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1
00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:56,087
LOUIE ( over speaker ):
Resnick, you got cab 529.
2
00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:57,872
Capasso...
3
00:00:57,906 --> 00:00:59,874
cab 111.
4
00:00:59,908 --> 00:01:00,942
Come on, let's
get out of here
5
00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:02,243
and get some breakfast.
I'm hungry.
6
00:01:02,278 --> 00:01:03,378
Good idea.
Let's go.
7
00:01:03,412 --> 00:01:04,946
Hey, listen, Louie,
when Alex comes in
8
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,781
would you just tell him
we're at Mario's?
9
00:01:06,815 --> 00:01:08,800
He won't be in for a while.
10
00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:11,035
Hamill, 120.
11
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:11,803
How come?
12
00:01:11,837 --> 00:01:13,170
He got shot.
13
00:01:13,205 --> 00:01:15,223
What?!
De la
Grazzi...
14
00:01:15,257 --> 00:01:16,491
829.
What do you mean,
15
00:01:16,525 --> 00:01:17,858
he got shot, Louie?
16
00:01:17,893 --> 00:01:18,776
What happened?
17
00:01:18,810 --> 00:01:20,945
Some guy robbed him
and shot him.
18
00:01:20,979 --> 00:01:22,480
Lucia, 338.
19
00:01:22,514 --> 00:01:24,582
For God's sakes,
Louie, where is he?
20
00:01:24,616 --> 00:01:26,284
Is he all right?
Is he alive?
21
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,620
Last time I talked to him,
he was.
22
00:01:28,654 --> 00:01:30,488
They took him to Mt. Sinai.
23
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,123
Liebowitz, 226.
24
00:01:32,157 --> 00:01:33,791
Louie, how can you just
sit there like that?
25
00:01:33,826 --> 00:01:35,560
I mean, come on!
Don't you care about Alex?
26
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:36,928
Aren't you worried about him?
27
00:01:36,962 --> 00:01:38,663
Of course I care about him.
28
00:01:38,697 --> 00:01:41,165
What kind of heel
you think I am?
29
00:01:41,199 --> 00:01:43,134
Drago, 829.
30
00:01:43,168 --> 00:01:44,469
Come on, let's go to
the hospital. Come on.
31
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:45,487
( indistinct voices )
32
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:46,871
You're a
sick person.
33
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:49,724
JOHN:
Huh. Hey. What are
you doing here?
34
00:01:49,758 --> 00:01:50,675
Huh?
Louie said
you got shot.
35
00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:52,510
Yeah, I did.
36
00:01:52,544 --> 00:01:53,778
Well, are you okay?
37
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:55,980
Huh?
Are you okay?
38
00:01:56,014 --> 00:01:58,199
Of course he's okay.
The bullet just nicked his ear.
39
00:01:58,233 --> 00:02:00,368
Yeah, it was just a scratch.
I'm fine, really.
40
00:02:01,303 --> 00:02:02,487
That's all?
41
00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:04,555
Oh, the doctor said that since
the gun went off
42
00:02:04,590 --> 00:02:06,091
close to my ear,
that I might have
43
00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:08,059
a little trouble hearing
every now and then.
44
00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:09,794
But I don't seem
to notice anything.
45
00:02:09,828 --> 00:02:11,529
So, there's nothing else wrong?
46
00:02:11,563 --> 00:02:12,813
Huh? No, it didn't take long.
47
00:02:12,848 --> 00:02:14,749
He just put a bandage here
and let me go.
48
00:02:14,783 --> 00:02:15,883
It's okay.
49
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:17,585
Boy, you were
really lucky.
50
00:02:17,619 --> 00:02:19,187
I'll say.
BOBBY:
Yeah.
51
00:02:19,221 --> 00:02:19,938
What?
52
00:02:23,225 --> 00:02:25,360
Boy, you were
really lucky.
53
00:02:26,528 --> 00:02:27,528
I'll say.
54
00:02:27,563 --> 00:02:28,763
Oh.
55
00:02:28,797 --> 00:02:29,864
Yeah.
56
00:02:30,866 --> 00:02:32,967
Yeah, yeah, it
was really crazy.
57
00:02:33,001 --> 00:02:34,085
You know, I-I just let
this guy off,
58
00:02:34,119 --> 00:02:35,954
and all of a sudden,
he sticks a gun in my face.
59
00:02:35,988 --> 00:02:37,655
Oh...
He asked me to give
him all my money.
60
00:02:37,689 --> 00:02:39,657
I told him that most of it
was locked in a strongbox
61
00:02:39,691 --> 00:02:40,725
and I didn't have the key.
62
00:02:40,759 --> 00:02:42,126
He didn't buy that.
63
00:02:42,161 --> 00:02:43,895
So, uh... then I heard him
cock the gun.
64
00:02:43,929 --> 00:02:46,530
I mean, I really got frightened.
I didn't know what to do.
65
00:02:46,565 --> 00:02:49,100
So, I stepped on the gas,
the gun went off, and, zing.
66
00:02:49,134 --> 00:02:50,919
You know.
That is scary.
67
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,987
Boy, you read about these things
happening all the time,
68
00:02:53,022 --> 00:02:55,123
but you never think
it's going to happen to you.
69
00:02:55,157 --> 00:02:57,675
What makes you think
it was a Jew?
70
00:03:03,365 --> 00:03:05,967
Oh, uh, just a hunch.
71
00:03:07,470 --> 00:03:10,004
Well, listen, I-I'm going
to go home and get some sleep.
72
00:03:10,038 --> 00:03:11,439
I'll see you guys later, okay?
73
00:03:11,474 --> 00:03:12,723
Okay. Alex?
Yeah, take it
easy, man.
74
00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:14,192
You know what?
Don't come in tomorrow.
75
00:03:14,226 --> 00:03:15,393
I mean, why don't you just
76
00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:16,727
take a couple days off?
77
00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:18,162
You know, rest, relax.
78
00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:20,131
Oh, thanks.
I got them on sale.
79
00:03:20,165 --> 00:03:21,632
You like them?
80
00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:23,685
Huh?
Alex?
81
00:03:23,719 --> 00:03:25,820
Yeah?
Why don't you take
a couple days off?
82
00:03:25,855 --> 00:03:28,105
I mean, an experience
like this has got to
have an effect on you.
83
00:03:28,139 --> 00:03:29,424
No, no, no, no.
I'm fine, Elaine.
84
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,092
I really am.
You know the old saying--
85
00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:33,361
you fall off a horse, you
got to get right back on.
86
00:03:33,395 --> 00:03:35,597
Yeah, but I don't know
if the same old saying applies
87
00:03:35,631 --> 00:03:36,797
to getting shotoff a horse.
88
00:03:36,832 --> 00:03:38,933
Oh, Elaine, I'm okay.
Really, I'm okay.
Believe me.
89
00:03:38,967 --> 00:03:41,152
Hey-hey, Alex, did you
get a good look
90
00:03:41,186 --> 00:03:42,587
at the guy
who shot you?
91
00:03:42,621 --> 00:03:44,355
Oh, all I saw
was his big gun.
92
00:03:44,389 --> 00:03:47,358
Oh, yeah, he had a word
tattooed across his fist--
93
00:03:47,392 --> 00:03:49,661
"kill."
94
00:03:49,695 --> 00:03:52,747
Never, never pick up
95
00:03:52,782 --> 00:03:55,183
any people with tattoos.
96
00:03:55,217 --> 00:03:56,517
That's a
cardinal rule.
97
00:03:56,552 --> 00:04:00,955
They're all morons,
maniacs and lowlifes.
98
00:04:00,989 --> 00:04:03,307
Hey, Louie, I got a tattoo.
99
00:04:03,341 --> 00:04:05,660
Oh, yeah, and losers.
100
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:17,004
LOUIE ( over dispatch ):
Hey, Alex.
101
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:18,640
Yeah, Louie?
102
00:04:18,674 --> 00:04:20,291
You all right?
103
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:21,626
Yeah, sure, Louie.
104
00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:22,960
Are you certain?
105
00:04:22,995 --> 00:04:24,462
No, it's not
hurting a bit.
106
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:27,132
I'm okay.
107
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,867
Look, Alex, I know you must be
feeling a little nervous
108
00:04:29,901 --> 00:04:31,869
after what happened last night,
109
00:04:31,903 --> 00:04:34,639
so I don't want you
to feel any pressure.
110
00:04:34,673 --> 00:04:37,575
Don't pick up anybody
who don't look right to you
111
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,277
and stay out of
the bad neighborhoods.
112
00:04:40,312 --> 00:04:43,331
If you don't book so good,
it don't matter to me.
113
00:04:43,365 --> 00:04:45,666
Well, thanks, Louie.
114
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:48,602
All right, Nardo,
I read your crummy speech.
115
00:04:48,637 --> 00:04:50,538
Now where's my five dollars?
116
00:04:51,873 --> 00:04:54,909
Uh, look, Elaine, Elaine,
please don't worry about me.
117
00:04:54,943 --> 00:04:56,944
It's no big deal, huh?
118
00:05:00,382 --> 00:05:02,000
MAN:
Taxi!
119
00:05:04,319 --> 00:05:06,153
Sorry, off duty.
120
00:05:07,490 --> 00:05:09,190
I'll pick up the next one.
121
00:05:09,224 --> 00:05:10,625
MAN #2:
Cab!
122
00:05:12,327 --> 00:05:15,930
Next one that doesn't have
a safety pin through his nose.
123
00:05:19,668 --> 00:05:21,002
MAN #3:
Taxi!
124
00:05:28,176 --> 00:05:29,977
Good evening, Father.
125
00:05:30,012 --> 00:05:33,465
Front Street
by Pier Six, please.
126
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,266
What church is down there?
127
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:36,534
I don't know.
128
00:05:36,568 --> 00:05:38,319
I-I don't think there is one.
129
00:05:39,521 --> 00:05:42,139
That's a pretty desolate
area at night.
130
00:05:42,174 --> 00:05:44,342
Guess you must have
your reasons
131
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:45,810
for going there, huh?
132
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,679
Uh-huh.
133
00:05:51,016 --> 00:05:53,785
You seem sort of, uh,
young to be a priest.
134
00:05:53,819 --> 00:05:55,286
You been one long?
135
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,521
Uh-uh.
136
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,093
Uh, Louie, this is
Alex, listen...
137
00:06:02,127 --> 00:06:04,796
I'm busy!
Call back in an hour.
138
00:06:06,131 --> 00:06:07,599
That's my dispatcher.
139
00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:10,668
We keep in constant contact
here, you know.
140
00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:19,860
( chuckling nervously )
141
00:06:19,895 --> 00:06:23,364
You know... say, a couple of
guys down at the garage and I
142
00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:25,667
were having this little
argument, you know.
143
00:06:25,701 --> 00:06:28,836
Maybe you can clear it up
for me, uh, Father.
144
00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:30,938
Um... yeah, we had
this big fight
145
00:06:30,972 --> 00:06:34,609
about who the 12 Apostles were,
and, uh, I figured, uh...
146
00:06:34,643 --> 00:06:37,378
you being a priest,
why, you'd know, right?
147
00:06:37,413 --> 00:06:39,980
You had a fight
over the 12 Apostles?
148
00:06:40,015 --> 00:06:41,382
( laughs )
149
00:06:41,417 --> 00:06:42,883
Yeah.
150
00:06:42,918 --> 00:06:45,353
I bet you could
rattle off their names
151
00:06:45,387 --> 00:06:46,421
in nothing flat.
152
00:06:46,455 --> 00:06:48,556
Would you do that
for me, Father?
153
00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:52,026
Rattle them off in nothing flat?
154
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:55,262
I suppose so,
if you like.
155
00:06:55,297 --> 00:06:56,798
Uh, let's see...
156
00:06:56,832 --> 00:07:00,334
uh, Peter, Matthew,
Judas, Andrew...
157
00:07:00,369 --> 00:07:03,687
James the younger,
James the elder,
158
00:07:03,722 --> 00:07:06,156
Bartholomew... Simon...
159
00:07:06,191 --> 00:07:07,558
That's eight.
160
00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:10,611
John.
161
00:07:10,645 --> 00:07:13,230
Do you really need
to know this?
162
00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:15,032
It would mean
a lot to me
163
00:07:15,066 --> 00:07:17,669
and the guys at
the garage... Father.
164
00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:20,338
Thomas and Jude.
165
00:07:20,372 --> 00:07:22,807
One more.
166
00:07:22,841 --> 00:07:24,758
Did I say Andrew?
167
00:07:24,793 --> 00:07:26,994
Yeah, you said Andrew already.
168
00:07:28,146 --> 00:07:29,897
Well, it's not Sneezy.
169
00:07:34,202 --> 00:07:37,672
No, I don't think
it is Sneezy.
170
00:07:38,674 --> 00:07:40,842
I'm sorry,
I don't remember.
171
00:07:42,277 --> 00:07:43,394
( tires squeal )
172
00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:45,062
All right, get
out of the cab!
What?
173
00:07:45,096 --> 00:07:46,831
I said get out of the cab!
Get out of the cab!
174
00:07:46,865 --> 00:07:48,633
Try it on some other sucker.
Get out of here...
175
00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:50,134
I'll call the cops!
I'll call the cops!
176
00:07:50,168 --> 00:07:52,704
( engine revving )
177
00:07:54,606 --> 00:07:56,607
Wow, that was a close one.
178
00:08:10,622 --> 00:08:12,023
Boy, that's really something.
179
00:08:12,057 --> 00:08:13,391
Everybody's
totally paranoid
180
00:08:13,425 --> 00:08:15,293
after what happened
to Alex last night.
181
00:08:15,327 --> 00:08:17,595
They're all stealing
Latka's tools for weapons.
182
00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:18,596
It's crazy.
183
00:08:18,630 --> 00:08:19,930
What'd you get?
184
00:08:19,965 --> 00:08:21,132
A wrench.
185
00:08:22,334 --> 00:08:23,701
Uh, in my opinion,
186
00:08:23,735 --> 00:08:25,769
the best weapon is
reasonable communication.
187
00:08:25,804 --> 00:08:27,671
The tongue is mightier
than the sword.
188
00:08:27,706 --> 00:08:30,974
Talk like that's a good way
to get your tongue cut off.
189
00:08:31,009 --> 00:08:32,259
I heard about this guy once
190
00:08:32,293 --> 00:08:34,729
who faked a heart attack
while he was getting mugged.
191
00:08:34,763 --> 00:08:35,930
Scared the mugger off.
192
00:08:35,964 --> 00:08:36,998
You know, I could do that.
193
00:08:37,032 --> 00:08:39,266
Uh, you'd have to be
pretty convincing.
194
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,501
Hey, I'm an actor, man.
195
00:08:40,535 --> 00:08:42,837
You know, I can convince anybody
of anything, you know.
196
00:08:42,871 --> 00:08:45,273
Yeah?
Yeah, you want to see
a heart attack?
197
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:46,841
ELAINE:
Yeah.
198
00:08:46,875 --> 00:08:48,709
All right.
Okay, heart attack.
199
00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:52,746
( gulps )
200
00:08:52,781 --> 00:08:53,881
Oh...
201
00:08:53,916 --> 00:08:57,018
( gasping )
202
00:09:00,372 --> 00:09:02,139
What's the matter
with you?
203
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,776
( gasping ):
I'm having a heart attack.
204
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:05,660
Well, have it somewheres else.
205
00:09:05,694 --> 00:09:07,227
I could've tripped
and broke my neck.
206
00:09:14,469 --> 00:09:16,570
See? I convinced him.
207
00:09:16,605 --> 00:09:18,389
Yeah.
Play some rummy?
208
00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:19,423
Yeah. Let me get my...
209
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:20,592
Hi, Alex.
210
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:21,626
Hey, Alex, how's
your ear?
211
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:23,327
How do you feel?
212
00:09:23,361 --> 00:09:25,279
( indistinct voices )
213
00:09:29,284 --> 00:09:31,552
You booked
absolutely nothing?
214
00:09:32,221 --> 00:09:34,104
That's not too good, Alex.
215
00:09:34,139 --> 00:09:35,807
I quit.
216
00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:37,424
You're not used to criticism,
are you?
217
00:09:39,411 --> 00:09:42,746
Look, Louie, I had a lot of time
to think about this last night.
218
00:09:42,781 --> 00:09:45,349
I see you had a lot of time.
219
00:09:45,383 --> 00:09:47,201
I don't want
to drive a cab anymore.
220
00:09:47,235 --> 00:09:48,186
Alex... Alex!
221
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:49,554
Huh?
222
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:50,955
Come in here.
223
00:09:50,989 --> 00:09:52,090
What do you want?
224
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:53,157
Come over here.
225
00:09:56,161 --> 00:09:57,962
What are you
talking about?
226
00:09:57,996 --> 00:09:59,130
You can't quit.
227
00:09:59,164 --> 00:10:00,864
You're my best booker.
228
00:10:00,899 --> 00:10:02,683
Louie, I almost got
killed the other night.
229
00:10:02,717 --> 00:10:05,953
One guy out of a city
of eight million
230
00:10:05,987 --> 00:10:08,689
tries to blow your brains out,
231
00:10:08,724 --> 00:10:11,558
you want to make
a federal case out of it.
232
00:10:11,593 --> 00:10:13,861
Now look, Louie,
I'm serious. I quit.
233
00:10:20,018 --> 00:10:24,155
Rieger, you leave,
it's costing me a lot of money.
234
00:10:24,189 --> 00:10:25,923
Ah! But that doesn't matter.
235
00:10:25,957 --> 00:10:27,741
Because who cares
about money
236
00:10:27,776 --> 00:10:30,545
when people's personal feelings
are involved?
237
00:10:30,579 --> 00:10:31,912
( chuckles )
238
00:10:31,947 --> 00:10:34,882
Now, how's this going to affect
your fellow drivers?
239
00:10:34,917 --> 00:10:38,352
Next to me, they look up to you
more than anyone else in here.
240
00:10:38,386 --> 00:10:40,904
Now, how are you going to
break the news to them?
241
00:10:40,939 --> 00:10:43,707
I don't know. I thought I'd
do something like this.
242
00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:47,061
Hey, everybody,
I'm quitting.
243
00:10:47,096 --> 00:10:47,845
What?!
What for?
244
00:10:47,879 --> 00:10:49,630
What are you
talking about
What do you mean?
245
00:10:49,665 --> 00:10:50,898
Well, it's very simple.
I'm scared.
246
00:10:50,933 --> 00:10:52,132
Well, sure,
you're a
little scared.
247
00:10:52,167 --> 00:10:53,801
I mean, after
what happened
the other night...
248
00:10:53,835 --> 00:10:56,237
No, John, I'm not
just a little scared.
249
00:10:56,271 --> 00:10:58,339
I'm a little scared
of spiders and snakes,
250
00:10:58,373 --> 00:11:00,041
but driving a cab terrifies me.
251
00:11:00,075 --> 00:11:01,108
Well, what about what you said
252
00:11:01,142 --> 00:11:02,376
about climbing back
on the horse?
253
00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:04,962
Yeah, well, me and Old Paint
didn't book a dime last night.
254
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,563
Alex, listen, I can
really understand
255
00:11:06,598 --> 00:11:08,966
what you're going through,
but quitting, man, is crazy.
256
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,267
Well, picking up
total strangers
257
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:11,335
in the middle
of the night
258
00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:12,903
and driving
wherever they tell you to
259
00:11:12,937 --> 00:11:14,171
isn't exactly sane.
260
00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:15,272
Who does that?
261
00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:18,042
We do.
262
00:11:18,076 --> 00:11:19,176
Oh, yeah.
263
00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:22,880
Quitting!
264
00:11:22,914 --> 00:11:25,449
The man is quitting.
265
00:11:25,483 --> 00:11:29,253
Well, maybe I'm using
the word "man" too loosely.
266
00:11:30,655 --> 00:11:33,891
You're a lily-livered,
yellow-bellied,
267
00:11:33,925 --> 00:11:38,062
namby-pamby,
mealymouth chicken!
268
00:11:41,066 --> 00:11:42,700
You're right, Louie.
269
00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:45,503
Can't reason with the guy.
270
00:11:45,537 --> 00:11:47,555
I still don't believe
what I'm hearing.
271
00:11:47,589 --> 00:11:49,990
Alex, you've been driving
a cab for ten years.
272
00:11:50,025 --> 00:11:52,193
What are you going to
do if you quit, huh?
273
00:11:52,227 --> 00:11:54,162
There are a lot of things
I could do.
274
00:11:54,196 --> 00:11:55,163
Yeah, like what?
275
00:11:55,197 --> 00:11:56,564
I used to be
an upholsterer.
276
00:11:56,598 --> 00:11:58,132
I could go back
to doing that.
277
00:11:58,167 --> 00:11:59,133
Oh, whoopie-doo.
278
00:11:59,168 --> 00:12:00,201
Tending bar--
279
00:12:00,235 --> 00:12:01,602
I did that for a while.
280
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,771
Yeah, well, they get
held up, too, you know.
281
00:12:03,805 --> 00:12:05,839
I was a waiter once.
That's a possibility.
282
00:12:05,874 --> 00:12:07,475
Oh, exciting.
283
00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:09,293
You could make cheese.
284
00:12:09,327 --> 00:12:11,112
Why would I want
to do that?
285
00:12:11,146 --> 00:12:12,663
Somebody has to.
286
00:12:14,099 --> 00:12:15,966
Yeah, good point.
287
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,802
Look, I'm not worried
about finding a job.
288
00:12:18,836 --> 00:12:21,305
Yeah, but Alex,
you like driving.
289
00:12:21,339 --> 00:12:22,473
Well, who wouldn't?
290
00:12:22,507 --> 00:12:23,808
It's a great job.
291
00:12:23,842 --> 00:12:25,709
You're outside cruising
in the fresh air.
292
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,878
You wear what you want,
you work when you want.
293
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,947
It's the kind of job
you can really make out
294
00:12:29,981 --> 00:12:31,281
without killing yourself.
295
00:12:31,316 --> 00:12:33,450
Yeah, somebody else
will do that for you.
296
00:12:33,485 --> 00:12:35,486
Look, I've thought about this
a lot,
297
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,321
and I've come to the conclusion
298
00:12:37,355 --> 00:12:39,757
my life is worth more
than 55 cents a mile.
299
00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:42,526
Now, I can't handle it anymore,
and that's it.
300
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,012
Wow, we're all
really going
to miss you.
301
00:12:45,047 --> 00:12:46,980
Yeah, it's...
it's going to be
302
00:12:47,015 --> 00:12:48,516
weird around here
without you.
303
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:49,883
It sure is.
304
00:12:52,387 --> 00:12:55,322
Hey, come on,
we'll keep in touch.
305
00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,358
I'll drop by, you'll drop by.
306
00:12:57,392 --> 00:12:58,659
I mean, you know how it goes.
307
00:12:58,693 --> 00:13:00,361
I mean, a guy leaves
the neighborhood,
308
00:13:00,395 --> 00:13:02,563
you see him more
than when he lived next door.
309
00:13:02,597 --> 00:13:03,347
You know that.
310
00:13:03,381 --> 00:13:04,565
Yeah, sure.
311
00:13:04,599 --> 00:13:06,267
Yeah, we'll still
be tight, right?
312
00:13:06,301 --> 00:13:07,368
Sure.
313
00:13:07,402 --> 00:13:08,052
Right.
314
00:13:08,086 --> 00:13:09,419
Right.
315
00:13:09,454 --> 00:13:12,373
Okay.
316
00:13:12,407 --> 00:13:14,257
I, uh...
Oh...
317
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,612
Please!
318
00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:58,202
I'm going to hate
myself in the morning.
319
00:13:58,236 --> 00:14:00,171
Well, I guess I'll see you...
320
00:14:00,205 --> 00:14:01,238
Okay.
321
00:14:14,369 --> 00:14:16,370
( snaps fingers )
322
00:14:21,109 --> 00:14:22,643
Are we ready
to order?
323
00:14:22,677 --> 00:14:23,644
I think so.
324
00:14:23,678 --> 00:14:25,212
Uh, how's
your escargot?
325
00:14:25,247 --> 00:14:27,531
My car goes fine,
why do you ask?
326
00:14:28,483 --> 00:14:31,185
Is there something wrong
with your hearing?
327
00:14:31,219 --> 00:14:32,853
I'm sorry,
we don't serve herring,
328
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:34,555
but I can recommend
the escargot.
329
00:14:36,074 --> 00:14:38,041
Fine, uh, just
bring us those,
330
00:14:38,076 --> 00:14:40,578
and we'll decide
on our entree later.
331
00:14:40,612 --> 00:14:42,112
Very good, sir.
332
00:14:50,355 --> 00:14:53,324
Wow, Alex said he was working
at a posh place,
333
00:14:53,358 --> 00:14:55,926
but I never expected
anything like this.
334
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,127
Good evening.
335
00:14:57,161 --> 00:14:59,896
Yes, reservations
for Dr. Wheeler.
336
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:03,700
Ah, yes, Dr. Wheeler,
party of four, yes?
337
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:04,868
Yes.
338
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:05,869
Follow me... Doctor.
339
00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:07,138
I'll show you
to your table.
340
00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:10,474
Dr. Wheeler?
341
00:15:10,508 --> 00:15:12,609
Well, it's easier
to get reservations
342
00:15:12,644 --> 00:15:15,646
at joints like this
if they think
you're a doctor.
343
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,066
So, uh, how'd that heart job
go this morning, Doc?
344
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:21,202
Madame.
345
00:15:22,737 --> 00:15:24,037
Bon appetit.
346
00:15:24,072 --> 00:15:25,339
Merci.
347
00:15:25,373 --> 00:15:26,056
Touché.
348
00:15:28,126 --> 00:15:29,994
Will you stop trying
to embarrass me, huh?
349
00:15:30,028 --> 00:15:30,827
What did I do?
350
00:15:30,861 --> 00:15:31,678
What do you...?
351
00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:32,963
Hey, look at all
the silverware
352
00:15:32,997 --> 00:15:34,465
they give you here.
Isn't this great?
353
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:38,035
Good evening.
354
00:15:38,069 --> 00:15:39,036
My name is Richard.
355
00:15:39,070 --> 00:15:40,771
I'll be serving you
this evening.
356
00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:42,606
Are you the waiter
for this table?
357
00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:43,807
Yes.
358
00:15:43,842 --> 00:15:45,492
Then we'd like to sit
somewhere else.
359
00:15:46,495 --> 00:15:47,644
Excuse me.
360
00:15:47,678 --> 00:15:49,580
Um, I'm sure
you're an excellent waiter.
361
00:15:49,614 --> 00:15:51,115
However, we know another waiter
362
00:15:51,149 --> 00:15:53,617
from the establishment
at which he worked formerly.
363
00:15:53,651 --> 00:15:55,219
And, um,
Alex Rieger is his name.
364
00:15:55,253 --> 00:15:58,222
We would very much like
for him to serve us.
365
00:15:58,256 --> 00:16:00,357
I hope you understand.
366
00:16:00,391 --> 00:16:02,959
Not entirely.
367
00:16:02,994 --> 00:16:04,461
But I'll get him.
368
00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:06,196
Oh, thank you
so much.
369
00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:09,733
Why am I talking
like the Queen of England?
370
00:16:11,769 --> 00:16:13,136
Hey, you know, I've been
371
00:16:13,171 --> 00:16:15,172
to some pretty great places
in my life,
372
00:16:15,206 --> 00:16:16,907
but this place beats them all.
373
00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:18,208
There ain't even no gum
374
00:16:18,242 --> 00:16:19,142
stuck to this table.
375
00:16:19,177 --> 00:16:20,294
Will you put it...?
376
00:16:22,663 --> 00:16:24,765
Uh, good evening.
My name is Alex.
377
00:16:24,799 --> 00:16:26,333
Hey, Alex!
Oh!
Hi, Alex!
378
00:16:26,368 --> 00:16:28,202
You look
really terrific.
Do I? huh?
379
00:16:28,236 --> 00:16:30,437
Oh, yeah,
cummerbunds become you.
380
00:16:30,471 --> 00:16:32,106
Here, pull up
a chair.
381
00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:33,507
Oh, no, thanks, Tony, I can't.
382
00:16:33,541 --> 00:16:35,041
I have six tables
to take care of.
383
00:16:35,076 --> 00:16:37,511
I have to be kind of mobile,
if you know what I mean.
384
00:16:37,545 --> 00:16:39,062
Well, we just thought
we'd stop by,
385
00:16:39,096 --> 00:16:40,897
you know, say hello,
and have a bite.
386
00:16:40,931 --> 00:16:42,783
Yes, it's really great
to see you people.
387
00:16:42,818 --> 00:16:45,152
Um, like me to get you
something to drink?
388
00:16:45,186 --> 00:16:46,369
Yeah, I'd love a brew.
389
00:16:46,404 --> 00:16:48,088
Oh.
390
00:16:48,122 --> 00:16:49,423
So, how's it going?
391
00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:50,591
Very well, Tony.
Very well.
392
00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:53,060
Listen, why don't I buy you
a bottle of wine, huh?
393
00:16:53,094 --> 00:16:53,877
What do you say?
394
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:55,129
Oh...
Oh...
395
00:16:55,163 --> 00:16:56,896
Hey...
What do you like?
Red? White? Rosé?
396
00:16:56,931 --> 00:16:59,032
White rosé would be great.
397
00:17:02,437 --> 00:17:04,571
Okay.
An excellent choice, Tony.
398
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:05,923
Yeah, and bring some peanuts.
399
00:17:05,957 --> 00:17:07,108
Right.
400
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:10,244
I can't believe
Alex is doing this.
401
00:17:10,278 --> 00:17:12,413
It's hard to keep
a straight face.
402
00:17:12,447 --> 00:17:14,881
He seems to like it
here okay, huh?
403
00:17:14,916 --> 00:17:16,783
Yeah.
404
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,619
Wow, he must be
cleaning up.
405
00:17:18,653 --> 00:17:22,423
15% of the price of a cup
of coffee is a great tip.
406
00:17:22,457 --> 00:17:23,740
Hmm!
407
00:17:23,775 --> 00:17:25,876
Here we are.
408
00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:27,010
Oh.
409
00:17:27,045 --> 00:17:27,711
Hmm?
410
00:17:27,745 --> 00:17:28,879
Whoo, that's nice, Alex.
411
00:17:28,913 --> 00:17:30,381
Would you like me
to open it now?
412
00:17:30,415 --> 00:17:32,383
No, don't bother,
we'll do it ourselves.
413
00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:34,285
That's okay, Tony.
It's okay.
414
00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:37,721
( chuckles )
415
00:17:37,755 --> 00:17:39,290
Alex?
Yes?
416
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:42,159
Alex, is, uh, this really
awkward for you?
417
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:45,463
What, you people coming here
and my having to wait on you?
418
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:46,630
Uh-huh.
419
00:17:46,664 --> 00:17:48,332
Yes, it's as awkward as hell.
420
00:17:48,366 --> 00:17:50,834
Hey, would you feel
better if we left?
421
00:17:50,868 --> 00:17:52,002
Now, truth.
422
00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:53,637
Oh, come on, I'm just kidding.
423
00:17:53,671 --> 00:17:55,806
Hey, come on. You're my friends.
Don't be silly.
424
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:59,093
Besides, I understand you people
are going to be great tippers.
425
00:17:59,127 --> 00:18:00,094
Hey, uh, Alex?
426
00:18:00,128 --> 00:18:01,195
Hmm?
427
00:18:01,229 --> 00:18:03,663
I think it's ladies first.
428
00:18:03,698 --> 00:18:04,782
Oh.
429
00:18:04,816 --> 00:18:06,550
Thanks for
your help, Tony.
430
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:07,918
WOMAN:
Waiter.
431
00:18:10,254 --> 00:18:11,288
Mmm.
432
00:18:11,322 --> 00:18:12,289
Mmm?
433
00:18:12,323 --> 00:18:13,607
( whispers ):
It's wonderful.
434
00:18:13,641 --> 00:18:14,774
Waiter?
435
00:18:14,809 --> 00:18:16,610
BOBBY:
Uh, I'd like
to propose a toast.
436
00:18:16,644 --> 00:18:17,928
Waiter.
437
00:18:17,962 --> 00:18:19,330
Will you keep
your drawers on, lady?
438
00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:20,464
The guy's got six tables.
439
00:18:20,498 --> 00:18:21,832
He can't be
everywhere at once.
440
00:18:27,255 --> 00:18:30,523
I just wanted some water.
441
00:18:30,558 --> 00:18:32,309
Listen, I'll be right back.
442
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,614
You happy?
443
00:18:39,784 --> 00:18:41,418
It's okay, Alex.
I took care of it.
444
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:42,786
Oh, thank you.
445
00:18:44,622 --> 00:18:45,889
Uh... all right.
446
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,424
How are we?
447
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,725
We're doing good.
448
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,611
Hey, let's, uh,
have a toast.
449
00:18:50,645 --> 00:18:52,129
Oh, yeah, okay.
450
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:53,930
Oh, yeah, anyway...
451
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:55,131
to our good
friend, Alex.
452
00:18:55,166 --> 00:18:56,467
Oh, please.
453
00:18:56,501 --> 00:18:58,602
And one good
waiter, too,
if you ask me.
454
00:18:58,636 --> 00:18:59,937
ALL:
Hear, hear.
455
00:18:59,971 --> 00:19:01,705
Thank you,
thank you, folks.
456
00:19:01,739 --> 00:19:04,040
Okay, are we
ready to order?
457
00:19:04,075 --> 00:19:05,208
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
458
00:19:05,242 --> 00:19:07,210
Um, let's see,
I'm gonna st...
459
00:19:07,244 --> 00:19:10,063
I'll have
the spinach salad.
460
00:19:10,097 --> 00:19:11,665
Oh, listen, I'll
split one with you.
461
00:19:11,699 --> 00:19:12,799
Just put extra
bacon bits
462
00:19:12,833 --> 00:19:14,100
on my half,
all right?
Okay.
463
00:19:16,003 --> 00:19:18,522
Gee, it seems such
a shame not to order
464
00:19:18,556 --> 00:19:20,924
French food in a
French restaurant.
465
00:19:20,958 --> 00:19:22,192
Uh, tell me... uh,
466
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:25,129
how are the potatoes
au gratin prepared?
467
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,383
With cheese.
468
00:19:30,418 --> 00:19:32,903
Very interesting.
469
00:19:32,937 --> 00:19:34,971
That's what I
think I'll have--
470
00:19:35,006 --> 00:19:37,307
potatoes au gratin,
with cheese.
471
00:19:39,009 --> 00:19:41,378
What the heck.
Give me the potatoes au gratin--
472
00:19:41,412 --> 00:19:42,746
only without the cheese.
473
00:19:44,432 --> 00:19:47,367
Okay, let's see if
I've got this right, now.
474
00:19:47,402 --> 00:19:49,303
That's, uh, pheasant pate,
vichyssoise,
475
00:19:49,337 --> 00:19:50,804
endive salad, duck a l'orange
476
00:19:50,838 --> 00:19:53,106
chocolate mousse and espresso
all for four.
477
00:19:53,141 --> 00:19:54,274
Alex, what are...?
478
00:19:54,308 --> 00:19:55,609
It's on me.
479
00:19:55,644 --> 00:19:58,311
Aw, Alex, we can't
let you do that.
480
00:19:58,346 --> 00:19:59,396
Are you kidding?
Listen, I make
481
00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:01,599
almost twice as much here
as I did at the garage.
482
00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:03,834
Now, it's on me,
and that's all there is to it.
483
00:20:03,868 --> 00:20:08,004
Well, gee, I mean, like,
well... thanks.
484
00:20:08,038 --> 00:20:08,906
You're welcome.
485
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:11,041
ELAINE:
You know, Alex, uh...
486
00:20:11,075 --> 00:20:13,343
I guess we all came here tonight
sort of hoping
487
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,379
it wasn't working out
for you as a waiter.
488
00:20:15,413 --> 00:20:17,981
And you know, maybe you'd come
back to the garage.
489
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:19,800
But I-I guess
there's no chance of that, huh?
490
00:20:19,834 --> 00:20:22,486
You know, strangely enough,
I was laying awake last night
491
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,920
thinking about whether or not
492
00:20:23,954 --> 00:20:25,589
I should go back
to driving a cab.
493
00:20:25,623 --> 00:20:27,258
Really?
Great!
494
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:29,660
Hold on. I said I was thinking
about it-- just thinking.
495
00:20:29,694 --> 00:20:30,827
( groaning )
( groaning )
496
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:32,429
I mean, you know,
I was trying to weigh
497
00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:33,797
what's good about being a waiter
498
00:20:33,831 --> 00:20:35,666
against what's good
about being a cab driver.
499
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:36,967
You know, I, um...
500
00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:38,385
I do make
a lot more bread here.
501
00:20:38,419 --> 00:20:39,419
Oh...
Yeah.
502
00:20:39,453 --> 00:20:40,821
But on the other hand,
503
00:20:40,855 --> 00:20:43,256
being a cab driver,
I'm my own boss.
504
00:20:43,290 --> 00:20:45,358
I mean, nobody orders me around,
you know.
505
00:20:45,393 --> 00:20:47,594
Nobody goes like this to me.
506
00:20:47,629 --> 00:20:48,545
That's right.
Right.
507
00:20:48,663 --> 00:20:50,164
That's important.
Self-respect,
you know.
508
00:20:50,198 --> 00:20:51,431
However, on the other hand
509
00:20:51,466 --> 00:20:55,085
being a waiter,
nobody goes like this to me.
510
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:56,420
Oh, yeah, but
that's one in
a million.
511
00:20:56,454 --> 00:20:57,588
Big deal.
One time, you know?
512
00:20:57,622 --> 00:20:58,989
Of course, as a cab driver,
I can...
513
00:20:59,023 --> 00:21:00,357
I don't have to
dress up like this.
514
00:21:00,391 --> 00:21:02,593
I mean, uh... I can wear what I
want, shave when I want.
515
00:21:02,627 --> 00:21:04,861
Yeah, you hate shaving.
Yeah... That's right.
516
00:21:04,895 --> 00:21:06,263
Besides, you
look pretty
fruity...
517
00:21:06,297 --> 00:21:08,698
Of course, the hours are really
much better here, you know.
518
00:21:08,733 --> 00:21:11,235
I get to go home at midnight,
and I sleep at night.
519
00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:12,602
( all groaning )
520
00:21:12,637 --> 00:21:15,005
But of course, you know, as a
cab driver, my time is my own.
521
00:21:15,039 --> 00:21:16,439
I mean, I feel like working,
I work.
522
00:21:16,474 --> 00:21:18,041
I don't feel like working,
I don't work.
523
00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:18,976
That's great.
That's right.
524
00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:20,894
Exactly why I took
the job...
You know something?
525
00:21:20,928 --> 00:21:23,730
I do get great
gourmet meals here free.
526
00:21:23,765 --> 00:21:25,115
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, so...
527
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:27,818
But you know, the great thing
about being a cab driver?
528
00:21:27,852 --> 00:21:28,819
You can be yourself.
529
00:21:28,853 --> 00:21:31,038
I mean, you don't have
to smile at everybody.
530
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:32,773
All they get
is the back of my head.
531
00:21:32,807 --> 00:21:34,942
What I do with my face
is my own business.
532
00:21:34,976 --> 00:21:36,826
( all talking at once )
533
00:21:36,861 --> 00:21:38,228
So, you see what I mean?
534
00:21:38,262 --> 00:21:40,097
I mean, both have
their advantages,
535
00:21:40,131 --> 00:21:42,232
both have
their disadvantages.
536
00:21:42,266 --> 00:21:43,766
See what I mean?
537
00:21:43,801 --> 00:21:47,104
Yeah, but, Alex, you know,
you're forgetting one thing.
538
00:21:47,138 --> 00:21:48,304
What's that?
539
00:21:48,339 --> 00:21:49,389
Friends.
540
00:21:49,424 --> 00:21:50,307
Oh.
541
00:21:50,341 --> 00:21:51,708
Yes.
542
00:21:51,742 --> 00:21:53,076
You're right, Bobby.
543
00:21:53,111 --> 00:21:56,947
I've made wonderful friends
here at the restaurant.
544
00:21:56,981 --> 00:21:58,048
( mocking laughter )
Joker!
545
00:21:58,082 --> 00:22:01,585
You see, so I say to myself,
what's it going to be?
546
00:22:01,619 --> 00:22:05,522
Waiter...
547
00:22:05,557 --> 00:22:07,023
cab driver.
548
00:22:07,058 --> 00:22:09,109
Waiter...
549
00:22:09,143 --> 00:22:11,111
cab driver...
550
00:22:11,145 --> 00:22:14,514
Alex, thank you.
Everything was excellent.
551
00:22:14,549 --> 00:22:16,749
This is for you.
552
00:22:16,784 --> 00:22:19,253
Wow! A $20 tip.
553
00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:28,428
This is very depressing.
554
00:22:29,864 --> 00:22:32,115
It's okay, Alex.
We understand.
555
00:22:32,149 --> 00:22:33,967
No, because I just decided.
556
00:22:34,002 --> 00:22:35,402
I'm a cab driver.
557
00:22:35,436 --> 00:22:37,337
( cheering, laughing )
558
00:22:43,260 --> 00:22:44,561
BOBBY:
Cabby Alex!
559
00:22:44,595 --> 00:22:46,730
They love the appetizer.
560
00:22:55,857 --> 00:22:57,558
LOUIE ( over dispatch ):
Just remember, Alex.
561
00:22:57,592 --> 00:22:59,560
This is your first night back.
562
00:22:59,594 --> 00:23:02,446
Don't pick up anybody
who looks suspicious.
563
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,681
Now, listen, Louie, it's
not going to work that way.
564
00:23:04,715 --> 00:23:06,483
I'm going to drive the
way I always drive.
565
00:23:06,517 --> 00:23:08,551
Anybody who flags me,
I'm going to pick them up.
566
00:23:08,586 --> 00:23:10,187
Anywhere they want
to go, that's fine.
567
00:23:10,221 --> 00:23:12,589
I mean, I'm going to go crazy
if I spend my life
568
00:23:12,623 --> 00:23:14,992
trying to figure out who's safe,
who isn't safe.
569
00:23:15,026 --> 00:23:16,626
Look, it's a dangerous business.
570
00:23:16,660 --> 00:23:18,495
I'll just have to live
with it, okay?
571
00:23:18,529 --> 00:23:19,897
Okay.
572
00:23:27,805 --> 00:23:29,606
Sorry, off duty.
573
00:23:32,510 --> 00:23:34,111
Aw, what the heck.
574
00:23:36,147 --> 00:23:38,331
Might as well take a chance.
575
00:23:59,436 --> 00:24:02,172
( theme music playing )
576
00:24:26,447 --> 00:24:28,031
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
577
00:24:28,065 --> 00:24:29,365
( grunts )
43781
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