOU ARE.
324
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,322
THOUGH I DON'T KNOW
WHY I'M SURPRISED.
325
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,224
IT'S WHERE YOU'VE BEEN
THE LAST THREE DAYS.
326
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,293
GUATEMALA. IT'S GUATEMALA!
327
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,262
(woman) ETHIOPIA.
LOSER.
328
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:58,999
(man) ETHIOPIA IS CORRECT!
CONGRATULATIONS.
329
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,168
(turns off TV)
WELL, GIVEN THAT YOU
330
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:04,271
WON'T BE MAKING YOUR FORTUNE
OFF GAME SHOWS,
331
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:07,140
PERHAPS IT'S TIME WE HAD
THAT TALK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE.
332
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,076
MOM, I'M STILL HEALING.
333
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,143
MY MARRIAGE FELL APART.
334
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:13,046
YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE,
SHOULD KNOW HOW THAT FEELS.
335
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,115
YES, AND I SAT
IN THAT SAME CHAIR "HEALING"
336
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:18,051
AND EVENTUALLY TURNED
INTO A RAGING ALCOHOLIC.
337
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:19,186
OH, MAN.
338
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,154
WINE SOUNDS REALLY GOOD
RIGHT NOW.
339
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,290
WE SHOULD GET A BOTTLE.
340
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,258
WHAT, YOU CAN'T
EVEN HAVE A SIP?
341
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,227
NO! NOW YOU NEED
TO THINK ABOUT
342
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,063
PUTTING YOUR LIFE BACK TOGETHER,
GETTING A JOB.
343
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,065
YOU HAVE A SON TO CONSIDER.
344
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,234
OH, JEEZ.
345
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,170
(singsongy) I FOUND YOU!
346
00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:40,073
NOW GO HIDE,
AND WE'LL PLAY AGAIN!
347
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:44,277
ONE, TWO, THREE...
348
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,113
OKAY, THERE IS SOMETHING
349
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:47,214
I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT DOING.
350
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,182
OH. WHAT JOB?
351
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:51,184
RETAIL? WAITRESSING?
352
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:54,154
BETTER. MY OWN BUSINESS.
353
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,289
I DESIGNED
THIS EXERCISE EQUIPMENT,
354
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:59,026
AND I THINK I COULD SELL IT
ON THE INTERNET.
355
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,160
(chuckles)
356
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:03,030
DANIELLE, WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT STARTING A BUSINESS?
357
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,765
I ALREADY HAVE THE DESIGN,
AND I WROTE UP A BUSINESS PLAN.
358
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,234
I THINK IT COULD REALLY WORK.
359
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:10,770
ALL I NEED IS A LITTLE
SEED MONEY. SAY $5,000?
360
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,172
$5,000?
361
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,106
WELL, I NEED THE SUPPLIES,
362
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:17,210
AND I HAVE TO RENT A PLACE
TO WORK OUT OF.
363
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:21,114
I WILL GIVE YOU $500, AND YOU
CAN USE THE TEST KITCHEN.
364
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,783
SERIOUSLY?
365
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,219
MOM, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THIS MEANS A LOT TO ME.
366
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:29,056
WELL, I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
367
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:32,059
YOU ARE SETTING A WONDERFUL
EXAMPLE FOR BENJAMIN.
368
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,227
OH, CRAP.
369
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,263
READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!
370
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,068
HEY.
371
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,170
SORRY I'M LATE.
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
372
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,138
IF I HAVE MY LUNCH
WHILE WE GO OVER OUR SCHEDULES.
373
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,739
THAT'S LUNCH?
374
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:48,141
PROTEIN SHAKE.
375
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:52,079
JUST TRYING TO STAY, UH,
LEAN AND MEAN.
376
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,780
I DID THAT ONCE.
377
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,815
ALL I GOT WAS MEAN.
378
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,119
HEY, I HAD TO MOVE MY MEETING
TO WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON.
379
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,753
THINK YOU CAN PICK UP
THE KIDS?
380
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,789
I'LL COVER PENNY'S ORTHODONTIST
ON FRIDAY.
381
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:06,093
SURE. AND SATURDAY,
PARKER HAS THAT BIRTHDAY.
382
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,327
SINCE THAT'S YOUR DAY,
383
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,163
YOU CAN HAVE HIM LONGER
ON SUNDAY, IF YOU WANT.
384
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:11,798
GREAT. YEAH.
385
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,100
OKAY.
386
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,202
THAT IS EVERYTHING ON MY END.
YOU?
387
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:19,106
UM, I HEARD BACK
FROM THAT COUPLES COUNSELOR.
388
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:22,742
SHE CAN SQUEEZE US IN
THURSDAY AT 6:00.
389
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:26,746
I MEAN, IF YOU STILL WANT
TO GO TO THERAPY.
390
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:27,847
ABSOLUTELY.
391
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,216
OH.
392
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,818
I CAN MAKE THURSDAY WORK.
393
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:34,787
GOOD.
I'LL BOOK THE APPOINTMENT.
394
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,189
(cell phone rings, beep)
395
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:39,126
HELLO?
396
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:40,160
HEY.
397
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:45,132
Y--HEY,
CAN I CALL YOU BACK?
398
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,169
OKAY. O-OKAY.
HOLD--HOLD ON A SEC.
399
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,171
UM, THIS IS A WORK THING.
400
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,173
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
YOU NEED FROM ME?
401
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,175
UH, NO.
402
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,776
OKAY. OKAY.
403
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,779
I WILL... SEE YOU THURSDAY.
404
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,148
OKAY.
405
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:06,819
HEY, SORRY ABOUT THAT.
I, UH, I WAS IN...
406
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:15,395
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, JILL.
407
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,297
FOR BACK TO SCHOOL NIGHT
APPETIZERS,
408
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:20,267
YOU'RE SUGGESTING PRETZELS?
WHAT ARE WE, A PUBLIC SCHOOL?
409
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,601
(laughter)
410
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:25,238
(lowered voice) HEY. SORRY.
HEY.
411
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:27,707
DID YOU GUYS KNOW THERE WAS
AN A.A. MEETING IN THE GYM?
412
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,309
I SAT THROUGH FIVE
"I LEFT MY KID IN THE CAR
413
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,743
WHILE DRINKING" STORIES
414
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,745
BEFORE I REALIZED
I WAS IN THE WRONG PLACE.
415
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:33,780
DOUGHNUT?
416
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,249
(Dana clears throat)
417
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,251
GABRIELLE SOLIS.
418
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:41,321
WHAT BRINGS YOU TO
YOUR FIRST EVER P.T.A. MEETING?
419
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:47,327
SAME THING THAT BROUGHT
OUR FOUNDING FATHERS TO...
420
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,795
WHEREVER THEY WENT
421
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:51,364
WHEN ALL THAT CRAP HAPPENED
WITH ENGLAND--FREEDOM.
422
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,366
FREEDOM?
423
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,801
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
424
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,337
FREEDOM TO OPPOSE
AN UNJUST RULER
425
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,772
AND HER UNJUST
PLACARD-STEALING WAYS.
426
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,709
WE ARE HERE TO TELL YOU
YOUR REIGN OF TERROR IS OVER.
427
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,244
RIGHT, GIRLS?
428
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,281
GUYS, COME ON!
429
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:11,251
MELISSA, HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN
430
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:14,221
ABOUT THE BLOOD BLISTER YOU GOT
HIKING FROM THE "B" LOT?
431
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:16,789
AND YOU... OTHER WOMAN,
432
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,791
YOU WERE 20 MINUTES LATE
TO YOUR MANICURE.
433
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,327
SHOW 'EM YOUR HANDS.
434
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:25,232
THIS CAN'T GO ON.
435
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:26,699
SHE'S RIGHT.
436
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:29,269
YEAH. TELL HER, GABY.
437
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,671
ACCORDING
TO YOUR SACRED RULE BOOK,
438
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,673
WHICH, BY THE WAY,
IS A SNORE FEST,
439
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:36,309
A GROUP OF FIVE PARENTS
CAN SEEK A VOTE OF NO CONFIDENCE
440
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,245
IN A PRESIDENT.
441
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:44,684
SO... I GUESS WE'LL BE
TAKING THAT VOTE NOW.
442
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:47,754
MELISSA, RACHEL...
443
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,756
YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
444
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:55,595
(gasps)
445
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:58,298
(whispers) NO.
IT'S AN OBVIOUS BRIBE.
446
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:00,733
WELL, IT WORKED.
YEAH.
447
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,335
WHAT?
448
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,644
GUESS WE WON'T BE HAVING
THAT VOTE AFTER ALL.
449
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,247
SO WHAT?
WHAT MORE CAN YOU DO TO ME?
450
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:16,749
I ALREADY PARK
IN THE "B" LOT.
451
00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:30,830
NICE, MOM.
452
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:37,670
(buzzing)
453
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,740
(singsongy) HELLO!
454
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:44,644
MOM. I, UH, I ASKED YOU
NOT TO COME IN HERE.
455
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:45,978
I AM NOT STAYING.
I JUST THOUGHT
456
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:49,649
MY LITTLE ENTREPRENEURS
COULD USE SOME LEMONADE.
457
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:51,784
SO...
458
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:55,021
THIS IS IT,
THE BIG INTERNET START-UP.
459
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:56,956
YES,
AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
460
00:20:56,989 --> 00:21:00,993
AS SOON AS WE PUT UP THE SITE,
THEY STARTED SELLING LIKE CRAZY.
461
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,662
OVER 200 OF 'EM.
462
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:05,031
WELL, I STAND CORRECTED.
GOOD FOR YOU.
463
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:08,735
SO HOW EXACTLY DOES
THIS EXERCISE EQUIPMENT WORK?
464
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,638
UH, WELL, IT KIND OF
INCORPORATES PILATES
465
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,039
AND STRETCHING.
466
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:16,042
IT'S REALLY MORE
FOR SERIOUS ATHLETES.
467
00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:18,978
(telephone ringing)
THAT MIGHT BE ANOTHER ORDER.
I SHOULD GET THAT.
468
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:21,614
BUT COULD YOU TAKE BENJAMIN
TO GO GET SOME LUNCH?
469
00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:23,650
OF COURSE. BENJY.
470
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,720
(ring, beep)
471
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:28,921
(door closes)
472
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,623
HELLO. X-STASY SEX SWING.
473
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,959
WE PUT THE SWING
BACK IN YOUR SEX LIFE.
474
00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:35,027
YES, IT CAN SUPPORT
UP TO 300 POUNDS.
475
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:36,963
AND WE GUARANTEE
MAXIMUM PLEASURE
476
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:39,632
FOR YOU AND YOUR PARTNER.
477
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,936
READY?
478
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:45,605
* TA-DA
479
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:46,906
IS THIS FOR ME?
480
00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:48,941
UNLESS YOU KNOW
ANOTHER PENNY SCAVO
481
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:51,711
WITH AN INCREDIBLY
GENEROUS MOM.
482
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:53,746
LOOK, IT EVEN HAS A CAMERA.
483
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:55,615
COOL!
484
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:56,983
BUT MY BIRTHDAY WAS
LAST MONTH.
485
00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:59,919
I KNOW, BUT THIS WAY,
WHEN YOU'RE AT YOUR DAD'S,
486
00:21:59,952 --> 00:22:01,654
WE CAN VIDEO CHAT,
487
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:03,690
LIKE, WHEN YOU NEED HELP
WITH HOMEWORK
488
00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:05,992
OR YOU'VE BEEN HAVING TROUBLE
WITH MATH.
489
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,059
NO, I HAVEN'T.
490
00:22:07,093 --> 00:22:09,962
WELL, YOU MIGHT.
SO... BRING IT.
491
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:11,664
OKAY?
492
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:15,602
(tablet chirps)
493
00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:21,608
Hey, sweetie.
Long time no see.
494
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:24,010
Mom, you just dropped me off.
495
00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:25,978
REALLY? IT FEELS LIKE FOREVER.
496
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:28,915
The gum you gave me in the car
still has flavor.
497
00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:30,583
WELL, I MISS YOU.
498
00:22:30,617 --> 00:22:32,585
Actually, since you called,
499
00:22:32,619 --> 00:22:34,587
we're multiplying
mixed fractions,
500
00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:36,723
and I'm kind of--
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
CAN YOU MOVE YOUR HEAD?
501
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:39,959
Uh, sure.
502
00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:41,894
So do I need
a common denominator?
503
00:22:41,928 --> 00:22:43,696
HONEY, THE SUN'S
CREATING A GLARE.
504
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:46,566
WOULD YOU MIND TURNING
YOUR SCREEN JUST A SCOOCH?
505
00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:47,867
Okay.
506
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,035
OOH.
507
00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:51,938
(chuckles)
DAD'S NEW PLACE LOOKS NICE.
508
00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:53,606
Yeah, it is.
509
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,708
HEY! YOU KNOW
WHAT MIGHT BE FUN?
510
00:22:55,742 --> 00:22:58,611
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME
A TOUR?
511
00:22:58,645 --> 00:23:01,648
JUST TURN YOUR TABLET AROUND
AND SCAN THE ROOM.
512
00:23:01,681 --> 00:23:03,883
(sighs)
513
00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:06,886
Oh, big-screen TV.
514
00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:09,856
There's a 9.0
on the predictability scale.
515
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:14,594
EMPTY PIZZA BOX, DIRTY PLATE,
DIRTY GLASS.
516
00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:17,530
It's nice he's kept
the same decorating scheme.
517
00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:18,931
MY ARMS ARE GETTING TIRED.
518
00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:22,535
Little longer.
Think light thoughts.
519
00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:23,870
STOP. GO BACK.
520
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:27,907
I WANT TO SEE YOUR DAD'S
NEW LOVELY... CURTAINS.
521
00:23:27,940 --> 00:23:30,543
(both speaking inaudibly)
522
00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:31,944
WOW.
523
00:23:31,978 --> 00:23:33,613
THEY'RE NICE.
524
00:23:33,646 --> 00:23:35,648
BUT THEY SEEM A LITTLE YOUNG
FOR HIM.
525
00:23:38,551 --> 00:23:39,852
WHO IS THAT?
526
00:23:39,886 --> 00:23:40,853
THAT'S CHLOE.
527
00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:43,623
SHE LIVES IN THE BUILDING.
SHE'S REALLY NICE.
528
00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:44,624
(scoffs)
529
00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:47,960
APPARENTLY.
530
00:23:47,994 --> 00:23:51,564
SO... IS CHLOE AROUND A LOT?
531
00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:52,899
Sometimes.
532
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,901
She teaches
a Booty Burn Ballet class,
533
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:57,937
so she's mostly
at the fitness center.
534
00:23:57,970 --> 00:24:00,840
Hey, Mom.
Dad's got black toilets.
535
00:24:00,873 --> 00:24:01,941
You wanna see them?
536
00:24:01,974 --> 00:24:04,611
NO, THANKS.
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.
537
00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:06,913
Okay. So when I multiply
these fractions--
538
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:09,616
OKAY, SWEETIE, I LOVE YOU.
539
00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:19,158
OH, THAT'S DIFFERENT.
MM-HMM.
540
00:24:19,191 --> 00:24:21,060
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO YOU?
541
00:24:21,093 --> 00:24:24,997
LONELINESS, ISOLATION,
542
00:24:25,031 --> 00:24:29,035
NOT LONG AGO, THIS TREE WAS
LUSH AND GREEN,
543
00:24:29,068 --> 00:24:31,871
BUT NOW IT'S, UH,
LOST ITS LEAVES,
544
00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:35,107
AND WINTER'S AHEAD.
545
00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:38,110
AND IT'S JUST DOING
WHAT IT CAN TO SURVIVE.
546
00:24:41,914 --> 00:24:45,017
SO LET ME GUESS--
YOU'RE THE TREE.
547
00:24:48,020 --> 00:24:49,956
OH, OKAY.
548
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:53,059
YOU'RE... MOCKING ME AGAIN.
549
00:24:53,092 --> 00:24:54,927
WELL, GOOD-BYE.
550
00:24:54,961 --> 00:24:57,063
HOLD ON. WE'RE HAVING
AN ARTISTIC DIALOGUE HERE.
551
00:24:57,096 --> 00:24:59,031
I BET YOUR NIGHT
WENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS--
552
00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:01,033
YOU WENT HOME
AND ASKED YOURSELF,
553
00:25:01,067 --> 00:25:03,870
"HOW DO I PROVE TO ANDRE ZELLER
THAT I'M DEEP?"
554
00:25:03,903 --> 00:25:05,071
(thud)
555
00:25:05,104 --> 00:25:07,073
SO YOU DUG DOWN
THROUGH THE CUPCAKES
556
00:25:07,106 --> 00:25:08,908
AND THE THROW PILLOWS
557
00:25:08,941 --> 00:25:10,843
AND THE ONCE-A-WEEK SEX
OF YOUR LIFE
558
00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:12,011
TO YOUR VERY CORE,
559
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:15,915
AND YOU FOUND
THIS SAD LITTLE TREE.
560
00:25:15,948 --> 00:25:17,149
"AND IT'S SO PROFOUND
561
00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:19,852
"BECAUSE THE TREE'S LONELY,
JUST LIKE I AM
562
00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:22,121
NOW THAT 'OPRAH'S'
OFF THE AIR ."
563
00:25:24,991 --> 00:25:26,859
HOW DARE YOU.
564
00:25:26,893 --> 00:25:28,895
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT ME.
565
00:25:28,928 --> 00:25:30,997
WHAT'S TO KNOW?
YOU'RE SHALLOW,
566
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:32,965
AND YOUR WORK IS SHALLOW,
AND GOD BLESS,
567
00:25:32,999 --> 00:25:35,134
BECAUSE IF I HAD YOUR LIFE,
I'D BE PAINTING BUNNIES, TOO.
568
00:25:35,167 --> 00:25:37,036
YOU WANT EVERYTHING
TO BE NICE AND PRETTY.
569
00:25:37,069 --> 00:25:39,872
YOU'RE AFRAID OF UGLY.
570
00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:42,008
YOU--YOU THINK
I'M AFRAID OF UGLY?
571
00:25:46,078 --> 00:25:47,847
YOU WANT UGLY?
572
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:48,881
(cap clatters)
573
00:25:48,915 --> 00:25:50,082
THERE.
574
00:25:50,116 --> 00:25:52,018
THERE'S SOME UGLY FOR YOU.
575
00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:54,020
YOU WANT PASSION?
576
00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:56,022
WELL, HERE YOU GO.
THERE'S PASSION.
577
00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:58,858
PASSION ALL OVER THE PLACE.
578
00:25:58,891 --> 00:26:01,861
YOU KNOW, I AM NOT
SOME SHALLOW SOCCER MOM.
579
00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:03,029
I HAVE DONE THINGS
THAT YOU CAN'T BELIEVE.
580
00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:05,865
I HAVE ANGER!
581
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:07,900
AND I HAVE PAIN!
582
00:26:09,869 --> 00:26:12,939
I HAVE SECRETS IN ME
THAT I WISH...
583
00:26:12,972 --> 00:26:15,107
I COULD GET RID OF,
AND I CAN'T!
584
00:26:15,141 --> 00:26:18,811
(pants)
585
00:26:18,845 --> 00:26:21,948
IT'S FINE. YOU KNOW, YOU--YOU'VE
MADE YOUR MIND UP ABOUT ME.
586
00:26:21,981 --> 00:26:25,885
SO SCREW YOUR CLASS,
SCREW YOUR MEDIUM.
587
00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:28,054
SCREW YOU!
588
00:26:51,811 --> 00:26:53,012
WOW.
589
00:27:05,825 --> 00:27:07,059
AH, THERE YOU ARE.
590
00:27:07,093 --> 00:27:09,962
HEY, DO YOU HAVE
A RECIPE FOR...
591
00:27:09,996 --> 00:27:11,030
OH.
592
00:27:11,063 --> 00:27:12,999
CONGRATULATIONS.
593
00:27:13,032 --> 00:27:15,367
FOR WHAT?
594
00:27:15,401 --> 00:27:18,370
WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
AND CHUCK WERE BACK TOGETHER.
595
00:27:18,404 --> 00:27:20,372
WE'RE NOT.
596
00:27:20,406 --> 00:27:23,309
WELL, THEN WHY ARE
YOU WEARING A SEX SWING?
597
00:27:23,342 --> 00:27:24,343
A WHAT?
598
00:27:26,345 --> 00:27:29,315
OH, NO. THIS IS, UH,
DANIELLE'S NEW BUSINESS.
599
00:27:29,348 --> 00:27:32,719
SHE'S MAKING
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT.
600
00:27:32,752 --> 00:27:34,320
UH, YEAH,
601
00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:38,357
FOR A VERY SPECIFIC KIND
OF EXERCISE.
602
00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:40,459
(gasps)
603
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:44,263
SEX SWING?
604
00:27:44,296 --> 00:27:47,333
I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD
OF SUCH A THING.
605
00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:54,340
NOW DON'T TRY THIS ONE
IF YOU GET DIZZY EASILY.
606
00:27:54,373 --> 00:27:55,341
OH!
607
00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:56,743
(Danielle) MOM?
608
00:27:56,743 --> 00:27:58,745
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT?
609
00:27:58,745 --> 00:28:02,314
WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS,
YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!
610
00:28:02,348 --> 00:28:05,317
I'LL WRITE YOU A CHECK LATER.
611
00:28:05,351 --> 00:28:07,286
A SEX SWING
IN MY TEST KITCHEN?
612
00:28:07,319 --> 00:28:10,422
DO YOU REALIZE I USED TO MAKE
PEOPLE WEAR HAIRNETS IN HERE?
613
00:28:10,456 --> 00:28:14,360
DANIELLE, I AM
VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.
614
00:28:14,393 --> 00:28:16,328
GOSH, WHERE HAVE
I HEARD THAT BEFORE?
615
00:28:16,362 --> 00:28:19,265
OH, DON'T YOU TRY
TO TURN THIS AROUND ON ME!
616
00:28:19,298 --> 00:28:21,267
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,
617
00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:23,469
I FOUND SOMETHING THAT I'M
GOOD AT AND THAT'S SUCCESSFUL,
618
00:28:23,502 --> 00:28:25,504
AND THAT'S STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH
FOR YOU!
619
00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:29,375
YOU JUST LIVE TO JUDGE ME.
620
00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:31,243
DANIELLE.
621
00:28:31,277 --> 00:28:32,444
DANIELLE,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!
622
00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:35,347
(door closes)
623
00:28:35,381 --> 00:28:38,317
NO, I'M TELLING YOU.
IT WAS BAD.
624
00:28:38,350 --> 00:28:40,319
ANDRE PROBABLY CALLED
THE LOONEY BIN,
625
00:28:40,352 --> 00:28:43,289
AND THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY HERE
RIGHT NOW WITH A BUTTERFLY NET.
626
00:28:43,322 --> 00:28:44,390
IT'S OKAY, BABE.
627
00:28:44,423 --> 00:28:47,326
NO, IT'S NOT.
I JUST RAN OUT OF THERE.
628
00:28:47,359 --> 00:28:50,496
I-I-I FORGOT MY PORTFOLIO.
629
00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:52,498
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL
CAME OVER ME.
630
00:28:52,531 --> 00:28:55,467
SUSAN...
631
00:28:55,501 --> 00:28:57,469
I KNOW HOW BADLY YOU WANT
632
00:28:57,503 --> 00:28:59,471
WHAT HAPPENED IN THE WOODS
TO GO AWAY,
633
00:28:59,505 --> 00:29:01,507
BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU
THE TRUTH.
634
00:29:01,540 --> 00:29:03,375
IT'S NOT GOING TO.
635
00:29:03,409 --> 00:29:05,244
IT'S PART OF YOU.
636
00:29:05,277 --> 00:29:07,246
NO.
637
00:29:07,279 --> 00:29:08,480
N--MNH.
638
00:29:08,514 --> 00:29:10,482
I-I DON'T WANT IT TO BE.
639
00:29:10,516 --> 00:29:12,484
I DON'T WANT IT TO BE EITHER,
640
00:29:12,518 --> 00:29:14,353
JUST LIKE I DON'T WANT
MY DARK STUFF TO BE PART OF ME,
641
00:29:14,386 --> 00:29:17,223
BUT IT IS.
642
00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:19,491
(crying) MIKE, PLEASE.
PLEASE STOP SAYING THIS.
643
00:29:19,525 --> 00:29:23,395
I'M TRYING TO PROTECT YOU.
644
00:29:23,429 --> 00:29:28,367
IF YOU CAN ACCEPT THIS
AS PART OF YOU,
645
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:32,304
MAYBE YOU CAN FIGURE OUT
HOW TO LIVE WITH IT.
646
00:29:32,338 --> 00:29:35,307
BUT IF YOU DON'T,
647
00:29:35,341 --> 00:29:38,344
THAT'S WHEN IT JUMPS OUT
WITHOUT WARNING.
648
00:29:40,279 --> 00:29:42,448
AND TRUST ME,
649
00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:45,317
THAT'S A BAD WAY TO LIVE.
650
00:29:52,324 --> 00:29:54,293
SO...
651
00:29:54,326 --> 00:29:57,263
THINGS ARE NEVER GONNA BE
THE WAY THEY WERE?
652
00:29:57,296 --> 00:30:00,232
THINGS...
653
00:30:00,266 --> 00:30:03,202
ARE HOW THEY ARE.
654
00:30:07,406 --> 00:30:08,407
YOU OKAY?
655
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,177
(M.J.) MOMMY, WILL YOU CHECK
MY MATH WORKSHEET?
656
00:30:11,210 --> 00:30:13,245
IT'S REALLY HARD.
657
00:30:15,247 --> 00:30:17,349
SURE. SURE, HONEY.
658
00:30:26,458 --> 00:30:28,394
(exhales deeply)
659
00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:37,870
IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING
HOW I GOT HERE,
660
00:30:37,904 --> 00:30:41,140
THE U.P.S. MAN HEARD MY CRIES
AND CUT ME DOWN.
661
00:30:41,173 --> 00:30:44,643
SUFFICE IT TO SAY,
WE'RE FedEx PEOPLE NOW.
662
00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:47,246
LOOK, I KNOW YOU THINK
THAT I AM JUDGMENTAL.
663
00:30:47,279 --> 00:30:49,215
THINK?
664
00:30:49,248 --> 00:30:51,183
"DANIELLE, YOU SHOULD'VE
GONE TO COLLEGE."
665
00:30:51,217 --> 00:30:53,285
"DANIELLE, YOU DRESS LIKE
A STREETWALKER."
666
00:30:53,319 --> 00:30:56,255
"DANIELLE, I KNEW YOUR MARRIAGE
WOULDN'T LAST."
667
00:30:56,288 --> 00:30:58,891
YEAH, A LITTLE BIT.
668
00:30:58,925 --> 00:31:02,094
WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY IS
YOU'RE RIGHT.
669
00:31:02,128 --> 00:31:04,663
WHY ARE YOU ADMITTING THIS?
670
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,632
BECAUSE I THOUGHT
ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID,
671
00:31:06,665 --> 00:31:08,634
AND I REALIZE
I AM FAR FROM PERFECT.
672
00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:11,237
I HAVE NO RIGHT
TO BE SO CRITICAL.
673
00:31:11,270 --> 00:31:14,073
OKAY,
NOW YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
674
00:31:14,106 --> 00:31:15,274
DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?
675
00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:20,679
JUST KNOW THAT
A CERTAIN RECENT... EVENT
676
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:24,650
MADE ME AWARE THAT I AM
IN NO POSITION TO JUDGE YOU
677
00:31:24,683 --> 00:31:26,618
OR ANYONE ELSE.
678
00:31:26,652 --> 00:31:28,654
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
679
00:31:28,687 --> 00:31:31,090
(sighs) IT DOESN'T MATTER.
680
00:31:31,123 --> 00:31:33,092
THE POINT IS...
681
00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:36,595
CAN YOU FORGIVE ME?
682
00:31:36,628 --> 00:31:40,132
WOW.
683
00:31:40,166 --> 00:31:43,169
THAT'S, LIKE, THE FIRST TIME
YOU'VE EVER SAID THAT.
684
00:31:45,104 --> 00:31:47,206
THANK YOU. AND...
685
00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:50,076
YES, I FORGIVE YOU.
686
00:31:50,109 --> 00:31:52,644
AND TO PROVE
THAT I AM SINCERE,
687
00:31:52,678 --> 00:31:54,613
I WOULD LIKE TO INVEST
IN YOUR BUSINESS
688
00:31:54,646 --> 00:31:56,248
AND SUPPORT YOU IN MAKING
689
00:31:56,282 --> 00:32:00,219
THOSE DISGUSTING...LY
HAPPY SWINGS.
690
00:32:00,252 --> 00:32:02,588
YOU MEAN LIKE
A SILENT PARTNER?
691
00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:04,623
A SILENT, INVISIBLE,
692
00:32:04,656 --> 00:32:07,193
AND COMPLETELY UNTRACEABLE
PARTNER
693
00:32:07,226 --> 00:32:11,030
WHO SUPPORTS YOU
FROM FAR, FAR AWAY.
694
00:32:11,063 --> 00:32:12,564
(sighs)
695
00:32:12,598 --> 00:32:14,566
I LOVE YOU, SWEETIE.
696
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,068
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
697
00:32:16,102 --> 00:32:17,069
MM!
698
00:32:17,103 --> 00:32:20,039
(sighs)
699
00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:22,141
NOW... GO PACK UP
YOUR SEX FACTORY,
700
00:32:22,174 --> 00:32:25,144
AND I WILL BAKE US
SOME COOKIES.
701
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,116
(sighs)
702
00:32:30,149 --> 00:32:33,152
YOU'RE ABOUT TO PAINT
A HUNDRED BAD PAINTINGS,
703
00:32:33,185 --> 00:32:35,121
SO LET'S GET THOSE
OUT OF THE WAY
704
00:32:35,154 --> 00:32:39,025
SO YOU CAN START PAINTING
THE GOOD ONES.
705
00:32:39,058 --> 00:32:41,093
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
706
00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:44,163
UH, I FORGOT MY PORTFOLIO.
707
00:32:44,196 --> 00:32:46,198
SIT DOWN.
708
00:32:46,232 --> 00:32:48,134
EXCUSE ME?
709
00:32:48,167 --> 00:32:49,668
SIT DOWN. YOU'RE LATE.
710
00:32:51,170 --> 00:32:53,172
UM...
711
00:32:53,205 --> 00:32:56,075
DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE
LETTING ME JOIN THE CLASS?
712
00:32:56,108 --> 00:32:58,077
FOR NOW.
713
00:32:58,110 --> 00:33:01,613
BUT THAT WOMAN WHO SHOWED UP
YESTERDAY--THE CRAZY ONE--
714
00:33:01,647 --> 00:33:04,083
SHE BETTER BE HERE
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
715
00:33:04,116 --> 00:33:06,085
OH.
716
00:33:06,118 --> 00:33:08,620
I-I DON'T KNOW
IF I LIKE THAT WOMAN.
717
00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:10,189
SHE SCARES ME.
718
00:33:10,222 --> 00:33:12,624
GOOD.
719
00:33:14,226 --> 00:33:16,595
OKAY, I WANT YOU TO START
720
00:33:16,628 --> 00:33:19,531
BY FORGETTING EVERYTHING
YOU HEARD ABOUT BRUSH TECHNIQUE.
721
00:33:19,565 --> 00:33:21,167
I'VE SEEN YOUR PAINTING.
722
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,069
EITHER YOU HEARD IT WRONG,
723
00:33:23,069 --> 00:33:25,104
OR IT WAS WRONG.
724
00:33:26,605 --> 00:33:28,207
(sighs)
725
00:33:31,243 --> 00:33:33,145
HEY.
ARE YOU READY FOR OUR WALK?
726
00:33:33,179 --> 00:33:35,081
ACTUALLY, CHANGE OF PLANS.
727
00:33:35,081 --> 00:33:36,815
I THOUGHT WE'D GO
TO THAT BOOTY BURN BALLET CLASS
728
00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:39,618
AT THE FITNESS CENTER.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
729
00:33:39,651 --> 00:33:42,154
NOTHING. CAN'T A WOMAN
JUST WANNA BURN HER BOOTY?
730
00:33:44,090 --> 00:33:46,092
FINE. I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT
ABOUT TOM SEEING SOMEONE.
731
00:33:46,092 --> 00:33:47,593
SHE'S AN AEROBICS TEACHER.
732
00:33:47,626 --> 00:33:50,829
(sighs) OF COURSE SHE IS.
CLICHE MUCH?
733
00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:53,565
SO I'M THINKING, I'LL GO
TO HER CLASS, AND I'LL--
734
00:33:53,599 --> 00:33:55,601
ACTUALLY, I-I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE HELL I'M THINKING.
735
00:33:55,634 --> 00:33:57,803
YOU'RE THINKING
YOU WANNA SPY ON THIS WOMAN
736
00:33:57,836 --> 00:33:59,805
AND SEE WHAT SHE'S LIKE,
THEN KEY HER CAR ON THE WAY OUT.
737
00:33:59,838 --> 00:34:00,806
IT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL.
738
00:34:00,839 --> 00:34:03,609
SO I'M NOT CRAZY?
I SHOULDN'T JUST BE DIRECT
739
00:34:03,642 --> 00:34:05,211
AND ASK TOM
IF HE'S SEEING SOMEONE?
740
00:34:05,244 --> 00:34:06,612
WHY? SO HE CAN LIE TO YOU
741
00:34:06,645 --> 00:34:08,814
THROUGH
HIS UNNATURALLY WHITE TEETH?
742
00:34:08,847 --> 00:34:10,182
OKAY, THEN.
743
00:34:10,216 --> 00:34:11,817
I GUESS WE'RE GOING.
744
00:34:11,850 --> 00:34:13,819
YEAH.
UH, BOOTY BURN BALLET--
745
00:34:13,852 --> 00:34:15,554
THINK WE CAN DO THIS?
746
00:34:15,587 --> 00:34:17,589
OH, PLEASE.
HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
747
00:34:17,623 --> 00:34:19,158
(dance music playing)
748
00:34:19,191 --> 00:34:21,160
AM I THE ONLY ONE
ABOUT TO PASS OUT?
749
00:34:21,193 --> 00:34:23,862
NO. I KEEP SEEING
MY DEAD GRANDFATHER
750
00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:25,597
AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL,
751
00:34:25,631 --> 00:34:27,799
SAYING
"COME TOWARD THE LIGHT."
752
00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:31,570
KEEP GOING, LADIES.
KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE THIGHS!
753
00:34:31,603 --> 00:34:34,140
DID SHE JUST USE
A CIVIL RIGHTS RALLYING CRY
754
00:34:34,140 --> 00:34:36,542
TO GET US TO LOSE ASS FAT?
755
00:34:36,575 --> 00:34:38,144
FIRST TIME, HUH?
756
00:34:38,144 --> 00:34:40,146
OH, WHAT GAVE ME AWAY?
757
00:34:40,146 --> 00:34:42,881
THE FACT THAT THIS WAS
LIGHT BLUE WHEN I CAME IN?
758
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:44,850
WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS
759
00:34:44,883 --> 00:34:46,885
IF YOU HAVE A HEART ATTACK,
I'M A DOCTOR.
760
00:34:46,918 --> 00:34:50,156
THE BAD NEWS IS
IF YOU HAVE ONE, I'M NOT.
761
00:34:50,189 --> 00:34:52,591
OKAY, SO IF I DIE,
762
00:34:52,624 --> 00:34:54,826
PLEASE PUT ME ASS UP
IN THE COFFIN.
763
00:34:54,860 --> 00:34:56,895
I'D HATE FOR ALL THIS WORK
TO GO TO WASTE.
764
00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:58,164
(groans)
(Chloe claps)
765
00:34:58,164 --> 00:34:59,531
ON YOUR FEET, LADIES.
766
00:34:59,565 --> 00:35:02,834
(panting) OKAY, WE'VE
CHECKED OUT THE COMPETITION.
767
00:35:02,868 --> 00:35:03,902
CAN WE GO NOW?
768
00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:04,903
NO.
769
00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:06,605
I WANT TO TALK TO HER.
770
00:35:06,638 --> 00:35:08,174
OKAY, EVERYBODY,
771
00:35:08,174 --> 00:35:11,543
TIME TO WORK THOSE QUADS.
772
00:35:11,577 --> 00:35:14,580
I DON'T KNOW WHO I HATE MORE
RIGHT NOW--YOU OR HER.
773
00:35:14,613 --> 00:35:15,881
50 LUNGES!
774
00:35:15,914 --> 00:35:18,550
JUMP TOWARDS
YOUR SKINNY, SKINNY FUTURE.
775
00:35:18,584 --> 00:35:20,819
AND WE HAVE A WINNER.
776
00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:26,725
HI. IT'S MRS. SOLIS.
777
00:35:26,758 --> 00:35:28,927
CAN YOU TELL SEAN I'M RUNNING
ABOUT 20 MINUTES LATE
778
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,764
FOR MY BROW-WAXING APPOINTMENT?
(shifts gears)
779
00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:34,866
WHAT?
YOU CAN'T HOLD IT FOR ME?
780
00:35:34,900 --> 00:35:38,770
BUT I'VE GOT CATERPILLARS
OVER MY EYES.
781
00:35:38,804 --> 00:35:40,772
FINE. I'LL BE THERE
IN FIVE MINUTES.
782
00:35:40,806 --> 00:35:43,509
JUANITA,
GET BACK IN THE CAR.
(door closes)
783
00:35:43,542 --> 00:35:45,777
WE'RE GOING DROP-OFF.
784
00:35:45,811 --> 00:35:47,813
(tires peal)
785
00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:50,849
(children shouting playfully)
786
00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:56,855
GABY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
787
00:35:56,888 --> 00:35:59,758
YOU CAN'T BE IN THE CARPOOL LANE
WITHOUT A PLACARD.
788
00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:01,927
DON'T GIVE A CRAP. IT'S TIME
SOMEBODY TAUGHT DANA A LESSON.
789
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,530
WE NEED TO BREAK THE BACK
OF OUR OPPRESSOR.
790
00:36:12,871 --> 00:36:15,507
(blows whistle)
MOBILIZE THE CONES!
791
00:36:20,579 --> 00:36:21,813
(tires screech)
792
00:36:21,847 --> 00:36:24,783
GET OUT, SWEETIE. GO.
GO. GO, GO, GO!
793
00:36:31,823 --> 00:36:32,891
(gasps)
794
00:36:32,924 --> 00:36:36,728
(tires screech, thud)
795
00:36:36,762 --> 00:36:38,464
(sighs)
796
00:36:38,497 --> 00:36:40,899
I'M NEVER GONNA GET
THAT EYEBROW WAX.
797
00:36:47,439 --> 00:36:50,909
AGAIN, DANA, I AM SO SORRY.
798
00:36:50,942 --> 00:36:54,280
ON THE UPSIDE,
THAT CAST IS SO SLIMMING.
799
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,882
IT'S LIKE A HARD SPANX.
800
00:36:56,915 --> 00:37:00,018
GABY, THERE'S A REASON
I ASKED TO SEE YOU.
801
00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:02,921
YOU WANTED TO GIVE ME
MY PLACARD BACK. (chuckles)
802
00:37:02,954 --> 00:37:07,326
NO. COULD YOU HAND ME
THOSE PAINKILLERS?
803
00:37:08,394 --> 00:37:10,396
I JUST WANTED TO BRING YOU
UP TO DATE
804
00:37:10,429 --> 00:37:12,364
ON SOME SCHOOL-RELATED NEWS.
805
00:37:12,398 --> 00:37:13,999
GIVEN MY CONDITION,
806
00:37:14,032 --> 00:37:16,001
THEY'VE INFORMED ME
THAT I'M NO LONGER ABLE
807
00:37:16,034 --> 00:37:18,337
TO CARRY OUT MY DUTIES
AS P.T.A. PRESIDENT.
808
00:37:18,370 --> 00:37:20,972
THAT'S A BUMMER.
809
00:37:21,006 --> 00:37:22,941
YES, IT IS.
810
00:37:24,343 --> 00:37:27,979
THE BYLAWS STATE I'M TO
APPOINT AN ACTING PRESIDENT,
811
00:37:28,013 --> 00:37:30,349
AND I'VE MADE MY DECISION.
812
00:37:30,382 --> 00:37:33,352
ME?
813
00:37:33,385 --> 00:37:34,986
WAIT. YOU HATE ME.
814
00:37:35,020 --> 00:37:35,954
VERY PERCEPTIVE.
815
00:37:35,987 --> 00:37:38,990
THAT'LL SERVE YOU WELL
AS P.T.A. PRESIDENT.
816
00:37:39,024 --> 00:37:41,327
W--OKAY, WAIT.
817
00:37:41,327 --> 00:37:42,894
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
818
00:37:42,928 --> 00:37:46,064
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I WAS LIKE
BEFORE I TOOK THIS JOB.
819
00:37:46,097 --> 00:37:47,899
I WAS FUN.
820
00:37:47,933 --> 00:37:49,368
I DRANK AT SCHOOL FUNCTIONS.
821
00:37:49,401 --> 00:37:51,970
MY BOOB FELL OUT
AT THE HOLIDAY PARTY.
822
00:37:52,003 --> 00:37:54,072
I STILL HAD A HUSBAND.
823
00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:57,008
SO WHAT TURNED YOU
INTO THIS?
824
00:37:57,042 --> 00:37:59,044
THE JOB DID. MM-HMM.
825
00:37:59,077 --> 00:38:01,847
AND IT'S GONNA DO THE SAME
TO YOU.
826
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,014
YEAH, NO TIME FOR MANICURES
827
00:38:03,048 --> 00:38:06,017
'CAUSE YOU'LL BE PLANNING
THE WINTER GALA.
828
00:38:06,051 --> 00:38:08,086
NO MORE SEEING YOUR HUSBAND
829
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:10,922
BECAUSE YOU'LL BE ORGANIZING
THE BAKE SALE.
830
00:38:10,956 --> 00:38:12,057
AND NO MORE FRIENDS,
831
00:38:12,090 --> 00:38:15,361
BECAUSE YOU'LL ALWAYS BE
HITTING THEM UP FOR SOMETHING.
832
00:38:15,361 --> 00:38:19,064
WELL, AS ATTRACTIVE AS YOUR
LITTLE REVENGE FANTASY SOUNDS,
833
00:38:19,097 --> 00:38:20,932
I'M GONNA PASS.
834
00:38:20,966 --> 00:38:24,870
THEN I GUESS I'M GONNA HAVE
TO GO AHEAD AND PRESS CHARGES.
835
00:38:24,903 --> 00:38:27,973
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
836
00:38:28,006 --> 00:38:30,041
I HAVE WITNESSES
837
00:38:30,075 --> 00:38:33,945
WHO HEARD YOU SAY YOU WERE
GOING TO BREAK MY BACK.
838
00:38:33,979 --> 00:38:36,982
(clenches teeth)
AND I DO HAVE A BROKEN BACK.
839
00:38:37,015 --> 00:38:38,049
(inhales deeply)
840
00:38:43,989 --> 00:38:47,893
SO THE WINTER GALA...
(pills rattle)
841
00:38:47,926 --> 00:38:49,961
IT'S IN THE WINTER, RIGHT?
842
00:38:49,995 --> 00:38:51,997
(cap clicks)
843
00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:53,832
THAT'S INTERESTING.
INTERESTING.
844
00:38:53,865 --> 00:38:55,834
SO REALLY,
YOU HAVE THREE CAREERS.
845
00:38:55,867 --> 00:38:58,036
YOU'RE A AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR,
AROMATHERAPIST,
846
00:38:58,069 --> 00:39:00,071
AND A LINGERIE MODEL.
847
00:39:00,105 --> 00:39:02,974
WELL, LINGERIE MODELING IS
MORE OF A HOBBY THAN A CAREER.
848
00:39:03,008 --> 00:39:04,976
OH.
BUT WHEN GOD GIVES YOU THESE...
849
00:39:05,010 --> 00:39:06,878
(chuckles) RIGHT.
850
00:39:06,912 --> 00:39:09,014
ARE YOU SURE GOD
GAVE YOU THOSE? (chuckles)
851
00:39:09,047 --> 00:39:10,816
I'M JUST KIDDING.
852
00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:12,884
I'M JUST KIDDING.
IT'S NICE TALKING TO YOU, CHLOE.
853
00:39:12,918 --> 00:39:14,019
READY TO GO?
854
00:39:14,052 --> 00:39:15,053
YES.
855
00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:16,822
SO?
856
00:39:16,855 --> 00:39:18,924
WELL, OBVIOUSLY,
I'M NOT THRILLED. LOOK AT HER.
857
00:39:18,957 --> 00:39:20,091
BUT IT COULD BE WORSE.
858
00:39:20,125 --> 00:39:21,927
HOW?
859
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:23,795
SHE COULD LOOK LIKE THAT
860
00:39:23,829 --> 00:39:24,896
AND HAVE A SINGLE THOUGHT
IN HER HEAD.
861
00:39:24,930 --> 00:39:27,799
I MEAN, THERE'S NO WAY
TOM'S EVER GONNA GET SERIOUS
862
00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:29,801
ABOUT A WOMAN LIKE THAT,
RIGHT?
863
00:39:29,835 --> 00:39:31,837
YEAH. SHE'S JUST A FLING.
MM.
864
00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:33,004
A PALATE CLEANSER.
(chuckles)
865
00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:35,006
THE SORBET YOU EAT
BETWEEN COURSES.
866
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,909
I'M REALLY SORRY
I SAID THAT.
867
00:39:37,943 --> 00:39:40,078
I GIVE THE WHOLE THING
THREE WEEKS.
868
00:39:40,111 --> 00:39:41,947
(Tom) LYNETTE?
869
00:39:43,849 --> 00:39:48,887
HEY! TOM.
WHAT'S--WHAT'S GOING ON?
870
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,989
I'LL MEET YOU AT THE CAR.
OKAY.
871
00:39:52,891 --> 00:39:54,926
WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
872
00:39:56,828 --> 00:39:57,996
I KNOW.
873
00:39:58,029 --> 00:40:00,031
KNOW WHAT?
874
00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:02,801
WH--
875
00:40:02,834 --> 00:40:05,003
OKAY. (sighs)
876
00:40:05,036 --> 00:40:07,072
WE JUST HAD DINNER
A COUPLE OF TIMES.
877
00:40:07,105 --> 00:40:09,074
THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON.
878
00:40:10,876 --> 00:40:12,010
WHATEVER.
879
00:40:13,979 --> 00:40:17,015
SO THIS IS HOW YOU'RE GONNA BE
SPENDING YOUR FREE TIME NOW,
880
00:40:17,048 --> 00:40:18,817
SPYING ON ME?
881
00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:20,819
WELL, THAT'S
A BRILLIANT STRATEGY, TOM.
882
00:40:20,852 --> 00:40:21,787
ACT LIKE I'M THE ONE
IN THE WRONG.
883
00:40:21,820 --> 00:40:23,922
YOU'RE THE ONE DATING
THE UNDERWEAR MODEL.
884
00:40:23,955 --> 00:40:26,925
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
885
00:40:28,827 --> 00:40:30,929
CHLOE? I'M NOT DATING CHLOE.
886
00:40:30,962 --> 00:40:33,832
JEEZ, LYNETTE,
GIVE ME A LITTLE CREDIT.
887
00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:35,967
THEN YOU HAVE YOU BEEN HAVING
DINNER WITH? WHY ARE YOU HERE?
888
00:40:36,001 --> 00:40:38,937
I AM PICKING UP JANE,
CHLOE'S MOM.
889
00:40:45,977 --> 00:40:48,980
LIKE I SAID, IT'S JUST
A COUPLE OF DINNERS AND COFFEE.
890
00:40:49,014 --> 00:40:50,982
OH, IT'S COFFEE NOW?
891
00:40:51,016 --> 00:40:53,952
GOD, TOM, WHEN WERE YOU
GONNA TELL ME THIS?
892
00:40:53,985 --> 00:40:56,888
THURSDAY, IN COUNSELING.
893
00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:00,892
YOU READY TO GO?
894
00:41:00,926 --> 00:41:01,960
YEAH.
895
00:41:03,829 --> 00:41:05,864
LYNETTE, WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS
THURSDAY, RIGHT?
896
00:41:05,897 --> 00:41:07,866
WHAT'S THE POINT?
897
00:41:11,002 --> 00:41:15,841
YES, WE OFTEN LEARN
OUR MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS
898
00:41:15,874 --> 00:41:20,846
OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM--
899
00:41:20,879 --> 00:41:25,917
THE PAINFUL TRUTH ABOUT
THE STATE OF A RELATIONSHIP...
900
00:41:25,951 --> 00:41:31,790
THE UGLY COST
OF CHALLENGING AUTHORITY...
901
00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:38,830
THE SAD FACT THAT LIFE'S COLORS
AREN'T ALWAYS ROSY...
902
00:41:38,864 --> 00:41:40,999
THEN THERE ARE THOSE
903
00:41:41,032 --> 00:41:45,904
WHO REFUSE TO ACCEPT
THESE IMPORTANT LESSONS.
904
00:41:45,937 --> 00:41:48,840
THEY SIMPLY WAIT FOR THE CHANCE
905
00:41:48,874 --> 00:41:51,910
TO TEACH A LESSON OF THEIR OWN.
906
00:41:55,013 --> 00:41:57,816
DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE STILL
STEWING ABOUT THAT REDHEAD.
907
00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:01,853
WELL, I'M NOT A BIG FAN
OF GETTING LED ON
908
00:42:01,887 --> 00:42:04,856
AND HUMILIATED,
SO, YEAH, I'M NOT...
909
00:42:04,890 --> 00:42:06,925
DON'T THINK I'M LETTING GO
OF THIS ONE YET.
910
00:42:06,958 --> 00:42:08,827
SUIT YOURSELF.
911
00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,929
I GOT SOME MISSING PERSON
REPORTS HERE FOR YOU.
912
00:42:10,962 --> 00:42:13,899
JUST TOSS 'EM OVER THERE.
64795
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