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♪ Woke up every day ♪
2
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:54,722
♪ And I can feel
it's always here ♪
3
00:00:54,756 --> 00:00:58,826
♪ Like gravity around myself
to give me strength ♪
4
00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:03,665
♪ It's a world I'd hope ♪
5
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:10,470
♪ All begin with hope ♪
6
00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:14,441
Oh! Sorry. Todd?
7
00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:18,713
-Jaclyn.
-Hi. Hi.. uh, wow, look at you!
8
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And that.. all of that.
What are you doing here?
9
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I mean, it's f..
funny seeing you here.
10
00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:27,855
I.. I thought you
had an apartment downtown.
11
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Uh.. uh, we.. we bought a
house around the corner.
12
00:01:30,892 --> 00:01:32,492
For the schools.
13
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,896
Uh, you remember Gia, don't you?
14
00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:37,130
Uh, yeah, last time I saw her,
15
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:38,700
her face was kinda covered
by your crotch.
16
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,202
I heard you got married.
Congratulations.
17
00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:43,170
Thank you.
18
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:43,905
Oh, that's sweet of you to say.
19
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,640
Thank you. Yeah, I'm a dad!
20
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:48,308
Yeah! Yeah, how'd that happen?
21
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,310
I mean,
I know how that happened.
22
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:53,548
Just you always said
you didn't want babies
23
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:54,849
when we were married.
24
00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:58,586
Yeah.
Oh, turns out uh, I was wrong.
25
00:01:58,620 --> 00:01:59,587
Kids are great.
26
00:02:00,622 --> 00:02:02,590
He's a great dad.
27
00:02:02,624 --> 00:02:04,224
Really happy for you guys.
28
00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:07,160
Thank you. Uh, I couldn't be..
well, we..
29
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:10,297
We couldn't be happier,
you know?
30
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,633
I'm living my best life.
31
00:02:11,666 --> 00:02:12,667
Yeah, me, too.
32
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,468
Yeah. Alright.
33
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,704
Well, um, we should get going.
34
00:02:16,738 --> 00:02:17,939
-Okay.
-Gotta get this in the ground.
35
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,841
-Yeah, yeah.
-You know? But it was really..
36
00:02:19,874 --> 00:02:21,576
-Dig it deep.
-It was great to..
37
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:22,710
-Oh, I..
-You know? Come on.
38
00:02:22,744 --> 00:02:24,512
Let's not smother the..
39
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,849
Really great.
40
00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:28,816
Yeah.
41
00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:31,351
So great to see you.
42
00:02:34,856 --> 00:02:35,923
Can I help you?
43
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:41,328
Hi. Uh, yeah. Um, the..
I have a.. there's a..
44
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:42,797
I have this plant.
45
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,299
Um, uh, I..
it's a dwarf tangerine
46
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,569
and I.. I bought it here
a year ago, and it..
47
00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:50,972
It's grown some, it just..
it doesn't grow any fruit.
48
00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:53,841
And I've tried everything,
even like a citrus stake.
49
00:02:53,875 --> 00:02:55,610
I think it's growing great!
50
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:58,746
these leaves are gorgeous
and lush.
51
00:02:58,780 --> 00:03:02,449
But you see this?
Something happened to it.
52
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,251
Disease? Trauma?
53
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,454
Is it gonna die?
54
00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:09,891
No, no, it'll keep growing,
but it'll never bear fruit.
55
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,970
That was supposed to be me,
you know?
56
00:03:23,004 --> 00:03:25,640
- Yeah.
- He said, "Kids will change us.
57
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,742
-And I love us."
-Men ain't shit.
58
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,877
I thought he would change
when you had kids and..
59
00:03:29,911 --> 00:03:31,946
Or my brother had kids,
60
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,948
and when his cousins had kids,
61
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:36,984
and I waited, and I waited,
and then..
62
00:03:37,018 --> 00:03:39,887
he just didn't wanna have kids
with me!
63
00:03:39,921 --> 00:03:43,390
I know. And this is probably
the wrong time to say,
64
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:46,961
"I told you so," but, honey,
I've literally been telling you
65
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:49,530
the exact same thing
for 15 years.
66
00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:52,800
I wasted all my good eggs
on that asshole.
67
00:03:52,834 --> 00:03:54,869
And now,
I'm never gonna be a mom!
68
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,804
- No. Yes.
- I'm never gonna be a mom!
69
00:03:56,838 --> 00:03:58,005
Yes, you are.
70
00:03:58,039 --> 00:04:00,307
You just..
you have to get back out there.
71
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,309
I am out there!
72
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,545
And it's like
every good guy is married
73
00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:06,714
or they don't wanna have kids.
74
00:04:06,748 --> 00:04:09,517
Or.. or.. the older guys,
they already have kids
75
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:10,918
and don't wanna have any more.
76
00:04:10,952 --> 00:04:13,420
Or the young guys,
they just wanna fuck a MILF.
77
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:16,057
But I'm not even a MILF,
I'm just an ILF!
78
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,627
I just..
79
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,295
I just wanna
skip the dating part
80
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:23,698
and get to the mom part.
I just..
81
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,867
No.
No, don't skip the dating part.
82
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:28,335
The dating part is where
all the good fun sex happens.
83
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:30,403
You know, when you..
when you get to the mom part,
84
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,540
it's just you know,
scheduled sex once a week
85
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:36,043
and the foreplay is
like he brushes his teeth.
86
00:04:36,077 --> 00:04:37,612
That's me.
87
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,881
My mom was the best
and she made me feel
88
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:43,050
like I could do anything.
89
00:04:43,084 --> 00:04:47,555
And like I was exactly perfect
just the way I was.
90
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:49,824
I wanna do that
for a little one.
91
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:53,027
I wanna be that mom
for somebody.
92
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,029
I don't know
why you're trippin'.
93
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,497
You don't need a husband
to have a baby.
94
00:04:57,532 --> 00:04:59,466
No, that's true.
You can totally adopt!
95
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,669
Oh, although adoption
is not cheap.
96
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:02,937
I have friends who did it
and it's like..
97
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,672
It's like 40 grand
all said and done.
98
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,107
Oh,fuck me!
99
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,875
I wasn't talkin' about adoption.
100
00:05:07,909 --> 00:05:10,044
Artificial insemination
is worse.
101
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,814
Mike and Lydia, they went
through six IVF treatments
102
00:05:12,847 --> 00:05:14,916
at 25 grand a pop.
103
00:05:14,949 --> 00:05:16,651
Well, fuck me!
104
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:19,754
You don't have to buy it.
Just go and get some.
105
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:20,922
What? Where are you getting?
106
00:05:20,955 --> 00:05:21,956
What?
107
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,958
You know, get some.
108
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:27,061
Mm. Mm, mm, mm.
109
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:30,363
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
110
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:32,733
-Oh.
-That's called "stealing sperm".
111
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,102
It's not stealing
if they freely give it away.
112
00:05:35,136 --> 00:05:37,538
-Uh.
-Condoms break.
113
00:05:37,572 --> 00:05:39,574
Accidents happen.
114
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:40,641
Especially if you plan 'em.
115
00:05:41,976 --> 00:05:44,111
No, that insane.
You can't do that.
116
00:05:44,145 --> 00:05:46,113
You can't just..
117
00:05:46,147 --> 00:05:49,482
Although, I mean, if there..
118
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:53,554
No. It's just.. it's wrong.
Is it.. is it wrong?
119
00:05:53,588 --> 00:05:56,858
I mean.. I mean, it could work.
120
00:05:56,891 --> 00:05:58,759
-Right.
-It could work.
121
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,094
What's happening right now?
122
00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:02,029
-I kinda think you're the devil.
-Mm.
123
00:06:02,063 --> 00:06:04,532
But it is
not the worst idea ever.
124
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,968
If you're talking about what
I think you're talking about,
125
00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:08,970
then it is the worst idea.
126
00:06:09,003 --> 00:06:11,639
-It's the best worst idea.
-Oh!
127
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,440
How will he ever find out?
128
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:14,942
You know, I'm not going to call
him to tell him.
129
00:06:14,976 --> 00:06:15,877
You guys aren't going to
call him and tell him.
130
00:06:15,910 --> 00:06:17,410
I'm not calling him.
131
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:19,847
I mean, most guys
ghost me anyway.
132
00:06:19,881 --> 00:06:22,917
And this time,
I want him to ghost me.
133
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,988
And he gets to have sex with
you and you get a baby.
134
00:06:27,021 --> 00:06:28,890
Win-win.
Waa-waa.
135
00:06:28,923 --> 00:06:31,025
Okay, I think you guys
are forgetting something.
136
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,793
Right, um-um.
137
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:35,428
What if the sperm is slow
or he's shooting blanks?
138
00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:35,997
Huh, we'll have a back up.
139
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,932
I'm thinking two, maybe three.
140
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,867
We gotta flood the fallopian
tubes when the egg drops.
141
00:06:39,901 --> 00:06:41,002
Yeah, yeah.
142
00:06:41,035 --> 00:06:42,435
You're.. you're talking
about an orgy?
143
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,640
It's like having three one-night
stands in the same night.
144
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:48,075
Okay.
145
00:06:48,109 --> 00:06:52,213
Oh my god. No.
No, I can't do this.
146
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,814
This is crazy.
147
00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:57,551
I don't want to just fuck
some rando to get a baby.
148
00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:00,487
That's why I can't go to the
sperm bank in the first place.
149
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,556
Besides from the fact
that it will bankrupt me.
150
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:07,494
I want to know that the father
of my child is a good person.
151
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,197
- Right? Yeah.
- You know? Like a kind person.
152
00:07:11,766 --> 00:07:15,435
Ideally artistic and intelligent
and good sense of humor.
153
00:07:17,071 --> 00:07:19,040
Argh, who the fuck
am I kidding?
154
00:07:19,073 --> 00:07:21,909
I'll just freeze my eggs
until I find Mr. Right.
155
00:07:23,978 --> 00:07:27,982
Idea.
What if we found them for you?
156
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,534
Is there nuts in that?
157
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,536
Huh, I don't know.
158
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,905
I can put nuts in it for you.
Would you like that?
159
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,173
I can put nuts anywhere
you'd like.
160
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:55,276
Okay, babe, shut it down.
We have guests.
161
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,112
Alright, but mom has the kids
so we will have time
162
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,281
for your special
birthday treat later.
163
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,549
Don't get too fucked up.
164
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,751
I won't. I have an idea though.
165
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:06,220
What if we just send
all these jokers home
166
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:09,090
and we have later now?
How about that?
167
00:08:09,123 --> 00:08:11,959
All of our best friends,
you mean those jokers?
168
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:15,763
Well, what about her?
What about that joker?
169
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:16,831
I don't know her.
Who is she?
170
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,899
That's Jackie's friend
from work.
171
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,768
-Oh, the lesbian.
-Yes.
172
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,304
Yeah. Why is she here?
173
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,740
She's Jackie's plus one.
174
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,808
Oh, okay. Oh! Are they-?
175
00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:29,577
No. What? Just-
176
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:30,978
Well, why.. why is Jackie
coming?
177
00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:32,279
Because she is like family.
178
00:08:32,313 --> 00:08:33,781
Is she like family though?
179
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,184
I don't know. Maybe I just had
it in my head
180
00:08:37,218 --> 00:08:40,888
that we were going to take a
Jackie break after thanksgiving.
181
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:44,058
Alright, she had just found out
that Todd was getting remarried.
182
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,960
-I know.
-Just found out.
183
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:47,728
Believe me.
I was sympathetic
184
00:08:47,762 --> 00:08:49,697
with all the crying and the
carrying on.
185
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,932
But did she have to teach
our six-year-old about blowjobs?
186
00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,667
-She did-
-All about blowjobs?
187
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:54,835
She didn't hear the whole thing.
188
00:08:54,869 --> 00:08:57,038
-Soup to nuts.
-She didn't- No, no.
189
00:08:57,071 --> 00:08:58,606
Yes.
Maybe the soup
but not the nuts.
190
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,341
That's not even our job
to do that.
191
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,843
-Alright, you know what?
-It's the internet's job.
192
00:09:02,877 --> 00:09:05,079
You will barely know
that she is here.
193
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,520
Okay.
194
00:09:15,089 --> 00:09:16,590
I can do this.
195
00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:18,092
It's just casual sex.
196
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,360
I can do that.
197
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:20,828
I can totally do that.
198
00:09:23,164 --> 00:09:24,331
The table looks great.
199
00:09:24,365 --> 00:09:26,634
Wait, why are the desserts
out already?
200
00:09:30,271 --> 00:09:31,372
Do you guys have
everything you need?
201
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,041
Yes, we do honey. Thank you.
202
00:09:34,075 --> 00:09:35,976
-Hi.
-Hey, whose playlist is this?
203
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:37,311
These are Geoff's
favorite songs.
204
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,345
Oh god.
205
00:09:43,184 --> 00:09:44,885
- Nope, can't do it.
- No, Jaclyn.
206
00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:46,620
No, stop, stop, stop, stop.
207
00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,022
No, no, no, no, no, no.
208
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:49,957
On paper,
this all sounded great.
209
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,760
But now that I'm actually here,
I can't. I can't do it.
210
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,929
Okay, well, just listen.
I will 100% agree.
211
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,730
But please don't leave me here.
212
00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:59,366
I- If I have to have one more
conversation about IPOs,
213
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,768
I will murder someone.
214
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:01,869
Hold on, what's going on?
215
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,070
She's reconsidering.
216
00:10:03,104 --> 00:10:04,338
No, no, no.
You cannot back out.
217
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,273
Yes, I can.
Because this is crazy.
218
00:10:06,307 --> 00:10:08,175
Yes, it is crazy.
219
00:10:08,209 --> 00:10:10,211
Like Uber Eats
and Standing Desk.
220
00:10:10,244 --> 00:10:13,047
But crazy can be genius.
Great dress.
221
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,215
Yeah.
You don't think it's too much?
222
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,250
-It's very good. Oh.
-It's gonna get the job done.
223
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,919
No, ah!
Huh, I was gonna return it.
224
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,955
Oh, oops. I'm sorry.
225
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,790
$450?
226
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,258
See?
That's what I'm talking about.
227
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,327
This dress is not me.
228
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,395
Sleeping with three guys
is not me.
229
00:10:28,429 --> 00:10:31,932
Okay, it is not you.
That's clear.
230
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:33,300
Now, is this how you wanna have
a kid? No.
231
00:10:33,334 --> 00:10:35,236
But is this the only option?
Yes.
232
00:10:35,269 --> 00:10:37,705
Okay? We did our part.
You gotta do your part.
233
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:42,343
You promise that there's no way
they can find me afterwards.
234
00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:44,378
No, you just need to make sure
that no one figures out
235
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,913
what you're doing tonight.
236
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,149
Because I will 100%
throw you under the bus
237
00:10:48,182 --> 00:10:51,418
if Geoff finds out
that I was part- Hi.
238
00:10:51,452 --> 00:10:53,087
-Hey.
-Oh, hey.
239
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,722
Jackie, good to see you again.
240
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:58,692
Yeah, you too. Happy birthday.
It's a book.
241
00:10:58,726 --> 00:10:59,994
Could've sworn it was a canoe.
242
00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:04,098
It's signed to you.
243
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,466
Oh, wow. Thank you.
244
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,067
Oh, and isn't it lint?
245
00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:09,003
I mean, didn't you give up
refined sugar last year?
246
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,405
I thought you did. What are
you giving up this year?
247
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,475
I'm just giving up.
248
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:18,279
-Okay.
-He's literally just turning 45.
249
00:11:18,312 --> 00:11:19,346
- I know, right?
- Thank you so much.
250
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:21,081
I mean,
what's the matter with me?
251
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:24,084
Doom and gloom here.
Here, let me take this.
252
00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:25,386
Here, you put this up.
253
00:11:25,419 --> 00:11:27,254
Oh my gosh.
Yes, I would love to.
254
00:11:27,288 --> 00:11:28,689
It'd be my pleasure.
255
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:31,926
Is he okay?
256
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,260
He's fine.
257
00:11:33,294 --> 00:11:35,496
None of the men in his family
lived past 88.
258
00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:37,865
So, now he thinks
he's in a downfall spiral.
259
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,469
I thought you said this was
gonna be a big shin dick.
260
00:11:42,504 --> 00:11:43,737
Yeah, well, it turns out
261
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,472
Geoff doesn't have enough
friends to make it
262
00:11:45,507 --> 00:11:46,907
a shin dicks.
263
00:11:48,409 --> 00:11:50,978
Well, someone's gonna notice.
264
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:51,979
Too late for that now
265
00:11:52,213 --> 00:11:55,816
because donor number one
is ready to play.
266
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:56,784
So, are you ready?
267
00:11:58,252 --> 00:12:00,921
Well, my ovulation app says it's
go time.
268
00:12:00,955 --> 00:12:02,790
Go on then. Seize the day.
269
00:12:05,059 --> 00:12:07,529
♪ Come to me ♪
270
00:12:07,562 --> 00:12:09,096
♪ Just bring your mouth ♪
271
00:12:10,064 --> 00:12:11,365
♪ closer to my.. ♪
272
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,067
Hi.
273
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,068
Oh.
274
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,005
Hi.
275
00:12:20,074 --> 00:12:23,010
- Hi.
- I'm MJ. What's going on?
276
00:12:24,278 --> 00:12:26,814
Did you know this was
a birthday party?
277
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,249
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
278
00:12:28,282 --> 00:12:29,483
Oh, okay.
279
00:12:29,517 --> 00:12:31,352
I kind of really don't know
why I'm here.
280
00:12:31,385 --> 00:12:34,255
I'm not even that good friends
with Amandine
281
00:12:34,288 --> 00:12:36,457
or at all, actually.
282
00:12:36,490 --> 00:12:39,126
Well, you can I can be friends.
283
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,361
Wow, thank you.
284
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,497
Friends with benefits,
if you want.
285
00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:50,070
- Okay.
- Um, so MJ, huh,
286
00:12:50,104 --> 00:12:51,238
that's not
short for Maryjane, is it?
287
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:55,276
No, no. I wish.
288
00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:57,512
Actually, no. I don't wish that
my name was Maryjane.
289
00:12:57,545 --> 00:12:58,979
-No.
-No.
290
00:12:59,013 --> 00:13:02,216
And my MJ is for
Morris Jerusalem.
291
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:04,552
Morris is my mother's
grandfather's name.
292
00:13:04,586 --> 00:13:07,254
And Jerusalem is the city
where I was conceived.
293
00:13:07,288 --> 00:13:09,189
-Oh, that's nice.
-I often say,
294
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,526
well, thank goodness that I
wasn't conceived in Frankfurt
295
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:14,395
because then I'd be quite an MF.
296
00:13:17,031 --> 00:13:18,165
-Guys.
-Hi.
297
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,000
You want to try some of this?
It's pretty good.
298
00:13:20,034 --> 00:13:22,570
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm taking an Uber later.
299
00:13:22,604 --> 00:13:24,972
And I like to be of sound mind
when I'm
300
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,608
-in a car with a stranger.
-Oh.
301
00:13:26,641 --> 00:13:29,176
Okay, well, you have got
to try this.
302
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,912
- It's a Syrah.
- Okay.
303
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,616
Give it a shot.
Tell me what you think.
304
00:13:34,649 --> 00:13:37,151
- Mm. Wow.
- Not bad, right?
305
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,485
-Yeah.
-Almost makes up for the fact
306
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,088
that they call it Syrah Syrah.
Ugh.
307
00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:46,060
My ex-wife was the regional
sales manager for the state.
308
00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:49,597
Um, she ran off with the
sommally..
309
00:13:49,631 --> 00:13:51,533
the sommally- the fucking wine
guy.
310
00:13:51,566 --> 00:13:52,466
She ran off with the wine guy.
311
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,068
Ah, got you.
312
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,969
- Yeah.
- Should I spit it out?
313
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,938
Would you please?
It would make me feel so good.
314
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,576
- I'm Armin by the way.
- Hi.
315
00:14:01,609 --> 00:14:03,243
Hey. You're Molly's friend?
316
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:05,913
The one who works for Jennifer
Aniston's charity, right?
317
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,349
Oh, I actually did
the Standee for you guys.
318
00:14:08,382 --> 00:14:10,484
Yeah, my company-
Hey, my company works..
319
00:14:10,518 --> 00:14:12,620
we actually make those
cardboard standees
320
00:14:12,654 --> 00:14:16,390
that, you know, you can sit on
star's lab in a movie lobby?
321
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:17,391
-Yeah.
-That's cool.
322
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:18,560
Yeah. So, wait.
323
00:14:18,593 --> 00:14:21,128
So you know Amandine as well?
324
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,097
Uh, she's just a work friend.
325
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:25,966
I mean, you know, she wouldn't
know where I live
326
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,401
or anything like that.
327
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,103
Actually, I don't even
work there anymore.
328
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:32,406
I'm moving away to
another city far away.
329
00:14:33,608 --> 00:14:35,442
Wow. So, Jen is more "Horrible
bosses"
330
00:14:35,476 --> 00:14:37,111
than Rachel in real life. Noted.
331
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,012
No, no, no. She's great.
332
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,315
It's just I needed a challenge.
333
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,417
Wanted to mix things up a bit,
so...
334
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:46,420
You know what? I think that is
so healthy to shift gears.
335
00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:48,956
Geoff and I- Well actually,
most of the guys here,
336
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,023
we had a start up.
337
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,626
Not like Amazon or anything.
338
00:14:51,659 --> 00:14:54,094
But once I got big enough,
I had to sell it.
339
00:14:54,128 --> 00:14:56,230
Now, I can kind of do whatever
I want. It's pretty cool.
340
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,464
- Yeah. That's nice.
- Yeah.
341
00:14:57,498 --> 00:14:58,700
Yeah, that's really cool.
342
00:14:58,733 --> 00:15:01,935
I actually put money
into GameStop as well.
343
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,037
I don't know,
well, and I made $3700.
344
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,305
- Oh wow.
- Nice, buddy.
345
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:06,373
- Yeah, thanks.
- It's pretty good.
346
00:15:06,407 --> 00:15:07,441
So, it's like, saying..
347
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:10,978
Now I got a lot of free time,
get to travel.
348
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,615
Which I love so much. I was
working so much before.
349
00:15:13,648 --> 00:15:15,015
Right, I guess.
350
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,619
Takes a minute to start up.
351
00:15:17,652 --> 00:15:20,220
Oh yeah. I mean, all I did was
code, code, code
352
00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:21,221
and pound energy drinks.
353
00:15:21,255 --> 00:15:22,956
Wow.
354
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:23,725
That's why I'm trying
to see as much as the world-
355
00:15:23,758 --> 00:15:25,959
I'm so sorry.
It's just my
356
00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:28,061
mom broke her hip.
357
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:28,962
- Oh my god.
- Oh my god.
358
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:31,365
I'm just dealing with
my brothers.
359
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,500
We're trying to figure out if
we should put her in our home.
360
00:15:33,535 --> 00:15:35,135
Oh, let me know
if you need any help or-
361
00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:37,037
Nope, done. Done.
362
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,006
-Oh, great.
-I'm sorry, you were saying?
363
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,274
Love to travel.
364
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:41,442
-I have a lot of time.
-I'm scared of planes.
365
00:15:41,475 --> 00:15:43,210
To do that. But um-
366
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:44,445
She's gonna bail.
367
00:15:44,478 --> 00:15:46,514
Well, it sounded to me
368
00:15:46,548 --> 00:15:48,583
like you didn't want her
to go through with it.
369
00:15:48,616 --> 00:15:50,217
It's not true.
370
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,654
But do you know how hard it is
to find a single man
371
00:15:52,687 --> 00:15:55,222
who is disease free in the
suburbs? I just-
372
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,191
I don't want to disappoint them.
373
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,195
It is possible that I may
have told them
374
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:03,230
that I have a friend
in need of a-
375
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,600
Like, a confidence boost.
376
00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:07,000
So you're more worried about
377
00:16:07,201 --> 00:16:09,002
your guys friends being
happy than your best friend?
378
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:12,172
Okay, well call it
a win-win situation.
379
00:16:12,206 --> 00:16:13,775
I mean, what's so wrong
with having a plan B?
380
00:16:13,808 --> 00:16:14,776
Oh, I've got a plan B.
381
00:16:14,809 --> 00:16:16,210
I've got a plan C.
382
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,613
Because the plan is
to get her the D.
383
00:16:18,646 --> 00:16:19,681
What is it?
384
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,351
- What is that?
- It's molly.
385
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,019
I don't-
386
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:27,387
MDMA.
387
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:28,790
-I don't under-
-E.
388
00:16:28,823 --> 00:16:29,791
I don't know what you're saying.
389
00:16:29,824 --> 00:16:31,726
Ecst- Ecstasy.
390
00:16:31,759 --> 00:16:33,661
-I know that one.
-Ecstasy, yes.
391
00:16:33,695 --> 00:16:35,329
Just enough to prime the pump.
392
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:36,698
Okay.
393
00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:40,167
Oh, donor number three.
394
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,435
The French teacher
whose wife just died.
395
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:42,504
Okay.
396
00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:45,072
My friend getting
pregnant tonight.
397
00:16:50,545 --> 00:16:52,212
Top me off, will you?
398
00:16:52,246 --> 00:16:54,816
Oh god, I thought
you were the caterer.
399
00:16:54,849 --> 00:16:56,818
I am so sorry.
400
00:16:56,851 --> 00:16:59,521
Behind the table, cool outfit.
401
00:16:59,554 --> 00:17:01,154
I can take it off.
402
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:03,457
Okay.
403
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:08,495
More, more.
404
00:17:08,530 --> 00:17:10,097
I like this one.
405
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:14,101
It's floral and complex
and yeasty.
406
00:17:19,607 --> 00:17:20,708
Like a vagina?
407
00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:25,445
I get a slightly different note.
408
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:27,715
It's got a really good
mouth fill.
409
00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:30,450
I could decant it for you.
410
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:31,686
Let it breathe.
411
00:17:35,523 --> 00:17:37,090
Amadine.
412
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,225
Barbara.
413
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,528
That's a beautiful name.
414
00:17:40,562 --> 00:17:43,096
Not my name. I hate my name.
415
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:45,733
I'll tell you what. How about
you give me your number
416
00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:49,403
and I'll call you whatever
or whenever you want.
417
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:55,375
Balls.
418
00:17:56,911 --> 00:17:58,713
Yo, Goeff. Can I grab you for
two, buddy?
419
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:02,850
-Hi.
-Hey, what's up?
420
00:18:02,884 --> 00:18:04,451
What's up?
421
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:06,854
Were you just
hitting on my sister?
422
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,289
Is that a real question?
423
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,160
Right, right.
424
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:17,397
Umm, it's just that she's
been through
425
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:20,334
a really ugly
divorce recently. So...
426
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,503
So, you want me
to sleep with your sister?
427
00:18:22,537 --> 00:18:23,738
That's sweet of you.
428
00:18:23,771 --> 00:18:26,708
No. No, no.
429
00:18:26,741 --> 00:18:28,509
No, I'm just- I'm worried.
430
00:18:28,543 --> 00:18:30,243
I mean, you know,
she's very-
431
00:18:31,946 --> 00:18:33,848
she's not a lesbian.
432
00:18:33,881 --> 00:18:36,416
Are you sure? Because, you know-
433
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,923
Would you mind
not hitting on my sister
434
00:18:41,956 --> 00:18:43,591
at my birthday party please?
435
00:18:43,625 --> 00:18:44,759
I would mind.
436
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,528
But I won't.
437
00:18:47,562 --> 00:18:49,429
It will be my present to you.
438
00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:50,765
Wow, thank you so much.
439
00:18:50,798 --> 00:18:53,266
- Happy birthday.
- Yeah, I'll treasure it.
440
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,902
- You should.
- Have a great time.
441
00:18:54,936 --> 00:18:56,771
- You too.
- Not too great.
442
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,447
Oh, shit. Oh shit.
443
00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:09,483
-Oh shit.
-No one told me about this.
444
00:19:09,517 --> 00:19:10,484
There's just no good-
you know what?
445
00:19:10,518 --> 00:19:11,753
Every 10 minutes
I have to go.
446
00:19:11,786 --> 00:19:13,220
Sweetheart, you can get lasers.
447
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:14,822
It'll zip that right back up.
448
00:19:14,856 --> 00:19:16,591
Yeah, it's called
a mommy makeover.
449
00:19:16,624 --> 00:19:19,727
They stick a laser up there
and just tighten it all up.
450
00:19:19,761 --> 00:19:22,262
It went from Basset Hound
to Chihuahua. Worth every penny.
451
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,965
Oh!
452
00:19:23,998 --> 00:19:25,566
- Wow.
- Stop.
453
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,300
You know it's true.
454
00:19:28,603 --> 00:19:30,370
You got kids?
455
00:19:30,404 --> 00:19:32,807
-No.
-Husband?
456
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,341
Not anymore.
457
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,943
You should keep your distance.
458
00:19:35,977 --> 00:19:38,245
You might get baby fever.
459
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,615
I'm not kidding.
Happened to me.
460
00:19:40,648 --> 00:19:41,849
All my friends
started having kids.
461
00:19:41,883 --> 00:19:43,951
I thought I should have kids.
462
00:19:43,985 --> 00:19:45,787
All these friends,
463
00:19:45,820 --> 00:19:47,989
they're gonna be gone
once she pops a baby out.
464
00:19:48,022 --> 00:19:49,791
She'll make new friends.
465
00:19:49,824 --> 00:19:51,626
The kids' friend's parents.
466
00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:53,628
And she'll think
she has new "interests."
467
00:19:53,661 --> 00:19:56,731
But they're really
the kids' interests.
468
00:19:56,764 --> 00:19:59,567
And when the kids graduate,
poof, gone so.
469
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,870
All these people she
invested all her time with,
470
00:20:02,904 --> 00:20:06,373
she'll realize she has
nothing in common with them.
471
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,810
And then she'll realize
that her husband
472
00:20:08,843 --> 00:20:10,343
is staying too late at work.
473
00:20:11,579 --> 00:20:13,681
So, she'll shoot her
face fill with Botox,
474
00:20:13,715 --> 00:20:15,382
get a boob job.
475
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:16,483
Get a mommy makeover?
476
00:20:16,517 --> 00:20:18,019
Exactly.
477
00:20:18,052 --> 00:20:20,822
To chase what she
used to look like.
478
00:20:20,855 --> 00:20:24,759
before the kids literally
suck the life out of her.
479
00:20:24,792 --> 00:20:27,427
Instead, she'll just look like
she's trying too hard.
480
00:20:27,461 --> 00:20:29,664
And he'll leave her for
an actual 20-year-old.
481
00:20:29,697 --> 00:20:31,032
Who loves giving blowjobs?
482
00:20:31,065 --> 00:20:33,634
Fucking blowjobs.
483
00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:37,672
All because she thought
it'd make her life complete
484
00:20:37,705 --> 00:20:39,473
-to have a baby.
-Oh, no, no.
485
00:20:39,507 --> 00:20:42,442
That's got Molly's
lipstick on it.
486
00:20:42,476 --> 00:20:44,612
-I think this is your shade.
-Thank you.
487
00:20:44,645 --> 00:20:47,915
I mean, you don't regret
having babies, right?
488
00:20:47,949 --> 00:20:49,717
Oh, no. God, no.
489
00:20:49,751 --> 00:20:51,786
They're the loves of my life.
490
00:20:51,819 --> 00:20:54,387
As much as I hate my ex,
I'll always be grateful to him
491
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:55,990
for giving me my babies.
492
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:59,927
Listen to me,
don't listen to me.
493
00:20:59,961 --> 00:21:01,529
I just need to get laid.
494
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,465
Okay.
We get what you wish for.
495
00:21:06,667 --> 00:21:10,370
On that note,
I think I'm ready.
496
00:21:11,606 --> 00:21:12,874
- Alright.
- Do you snorkle?
497
00:21:12,907 --> 00:21:15,076
No, I never get into the ocean.
498
00:21:15,109 --> 00:21:17,044
Oh god, what do I say?
499
00:21:17,078 --> 00:21:19,847
Tell him how wet your pussy is.
They love that.
500
00:21:19,881 --> 00:21:21,983
I hate that word.
501
00:21:22,016 --> 00:21:23,050
Pussy?
502
00:21:23,084 --> 00:21:24,051
Yeah.
503
00:21:24,085 --> 00:21:25,586
What do you say?
504
00:21:25,620 --> 00:21:27,622
I don't.
505
00:21:27,655 --> 00:21:30,658
So, when you told Todd to like-
506
00:21:30,691 --> 00:21:32,627
Oh, we didn't talk during-
507
00:21:33,928 --> 00:21:35,997
Or before.
508
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:38,966
Or after.
509
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,968
Oh God.
510
00:21:41,002 --> 00:21:42,670
Okay, so tonight,
511
00:21:42,703 --> 00:21:45,740
you're gonna say
some nasty pornstar shit.
512
00:21:45,773 --> 00:21:47,708
Just get disgusting.
513
00:21:47,742 --> 00:21:50,111
Yeah, but that's not me.
514
00:21:50,144 --> 00:21:53,480
I know that's not you.
But tonight, you're not you.
515
00:21:53,514 --> 00:21:56,818
Okay? You're not the NPR-loving,
farmer's market going,
516
00:21:56,851 --> 00:21:58,351
avocado toast eating Jaclyn.
517
00:21:58,385 --> 00:21:59,486
You're gonna be
something different.
518
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,889
You're the Onlyfans, like
Jacklina.
519
00:22:01,923 --> 00:22:03,691
You're gonna be
a slut tonight, okay?
520
00:22:03,724 --> 00:22:04,725
Yeah, okay. Okay.
521
00:22:04,759 --> 00:22:06,127
You're a slut.
522
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,962
-Well, huh.
-Slut. Slut
523
00:22:09,897 --> 00:22:11,532
- Really?
- Yeah.
524
00:22:11,566 --> 00:22:12,667
You've never been to
swimming?
Hey. Hey. Hi.
525
00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:14,467
Oh.
526
00:22:14,502 --> 00:22:15,703
You like surfing?
527
00:22:15,736 --> 00:22:17,839
Huh, no, I would never surf.
528
00:22:19,106 --> 00:22:21,609
So, you'd never- you just.. you
never do it?
529
00:22:21,642 --> 00:22:23,511
No, I'm scared of sharks.
530
00:22:23,544 --> 00:22:25,146
There is great white sharks
that you should be scared of.
531
00:22:25,179 --> 00:22:26,714
But they're east coast, man.
532
00:22:28,616 --> 00:22:29,449
All the west coast sharks
are white sharks.
533
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:30,885
I got you, girl.
534
00:22:30,918 --> 00:22:31,986
Cuddly nice sharks.
535
00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:34,487
You gotta get out there.
536
00:22:34,522 --> 00:22:35,790
Geoff is over there.
537
00:22:35,823 --> 00:22:37,558
Geoff?I'm Shopia.
538
00:22:37,592 --> 00:22:38,626
Excuse me.
539
00:22:38,659 --> 00:22:39,961
Okay. Am I in trouble?
540
00:22:39,994 --> 00:22:41,128
No.
541
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:48,135
Ugh, God, I need a drink.
542
00:22:48,169 --> 00:22:50,470
Your glass is right there,
just..
543
00:22:54,542 --> 00:22:55,977
Oh no, molly.
544
00:22:56,010 --> 00:22:56,944
Molly, that's Molly in there.
545
00:22:56,978 --> 00:22:58,179
You drank it all.
546
00:22:58,212 --> 00:22:59,580
That's all of it.
547
00:22:59,614 --> 00:23:00,948
It's gone.
548
00:23:00,982 --> 00:23:02,482
It's in your body now.
549
00:23:07,688 --> 00:23:10,423
-Okay.
-Okay, wow.
550
00:23:10,457 --> 00:23:12,126
-Let's just-
-What?
551
00:23:12,159 --> 00:23:13,828
Wow, wow.
552
00:23:13,861 --> 00:23:15,830
Don't need those.
553
00:23:15,863 --> 00:23:18,666
-Right, um.
-Yeah, so.
554
00:23:18,699 --> 00:23:21,068
-Oh.
-Wow, wow.
555
00:23:21,102 --> 00:23:22,937
Wow, that is-
556
00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:24,672
That is so tone.
557
00:23:24,705 --> 00:23:25,840
Oh, thank you.
558
00:23:25,873 --> 00:23:27,074
You do pilates?
559
00:23:27,108 --> 00:23:28,709
I do, yeah.
560
00:23:28,743 --> 00:23:29,944
I can tell, I can tell.
561
00:23:29,977 --> 00:23:32,079
You can touch it
if you want.
562
00:23:32,113 --> 00:23:34,081
I would. I want.
563
00:23:34,115 --> 00:23:35,816
Okay.
564
00:23:35,850 --> 00:23:36,951
Alright.
565
00:23:38,552 --> 00:23:41,722
Okay, you're sure that
you want me to do this?
566
00:23:41,756 --> 00:23:44,659
I think I couldn't be
more clear.
567
00:23:44,692 --> 00:23:45,660
Yeah, I do.
568
00:23:45,693 --> 00:23:47,728
I do want you to do this.
569
00:23:47,762 --> 00:23:48,829
- Okay.
- Yeah.
570
00:23:48,863 --> 00:23:51,098
Okay. Great. I'll be over here.
571
00:23:51,132 --> 00:23:52,566
Okay.
572
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,602
Oh, wait, I don't have
a condom or anything.
573
00:23:54,635 --> 00:23:56,070
Oh, ah!
574
00:23:56,103 --> 00:23:57,038
You know, I don't want to
assume
when I go out this-
575
00:23:57,071 --> 00:23:59,073
I just- it's just in the bag.
576
00:23:59,106 --> 00:24:01,842
There's a-Oh,
577
00:24:01,876 --> 00:24:04,612
do you have a medium?
578
00:24:04,645 --> 00:24:05,980
-Here.
-Okay, wow.
579
00:24:06,013 --> 00:24:07,882
Wait, we should set the mood?
580
00:24:07,915 --> 00:24:10,885
I have Spotify premium, no ads.
581
00:24:10,918 --> 00:24:12,820
- We don't need that.
- I can put a slow jam playlist.
582
00:24:12,853 --> 00:24:13,888
Okay, wait.
583
00:24:13,921 --> 00:24:16,057
I've- I've never done this
before.
584
00:24:16,090 --> 00:24:17,892
-Well, no, I mean I've had sex.
-Yeah, okay, good. That's great.
585
00:24:17,925 --> 00:24:20,594
You know, but- Not with people
around.
586
00:24:20,628 --> 00:24:22,029
It's just us here.
587
00:24:22,063 --> 00:24:23,631
Wait, that's not true.
That's not true.
588
00:24:23,664 --> 00:24:25,498
Actually when I was in college,
589
00:24:25,533 --> 00:24:26,734
my girlfriend and I,
we went camping.
590
00:24:26,767 --> 00:24:27,802
-Wow.
-Consensual.
591
00:24:27,835 --> 00:24:29,503
And- and-wow.
592
00:24:30,838 --> 00:24:33,641
Wow.
593
00:24:33,674 --> 00:24:35,276
And there was a tent next to us.
594
00:24:35,309 --> 00:24:37,511
And there were people
having sex in there loudly.
595
00:24:37,545 --> 00:24:41,282
Say some pornstar
nasty ass shit.
596
00:24:41,315 --> 00:24:42,717
It's not like-
597
00:24:42,750 --> 00:24:44,185
I will murder.
598
00:24:44,218 --> 00:24:45,286
They ruined our lives.
599
00:24:45,319 --> 00:24:46,687
Pussy.
600
00:24:46,721 --> 00:24:48,656
I want you to murder my pussy.
601
00:24:50,324 --> 00:24:51,959
Excuse me?
602
00:24:51,993 --> 00:24:56,030
I want you to tell me. How
you're gonna murder my pussy?
603
00:24:56,063 --> 00:24:58,132
-Yeah.
-Okay.
604
00:24:58,165 --> 00:25:00,968
Well, I'll use my penis
605
00:25:01,002 --> 00:25:04,739
to strangle it until it's dead.
606
00:25:04,772 --> 00:25:06,273
Yeah.
607
00:25:06,307 --> 00:25:07,575
Oh.
608
00:25:07,608 --> 00:25:08,709
No, this is weird.
609
00:25:08,743 --> 00:25:09,844
This is weird, I'm sorry I
don't-
610
00:25:09,877 --> 00:25:10,978
I'm sorry.
611
00:25:11,012 --> 00:25:11,979
I don't talk like
that.I'm sorry.
612
00:25:12,013 --> 00:25:13,280
It's okay.
613
00:25:13,314 --> 00:25:16,283
I just thought talking dirty
would turn you on.
614
00:25:16,317 --> 00:25:20,121
I don't know what to do
to turn you on.
615
00:25:21,622 --> 00:25:23,024
I don't know how to do this.
616
00:25:23,057 --> 00:25:24,091
Are you kidding me?
617
00:25:25,593 --> 00:25:26,927
You?
618
00:25:26,961 --> 00:25:30,031
You do not have to use
any gimmicks to turn me on.
619
00:25:30,064 --> 00:25:32,900
Honestly, I would really just
love to kiss you.
620
00:25:32,933 --> 00:25:35,336
If that's okay.
621
00:25:35,369 --> 00:25:36,737
Okay, yeah.
622
00:25:36,771 --> 00:25:38,205
Yeah.
623
00:25:38,239 --> 00:25:40,975
Yeah. I would love that.
624
00:25:54,388 --> 00:25:56,323
Hey you guys.
625
00:25:56,357 --> 00:25:57,725
Are you doing okay?
626
00:25:57,758 --> 00:25:59,794
Do you have everything you need?
627
00:25:59,827 --> 00:26:01,028
-Thank you so much.
-I want you
628
00:26:01,062 --> 00:26:02,029
to have the best time ever.
629
00:26:02,063 --> 00:26:04,298
Oh, thank you.
630
00:26:04,331 --> 00:26:08,235
Oh my god, baby.
631
00:26:08,269 --> 00:26:10,237
You guys look great together.
632
00:26:10,271 --> 00:26:13,340
It's just such
a beautiful couple.
633
00:26:13,374 --> 00:26:15,643
Stay the night if you want.
Make yourselves at home.
634
00:26:15,676 --> 00:26:17,745
Hey girl, let me talk to you.
635
00:26:17,778 --> 00:26:19,680
Hey, come on over here.
636
00:26:20,948 --> 00:26:22,249
- How are you feeling?
- Oh my gosh.
637
00:26:22,283 --> 00:26:23,818
I feel great.
638
00:26:23,851 --> 00:26:25,386
I love these people.
639
00:26:25,419 --> 00:26:28,055
These are- these are good
people.
640
00:26:28,089 --> 00:26:30,291
- Yeah.
- Oh, I forgot.
641
00:26:30,324 --> 00:26:32,193
The donor number
three cancelled.
642
00:26:32,226 --> 00:26:34,895
Who are you gonna get
to fill the empty slot?
643
00:26:34,929 --> 00:26:36,697
Her empty slot,
like, a vagina?
644
00:26:38,899 --> 00:26:40,101
- That was good.
- Like, her vagina.
645
00:26:41,368 --> 00:26:42,837
I know a guy, I'll call him.
646
00:26:42,870 --> 00:26:44,839
But you need to sit down.
647
00:26:44,872 --> 00:26:47,908
Oh my god,
you are such a good friend.
648
00:26:47,942 --> 00:26:50,111
You know, we should do things,
you and me.
649
00:26:50,144 --> 00:26:52,980
It doesn't always have to be
the three of us.
650
00:26:53,013 --> 00:26:54,849
Right? Just call me, girl.
651
00:26:54,882 --> 00:26:56,283
And also, you're so pretty.
652
00:26:56,317 --> 00:26:58,285
I never told you that before.
653
00:26:58,319 --> 00:26:59,920
I want it, but I'm not going to.
654
00:26:59,954 --> 00:27:02,123
- You better not.
- Because I know I shouldn't.
655
00:27:02,156 --> 00:27:03,424
I'm doing the work.
656
00:27:03,457 --> 00:27:04,959
Good, good, okay.
657
00:27:04,992 --> 00:27:06,327
Do you wanna touch my hair?
658
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,162
My hair is so soft.
659
00:27:08,195 --> 00:27:13,000
I have a conditioner
that costs $125.
660
00:27:13,033 --> 00:27:14,902
- That's a lot of money.
- That's so dumb.
661
00:27:14,935 --> 00:27:16,370
It's beautiful.
662
00:27:16,403 --> 00:27:19,306
Okay, I'm gonna go call my guy,
but you sit down, alright?
663
00:27:19,340 --> 00:27:21,308
Don't do a lot of things.
664
00:27:21,342 --> 00:27:23,110
Okay. I'll sit in my den.
665
00:27:23,144 --> 00:27:24,678
I have a great chair in there.
666
00:27:24,712 --> 00:27:26,080
- Lay out.
- It's fluffy.
667
00:27:26,113 --> 00:27:28,015
Hi, where's
the closest bathroom?
668
00:27:28,048 --> 00:27:30,985
It's right over there.
Wow, your boobs got big.
669
00:27:31,018 --> 00:27:32,119
Do they hurt yet?
670
00:27:32,153 --> 00:27:34,021
They will.
When you start nursing.
671
00:27:34,054 --> 00:27:35,456
Are you gonna nurse?
672
00:27:35,489 --> 00:27:38,025
I loved nursing so much.
673
00:27:38,058 --> 00:27:41,195
Oh my gosh. But it does hurt
when it chafes.
674
00:27:41,228 --> 00:27:43,731
And I got mastitis
so bad one time,
675
00:27:43,764 --> 00:27:46,200
Geoff had to put
a hot compress on my boobs
676
00:27:46,233 --> 00:27:47,801
and milk me like a cow.
677
00:27:47,835 --> 00:27:49,803
Oh, this is so much information.
678
00:27:51,038 --> 00:27:53,174
-Are you okay?
-Oh, no. They got better.
679
00:27:53,207 --> 00:27:55,442
Thank you for asking that.
680
00:27:55,476 --> 00:27:58,846
Hey, so.. and the bathroom is
there. Thank you.
681
00:27:58,879 --> 00:28:00,948
Remember, breast feeding
is best feeding.
682
00:28:02,983 --> 00:28:04,251
Okay.
683
00:28:11,926 --> 00:28:13,294
Hello?
684
00:28:13,327 --> 00:28:16,230
I'm almost done.
I'm almost done.
685
00:28:16,263 --> 00:28:17,398
Okay.
686
00:28:17,431 --> 00:28:19,333
Well, pregnant lady
needs to pee-pee.
687
00:28:21,435 --> 00:28:23,370
I have Irritable
Bowel Syndrome.
688
00:28:26,340 --> 00:28:27,474
Okay.
689
00:28:28,809 --> 00:28:30,811
I'll find another.
690
00:28:30,844 --> 00:28:31,845
Good luck with that.
691
00:28:40,921 --> 00:28:44,491
-That was fun.
-Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.
692
00:28:44,526 --> 00:28:45,726
Okay.
693
00:28:47,428 --> 00:28:49,330
Oh no. Oh no.
694
00:28:49,363 --> 00:28:50,998
What?
695
00:28:51,031 --> 00:28:52,099
The condom broke.
696
00:28:54,034 --> 00:28:55,903
Oh, no. Oh.
697
00:28:55,936 --> 00:28:57,037
Oh my god.
I'm so, so, sorry.
698
00:28:57,071 --> 00:28:58,806
I don't know
how this happened.
699
00:28:58,839 --> 00:28:59,974
You know maybe-
700
00:29:00,007 --> 00:29:01,375
Maybe you're just-
701
00:29:01,408 --> 00:29:03,043
You're too big
and the condom burst.
702
00:29:04,945 --> 00:29:06,347
That's the nicest thing
anyone has ever said to me.
703
00:29:07,848 --> 00:29:09,183
This is just-
704
00:29:09,216 --> 00:29:11,318
I'm on the pills,
it was just-
705
00:29:11,352 --> 00:29:13,787
You know, in case of STDs.
706
00:29:13,821 --> 00:29:15,356
Oh, don't worry about that.
I'm clean.
707
00:29:15,389 --> 00:29:17,157
I give my blood
to Quest all the time.
708
00:29:17,191 --> 00:29:19,260
They should give me
a punch card.
709
00:29:19,293 --> 00:29:21,161
What?
710
00:29:21,195 --> 00:29:23,063
Oh, I have a blood disorder.
711
00:29:24,532 --> 00:29:27,334
What? Like, are you a
hemophiliac or-?
712
00:29:27,368 --> 00:29:30,070
No, no.
I just bruise really easily.
713
00:29:30,104 --> 00:29:32,072
You know? Oh, up here.
714
00:29:32,106 --> 00:29:33,340
-See that?
-Oh.
715
00:29:33,374 --> 00:29:35,809
That's from a collision
with a shopping cart.
716
00:29:35,843 --> 00:29:38,912
Oh, thank god. For you.
717
00:29:38,946 --> 00:29:40,047
Yeah.
718
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,549
It's pretty funny actually.
719
00:29:41,583 --> 00:29:43,585
Child protective services
used to call my parents
720
00:29:43,618 --> 00:29:44,952
-all the time.
-Oh.
721
00:29:44,985 --> 00:29:46,153
Yeah.
722
00:29:48,455 --> 00:29:50,357
Why don't you go first.
And then I'll come later.
723
00:29:50,391 --> 00:29:52,793
Just so it's not so conspicuous.
724
00:29:58,265 --> 00:29:59,433
- Oh, you mean now?
- Yeah.
725
00:29:59,466 --> 00:30:01,536
Okay.
726
00:30:08,242 --> 00:30:11,078
- Hey, it's me, Amandine.
- Oh, okay.
727
00:30:11,111 --> 00:30:13,380
♪ Well, I'm gonna put you down
on the microphone ♪
728
00:30:13,414 --> 00:30:15,449
♪ And drop down low
like Al Capone ♪
729
00:30:18,620 --> 00:30:19,987
Okay.
730
00:30:20,020 --> 00:30:21,989
Getting a little help
from gravity.
731
00:30:22,022 --> 00:30:23,390
Listen, I totally appreciate
you finding him.
732
00:30:23,424 --> 00:30:24,858
He was super right.
733
00:30:24,892 --> 00:30:26,126
But did you know that
he had a blood disorder?
734
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,597
Okay, getting a full DNA workup
was not on the checklist.
735
00:30:29,631 --> 00:30:32,066
But on a related note,
donor number three did cancel.
736
00:30:32,099 --> 00:30:33,568
Oh, the French teacher?
737
00:30:33,601 --> 00:30:35,302
- Oui.
- Crap, he sounded promising.
738
00:30:35,336 --> 00:30:36,904
Well, on an unrelated note,
739
00:30:36,937 --> 00:30:39,340
there might be a little
itsy-bitsy problem with Molly.
740
00:30:39,373 --> 00:30:41,241
Argh, is she drunk?
741
00:30:41,275 --> 00:30:42,876
- Well, I wouldn't say drunk.
- Oh, she used to
742
00:30:42,910 --> 00:30:44,512
do this to me all the
time in college.
743
00:30:44,546 --> 00:30:45,946
I'd meet a guy
I was really into,
744
00:30:45,979 --> 00:30:47,281
and then she'd get
super hammered
745
00:30:47,314 --> 00:30:49,651
and then I'd have to walk her
back to dorm room.
746
00:30:49,684 --> 00:30:51,085
That's probably it.
I'm gonna go.
747
00:30:51,118 --> 00:30:53,521
I'mma see you out there.
748
00:30:53,555 --> 00:30:55,389
- Hey.
- What?
749
00:30:55,422 --> 00:30:56,490
Can you get me a snack?
750
00:30:56,524 --> 00:30:57,559
No.
751
00:31:02,162 --> 00:31:04,031
Kahlil, get on up here buddy.
752
00:31:04,064 --> 00:31:06,133
Your turn, your turn.
You burn him.
753
00:31:06,166 --> 00:31:07,535
Happy birthday, buddy.
754
00:31:07,569 --> 00:31:08,570
There we go.
755
00:31:08,603 --> 00:31:11,972
Alright, this is my favorite.
756
00:31:12,005 --> 00:31:14,375
In his garage, we're working
about to make millions.
757
00:31:14,408 --> 00:31:15,610
Right.
758
00:31:15,810 --> 00:31:17,911
- And what happens?
- His septic tank breaks.
759
00:31:17,945 --> 00:31:20,347
And so, we are literally
working in a shit.
760
00:31:20,381 --> 00:31:22,049
And what did you say to me?
What did you say?
761
00:31:22,082 --> 00:31:23,651
- I couldn't smell it.
- Couldn't smell it.
762
00:31:23,685 --> 00:31:25,520
Couldn't smell his own shit.
763
00:31:25,553 --> 00:31:27,321
I just thought you guys were
trying to get out of working.
764
00:31:29,524 --> 00:31:31,058
- We were.
- Well, shut up about it.
765
00:31:31,091 --> 00:31:32,192
-I destroyed..
-Tim!
766
00:31:32,226 --> 00:31:35,329
Everybody, Tim is here.
Tim is here.
767
00:31:35,362 --> 00:31:37,532
All of the beautiful artwork
that we have in our house,
768
00:31:37,565 --> 00:31:39,233
it's almost all him.
769
00:31:39,266 --> 00:31:41,101
I love them.
I was gonna ask.
770
00:31:41,135 --> 00:31:42,704
I love the dog paintings.
So fun.
771
00:31:42,737 --> 00:31:44,672
Yeah, I tried to buy it all.
772
00:31:44,706 --> 00:31:46,306
You basically did, I mean.
773
00:31:46,340 --> 00:31:49,410
Jackie, Jackie, it's Tim time.
774
00:31:49,443 --> 00:31:51,412
It's Tim time. Tim.
775
00:31:51,445 --> 00:31:53,213
- Shh.
- Jackie, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie.
776
00:31:53,247 --> 00:31:54,982
-Come on.
-Tim time.
777
00:31:55,015 --> 00:31:57,619
-Tim time.
-Wait, what's Tim time?
778
00:31:57,652 --> 00:32:01,288
Honey, your gift is here,
and your's.
779
00:32:01,321 --> 00:32:02,690
Here we are.
780
00:32:02,724 --> 00:32:06,260
Yap, careful, careful.
It's still little wet.
781
00:32:08,530 --> 00:32:10,598
- So is she.
- Excuse me, excuse me.
782
00:32:10,632 --> 00:32:14,234
What-? Oh my god. Wow.
783
00:32:15,570 --> 00:32:16,571
-I mean-
-MOLLY: Look at that.
784
00:32:16,604 --> 00:32:19,006
Thank you. Thank you, Molls.
785
00:32:19,039 --> 00:32:20,575
Aww.
786
00:32:20,608 --> 00:32:21,942
Alright.
787
00:32:25,345 --> 00:32:27,549
Wow. Wow.
788
00:32:27,582 --> 00:32:31,485
Okay. Alright. She just loves
art. You know?
789
00:32:31,519 --> 00:32:33,153
Yeah, yeah.
790
00:32:33,187 --> 00:32:35,255
-Yummy.
-God.
791
00:32:35,289 --> 00:32:37,257
Tim, I mean this is phenomenal.
792
00:32:37,291 --> 00:32:39,059
Really phenomenal.
793
00:32:39,092 --> 00:32:40,662
How did you get the-?
794
00:32:40,695 --> 00:32:42,362
Well, for your face,
795
00:32:42,396 --> 00:32:44,998
I actually used one of
your old wedding photos.
796
00:32:45,032 --> 00:32:47,034
I had to age it up
just a little bit.
797
00:32:47,067 --> 00:32:49,303
- Just a little bit.
- Okay.
798
00:32:49,336 --> 00:32:52,372
And then for you body,
I used that guy.
799
00:32:54,374 --> 00:32:56,109
- How are you doing?
- Oh, man.
800
00:32:57,444 --> 00:32:59,346
Yeah.
He's pretty proud of himself.
801
00:32:59,379 --> 00:33:02,316
It is so good.
Oh, he's so talented.
802
00:33:02,349 --> 00:33:04,284
He does baby portraits too.
803
00:33:05,285 --> 00:33:06,754
You have to do our's.
804
00:33:06,788 --> 00:33:08,355
Okay, okay.
805
00:33:08,388 --> 00:33:12,092
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you. Yes.
806
00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:13,260
Thank you.
807
00:33:15,229 --> 00:33:17,130
So you must really love dogs.
808
00:33:17,164 --> 00:33:20,434
Um, actually I'm allergic.
809
00:33:20,467 --> 00:33:22,570
You know, people just
send me pictures of their dogs
810
00:33:22,604 --> 00:33:25,205
and then I paint them.
811
00:33:25,239 --> 00:33:27,441
But you must like them
a little bit, right?
812
00:33:27,474 --> 00:33:29,611
I don't. I can't stand them.
813
00:33:29,644 --> 00:33:32,179
They slobber.
They crap on the floor.
814
00:33:32,212 --> 00:33:34,047
They eat your shoes.
815
00:33:34,081 --> 00:33:37,552
But people love dogs,
so easy money.
816
00:33:38,753 --> 00:33:40,522
I don't understand
what's going on.
817
00:33:40,555 --> 00:33:44,792
We were just very friendly and
then who the hell is this guy?
818
00:33:44,826 --> 00:33:46,493
Yeah, so what he's got
a handsome face
819
00:33:46,528 --> 00:33:49,496
and perfect hair
and considerable talent?
820
00:33:49,531 --> 00:33:50,565
Oh god.
821
00:33:50,598 --> 00:33:52,700
Oh okay, alright.
822
00:33:52,734 --> 00:33:55,269
You know what would
make a good impression?
823
00:33:55,302 --> 00:33:57,404
A Jeff Goldblum standee.
824
00:33:57,437 --> 00:34:01,475
She loves him.
You will be like her hero.
825
00:34:01,509 --> 00:34:03,745
Yeah, but right now, all I have
is some of the Dodgers.
826
00:34:03,778 --> 00:34:06,079
And an old Batman.
827
00:34:06,113 --> 00:34:08,115
To the Batomobile then.
828
00:34:09,416 --> 00:34:10,585
I'll be back.
829
00:34:11,619 --> 00:34:12,654
That was the terminator.
830
00:34:12,954 --> 00:34:14,722
Oh my god, I'm losing it,
Amandine. I'm losing it.
831
00:34:14,756 --> 00:34:15,757
Go find it, go find it.
832
00:34:15,790 --> 00:34:17,625
Okay. I'm coming right back.
833
00:34:19,393 --> 00:34:21,361
Okay, so what about babies?
834
00:34:23,196 --> 00:34:24,264
I can't stand babies.
835
00:34:24,298 --> 00:34:25,733
I'm sorry,
I can't stand them.
836
00:34:25,767 --> 00:34:28,770
Babies are- babies are stupid.
837
00:34:28,803 --> 00:34:30,705
I mean, you ever tried to have
a conversation with a baby?
838
00:34:30,738 --> 00:34:32,640
It's remarkably one-sided.
839
00:34:32,674 --> 00:34:35,309
Well, they're babies,
so they can't even talk.
840
00:34:35,342 --> 00:34:37,879
Because babies are stupid.
841
00:34:37,912 --> 00:34:39,781
So, you don't like
babies or dogs?
842
00:34:39,814 --> 00:34:42,182
Or surfing. I hate surfing.
843
00:34:42,215 --> 00:34:43,417
Well, how do you make art about
something
844
00:34:43,450 --> 00:34:44,418
you don't even like?
845
00:34:44,652 --> 00:34:46,721
That's why they call us
starving artists.
846
00:34:46,754 --> 00:34:48,322
Speaking of which,
there's the food.
847
00:34:48,355 --> 00:34:49,389
Excuse me.
848
00:34:50,725 --> 00:34:52,359
Okay, we got a problem.
849
00:34:52,392 --> 00:34:54,261
MJ got feelings.
850
00:34:54,294 --> 00:34:55,863
-What do you mean feelings?
-Like, feelings feelings.
851
00:34:55,897 --> 00:34:58,231
You need to bounce off
before he gets back, okay?
852
00:34:58,265 --> 00:35:00,467
Well, I'm thinking of
bouncing right now.
853
00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:02,369
Absolutely not. No.
854
00:35:02,402 --> 00:35:04,304
One D down.
Two more Ds to go.
855
00:35:04,338 --> 00:35:05,372
I can't do this.
856
00:35:05,405 --> 00:35:06,874
Yes, you can.
857
00:35:06,908 --> 00:35:09,577
The goal is to be a hoe.
858
00:35:09,611 --> 00:35:11,445
Mom.
859
00:35:11,478 --> 00:35:13,514
Hoe now, mom later.
There's a through line.
860
00:35:13,548 --> 00:35:14,682
Okay.
861
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:20,788
Wow.
862
00:35:20,822 --> 00:35:22,724
You weren't kidding
about the starving artist.
863
00:35:22,757 --> 00:35:24,324
It's Pavlovian.
864
00:35:24,358 --> 00:35:26,594
All these art openings always
have amazing spreads,
865
00:35:26,628 --> 00:35:28,328
and if I keep my mouth
filled with food,
866
00:35:28,362 --> 00:35:29,797
people think they're rude
if they come up to me
867
00:35:29,831 --> 00:35:33,233
and ask me "What were you
trying to say with this piece?"
868
00:35:33,266 --> 00:35:35,402
Just give you the money
and leave you alone, right?
869
00:35:35,435 --> 00:35:36,704
You wanna be my agent?
870
00:35:39,439 --> 00:35:41,408
Oh, here we go. Yeah.
871
00:35:41,441 --> 00:35:44,277
I'm sure she's perfectly nice,
872
00:35:44,311 --> 00:35:47,515
but I get hit on by that type
all the time.
873
00:35:49,349 --> 00:35:50,952
What's your type?
874
00:35:50,985 --> 00:35:55,355
Oh, unbearable self-involved
assholes. Know any?
875
00:35:55,389 --> 00:35:57,959
Okay, you're right.
I should apologize to her.
876
00:35:57,992 --> 00:35:59,393
I'm sorry. I'm a little salty.
877
00:36:00,628 --> 00:36:02,530
My ex recently got
in touch with me
878
00:36:02,563 --> 00:36:03,698
and called me a sell-out
879
00:36:03,731 --> 00:36:07,300
because I painted a mural
for YouTube.
880
00:36:07,334 --> 00:36:09,469
One mural, okay?
881
00:36:09,504 --> 00:36:12,272
Diego Rivera did
his best work for Rockefeller.
882
00:36:12,305 --> 00:36:13,373
Commissioned mural.
883
00:36:13,574 --> 00:36:15,910
The Sistine Chapel was
a commissioned mural.
884
00:36:15,943 --> 00:36:18,278
Commerce and art.
Corporate art.
885
00:36:18,311 --> 00:36:20,447
What's the big deal?
Now- now my ex is going out
886
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:21,949
with some 50-year-old.
887
00:36:21,983 --> 00:36:25,218
He's 50. He designs food courts
at malls, okay?
888
00:36:25,252 --> 00:36:26,521
-I'm a sell out?
-Oh, fuck off.
889
00:36:27,722 --> 00:36:29,590
I'm sorry.
I haven't had the pleasure.
890
00:36:29,624 --> 00:36:31,258
And you're not going to.
891
00:36:31,291 --> 00:36:32,994
All the men here have
younger wives.
892
00:36:33,027 --> 00:36:34,394
Look.
893
00:36:34,428 --> 00:36:37,397
Our hosts, your patrons,
seven years apart.
894
00:36:37,431 --> 00:36:38,933
- Well, he looks old.
- He has no hair.
895
00:36:38,966 --> 00:36:42,235
Preggo and Deer in Headlights,
more like ten years.
896
00:36:42,269 --> 00:36:43,771
Silver fox and Kim Kardashian.
897
00:36:43,805 --> 00:36:46,774
And especially Surf and Turf.
898
00:36:46,808 --> 00:36:48,810
Why do you think that is?
899
00:36:50,778 --> 00:36:52,747
All women are gold diggers?
900
00:36:52,780 --> 00:36:55,616
Supply and demand.
901
00:36:55,650 --> 00:36:59,219
There's not much demand
for aging aimless artist.
902
00:37:00,353 --> 00:37:01,689
But you two have fun.
903
00:37:04,525 --> 00:37:06,493
I think I'm in love.
904
00:37:06,527 --> 00:37:09,396
You look kind of cute when
you get your ass handed to you.
905
00:37:09,429 --> 00:37:10,932
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
906
00:37:10,965 --> 00:37:13,366
Hey Tim, I love it.
907
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,636
Thank you so much, again.
908
00:37:15,670 --> 00:37:17,370
Although, I'm gonna have to
hide it in my office
909
00:37:17,404 --> 00:37:20,373
so Molly doesn't get sad
every time I take my shirt off.
910
00:37:20,407 --> 00:37:23,443
Thank you. I was trying to
convey the feeling of freedom.
911
00:37:23,477 --> 00:37:25,412
Oh, yeah.
912
00:37:25,445 --> 00:37:27,915
Yes, sounds like somebody surfs.
913
00:37:27,949 --> 00:37:29,316
Not as much as
I'd like to.
914
00:37:29,517 --> 00:37:30,818
Heard that, my man.
Yeah, when I'm out there, man-
915
00:37:30,852 --> 00:37:33,921
Shh, you talk too much.
916
00:37:33,955 --> 00:37:35,556
Stop talking.
917
00:37:35,590 --> 00:37:37,324
I didn't really say anything.
918
00:37:37,357 --> 00:37:38,993
Oh, Tim.
919
00:37:39,026 --> 00:37:41,796
You have to show Jaclyn
all of your art.
920
00:37:41,829 --> 00:37:43,664
We have so many of his pieces.
921
00:37:43,698 --> 00:37:44,732
We have a lot.
922
00:37:44,766 --> 00:37:46,534
They're basically my Borgias.
923
00:37:46,567 --> 00:37:48,368
You're so funny.
924
00:37:48,401 --> 00:37:49,837
He's so funny.
925
00:37:49,871 --> 00:37:51,773
And good looking, huh?
926
00:37:51,806 --> 00:37:53,541
Sure, yeah, hmm-mm.
927
00:37:53,574 --> 00:37:56,878
Yeah, why don't you go
on the gallery walk upstairs?
928
00:37:56,911 --> 00:37:58,378
No, I thought nobody
was allowed upstairs.
929
00:37:58,411 --> 00:38:00,313
No, special people
are allowed upstairs.
930
00:38:00,347 --> 00:38:01,481
Oh.
931
00:38:01,516 --> 00:38:02,984
Go, go, go, go.
932
00:38:03,017 --> 00:38:05,553
Got it, yeah.
I'll show you upstairs.
933
00:38:05,586 --> 00:38:06,721
Okay.
934
00:38:08,421 --> 00:38:09,891
Okay, what?
I don't-
935
00:38:09,924 --> 00:38:11,692
You what?
936
00:38:11,726 --> 00:38:12,860
What?
937
00:38:12,894 --> 00:38:15,830
I do. You don't. I do.
938
00:38:17,064 --> 00:38:18,699
Do you wanna go
have a glass of water?
939
00:38:18,733 --> 00:38:20,433
There's a dog.
940
00:38:20,467 --> 00:38:21,636
Another dog.
941
00:38:23,504 --> 00:38:25,006
Dog.
942
00:38:25,039 --> 00:38:28,943
Dog. Baby, baby, baby, baby.
There's a good one this way.
943
00:38:35,850 --> 00:38:38,019
And a life study.
944
00:38:39,153 --> 00:38:40,353
That's Molly.
945
00:38:41,488 --> 00:38:43,090
I'm not at liberty to say.
946
00:38:47,628 --> 00:38:51,566
Ah, well, I- it's lovely.
947
00:38:51,599 --> 00:38:54,969
You know, the use of your
brush strokes
948
00:38:55,002 --> 00:38:57,038
and colors.
949
00:38:57,071 --> 00:38:59,439
Please, please, please stop.
950
00:38:59,472 --> 00:39:02,375
Can we please not
talk about my work?
951
00:39:02,409 --> 00:39:06,346
Okay. Let's, huh..
let's talk about you.
952
00:39:07,882 --> 00:39:10,483
That sounds even worse.
How about we talk about you?
953
00:39:12,086 --> 00:39:14,555
How about-
how about we don't talk?
954
00:39:16,157 --> 00:39:17,457
Okay.
955
00:39:19,627 --> 00:39:20,895
Yes.
956
00:39:20,928 --> 00:39:22,730
Yeah. I love this.
957
00:39:22,763 --> 00:39:24,599
I love this. Stop, stop.
958
00:39:24,632 --> 00:39:27,702
I love this.
I love all of your features.
959
00:39:27,735 --> 00:39:29,570
All of it.
And when you speak,
960
00:39:29,604 --> 00:39:31,606
you speak with
so much expression.
961
00:39:31,639 --> 00:39:33,975
This here. This.
962
00:39:34,008 --> 00:39:35,576
I wanna paint you.
963
00:39:35,610 --> 00:39:36,744
Okay.
964
00:39:38,913 --> 00:39:40,181
Okay.
965
00:39:40,214 --> 00:39:41,749
Oh, yeah.
966
00:39:41,782 --> 00:39:44,785
It's so refreshing to be
with an older woman.
967
00:39:44,819 --> 00:39:47,722
Just past all this
baby bullshit.
968
00:39:47,755 --> 00:39:48,856
You know?
969
00:39:48,890 --> 00:39:50,925
And all these
fucking gold diggers.
970
00:39:50,958 --> 00:39:52,927
I only wanna be
with older women
971
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,529
who are post menopausal.
972
00:39:55,563 --> 00:39:56,931
How old do you think I am?
973
00:39:59,499 --> 00:40:00,433
I wasn't talking about you.
974
00:40:01,501 --> 00:40:02,904
Oh, oh.
975
00:40:07,842 --> 00:40:10,645
Yes, you have a bush.
976
00:40:11,913 --> 00:40:13,648
You have actual pubic hair.
977
00:40:13,681 --> 00:40:15,883
You have actual pubic hair.
978
00:40:17,818 --> 00:40:20,621
I've been working
with these life study models.
979
00:40:20,655 --> 00:40:21,889
And they're all
completely shaved.
980
00:40:21,923 --> 00:40:23,024
They look like barbie dolls.
981
00:40:23,291 --> 00:40:25,059
It's perverse. You know,
they look like little girls.
982
00:40:25,092 --> 00:40:26,961
Who wants to make love
with little girls?
983
00:40:26,994 --> 00:40:28,162
Hopefully nobody.
984
00:40:28,195 --> 00:40:29,931
-Exactly.
-Yeah.
985
00:40:29,964 --> 00:40:31,933
All these women
mutilating their bodies
986
00:40:31,966 --> 00:40:33,834
to live up to
some imagined standard
987
00:40:33,868 --> 00:40:35,670
the patriarchy has set for them.
988
00:40:37,071 --> 00:40:39,740
Why do women have to be
perfect little C-cups
989
00:40:39,774 --> 00:40:41,142
and be completely shaved,
you know?
990
00:40:41,175 --> 00:40:42,643
They don't, they don't know?
991
00:40:42,677 --> 00:40:44,211
Let it grow.
Let it go wild.
992
00:40:44,245 --> 00:40:48,149
Let it go untamed. Get in my
mouth, wild long pussy hair.
993
00:40:48,182 --> 00:40:49,617
Or maybe just- I mean
994
00:40:49,650 --> 00:40:51,986
I think I prefer
just a little trimmed.
995
00:40:52,019 --> 00:40:54,789
No, you're wrong.
Let it go.
996
00:40:54,822 --> 00:40:56,657
Live in your skin.
997
00:40:56,691 --> 00:41:00,628
All the years that you've
lived, all of that hair,
998
00:41:00,661 --> 00:41:02,964
all of your blemishes,
999
00:41:02,997 --> 00:41:06,067
all of these sunspots,
these liver spots
1000
00:41:06,100 --> 00:41:08,736
all of them.
All of these age spots.
1001
00:41:08,769 --> 00:41:10,171
All of these herpes scars here.
1002
00:41:10,204 --> 00:41:11,772
All of these wrinkles.
1003
00:41:11,806 --> 00:41:14,208
Wrinkle, wrinkle, wrinkle.
Wrinkle, wrinkle, wrinkle.
1004
00:41:14,241 --> 00:41:17,812
It's your imperfections
that make you perfect.
1005
00:41:19,947 --> 00:41:21,682
Nope, can't do it.
1006
00:41:22,984 --> 00:41:25,019
What do you want me to say here?
1007
00:41:25,052 --> 00:41:27,121
Honestly, nothing.
1008
00:41:27,154 --> 00:41:30,024
Because everything
that comes out of your mouth
1009
00:41:30,057 --> 00:41:32,793
is just drying me up.
1010
00:41:32,827 --> 00:41:34,061
I'm trying to
compliment you here.
1011
00:41:35,563 --> 00:41:37,198
And that's what you landed on?
1012
00:41:37,231 --> 00:41:39,133
I'm not trying to be a dick.
1013
00:41:39,166 --> 00:41:41,769
Oh, well then,
it must just come naturally.
1014
00:41:43,237 --> 00:41:44,905
Hey, hey.
1015
00:41:46,207 --> 00:41:48,275
I'm just trying
to do you a solid.
1016
00:41:48,309 --> 00:41:49,844
A what?
1017
00:41:49,877 --> 00:41:52,146
Molly told me that you
needed to fuck the pain away
1018
00:41:52,179 --> 00:41:53,247
and so do I.
1019
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:56,217
We're the same.
You said it.
1020
00:41:56,250 --> 00:41:59,587
I think the best idea is
for us to let our bodies
1021
00:41:59,620 --> 00:42:00,654
do the talking.
1022
00:42:01,856 --> 00:42:03,958
-Ouch!
-I think the best idea
1023
00:42:03,991 --> 00:42:05,926
is for you to never ever touch
me again.
1024
00:42:11,932 --> 00:42:13,701
My painting hand.
1025
00:42:13,734 --> 00:42:16,270
There she is, there she is.
1026
00:42:16,303 --> 00:42:17,938
Hello, how was it?
1027
00:42:17,972 --> 00:42:19,874
I want the dets.
I want the dirty, dirty dets.
1028
00:42:19,907 --> 00:42:21,042
That was fast.
1029
00:42:21,075 --> 00:42:22,843
That didn't happen.
1030
00:42:22,877 --> 00:42:25,780
No. Why didn't you do Tim?
1031
00:42:25,813 --> 00:42:28,582
Maybe I would've if he didn't
treat me like a pity fuck.
1032
00:42:28,616 --> 00:42:30,017
You're supposed to find me
nice guys.
1033
00:42:30,051 --> 00:42:31,619
So, I can have nice babies.
1034
00:42:31,652 --> 00:42:33,921
Well, you meant also
cute and artistic
1035
00:42:33,954 --> 00:42:35,723
and funny and smart.
1036
00:42:36,991 --> 00:42:38,793
I got four out of five
ain't bad.
1037
00:42:38,826 --> 00:42:40,861
And look, you're gonna
love my guy.
1038
00:42:40,895 --> 00:42:43,864
I don't know.
I think I'm good, you guys.
1039
00:42:43,898 --> 00:42:45,232
No, you're not good.
1040
00:42:45,266 --> 00:42:47,234
I know you don't want
to roll the dice with MJ.
1041
00:42:47,268 --> 00:42:48,335
It's just one person.
1042
00:42:48,369 --> 00:42:49,804
And it's MJ.
1043
00:42:51,238 --> 00:42:54,842
Okay, fine.
But he has got to go.
1044
00:42:54,875 --> 00:42:57,111
No, I can't kick out Tim.
1045
00:42:57,144 --> 00:42:59,080
Yes you can.
It's your house.
1046
00:42:59,113 --> 00:43:01,215
But do I have to?
1047
00:43:01,248 --> 00:43:04,385
Yes, you do.
Sisters before misters.
1048
00:43:04,418 --> 00:43:07,254
That's easy for you to say.
You don't have a mister.
1049
00:43:07,288 --> 00:43:08,622
-She's right.
-Thank you.
1050
00:43:08,823 --> 00:43:11,325
Sisters before misters.
That's what we always say.
1051
00:43:11,358 --> 00:43:14,061
-We do.
-Oh, but poor Tim. Oh.
1052
00:43:14,095 --> 00:43:16,797
- Poor Tim?
- Poor tiny Tim.
1053
00:43:16,831 --> 00:43:19,400
Wait, is he tiny?
Or is he big?
1054
00:43:19,433 --> 00:43:21,001
Or is he little?
I don't wanna know.
1055
00:43:21,035 --> 00:43:22,803
Because I don't want anybody-
I do wanna know.
1056
00:43:22,837 --> 00:43:24,672
But I don't wanna know.
But I do wanna-
1057
00:43:24,705 --> 00:43:28,242
It's like killing me.
It's tearing me apart.
1058
00:43:28,275 --> 00:43:31,145
Stress is the future, right?
Choking the present.
1059
00:43:32,379 --> 00:43:34,882
- Okay.
- What you guys all need
1060
00:43:34,915 --> 00:43:36,217
is more time on the ocean.
1061
00:43:36,250 --> 00:43:37,885
- Ah, yes.
- You know.
1062
00:43:37,918 --> 00:43:40,721
Wow, wow, wow. Thank you.
1063
00:43:44,058 --> 00:43:47,161
So, I heard it didn't go well.
1064
00:43:47,194 --> 00:43:50,865
So, you should probably leave
so it's not weird.
1065
00:43:50,898 --> 00:43:53,801
Because I don't want it
to be weird for Geoff.
1066
00:43:53,834 --> 00:43:54,935
I should leave?
No, no, no.
1067
00:43:54,969 --> 00:43:56,871
I'm friends with both of you.
1068
00:43:56,904 --> 00:43:58,372
She's the one who should leave.
She should leave.
1069
00:43:58,405 --> 00:44:01,008
That's not gonna happen, Tim.
1070
00:44:01,041 --> 00:44:02,977
But it's okay.
But it's okay that you go.
1071
00:44:03,010 --> 00:44:05,246
Because you know well,
we love you.
1072
00:44:05,279 --> 00:44:07,948
And you know what? It's always
okay. You should go.
1073
00:44:07,982 --> 00:44:10,151
No, no, no. Maybe- maybe
I don't wanna-
1074
00:44:10,184 --> 00:44:11,886
Maybe I don't wanna go.
1075
00:44:11,919 --> 00:44:13,854
What is that?
1076
00:44:13,888 --> 00:44:17,424
That was so much fun.
Oh my gosh, do it again.
1077
00:44:17,458 --> 00:44:19,293
No, no.
Okay, just one little spin.
1078
00:44:19,326 --> 00:44:21,395
-See that's nice.
-Just hold on a second. Jacklyn?
1079
00:44:21,428 --> 00:44:23,130
-No.
-On land, you guys are CEOs.
1080
00:44:23,164 --> 00:44:25,232
-Idiot.
-But out there in the ocean,
1081
00:44:25,266 --> 00:44:27,334
-I'm chairman of my board.
-Oh nice.
1082
00:44:27,368 --> 00:44:30,371
What an ass hat. Not you.
1083
00:44:30,404 --> 00:44:32,806
Yeah, no shit.
1084
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,475
Hey, what about you?
1085
00:44:34,509 --> 00:44:35,976
You got anything
on your horizons
1086
00:44:36,010 --> 00:44:37,378
I should have my radar on?
1087
00:44:39,113 --> 00:44:41,182
-Geoff?
-Huh? Oh, no.
1088
00:44:41,215 --> 00:44:42,449
No, nothing special.
1089
00:44:42,483 --> 00:44:44,852
You know, it's a bunch of
stupid pitches.
1090
00:44:44,885 --> 00:44:47,755
It's like Uber for kitty cats.
1091
00:44:47,788 --> 00:44:51,225
It's like Door dash from my
ass. I don't know.
1092
00:44:57,364 --> 00:44:59,366
Oh, I'm sorry.
1093
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,135
No, no, no, no. Please, please,
please, please.
1094
00:45:01,168 --> 00:45:03,103
Please don't go,
please don't go.
1095
00:45:03,137 --> 00:45:06,807
Just buying myself another
hour of smiling stupidly.
1096
00:45:08,108 --> 00:45:09,243
You want a hit?
1097
00:45:09,276 --> 00:45:12,112
No, I'm good. Thanks.
1098
00:45:12,146 --> 00:45:15,249
You hook up with the asshole?
I mean, artist?
1099
00:45:15,282 --> 00:45:17,117
No, I didn't.
1100
00:45:17,151 --> 00:45:18,385
I'm not judging.
1101
00:45:18,419 --> 00:45:20,254
No, seriously, I didn't.
1102
00:45:20,287 --> 00:45:22,223
What about the guy
with the glasses?
1103
00:45:22,256 --> 00:45:23,857
Was it that obvious?
1104
00:45:24,892 --> 00:45:26,927
I didn't see anything.
1105
00:45:26,961 --> 00:45:30,231
You're um-
you're with the surfer guy.
1106
00:45:30,264 --> 00:45:33,500
Yeap.
But I'm pretty much here alone.
1107
00:45:34,969 --> 00:45:36,136
The second we
get around his friends
1108
00:45:36,170 --> 00:45:38,005
it's like I don't even exist.
1109
00:45:38,038 --> 00:45:40,207
I thought an older guy'd
be past all that bullshit.
1110
00:45:40,241 --> 00:45:42,544
That's when they
summit Mt. Bullshit.
1111
00:45:42,577 --> 00:45:44,178
- I know.
- Yeah.
1112
00:45:44,211 --> 00:45:45,346
- Right?
- Yeah.
1113
00:45:45,379 --> 00:45:47,848
But it's so different for us.
1114
00:45:47,881 --> 00:45:49,517
Like, I wanna have kids.
1115
00:45:50,918 --> 00:45:52,453
It's not like we're in our 20s.
1116
00:45:52,486 --> 00:45:55,289
I mean I'm probably
a skosh older than you.
1117
00:45:56,924 --> 00:46:00,227
This is gonna sound crazy,
but I work with horses
1118
00:46:00,261 --> 00:46:02,930
and we start breeding our
marriage when they're 5
1119
00:46:02,963 --> 00:46:05,299
and put them out to
pasture when they're 15.
1120
00:46:05,332 --> 00:46:07,434
Which is what in human years?
1121
00:46:07,468 --> 00:46:09,370
- 35.
- 35.
1122
00:46:09,403 --> 00:46:11,205
- I'm 31.
- Yeah.
1123
00:46:11,238 --> 00:46:12,306
I mean if he's not serious
1124
00:46:12,540 --> 00:46:15,209
am I gonna have to
get started on another guy?
1125
00:46:15,242 --> 00:46:16,343
God.
1126
00:46:17,945 --> 00:46:19,547
You know what?
1127
00:46:19,581 --> 00:46:22,283
Fuck it. Fuck it.
1128
00:46:23,450 --> 00:46:25,352
We wait for everything
in our lives.
1129
00:46:25,386 --> 00:46:27,488
We have to wait for them
to ask us to prom.
1130
00:46:27,522 --> 00:46:30,057
We wait for them
to ask us to marry them.
1131
00:46:30,090 --> 00:46:32,192
We have to wait until
they're ready to have kids.
1132
00:46:32,226 --> 00:46:34,328
Well, I am done waiting.
1133
00:46:34,361 --> 00:46:37,831
I am done waiting for
permission
to live my fucking life.
1134
00:46:37,865 --> 00:46:39,166
Yeah.
1135
00:46:39,199 --> 00:46:40,535
You know what?
1136
00:46:40,568 --> 00:46:41,569
-Fuck him.
-Yeah.
1137
00:46:41,802 --> 00:46:43,404
Fuck this party,
I'm out of here.
1138
00:46:44,872 --> 00:46:45,507
- Hi. Is this thing on?
- Hi, hello.
1139
00:46:45,540 --> 00:46:48,075
- Hello.
- Oh, hi.
1140
00:46:48,108 --> 00:46:51,478
-Is it your birthday?
1141
00:46:51,513 --> 00:46:52,580
Yeah.
1142
00:46:52,614 --> 00:46:55,550
Ah, happy birthday.
1143
00:46:55,583 --> 00:46:58,986
Okay. One of you bozos
got me a stripper?
1144
00:46:59,019 --> 00:47:01,121
Come on Geoff,
you know I'm not that fool.
1145
00:47:01,155 --> 00:47:03,357
Holy shit,
that is a shirtless chef.
1146
00:47:03,390 --> 00:47:05,059
Wait-wait, who that?
1147
00:47:05,092 --> 00:47:06,293
Who is that?
1148
00:47:06,327 --> 00:47:08,162
He does online cooking videos.
1149
00:47:08,195 --> 00:47:10,130
shirtless.
1150
00:47:10,164 --> 00:47:11,932
As in zero shirt.
1151
00:47:11,965 --> 00:47:13,300
I'ma subscribe.
1152
00:47:13,334 --> 00:47:14,401
Yeah.
1153
00:47:14,435 --> 00:47:15,402
You're welcome.
1154
00:47:17,004 --> 00:47:19,239
You wouldn't happen
to be Jaclyn?
1155
00:47:19,273 --> 00:47:20,374
Would you?
1156
00:47:20,407 --> 00:47:21,543
I would.
1157
00:47:21,576 --> 00:47:23,911
Ah, pleasure to meet you.
1158
00:47:25,312 --> 00:47:28,449
Oh, pleasure is all mine.
1159
00:47:28,482 --> 00:47:31,418
Amandine has told me so many
fascinating
1160
00:47:31,452 --> 00:47:32,587
tidbits about you.
1161
00:47:33,921 --> 00:47:35,456
Uh-huh.
1162
00:47:35,489 --> 00:47:38,058
It's a little hot in here.
1163
00:47:38,092 --> 00:47:39,527
I don't know why
I'm wearing this anymore.
1164
00:47:39,561 --> 00:47:40,994
Ah, oh look, raddish.
1165
00:47:43,230 --> 00:47:44,998
Hey, can I steal-
1166
00:47:45,032 --> 00:47:46,166
Okay.
1167
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:49,403
Can I steal Jaclyn for a second?
1168
00:47:49,436 --> 00:47:50,904
-Maybe later.
-No.
1169
00:47:50,938 --> 00:47:52,306
It will just take a minute.
1170
00:47:52,339 --> 00:47:54,475
I don't- Geoff, I-
1171
00:47:56,143 --> 00:47:57,945
I'll be-
1172
00:47:57,978 --> 00:47:59,480
I heard you quit working
for Jen Anishton.
1173
00:48:01,415 --> 00:48:05,419
Yeah. I mean it's not totally
confirmed yet, but yeah.
1174
00:48:05,452 --> 00:48:07,421
Okay, well, do you have
anything lined up?
1175
00:48:08,989 --> 00:48:11,258
Not yet.
Just kind of going around
1176
00:48:11,291 --> 00:48:13,227
trying to figure out
where I want to land.
1177
00:48:13,260 --> 00:48:15,329
Uh-huh. Well, that's perfect.
1178
00:48:15,362 --> 00:48:18,232
Because I have a friend
who just started a non-profit
1179
00:48:18,265 --> 00:48:20,568
that supports educational
programs for girls
1180
00:48:20,602 --> 00:48:21,935
in third world countries.
1181
00:48:21,969 --> 00:48:23,036
I know.
1182
00:48:23,070 --> 00:48:24,238
That's great. Well, listen.
1183
00:48:24,271 --> 00:48:26,140
Why don't you give them
my contact, and I-
1184
00:48:26,173 --> 00:48:27,474
Okay, Meera.
1185
00:48:27,509 --> 00:48:30,210
Yeah. Hey, I want you
to meet somebody.
1186
00:48:30,244 --> 00:48:32,179
This is.. this is Jaclyn
McGinley.
1187
00:48:32,212 --> 00:48:34,549
-Hi.
-She just left her position
1188
00:48:34,582 --> 00:48:37,418
as the Director of
Jen Aniston's foundation.
1189
00:48:39,086 --> 00:48:40,320
What?
1190
00:48:40,354 --> 00:48:41,922
Now, you guys talk.
1191
00:48:43,090 --> 00:48:44,958
-Jen Anishton?
-Yeah.
1192
00:48:44,992 --> 00:48:46,728
You know, I'm a huge fan.
1193
00:48:46,761 --> 00:48:49,129
I was just at her benefit
at the Getty last month.
1194
00:48:49,163 --> 00:48:50,431
Well did you-
Did you do that?
1195
00:48:50,464 --> 00:48:51,965
-I did, yeah.
-You did.
1196
00:48:51,999 --> 00:48:53,735
Oh my goodness. This is fate.
1197
00:48:53,768 --> 00:48:54,968
Yes. Yes it is.
1198
00:48:55,002 --> 00:48:56,571
Because, let me tell you.
1199
00:48:56,604 --> 00:48:59,239
I was at the grocery
store yesterday,
1200
00:48:59,273 --> 00:49:00,441
and I was checking out
the tabloids.
1201
00:49:00,474 --> 00:49:02,476
I don't usually check out
the tabloids.
1202
00:49:02,510 --> 00:49:04,311
But I just happen to see Jen.
1203
00:49:04,344 --> 00:49:06,548
And they were talking about
how she's childless.
1204
00:49:06,581 --> 00:49:09,149
And I went home to Kahlil
and I told him,
1205
00:49:09,183 --> 00:49:10,984
"Why doesn't she just adopt?"
1206
00:49:11,018 --> 00:49:14,221
You know? And then I meet you
here tonight.
1207
00:49:14,254 --> 00:49:15,523
So why doesn't she adopt?
1208
00:49:16,758 --> 00:49:18,392
Oh, I don't-
1209
00:49:18,425 --> 00:49:19,761
We don't really talk about that.
1210
00:49:19,794 --> 00:49:21,395
Well, would you?
1211
00:49:21,428 --> 00:49:24,599
Would you? Because adoption is
just such a blessling.
1212
00:49:24,632 --> 00:49:27,367
Yeah. I mean, we adopted
four of our six.
1213
00:49:27,401 --> 00:49:29,036
One from Mozambique,
one from Peru,
1214
00:49:29,069 --> 00:49:30,772
one from Russia
and one from China.
1215
00:49:30,805 --> 00:49:33,173
All you need is Australian,
and you got a continental set.
1216
00:49:33,207 --> 00:49:35,075
Oh my god, you're funny.
1217
00:49:35,108 --> 00:49:36,109
Isn't she?
1218
00:49:37,277 --> 00:49:39,480
She is very funny.
1219
00:49:39,514 --> 00:49:41,716
Girl, you hungry? We got some
more cheese that came out.
1220
00:49:41,749 --> 00:49:44,686
Oh, you know,
I'm lactose intolerant, so.
1221
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:48,121
-I bet you are.
-Yeah. So-
1222
00:49:48,155 --> 00:49:50,491
But I was saying is that,
1223
00:49:50,525 --> 00:49:51,793
you know, motherhood
is just a blessing.
1224
00:49:51,826 --> 00:49:53,293
No matter how you do it.
1225
00:49:54,529 --> 00:49:57,064
- Can I ask you something?
- Yeah.
1226
00:49:57,097 --> 00:49:59,534
Do you feel any difference
in the bond
1227
00:49:59,567 --> 00:50:02,770
between your adopted children
and the biological children?
1228
00:50:02,804 --> 00:50:04,471
Not the first time
someone's asked me that.
1229
00:50:05,707 --> 00:50:07,274
Let me be just
completely honest.
1230
00:50:07,307 --> 00:50:10,277
With my first two,
I thought that, you know,
1231
00:50:10,310 --> 00:50:13,213
I don't know if I could love
another the way I did them,
1232
00:50:13,247 --> 00:50:17,117
but when I saw Donya's face,
I just-
1233
00:50:17,150 --> 00:50:19,754
I knew she was my child.
I don't know.
1234
00:50:19,787 --> 00:50:22,690
Love is not really
a zero-sum game, you know?
1235
00:50:22,724 --> 00:50:25,192
Wow, that is
1236
00:50:25,225 --> 00:50:26,694
so sweet I wanna kill myself.
1237
00:50:27,862 --> 00:50:29,429
- Oh my god.
- Butter fingers.
1238
00:50:29,463 --> 00:50:32,600
Hurry now. Ah, ah. This way.
1239
00:50:33,801 --> 00:50:35,035
Let's go faster.
1240
00:50:36,270 --> 00:50:38,038
Must go faster.
1241
00:50:44,211 --> 00:50:47,414
Sorry, I thought the situation
called for bit of a
1242
00:50:47,447 --> 00:50:48,683
diversion.
1243
00:50:48,716 --> 00:50:50,117
Yeah, thank you.
1244
00:50:50,150 --> 00:50:51,418
Of course.
1245
00:50:51,451 --> 00:50:54,454
So, you work in
the not-for-profit space.
1246
00:50:54,488 --> 00:50:55,723
I admire that.
1247
00:50:57,190 --> 00:50:59,459
Very satisfying.
1248
00:51:00,628 --> 00:51:02,195
Are you doing that
on purpose?
1249
00:51:02,229 --> 00:51:05,499
I'm sorry, I'm not exactly sure
what you mean.
1250
00:51:05,533 --> 00:51:08,235
The talking like
Jeff Goldblum thing.
1251
00:51:10,838 --> 00:51:14,474
Well, I certainly hope
I can measure up.
1252
00:51:14,509 --> 00:51:16,811
Oh, I think you're even better
1253
00:51:16,844 --> 00:51:18,780
than the real thing, truly.
1254
00:51:20,347 --> 00:51:21,583
So, you're an actor?
1255
00:51:23,183 --> 00:51:24,284
Do you have anything
against actors?
1256
00:51:24,318 --> 00:51:25,887
No, no, no. No.
1257
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:28,556
I think that's great.
You know?
1258
00:51:28,590 --> 00:51:31,759
You're sensitive and artistic.
1259
00:51:33,595 --> 00:51:34,762
Is that why
1260
00:51:34,796 --> 00:51:38,465
you're so muscly?
1261
00:51:38,498 --> 00:51:41,401
Oh, this is my instrument.
1262
00:51:41,435 --> 00:51:44,639
It is Stradivarius.
1263
00:51:48,810 --> 00:51:50,410
-A Stradivarius is-
-I know.
1264
00:51:50,444 --> 00:51:51,613
-Oh.
-The kind of guitar
1265
00:51:51,646 --> 00:51:52,780
Jimi Hendrix played.
1266
00:51:56,383 --> 00:51:58,686
So, what have I seen you in?
1267
00:51:58,720 --> 00:52:01,789
Well, I got cast
in an episode of Flash.
1268
00:52:01,823 --> 00:52:03,925
But I wore mask so you
can't really tell it was me.
1269
00:52:03,958 --> 00:52:05,760
I bet you were great.
1270
00:52:05,793 --> 00:52:07,494
The fight choreographer
thought so. Yeah.
1271
00:52:08,930 --> 00:52:11,566
I mean, it's not easy
being a Latino actor.
1272
00:52:11,599 --> 00:52:12,600
The Goldblum thing helps out.
1273
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,502
I get to go out for
hot nerdy types now.
1274
00:52:15,536 --> 00:52:16,938
I like hot nerdy types.
1275
00:52:16,971 --> 00:52:19,272
Yeah, it's better than
type-cast
as a gang banger.
1276
00:52:19,306 --> 00:52:20,908
I go like "What's up?"
1277
00:52:20,942 --> 00:52:22,510
You know what would
be a dream role?
1278
00:52:22,543 --> 00:52:23,945
Playing Goldblum's kid.
1279
00:52:23,978 --> 00:52:27,214
Like, in a Jurassic sequel
or West Anderson movie.
1280
00:52:27,247 --> 00:52:29,851
Like, the son he never knew.
1281
00:52:29,884 --> 00:52:31,284
And I can play against type.
1282
00:52:31,318 --> 00:52:32,820
I can play someone stupid, like-
1283
00:52:32,854 --> 00:52:34,354
I want you to fuck me, stupid?
1284
00:52:34,388 --> 00:52:36,824
Oh, wait.
1285
00:52:36,858 --> 00:52:38,926
You mean like, you want me
to fuck you COMMA stupid,
1286
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:39,894
like, you think I'm dumb?
1287
00:52:41,696 --> 00:52:43,430
I want you to
fuck my brains out.
1288
00:52:43,463 --> 00:52:45,332
Oh, I see.
1289
00:52:56,443 --> 00:52:57,578
You are hot, oh my god.
1290
00:52:57,612 --> 00:52:58,846
You're hot.
1291
00:53:01,015 --> 00:53:04,719
Which brings me to WFTs.
Right?
1292
00:53:04,752 --> 00:53:06,654
-Weed fungible tokens.
-Oh.
1293
00:53:06,688 --> 00:53:09,356
Kind of like an NFT
that you can smoke, okay?
1294
00:53:09,389 --> 00:53:11,291
But it's also on the blockchain.
1295
00:53:11,324 --> 00:53:14,729
Every ounce of weed you buy
or every preroll you buy-
1296
00:53:14,762 --> 00:53:16,296
-Okay.
-Oh.
1297
00:53:16,329 --> 00:53:17,799
This guy's out of here, now.
It's cool, it's cool.
1298
00:53:17,832 --> 00:53:18,866
You know, some people aren't
into weed.
1299
00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:20,400
-It's totally cool.
-Yeah.
1300
00:53:20,434 --> 00:53:21,769
So, it is a weed product.
1301
00:53:21,803 --> 00:53:24,005
You get it from the-it's data?
1302
00:53:24,038 --> 00:53:25,740
You do order it on data.
1303
00:53:27,340 --> 00:53:28,009
I'm sorry, I'll be right back.
I'll be right back.
1304
00:53:28,042 --> 00:53:29,476
Absolutely cool.
1305
00:53:30,912 --> 00:53:34,347
Hey dodo bird, what the heck
are you doing here?
1306
00:53:34,381 --> 00:53:35,750
I forgot Nermie.
1307
00:53:35,783 --> 00:53:38,853
Oh, rats!
1308
00:53:38,886 --> 00:53:40,788
Well, where's nana?
1309
00:53:40,822 --> 00:53:42,623
She's in the car waiting.
1310
00:53:42,657 --> 00:53:44,726
Oh, is she? Oh, yeah.
1311
00:53:44,759 --> 00:53:45,626
There she is.
1312
00:53:46,694 --> 00:53:47,762
Hey,
1313
00:53:47,795 --> 00:53:50,230
you know
it's my birthday, right?
1314
00:53:51,431 --> 00:53:53,000
And I get whatever
I want on my birthday,
1315
00:53:53,034 --> 00:53:54,301
that's the rule.
1316
00:53:54,334 --> 00:53:56,738
So, what I want
1317
00:53:56,771 --> 00:53:59,841
is for you to get in there
1318
00:53:59,874 --> 00:54:02,810
and eat all of your
left-over Easter candy,
1319
00:54:02,844 --> 00:54:05,412
every single thing.
1320
00:54:05,445 --> 00:54:06,981
Get in there!
Gobble it up.
1321
00:54:10,017 --> 00:54:13,386
You can have a goodnight.
You bitch.
1322
00:54:15,089 --> 00:54:17,024
Hey, Sophie. Hey, girl,
what are you doing?
1323
00:54:17,058 --> 00:54:19,794
Hi, string bean. Hi.
1324
00:54:19,827 --> 00:54:21,929
You're supposed to be
at your grandma's house.
1325
00:54:21,963 --> 00:54:23,598
I forgot Nermie.
1326
00:54:23,631 --> 00:54:25,600
- Okay.
- Alright, go on up and get it.
1327
00:54:25,633 --> 00:54:27,034
Or maybe not,
1328
00:54:27,068 --> 00:54:29,771
because when I will be awake
passing my bedtime,
1329
00:54:29,804 --> 00:54:33,641
I will turn into a zombie,
tripping over things.
1330
00:54:33,674 --> 00:54:35,710
So maybe your mommy
should go up.
1331
00:54:35,743 --> 00:54:37,545
No, she can go get it.
1332
00:54:37,578 --> 00:54:39,914
No, she can't. Um-umm.
1333
00:54:42,349 --> 00:54:44,986
Oh. Okay, alright.
1334
00:54:45,019 --> 00:54:46,587
Mommy will be right back.
1335
00:54:46,621 --> 00:54:48,022
I love you so much. Okay.
1336
00:54:51,058 --> 00:54:52,325
How's your night?
1337
00:54:52,359 --> 00:54:53,928
- Good.
- Yeah.
1338
00:55:04,739 --> 00:55:06,607
Ow.
1339
00:55:12,780 --> 00:55:14,982
Oh my god, what are you doing?
1340
00:55:15,016 --> 00:55:16,349
I'm not even here.
1341
00:55:19,153 --> 00:55:21,522
Oh, oh.
1342
00:55:21,556 --> 00:55:22,857
I'm sorry,
but it sounded like
1343
00:55:22,890 --> 00:55:24,826
you had a really good moment.
1344
00:55:24,859 --> 00:55:26,994
Oh my god, Molly,
get out.
1345
00:55:27,028 --> 00:55:28,328
Come on.
1346
00:55:28,563 --> 00:55:30,698
I mean it's not like you
haven't heard me have sex
1347
00:55:30,731 --> 00:55:32,066
lots of times.
1348
00:55:32,099 --> 00:55:34,434
We were roommates in college
and I used to have sex
1349
00:55:34,467 --> 00:55:36,971
all the time in the bedroom.
1350
00:55:37,004 --> 00:55:38,072
But she was sleeping.
1351
00:55:38,105 --> 00:55:39,472
I wasn't sleeping.
1352
00:55:39,507 --> 00:55:41,108
Oh, see? So that's okay.
1353
00:55:41,142 --> 00:55:44,011
Okay, okay, I'm gone.
I'm not even here.
1354
00:55:44,045 --> 00:55:47,081
No, you guys, take your time.
I just needed this.
1355
00:55:47,114 --> 00:55:49,016
Right look,
I can't even see you.
1356
00:55:50,417 --> 00:55:53,521
Okay, strip the beds
when you're done.
1357
00:55:58,425 --> 00:56:00,493
Is that good for you?
1358
00:56:00,528 --> 00:56:01,729
Oh my god, yeah.
1359
00:56:01,762 --> 00:56:03,998
I mean, I think
the last 10 seconds,
1360
00:56:04,031 --> 00:56:07,568
that was the best sex
I've ever had.
1361
00:56:07,602 --> 00:56:08,569
Ever.
1362
00:56:08,603 --> 00:56:10,104
Thank you.
1363
00:56:10,137 --> 00:56:12,807
Look, I know I'm not
the real Goldblum,
1364
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:16,677
but I really hope I made
your wish come true.
1365
00:56:16,711 --> 00:56:18,646
You have no idea.
1366
00:56:22,116 --> 00:56:24,151
This is so unfair.
1367
00:56:24,185 --> 00:56:26,921
You're hell of smart,
you do charity work,
1368
00:56:26,954 --> 00:56:29,790
and you are smoking hot,
1369
00:56:29,824 --> 00:56:32,392
especially for someone
with stage 4 lymphoma.
1370
00:56:33,628 --> 00:56:36,697
-What?
-It's okay. Amandine told me.
1371
00:56:36,731 --> 00:56:39,634
And honestly, thank you.
1372
00:56:39,667 --> 00:56:42,103
As an actor,
I don't have a ton of money
1373
00:56:42,136 --> 00:56:44,839
and I can't give nearly
as much as I'd like to charity.
1374
00:56:44,872 --> 00:56:46,173
I always thought of Goldblum
thing
1375
00:56:46,207 --> 00:56:48,142
as a gimmick for parties.
1376
00:56:48,175 --> 00:56:51,746
But knowing that my skills
could bring you
1377
00:56:51,779 --> 00:56:53,981
joy in the end,
1378
00:56:54,015 --> 00:56:56,817
I just- I'm deeply honored.
1379
00:56:56,851 --> 00:56:57,952
Yeah.
1380
00:57:00,955 --> 00:57:04,792
I hate to sound pity with
everything you're going through
1381
00:57:04,825 --> 00:57:06,727
but you don't have any STDs,
do you?
1382
00:57:08,562 --> 00:57:10,598
-No.
-Oh.
1383
00:57:10,631 --> 00:57:12,199
Normally, I would use a condom.
1384
00:57:12,233 --> 00:57:14,501
but seeing as how you're Mormon
and only have a week to live,
1385
00:57:14,535 --> 00:57:15,970
I thought I could
take the risk.
1386
00:57:18,205 --> 00:57:20,207
Are you strong enough
to get up on your own?
1387
00:57:20,241 --> 00:57:21,842
You need help?
1388
00:57:21,876 --> 00:57:24,245
I got it, thank you. Yeah.
1389
00:57:24,278 --> 00:57:26,013
I'm just gonna take a minute.
1390
00:57:27,515 --> 00:57:28,950
You rest.
1391
00:57:28,983 --> 00:57:30,017
Okay.
1392
00:57:36,157 --> 00:57:37,992
Now I hate surfing.
1393
00:57:40,661 --> 00:57:41,829
Oh boy.
1394
00:57:45,733 --> 00:57:47,802
Hi, happy birthday.
1395
00:57:47,835 --> 00:57:49,502
-Welcome, thank you.
-Thank you.
1396
00:57:49,537 --> 00:57:50,604
Thank you for having me.
1397
00:57:50,638 --> 00:57:53,207
Oh, thank you.
1398
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:55,176
Is Armin-is Armin still here?
1399
00:57:55,209 --> 00:57:56,877
Is Armin here?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
1400
00:57:56,911 --> 00:57:58,913
And he's, you know,
had a couple.
1401
00:57:58,946 --> 00:58:00,748
Okay, should I go, or-?
1402
00:58:00,781 --> 00:58:02,817
No! No, no, no.
Of course, not.
1403
00:58:02,850 --> 00:58:04,685
No, god.
You drove all the way here.
1404
00:58:04,719 --> 00:58:06,187
I mean, please,
make yourself at home.
1405
00:58:06,220 --> 00:58:07,788
Have something to eat,
have a drink.
1406
00:58:07,822 --> 00:58:09,623
-It's so good to see you.
-Oh my goodness, you too.
1407
00:58:09,657 --> 00:58:11,792
-Happy birthday. We'll talk.
-Alright. Alright.
1408
00:58:13,561 --> 00:58:14,729
Dude, is that-
1409
00:58:14,762 --> 00:58:16,163
Hey, I'm so sorry.
1410
00:58:16,197 --> 00:58:17,565
Oh fuck, not her.
1411
00:58:17,598 --> 00:58:19,166
I know, I know.
1412
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:21,802
Molly mentioned it, I couldn't
uninvite her. Do you want me to
1413
00:58:21,836 --> 00:58:23,304
-ask her to go?
-No, no.
1414
00:58:23,337 --> 00:58:25,106
That makes me look
like I can't handle it.
1415
00:58:25,139 --> 00:58:26,874
And you know, that's how
the terrorists win.
1416
00:58:26,907 --> 00:58:27,908
So, no.
1417
00:58:29,276 --> 00:58:30,778
Can you believe how fat she got?
1418
00:58:30,811 --> 00:58:33,014
Yikes.
1419
00:58:33,047 --> 00:58:34,815
Oh buddy, that's not fat.
1420
00:58:36,884 --> 00:58:38,586
-She's fucking pregnant?
-Yeah, I'm so sorry.
1421
00:58:38,619 --> 00:58:39,854
I didn't know
how to tell you that.
1422
00:58:41,088 --> 00:58:42,656
No, it's fine, it's fine.
1423
00:58:42,690 --> 00:58:44,058
You know what?
I'm gonna go say hi to her.
1424
00:58:44,091 --> 00:58:45,126
No, don't say hi.
1425
00:58:46,794 --> 00:58:50,598
Why would you say hi?
Don't say hi.
1426
00:58:50,631 --> 00:58:51,866
Kegels are key.
1427
00:58:51,899 --> 00:58:53,267
-Oh, yeah.
-Just keep doing that.
1428
00:58:53,300 --> 00:58:57,238
Joyce, hey.
Fancy seeing you here.
1429
00:58:57,271 --> 00:58:58,906
Yeah, well,
they're my friends too.
1430
00:58:58,939 --> 00:59:01,675
Yeah, because of me.
1431
00:59:01,709 --> 00:59:04,578
Are we really gonna do this
at your best friend's party?
1432
00:59:04,612 --> 00:59:07,014
See, you said it.
My best friend. So.
1433
00:59:08,616 --> 00:59:09,884
Do you want me to leave?
1434
00:59:09,917 --> 00:59:12,686
Oh, now you care about
what I want. Hmm.
1435
00:59:14,021 --> 00:59:16,057
No, you know what? I'm sorry.
1436
00:59:16,090 --> 00:59:20,294
It's fine. We're grown ups.
And congratulations.
1437
00:59:20,327 --> 00:59:22,763
I am very happy for you
and you look beautiful.
1438
00:59:23,964 --> 00:59:25,066
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
1439
00:59:25,099 --> 00:59:26,667
I appreciate that.
1440
00:59:26,700 --> 00:59:28,169
I feel bloated and disgusting
but-
1441
00:59:28,202 --> 00:59:31,372
No, it suits you.
The, huh, pregnancy.
1442
00:59:31,405 --> 00:59:35,676
Not the-
How is Peter doing?
1443
00:59:35,709 --> 00:59:37,011
You don't really want
to know that, do you?
1444
00:59:37,044 --> 00:59:39,680
Not at all.
I just hope you're happy.
1445
00:59:39,713 --> 00:59:42,683
- I'm very happy.
- Good. Good, good, good.
1446
00:59:42,716 --> 00:59:43,784
Yeah.
1447
00:59:48,956 --> 00:59:50,057
Yeah.
1448
00:59:50,091 --> 00:59:51,092
Great to see you.
1449
00:59:52,226 --> 00:59:53,861
-Cool.
-Yeah.
1450
00:59:56,997 --> 00:59:58,365
Make a wish?
1451
00:59:58,399 --> 01:00:00,134
Is that what I am to you?
A charity case?
1452
01:00:00,167 --> 01:00:01,735
He was already
on my original list
1453
01:00:01,769 --> 01:00:03,137
because of the Goldblum thing.
1454
01:00:03,170 --> 01:00:05,639
But he just got cast in a play
1455
01:00:05,673 --> 01:00:06,941
and he was supposed
to perform tonight.
1456
01:00:06,974 --> 01:00:09,009
I had to think of
a life-or-death reason
1457
01:00:09,043 --> 01:00:11,412
to get him to skip it. So-
1458
01:00:11,445 --> 01:00:12,813
-Cancer?
-That was the only way
1459
01:00:12,847 --> 01:00:15,416
I could get him to agree to go
raw dog.
1460
01:00:15,449 --> 01:00:18,119
Dead girls don't need condoms.
1461
01:00:18,152 --> 01:00:19,653
But Mormon?
1462
01:00:19,687 --> 01:00:21,322
Oh, that, you know that kind of
just slipped out.
1463
01:00:22,790 --> 01:00:25,092
-Hey.
-Hi.
1464
01:00:25,126 --> 01:00:27,728
You see that pregnant woman
over there?
1465
01:00:27,761 --> 01:00:29,697
The one on the right.
That's my ex.
1466
01:00:29,730 --> 01:00:31,832
And I'm about to say
something or do something
1467
01:00:31,866 --> 01:00:33,834
that will get me
excommunicated or in prison.
1468
01:00:33,868 --> 01:00:37,037
So, you know, could you
distract me or something?
1469
01:00:39,106 --> 01:00:40,007
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
1470
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:41,942
-Yeah, sure.
-Okay.
1471
01:00:43,310 --> 01:00:44,845
Okay.
1472
01:00:47,014 --> 01:00:48,015
What's this from?
1473
01:00:48,048 --> 01:00:50,718
Oh. Knee replacement.
1474
01:00:50,751 --> 01:00:53,687
Warranty ran out
a couple of years ago. So-
1475
01:00:53,721 --> 01:00:56,290
Oh, I can give you a good
referral for your mom's hip.
1476
01:00:56,323 --> 01:00:59,059
My guy is like,
the best in the biz. So-
1477
01:00:59,093 --> 01:01:00,461
Oh yeah, great. Thank you.
1478
01:01:00,494 --> 01:01:01,996
Yeah.
1479
01:01:02,029 --> 01:01:04,431
I think scars are pretty sexy.
1480
01:01:04,465 --> 01:01:05,366
-Oh really?
-Yeah.
1481
01:01:05,399 --> 01:01:06,734
Well, I do have another one.
1482
01:01:06,934 --> 01:01:09,170
Yeah, right here where
Joyce ripped out my heart
1483
01:01:09,203 --> 01:01:10,371
with her bare hands.
Do you wanna see it?
1484
01:01:10,404 --> 01:01:12,072
- Wow, Joyce?
- Yeah.
1485
01:01:12,106 --> 01:01:14,408
Oh, well, you know,
1486
01:01:14,441 --> 01:01:16,010
it's a terrible name
for a villain.
1487
01:01:16,043 --> 01:01:18,012
-Yeah, it really is.
-Yeah.
1488
01:01:18,045 --> 01:01:21,815
It's even got joy in it.
How can I be mad at that?
1489
01:01:21,849 --> 01:01:23,851
I walked in on mine
getting a BJ.
1490
01:01:25,753 --> 01:01:28,422
Blowjobs are overrated.
1491
01:01:28,455 --> 01:01:30,291
You're just saying that to me
to feel better.
1492
01:01:30,324 --> 01:01:33,727
Yeah, I am.
100%, blowjobs are awesome.
1493
01:01:33,761 --> 01:01:36,096
You know, they had the nerve
to send me a Christmas card.
1494
01:01:36,130 --> 01:01:37,431
-What?
-Yeah.
1495
01:01:37,464 --> 01:01:39,333
So, I drew a dick on her face
and sent it back.
1496
01:01:40,901 --> 01:01:42,403
Nice.
1497
01:01:48,075 --> 01:01:49,511
See that in there?
1498
01:01:49,544 --> 01:01:51,378
Those are my friends.
1499
01:01:52,913 --> 01:01:55,783
And she had her friends.
I just don't get it,
1500
01:01:55,816 --> 01:01:58,786
why does she think
she needs mine? You know?
1501
01:01:58,819 --> 01:02:01,989
I know it's pathetic,
but like, fuck, come on!
1502
01:02:02,022 --> 01:02:04,024
No, no, I totally get it.
1503
01:02:04,058 --> 01:02:06,528
I ran into my ex with
his beautiful new wife
1504
01:02:06,561 --> 01:02:07,995
and their baby.
1505
01:02:08,028 --> 01:02:09,363
The baby that he didn't
want to have with me.
1506
01:02:09,396 --> 01:02:11,298
At my garden shop.
1507
01:02:11,332 --> 01:02:13,234
Did you shove him
into a cactus?
1508
01:02:13,267 --> 01:02:15,135
I mean, that would have been my
go-to move just right in there.
1509
01:02:15,169 --> 01:02:16,203
-No, but I should have.
-Yeah, you should have.
1510
01:02:16,237 --> 01:02:18,072
Yeah.
1511
01:02:18,105 --> 01:02:21,976
You know, my mom got divorced
at the age of 44.
1512
01:02:22,009 --> 01:02:25,879
And I can honestly say I don't
think she's ever had sex since.
1513
01:02:27,314 --> 01:02:29,183
I think she's hanging out
in the wrong retirement homes.
1514
01:02:29,216 --> 01:02:30,317
-Yeah?
-I really do.
1515
01:02:34,054 --> 01:02:37,992
Thing is I don't feel
any different than I did
1516
01:02:38,025 --> 01:02:39,393
when I was 25.
1517
01:02:39,426 --> 01:02:42,129
Yeah, same. It's crazy.
1518
01:02:42,162 --> 01:02:43,998
I went to see
this band last week,
1519
01:02:44,031 --> 01:02:45,499
and I swear to you,
1520
01:02:45,533 --> 01:02:49,503
I raised the average age of
that room by at least 10 years.
1521
01:02:49,537 --> 01:02:51,171
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1522
01:02:51,205 --> 01:02:54,942
And I caught the eye of
this woman and I smiled at her,
1523
01:02:54,975 --> 01:02:56,410
and she looked me
like I was a pedophile.
1524
01:02:56,443 --> 01:02:58,145
Okay, but in her defense-
1525
01:02:58,178 --> 01:02:59,346
-What?
-You just-
1526
01:02:59,380 --> 01:03:03,050
wait, guys at clubs are creepy.
1527
01:03:03,083 --> 01:03:06,186
They are. I mean, I go dancing
and I swear
1528
01:03:06,220 --> 01:03:08,255
every single guy in there is
looking at me like I'm in heat.
1529
01:03:09,456 --> 01:03:13,093
Why can't a girl just look fly
and go dancing, you know?
1530
01:03:13,127 --> 01:03:14,295
I hate to break it to you but
1531
01:03:14,328 --> 01:03:17,131
dancing has
always been about sex.
1532
01:03:17,164 --> 01:03:18,365
Yeah. I mean, I saw this
National Geographic video.
1533
01:03:18,399 --> 01:03:19,601
Are you flirting with me?
1534
01:03:22,136 --> 01:03:23,505
Anyway, I saw this video of this
1535
01:03:23,538 --> 01:03:24,938
crazy little
red and yellow birds
1536
01:03:24,972 --> 01:03:26,974
and they're doing like,
this mating ritual,
1537
01:03:27,007 --> 01:03:28,475
and I swear to you, it looked
exactly
1538
01:03:28,510 --> 01:03:29,511
like the Hammertime move.
1539
01:03:30,944 --> 01:03:31,979
No idea what you're
talking about.
1540
01:03:33,347 --> 01:03:36,450
MC Hammer? Hammertime?
Can't touch this?
1541
01:03:36,483 --> 01:03:38,919
I don't know. Can you show me? I
mean is it hard?
1542
01:03:38,952 --> 01:03:40,387
-Serious?
-Yeah.
1543
01:03:40,421 --> 01:03:41,388
-I mean yeah.
-What does it look like?
1544
01:03:41,422 --> 01:03:42,524
-I don't know.
-I'll show you.
1545
01:03:42,557 --> 01:03:45,259
- Okay.
- Are you ready?
1546
01:03:45,292 --> 01:03:47,061
Uh-huh.
- So, it's like- it's like.
1547
01:03:50,331 --> 01:03:51,498
Wow.
1548
01:03:51,533 --> 01:03:53,867
That is- that is something else.
1549
01:03:55,235 --> 01:03:58,405
I mean, I would definitely
swipe right.
1550
01:03:58,439 --> 01:03:59,440
- Yeah?
- Yeah, I would swipe right
1551
01:03:59,473 --> 01:04:01,041
if I were a bird.
1552
01:04:01,075 --> 01:04:03,010
Oh okay!
Good, good to know.
1553
01:04:14,054 --> 01:04:15,389
Can I ask you something?
1554
01:04:15,422 --> 01:04:19,527
And it's 100% okay
if you say no, obviously.
1555
01:04:19,561 --> 01:04:21,495
Yeah.
1556
01:04:21,529 --> 01:04:25,199
Can I kiss you?
I just really wanna kiss you.
1557
01:04:29,169 --> 01:04:30,437
I'm not supposed to.
1558
01:04:32,005 --> 01:04:34,609
Oh, okay. Why?
1559
01:04:37,144 --> 01:04:39,514
Because Molly is my best friend
and Geoff is your best friend.
1560
01:04:39,547 --> 01:04:41,949
And if it didn't work out
between us
1561
01:04:41,982 --> 01:04:43,685
then that would be
awkward for them.
1562
01:04:43,718 --> 01:04:45,520
Right, yeah. Absolutely.
1563
01:04:45,553 --> 01:04:48,590
And, you know, then who
would invite us to this-
1564
01:05:05,038 --> 01:05:06,073
I was just thinking,
1565
01:05:06,106 --> 01:05:08,510
I mean, kissing doesn't
1566
01:05:08,543 --> 01:05:11,613
-have to mean anything, right?
-Totally.
1567
01:05:11,646 --> 01:05:13,681
We can just make out,
just not be in a relationship.
1568
01:05:13,715 --> 01:05:15,048
Nope, yeah.
1569
01:05:17,519 --> 01:05:19,186
Can I ask you something?
1570
01:05:19,219 --> 01:05:22,322
And you can 100% say no.
1571
01:05:22,356 --> 01:05:23,457
Yeah.
1572
01:05:25,259 --> 01:05:26,460
Do you wanna go have sex?
1573
01:05:27,629 --> 01:05:30,197
100% yes. Okay.
1574
01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:36,638
♪ You and me ♪
1575
01:05:36,671 --> 01:05:38,506
♪ Let's get together ♪
1576
01:05:41,341 --> 01:05:44,512
♪ You and me ♪
1577
01:05:44,546 --> 01:05:46,113
♪ You think forever ♪
1578
01:05:50,284 --> 01:05:52,219
Hey, hey.
1579
01:05:52,252 --> 01:05:54,522
-Hi.
-There you are. I love you.
1580
01:05:54,556 --> 01:05:56,490
I love you too.
1581
01:05:56,524 --> 01:05:58,593
-How are you feeling?
-I feel hot.
1582
01:05:58,626 --> 01:06:01,763
I am so hot, right?
1583
01:06:01,796 --> 01:06:03,397
Are you hot?
1584
01:06:03,430 --> 01:06:04,599
-No.
-Because I am certainly.
1585
01:06:04,632 --> 01:06:05,700
You are very hot.
1586
01:06:05,733 --> 01:06:08,202
You are very attractive
human being.
1587
01:06:08,235 --> 01:06:09,369
Hmm.
1588
01:06:14,408 --> 01:06:16,343
Oh fuck.
1589
01:06:16,376 --> 01:06:17,545
Yeah.
1590
01:06:19,246 --> 01:06:21,482
If you want to have sex
with my sister-in-law,
1591
01:06:21,516 --> 01:06:23,450
then you should do it
because that's beautiful
1592
01:06:23,484 --> 01:06:26,420
and then we'll be
real sisters forever.
1593
01:06:26,453 --> 01:06:27,689
Yeah.
1594
01:06:27,722 --> 01:06:28,756
Forever.
1595
01:06:34,461 --> 01:06:36,430
Oh god, this feels so wrong.
1596
01:06:36,463 --> 01:06:37,532
Do you want me to stop?
1597
01:06:37,565 --> 01:06:39,734
No. God, no, no, no.
Keep going.
1598
01:06:39,767 --> 01:06:41,468
Okay.
1599
01:06:41,502 --> 01:06:44,539
How about this? You sit down
and I get you some water?
1600
01:06:44,572 --> 01:06:46,340
Okay. That sounds magic.
1601
01:06:46,373 --> 01:06:47,575
I bet it does.
1602
01:06:50,310 --> 01:06:51,513
Listen how thirsty I am.
1603
01:06:52,847 --> 01:06:55,817
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's dry in there.
1604
01:06:55,850 --> 01:06:57,685
Okay, just- alright.
1605
01:06:57,719 --> 01:06:59,286
Because I'm so hot.
1606
01:07:04,792 --> 01:07:06,126
Oh god no,
what are you doing?
1607
01:07:07,562 --> 01:07:10,598
Well, we didn't use protection
so I pulled out.
1608
01:07:10,632 --> 01:07:12,667
But that's not what was
supposed to happen.
1609
01:07:12,700 --> 01:07:15,369
-What?
-Oh god. Okay.
1610
01:07:15,402 --> 01:07:18,338
I mean, that's okay.
That's okay.
1611
01:07:20,542 --> 01:07:22,242
Oh, here, I'll-
1612
01:07:22,276 --> 01:07:23,778
I'll do that.
I don't want you-
1613
01:07:23,811 --> 01:07:24,746
I don't want you
to do the dirty work.
1614
01:07:24,779 --> 01:07:26,146
It's okay. I got it.
1615
01:07:26,179 --> 01:07:27,180
Okay.
1616
01:07:28,550 --> 01:07:29,684
Sorry about the- you know.
1617
01:07:29,717 --> 01:07:30,718
No, it's okay.
1618
01:07:30,752 --> 01:07:32,787
And that was amazing.
1619
01:07:32,820 --> 01:07:36,658
Yeah, that was amazing.
It really was.
1620
01:07:36,691 --> 01:07:38,593
Yeah. So-
1621
01:07:41,763 --> 01:07:44,164
I'll just see you out there.
1622
01:07:44,197 --> 01:07:45,365
Alright.
1623
01:07:51,906 --> 01:07:53,307
Shit.
1624
01:07:57,244 --> 01:07:58,312
Hey Siri,
1625
01:07:59,614 --> 01:08:01,883
how long does sperm
last outside the body?
1626
01:08:17,364 --> 01:08:19,767
No, no, no, no. This is wrong.
No, no, no.
1627
01:08:36,551 --> 01:08:37,885
Okay, alright.
1628
01:08:39,821 --> 01:08:41,321
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
1629
01:08:45,459 --> 01:08:47,227
Hurry, hurry, come on.
1630
01:08:48,295 --> 01:08:49,664
I don't want it to
get on my dress.
1631
01:08:49,697 --> 01:08:52,700
Please, I can feel it
going down my back. Eww. Please.
1632
01:08:52,734 --> 01:08:54,334
Alright. Hold still.
1633
01:08:54,368 --> 01:08:55,502
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
1634
01:08:55,536 --> 01:08:56,771
-Make sure you get it all.
-Yeah, I am.
1635
01:08:56,804 --> 01:08:58,539
Some kind of got to the crack.
Alright.
1636
01:08:59,741 --> 01:09:01,776
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
1637
01:09:01,809 --> 01:09:03,310
So, you know,
you can't pay me enough
1638
01:09:03,343 --> 01:09:04,812
-to do the second part.
-No, no, no.
1639
01:09:04,846 --> 01:09:05,947
No, no, no.
I know, I know.
1640
01:09:05,980 --> 01:09:07,815
Okay.
1641
01:09:07,849 --> 01:09:08,816
- Hey Junior.
- Hey.
1642
01:09:08,850 --> 01:09:10,217
Why are you in such a good mood?
1643
01:09:10,250 --> 01:09:12,520
Oh, I'm just hanging.
I'm partying.
1644
01:09:16,924 --> 01:09:18,325
What's up?
1645
01:09:18,358 --> 01:09:19,426
Hey, man.
1646
01:09:21,395 --> 01:09:23,765
You sneaking around Jaclyn too?
1647
01:09:23,798 --> 01:09:25,633
What?
1648
01:09:25,667 --> 01:09:27,568
She's quite the slippery mix,
that one.
1649
01:09:28,803 --> 01:09:29,837
Okay.
1650
01:09:31,471 --> 01:09:32,573
Oh shit.
1651
01:09:36,376 --> 01:09:38,245
Hey, do you know where Geoff is?
1652
01:09:38,278 --> 01:09:39,847
I love this party.
1653
01:09:43,350 --> 01:09:44,852
- Hi.
- Hey.
1654
01:09:44,886 --> 01:09:46,888
-Hello.
-There's the birthday boy.
1655
01:09:46,921 --> 01:09:50,390
-Yeah.
-Get in the pool. Get inside me.
1656
01:09:50,424 --> 01:09:52,492
Sweetie, why don't you
get out of the pool, huh?
1657
01:09:52,527 --> 01:09:54,327
No, no, no, no.
1658
01:09:54,361 --> 01:09:57,699
You come in the pool
because guess what it is?
1659
01:09:57,732 --> 01:10:00,635
It's later.
1660
01:10:00,668 --> 01:10:03,671
Get in your birthday suit
you birthday boy.
1661
01:10:03,705 --> 01:10:06,607
And come on.
This whole pool feels like sex.
1662
01:10:08,676 --> 01:10:12,245
I don't think now
is the best later, okay?
1663
01:10:13,681 --> 01:10:15,917
Fine. Then just go back inside.
1664
01:10:15,950 --> 01:10:17,384
No, I mean- Look,
1665
01:10:17,618 --> 01:10:19,987
you know I'm totally down for
the later thing, the plan.
1666
01:10:20,021 --> 01:10:22,289
-Just now is-
-MOLLY: It was a moment.
1667
01:10:22,322 --> 01:10:25,593
And it was gonna be
beautiful and perfect.
1668
01:10:25,626 --> 01:10:27,427
But you ruined it.
1669
01:10:27,461 --> 01:10:29,931
And so, I guess we'll just
keep
1670
01:10:29,964 --> 01:10:32,033
never ever having sex.
1671
01:10:32,066 --> 01:10:33,868
Ever, ever, ever, ever.
1672
01:10:33,901 --> 01:10:36,804
And then one day we'll have sex
and it will be like,
1673
01:10:36,838 --> 01:10:38,906
-"We have to throw a parade."
-I'm gonna go get Jacyln.
1674
01:10:38,940 --> 01:10:41,374
Yay, we had sex.
1675
01:10:43,010 --> 01:10:45,312
So, you and Armin.
1676
01:10:45,345 --> 01:10:46,981
What am I gonna tell Molly?
1677
01:10:47,014 --> 01:10:49,483
Girl, I told Geoff I wasn't
flirting with his sister
1678
01:10:49,517 --> 01:10:52,920
which is a promise
I don't intend on keeping. Okay?
1679
01:10:52,954 --> 01:10:54,387
You're the best.
1680
01:10:57,592 --> 01:11:00,561
I'm here for moral support.
1681
01:11:00,595 --> 01:11:03,831
Okay well, thank you.
1682
01:11:03,865 --> 01:11:05,733
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
1683
01:11:08,903 --> 01:11:12,472
- Hey guys, have you seen Jackie?
- No? Alright.
1684
01:11:12,507 --> 01:11:13,708
Hey, have you seen Jackie?
1685
01:11:13,741 --> 01:11:15,777
You gotta be kidding me.
You too?
1686
01:11:16,944 --> 01:11:19,412
You know,
you have a beautiful wife.
1687
01:11:19,446 --> 01:11:20,815
You should take care of her.
1688
01:11:20,848 --> 01:11:22,784
Or someone else will.
1689
01:11:22,817 --> 01:11:24,752
Okay, okay.
1690
01:11:24,786 --> 01:11:27,688
Listen to me you
flea market Picasso.
1691
01:11:27,722 --> 01:11:30,792
Your next words, I would
choose them very carefully.
1692
01:11:30,825 --> 01:11:31,959
-Oh yeah?
-Yeah.
1693
01:11:31,993 --> 01:11:35,596
Or what? Oh!
He made me spill my drink.
1694
01:11:36,731 --> 01:11:37,932
I think you should leave, huh?
1695
01:11:37,965 --> 01:11:39,066
I would prefer not to.
1696
01:11:40,433 --> 01:11:41,669
I don't give a fuck.
1697
01:11:46,107 --> 01:11:47,875
Occupied!
1698
01:11:47,909 --> 01:11:50,778
Oh shit.
I was just doing crunches.
1699
01:11:50,812 --> 01:11:52,479
What do you mean occupied?
1700
01:11:53,681 --> 01:11:54,882
Oh!
1701
01:11:58,451 --> 01:12:01,421
I'm sorry, Geoff. I-
1702
01:12:01,454 --> 01:12:03,624
I need you to get
Molly out of the pool
1703
01:12:03,658 --> 01:12:07,394
where she's swimming
in her under things.
1704
01:12:07,427 --> 01:12:08,763
Okay, absolutely.
1705
01:12:08,796 --> 01:12:11,132
-Okay?
-Geoff, does this mean
1706
01:12:11,165 --> 01:12:12,867
I'm not invited to Thanksgiving?
1707
01:12:12,900 --> 01:12:15,937
Get her out of the pool! God!
1708
01:12:18,405 --> 01:12:19,941
♪ Get your hands up ♪
1709
01:12:24,712 --> 01:12:25,813
-Hey.
-Hey.
1710
01:12:25,847 --> 01:12:27,380
Hi. Hi.
1711
01:12:27,414 --> 01:12:30,117
Just- I just have to go
help Molly.
1712
01:12:30,151 --> 01:12:33,654
Oh, and let's just keep that
1713
01:12:33,688 --> 01:12:34,889
to ourselves, yeah?
1714
01:12:34,922 --> 01:12:36,456
Yeah, yeah. Definitely.
1715
01:12:36,489 --> 01:12:37,725
On the down low.
1716
01:12:37,758 --> 01:12:39,760
The QT. Totally.
1717
01:12:41,796 --> 01:12:43,965
Then again, it's like
we're not in junior high. Right?
1718
01:12:43,998 --> 01:12:46,067
We don't need Geoff
and Molly's permission to
1719
01:12:46,100 --> 01:12:48,536
I don't know, say,
go to a concert.
1720
01:12:48,569 --> 01:12:52,173
I'm on the board at StubHub
and I can get us primo seats.
1721
01:12:52,206 --> 01:12:54,108
What do you say?
1722
01:12:54,141 --> 01:12:55,442
Yeah I mean, yeah. That could
happen.
1723
01:12:55,475 --> 01:12:57,912
Yeah, okay, cool.
Got you a glass.
1724
01:12:57,945 --> 01:12:59,714
No, no.
1725
01:12:59,747 --> 01:13:01,148
You've heard of NFTs, right?
1726
01:13:01,182 --> 01:13:03,618
This is weed fungible tokens.
It's an investment.
1727
01:13:07,755 --> 01:13:08,723
Hey.
1728
01:13:10,725 --> 01:13:12,760
Geoff won't have sex with me.
1729
01:13:14,528 --> 01:13:17,965
I don't think his birthday
party is the best time to do it.
1730
01:13:17,999 --> 01:13:19,499
You know?
1731
01:13:19,533 --> 01:13:21,736
We barely even
have sex anymore ever.
1732
01:13:21,769 --> 01:13:23,938
Honey, you guys have been
married a long time.
1733
01:13:25,172 --> 01:13:27,440
You know, at the end
for Todd and I,
1734
01:13:27,474 --> 01:13:30,211
we had sex maybe like,
1735
01:13:30,244 --> 01:13:31,946
twice a month.
1736
01:13:31,979 --> 01:13:34,115
Yeah, but you were unhappy.
1737
01:13:34,148 --> 01:13:35,216
When we started dating,
1738
01:13:35,249 --> 01:13:37,618
we had sex two times a night.
1739
01:13:37,652 --> 01:13:40,721
We just recently went
on a romantic spa getaway
1740
01:13:40,755 --> 01:13:42,657
and we had sex one time
1741
01:13:42,690 --> 01:13:44,792
in three nights.
1742
01:13:44,825 --> 01:13:46,227
Maybe men slow down
as they age.
1743
01:13:46,260 --> 01:13:49,830
No, that's what I wanted.
1744
01:13:49,864 --> 01:13:51,464
That's not me.
1745
01:13:53,200 --> 01:13:56,637
Well, this definitely is you.
1746
01:13:56,671 --> 01:13:58,773
I mean, this reminds me of
some of the fun times we had
1747
01:13:58,806 --> 01:14:00,007
in senior year.
1748
01:14:00,041 --> 01:14:02,877
Right?
Because I used to be fun.
1749
01:14:02,910 --> 01:14:05,079
Like, I was fun, right?
1750
01:14:05,112 --> 01:14:08,115
But I'm not any fun anymore.
1751
01:14:08,149 --> 01:14:09,083
- Yes, you are.
- I'm not.
1752
01:14:09,116 --> 01:14:10,618
I'm not even a fun mom.
1753
01:14:10,651 --> 01:14:12,186
I thought I'd be a cool mom.
But I'm not.
1754
01:14:12,219 --> 01:14:14,588
I yell.
I yell at my kids.
1755
01:14:14,622 --> 01:14:15,823
I do it, I do.
1756
01:14:15,856 --> 01:14:16,958
Everybody does.
1757
01:14:18,526 --> 01:14:19,894
Come here, come here.
1758
01:14:21,963 --> 01:14:23,931
I almost had sex with Tim.
1759
01:14:23,965 --> 01:14:25,099
What?
1760
01:14:25,132 --> 01:14:26,233
I really wanted to.
1761
01:14:26,267 --> 01:14:28,769
Molly, he's the worst.
1762
01:14:28,803 --> 01:14:30,805
And it's your fault
that I didn't do it.
1763
01:14:30,838 --> 01:14:32,840
I just was thinking
about you and Todd,
1764
01:14:32,873 --> 01:14:34,909
and I didn't want
to break my marriage.
1765
01:14:34,942 --> 01:14:36,243
I love Geoff.
I love him.
1766
01:14:36,277 --> 01:14:37,878
He's a good man.
1767
01:14:39,547 --> 01:14:43,017
I'm so bored.
I'm like, so, so bored.
1768
01:14:43,050 --> 01:14:45,987
And I just-
I hate my new friends.
1769
01:14:46,020 --> 01:14:49,256
Because I- No, no, no.
I don't-I don't hate them.
1770
01:14:49,290 --> 01:14:51,192
I just-
1771
01:14:51,225 --> 01:14:54,061
I do hate me when I'm with them.
1772
01:14:54,095 --> 01:14:56,831
I fucking hate all of it.
1773
01:14:56,864 --> 01:14:59,066
Like, I hate dance try outs.
1774
01:14:59,100 --> 01:15:01,168
And I hate room moms.
1775
01:15:01,202 --> 01:15:04,605
"Oh, please upload a photos
of your sweet little angels
1776
01:15:04,638 --> 01:15:06,841
into the Shutterfly site."
1777
01:15:06,874 --> 01:15:08,542
Why didn't you
upload any photos?
1778
01:15:08,576 --> 01:15:10,077
You forgot to upload
the photos.
1779
01:15:10,111 --> 01:15:11,545
Could you just do that please?
1780
01:15:11,579 --> 01:15:13,147
Could you please do that?"
1781
01:15:13,180 --> 01:15:14,615
Jackie, don't be a mom.
1782
01:15:18,052 --> 01:15:20,788
I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have said that.
1783
01:15:20,821 --> 01:15:23,758
But you won't be fun anymore
because I'm not fun anymore.
1784
01:15:23,791 --> 01:15:25,659
And I'm never gonna see you.
1785
01:15:25,693 --> 01:15:28,295
When do you even see me?
I'm like your best friend.
1786
01:15:28,329 --> 01:15:31,565
Wait. Am I even your
best friend anymore?
1787
01:15:31,599 --> 01:15:32,666
Of course, you are.
1788
01:15:34,735 --> 01:15:37,905
Molly, come on.
Sisters before misters.
1789
01:15:37,938 --> 01:15:39,273
I love you.
1790
01:15:39,306 --> 01:15:40,674
I love you.
1791
01:15:46,714 --> 01:15:48,682
Also, why am I in the pool?
1792
01:15:48,716 --> 01:15:50,785
I don't know.
1793
01:15:50,818 --> 01:15:52,953
Maybe I thought
everybody would get in.
1794
01:15:52,987 --> 01:15:56,357
Yeah. Maybe it'll be a good
idea for you to get out
1795
01:15:56,390 --> 01:15:57,958
and do the cake.
1796
01:15:57,992 --> 01:15:59,927
Oh no, the cake.
1797
01:15:59,960 --> 01:16:03,264
Oh no, it's Geoff's birthday.
I ruined Geoff's birthday.
1798
01:16:03,297 --> 01:16:06,333
No, no, no.
I think I have you beat there.
1799
01:16:06,367 --> 01:16:07,902
It's true.
1800
01:16:09,236 --> 01:16:10,805
It's probably true.
1801
01:16:10,838 --> 01:16:11,872
Alright, okay.
1802
01:16:11,906 --> 01:16:12,773
You know, I love you.
1803
01:16:12,807 --> 01:16:14,708
I love you too.
1804
01:16:14,742 --> 01:16:17,211
Can I-
Can I borrow you for a sec.
1805
01:16:17,244 --> 01:16:18,813
I'm just helping Molly
with the cake.
1806
01:16:18,846 --> 01:16:20,648
Yeah, it'll be great.
1807
01:16:20,681 --> 01:16:21,816
It's okay.
1808
01:16:21,849 --> 01:16:23,250
I'll be right back. Okay.
1809
01:16:33,894 --> 01:16:37,198
Cake, frosting.
I'm coming for you candles.
1810
01:16:38,732 --> 01:16:40,334
Joyce, hey.
1811
01:16:40,367 --> 01:16:43,971
I just wanted to introduce you
to my girlfriend, Jaclyn.
1812
01:16:44,004 --> 01:16:46,941
Huh. How convenient.
1813
01:16:46,974 --> 01:16:48,809
It's a pleasure to meet you.
1814
01:16:48,843 --> 01:16:50,978
How long have you two
been together?
1815
01:16:51,011 --> 01:16:54,014
We're not actually
"dating" dating.
1816
01:16:54,048 --> 01:16:56,183
Yeah, but it seems promising.
1817
01:16:56,217 --> 01:16:58,018
You know, just nice
to be with someone
1818
01:16:58,052 --> 01:16:59,920
who doesn't play games.
1819
01:16:59,954 --> 01:17:03,824
Oh, yeah. I get that.
I do adore games.
1820
01:17:03,858 --> 01:17:05,326
Probably because
I enjoy the company
1821
01:17:05,359 --> 01:17:06,961
-of other human beings.
-A lot, yeah.
1822
01:17:06,994 --> 01:17:08,696
I shouldn't be in the middle.
1823
01:17:08,729 --> 01:17:10,931
Is everything alright over here?
Are these people bothering you?
1824
01:17:10,965 --> 01:17:12,833
Who the fuck is this guy?
1825
01:17:12,867 --> 01:17:14,401
-Uh, he-
-Wait a minute. I know you.
1826
01:17:14,435 --> 01:17:16,103
Are you the shirtless chef?
1827
01:17:16,137 --> 01:17:17,771
Oh my god, I love your
brined chicken breasts.
1828
01:17:17,805 --> 01:17:19,006
They're so good.
1829
01:17:19,039 --> 01:17:20,941
It's the smoked paprika
and pineapple juice
1830
01:17:20,975 --> 01:17:22,409
that makes it boom.
1831
01:17:22,443 --> 01:17:23,978
Do you drink
a lot of pineapple juice?
1832
01:17:24,011 --> 01:17:25,146
- Tons.
- Ah,
1833
01:17:25,179 --> 01:17:26,280
it's got that sweet sauce?
1834
01:17:26,313 --> 01:17:28,115
Yeah, it's got that sweet sauce.
1835
01:17:28,149 --> 01:17:29,884
Okay, what is going on here?
1836
01:17:29,917 --> 01:17:32,987
Just talking to people
at a party I was invited to.
1837
01:17:33,020 --> 01:17:34,021
So.
1838
01:17:35,456 --> 01:17:38,926
Hi, it's me MJ
from the bathroom.
1839
01:17:38,959 --> 01:17:41,328
I know it's not Jeff Goldblum,
but it is a dinosaur
1840
01:17:41,362 --> 01:17:44,331
and they're apex predators
and you're the apex predator
1841
01:17:44,365 --> 01:17:45,866
of my heart.
1842
01:17:45,900 --> 01:17:47,935
Hey yo, before you leave,
1843
01:17:47,968 --> 01:17:49,436
we're gonna have
a little survey.
1844
01:17:49,470 --> 01:17:52,973
Show hands who here
has not had sex
1845
01:17:53,007 --> 01:17:54,375
with Jaclyn tonight.
1846
01:17:54,408 --> 01:17:56,310
Show of hands please.
1847
01:17:56,343 --> 01:17:59,380
One, two, three, four, five.
1848
01:17:59,413 --> 01:18:01,048
It's more than
I would have thought.
1849
01:18:01,081 --> 01:18:03,117
Did you have a gang bang
at my birthday party?
1850
01:18:03,150 --> 01:18:04,418
No. No.
1851
01:18:04,451 --> 01:18:07,054
Okay, whoa,
you're slut shaming her.
1852
01:18:07,087 --> 01:18:08,923
No, it's truth telling.
1853
01:18:08,956 --> 01:18:11,025
She fucked four guys
at my house.
1854
01:18:11,058 --> 01:18:13,827
Oh my god.
When you went upstairs.
1855
01:18:13,861 --> 01:18:16,197
Please tell me that you
did not have sex in my bed.
1856
01:18:16,230 --> 01:18:17,765
No, I didn't.
1857
01:18:17,798 --> 01:18:20,768
He is the only guy
I didn't have sex with.
1858
01:18:20,801 --> 01:18:22,436
I buy that. Yeah.
1859
01:18:24,004 --> 01:18:27,174
Obviously, I mean, you're
uninvited to Thanksgiving.
1860
01:18:27,208 --> 01:18:28,342
You know what? This guy?
1861
01:18:28,375 --> 01:18:30,211
Yeah, okay.
I get it.
1862
01:18:30,244 --> 01:18:32,346
You had sex with the shirtless
chef? Lucky.
1863
01:18:32,379 --> 01:18:35,449
And this one, yes,
okay, I get it.
1864
01:18:38,252 --> 01:18:42,022
But him? Really? Him over me?
You've gotta be kidding me.
1865
01:18:42,056 --> 01:18:43,390
I thought I was
your wish come true.
1866
01:18:43,424 --> 01:18:44,458
You are.
1867
01:18:44,491 --> 01:18:46,026
♪ Happy birthday- ♪
1868
01:18:46,060 --> 01:18:47,261
-Oh, for fucks sake.
-♪ To you. ♪
1869
01:18:48,963 --> 01:18:52,933
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1870
01:18:52,967 --> 01:18:54,134
Everybody singing.
1871
01:18:54,168 --> 01:18:57,771
♪ Happy birthday dear Geoff ♪
1872
01:18:57,805 --> 01:18:58,806
What are you?
1873
01:19:00,841 --> 01:19:03,210
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
1874
01:19:03,244 --> 01:19:06,013
-What is the matter with you?
-Honey, make a wish.
1875
01:19:06,046 --> 01:19:07,047
I love you.
1876
01:19:08,349 --> 01:19:09,783
I wish this night
would fucking end.
1877
01:19:10,884 --> 01:19:12,019
It didn't.
1878
01:19:12,052 --> 01:19:13,254
That was pretty dark.
1879
01:19:13,287 --> 01:19:14,522
I should go.
1880
01:19:14,556 --> 01:19:16,323
No, no,
you're not going anywhere.
1881
01:19:16,357 --> 01:19:18,192
Didn't it mean anything to you?
1882
01:19:18,225 --> 01:19:20,894
Of course it did.
It was fun.
1883
01:19:20,928 --> 01:19:22,863
Can't that be enough?
1884
01:19:22,896 --> 01:19:25,799
But physical touch,
that's my love language.
1885
01:19:25,833 --> 01:19:28,269
Well, acts of service are mine.
1886
01:19:28,302 --> 01:19:30,538
Jaclyn, I thought
we had a connection.
1887
01:19:30,572 --> 01:19:33,173
We did. We do.
1888
01:19:33,207 --> 01:19:36,578
You slept with Armin?
But I asked you not to.
1889
01:19:36,611 --> 01:19:37,845
Why not me?
1890
01:19:37,878 --> 01:19:40,247
Wait, Molly.
1891
01:19:40,281 --> 01:19:41,949
Did you have something
to do with this?
1892
01:19:43,484 --> 01:19:45,520
No. No, no, no.
1893
01:19:45,553 --> 01:19:48,355
She told me
way before the party
1894
01:19:48,389 --> 01:19:51,058
not to have sex
with Armin.
1895
01:19:51,091 --> 01:19:52,960
-Oh.
-Okay, why not me?
1896
01:19:52,993 --> 01:19:54,361
This is like "The bachelorette."
1897
01:19:54,395 --> 01:19:55,929
Yeah, with fucking.
1898
01:19:55,963 --> 01:19:57,164
Oh, there's fucking
on "The Bachelorette".
1899
01:19:57,464 --> 01:20:00,501
You guys, there is a really
simple explanation for all this.
1900
01:20:02,002 --> 01:20:03,837
Jaclyn has stage 4 lymphoma.
1901
01:20:03,871 --> 01:20:06,040
She's got a week to live.
1902
01:20:06,073 --> 01:20:07,141
So, she slept
with a bunch of guys.
1903
01:20:07,174 --> 01:20:08,409
Who are we to judge?
1904
01:20:08,643 --> 01:20:11,378
Wow, you look amazing for
stage 4 cancer. You really do.
1905
01:20:11,412 --> 01:20:12,614
- Really hot.
- Oh Jaclyn-jaan.
1906
01:20:12,647 --> 01:20:14,516
This is why you quit
Jen Aniston's charity?
1907
01:20:14,549 --> 01:20:15,949
Wait, you know Jen Aniston?
1908
01:20:16,216 --> 01:20:18,052
Can you put in a good word
for me before like- you know.
1909
01:20:18,085 --> 01:20:19,987
No, I'm not dying, okay?
1910
01:20:20,020 --> 01:20:21,955
And I didn't quit my job.
1911
01:20:21,989 --> 01:20:24,158
And my mom didn't break her hip.
1912
01:20:24,191 --> 01:20:25,959
And I think that covers
all the lies.
1913
01:20:25,993 --> 01:20:29,863
And I am really, really sorry
if I hurt you guys.
1914
01:20:31,298 --> 01:20:34,536
I'm sorry, Geoff. I'm sorry if I
ruined your birthday.
1915
01:20:34,569 --> 01:20:36,337
Apology accepted.
I'll get the door.
1916
01:20:40,341 --> 01:20:41,509
- Oh.
- We were just making
1917
01:20:41,743 --> 01:20:43,477
out in the closet. It's not a
metaphor for anything.
1918
01:20:43,511 --> 01:20:46,280
You know, if anybody
should be having sex, it's me.
1919
01:20:46,313 --> 01:20:48,148
It's my party.
It's my party.
1920
01:20:48,182 --> 01:20:49,483
Oh Geoffrey, grow up.
1921
01:20:49,517 --> 01:20:50,918
Where are you going?
1922
01:20:51,151 --> 01:20:51,985
- The party's over.
- What do you mean
1923
01:20:52,019 --> 01:20:53,887
the party's over? Oh.
1924
01:20:55,923 --> 01:20:57,925
Enjoy your walk of shame, slut.
1925
01:21:05,567 --> 01:21:08,102
I knew you'd come back for me.
1926
01:21:08,135 --> 01:21:11,905
Listen, you misogynistic
untalented nut sack,
1927
01:21:11,939 --> 01:21:13,273
if I'm really such a slut,
1928
01:21:13,307 --> 01:21:14,975
then why didn't I
sleep with you?
1929
01:21:15,008 --> 01:21:17,244
And also, fuck you
for calling me a slut.
1930
01:21:17,277 --> 01:21:20,347
I can sleep with whoever I want
and however many people I want.
1931
01:21:20,381 --> 01:21:23,518
Just because you didn't get
laid
doesn't make me the bad guy.
1932
01:21:23,551 --> 01:21:26,688
And actually, it was deliberate
choice not to sleep with you
1933
01:21:26,721 --> 01:21:30,224
because the very thought of
a miniature you make me sick.
1934
01:21:30,257 --> 01:21:32,292
Wow, why would there
be miniature me?
1935
01:21:35,530 --> 01:21:38,198
Because you were all selected
1936
01:21:38,232 --> 01:21:40,602
for a very special purpose.
1937
01:21:40,635 --> 01:21:42,570
I gotta say, it's beautiful.
1938
01:21:42,604 --> 01:21:45,105
Is this a Mormon thing?
Like, you're sister wives?
1939
01:21:45,139 --> 01:21:46,574
Wait a minute.
Is this a key party?
1940
01:21:46,608 --> 01:21:48,208
Oh my god, is this a coven?
1941
01:21:48,242 --> 01:21:50,444
Where the fuck are my-
Never mind, I got it.
1942
01:21:50,477 --> 01:21:52,212
You told me the condom broke.
1943
01:21:52,246 --> 01:21:54,348
It did. It did technically.
1944
01:21:54,381 --> 01:21:56,183
You know, I just- I might have
helped it a little bit.
1945
01:21:56,216 --> 01:21:59,587
Girl, this is deceivious.
I like it.
1946
01:21:59,621 --> 01:22:01,255
She wants a baby.
1947
01:22:01,288 --> 01:22:04,992
So, one of you lucky guys
is gonna be a baby daddy. Yay.
1948
01:22:07,060 --> 01:22:09,531
And who wants cake?
1949
01:22:09,564 --> 01:22:11,465
Well, at least I know
it's not mine.
1950
01:22:11,498 --> 01:22:13,701
I pulled out.
1951
01:22:13,735 --> 01:22:15,302
Umm.
1952
01:22:15,335 --> 01:22:18,238
-How?
-Life finds a way.
1953
01:22:18,272 --> 01:22:19,541
Okay, so which one was I?
1954
01:22:21,341 --> 01:22:24,044
Oh god, I after-
I'm gonna be sick.
1955
01:22:24,077 --> 01:22:25,245
Yeah, I want a DNA test.
1956
01:22:25,279 --> 01:22:26,648
Yeah, I feel really used
right now.
1957
01:22:26,681 --> 01:22:28,315
Like, I'm losing money
coming here.
1958
01:22:28,348 --> 01:22:29,983
I didn't eat carbs.
1959
01:22:30,017 --> 01:22:33,053
Bottomline is, none of these
men
gave their consent.
1960
01:22:33,086 --> 01:22:34,556
What you did is fraud.
1961
01:22:34,589 --> 01:22:37,424
Well, it's only fraud If she
tricked them into having sex.
1962
01:22:37,458 --> 01:22:40,294
I mean, look at her.
I say they hit the jackpot.
1963
01:22:40,327 --> 01:22:41,529
Thank you. Stop fucking whining.
1964
01:22:41,563 --> 01:22:42,697
I know y'all wanted
to get a piece of
1965
01:22:42,730 --> 01:22:44,732
Jackie's McGinley's Vaginley.
1966
01:22:44,766 --> 01:22:46,467
This was just supposed
to be a one-time thing.
1967
01:22:46,500 --> 01:22:48,469
I'm probably gonna plan B
the whole thing anyway.
1968
01:22:48,502 --> 01:22:49,537
Oh, no, no. Don't do that.
1969
01:22:53,073 --> 01:22:55,375
Each and every one of you
are good and decent men.
1970
01:22:55,409 --> 01:22:56,678
Except you.
1971
01:22:56,711 --> 01:22:59,146
And I'm so sorry for lying.
1972
01:22:59,179 --> 01:23:02,382
But I had a really good time.
1973
01:23:02,416 --> 01:23:03,718
But if we met in real life,
okay?
1974
01:23:03,751 --> 01:23:06,386
On a real date.
Who would you pick?
1975
01:23:06,420 --> 01:23:10,123
Because if it were up to me,
I would pick you in a heartbeat.
1976
01:23:10,157 --> 01:23:13,093
Oh, that is really thoughtful
1977
01:23:13,126 --> 01:23:14,662
and amazing to hear.
1978
01:23:16,063 --> 01:23:18,465
Okay. Well, that settles it.
1979
01:23:18,499 --> 01:23:19,634
Oh my god.
1980
01:23:19,667 --> 01:23:21,435
Huh.
1981
01:23:21,468 --> 01:23:23,036
- Get up, man. Get up.
- Jaclyn, will you marry me?
1982
01:23:23,070 --> 01:23:24,572
-No.
-I don't want our baby to
1983
01:23:24,606 --> 01:23:26,039
enter the world a bastard.
1984
01:23:26,073 --> 01:23:28,141
Yeah, that bastard
could be my kid.
1985
01:23:28,175 --> 01:23:29,476
Huh, let's hope not.
1986
01:23:29,511 --> 01:23:30,645
Points for creativity.
1987
01:23:30,678 --> 01:23:33,280
But legal or not,
this plan is insane.
1988
01:23:33,313 --> 01:23:36,083
Yes, you're right.
It is insane.
1989
01:23:36,116 --> 01:23:37,417
I didn't want to get
pregnant this way.
1990
01:23:37,451 --> 01:23:39,554
I really didn't.
I would love
1991
01:23:39,587 --> 01:23:41,823
to have a baby with a loving
husband.
1992
01:23:41,856 --> 01:23:44,726
And yes, I could adopt
and I could go to a sperm bank.
1993
01:23:44,759 --> 01:23:47,094
But I want to know
who the father is.
1994
01:23:47,127 --> 01:23:49,196
Because one day,
I can look at my child
1995
01:23:49,229 --> 01:23:52,834
and I can say, "Your father
was a kind and decent man."
1996
01:23:52,867 --> 01:23:55,068
And they don't have an app
for that.
1997
01:23:55,102 --> 01:23:56,169
-Oh my god.
-Hmm.
1998
01:23:56,203 --> 01:23:57,104
I came up with this crazy...
1999
01:23:57,137 --> 01:23:58,238
You think what I'm thinking?
2000
01:23:58,272 --> 01:23:59,574
I can get a prototype up in a
month.
2001
01:23:59,607 --> 01:24:01,576
...selfish and a horrible
person.
2002
01:24:01,609 --> 01:24:03,243
And I'm sorry.
2003
01:24:03,277 --> 01:24:06,848
I just wanted to have a baby of
my own. If I still could.
2004
01:24:06,881 --> 01:24:10,250
I mean, god. When you put it
like that, I just-it's-
2005
01:24:10,284 --> 01:24:11,586
Are you insane?
2006
01:24:11,619 --> 01:24:13,153
Are you insane?
2007
01:24:13,186 --> 01:24:14,622
Have you all people
lost your minds?
2008
01:24:15,790 --> 01:24:18,626
This- this woman stole
your sperm.
2009
01:24:19,827 --> 01:24:22,429
She stole your sperm, man.
2010
01:24:22,462 --> 01:24:25,499
She stole your sperm.
She stole your sperm.
2011
01:24:25,533 --> 01:24:26,668
She's a sperm burglar.
2012
01:24:26,701 --> 01:24:28,135
-What?
-Yeah.
2013
01:24:28,168 --> 01:24:29,303
You ask me,
2014
01:24:30,738 --> 01:24:33,508
your ex got off the crazy train
2015
01:24:33,541 --> 01:24:34,542
just in the nick of time.
2016
01:24:35,610 --> 01:24:36,744
Oh!
2017
01:24:38,278 --> 01:24:39,547
God dammit.
2018
01:24:39,581 --> 01:24:40,582
I wanted to do that.
2019
01:24:42,282 --> 01:24:44,619
Oh my god. My water just broke.
2020
01:24:44,652 --> 01:24:45,620
- Oh no!
- Is that all
2021
01:24:45,920 --> 01:24:48,221
-coming from me?
-Baby you're water boarding him.
2022
01:24:48,255 --> 01:24:50,892
-Oh my god.
-It's in my mouth.
2023
01:24:50,925 --> 01:24:53,460
-Salty Brian.
-I think that's gonna stain.
2024
01:24:53,493 --> 01:24:55,897
Oh my god. You have to take me
to the hospital like, now.
2025
01:24:55,930 --> 01:24:58,533
Baby, I'm three tumblers deep
into this scotch here.
2026
01:24:58,566 --> 01:24:59,801
Well, what are you gonna do,
ding-dong?
2027
01:24:59,834 --> 01:25:02,202
I can take you. I can take you.
I got this.
2028
01:25:07,775 --> 01:25:10,210
Isn't there a breathing thing
you could be doing right now?
2029
01:25:10,243 --> 01:25:13,581
Yeah, right. Remember baby,
2030
01:25:13,615 --> 01:25:17,284
-hee-hee-hoooo, hee-hee-hoooo.
-Okay, hee-hee-hoo.
2031
01:25:17,317 --> 01:25:20,855
Fuck you.
I wanna push, it's coming.
2032
01:25:20,888 --> 01:25:22,590
No pushing in the car.
2033
01:25:22,624 --> 01:25:24,358
Jaclyn, we're close, right?
2034
01:25:24,391 --> 01:25:26,293
Yeah, yeah.
Minutes away, minutes away.
2035
01:25:26,326 --> 01:25:27,662
Oh look, look,
put this here.
2036
01:25:27,695 --> 01:25:29,262
You can put that right under
there.
2037
01:25:29,296 --> 01:25:30,765
Squeeze your legs together
real tight.
2038
01:25:30,798 --> 01:25:32,432
Because it's real leather.
2039
01:25:32,466 --> 01:25:34,836
It's real leather.
We paid for this nice leather.
2040
01:25:41,643 --> 01:25:42,844
Get out of the car.
2041
01:25:42,877 --> 01:25:45,445
Get out of the car.
Get out of the car.
2042
01:25:45,479 --> 01:25:46,514
Get out of the car.
2043
01:25:49,483 --> 01:25:50,150
Wait, what's up?
2044
01:25:51,519 --> 01:25:54,287
My dad was a piece of shit
who was never around.
2045
01:25:56,891 --> 01:25:59,794
You have to promise me
you're not gonna be like that.
2046
01:25:59,827 --> 01:26:02,764
I'm never gonna leave you.
Ever.
2047
01:26:03,931 --> 01:26:05,867
Okay? I know you're scared.
2048
01:26:05,900 --> 01:26:08,402
I'm scared too,
but we're a team, okay?
2049
01:26:08,435 --> 01:26:10,504
It's you and me
versus everybody.
2050
01:26:10,538 --> 01:26:11,572
- Okay.
- Okay?
2051
01:26:11,606 --> 01:26:12,807
-Okay.
-Okay?
2052
01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:14,509
-Yeah, yeah.
-You ready to meet our daughter?
2053
01:26:14,542 --> 01:26:15,610
-Yes.
-Come on.
2054
01:26:15,643 --> 01:26:17,578
-Yeah, yeah.
-Let's do it. Let's go.
2055
01:26:17,612 --> 01:26:20,414
- Here's a wheelchair.
- Oh god.
2056
01:26:20,447 --> 01:26:21,415
Easy.
2057
01:26:23,685 --> 01:26:25,787
Okay, now you can push.
2058
01:26:28,321 --> 01:26:31,391
Hee-hee-hoooo, hee-hee-hoooo.
2059
01:26:31,425 --> 01:26:32,760
Hee-hee-hooo.
2060
01:26:34,494 --> 01:26:35,930
Crazy.
2061
01:26:38,365 --> 01:26:40,200
There isn't gonna be
anyone there for me.
2062
01:26:41,468 --> 01:26:44,839
- No.
- I'm gonna be all alone.
2063
01:26:44,872 --> 01:26:48,408
I've got no one by my side,
no one to hold my hand.
2064
01:26:48,442 --> 01:26:50,444
Oh my god.
What have I done?
2065
01:26:50,477 --> 01:26:51,779
I've just been-
2066
01:26:51,813 --> 01:26:54,281
I've just been so focused on
getting pregnant
2067
01:26:54,314 --> 01:26:57,752
that I didn't even think about
how I was gonna raise the kid.
2068
01:26:57,785 --> 01:27:01,823
I mean, why would I choose
to be a single mom?
2069
01:27:01,856 --> 01:27:03,390
This is crazy.
2070
01:27:03,423 --> 01:27:04,826
This is something we
should have thought about
2071
01:27:04,859 --> 01:27:06,728
like, three hours ago.
2072
01:27:06,761 --> 01:27:08,863
Hold up.
I was raised by a single mother.
2073
01:27:08,896 --> 01:27:10,665
-And I'm the shit.
-Yes.
2074
01:27:10,698 --> 01:27:13,000
I don't know that I'm
gonna be a good mom.
2075
01:27:13,034 --> 01:27:15,368
Hey, I do. I know you're gonna
be a good mom.
2076
01:27:15,402 --> 01:27:17,304
-Yes.
-No, you don't know that.
2077
01:27:17,337 --> 01:27:18,506
-I do.
-No, you don't.
2078
01:27:18,539 --> 01:27:20,373
Forget about all the therapy
2079
01:27:20,407 --> 01:27:21,542
that the kid is going to
have to have
2080
01:27:21,576 --> 01:27:24,444
after he finds out
how I got pregnant.
2081
01:27:24,478 --> 01:27:26,647
I mean Goeff and I,
we always saw it's a good day
2082
01:27:26,681 --> 01:27:29,784
if we only added 15 minutes
to our kids' therapy.
2083
01:27:29,817 --> 01:27:31,786
Yeah, but you guys
have each other.
2084
01:27:31,819 --> 01:27:35,489
I've just got myself.
And I'm no picnic, guys.
2085
01:27:35,523 --> 01:27:38,526
You know that.
I mean, what if I ruin this kid?
2086
01:27:38,559 --> 01:27:40,561
I won't let you.
You need to tap out.
2087
01:27:40,595 --> 01:27:41,662
I'm there, boom.
2088
01:27:41,696 --> 01:27:42,864
Yeah, me too.
2089
01:27:42,897 --> 01:27:44,397
If you need to tap out,
2090
01:27:44,431 --> 01:27:47,501
I'm totally gonna pay
for a babysitter for you.
2091
01:27:49,537 --> 01:27:52,073
Y'all like the straight white
sisters I never had.
2092
01:27:52,106 --> 01:27:53,674
Are you serious?
2093
01:27:55,643 --> 01:27:56,978
I love you guys so much.
2094
01:27:57,011 --> 01:27:58,746
I love you.
2095
01:27:58,780 --> 01:28:01,849
Ladies, this zone is for
loading and unloading only.
2096
01:28:01,883 --> 01:28:03,383
- Okay, just a minute.
- I'm gonna need you to
2097
01:28:03,416 --> 01:28:05,052
move your car or I'll have
to impound your vehicle.
2098
01:28:09,590 --> 01:28:11,092
-Okay.
-Okay.
2099
01:28:11,125 --> 01:28:12,693
Take me home
2100
01:28:12,727 --> 01:28:14,796
so I can give the birthday boy
the ride of his life.
2101
01:28:14,829 --> 01:28:16,964
Because he has definitely
earned it.
2102
01:28:16,998 --> 01:28:18,465
-Yes.
-And I'm gonna go sit on
2103
01:28:18,498 --> 01:28:19,466
his sister's face because I've
earned it.
2104
01:28:23,571 --> 01:28:24,872
- I love you guys.
- I love you.
2105
01:28:24,906 --> 01:28:26,507
Thank you.
2106
01:28:26,541 --> 01:28:28,810
I mean and who knows
this is even gonna work, right?
2107
01:28:28,843 --> 01:28:31,012
- What are the odds?
- I mean...
2108
01:28:31,045 --> 01:28:32,580
It's just gonna be
a little cold.
2109
01:28:32,613 --> 01:28:33,848
There you go.
2110
01:28:37,885 --> 01:28:39,987
-There's the heartbeat.
-Oh my god.
2111
01:28:41,454 --> 01:28:43,356
Do you mind just
holding still? Thank you.
2112
01:28:44,692 --> 01:28:45,693
Oh, hold on.
2113
01:28:46,961 --> 01:28:49,496
I think I see another.
2114
01:28:49,530 --> 01:28:50,665
What?
2115
01:28:50,698 --> 01:28:53,534
Okay, one.
2116
01:28:53,568 --> 01:28:56,537
There's two.
2117
01:28:56,571 --> 01:28:58,840
And yap, that's three.
2118
01:28:58,873 --> 01:29:01,474
Congratulations,
you're having triplets.
2119
01:29:01,509 --> 01:29:02,710
What?
2120
01:29:04,745 --> 01:29:07,148
Yay, three babies.
2121
01:29:07,181 --> 01:29:09,917
Damn, you really are
a sperm burglar.
2122
01:29:09,951 --> 01:29:11,686
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
2123
01:29:16,123 --> 01:29:17,859
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
2124
01:29:25,465 --> 01:29:27,068
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
2125
01:29:31,539 --> 01:29:33,074
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
2126
01:29:33,107 --> 01:29:34,175
♪ Aye, daddy, daddy ♪
2127
01:29:34,208 --> 01:29:35,943
♪ Why don't you head my way ♪
2128
01:29:35,977 --> 01:29:37,778
♪ Let's get lost in a new
dimension ♪
2129
01:29:37,812 --> 01:29:39,180
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
2130
01:29:39,213 --> 01:29:40,581
♪ Aye, daddy, daddy ♪
2131
01:29:40,615 --> 01:29:42,049
♪ Why don't you come say "Hey" ♪
2132
01:29:42,083 --> 01:29:44,384
♪ So desperate
for your whole attention ♪
2133
01:29:45,485 --> 01:29:46,787
♪ Cause we livin' up this life ♪
2134
01:29:46,821 --> 01:29:48,689
♪ So don't you leave now ♪
2135
01:29:48,723 --> 01:29:50,024
♪ I just got to know
you better ♪
2136
01:29:50,057 --> 01:29:51,525
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
2137
01:29:51,559 --> 01:29:52,960
♪ We livin' our best life ♪
2138
01:29:52,994 --> 01:29:54,829
♪ So don't you go now ♪
2139
01:29:54,862 --> 01:29:56,163
♪ I just got to
hold you better ♪
2140
01:29:57,932 --> 01:30:00,868
♪ We need the drinks
to go down, down ♪
2141
01:30:00,902 --> 01:30:03,938
♪ Need a beat to get down,
down ♪
2142
01:30:03,971 --> 01:30:07,008
♪ Baby, let's get out and
knocked down, down ♪
2143
01:30:07,041 --> 01:30:10,011
♪ We need the drinks
to go down, down ♪
2144
01:30:10,044 --> 01:30:11,545
♪ Yeah ♪
2145
01:30:11,579 --> 01:30:13,180
♪ Ya-Ya ♪
2146
01:30:13,214 --> 01:30:15,049
♪ We need the drinks
to go down ♪
2147
01:30:15,082 --> 01:30:16,117
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
2148
01:30:17,685 --> 01:30:19,120
♪ Down, down ♪
2149
01:30:19,153 --> 01:30:21,522
♪ We need the drinks
to go down ♪
2150
01:30:22,957 --> 01:30:25,526
Shirtless chef today, we're
risking it to win a biscuit.
2151
01:30:25,559 --> 01:30:28,062
We're making a pinapple chicken
breast brine.
2152
01:30:28,095 --> 01:30:29,931
Let's see how it turns out,
we've never done this before.
2153
01:30:29,964 --> 01:30:30,998
Boom!
2154
01:30:31,032 --> 01:30:33,534
One pound organic chicken
breast,
2155
01:30:33,567 --> 01:30:35,136
one cup pineapple juice,
2156
01:30:35,169 --> 01:30:38,572
table spoon of salt and mix it.
2157
01:30:38,606 --> 01:30:40,608
Mix garlic,
2158
01:30:40,641 --> 01:30:42,475
table spoon smoked peprica.
2159
01:30:42,510 --> 01:30:43,978
Brine for two hours.
2160
01:30:45,613 --> 01:30:48,549
Stir both sides with a little
avocado oil.
2161
01:30:48,582 --> 01:30:50,718
Bake at 450 for 20
to 25 minutes.
2162
01:30:50,751 --> 01:30:52,253
Work out while you wait.
2163
01:30:52,286 --> 01:30:54,487
Boom! Boom!
2164
01:30:55,923 --> 01:30:58,491
Delicious.
We just invented a new recipe.
2165
01:30:58,526 --> 01:31:00,628
Boom! That's shirtless kitchen
baby.
2166
01:33:11,926 --> 01:33:13,160
What did I miss?
153560
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