Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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♪♪♪
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00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:06,338
DIAMOND: Heya! It's your girls'
best friend - Diamond!
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00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:09,541
Now I know there's been a
serious lack of sparkle in your
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00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:12,745
lives without me, but I'm back
and guess what time it is?
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00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:15,681
It's lunch time tour time!
That's right! Time for a tour
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00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:19,451
of my lunch. Today we're trying
the sous vide jambon
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with a cave aged gruyere, a
dijon remoulade, and a side of
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00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,991
pomme frites! Oh lala!
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00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:28,527
I told you it's ham and
cheese. On white.
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00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,497
You know what this needs
to take it over the top,
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00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:34,099
like into a five diamond rating?
Avocado!
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00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,703
We don't have avocado.
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No avocado? Serious? 'Cause
that's just madness.
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GINGER: Yeah, that's the
madness.
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00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,912
Ooh, fries.
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00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,181
Soph, my Diamond Life
is really hurting.
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00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,950
That's weirdly third-person of
you. And to be clear,
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00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:53,318
which part of you hurts?
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00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,954
Not me, Diamond. My channel,
Diamond Life.
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SOPHIA: Oh, that makes sense.
Hey, that might be the first
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00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:01,326
time I've ever said that to you!
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00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:04,430
Ever since I came to Star Falls
I've been losing subscribers.
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00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:07,132
I lost ten thousands subs.
Now I have less than
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00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,434
ten million.
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♪♪♪
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Ten million? That's a small
country, or a large country,
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or a whole colony of ants!
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Exactly. And I, their ant Queen
Diamond, am failing them.
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Okay, well, what do you think
the problem is?
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Star Falls, obviously.
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What? No! Star Falls is awesome.
And I will lead you on another
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fun and informative tour if you
twist my arm.
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Are you just going to
take me to that bridge
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that James Troll built?
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Well, it is a troll bridge,
isn't it?
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♪♪♪
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Okay, I see your point. That one
may be a little bit misleading.
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He did live under it for a
while, though. Hard times.
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♪♪♪
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Go fish.
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I don't think we
do that in poker.
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Poker? Oh, in that
case I'm out.
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Why? What's wrong?
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00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:03,489
Poker is a greedy, soulless game
developed by the capitalist
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00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:04,957
overlords. I won't play it.
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00:02:05,059 --> 00:02:07,893
But I'm playing for charity.
I need to learn to play
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in two days or I'm going to
humiliate myself on
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national television.
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LOU: Isn't that what you do for
a living?
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CRAIG: No, I normally humiliate
myself in movie theatres.
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Ah.
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I suppose if it's for charity
the karmic balance might
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00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:22,474
be restored.
Fine, I'll help you.
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00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:25,410
Or maybe you get someone who
actually plays poker to help.
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BO: Okay, I'll help. But only
this once. And let's not call it
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helping.
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'Cause I happen to know just the
person.
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No, you don't.
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Hey, if you're going to keep
casually dropping in every
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night before dinner, you're
going to teach Craig poker.
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Fine.
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We can make a night of it.
We'll all play.
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BO: Duh. I already said I'm in.
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PHOENIX: Ooh, can I be the
dealer? Keeps my fingers limber
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and my soul clean.
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Yes, as long as I learn to play.
I've got two days to become
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a master poker-er?
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Lesson one -
don't say that.
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(SIGHS)
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CRAIG: Um, is something wrong,
honey?
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I'm way behind on my uploads.
Star Falls is killing
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Diamond Life.
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00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,950
Hey, stop being so negative.
I said I'd help. How about after
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00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:07,886
dinner we watch some of your
videos. You know, help me
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00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,555
understand what
you're going for.
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00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:13,158
Wait, are you saying you've
never seen my videos?!
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Okay, define seen.
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Looked at. With your eyes.
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Oh, right, right. So...
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Uh, Bo, pass the milk?
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DIAMOND: So you've never watched
my videos?
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I mean, I wouldn't say never.
In fact, I never say never.
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♪♪♪
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Never seen that before.
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I know, I'm very cutting edge.
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"Chew-rades?" Like charades?
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Yup, but you have to
guess what I'm chewing.
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00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:39,818
Ooh, that's the one where my mom
had to guess the gum that was
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in my mouth. And she did.
Strawberry Mango explosion.
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00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,455
Shoe swap?
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That's self-explanatory.
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Is it?
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00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:49,194
Totes. I just go out for a walk,
and if I see someone with
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00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:51,330
shoes I like,
I ask them to swap.
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00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,564
That seems unhygienic.
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00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:55,033
Yeah, there's a definite foot
sweat risk. But I've learned
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00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,868
to accept it for my viewers.
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00:03:56,971 --> 00:03:59,004
I think I know what
the problem is.
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00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,206
No one in Star Falls
has good shoes?
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00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:04,009
No, these videos
aren't interesting.
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00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:05,277
(GASPS)
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00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,779
Hear me out. I just think, maybe
you could use your celebrity
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00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:08,747
for something important.
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00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,716
Hey, people want to know
what I'm chewing.
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I'm sure they do. But you
could use your channel for
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00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,453
a good cause.
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00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,555
I dunno. Sounds boring.
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00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:20,692
Not boring! Look at your dad -
huge star, Craig Brooks,
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00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:24,162
is playing poker on TV to help
raise money for a good cause.
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00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,430
That's true.
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SOPHIA: And that girl, in the
movie with the river,
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and the alien?
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Yeah?
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00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:31,837
You love her, and she's always
trying to save the whales!
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I'm listening.
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SOPHIA: And that guy, with the
hair, in that movie
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with the punching.
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00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:36,508
Yeah?
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00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,309
SOPHIA: He's super into
recycling.
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00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:38,710
He is?!
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00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,513
SOPHIA: Totally! He wrote and
starred in a Broadway musical,
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00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:42,714
"Blue Bin Alley."
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00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:43,982
I loved that show!
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♪ Milk cartons and plastic jugs,
plastic jugs! ♪
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Okay, I'm in!
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00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:49,554
Yes!
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00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,657
♪ Plastic jugs, plastic jugs. ♪
Okay, I'm never going to get
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00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,058
that out of my head.
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00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,694
DIAMOND: ♪ Milk cartons and
plastic jugs, plastic jugs! ♪
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00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:56,428
(LAUGHS)
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♪♪♪
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SOPHIA: Sometimes parents need a
little help.
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00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,167
So we're helping ours get
together.
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00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,036
My mom, my best friend.
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00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:06,038
Her dad, huge movie star.
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00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:09,374
And things might get a little
crazy. Okay, a lot crazy.
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00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,778
But that's just life
in Star Falls.
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00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:24,690
♪♪♪
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00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:28,593
DIAMOND: Heya, it's your girls'
best friend, Diamond. Meet Lucy.
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00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:33,198
She's a lizard-type thing with a
weird smell, and...
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00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:37,302
Wait! Why is she staring at me?
Get it off! Get it off!
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00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,471
Okay, okay.
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00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:43,909
Lucy is perfectly harmless,
and she's in need of a home.
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00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,812
I see why. She won't stop
hissing. Who wants to live
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00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,146
with a hisser?
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00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:51,249
That's just a lizard thing.
Now relax. You're doing fine.
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00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,018
NATE: Is she? Is she really?
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00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,154
Don't you have anything cuter,
fuzzier or at least less scaly?
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00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,557
Ooh, we've got a super rare
earthworm I've been
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00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,726
trying to get adopted forever.
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00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:01,927
Eww, Nate, no!
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00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,863
What? You don't have to let it
sleep in your bed.
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00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,032
Although she is a cuddler.
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00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,900
I'm not sure about
all this, Soph.
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00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:11,036
What do you mean? We're
educating and raising
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00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,904
awareness.
Nate, get the worm.
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Nate, do not get the worm.
It's just this really doesn't
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00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,909
feel like Diamond Life.
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00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,245
But you have almost ten million
followers. That's enough people
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00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:23,615
to change the world!
Ten million followers
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00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,751
who will listen to you.
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00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:27,085
People do listen to me.
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00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,221
People who want to
know what you think.
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00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:31,356
People do want to
know what I think.
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People who will follow you.
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00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:33,725
People do follow me!
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00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:34,593
Yeah, they do!
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00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,428
All right, fine.
I'll save the world!
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00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,496
Let's not go crazy.
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00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,364
Can we put lipstick
on the lizard?
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And we just went crazy.
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♪♪♪
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So is that what you're
supposed to wear for poker?
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00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,445
I don't know. I watched a poker
show on TV before I came over.
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00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,380
A lot of them
were doing this.
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Nice.
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00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:57,649
LOU: All right, let's get
shuffling.
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00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:08,226
♪♪♪
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Any day now.
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00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,263
PHOENIX: Bo, the art of
shuffling takes time
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00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:14,399
and precision. You must combine
the cards, fuse them,
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00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:15,734
and un-fuse them.
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00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,669
Just shuffle.
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♪♪♪
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00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:23,475
PHOENIX: Yeah, turns out I don't
know how to shuffle.
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00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,043
But I do know card tricks.
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00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,945
Is this the card you're
thinking of?
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00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,513
Someone went to magic camp.
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00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,848
And someone's still jealous.
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00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,850
All right, let's
get down to it.
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00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,985
Yes. Please, I have
a lot of questions.
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00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:38,290
Ah-ah! Less talk, more listen.
Reds are five, yellows are ten,
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00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:39,825
black liquorice is
twenty-five.
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00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:40,892
Who wants my twenty-fives?
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00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,928
Over here.
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00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,664
Ah-ah-ah! Stop. Those are
your betting beans!
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00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,232
Worry about your own beans,
pops.
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00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:50,135
♪♪♪
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00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,337
Read 'em and weep.
200
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:55,740
Good job! Okay, so how
did Bo win that hand?
201
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,209
Just beginner's luck.
202
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,578
No, I meant how exactly did his
cards beat...
203
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,880
Like I said, beginner's luck.
204
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,515
PHOENIX: Pick a card, any card.
205
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:07,085
Would you please! And stop
eating your betting beans!
206
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,822
Don't worry. I've got
lots to spare.
207
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,324
Lots more than you.
208
00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:20,065
♪♪♪
209
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,233
What's up?
210
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:22,334
♪♪♪
211
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:24,736
I was just taking a nap
with my giant earthworm.
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00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,939
First, eww. And I'm sorry, but I
called you 'cause I've never
213
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,842
had this happen. You think life
is great and then boom!
214
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,444
Everything is taken
away from you.
215
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,279
So you lost more subscribers?
216
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,715
Ever since that really
important iguana video
217
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:40,118
went up my subscribers
dropped by... by...
218
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:41,219
Looks like fifty thousand.
219
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:44,155
Don't say it! When you
say it out loud it's true!
220
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:46,324
So what do you
want me to do?
221
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,727
I called you because
I can't talk to Sophia.
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00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,061
Really? 'Cause I've seen you...
223
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:52,998
I need to go back to regular,
delightful, so carefree they're
224
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,667
cool Diamond Life videos.
Like Put a Wig On It.
225
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:59,204
I know I shouldn't ask, but what
exactly do you put wigs on?
226
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,973
Babies, coffee makers, fire
hydrants, pretty much anything.
227
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:06,011
Asking, bad idea. Anyway, just
tell Sophia how you feel.
228
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:10,482
But I'm a teensy bit afraid she
might get a teensy bit angry.
229
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:13,218
I've known Sophia my whole
entire life. Just be honest.
230
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,419
She'll understand.
231
00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:15,587
(CELL PHONE DINGS)
232
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:18,523
(GROANS) But she keeps texting
me new and "exciting"
233
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:19,457
animal causes.
234
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:20,458
(CELL PHONE DINGS)
235
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,259
Here's another one.
236
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,160
(CELL PHONE DINGS)
237
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,395
And another one.
238
00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:25,263
Yeah, I get what
the dinging means.
239
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,331
(GROANS)
240
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:29,401
You can't avoid the problem.
Just tell her.
241
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:31,536
Make it quick, like pulling off
a bandage.
242
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:34,105
You pull them off fast?
That sounds awful.
243
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,840
Why, what do you do?
244
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,009
I don't know.
I've never had a cut.
245
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:38,443
Ever?
246
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:39,344
Ever.
247
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:40,612
How is that possible?
248
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,381
So do you put the bandage on
quickly, too?
249
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:47,552
I... Just tell Sophia.
Now if you'll excuse me,
250
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,688
I'm going to go finish my worm
nap.
251
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:54,526
♪♪♪
252
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,127
CRAIG: I guess I'm in.
253
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,362
BO: Duh.
254
00:09:57,464 --> 00:10:00,365
LOU: All right, I call. Now what
do you got?
255
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:01,266
I win!
256
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,301
LOU: Bah! I don't understand.
257
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,971
CRAIG: Me neither. Do two of a
kind beat three?
258
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,172
Let's do another hand.
259
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,107
Nah, I think we've had enough
friendly competition
260
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,475
for one night.
261
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:13,378
Ooh, should we switch to magic?
I'll get my top hat and wand.
262
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,512
But I don't understand.
263
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,848
It's customary for magicians to
have a top hat.
264
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,984
No, not that.
Bo, how did you win?
265
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:20,986
LOU: Yes, how did you win?
266
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,521
BO: Sorry, past my bedtime,
old man.
267
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:27,092
Ah-ah! I need to know how this
kid is winning!
268
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,693
Dad, don't be a sore loser.
269
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,630
BO: Hey, Lou, got a sack
I can put these in?
270
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:35,100
Maybe one with a dollar sign on
it? And the dollar sign's made
271
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:35,867
of jelly beans.
272
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,869
Rematch! Tomorrow!
273
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,405
Sure, whatever. Good night.
274
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:43,675
No, no, no. I haven't learned
anything. Lou, stay!
275
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,611
You can help me. Maybe we can go
through the winning
276
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:49,080
combinations, because I'm
totally in the dark!
277
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:59,224
♪♪♪
278
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:05,664
♪♪♪
279
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:06,264
DIAMOND: Sophia?
280
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,900
SOPHIA: Over here.
281
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,603
Why did you text me to bring
all these pillows?
282
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,905
Are we building
a pillow fort?
283
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,574
This isn't a fort. It's a
sanctuary for the great
284
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:17,976
Sleepy Owl of Star Falls.
285
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,144
Here we go.
286
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,945
The Sleepy Owl has recently
become endangered from
287
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:25,617
falling asleep mid-flight and,
well, you know. Splat.
288
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:26,751
(GROANS)
289
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,920
Yeah, it's dangerous for
everyone. A sleepy owl bomb
290
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,757
sounds funny until it's
coming straight at you.
291
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,125
NATE: Very portly birds.
292
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:37,529
So, that's why the Sleepy Owl is
our next cause on Diamond Life.
293
00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:39,064
Yeah, about that...
294
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,232
Oh! Hold that thought.
295
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:42,567
You need to tell her.
296
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:46,971
No kidding. I'm going to. Like a
bandage, Which is quick, right?
297
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:48,506
Yes. Quick.
298
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,975
Ta-da!
299
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:56,347
Wow. Okay, you are a bird.
300
00:11:56,450 --> 00:12:00,452
I'm the Sleepy Owl! I thought it
would be a great way to help
301
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,653
raise awareness.
302
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:03,388
Raise awareness of your sanity
leaving the building?
303
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,591
Well, I've got to head back to
the hardware store and pick
304
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:11,696
up a couple things. Screws,
joints, screw joints.
305
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:14,232
You two talk.
306
00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:19,738
Check out the habitat! It's got
a hand-woven nest and
307
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,906
landing pillows
to break their fall!
308
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:24,175
Yeah, I got all that.
It's just...
309
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,846
Can you believe it only took us
twelve hours to build?
310
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,115
You've been out here
for twelve hours?
311
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:33,551
(LAUGHS) The owls may sleep,
but I don't have to!
312
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,854
The thing is...
313
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,290
I'm going to go back to normal
Diamond Life videos
314
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,159
'cause these causes aren't
working for me,
315
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,394
or my viewers, or my numbers,
or me.
316
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,097
We good?
317
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:49,300
So, did I rip that off too
quick, or not quick enough?
318
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:52,403
♪♪♪
319
00:12:52,506 --> 00:13:04,315
♪♪♪
320
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,451
DIAMOND: Soph, are you mad?
321
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:07,619
No.
322
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:09,354
DIAMOND: You sure?
I can't really tell when you
323
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,688
have a beak on.
324
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:13,391
This is so important. Please, do
a video about the Sleepy Owl.
325
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,293
I know we can make a difference.
326
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,662
DIAMOND: I'm sorry, that's just
not what Diamond's Life is.
327
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:19,831
Soph, your causes are your
causes, and my channel
328
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:20,965
is my channel.
329
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,834
SOPHIA: I know it's your
channel. But you have
330
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:25,236
ten million followers who could
help make real change!
331
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,372
DIAMOND: I don't have ten
million followers anymore!
332
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,406
Thanks to you!
333
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:33,511
♪♪♪
334
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,981
Um, why is my daughter a bird?
And why is my bird daughter
335
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:40,451
in a cage? And why is there a
giant cage in my yard?
336
00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:41,653
♪♪♪
337
00:13:41,755 --> 00:13:44,189
Actually, I'm going to assume
I don't want to know.
338
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:46,891
I've got seven pounds of jelly
beans to sort. Later.
339
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:55,266
♪♪♪
340
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:56,234
BO: I win.
341
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,103
LOU: Really? I can't believe
it.
342
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:02,006
Yeah, me neither. I think I
actually know less about poker
343
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:03,408
than when we started.
344
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:06,077
But you know more about magic!
345
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,012
CRAIG: You know, I actually
don't.
346
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:11,316
Didn't think I'd ever say this,
but I'm bored of winning.
347
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,451
And I think we're out of jelly
beans.
348
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,119
Deal!
349
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:22,026
♪♪♪
350
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,262
BO: I'm in. All in.
351
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,063
Fold.
352
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,798
I'd ask what I should do, but...
353
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:27,632
I'm in.
354
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,033
I'll just fold.
355
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:30,368
I win.
356
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,937
Hey, hey, hey. Hold your horses
there, kid. What do you got?
357
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,106
♪♪♪
358
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,743
But that's impossible!
How are you doing it?
359
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:42,380
LOU: Tell me and I'll give you
anything! I'll give you my car!
360
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:45,283
I'll give you my house!
I'll give you my first born!
361
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:45,917
Hey!
362
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:49,053
Just tell me!
363
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:52,390
Fine. Only half of poker is
about the cards.
364
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,459
The other half is spotting
tells.
365
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,127
Wait. What's a tell?
366
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:59,564
Something you do that shows what
kind of cards you have.
367
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,533
Like the way Baxter crosses his
paws? Sure sign he's gotta
368
00:15:02,636 --> 00:15:04,369
do his business.
369
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,404
Business means poop.
370
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,006
LOU: I don't have a tell.
371
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:12,210
Everyone has a tell. Beth, it's
all in your eyes.
372
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:15,580
♪♪♪
373
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:20,618
Lou, you rub your chin when
you're bluffing.
374
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,989
And Dad, well, you just have
no idea what you're doing.
375
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,190
♪♪♪
376
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:28,726
CRAIG: That's what I've been
saying! I've got to play
377
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,862
in a tournament in less than
twenty-four hours,
378
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,531
and all I've learned is Lou
is a sore loser,
379
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,934
you're freakishly perceptive.
And I've eaten way too many
380
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:36,634
jelly beans!
381
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:37,936
Look, Craig. I'm sorry.
382
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,371
CRAIG: Sorry doesn't help!
I'm supposed to be raising money
383
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,308
for orphans! Orphans who will
laugh at me when they see
384
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:46,244
how badly I lose! Only they
won't laugh because they don't
385
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,379
know the joy of laughter because
they're orphans.
386
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:51,316
All right. I'm sorry. I got too
involved in this game.
387
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:52,450
I blame the kid.
388
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,818
I'm used to it.
389
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:57,021
But it's not too late. I'll stay
up and I'll teach you everything
390
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,356
you need to know.
391
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,992
BO: And I'll show you how to
spot tells.
392
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:03,561
This is so beautiful. Everyone
coming together to help
393
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,864
Father. I'm truly moved.
394
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:10,401
Could you maybe truly move
yourself to ordering some pizza?
395
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:13,071
BETH: Good idea. I can't look at
another jelly bean.
396
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:19,143
♪♪♪
397
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:22,280
Hey, everybody! It's me. So, so,
so sorry for the weirdness
398
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:26,050
lately. No more Diamond gone
wildlife, promise.
399
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,820
It's back to totes awesome
Diamond Life.
400
00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:30,688
Wait, who is photobombing my
live stream?
401
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,891
Did you know that the Sleepy Owl
is the most endangered species
402
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,960
in Star Falls?
Knowledge is power!
403
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:37,762
Okay, have you lost it?
404
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:40,765
Diamond, please help me. We can
do so much good together.
405
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:43,434
Hey, this is Diamond Life, not
Sophia's Cry For Help!
406
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:46,137
If you won't do it, I'll do it
for you!
407
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:47,338
You wouldn't.
408
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,274
I'm going to go everywhere you
go so every video you make
409
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:53,878
will also have guess who? Me!
Also the "who" is funny because
410
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:54,946
owls say "hoo."
411
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,081
You'll have to catch me first,
crazy bird!
412
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,349
Crazy owl!
413
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:04,322
♪♪♪
414
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:07,892
Fun fact - Diamond is faster
than an owl. Fizzy water break!
415
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,194
Maybe that's because the
Sleepy Owl is narcoleptic.
416
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:13,197
That means they fall asleep all
the time. Knowledge!
417
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:16,434
♪♪♪
418
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,569
Okay, I think I lost her.
419
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,539
Wrong. Because maple trees are
the Sleepy Owl's preferred home.
420
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:22,540
Owl fact!
421
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:23,508
DIAMOND: (GROANS)
422
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:32,450
♪♪♪
423
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:35,620
Diamond?
424
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,722
Nate, Nate, it's me.
425
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,425
Yeah, I know. I can see you.
What's going on?
426
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:41,559
Why are you whispering?
427
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:44,429
You were wrong. So, so wrong
about Sophia.
428
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:47,799
She's been ruining my videos all
day. She's gone cuckoo!
429
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,467
I think you mean owl-owl!
430
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:50,802
(SCREAMS)
431
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:54,038
That's it! Does that costume
have padding?
432
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:54,906
Yeah, why?
433
00:17:55,008 --> 00:17:56,707
Then you won't mind when
I do this!
434
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,342
SOPHIA: Diamond, what are you
doing?!
435
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:01,479
DIAMOND: Take that costume off!
436
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,115
DIAMOND: That costume is
ridiculous!
437
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,150
But the owl is going extinct!
438
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:09,587
(STRUGGLING)
439
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:14,225
All right. Diamond, sit.
Bird, perch.
440
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,928
NATE: Each of you will have a
turn to speak.
441
00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:18,229
Bird, you're first.
442
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,631
Diamond is wasting her bazillion
followers! She could be making
443
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:24,235
the world a better place instead
of chewing things, putting wigs
444
00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,604
on babies or stealing shoes.
445
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,906
Thank you. Diamond, all you.
446
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:31,342
DIAMOND: Look, Soph. I know
those things are important.
447
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,011
But making people happy is also
important. And that's what
448
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:37,181
Diamond Life is all about.
So in my own kinda awesome way,
449
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:41,185
aren't I making the world a
better place, too?
450
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,054
Yeah, I guess you have a point.
451
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:45,990
And you being a creeper owl is
not making people happy.
452
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:47,725
Also a good point.
453
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:51,629
NATE: Actually, those last few
live posts you did are huge.
454
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:52,563
Really?
455
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,599
NATE: Yeah. "Owl bomb" is
trending.
456
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:55,933
No way!
457
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,336
SOPHIA: "Because maple trees are
the owl's preferred home."
458
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,238
You know, maybe there's
something we could
459
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,038
do about this.
460
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:08,079
♪♪♪
461
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,214
Gross, Dad. How are
you eating those?
462
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,617
Because I didn't make myself
sick on them earlier.
463
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:13,951
Because you didn't win any?
464
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,386
Don't remind me.
465
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,321
BETH: Hey, how'd the poker
tournament go?
466
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:20,658
So good! Father was like a late
summer flower blossoming
467
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,361
just when you think there's no
chance it will survive.
468
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:24,829
♪♪♪
469
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,464
But, you know,
a poker flower.
470
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:27,698
He cleaned up.
471
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,333
Ten thousand dollars
for my charity!
472
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:32,403
Wow! Congrats! I told you my Dad
was the best teacher.
473
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,872
Guess those orphans can't
laugh at you now, huh?
474
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:38,242
Nope. Plus there aren't any
orphans. I might've made that
475
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:41,479
part up to make you feel
bad and take pity on me.
476
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,848
Huh. You're not such a bad
actor after all.
477
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,284
Ooh! Jelly beans!
478
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:51,556
♪♪♪
479
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:54,525
Sophia, this is perfect. You're
going to have your own channel
480
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:57,195
to help promote your causes,
like the rescue.
481
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,363
What if my channel doesn't
get any subscribers?
482
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:01,732
That's why I'm going
to be your first guest.
483
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:02,833
Rolling.
484
00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:04,035
Heya, it's your girls'
best friend, Diamond.
485
00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:07,238
And I'm here with my friend,
Sophia, for a fun new game
486
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:10,708
of "Put a Wig On It." Say hello
to Chaos. Don't be fooled
487
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,543
by the name. She's a real
sweetheart.
488
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:15,246
Moving right along, check out
Chiquita. She's feeling a little
489
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:16,914
blue. But maybe you can help!
490
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:19,584
That's right. All these cuties
are up for adoption at
491
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:22,753
Happy Tails Rescue. Follow my
channel, "Sophia's Sanctuary,"
492
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:26,023
for more important info about
things like me, the Sleepy Owl.
493
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,992
Hoot-hoot!
494
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:32,897
And cut. That's was perfect.
Wigs. Always funny.
495
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,498
See, that was fun!
496
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:38,402
You know what? It was!
Sorry I got a little nuts with
497
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,104
the whole owl stalking thing.
498
00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:43,307
Eh, your heart was totes in the
right place. I get it.
499
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:46,244
I just wish I didn't have to
wear this owl costume.
500
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,813
NATE: Um, guess what?
You already have nine hundred
501
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:52,750
subscribers. In ten seconds.
502
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:56,988
Wha-?! I will totally wear this
owl costume! Hoot-hoot!
503
00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,024
Hoot-hoot! Hoot-hoot!
504
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:00,391
(LAUGHS)38313
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