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1
00:00:01,127 --> 00:00:03,412
- Dude.
- Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
2
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:04,437
I get it. You love me.
3
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,371
But the way you show your love
4
00:00:06,396 --> 00:00:07,695
is so messed up.
5
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:09,167
We're not right for each other.
6
00:00:09,192 --> 00:00:10,725
And we never will be.
7
00:00:10,750 --> 00:00:13,257
I don't know why I can't have
that closeness with anyone else.
8
00:00:13,282 --> 00:00:15,915
Well, you could try
being nicer to people.
9
00:00:15,984 --> 00:00:17,328
NATHANIEL: You think I
don't know that I'm a jerk?
10
00:00:17,352 --> 00:00:18,551
I don't want to be like that.
11
00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:20,186
My mother told me who to be.
12
00:00:20,211 --> 00:00:22,144
NAOMI: Nothing is going
to ruin your future.
13
00:00:22,169 --> 00:00:24,036
I sacrificed my dreams for you.
14
00:00:24,061 --> 00:00:25,427
You want that promotion, don't you?
15
00:00:25,627 --> 00:00:26,771
REBECCA: And I went along with it all
16
00:00:26,796 --> 00:00:29,297
because I told myself
they weren't my choices.
17
00:00:29,322 --> 00:00:31,089
This guy can meet you
at a bar in 20 minutes.
18
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,631
- Go for it.
- What are those?
19
00:00:32,701 --> 00:00:34,267
Oh, carpal tunnel.
20
00:00:34,336 --> 00:00:35,535
REBECCA: In another context,
21
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,894
you'd be great, but you're
not a healthy choice.
22
00:00:38,919 --> 00:00:40,647
Are you finally moving out
of Hector's mom's house?
23
00:00:40,672 --> 00:00:41,677
No, she's awesome.
24
00:00:41,702 --> 00:00:43,620
You got to move out
of her house. Enough.
25
00:00:43,645 --> 00:00:45,145
Se acabó. Basta.
26
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,448
I don't want to be a lawyer anymore.
27
00:00:46,473 --> 00:00:47,872
I'm thinking of calling it...
28
00:00:47,897 --> 00:00:49,230
Rebetzel's.
29
00:00:49,255 --> 00:00:50,688
I would love to try
30
00:00:50,713 --> 00:00:53,480
and help you and any of
the other women in here.
31
00:00:53,505 --> 00:00:55,010
So, what do you guys think?
32
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:58,482
♪ Meet Rebecca ♪
33
00:00:58,507 --> 00:01:01,241
♪ She's the coolest
girl in the world, wait ♪
34
00:01:01,266 --> 00:01:03,929
♪ Wrong Rebecca ♪
35
00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:07,364
♪ It's this one over here ♪
36
00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:10,267
♪ She's spunky, she's
sweet, a generous friend ♪
37
00:01:10,292 --> 00:01:12,692
♪ Oh, but there she
looks kind of mean ♪
38
00:01:12,717 --> 00:01:14,317
- Hmm.
- ♪ Okay, she's snarky ♪
39
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,409
♪ Sarcastic and a... What? ♪
40
00:01:16,434 --> 00:01:20,000
♪ You know, we're not really
seeing a common theme ♪
41
00:01:20,025 --> 00:01:22,926
♪ Meet Rebecca ♪
42
00:01:23,314 --> 00:01:26,148
♪ She's too hard to summarize ♪
43
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:29,263
♪ So let's go back
to Other Rebecca. ♪
44
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,824
(barking)
45
00:01:31,848 --> 00:01:33,625
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
46
00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:36,060
(lock buzzes in distance)
47
00:01:36,128 --> 00:01:38,595
So, I complete the work
skills program by Friday,
48
00:01:38,664 --> 00:01:40,330
then I get my certificate,
49
00:01:40,399 --> 00:01:42,300
and then I can go ahead and
file for sentence relief.
50
00:01:42,325 --> 00:01:43,703
- Exactly.
- Okay, perfect.
51
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,827
And Nicky, I talked to
your public defender,
52
00:01:45,871 --> 00:01:47,282
and you will be hearing
about your parole
53
00:01:47,306 --> 00:01:48,672
in the next couple days or so.
54
00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:51,375
Good. Talked to my work.
They said they'd take me back.
55
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:53,944
Just kind of want to get
back to my life, really.
56
00:01:53,969 --> 00:01:56,280
Don't worry, you're getting out
of here. It's just a formality.
57
00:01:56,305 --> 00:01:58,334
Um, oh, I won't be here next week,
58
00:01:58,359 --> 00:02:00,328
but my friend Paula's subbing in for me.
59
00:02:00,352 --> 00:02:02,386
And she's not a lawyer yet
but she will be,
60
00:02:02,411 --> 00:02:04,411
and she loves the law.
61
00:02:04,436 --> 00:02:06,500
Hmm, should be a nice
change of pace, then.
62
00:02:06,525 --> 00:02:07,902
Yeah, sounds like a step up.
63
00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:09,793
- Yep.
- So, where're you going?
64
00:02:09,876 --> 00:02:11,929
Oh, it's-it's boring.
My mom's being honored
65
00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:13,275
by this Jewish charity back east,
66
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,266
and I haven't seen her since...
67
00:02:15,566 --> 00:02:18,702
oh, I tried to kill
myself, got a diagnosis,
68
00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,415
pushed a guy off the
roof and went to jail,
69
00:02:20,439 --> 00:02:22,005
so she doesn't know the truth,
70
00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:24,652
and it's time to tell her all that.
71
00:02:24,677 --> 00:02:27,010
Wait, so you're gonna
tell her everything?
72
00:02:27,079 --> 00:02:30,265
Yeah. I figure if I'm honest with her,
73
00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:32,282
maybe we'll finally have
a better relationship.
74
00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:33,851
Hmm.
75
00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:35,119
Rebecca, I have a question.
76
00:02:35,454 --> 00:02:38,455
So, last week you said you
were going on the dating apps.
77
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:39,967
Did you meet someone, and did they think
78
00:02:39,992 --> 00:02:42,197
the whole jail thing was hot or weird?
79
00:02:42,222 --> 00:02:43,827
I'm asking for a friend.
80
00:02:43,896 --> 00:02:45,362
- The friend is me.
- Okay.
81
00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:46,808
You don't tell people on dating apps
82
00:02:46,832 --> 00:02:48,152
that you've been in jail. Come on.
83
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,134
Well, old Rebecca might
not have mentioned it,
84
00:02:50,202 --> 00:02:53,989
but, like I said, new Rebecca is honest.
85
00:02:54,378 --> 00:02:55,391
Totally honest.
86
00:02:55,416 --> 00:02:58,429
"Recovering from
recent suicide attempt.
87
00:02:58,454 --> 00:03:01,422
Have been known to stalk my exes."
88
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:05,582
- Wow, that is an honest profile.
- Yep.
89
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,490
Look, lying is bad for
me. It's a slippery slope.
90
00:03:08,515 --> 00:03:10,867
I tell one little lie, next
thing you know, jail.
91
00:03:10,892 --> 00:03:12,890
Okay. I think it's okay
to lie sometimes.
92
00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:14,436
You know, on my profile I don't mention
93
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:15,826
that I get gassy from gluten
94
00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:17,594
or that my back handspring needs work.
95
00:03:17,707 --> 00:03:19,807
Hey, you know, maybe I
can find you some people
96
00:03:19,832 --> 00:03:21,519
You've swiped for me,
I'll swipe for you.
97
00:03:21,544 --> 00:03:24,278
I've been out there a while,
so I'm kind of an expert.
98
00:03:24,303 --> 00:03:26,911
- (scoffs) Sure, knock yourself out.
- Right.
99
00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:29,633
Well, here are some obvious nos.
100
00:03:29,658 --> 00:03:32,304
Weird facial hair, iguana on shoulder,
101
00:03:32,329 --> 00:03:34,344
- thumb ring.
- So many thumb rings.
102
00:03:34,413 --> 00:03:35,646
Oh, here's a good one.
103
00:03:36,228 --> 00:03:38,348
Kind face, good smile. Swiping yes.
104
00:03:38,417 --> 00:03:39,716
(phone dings)
105
00:03:39,785 --> 00:03:42,186
Oh, a match. Check it out.
106
00:03:42,405 --> 00:03:43,909
Really?
107
00:03:44,909 --> 00:03:46,557
Oh, my God, that's Jason.
108
00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:48,559
I've been on a date with
this guy. He had, um...
109
00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:51,161
right, these greasy, smelly balls.
110
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:52,262
Uh, what?
111
00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:53,808
No, uh, stress balls for carpal tunnel,
112
00:03:53,832 --> 00:03:55,410
but he was fondling them all night.
113
00:03:55,451 --> 00:03:56,716
You know, this guy,
114
00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:58,602
he never got a fair shake from me.
115
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:00,111
Mostly 'cause I was obsessed with you
116
00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:01,939
and stalking you and
trying to ruin your life.
117
00:04:03,051 --> 00:04:04,251
I'm just being honest.
118
00:04:04,276 --> 00:04:05,576
- Mm-hmm.
- Huh.
119
00:04:05,644 --> 00:04:08,111
I still have this guy's number.
Maybe I'll text him back.
120
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:09,913
Well, cool. If he
makes plans in advance,
121
00:04:09,938 --> 00:04:12,159
that means he likes you. Oh, yeah.
122
00:04:12,192 --> 00:04:13,491
Usually it's same-night hookups,
123
00:04:13,552 --> 00:04:15,730
and if someone is not into
you, they cancel last minute.
124
00:04:15,754 --> 00:04:18,388
Trust me, I know these
things. (chuckles)
125
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,993
(sighs) It's brutal out there.
126
00:04:23,965 --> 00:04:25,629
Thanks again so much
127
00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:28,398
for letting me stay here while
you're out of town, Becks.
128
00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:29,600
I'm not sure where to go
129
00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:31,346
now that I've moved out
of Hector's mom's place.
130
00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:32,970
Oh, yeah. Congrats on that, by the way.
131
00:04:33,038 --> 00:04:34,318
I was too embarrassed to go home,
132
00:04:34,373 --> 00:04:36,306
so I'm sleeping at the YMCA.
133
00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:38,976
Don't listen to the song.
It's not fun to stay there.
134
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:40,978
Oh, I'm sorry about that. (sighs)
135
00:04:41,046 --> 00:04:42,946
Well, happy to have you here,
136
00:04:43,015 --> 00:04:44,492
and I'm sure you'll
find your own place soon.
137
00:04:44,516 --> 00:04:45,826
Yeah. You know,
138
00:04:45,851 --> 00:04:47,929
it just occurred to me. Have
you ever lived on your own?
139
00:04:47,953 --> 00:04:49,953
Oh, yeah. In New York. I mean,
140
00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:51,399
I shared the apartment
with my landlord's mom,
141
00:04:51,423 --> 00:04:52,756
but we had our own rooms.
142
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:55,492
Wait, didn't you and Hector's
mom have your own rooms?
143
00:04:56,695 --> 00:04:58,195
Cool. Okay, so, some things
144
00:04:58,264 --> 00:04:59,630
you need to know about the house.
145
00:04:59,698 --> 00:05:02,499
Uh, Wi-Fi password is "525,600minutes."
146
00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:04,001
Trash goes out on Thursday.
147
00:05:04,069 --> 00:05:06,448
- I left some frozen Rebetzels for
you in the freezer. - All right!
148
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,804
Oh, and feed Estrella once a day.
149
00:05:07,873 --> 00:05:09,117
The fish flakes are right there.
150
00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:10,252
(clicks tongue) Right by the tank.
151
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:11,975
That's it. Okay. You know what,
152
00:05:12,044 --> 00:05:13,688
no matter what happens
with my mother on this trip,
153
00:05:13,712 --> 00:05:16,734
I am so excited to
see some fall foliage.
154
00:05:16,759 --> 00:05:18,879
I really miss East Coast seasons.
155
00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:20,350
We have seasons in L.A.
156
00:05:20,419 --> 00:05:22,986
T-shirt, sweatshirt,
puffer and tank top.
157
00:05:23,055 --> 00:05:24,879
- (chuckles) Okay. All right.
- (chuckles)
158
00:05:24,904 --> 00:05:26,579
Have a good time. Don't wreck the place.
159
00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:29,208
(scoffs) Wreck the place? Me? No.
160
00:05:29,233 --> 00:05:31,739
I'm the clean one.
Hector's mom was dirty.
161
00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:34,631
Okay. Bye.
162
00:05:34,755 --> 00:05:36,688
- Bye.
- (door closes)
163
00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:41,462
So, what should we do first, Estrella?
164
00:05:41,487 --> 00:05:42,720
Can I call you Estrella?
165
00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:46,818
Cool. I'm Josh.
166
00:05:48,019 --> 00:05:49,356
Whee!
167
00:05:49,381 --> 00:05:52,363
Want a pretzel? Get you a pretzel.
168
00:05:56,922 --> 00:05:59,389
BOTH: One, two, three,
four, I declare a thumb war.
169
00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:00,791
Ready? No, ready, begin.
170
00:06:00,859 --> 00:06:02,025
Hello there, Tim and Jim.
171
00:06:04,348 --> 00:06:06,648
Want a doughnut? (clears throat)
172
00:06:07,853 --> 00:06:10,567
I told the man to put the
most fattening ones in there.
173
00:06:10,905 --> 00:06:13,005
They're free, and they're for you.
174
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,306
Ooh, don't do it. It's a trick.
175
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,709
Oh, is this like the time
I tried to make the elevator
176
00:06:18,777 --> 00:06:20,088
and you pressed the
close button, yelling,
177
00:06:20,112 --> 00:06:21,969
"Take the stairs, lose a few"?
178
00:06:22,056 --> 00:06:23,424
Let me be honest.
179
00:06:23,985 --> 00:06:25,849
I've been going through a lot lately.
180
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,284
Hideous breakup.
181
00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:29,619
I spilled some ashes on
myself and learned how to cry,
182
00:06:29,688 --> 00:06:31,521
so now I'm just... I'm trying
183
00:06:31,590 --> 00:06:32,969
to be a nicer...
184
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,556
kinder, gentler guy.
185
00:06:37,696 --> 00:06:39,140
Okay?
186
00:06:39,492 --> 00:06:42,760
So... cruller?
187
00:06:50,062 --> 00:06:53,136
Take a bite! Come on. (chuckles)
188
00:06:57,311 --> 00:07:00,245
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
189
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,619
Enjoy.
190
00:07:06,458 --> 00:07:08,169
I'm telling you, he's
up to something. (sighs)
191
00:07:08,193 --> 00:07:11,094
PAULA: Maybe we should just
take Nathaniel at his word.
192
00:07:11,163 --> 00:07:13,736
Maybe he legitimately wants to be nice.
193
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,045
- Ugh.
- Oh.
194
00:07:19,805 --> 00:07:23,907
Yep, something weird
is definitely going on.
195
00:07:23,932 --> 00:07:25,942
(whispering): Damn it.
196
00:07:26,011 --> 00:07:28,078
Okay, I need to sneak out,
and I do not want to deal
197
00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:30,013
with whatever psycho thing is going on
198
00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:31,148
with him right now.
199
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,284
Will you and Tim cover for me?
200
00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:35,919
(breathes deeply)
201
00:07:35,988 --> 00:07:37,654
Okay.
202
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:40,056
So, my eldest, he wants to play the tuba
203
00:07:40,125 --> 00:07:41,925
in orchestra, and I'm like,
204
00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:44,461
"Get an instrument that's
gonna get you laid."
205
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,930
I-I played the snare,
and I lost my virginity
206
00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:49,132
to my high school band
teacher. (chuckles)
207
00:07:49,245 --> 00:07:52,112
No, no, no, no, no, not like
that. I was 26 at the time.
208
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:54,171
So, uh... Is that, uh,
209
00:07:54,239 --> 00:07:57,340
too late? Too-too early?
210
00:07:57,409 --> 00:07:59,352
- (elevator bell dings)
- (chuckles) It was right on time
211
00:07:59,377 --> 00:08:01,844
for me.
212
00:08:07,953 --> 00:08:09,352
(squeals)
213
00:08:09,421 --> 00:08:11,354
- (shrieks) Hi!
- Guys, I'm here.
214
00:08:11,423 --> 00:08:12,989
Hi! You're here.
215
00:08:13,058 --> 00:08:14,324
- (chuckles) Hi.
- Hey.
216
00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:16,960
- Hey, welcome, hey.
- Oh, my God.
217
00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:18,406
Oh, yeah, come in,
come in, come in. Look.
218
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:20,330
Look at this place.
219
00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:22,165
It's so tiny.
220
00:08:22,234 --> 00:08:23,578
How much are you paying for this again?
221
00:08:23,602 --> 00:08:24,634
Eight grand a month.
222
00:08:24,703 --> 00:08:26,436
You know, in New York, that's a steal.
223
00:08:26,461 --> 00:08:28,608
And we have a guest bed.
224
00:08:29,074 --> 00:08:32,075
No. Oh, my God. (laughs) Totally.
225
00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:35,212
It's the coolest thing. Wow.
226
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,647
So cozy. I love it.
227
00:08:37,716 --> 00:08:39,583
Oh, yay! (chuckles)
228
00:08:39,651 --> 00:08:41,885
Guys, thank you so, so much
229
00:08:41,962 --> 00:08:43,661
- for letting me stay with you, really.
- Yeah.
230
00:08:43,722 --> 00:08:46,923
- Last time I stayed with my
mom, she drugged me. - Whoa.
231
00:08:46,992 --> 00:08:50,160
- Oh, it's a long story. I'll tell you
sometime. - (phone chimes)
232
00:08:52,264 --> 00:08:54,522
Oh, hey, sexy stranger.
233
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,234
Sorry, it's this guy Jason.
Uh, we matched online,
234
00:08:57,302 --> 00:09:00,203
and I guess we're gonna go
on a date when I get back.
235
00:09:00,272 --> 00:09:02,372
- Oh, great!
- BETH: Yeah.
236
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:04,341
Huge relief. You got to get laid.
237
00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:06,496
Valencia says that all the time.
238
00:09:06,521 --> 00:09:08,688
Oh, so you guys, uh,
talk about my sex life?
239
00:09:11,283 --> 00:09:14,686
That is so sweet. I
love you both so much.
240
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:18,229
(groans) All right, I guess
I should go see Naomi and...
241
00:09:19,132 --> 00:09:20,968
tell her the truth, the whole truth
242
00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:22,726
and nothing but the... Yeah.
243
00:09:24,029 --> 00:09:26,396
Hey, V, are you busy today?
244
00:09:26,421 --> 00:09:28,688
Why? You need some moral support?
245
00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:30,567
(knock on door)
246
00:09:30,592 --> 00:09:32,826
I've been waiting for hours.
247
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,806
I'm only, like, ten minutes late.
248
00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:38,475
Late is late.
249
00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:42,333
Cool. Great to see you, too,
Mom, after, like, a year.
250
00:09:42,644 --> 00:09:45,111
I brought my friend Valencia.
You might remember her.
251
00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:47,701
You've got a nice figure.
252
00:09:48,185 --> 00:09:49,363
What do you eat, and when do you eat it?
253
00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:50,532
Please write this down for me,
254
00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:51,922
'cause I'm always looking for tips.
255
00:09:51,990 --> 00:09:53,924
Now, this event,
256
00:09:53,992 --> 00:09:55,358
let's review the details.
257
00:09:55,427 --> 00:09:57,304
Hey, before we do that, um,
258
00:09:57,329 --> 00:09:59,095
there are some things I
think we should talk about.
259
00:09:59,164 --> 00:10:02,152
Did I mention that Elayne
Boosler is introducing me?
260
00:10:02,177 --> 00:10:04,611
Oh, uh, wow.
261
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:06,570
Who?
262
00:10:06,638 --> 00:10:08,238
Elayne Boosler.
263
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,307
It's... Um...
264
00:10:09,341 --> 00:10:10,341
One of the great Jewish
265
00:10:10,375 --> 00:10:11,519
female comediennes of all time.
266
00:10:11,543 --> 00:10:12,442
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
267
00:10:12,477 --> 00:10:15,645
You got your Totie Fields, your
Joan Rivers, your Fran Drescher,
268
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:18,638
and then you got your Elayne Boosler...
269
00:10:18,794 --> 00:10:22,485
who just so happens to be
a close and personal friend of mine.
270
00:10:22,597 --> 00:10:24,731
We're friends from Jewish summer camp.
271
00:10:24,756 --> 00:10:26,089
We went to Camp Kavetcha.
272
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:27,924
You've heard of Camp
Kavetcha, of course.
273
00:10:27,992 --> 00:10:30,137
- Oh, yeah, yep. Yep, yep, yep.
- Why would she have heard...
274
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:32,095
Rebecca, this event is massive.
275
00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:33,530
Everyone who is anyone
276
00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:35,966
in the Northern Westchester
Modern Reform Jewish community
277
00:10:35,991 --> 00:10:37,457
(choked up): is coming.
278
00:10:37,825 --> 00:10:39,446
Including Elayne Boosler.
279
00:10:39,471 --> 00:10:41,404
Right. And that's very cool. So...
280
00:10:41,473 --> 00:10:43,440
hey, Mom, before we start
talking about the event,
281
00:10:43,596 --> 00:10:44,829
um, there are
282
00:10:44,854 --> 00:10:47,688
some... new things I
would love to tell you
283
00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:50,547
about my life, and I
would just love to...
284
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,482
get 'em out there.
285
00:10:52,922 --> 00:10:55,162
Okay. (clears throat)
286
00:10:56,015 --> 00:10:58,355
Is that why your friend
is here? Moral support?
287
00:10:58,423 --> 00:10:59,956
And you want to talk about what?
288
00:11:00,025 --> 00:11:02,292
Your suicide attempt?
Your mental health crisis?
289
00:11:02,403 --> 00:11:03,403
How you pushed
290
00:11:03,428 --> 00:11:04,906
some Harvard kid off
the roof and then tried
291
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:08,049
to plead guilty for some
fakakta reason and went to jail?!
292
00:11:08,074 --> 00:11:10,677
What? You think I don't have a
Google alert for "Rebecca Bunch"?
293
00:11:10,702 --> 00:11:13,069
You think that I am not
reading the comments section
294
00:11:13,094 --> 00:11:14,896
of the Daily Covina?
295
00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:18,141
So you know about all this, then?
296
00:11:18,166 --> 00:11:19,653
None of this was a surprise.
297
00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:21,044
I knew you weren't in great shape
298
00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:23,499
when we saw each other
last, and I was worried.
299
00:11:24,449 --> 00:11:27,217
But when I read you made
an attempt using my pills,
300
00:11:27,285 --> 00:11:29,386
that is exactly what
happened in college.
301
00:11:29,709 --> 00:11:31,064
You just wanted attention.
302
00:11:31,132 --> 00:11:33,266
And as for the Rooftop Killer,
303
00:11:33,291 --> 00:11:35,011
doing something drastic
for the man you love
304
00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:37,016
is vintage Beckelah.
305
00:11:37,041 --> 00:11:38,795
Oh, did she ever tell
you that in college
306
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:41,385
she lit her married
boyfriend's house on fire?
307
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,377
Not to mention the meshuggener
308
00:11:43,402 --> 00:11:45,335
Josh Chan shenanigans.
309
00:11:45,448 --> 00:11:47,381
Or should I say "Chananigans."
310
00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:49,039
(chuckling): That's pretty good.
311
00:11:49,064 --> 00:11:51,047
- (laughing)
- (forced chuckle)
312
00:11:51,072 --> 00:11:52,838
Anyway... that's all in the past.
313
00:11:52,863 --> 00:11:54,411
It doesn't matter. What matters is,
314
00:11:54,436 --> 00:11:56,299
despite all the schmegegge chazzerai,
315
00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:57,724
you still made partner.
316
00:11:57,749 --> 00:12:00,917
You got your name,
finally, on that door.
317
00:12:01,029 --> 00:12:03,159
So somehow all that meshigas
318
00:12:03,184 --> 00:12:07,267
made your career even better. Right?
319
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,991
Rebecca...
320
00:12:10,473 --> 00:12:12,673
nothing's really changed.
321
00:12:12,742 --> 00:12:14,675
You haven't really changed.
322
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:17,567
You're still the same
big-shot lawyer, right?
323
00:12:18,342 --> 00:12:20,108
Right?
324
00:12:23,306 --> 00:12:24,739
Right.
325
00:12:32,288 --> 00:12:34,021
Okay, Estrella.
326
00:12:34,090 --> 00:12:36,891
First, I'm hungry.
327
00:12:36,916 --> 00:12:38,982
Spaghetti! Love spaghetti.
328
00:12:39,007 --> 00:12:40,306
Hmm.
329
00:12:40,463 --> 00:12:41,896
Yeah. There it is.
330
00:12:41,965 --> 00:12:43,731
Find the stuff.
331
00:12:45,301 --> 00:12:46,901
(humming a tune)
332
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,607
Break this up here.
333
00:12:52,719 --> 00:12:54,519
Yeah!
334
00:12:54,544 --> 00:12:55,743
Now, put that there.
335
00:12:55,812 --> 00:12:57,165
All right, in it goes.
336
00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:59,057
Ah.
337
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,248
All right.
338
00:13:00,316 --> 00:13:01,782
(beeping)
339
00:13:01,807 --> 00:13:04,241
Ah. All right. And we're off!
340
00:13:04,266 --> 00:13:06,199
♪ ♪
341
00:13:06,224 --> 00:13:07,556
Yeah!
342
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:09,612
Yeah!
343
00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:11,953
Ye... Oh, man.
344
00:13:16,059 --> 00:13:17,726
Oh, come on.
345
00:13:25,479 --> 00:13:27,146
(exhales)
346
00:13:32,523 --> 00:13:34,005
(sighs): Oh!
347
00:13:35,084 --> 00:13:37,485
Ugh. It's... wet.
348
00:13:38,554 --> 00:13:39,654
(grunts)
349
00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:41,412
(straining)
350
00:13:41,437 --> 00:13:42,870
(groans)
351
00:13:46,296 --> 00:13:48,663
(grunts, groans)
352
00:13:48,731 --> 00:13:50,164
Stay. Yeah.
353
00:13:50,189 --> 00:13:52,122
Ow! Ow. What are you... ?
354
00:13:52,235 --> 00:13:53,467
(sighs)
355
00:13:53,536 --> 00:13:56,003
(panting)
356
00:13:56,072 --> 00:13:58,205
(machine whirring)
357
00:13:58,230 --> 00:14:00,230
(lock buzzes in distance)
358
00:14:00,916 --> 00:14:03,022
Okay, let's get up to speed.
359
00:14:03,047 --> 00:14:04,979
I know a bit about your cases.
360
00:14:05,004 --> 00:14:06,303
Rebecca talks about you a lot.
361
00:14:06,328 --> 00:14:08,061
She kind of talks about you, too.
362
00:14:08,086 --> 00:14:09,060
- Aw.
- Yeah.
363
00:14:09,085 --> 00:14:11,052
I am so mad at Tanya.
364
00:14:11,077 --> 00:14:12,643
Orange-vested bitch.
365
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:14,826
Let me know if you want me
to do anything about that
366
00:14:14,851 --> 00:14:15,851
when I get out.
367
00:14:15,876 --> 00:14:18,110
I had an ex-fiancé who cheated on me,
368
00:14:18,135 --> 00:14:19,434
and, well...
369
00:14:19,907 --> 00:14:24,309
(quietly): I put cream cheese
all over his car door handle.
370
00:14:25,904 --> 00:14:27,237
Whoa.
371
00:14:27,608 --> 00:14:28,807
Strong.
372
00:14:29,542 --> 00:14:30,674
No, thank you.
373
00:14:31,266 --> 00:14:33,207
Yeah. Okay,
374
00:14:33,276 --> 00:14:35,376
this is for Nicky.
375
00:14:35,401 --> 00:14:39,370
I thought we could have
a party to celebrate her...
376
00:14:39,395 --> 00:14:40,928
parole!
377
00:14:40,962 --> 00:14:42,195
Where is she?
378
00:14:42,220 --> 00:14:44,587
Well, they just took her
to talk to the warden, so...
379
00:14:45,274 --> 00:14:46,820
Seriously, just say the word,
380
00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:48,545
and Tanya's mailbox is filled with...
381
00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:50,737
That's right... cream cheese.
382
00:14:50,762 --> 00:14:52,570
- (lock buzzes)
- Okay.
383
00:14:52,595 --> 00:14:54,289
HANIFA: Nicky.
384
00:14:54,314 --> 00:14:55,919
Whoa, what happened to you?
385
00:14:56,626 --> 00:14:59,113
- Who's this?
- Rebecca's friend. Remember?
386
00:14:59,138 --> 00:15:00,671
The one who's not a lawyer?
387
00:15:00,696 --> 00:15:02,829
I need a lawyer right now. (scoffs)
388
00:15:04,492 --> 00:15:06,066
When they were processing my parole,
389
00:15:06,091 --> 00:15:07,902
they found a warrant for
unpaid parking tickets,
390
00:15:08,009 --> 00:15:09,743
because I failed to appear in court.
391
00:15:10,048 --> 00:15:12,983
Of course I failed to appear
in court; I was in here.
392
00:15:13,493 --> 00:15:17,451
And now they gave me
$5,000 worth of fines that I can't pay.
393
00:15:17,868 --> 00:15:19,741
What am I gonna do?
394
00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:23,801
PAULA: No, no, no, this is ridiculous.
395
00:15:23,826 --> 00:15:25,993
I have been on hold with
the public defender's office
396
00:15:26,018 --> 00:15:27,317
for 30 minutes already!
397
00:15:27,342 --> 00:15:30,370
No, d... (seething breath)
398
00:15:31,508 --> 00:15:32,774
(low growl)
399
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,240
How was everyone's weekend?
400
00:15:39,763 --> 00:15:41,909
I went to a pumpkin patch with my mom.
401
00:15:41,957 --> 00:15:45,693
She was a little surprised by the
invite, but I have a cute photo.
402
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,517
Ask to see the photo.
403
00:15:49,542 --> 00:15:50,875
- Uh, can we...
- Uh...
404
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,833
- can we see the photo?
- May I please see
405
00:15:52,858 --> 00:15:54,732
- your photograph?
- That'd be great.
406
00:15:54,757 --> 00:15:56,190
What the hell's going on?
407
00:15:56,215 --> 00:15:57,892
(quietly): We don't know
what's wrong with him.
408
00:15:57,917 --> 00:15:59,091
Just play it cool.
409
00:15:59,116 --> 00:16:00,639
Aw, no. Screw this.
410
00:16:01,369 --> 00:16:02,836
Uh, uh...
411
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:05,132
Here, check it out.
412
00:16:05,201 --> 00:16:07,468
Mm. So whimsical, right?
413
00:16:07,493 --> 00:16:08,612
(shudders): Yeah. That's very whimsical.
414
00:16:08,637 --> 00:16:10,470
Paula! Pumpkin photo!
415
00:16:11,539 --> 00:16:13,739
Paula, get in here right now, or else!
416
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,306
Don't fire her! Please!
417
00:16:16,068 --> 00:16:17,945
I'm not firing anyone.
418
00:16:18,014 --> 00:16:19,780
What is wrong with you guys?
419
00:16:19,849 --> 00:16:21,248
You said "or else"!
420
00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:24,474
Yeah, or else she's gonna
miss out on all the fun.
421
00:16:24,509 --> 00:16:25,708
Come on.
422
00:16:25,733 --> 00:16:27,600
Why doesn't anyone
believe that I'm nice now?
423
00:16:27,625 --> 00:16:30,004
I am. Okay? I'm nice.
424
00:16:30,488 --> 00:16:32,359
I just sent you all massage gift cards.
425
00:16:32,384 --> 00:16:33,523
Check your phones.
426
00:16:33,548 --> 00:16:35,682
Look at 'em. Look at your phones!
427
00:16:36,283 --> 00:16:38,984
What is Paula doing, anyway?
428
00:16:40,949 --> 00:16:43,250
(groaning)
429
00:16:45,282 --> 00:16:46,881
(exhales)
430
00:16:47,260 --> 00:16:48,868
Morning.
431
00:16:49,752 --> 00:16:51,919
Hi-eee.
432
00:16:52,421 --> 00:16:54,354
(sighs)
433
00:16:58,069 --> 00:16:59,768
Oh...
434
00:16:59,933 --> 00:17:02,600
I have a date with
Jason when I get back.
435
00:17:03,009 --> 00:17:05,751
Mmm. I have an actual date. Look at me.
436
00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:07,376
I am.
437
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,935
Oh. Okay.
438
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,613
(groans) All right.
439
00:17:12,957 --> 00:17:14,791
I got to go... Mm.
440
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,134
... see Naomi. Oh.
441
00:17:17,473 --> 00:17:21,809
Mm. I'm so glad that I'm staying
here and not with her, you know?
442
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:24,434
It's just... it's just
so much, uh, easier
443
00:17:24,459 --> 00:17:26,159
and more convenient. Sorry.
444
00:17:26,184 --> 00:17:27,394
You telling her the truth today?
445
00:17:27,419 --> 00:17:29,871
Yes. Because honesty is important to me.
446
00:17:29,919 --> 00:17:31,418
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, also, could I borrow
447
00:17:31,443 --> 00:17:33,543
a dress? She will hate
everything I brought.
448
00:17:36,492 --> 00:17:38,592
♪ ♪
449
00:17:39,741 --> 00:17:40,761
NAOMI: Wow!
450
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:42,129
You look great!
451
00:17:42,242 --> 00:17:43,608
You borrowed that dress
452
00:17:43,633 --> 00:17:45,933
- from that skinny friend of yours?
- No.
453
00:17:45,958 --> 00:17:48,392
Wait. I'm honest now. Yes.
454
00:17:49,207 --> 00:17:51,708
Whoa, boy.
455
00:17:52,182 --> 00:17:54,115
♪ ♪
456
00:18:10,927 --> 00:18:12,927
Well, if it isn't the Bunch girls.
457
00:18:12,995 --> 00:18:14,228
Hello, Marilyn. (sighs)
458
00:18:14,297 --> 00:18:17,054
- Audra.
- Rebecca, my dear, how are you?
459
00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:19,913
You haven't seen Audra
in a while, have you?
460
00:18:19,938 --> 00:18:22,338
Well, here she is.
461
00:18:22,363 --> 00:18:24,695
She's having triplets. All boys.
462
00:18:24,850 --> 00:18:26,450
She and David had to move into
463
00:18:26,475 --> 00:18:29,176
an even bigger Tribeca apartment.
464
00:18:29,201 --> 00:18:31,140
Mother, I can speak for myself.
465
00:18:31,309 --> 00:18:33,824
I'm having triplets. All boys.
466
00:18:33,849 --> 00:18:36,951
David and I had to move into an
even bigger Tribeca apartment.
467
00:18:38,257 --> 00:18:39,557
How are you, Rebecca?
468
00:18:39,582 --> 00:18:40,948
Oh, she's doing great.
469
00:18:40,973 --> 00:18:43,082
She's a senior partner at her law firm.
470
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:45,156
Audra, you're still a
junior partner, I believe.
471
00:18:45,445 --> 00:18:46,445
Well...
472
00:18:46,569 --> 00:18:48,002
Now,
473
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:50,827
on to the planning
committee meeting. Ladies.
474
00:18:54,209 --> 00:18:56,303
Well, the menu looks good.
475
00:18:56,372 --> 00:18:59,340
Uh, so, do we know if Elayne Boosler
476
00:18:59,365 --> 00:19:01,535
has any dietary restrictions?
477
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,791
Yeah, she never got back to us.
478
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:06,135
She e-mailed me. She's
allergic to dairy, of course.
479
00:19:06,649 --> 00:19:07,881
(whispers): Jewish.
480
00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:08,849
(chuckles) Oh.
481
00:19:08,918 --> 00:19:10,117
(chuckles) Right?
482
00:19:10,142 --> 00:19:12,342
And, Naomi, have you found
something to wear yet?
483
00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:14,292
I could lend you something.
484
00:19:14,474 --> 00:19:18,486
Or there's a wonderful new
consignment store in Rye.
485
00:19:18,511 --> 00:19:20,878
Oh, Marilyn, don't you worry.
I found something gorgeous.
486
00:19:21,058 --> 00:19:22,257
Size two.
487
00:19:23,253 --> 00:19:25,383
You know, I think it's so wonderful
488
00:19:25,408 --> 00:19:26,807
that you can bring Rebecca.
489
00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:28,662
Since neither of you have husbands.
490
00:19:28,695 --> 00:19:30,595
- Well, Rebecca's had your husband.
- REBECCA: Okay,
491
00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:31,686
ladies, do we have to be
492
00:19:31,711 --> 00:19:33,986
- so catty all the time?
- Who's being catty?
493
00:19:34,011 --> 00:19:36,077
I'm very happy for these
two about their husbands.
494
00:19:36,102 --> 00:19:37,635
Audra's husband has a small penis,
495
00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:39,493
and Marilyn's husband
has droopy testicles.
496
00:19:39,518 --> 00:19:41,048
(Naomi laughing)
497
00:19:41,117 --> 00:19:42,316
I'm not saying
498
00:19:42,341 --> 00:19:44,107
how I know this, but, uh...
499
00:19:44,132 --> 00:19:46,571
I may also know that he
likes having them tickled.
500
00:19:48,489 --> 00:19:50,255
What?
501
00:19:57,133 --> 00:19:59,233
(sighs)
502
00:19:59,302 --> 00:20:01,088
Tim! Jim!
503
00:20:04,351 --> 00:20:05,683
Baseball is fun.
504
00:20:05,708 --> 00:20:07,207
I like lemonade. Do you?
505
00:20:07,232 --> 00:20:08,915
Guys, where's Paula? She's AWOL again.
506
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:11,307
I don't know. She's
not at the county jail
507
00:20:11,332 --> 00:20:14,667
doing pro Bono work for inmates
while she's on the clock.
508
00:20:20,456 --> 00:20:22,235
I-I said she's not.
509
00:20:23,108 --> 00:20:25,708
This is why I don't tell you my secrets.
510
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,726
(knocking)
511
00:20:30,081 --> 00:20:32,732
- Oh. Hey, Josh.
- Hey, Darryl.
512
00:20:32,757 --> 00:20:34,524
I was just walking by with Hebby,
513
00:20:34,549 --> 00:20:36,190
and I thought maybe Rebecca
might want to see her,
514
00:20:36,215 --> 00:20:38,193
(chuckles): since, well...
since she's never acknowledged
515
00:20:38,218 --> 00:20:40,452
or spent time with
her genetic offspring.
516
00:20:40,603 --> 00:20:42,369
Well, she's out of town.
517
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:47,076
Jiminy Christmas!
518
00:20:47,101 --> 00:20:49,601
What's happened here?
519
00:20:49,952 --> 00:20:51,352
Oh, Josh.
520
00:20:51,377 --> 00:20:53,242
Oh, this is sopping wet!
521
00:20:53,267 --> 00:20:55,733
Yeah, yeah, it is.
Apparently, comforters take,
522
00:20:55,758 --> 00:20:57,381
like, a million dryer cycles.
523
00:20:57,406 --> 00:20:58,503
Mm-hmm. (scoffs)
524
00:20:58,851 --> 00:21:01,018
Darryl, I was so
excited to be on my own,
525
00:21:01,043 --> 00:21:03,077
but I don't know how to do anything.
526
00:21:03,189 --> 00:21:06,023
I'm just...
dumb-dumb-dummy Josh.
527
00:21:06,048 --> 00:21:07,948
Josh, calm down. It's okay.
528
00:21:07,973 --> 00:21:09,637
This happened to me when I got divorced.
529
00:21:09,662 --> 00:21:11,895
I'd never lived on my own
without a woman either.
530
00:21:11,964 --> 00:21:13,163
You can do it.
531
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:15,255
Really? Will you help me?
532
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,080
- Of course!
- Oh, my God, really?
533
00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:18,335
(chuckles) Yay!
534
00:21:18,404 --> 00:21:19,603
(chuckles) Right now?
535
00:21:19,672 --> 00:21:21,238
Sure! All right.
536
00:21:21,307 --> 00:21:23,273
♪ ♪
537
00:21:23,342 --> 00:21:24,841
Okay.
538
00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:25,866
Here we go.
539
00:21:25,891 --> 00:21:27,424
Now, just follow my advice,
540
00:21:27,449 --> 00:21:28,848
and it'll be a breeze!
541
00:21:29,929 --> 00:21:30,661
Okay!
542
00:21:30,686 --> 00:21:32,620
♪ ♪
543
00:21:38,691 --> 00:21:39,957
All right! Now we're ready!
544
00:21:40,025 --> 00:21:41,025
Yeah!
545
00:21:41,060 --> 00:21:42,659
Okay, here we go!
546
00:21:42,728 --> 00:21:44,928
♪ If you see something ♪
547
00:21:44,997 --> 00:21:46,930
♪ That's not where it belongs ♪
548
00:21:46,955 --> 00:21:48,721
♪ Just pick it up ♪
549
00:21:48,746 --> 00:21:50,779
♪ And put it where it belongs. ♪
550
00:21:51,362 --> 00:21:52,269
Okay?
551
00:21:52,294 --> 00:21:54,761
And just keep doing that
until the whole room is clean.
552
00:21:54,917 --> 00:21:57,351
What? Wait, I-I thought we
were gonna do a whole thing,
553
00:21:57,376 --> 00:21:59,209
where you teach me how to clean up.
554
00:21:59,311 --> 00:22:00,677
Josh, what am I, your maid?
555
00:22:00,746 --> 00:22:02,346
Just use your common sense.
556
00:22:02,612 --> 00:22:03,845
See ya.
557
00:22:05,517 --> 00:22:06,450
Darryl.
558
00:22:06,475 --> 00:22:08,409
(door closes)
559
00:22:10,856 --> 00:22:12,856
(fish tank bubbling)
560
00:22:12,925 --> 00:22:13,925
(sighs)
561
00:22:19,151 --> 00:22:22,843
So, the public defender is
a wee bit slow to respond.
562
00:22:22,868 --> 00:22:25,030
You think? By the time
that dude gets back to us,
563
00:22:25,055 --> 00:22:26,321
my sentence will be over.
564
00:22:27,773 --> 00:22:29,380
Paula, what are we gonna do?
565
00:22:29,405 --> 00:22:30,938
Well, what we have to do is...
566
00:22:30,963 --> 00:22:33,664
(lock buzzes)
567
00:22:33,689 --> 00:22:34,689
(quietly): Oh, crap.
568
00:22:36,504 --> 00:22:37,970
Nathaniel, look, I'm sorry.
569
00:22:37,995 --> 00:22:39,306
I should have told you I was here.
570
00:22:39,331 --> 00:22:40,818
And, yes, I was skipping out
571
00:22:40,843 --> 00:22:42,621
on company time, but it was
for a very good reason...
572
00:22:42,646 --> 00:22:45,011
You must be Nicky. Hello.
573
00:22:45,036 --> 00:22:47,528
I'm Nathaniel Plimpton III.
I'd like to represent you.
574
00:22:49,421 --> 00:22:51,188
You want to be my lawyer?
575
00:22:51,213 --> 00:22:52,012
Mm-hmm.
576
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:53,707
With that hair
577
00:22:53,732 --> 00:22:55,314
and that name and that suit?
578
00:22:55,339 --> 00:22:56,404
It would be my pleasure.
579
00:22:56,779 --> 00:22:58,479
But first things first, who wants to see
580
00:22:58,504 --> 00:23:01,872
an adorable photo of
me at a pumpkin patch?
581
00:23:03,273 --> 00:23:04,639
(chuckles)
582
00:23:06,879 --> 00:23:08,880
Oh. Okay.
583
00:23:10,215 --> 00:23:11,982
(door closes)
584
00:23:12,051 --> 00:23:14,051
God, Mom, those women,
585
00:23:14,076 --> 00:23:15,943
they're so mean.
586
00:23:15,968 --> 00:23:17,434
Of course they're mean.
587
00:23:17,633 --> 00:23:19,166
Do you think the world
588
00:23:19,191 --> 00:23:20,791
of nonprofit Jewish women's charities
589
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,916
is a warm, cozy place? (laughs)
590
00:23:23,028 --> 00:23:24,504
Anyway, this week,
591
00:23:24,529 --> 00:23:26,911
it doesn't bother me, because I am
592
00:23:26,936 --> 00:23:28,769
being honored.
593
00:23:28,794 --> 00:23:31,070
For one day, I'll be on top.
594
00:23:31,095 --> 00:23:32,361
- (phone vibrates)
- Ooh.
595
00:23:32,386 --> 00:23:33,619
Got an e-mail.
596
00:23:33,644 --> 00:23:35,410
You get notifications for e-mails?
597
00:23:35,435 --> 00:23:37,068
That's how e-mails work, Rebecca.
598
00:23:37,236 --> 00:23:38,435
Oh, no.
599
00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:40,220
These letters are so small. (sighs)
600
00:23:40,245 --> 00:23:41,678
I can't read this. What does it say?
601
00:23:41,747 --> 00:23:43,780
Right. Wow, these letters are... huge.
602
00:23:43,805 --> 00:23:46,339
- Oh, just read it. (sighs)
- Okay.
603
00:23:47,198 --> 00:23:49,886
So, it's from Elayne
Boosler's assistant.
604
00:23:49,911 --> 00:23:51,023
Uh-huh.
605
00:23:52,463 --> 00:23:54,835
It says, "Elayne does not remember you.
606
00:23:54,860 --> 00:23:57,026
Please stop inundating
us with e-mails."
607
00:23:57,815 --> 00:23:59,272
Mom.
608
00:23:59,297 --> 00:24:02,443
Oh, you said she was
coming. You told everyone.
609
00:24:02,512 --> 00:24:05,355
- We hadn't exactly connected yet,
- (quietly): Oh, God.
610
00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:06,824
But I was sure that she would show up.
611
00:24:06,849 --> 00:24:08,635
I mean, she's a Camp Kavetcha girl.
612
00:24:08,874 --> 00:24:10,707
It's in the camp song.
613
00:24:10,776 --> 00:24:13,455
We stick together. (exhales)
614
00:24:13,585 --> 00:24:15,385
Yeah, well, clearly not this time.
615
00:24:16,615 --> 00:24:18,555
Oh, my God. (sighs)
616
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,701
Okay, Mom, I have an idea.
617
00:24:24,890 --> 00:24:27,090
I'll introduce you, hmm?
618
00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:29,441
Yeah. I'll say the things.
619
00:24:29,466 --> 00:24:31,165
I'll write a whole speech.
620
00:24:33,065 --> 00:24:34,373
You're no Elayne Boosler.
621
00:24:34,398 --> 00:24:35,798
No.
622
00:24:35,823 --> 00:24:37,613
But...
623
00:24:38,170 --> 00:24:39,903
I'm your daughter,
624
00:24:39,928 --> 00:24:41,461
and...
625
00:24:41,486 --> 00:24:43,219
I'm proud of you.
626
00:24:43,592 --> 00:24:45,392
You giving the speech.
627
00:24:45,660 --> 00:24:47,079
Well...
628
00:24:48,147 --> 00:24:50,747
you are a partner in your own law firm.
629
00:24:51,850 --> 00:24:54,584
(inhales) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay.
630
00:24:54,653 --> 00:24:55,874
Oh, boy.
631
00:24:55,899 --> 00:24:58,566
All right, now that you
brought it up, uh, Mom,
632
00:24:58,724 --> 00:25:01,458
I was really hoping to tell you
something when you were up here,
633
00:25:01,527 --> 00:25:03,527
but now you're more here.
But maybe that's good,
634
00:25:03,552 --> 00:25:06,220
because you and I can live
in the reality of my life
635
00:25:06,375 --> 00:25:08,475
and your life.
636
00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:11,601
Okay? Um, Mom...
637
00:25:12,783 --> 00:25:14,950
... I'm not a lawyer anymore.
638
00:25:18,243 --> 00:25:19,280
You got disbarred?
639
00:25:19,305 --> 00:25:22,240
No. No.
640
00:25:23,262 --> 00:25:24,795
I quit.
641
00:25:25,317 --> 00:25:27,784
It was always something
you wanted for me.
642
00:25:27,809 --> 00:25:29,675
It was never what I wanted for myself.
643
00:25:29,788 --> 00:25:31,054
Ever.
644
00:25:31,790 --> 00:25:34,373
And now...
645
00:25:35,738 --> 00:25:38,339
I run a small,
unprofitable pretzel stand.
646
00:25:39,739 --> 00:25:41,372
And I'm happy.
647
00:25:43,018 --> 00:25:44,605
(exhales): Okay.
648
00:25:45,786 --> 00:25:47,786
So, let's just sit
with that for a minute.
649
00:25:56,293 --> 00:25:57,370
***
650
00:25:57,395 --> 00:25:58,705
but it feels really good to tell you.
651
00:25:58,729 --> 00:26:00,062
Because now I can be myself,
652
00:26:00,087 --> 00:26:02,521
and I don't have to put
up a facade all night.
653
00:26:02,677 --> 00:26:03,743
What do you mean?
654
00:26:03,768 --> 00:26:04,812
Well, now I don't have to lie
655
00:26:04,836 --> 00:26:06,035
to all your awful friends.
656
00:26:06,104 --> 00:26:07,303
Wait, wait, wait.
657
00:26:07,415 --> 00:26:08,748
You want to tell people the truth?
658
00:26:08,773 --> 00:26:10,739
At my event? (laughs)
659
00:26:10,988 --> 00:26:13,299
Absolutely no way.
660
00:26:13,324 --> 00:26:14,523
Forget it.
661
00:26:14,592 --> 00:26:15,982
You hear me?
662
00:26:16,129 --> 00:26:17,228
Forget it.
663
00:26:17,695 --> 00:26:18,895
You're an ungrateful daughter,
664
00:26:18,963 --> 00:26:20,274
and you're throwing your life away.
665
00:26:20,298 --> 00:26:21,564
♪
♪ (distorted): Do you hear me?
666
00:26:21,589 --> 00:26:24,390
You are throwing your life away.
667
00:26:24,415 --> 00:26:26,749
♪ ♪
668
00:26:42,186 --> 00:26:44,920
♪ So you want I should be
known as the mother of a loser ♪
669
00:26:44,989 --> 00:26:46,789
♪ Loser, loser ♪
670
00:26:46,858 --> 00:26:47,968
♪ Meet my daughter, former lawyer ♪
671
00:26:47,992 --> 00:26:49,492
♪ Now a failure, please excuse her ♪
672
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,093
♪ Excuse her, excuse her ♪
673
00:26:51,162 --> 00:26:53,106
♪ And you want that I should see
the look upon the rabbi's face ♪
674
00:26:53,130 --> 00:26:55,064
♪ Rabbi's face, rabbi's face ♪
675
00:26:55,132 --> 00:26:58,000
♪ When she learns that Miss Ivy
League Attorney's a disgrace ♪
676
00:26:58,069 --> 00:26:59,535
♪ Disgrace, disgrace ♪
677
00:26:59,604 --> 00:27:02,438
♪ Forget it, forget it, you
can just forget it, forget it ♪
678
00:27:02,507 --> 00:27:04,974
♪ You can just forget it ♪
♪ Forget it, forget it ♪
679
00:27:05,042 --> 00:27:06,675
♪ You can just
forget it, forget it ♪
680
00:27:06,744 --> 00:27:08,477
♪ You can just forget it ♪
681
00:27:08,546 --> 00:27:10,980
♪ In your search for happiness,
you never thought of me ♪
682
00:27:11,048 --> 00:27:12,681
♪ Forget it ♪
683
00:27:12,750 --> 00:27:15,818
♪ You haven't caused me so
much pain since my episiotomy ♪
684
00:27:15,887 --> 00:27:17,286
♪ Forget it ♪
685
00:27:17,355 --> 00:27:18,899
♪ So you want that
I should throw away ♪
686
00:27:18,923 --> 00:27:21,657
♪ My sterling
reputation, forget it ♪
687
00:27:21,726 --> 00:27:24,093
♪ While you blab about
your new bohemian vocation ♪
688
00:27:24,161 --> 00:27:25,628
♪ Vocation, vocation ♪
689
00:27:25,696 --> 00:27:28,597
♪ Forget it, forget it, you
can just forget it, forget it ♪
690
00:27:28,666 --> 00:27:30,132
♪ You can just forget it ♪
691
00:27:30,201 --> 00:27:33,302
♪ Forget it, forget it, you
can just forget it, forget it ♪
692
00:27:33,371 --> 00:27:34,603
♪ You can just forget it ♪
693
00:27:34,672 --> 00:27:36,083
♪ You want to throw
your life away? ♪
694
00:27:36,107 --> 00:27:38,173
♪ Go ahead, sure ♪
695
00:27:38,242 --> 00:27:40,709
♪ Oy, what am I gonna tell Emilio ♪
696
00:27:40,778 --> 00:27:42,278
♪ At the frame store? ♪
697
00:27:45,349 --> 00:27:47,327
♪ Moms always worry about
what semi-strangers gonna say ♪
698
00:27:47,351 --> 00:27:49,718
♪ And they're right, we
think about it all day ♪
699
00:27:49,787 --> 00:27:51,565
♪ We judging you, we
don't have our own lives ♪
700
00:27:51,589 --> 00:27:53,989
♪ You're more important than
our own kids and our own wives ♪
701
00:27:54,058 --> 00:27:55,925
♪ God, I made Rebecca's
graduation collage ♪
702
00:27:55,993 --> 00:27:58,460
♪ But I guess her success
was just a mirage ♪
703
00:27:58,529 --> 00:28:00,329
♪ Damn, Naomi, thought
you was a good mom ♪
704
00:28:00,398 --> 00:28:03,027
♪ I'm gonna mess up all
your frames from now on ♪
705
00:28:03,559 --> 00:28:05,901
♪ Moms don't suffer
tsuris and pain ♪
706
00:28:05,970 --> 00:28:08,037
♪ To have their daughters
bring them shame ♪
707
00:28:08,105 --> 00:28:10,205
♪ Moms don't suffer
tsuris and pain ♪
708
00:28:10,274 --> 00:28:12,408
♪ To have their daughters
bring them shame ♪
709
00:28:12,433 --> 00:28:13,599
♪ Forget it ♪
710
00:28:14,579 --> 00:28:15,711
♪ Forget it ♪
711
00:28:16,714 --> 00:28:17,880
♪ Forget about it ♪
712
00:28:18,916 --> 00:28:20,883
♪ Everything's fine ♪
713
00:28:20,952 --> 00:28:22,461
♪ Forget it! ♪
714
00:28:23,137 --> 00:28:23,969
But, Mom...
715
00:28:24,109 --> 00:28:25,442
Forget it.
716
00:28:25,741 --> 00:28:27,307
(sighs)
717
00:28:30,962 --> 00:28:33,028
NATHANIEL: Statute 88B limits the use
718
00:28:33,097 --> 00:28:34,930
of warrants in cases where the accused
719
00:28:34,955 --> 00:28:37,422
is unable to appear due to
incarceration or illness.
720
00:28:37,535 --> 00:28:39,335
We'd like to request
that the county waive
721
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:40,773
the additional penalties
722
00:28:40,798 --> 00:28:42,381
and cancel the warrant.
723
00:28:42,406 --> 00:28:43,339
She will pay the original fine.
724
00:28:43,746 --> 00:28:46,108
Yeah, I can't pay the fines.
725
00:28:46,177 --> 00:28:47,621
- (whispers): It's okay. I got it.
- All right, Ms. Warner.
726
00:28:47,645 --> 00:28:49,278
Your attorney makes a valid point.
727
00:28:49,303 --> 00:28:50,947
It costs the state more
to keep you incarcerated.
728
00:28:50,972 --> 00:28:52,972
So pay the fine and you're free to go.
729
00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:54,530
Yes.
730
00:28:54,555 --> 00:28:56,589
(exhales) Yes.
731
00:28:56,787 --> 00:28:58,053
Oh, my God.
732
00:28:58,193 --> 00:28:59,659
What is this feeling I'm having?
733
00:29:00,248 --> 00:29:01,567
Did I just do a good thing?
734
00:29:01,592 --> 00:29:03,425
I think I did. (chuckles): Wow!
735
00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:04,983
That feels great.
736
00:29:05,008 --> 00:29:07,106
I feel all... warm and...
737
00:29:07,131 --> 00:29:08,063
Is this fuzzy?
738
00:29:08,088 --> 00:29:10,422
- Is this what fuzzy is?
- Oh, please.
739
00:29:10,534 --> 00:29:12,401
What you just did is white savior crap.
740
00:29:12,967 --> 00:29:16,238
You can't just sweep in here
and use your checkbook...
741
00:29:16,263 --> 00:29:18,096
I'm actually fine with it.
742
00:29:18,209 --> 00:29:19,786
Yeah, me, too. I just
felt like I should say it.
743
00:29:19,810 --> 00:29:21,276
Nicky, you're free!
744
00:29:21,301 --> 00:29:23,034
Oh, I feel like I took a bath in honey.
745
00:29:23,059 --> 00:29:25,059
(chuckles) I'm almost turned on.
746
00:29:25,216 --> 00:29:27,282
- Yeah, they take cash and check.
- Right.
747
00:29:27,314 --> 00:29:29,348
- So run downstairs and pay.
- Yes.
748
00:29:29,373 --> 00:29:31,373
- Grab my notes.
- Yeah. Run, run.
749
00:29:34,525 --> 00:29:36,125
- Rebecca.
- What?
750
00:29:36,189 --> 00:29:37,493
Stick to the script, okay?
751
00:29:37,561 --> 00:29:39,161
Yeah, lie my face off. I got it.
752
00:29:39,230 --> 00:29:40,562
Always so dramatic.
753
00:29:40,631 --> 00:29:42,231
Shalom!
754
00:29:42,299 --> 00:29:44,233
(phone ringing)
755
00:29:47,145 --> 00:29:48,478
Hey. Is everything okay?
756
00:29:48,503 --> 00:29:50,172
Hey, Becks! Uh, was just wondering
757
00:29:50,241 --> 00:29:52,285
if you needed me to do
anything before you came home.
758
00:29:52,309 --> 00:29:54,243
Turns out I'm good at domestic stuff.
759
00:29:54,311 --> 00:29:55,577
It's not that hard.
760
00:29:55,646 --> 00:29:57,379
You just use Common's sense,
761
00:29:57,448 --> 00:29:59,448
and he's my favorite rapper. (chuckles)
762
00:29:59,517 --> 00:30:01,650
I'm sorry. This trip
is a mess, and I just...
763
00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:03,541
I got to find a way to
get through it somehow.
764
00:30:03,654 --> 00:30:05,788
I came here to tell the
truth to one Jewish mother,
765
00:30:05,813 --> 00:30:07,747
and now I'm lying to
a room full of them.
766
00:30:07,858 --> 00:30:09,726
Oh. Becks, I'm sorry.
767
00:30:09,751 --> 00:30:11,341
No, I-it's fine. Uh, I got to go.
768
00:30:11,395 --> 00:30:12,661
See you soon. Bye.
769
00:30:12,774 --> 00:30:14,507
Okay.
770
00:30:14,532 --> 00:30:15,998
Bye.
771
00:30:17,068 --> 00:30:18,867
Josh, I'm so impressed.
772
00:30:18,936 --> 00:30:20,602
It really does look nice in here.
773
00:30:20,671 --> 00:30:22,304
Oh. It was a lot of work.
774
00:30:22,373 --> 00:30:24,151
Yeah. Well, it turns out
that's what being an adult is.
775
00:30:24,175 --> 00:30:25,175
Lots of work.
776
00:30:25,209 --> 00:30:26,875
She sounds so sad.
777
00:30:26,944 --> 00:30:29,278
I really want to do
something nice for her.
778
00:30:29,303 --> 00:30:31,145
I mean, she let me stay here.
779
00:30:31,170 --> 00:30:34,153
Well, you could get her
some flowers or candy.
780
00:30:34,178 --> 00:30:36,367
Well, I saw something on Quimblepop
781
00:30:36,392 --> 00:30:37,791
I think she'd really like.
782
00:30:39,416 --> 00:30:40,656
Okay, she loves autumn,
783
00:30:40,681 --> 00:30:43,114
and they have these
murals at the paint store.
784
00:30:43,139 --> 00:30:44,739
It's really easy. All I have to do
785
00:30:44,764 --> 00:30:46,205
is pre-trim the image,
786
00:30:46,230 --> 00:30:48,163
measure and etch
guidelines onto the wall,
787
00:30:48,232 --> 00:30:50,032
apply the paste, double-cut the seams,
788
00:30:50,101 --> 00:30:51,834
put up the panels, trim the overage,
789
00:30:51,859 --> 00:30:54,160
remove the excess paste, and voilà!
790
00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:55,985
Josh, you just learned
how to use tinfoil.
791
00:30:56,010 --> 00:30:57,142
No, you're wrong, okay?
792
00:30:57,167 --> 00:30:58,433
I'm a new man.
793
00:30:58,676 --> 00:31:00,275
I can do stuff.
794
00:31:00,566 --> 00:31:01,732
Ask Estrella.
795
00:31:04,423 --> 00:31:05,855
Oh.
796
00:31:06,619 --> 00:31:08,227
On my way to the paint store,
797
00:31:08,252 --> 00:31:09,706
I'll stop by the pet store.
798
00:31:16,994 --> 00:31:18,594
(sighs) Mm.
799
00:31:18,662 --> 00:31:21,363
So sad about Elayne Boosler.
800
00:31:21,388 --> 00:31:22,377
AUDRA: Oh.
801
00:31:22,402 --> 00:31:24,833
You know, I personally
never thought she was coming.
802
00:31:24,858 --> 00:31:26,499
Well...
803
00:31:27,171 --> 00:31:28,771
I have better than Boosler.
804
00:31:28,839 --> 00:31:30,105
I have my daughter.
805
00:31:30,174 --> 00:31:31,774
Big-shot lawyer.
806
00:31:31,842 --> 00:31:32,975
- Oh.
- Sure.
807
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,467
Mm. (chuckles)
808
00:31:34,578 --> 00:31:36,712
(applause)
809
00:31:38,168 --> 00:31:41,717
Uh, hello, everyone. Welcome.
Shalom, shalom, shalom.
810
00:31:41,786 --> 00:31:45,231
I am, uh, thrilled to be here
811
00:31:45,256 --> 00:31:48,324
at this event honoring my mother.
812
00:31:48,349 --> 00:31:51,606
I would like to start out by telling
you a little bit about myself
813
00:31:51,631 --> 00:31:55,274
and what a great influence
814
00:31:55,299 --> 00:31:56,776
my mother has had
815
00:31:56,801 --> 00:31:59,769
on my life and my, uh...
816
00:32:00,884 --> 00:32:02,784
career.
817
00:32:04,464 --> 00:32:06,197
(whispers): Is that... ?
818
00:32:07,111 --> 00:32:09,144
Uh, ladies, I-I, uh...
819
00:32:09,213 --> 00:32:11,323
I will be right back.
820
00:32:11,348 --> 00:32:12,948
Please excuse me for one moment.
821
00:32:15,740 --> 00:32:18,207
What? Elayne Boosler. How did you... ?
822
00:32:18,399 --> 00:32:20,666
I called, said if she didn't show up,
823
00:32:20,691 --> 00:32:22,369
you were gonna have
to go out there and lie
824
00:32:22,393 --> 00:32:25,494
- and undo a lot of the work you've
done on yourself. - That's bull.
825
00:32:25,563 --> 00:32:27,340
She promised me another
gig her company is doing,
826
00:32:27,365 --> 00:32:29,933
a Radio City benefit
for some Internet weenie.
827
00:32:29,958 --> 00:32:32,225
The pay is great.
828
00:32:32,380 --> 00:32:34,947
Wait, do you actually know my mother?
829
00:32:34,972 --> 00:32:36,638
Of course.
Naomi-Know-It-All.
830
00:32:36,663 --> 00:32:39,364
Then why didn't you respond
to her e-mails or phone calls?
831
00:32:39,389 --> 00:32:41,887
Have you met your mother?
She's a pain in the kishkes.
832
00:32:41,912 --> 00:32:44,146
Who wants to do a favor for that?
833
00:32:44,215 --> 00:32:47,486
That's a good point. I owe you one.
834
00:32:48,479 --> 00:32:50,452
Oh, sorry about that, ladies.
835
00:32:50,477 --> 00:32:51,810
You know, I could stand here
836
00:32:51,835 --> 00:32:53,168
and talk to you all night,
837
00:32:53,722 --> 00:32:56,135
but wouldn't you rather hear from...
838
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,193
Elayne Boosler?
839
00:32:58,262 --> 00:32:59,661
She's here?
840
00:32:59,686 --> 00:33:01,753
Elayne is here!
841
00:33:01,778 --> 00:33:03,210
What?
842
00:33:04,577 --> 00:33:06,944
Hello, everybody. Happy to be here.
843
00:33:08,422 --> 00:33:12,982
Nothing I'd rather do than talk
about my dear, sweet, close,
844
00:33:13,030 --> 00:33:14,990
personal friend Naomi.
845
00:33:15,015 --> 00:33:16,848
Come on up, Naomi.
846
00:33:16,873 --> 00:33:19,941
- (applause)
- Oh!
847
00:33:19,966 --> 00:33:21,688
You know, when Naomi reached out
848
00:33:21,713 --> 00:33:23,729
and asked me to talk tonight, my answer
849
00:33:23,754 --> 00:33:25,254
was an automatic yes,
850
00:33:25,279 --> 00:33:29,538
because Camp Kavetcha girls
are always there for each other.
851
00:33:29,563 --> 00:33:30,962
Elayne, I'm so thrilled to see you.
852
00:33:30,987 --> 00:33:32,405
- Thank you for coming.
- Of course.
853
00:33:32,429 --> 00:33:34,229
- Are we gonna sing the song?
- You bet your pupik
854
00:33:34,265 --> 00:33:35,831
we're gonna sing that damned song.
855
00:33:35,856 --> 00:33:38,362
- Yes! You ready?
- Mm-hmm.
856
00:33:38,562 --> 00:33:43,405
♪ If you ever need
a favor in 50 years ♪
857
00:33:43,430 --> 00:33:46,264
- ♪ Just call a Camp Kavetcha girl ♪
- (Rebecca chuckles)
858
00:33:46,401 --> 00:33:48,801
♪ If you're crying off your
makeup with all your tears ♪
859
00:33:48,826 --> 00:33:51,860
♪ Just call a Camp Kavetcha girl ♪
860
00:33:51,949 --> 00:33:54,182
- ♪ No matter what the issue ♪
- ♪ She always has a tissue ♪
861
00:33:54,251 --> 00:33:56,652
♪ She keeps them in her Prada bag ♪
862
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:58,020
♪ No matter if you wanna scream ♪
863
00:33:58,088 --> 00:33:59,399
♪ Or you need some wrinkle cream ♪
864
00:33:59,423 --> 00:34:02,257
ELAYNE: ♪ She also keeps
it in her Prada bag ♪
865
00:34:02,282 --> 00:34:05,117
♪ If you ever need
a favor in 50 years ♪
866
00:34:05,142 --> 00:34:07,374
♪ Just call a Camp Kavetcha girl ♪
867
00:34:07,531 --> 00:34:10,232
♪ If you're ever paralyzed
by your deepest fears ♪
868
00:34:10,301 --> 00:34:12,601
♪ Just call a Camp Kavetcha girl ♪
869
00:34:12,714 --> 00:34:14,313
♪ If you're honored
for your mitzvahs ♪
870
00:34:14,338 --> 00:34:15,737
♪ Call a Camp Kavetcha sister ♪
871
00:34:15,806 --> 00:34:17,117
♪ If she's famous
and she's distant ♪
872
00:34:17,141 --> 00:34:18,540
♪ Get in touch with her assistant ♪
873
00:34:18,609 --> 00:34:21,376
- NAOMI: ♪ If you still can't find her ♪
- (chuckles)
874
00:34:21,445 --> 00:34:24,046
♪ Have your daughter's
goyish friend remind her ♪
875
00:34:24,114 --> 00:34:29,117
♪ That when you're in
a pinch, we'll getcha ♪
876
00:34:29,186 --> 00:34:30,730
♪ 'Cause we're always
there, you betcha ♪
877
00:34:30,754 --> 00:34:31,954
♪ I'm so glad I metcha ♪
878
00:34:32,056 --> 00:34:33,555
♪ Here at swanky Camp Kavetcha ♪
879
00:34:33,624 --> 00:34:35,064
♪ If you need me,
I'll come running ♪
880
00:34:35,125 --> 00:34:36,569
♪ 'Cause our parents
spent the money ♪
881
00:34:36,593 --> 00:34:38,226
♪ To make us all ♪
882
00:34:38,295 --> 00:34:42,864
♪ Camp Kavetcha girls... ♪
883
00:34:42,933 --> 00:34:46,168
- ♪ My dad's a banker ♪
- ♪ My dad's a dentist. ♪
884
00:34:48,801 --> 00:34:51,735
Wow, that song was
dead-on to this situation.
885
00:34:58,686 --> 00:35:00,629
And so, after the camp song,
886
00:35:00,654 --> 00:35:01,898
then you told everyone the truth?
887
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,046
Nope.
Nuh-uh. Mm-mm.
888
00:35:05,115 --> 00:35:09,017
No one. I thought about
it, but then it hit me.
889
00:35:09,130 --> 00:35:12,598
I don't need to tell everyone
everything all the time.
890
00:35:12,623 --> 00:35:13,755
I mean, really,
891
00:35:13,824 --> 00:35:16,491
using my mug shot as
my dating profile pic?
892
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,527
What's-what's that about?
893
00:35:18,595 --> 00:35:20,829
I mean, I don't need outside approval
894
00:35:20,898 --> 00:35:23,565
from others, and I certainly
don't need outside judgment
895
00:35:23,634 --> 00:35:26,134
from people I frankly don't care about.
896
00:35:26,945 --> 00:35:28,712
I know who I am now.
897
00:35:29,003 --> 00:35:30,560
Finally.
898
00:35:31,775 --> 00:35:34,097
- It's so freeing.
- (knock on door)
899
00:35:34,122 --> 00:35:35,688
I'll get it.
900
00:35:39,273 --> 00:35:40,615
Mom?
901
00:35:40,684 --> 00:35:43,084
We showed everyone, huh?
Huh? Oh, hello, Valencia.
902
00:35:43,153 --> 00:35:45,120
And girlfriend. Wow, are you cute.
903
00:35:45,189 --> 00:35:48,256
Like your hair. We're friends now.
904
00:35:48,325 --> 00:35:49,524
Okay. I...
905
00:35:49,593 --> 00:35:51,693
Mom, what are you doing here?
906
00:35:51,762 --> 00:35:53,966
We need to talk about
your career at the firm.
907
00:35:53,991 --> 00:35:56,097
- What? I don't work at a firm.
- But you will.
908
00:35:56,166 --> 00:35:57,410
I scheduled a conference call with them.
909
00:35:57,434 --> 00:35:59,968
It's called Mountain something now.
910
00:35:59,993 --> 00:36:02,393
Anyway, I reached a senior
partner, Bert Buttenweiser.
911
00:36:02,490 --> 00:36:03,722
Nice man.
912
00:36:03,807 --> 00:36:05,774
Told me all about his
seven dead sisters.
913
00:36:05,843 --> 00:36:07,242
Wait, wait, Mom, what did you do?
914
00:36:07,311 --> 00:36:09,878
He said that he will take you
back if that's what you wanted,
915
00:36:09,947 --> 00:36:12,380
that they could use
you, and then I asked
916
00:36:12,449 --> 00:36:13,860
if you could be partner
again, of course,
917
00:36:13,884 --> 00:36:15,250
- and he said absolu...
- Enough!
918
00:36:15,319 --> 00:36:18,377
Wow. That's enough.
919
00:36:22,793 --> 00:36:24,826
So, I took a look at Hanifa's case,
920
00:36:24,851 --> 00:36:26,731
and I have some thoughts
on that, as well. Okay.
921
00:36:26,756 --> 00:36:30,925
Hold on. Why are you
doing this? This nice kick,
922
00:36:30,950 --> 00:36:32,594
is this just another
scheme to get Rebecca back?
923
00:36:32,619 --> 00:36:35,013
(scoffs) Is that what you think?
924
00:36:35,038 --> 00:36:36,471
That's what the whole office thinks.
925
00:36:37,367 --> 00:36:39,259
Hundo "P."
926
00:36:41,562 --> 00:36:43,277
Maybe it started that way.
927
00:36:43,847 --> 00:36:45,447
When she and I split up for good,
928
00:36:45,515 --> 00:36:48,350
she said some tough things about me,
929
00:36:48,375 --> 00:36:50,576
and they were true.
930
00:36:50,601 --> 00:36:52,200
She was right.
931
00:36:53,238 --> 00:36:55,490
So I decided to try and be nicer,
932
00:36:55,559 --> 00:36:58,493
but, um, pumpkin photos don't cut it.
933
00:36:58,562 --> 00:37:00,798
And now I know
934
00:37:00,823 --> 00:37:02,789
that there's stuff I can do.
935
00:37:03,591 --> 00:37:05,210
And I like it.
936
00:37:05,577 --> 00:37:07,258
Okay.
937
00:37:07,604 --> 00:37:10,205
Okay. I buy all that.
938
00:37:10,274 --> 00:37:13,842
Also, it turns out there is a
shocking amount of unfairness
939
00:37:13,867 --> 00:37:16,567
in the legal system. Did you know that?
940
00:37:16,592 --> 00:37:18,078
No, I didn't.
941
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:19,919
No one did.
942
00:37:20,027 --> 00:37:21,627
Thank God you figured it out.
943
00:37:21,652 --> 00:37:23,184
Yeah.
944
00:37:25,790 --> 00:37:28,197
Mom, it's over. Excuse me?
945
00:37:28,222 --> 00:37:31,757
It's over. The old Rebecca
let you manipulate her,
946
00:37:31,782 --> 00:37:34,155
but not anymore. I don't
want your opinion anymore.
947
00:37:34,180 --> 00:37:36,180
I don't want your opinion on my career,
948
00:37:36,500 --> 00:37:39,013
on my hair, on my
clothes, on my love life.
949
00:37:39,038 --> 00:37:40,338
Nothing.
950
00:37:40,363 --> 00:37:42,363
They are my choices,
951
00:37:42,806 --> 00:37:46,474
and as of right now, they
are off-limits to you.
952
00:37:46,543 --> 00:37:48,743
Okay? So, look,
953
00:37:48,768 --> 00:37:50,434
we can chat, we can still gossip,
954
00:37:50,459 --> 00:37:51,970
we can kibitz, we can
go out for a schmear,
955
00:37:51,995 --> 00:37:53,228
but that's it.
956
00:37:53,253 --> 00:37:54,920
I wish we could hide in the other room,
957
00:37:54,945 --> 00:37:56,751
but there isn't one.
958
00:37:56,776 --> 00:37:58,809
I am so proud of her.
959
00:37:58,834 --> 00:38:01,835
I can't look 'cause
I'm Waspy, but so proud.
960
00:38:01,959 --> 00:38:04,626
Now, you respect me and my boundaries,
961
00:38:04,822 --> 00:38:07,956
or we will have no relationship at all.
962
00:38:09,129 --> 00:38:11,095
Do I make myself clear?
963
00:38:13,366 --> 00:38:14,751
Crystal.
964
00:38:16,636 --> 00:38:19,162
(breathes deeply)
965
00:38:26,424 --> 00:38:30,356
Hello. I'm back from Jew Hell.
966
00:38:30,999 --> 00:38:32,565
Which is nothing,
967
00:38:32,634 --> 00:38:35,335
'cause Jews don't
technically believe in Hell...
968
00:38:35,403 --> 00:38:37,503
Oh, wow!
969
00:38:37,528 --> 00:38:40,388
Oh, look at that. Josh.
970
00:38:40,413 --> 00:38:44,877
Autumn. Oh, my God, did
you do that yourself?
971
00:38:44,946 --> 00:38:46,612
Uh, I-I want to say yes,
972
00:38:46,637 --> 00:38:48,425
but I know you're big on honesty,
973
00:38:48,450 --> 00:38:50,486
so the truth is someone else
974
00:38:50,511 --> 00:38:54,413
put it up after I glued my
feet to the floor by accident.
975
00:38:54,438 --> 00:38:55,771
Also, I killed Estrella,
976
00:38:55,796 --> 00:38:57,063
and I got a new one. I'm so sorry.
977
00:38:57,088 --> 00:38:57,921
Oh, don't worry about that.
978
00:38:57,946 --> 00:38:59,468
That's, like, the fourth Estrella.
979
00:38:59,630 --> 00:39:01,630
And hey, hey, Heather doesn't know,
980
00:39:01,655 --> 00:39:03,154
and she never will.
981
00:39:03,522 --> 00:39:05,088
(chuckles softly) Yeah.
982
00:39:05,113 --> 00:39:07,207
God.
983
00:39:07,399 --> 00:39:10,767
Well, I-I should go. Um, I
have to get to the YMCA early
984
00:39:10,792 --> 00:39:12,592
- to get a room so...
- Hey, Josh.
985
00:39:13,141 --> 00:39:15,587
Don't go to the Y. Just stay here.
986
00:39:15,612 --> 00:39:17,412
- Move in.
- Uh, really?
987
00:39:17,484 --> 00:39:19,545
(scoffs) Us? Roommates?
988
00:39:19,570 --> 00:39:21,771
I mean, do you think that's a good idea?
989
00:39:21,796 --> 00:39:23,796
I think most people in the world won't
990
00:39:24,193 --> 00:39:26,293
think that's a good idea. Like...
991
00:39:26,318 --> 00:39:27,784
no one.
992
00:39:27,809 --> 00:39:29,943
True. But you know what?
993
00:39:30,263 --> 00:39:32,363
I no longer care what
other people think.
994
00:39:33,895 --> 00:39:35,050
Screw 'em.
995
00:39:35,225 --> 00:39:38,070
Okay, then. I'd love to.
996
00:39:38,095 --> 00:39:40,293
Then it's settled. Okay.
997
00:39:40,318 --> 00:39:42,184
Oh, I have a date to get ready for.
998
00:39:42,562 --> 00:39:44,128
Let's see where the place is.
999
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:48,718
Oh, no.
1000
00:39:49,310 --> 00:39:51,677
Oh, man, Jason canceled.
1001
00:39:51,746 --> 00:39:52,812
I mean, okay,
1002
00:39:52,881 --> 00:39:54,491
he says he's sick, but...
1003
00:39:55,008 --> 00:39:57,709
he canceled on super short notice,
1004
00:39:57,734 --> 00:40:00,402
- so that means...
- Aw, sorry. Yeah.
1005
00:40:00,434 --> 00:40:02,401
That's such a bummer. I
was really looking forward
1006
00:40:02,426 --> 00:40:03,725
to having plans tonight.
1007
00:40:04,566 --> 00:40:07,470
But you do have plans.
1008
00:40:07,495 --> 00:40:08,828
What are you doing?
1009
00:40:12,734 --> 00:40:15,468
(laughs) Mmm. Oh, no.
1010
00:40:15,493 --> 00:40:17,192
It's too hot!
1011
00:40:17,217 --> 00:40:20,185
(chuckles) Oh, this
is so nice. Thank you.
1012
00:40:20,210 --> 00:40:21,915
Sometimes I forget how nice you can be.
1013
00:40:21,940 --> 00:40:24,274
Yeah. Sometimes I'm not too terrible.
1014
00:40:24,299 --> 00:40:26,799
(both laugh)
1015
00:40:31,074 --> 00:40:33,008
♪ ♪
1016
00:40:40,973 --> 00:40:42,639
Hmm.
1017
00:40:42,828 --> 00:40:44,494
PAULA: Rebecca?
1018
00:40:46,377 --> 00:40:48,277
Rebecca?
1019
00:40:49,364 --> 00:40:51,397
Did you hear what I said?
1020
00:40:52,246 --> 00:40:53,622
I did not. I'm sorry.
1021
00:40:53,647 --> 00:40:56,314
Paula, the weirdest
thing happened last night.
1022
00:40:56,878 --> 00:40:58,572
So, Josh and I were in
our kitchen... Oh. What?
1023
00:40:58,597 --> 00:40:59,667
Josh is living with me,
1024
00:40:59,692 --> 00:41:00,938
by the way, but that's
not the weird thing.
1025
00:41:00,963 --> 00:41:04,094
- lt's not?
- No. So, I looked at him, and...
1026
00:41:04,752 --> 00:41:06,919
these images
1027
00:41:06,944 --> 00:41:09,278
- just started flashing and...
- (elevator bell dings)
1028
00:41:09,390 --> 00:41:12,325
Before my eyes, and it was...
1029
00:41:12,350 --> 00:41:14,763
Oh, honey, I'm sorry. You're
gonna have to tell me later.
1030
00:41:14,788 --> 00:41:17,255
Nathaniel and I have a
hearing in Hanifa's case.
1031
00:41:17,471 --> 00:41:18,737
What?
1032
00:41:18,762 --> 00:41:20,395
Yeah, uh...
1033
00:41:21,355 --> 00:41:22,655
(whispering): Okay.
1034
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,080
He didn't want me to tell you,
1035
00:41:24,105 --> 00:41:25,170
but Nathaniel
1036
00:41:25,195 --> 00:41:26,906
has come on to help out
with some of your cases.
1037
00:41:27,181 --> 00:41:28,547
And I got to say,
1038
00:41:28,572 --> 00:41:30,383
I've spent a lot of time with
him the last couple of days,
1039
00:41:30,408 --> 00:41:32,175
and he's like a different guy.
1040
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:33,803
Yeah. He's, like, a good person.
1041
00:41:34,907 --> 00:41:36,883
Just doing the right thing.
1042
00:41:36,951 --> 00:41:38,551
Really?
1043
00:41:40,439 --> 00:41:41,972
♪ ♪
1044
00:41:46,618 --> 00:41:48,251
Hey.
1045
00:41:48,956 --> 00:41:50,055
You okay?
1046
00:41:51,294 --> 00:41:56,186
Oh, no, Paula. I think we're in trouble.
1047
00:41:56,211 --> 00:42:00,821
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
74205
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