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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,206 --> 00:00:11,758 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:11,827 --> 00:00:14,448 ♪ I'm sticking with you honey ♪ 3 00:00:14,517 --> 00:00:17,275 ♪ You make the whole world sunny ♪ 4 00:00:17,344 --> 00:00:19,034 - Oh, my God, Maggie. What is she doing? 5 00:00:21,068 --> 00:00:23,137 - Her roommate's mother sent it to me, because she's worried. 6 00:00:23,206 --> 00:00:25,689 - Oh, it's mesmerizing. 7 00:00:25,758 --> 00:00:27,448 Is it porn? 8 00:00:27,517 --> 00:00:29,793 - It's called breadfacing, and yes, 9 00:00:29,862 --> 00:00:32,620 people are definitely jerking off to it. 10 00:00:32,689 --> 00:00:34,310 - This is a cry for help. 11 00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:36,448 - Actually, it's hard to cry with bread in your mouth. 12 00:00:36,517 --> 00:00:38,586 - ♪ All over this town ♪ 13 00:00:38,655 --> 00:00:41,551 [Brynn Elliott's "Might Not Like Me"] 14 00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:43,896 ♪ ♪ 15 00:00:43,965 --> 00:00:45,137 - I'll throw it out. 16 00:00:45,206 --> 00:00:46,448 ♪ 17 00:00:46,517 --> 00:00:49,172 ♪ What's your problem? ♪ 18 00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:53,137 ♪ Well if you don't like girls that are stronger than you ♪ 19 00:00:53,206 --> 00:00:54,448 - Oh, my God. 20 00:00:54,517 --> 00:00:56,172 Lauren, what the hell? 21 00:00:56,241 --> 00:00:57,724 - Relax. It's for an event tonight. 22 00:00:57,793 --> 00:00:59,172 - ♪ Well if you don't like ♪ 23 00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:02,482 - Here's your dry-cleaning. 24 00:01:02,551 --> 00:01:04,172 I mean, it's not really dry-cleaned. 25 00:01:04,241 --> 00:01:05,862 I just ironed it really hard and put it in this bag, 26 00:01:05,931 --> 00:01:08,310 but...whatever. 27 00:01:09,517 --> 00:01:10,620 - Thank you. 28 00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:14,517 - Oh, that's my new intern. 29 00:01:15,655 --> 00:01:17,241 - It's basically slave labor, 30 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,000 TBQH, but, you know, they're getting a credit for school, 31 00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:20,620 so my conscience is clear. 32 00:01:23,655 --> 00:01:24,827 - I know. I know. I am so sorry. 33 00:01:24,896 --> 00:01:26,862 I just--I have a major deal tonight. 34 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:30,655 - Yeah, it's makeup you can eat, but I wouldn't. 35 00:01:33,103 --> 00:01:34,965 - No, uh... 36 00:01:35,034 --> 00:01:36,448 - I'm good. 37 00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:38,103 - I'm good, dude. 38 00:01:38,172 --> 00:01:39,206 Thank you, though. 39 00:01:42,689 --> 00:01:43,793 Who's he? 40 00:01:43,862 --> 00:01:46,448 - Josh, their name is Tam, okay? 41 00:01:46,517 --> 00:01:48,413 You can't just assume everyone's pronouns, buddy. 42 00:01:50,172 --> 00:01:52,310 - Okay, I'm gonna be down in the shop 43 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,896 in case anyone needs me. 44 00:01:56,965 --> 00:01:58,896 ♪ ♪ 45 00:01:59,896 --> 00:02:01,413 - Josh, good morning. 46 00:02:01,482 --> 00:02:03,586 - Hey, good morning. 47 00:02:03,655 --> 00:02:05,758 - You haven't been returning any of my messages. 48 00:02:05,827 --> 00:02:09,241 - I know, it's--look, it's just been a crazy week. 49 00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:11,724 - Josh, I need an answer. 50 00:02:11,793 --> 00:02:13,448 - I know. I'm figuring it out. 51 00:02:13,517 --> 00:02:17,034 Just...give me 24 hours. 52 00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,068 - Okay, 24 hours. 53 00:02:19,137 --> 00:02:22,551 - ♪ I choose me again and again ♪ 54 00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:25,586 ♪ 'Cause I chose you again and again ♪ 55 00:02:25,655 --> 00:02:28,620 ♪ Don't give any damn I don't care ♪ 56 00:02:28,689 --> 00:02:31,551 ♪ Gave you all I can of me babe ♪ 57 00:02:31,620 --> 00:02:33,206 - Guys, I'm sorry. 58 00:02:33,275 --> 00:02:35,275 It's just it's the busiest season of the year. 59 00:02:35,344 --> 00:02:37,655 There's all these schmoozing events before the mid-terms. 60 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,379 - We totally understand that. 61 00:02:39,448 --> 00:02:42,586 But last Thursday, we had a drop-dead date for chapter one 62 00:02:42,655 --> 00:02:45,655 and yet still no chapter one. 63 00:02:47,344 --> 00:02:49,931 - Okay, no more excuses. 64 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,655 After this Arianna Huffington event tonight, 65 00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:54,379 I will hit the ground running. 66 00:02:54,448 --> 00:02:56,517 - Ooh, what Arianna Huffington event? 67 00:02:56,586 --> 00:02:58,620 It's on #negativethinking. 68 00:02:58,689 --> 00:03:02,448 - Oh, yet another Twitter movement that I'm behind on. 69 00:03:02,517 --> 00:03:05,586 - No, it's just an excuse to drink and to talk about how 70 00:03:05,655 --> 00:03:08,517 liberals are still arguing about Bernie versus Hillary. 71 00:03:08,586 --> 00:03:12,137 It's cathartic, I think. 72 00:03:12,206 --> 00:03:13,448 You should--you should come with me. 73 00:03:13,517 --> 00:03:16,379 - I would love to. 74 00:03:16,448 --> 00:03:18,551 - Sorry, I've only got a plus-one. 75 00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:20,034 - Oh, that's fine. 76 00:03:20,103 --> 00:03:21,931 I don't have the energy for that accent tonight. 77 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,034 You kids have fun. 78 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:24,344 - Don't worry about me. 79 00:03:27,413 --> 00:03:31,724 ♪ ♪ 80 00:03:31,793 --> 00:03:35,413 - ♪ Open and free your mind ♪ 81 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:38,827 ♪ Shoe 'em everything that's living deep deep inside ♪ 82 00:03:38,896 --> 00:03:40,689 ♪ Tick-tock tick-tock ♪ 83 00:03:40,758 --> 00:03:42,931 ♪ I'm about to explode ♪ 84 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,586 ♪ ♪ 85 00:03:44,655 --> 00:03:47,275 - ♪ Gotta gotta express yourself ♪ 86 00:03:50,344 --> 00:03:53,827 ♪ ♪ 87 00:03:53,896 --> 00:03:55,655 - Popular, popular guy here. 88 00:03:55,724 --> 00:03:58,586 - Yeah... 89 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,241 - Okay, sorry I keep parading you around here. 90 00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:02,965 Just talking about myself always makes me nervous. 91 00:04:04,586 --> 00:04:06,655 It doesn't seem to bother you on your podcast. 92 00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:10,206 - You know, strangely, I think I am most comfortable 93 00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:12,586 either in a crowd or alone. 94 00:04:12,655 --> 00:04:16,758 One-on-one, I'm...terrible. 95 00:04:16,827 --> 00:04:19,068 You're doing fine. 96 00:04:19,137 --> 00:04:21,206 - Thanks. 97 00:04:21,275 --> 00:04:22,586 - Jake. 98 00:04:22,655 --> 00:04:25,241 - Oh, good. Here comes a crowd. 99 00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:29,068 - Guys, this is my editor, Kelsey Peters. 100 00:04:29,137 --> 00:04:31,103 - Hi. - Kelsey, this is Levitt 101 00:04:31,172 --> 00:04:32,862 and Charlotte. 102 00:04:32,931 --> 00:04:34,689 Their co-hosts of the podcast and spent some time 103 00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:35,965 with me in the White House. 104 00:04:36,034 --> 00:04:37,551 - I know who they are. 105 00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,172 - Still can't believe you got a book deal before me. 106 00:04:39,241 --> 00:04:41,758 - I read "Conversations With My Doodle" and loved it. 107 00:04:41,827 --> 00:04:45,034 And surprisingly, not ironically. 108 00:04:45,103 --> 00:04:47,000 - That book was a surprise to all of us. 109 00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:48,758 - Kelsey just signed a content deal 110 00:04:48,827 --> 00:04:50,172 with Reese Witherspoon's company. 111 00:04:50,241 --> 00:04:51,827 Okay, don't move. 112 00:04:51,896 --> 00:04:53,068 We're gonna get you a drink, 113 00:04:53,137 --> 00:04:54,172 and you're gonna tell us everything. 114 00:04:54,241 --> 00:04:57,689 - Okay. 115 00:04:57,758 --> 00:04:59,000 - Come on. 116 00:04:59,068 --> 00:05:02,379 I don't want to share you tonight. 117 00:05:07,551 --> 00:05:08,827 - Ohh. 118 00:05:08,896 --> 00:05:10,896 - Come on. 119 00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:13,724 - God, I love this city. 120 00:05:13,793 --> 00:05:16,448 There. - Oh, thanks. 121 00:05:21,379 --> 00:05:23,172 - Tomorrow morning. 122 00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:28,034 Wish I could stay longer. 123 00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:29,413 Can I kiss you? 124 00:05:31,689 --> 00:05:33,275 Sorry. 125 00:05:33,344 --> 00:05:35,137 I just thought that 126 00:05:35,206 --> 00:05:38,758 Obama's speech writer would... be a little smoother than that. 127 00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:42,758 - Oh, well, it worked on Michelle. 128 00:05:42,827 --> 00:05:43,758 I'm kidding. 129 00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:46,172 Kidding. - Oh. 130 00:05:46,241 --> 00:05:47,586 I wish you weren't. 131 00:05:47,655 --> 00:05:49,758 That would be so good in the book. 132 00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,172 - Yeah. 133 00:05:51,241 --> 00:05:54,172 You really only care about the book? 134 00:05:54,241 --> 00:05:56,517 - I am your editor. 135 00:05:56,586 --> 00:05:59,482 - Still haven't answered my question. 136 00:05:59,551 --> 00:06:02,517 [Opus Orange's "The Next World"] 137 00:06:02,586 --> 00:06:04,448 ♪ ♪ 138 00:06:04,517 --> 00:06:06,689 - ♪ Open my eyes all I see ♪ 139 00:06:06,758 --> 00:06:10,206 ♪ Are your dark brown eyes looking at me ♪ 140 00:06:10,275 --> 00:06:12,517 ♪ ♪ 141 00:06:12,586 --> 00:06:15,137 - Falafels are on me. 142 00:06:15,206 --> 00:06:17,034 Thank you. 143 00:06:17,103 --> 00:06:20,551 My article on "Where Are They Now: The Members of O-Town" 144 00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:22,482 just got 100,000 views, so... 145 00:06:24,206 --> 00:06:25,551 - Thank you. 146 00:06:25,620 --> 00:06:26,551 - Oh. - Ooh. 147 00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,241 - Sorry, it's icy. 148 00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:29,241 - I gotcha. 149 00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:31,172 - Thank you. 150 00:06:31,241 --> 00:06:35,482 - Yeah, I'm--I'm doing a series of "Where Are They Nows." 151 00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:38,137 The next one's on my dignity. 152 00:06:38,206 --> 00:06:40,344 - Well, you do what you've got to do to pay the bills. 153 00:06:40,413 --> 00:06:42,103 - Yep. 154 00:06:42,172 --> 00:06:44,517 I still have to put together a listicle of GIFs 155 00:06:44,586 --> 00:06:45,896 called "Nun fails." 156 00:06:45,965 --> 00:06:47,793 Yeah. 157 00:06:47,862 --> 00:06:50,482 Oh, sorry. 158 00:06:50,551 --> 00:06:53,655 Oh, my God. 159 00:06:53,724 --> 00:06:54,862 I was not prepared for that. 160 00:06:56,068 --> 00:06:57,310 - My son sent me a picture... 161 00:06:58,379 --> 00:06:59,620 - Of his penis. 162 00:07:01,517 --> 00:07:03,551 He's 16, and he thinks 163 00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:04,689 he might have herpes. 164 00:07:05,931 --> 00:07:07,724 And how does it look? 165 00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:10,551 - Um, like a teenager who masturbated too much. 166 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,965 Sounds like you're close. 167 00:07:16,034 --> 00:07:18,275 - As a divorced dad, I try to be there for him 168 00:07:18,344 --> 00:07:20,103 without judgment. 169 00:07:20,172 --> 00:07:22,275 I just don't understand this generation's need 170 00:07:22,344 --> 00:07:24,068 to share everything. 171 00:07:24,137 --> 00:07:26,379 Well, at least he's not posting 172 00:07:26,448 --> 00:07:28,896 a picture of his penis online and mushing it into 173 00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:30,827 a loaf of pumpernickel. 174 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,206 Never mind. 175 00:07:34,275 --> 00:07:35,758 Oh! 176 00:07:35,827 --> 00:07:37,103 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my... 177 00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:39,517 - Oh, my God. 178 00:07:39,586 --> 00:07:42,517 I'm fine. So sorry. 179 00:07:42,586 --> 00:07:44,689 Let me--let me just get my stuff. 180 00:07:44,758 --> 00:07:47,000 Ohh. - Ahh. 181 00:07:49,241 --> 00:07:51,275 Here's your license. 182 00:07:51,344 --> 00:07:56,000 And here's your other license. 183 00:08:06,103 --> 00:08:08,172 - That's crazy. 184 00:08:08,241 --> 00:08:11,517 You're basically living a double life. 185 00:08:11,586 --> 00:08:13,034 - I see it like this. 186 00:08:13,103 --> 00:08:16,655 The world is ageist, and until that changes, 187 00:08:16,724 --> 00:08:18,172 I can't play by the rules. 188 00:08:18,241 --> 00:08:20,034 - So true. 189 00:08:20,103 --> 00:08:21,344 You are clever. 190 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,172 - I have to be. 191 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:26,551 I have a daughter in college to support. 192 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,586 - Well, let me just say that I wish I didn't have to continue 193 00:08:32,655 --> 00:08:34,551 the charade, but I have to to keep 194 00:08:34,620 --> 00:08:36,172 the millennial brand intact. 195 00:08:36,241 --> 00:08:38,172 - Wow. 196 00:08:38,241 --> 00:08:39,862 You are my hero. 197 00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:42,517 - I am nobody's hero. 198 00:08:42,586 --> 00:08:45,034 I'm a fraud. 199 00:08:45,103 --> 00:08:47,241 But you do what you have to do. 200 00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:51,482 - Well, I can't pretend to be a hot young woman, 201 00:08:51,551 --> 00:08:55,034 but hopefully I can think of something. 202 00:08:55,103 --> 00:08:57,344 - You're so talented. 203 00:08:57,413 --> 00:08:58,586 You will. 204 00:09:01,724 --> 00:09:08,758 ♪ ♪ 205 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,310 - Hey, Caitlin, it's--it's me again. 206 00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:17,482 I'm not sure if you got my last message. 207 00:09:17,551 --> 00:09:21,172 I just--just want to see what you're up to, honey. 208 00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:24,241 - If you're satisfied with your message, hang up... 209 00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:25,620 - Damn it. - Or press... 210 00:09:40,965 --> 00:09:43,206 - How was Arianna Huffington's party? 211 00:09:43,275 --> 00:09:44,344 - Fine. 212 00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:47,310 - Levitt tagged you in a picture. 213 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,758 You and Jake look cozy. 214 00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:53,068 Cozier than an author and his editor should be. 215 00:09:53,137 --> 00:09:54,896 - Calm down. 216 00:09:54,965 --> 00:09:58,655 We look cozy, because we're sitting on a velvet couch. 217 00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,965 - Look, I can tell this guy's got a crush on you. 218 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,448 You're too smart to do something 219 00:10:02,517 --> 00:10:04,965 to jeopardize this book. 220 00:10:05,034 --> 00:10:07,206 - You're right. I am. 221 00:10:08,551 --> 00:10:11,206 So I don't need to hear it from you. 222 00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:27,068 ♪ ♪ 223 00:10:37,379 --> 00:10:39,000 - It seems like he actually has work. 224 00:10:39,068 --> 00:10:40,551 I mean, you can't assume that everyone's lying 225 00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:42,551 just because you are. 226 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,448 - Hi. - Hey. 227 00:10:44,517 --> 00:10:46,517 This event is so cool. 228 00:10:46,586 --> 00:10:48,586 - I know. I know. 229 00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:53,655 - I'm not here to tell you what to do. 230 00:10:53,724 --> 00:10:55,896 - I'll try it. I'm starving. 231 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,034 - Tam, my assistant. You just met them. 232 00:11:01,103 --> 00:11:02,655 - I only saw one person. 233 00:11:02,724 --> 00:11:04,241 - Tam is gender-queer. 234 00:11:06,034 --> 00:11:07,827 Oh. Oh, so he's bi? 235 00:11:07,896 --> 00:11:09,413 - Oh, my God. Liza, no. Please, do not--no, 236 00:11:09,482 --> 00:11:11,034 do not use that word here. 237 00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:13,068 Tam's pan-sexual, homo-romantic, 238 00:11:13,137 --> 00:11:15,137 and their pronouns are they, them, and there. 239 00:11:15,206 --> 00:11:16,793 All right, no more questions. It's offensive. 240 00:11:16,862 --> 00:11:19,482 The LGBTQIAPK community has been through enough. 241 00:11:19,551 --> 00:11:21,241 - You lost me after T. 242 00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:23,793 - Lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, questioning, 243 00:11:23,862 --> 00:11:25,827 intersex, asexual, pan, poly, kink. 244 00:11:25,896 --> 00:11:27,448 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 245 00:11:27,517 --> 00:11:29,689 Please keep your mingling to a minimum. 246 00:11:29,758 --> 00:11:33,586 - Ooh, I was less confused in the closet. 247 00:11:34,896 --> 00:11:36,655 - It tastes like burnt ass. 248 00:11:36,724 --> 00:11:38,689 I'm gonna go find some real food. 249 00:11:38,758 --> 00:11:40,310 I'll be back. 250 00:11:40,379 --> 00:11:41,586 - Hmm, nutty. 251 00:11:44,275 --> 00:11:45,655 - Jake Devereux. 252 00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:48,758 - He's cute and funny. 253 00:11:48,827 --> 00:11:50,551 - Uh-oh, you sure that's a good idea. 254 00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:53,620 - I hung out with him last night as his editor. 255 00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:57,344 Okay, and we kissed. 256 00:11:58,448 --> 00:12:00,000 And I think I like him. 257 00:12:00,068 --> 00:12:04,379 - Kelsey. - I know. 258 00:12:04,448 --> 00:12:05,931 Just eat your mascara. 259 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:13,413 ♪ ♪ 260 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:14,793 - Tam, lean in. 261 00:12:14,862 --> 00:12:16,551 - I will not. This is humiliating. 262 00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:19,413 - Oh. Yes. No, you're right. You're right. Selfies are dead. 263 00:12:19,482 --> 00:12:22,379 Ooh, Maggie, Maggie, will you take a picture of us? 264 00:12:22,448 --> 00:12:24,896 - Yeah, sure. - No. 265 00:12:24,965 --> 00:12:27,000 You're making a spectacle. 266 00:12:27,068 --> 00:12:28,620 - Yeah, that's the whole point. 267 00:12:28,689 --> 00:12:31,482 - Lauren, everything can't be in all-caps. 268 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,068 - Let me put this another way. 269 00:12:35,137 --> 00:12:37,655 It's not cool. 270 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:38,931 Nobody posts anymore. 271 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,551 It's all word of mouth. 272 00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:43,344 - Oh, yes. No, no, okay, I was just being ironic. 273 00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:44,586 This is for my finsta. 274 00:12:44,655 --> 00:12:46,103 That's "fake Instagram." 275 00:12:46,172 --> 00:12:48,068 - Millennials are so sad. 276 00:12:48,137 --> 00:12:50,034 ♪ ♪ 277 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,724 - Oh, my God. 278 00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:52,862 Okay, that just happened. 279 00:12:52,931 --> 00:12:54,482 I'm old. 280 00:12:54,551 --> 00:12:55,931 - Don't make me choke you out. 281 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,448 - Tam's being a dick. 282 00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:59,137 They just told Lauren that she's irrelevant. 283 00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:00,620 - They're right, Liza. They are. 284 00:13:00,689 --> 00:13:02,206 They're right. Millennials are over. 285 00:13:02,275 --> 00:13:03,482 We are done. 286 00:13:03,551 --> 00:13:05,689 - No, we're still happenin'. 287 00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:07,862 -You know, getting older isn't so bad. 288 00:13:07,931 --> 00:13:10,620 Maybe you want to try it sometime. 289 00:13:19,862 --> 00:13:23,137 - You want to come say good-bye to Inkburg? 290 00:13:24,965 --> 00:13:27,482 - I'm done with this place, Liza. 291 00:13:27,551 --> 00:13:31,068 - Okay, just--you stay right there. 292 00:13:31,137 --> 00:13:33,620 I'm coming over. 293 00:13:36,689 --> 00:13:43,724 ♪ ♪ 294 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,793 - Sorry, ma'am, we are closed. 295 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:52,448 - I already got my tattoo, thank you. 296 00:13:52,517 --> 00:13:54,517 What's going on? 297 00:13:54,586 --> 00:14:00,068 - My landlord wants me to sign a ten-year lease or vacate. 298 00:14:00,137 --> 00:14:01,655 - Whoa, look who's an adult. 299 00:14:04,448 --> 00:14:06,034 I think I'm gonna vacate. 300 00:14:06,103 --> 00:14:09,413 - Wh...you're gonna give Inkburg up? 301 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,379 What are you gonna do instead? 302 00:14:11,448 --> 00:14:13,275 - Anything, really. 303 00:14:13,344 --> 00:14:16,827 I could rent a chair at a tattoo shop in Portland, 304 00:14:16,896 --> 00:14:18,379 Silver Lake. 305 00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:20,758 - This place is your passion, your soul. 306 00:14:23,103 --> 00:14:26,724 - I just don't know if there's anything here for me anymore. 307 00:14:30,275 --> 00:14:33,000 I don't know if I have it in my to make any more commitments. 308 00:14:36,689 --> 00:14:40,034 This is a commitment. This is a commitment. 309 00:14:40,103 --> 00:14:43,413 All of these are commitments to yourself. 310 00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:45,896 You can't go wrong committing to yourself. 311 00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:49,206 Trust me. 312 00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:54,448 Trust you. 313 00:14:54,517 --> 00:14:56,931 How can I be sure 314 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:02,000 that this place is my future. 315 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,620 And what's keeping me here? 316 00:15:04,689 --> 00:15:08,103 - You've got all of us, 317 00:15:08,172 --> 00:15:12,000 Maggie and Kelsey, and you've got me. 318 00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:20,310 - No, I don't have you. 319 00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:27,310 ♪ ♪ 320 00:15:27,379 --> 00:15:29,620 I'm gonna clean up a little bit. 321 00:15:29,689 --> 00:15:34,137 ♪ ♪ 322 00:15:34,206 --> 00:15:37,448 Good night, Liza. 323 00:15:37,517 --> 00:15:39,137 ♪ ♪ 324 00:15:42,931 --> 00:15:43,862 - ♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪ 325 00:15:43,931 --> 00:15:46,344 ♪ ♪ 326 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:47,931 ♪ Oh Mona Lisa feel that beat ♪ 327 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,931 ♪ This heat gonna light that fire ♪ 328 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,689 ♪ ♪ 329 00:15:53,758 --> 00:15:56,275 ♪ Oh Mona Lisa I know we're gonna start that fire ♪ 330 00:16:01,172 --> 00:16:03,103 - Liza Miller speaking. - Hi, there. 331 00:16:03,172 --> 00:16:05,103 This is May from "Vanity Fair." 332 00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,517 I'm checking some details for a story about you. 333 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,310 - You and "Millennial." - Oh, okay. 334 00:16:11,379 --> 00:16:14,310 - I see here that you are one of the co-founders 335 00:16:14,379 --> 00:16:15,896 of "Millennial Print." 336 00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:19,275 - Yes. - And that you're 41. 337 00:16:21,206 --> 00:16:23,931 - Uh...who's writing this article? 338 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,413 - Don Ridley. Can we confirm your age? 339 00:16:27,655 --> 00:16:29,413 - Hey, we're late for the Reese meeting. 340 00:16:29,482 --> 00:16:30,724 - Okay, I've got to go. Bye-bye. 341 00:16:30,793 --> 00:16:34,448 - Let's go. Let's go. 342 00:16:34,517 --> 00:16:36,448 Come on. 343 00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:38,206 You told Don your real age? 344 00:16:38,275 --> 00:16:41,068 - No, he saw both my IDs when I slipped on ice 345 00:16:41,137 --> 00:16:42,413 and dropped my bag. 346 00:16:42,482 --> 00:16:44,448 - Well, why didn't you make up a story, 347 00:16:44,517 --> 00:16:47,310 like, tell him you were trying to get discounts or something? 348 00:16:47,379 --> 00:16:49,241 - I don't know. 349 00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:51,034 What do old people buy? 350 00:16:51,103 --> 00:16:53,034 - I'm not a senior citizen, and that's not the point. 351 00:16:53,103 --> 00:16:55,965 "Vanity Fair" is going to publish an article exposing me. 352 00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:00,862 Oh, my God. They're calling me now. 353 00:17:00,931 --> 00:17:02,068 - Don't answer it. 354 00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:03,655 - Okay, we cannot deal with this. 355 00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:06,448 Whatever we do, we cannot let Reese's people know. 356 00:17:06,517 --> 00:17:07,655 - Not a word. 357 00:17:07,724 --> 00:17:08,620 - Ahh. 358 00:17:08,689 --> 00:17:11,344 - Okay, let me see. 359 00:17:11,413 --> 00:17:12,482 New phone. Who dis? 360 00:17:12,551 --> 00:17:14,068 - ♪ Hey hey ♪ 361 00:17:14,137 --> 00:17:19,413 ♪ ♪ 362 00:17:19,482 --> 00:17:21,068 - I received a very unsettling phone call 363 00:17:21,137 --> 00:17:22,827 from a fact-checker this morning. 364 00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:25,689 She was insinuating something very odd about your age. 365 00:17:25,758 --> 00:17:28,000 Reese is in pieces. 366 00:17:28,068 --> 00:17:30,620 Liza, how old are you? 367 00:17:32,034 --> 00:17:33,034 - I'm... 368 00:17:36,758 --> 00:17:38,793 Age-queer. 369 00:17:38,862 --> 00:17:40,965 - I'm age-queer. 370 00:17:41,965 --> 00:17:43,655 That fact-checker was trying to age-shame us for being young, 371 00:17:43,724 --> 00:17:47,206 so I told them I'm old in protest. 372 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,310 And it's, like, who cares? 373 00:17:48,379 --> 00:17:50,034 I don't identify as any age. 374 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,862 - Neither do I. 375 00:17:51,931 --> 00:17:54,034 - They were so focused on how successful we were for our age, 376 00:17:54,103 --> 00:17:56,000 and it shouldn't matter how old we are. 377 00:17:56,068 --> 00:17:57,137 - Exactly. 378 00:17:57,206 --> 00:17:58,137 Screw them. 379 00:17:59,448 --> 00:18:00,896 - The patriarchy. 380 00:18:00,965 --> 00:18:02,275 - So I told them I'm 41. 381 00:18:02,344 --> 00:18:04,241 And let them think that for all I care. 382 00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:05,793 We're post-age. 383 00:18:05,862 --> 00:18:09,275 - But how old--I'm confused. 384 00:18:09,344 --> 00:18:11,965 - It's confusing, but it's not wrong. 385 00:18:12,034 --> 00:18:14,137 - Mm-mm. - Every time you get a bunch of 386 00:18:14,206 --> 00:18:16,034 strong, powerful women together, 387 00:18:16,103 --> 00:18:18,137 it's their looks, their age. 388 00:18:18,206 --> 00:18:19,620 They're too young. They're too sexy. 389 00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:20,655 - I mean, what are they gonna do, throw us in 390 00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,137 "The Handmaid's Tale"? 391 00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:23,620 - Under his eye, girl. 392 00:18:25,827 --> 00:18:28,482 - Kiara, it's the fact-checker again. 393 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,965 - I'll handle them. 394 00:18:36,517 --> 00:18:38,172 - I... 395 00:18:38,241 --> 00:18:40,793 - That was insane. - Yeah, and probably offensive. 396 00:18:40,862 --> 00:18:43,379 - Liza, we have to stop this story. 397 00:18:43,448 --> 00:18:44,620 - I know. 398 00:18:44,689 --> 00:18:46,137 I'm gonna go find Don right now. 399 00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:47,551 Before he stopped texting, he mentioned 400 00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,068 a luncheon for Broadway Cares. 401 00:18:49,137 --> 00:18:50,793 - That's a nice charity. 402 00:18:50,862 --> 00:18:53,413 - The only thing Don cares about is the free food. 403 00:18:56,482 --> 00:19:03,551 ♪ ♪ 404 00:19:14,793 --> 00:19:16,586 Don. 405 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,068 - Liza. 406 00:19:18,137 --> 00:19:19,310 - I was the story you were working on. 407 00:19:19,379 --> 00:19:21,000 How could you do that to me? 408 00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:23,482 I thought that I met a man that I liked, 409 00:19:23,551 --> 00:19:25,413 that I trusted. 410 00:19:25,482 --> 00:19:27,275 - I'm sorry. 411 00:19:27,344 --> 00:19:29,551 I'm a freelancer. I need to dig up stories. 412 00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:31,620 And you're a really great one. 413 00:19:31,689 --> 00:19:32,931 You said it yourself. 414 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,517 You do what you have to do. 415 00:19:34,586 --> 00:19:37,137 - Not at the expense of destroying someone else. 416 00:19:37,206 --> 00:19:38,724 - This story might end up being the best thing 417 00:19:38,793 --> 00:19:40,172 that ever happened to you. 418 00:19:40,241 --> 00:19:41,827 I could make you the poster child for ageism. 419 00:19:41,896 --> 00:19:45,827 - And also kill my career and damage "Millennial." 420 00:19:47,206 --> 00:19:49,275 - Well, none of that's gonna happen. 421 00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:50,793 They just pulled it. 422 00:19:50,862 --> 00:19:52,551 There' some social media thing that's exploding 423 00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:56,275 about being age-queer, whatever that means. 424 00:19:56,344 --> 00:19:59,000 Suddenly everyone's sensitive to age-shaming. 425 00:19:59,068 --> 00:20:02,758 - Oh, wow. Good. 426 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,275 They should be sensitive to it. 427 00:20:04,344 --> 00:20:06,517 - Yeah, and once again, I'm out. 428 00:20:06,586 --> 00:20:08,000 You know, it seems like the only people who get 429 00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:09,827 discriminated against anymore are middle-aged 430 00:20:09,896 --> 00:20:11,275 straight white men. 431 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:15,206 #me, okay? #me. 432 00:20:15,275 --> 00:20:17,862 - You know, I think I might know why you can't find work. 433 00:20:19,172 --> 00:20:21,448 - Because you're an asshole, Don. 434 00:20:24,517 --> 00:20:31,517 ♪ ♪ 435 00:20:32,551 --> 00:20:33,931 You're an adult. 436 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,517 Your life is your life. 437 00:20:35,586 --> 00:20:37,482 But why are you smashing your face into bread? 438 00:20:37,551 --> 00:20:39,000 - Oh, my God. How did you see that? 439 00:20:39,068 --> 00:20:40,517 - I feel like I don't know you anymore. 440 00:20:40,586 --> 00:20:42,034 - Mom, it's not who I am. 441 00:20:42,103 --> 00:20:43,517 It's just a thing I do for some extra money. 442 00:20:43,586 --> 00:20:45,000 - Okay, let me tell you something. 443 00:20:45,068 --> 00:20:47,827 You become what you do. 444 00:20:47,896 --> 00:20:50,068 If you cheat, you become a cheater. 445 00:20:50,137 --> 00:20:53,551 If you like, you... you become a liar. 446 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,689 - It's so easy for you. You're so perfect. 447 00:20:55,758 --> 00:20:58,586 - Caitlin, I have done plenty of things in my life 448 00:20:58,655 --> 00:20:59,965 that I am not proud of. 449 00:21:02,758 --> 00:21:04,620 - Someday I will tell you all about them. 450 00:21:04,689 --> 00:21:09,241 But for now, will you just stop breadfacing. 451 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,206 - Jeez, Mom, is it really that embarrassing? 452 00:21:15,068 --> 00:21:18,068 What? 453 00:21:19,620 --> 00:21:20,931 - Ohh. - Mom. 454 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,551 - Oh, this is surprising. - Mom, stop. 455 00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:24,827 People are watching. - Ooh, it's so soft. 456 00:21:24,896 --> 00:21:27,827 Ohh, yeah. Mmm. 457 00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:30,310 - Okay, okay, I'll stop. 458 00:21:31,965 --> 00:21:34,034 God, you could really ruin anything. 459 00:21:34,103 --> 00:21:35,586 - I love you too. 460 00:21:37,103 --> 00:21:38,275 Are you still gonna eat it? 461 00:21:38,344 --> 00:21:41,931 - Of course I'm gonna eat that bread. 462 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,241 I liked it on my chin. 463 00:21:43,310 --> 00:21:44,758 - Yep. - It was really crispy. 464 00:21:51,241 --> 00:21:59,034 ♪ ♪ 465 00:22:04,275 --> 00:22:05,965 - Josh, I can't let you do this. 466 00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:08,206 Who knows what the future holds, 467 00:22:08,275 --> 00:22:11,379 but I know how much you love that place. 468 00:22:11,448 --> 00:22:13,034 This was your dream. 469 00:22:13,103 --> 00:22:14,310 You built it from nothing. 470 00:22:14,379 --> 00:22:16,103 It's who you are. 471 00:22:16,172 --> 00:22:18,551 Take that lease. 472 00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:20,000 I'm not going away. 473 00:22:20,068 --> 00:22:22,551 Kelsey and Maggie aren't going away. 474 00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:24,206 Your roots are here. 475 00:22:24,275 --> 00:22:26,793 I will be at your side. 476 00:22:26,862 --> 00:22:29,517 You don't have to commit to us, but we commit to you. 477 00:22:29,586 --> 00:22:32,137 I commit to you. 478 00:22:32,206 --> 00:22:34,344 I might not always be the same person in your life, 479 00:22:34,413 --> 00:22:37,793 but I will always be in your life. 480 00:22:42,206 --> 00:22:44,172 - The sign. They're taking it down. 481 00:22:47,275 --> 00:22:49,517 - I'm just getting a bigger one. 482 00:22:52,310 --> 00:22:54,655 - Josh. 483 00:22:55,758 --> 00:22:57,206 - I'm not ready to give up yet. 484 00:22:57,275 --> 00:23:00,172 - ♪ And I want you to be ♪ 485 00:23:00,241 --> 00:23:03,758 ♪ For the next few hundred years ♪ 486 00:23:03,827 --> 00:23:07,137 ♪ With me ♪ 33588

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