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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:55,375 Oh! Love it! 2 00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:58,208 "Trouble"! One of the greatest Elvis songs of all time. 3 00:00:58,291 --> 00:00:59,125 How was the sound? 4 00:00:59,208 --> 00:01:01,041 Hell yeah. Felt great. 5 00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:03,517 But since that song's about beating the shit out of somebody, 6 00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:05,458 which is great in its own way, 7 00:01:05,541 --> 00:01:07,583 maybe we try something more... 8 00:01:08,708 --> 00:01:09,791 Christmassy? 9 00:01:10,291 --> 00:01:14,666 Yeah. I'm having kinda second thoughts about the whole Christmas angle. 10 00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:16,430 I hear you. Great. Good thought. 11 00:01:16,458 --> 00:01:19,416 So, let's try one with Tiny Tim and the Elvis Elves. 12 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,458 Thoughts? 13 00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:35,541 Ladies. 14 00:01:36,208 --> 00:01:38,916 Oh, for fuck's sake, Scatter. 15 00:01:39,458 --> 00:01:42,416 I guess "Wait in the limo" is a little too open-ended, huh? 16 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:43,541 What the hell? 17 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,833 You said we'd get to hang out with Elvis. 18 00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:50,958 Now, you realize that vest has pockets, right? 19 00:01:58,583 --> 00:01:59,833 Hello? 20 00:01:59,916 --> 00:02:01,708 Oh hey, baby. Did I call too late? 21 00:02:01,791 --> 00:02:04,833 Only for one of us, and she's sound asleep. 22 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,476 Well, give her a kiss for me, will you? 23 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,500 You sound tired, baby. You doing okay? 24 00:02:08,583 --> 00:02:10,333 I don't know, 'Cilla. 25 00:02:10,416 --> 00:02:13,541 Feels like the world out there is going insane, and I'm stuck here 26 00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:16,375 doing a shitty Christmas show the Colonel locked me into. 27 00:02:16,458 --> 00:02:19,208 Aw, I'm sure the show will be great. 28 00:02:19,291 --> 00:02:21,416 Yeah. You mean the one with the Elvis Elves? 29 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:22,666 Come on. "Elvis Elves"? 30 00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:25,000 Trust me, it's actually worse than it sounds. 31 00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:26,083 No way. 32 00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:29,500 Hello? 'Cilla? 33 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,125 Hey, ace, what happened to the phone? 34 00:02:31,208 --> 00:02:33,291 Sorry, just trying to speed things up. 35 00:02:33,375 --> 00:02:34,375 Speed what up? 36 00:02:35,958 --> 00:02:37,458 My job. Killing you. 37 00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:39,750 Oh, and for whatever reason, 38 00:02:39,833 --> 00:02:43,041 they wanted you to hear this while you, you know, die. 39 00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:44,625 Did he just say, "Killing me"? 40 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:47,958 Goulet? 41 00:02:48,458 --> 00:02:51,958 Well, this fucking day just keeps getting better and better. 42 00:02:57,375 --> 00:02:59,791 Damn it, Scatter! You shot me! 43 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:06,791 I swear to God, I should have never gotten out of bed this morning. 44 00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:08,666 Oh what, huh? 45 00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:10,458 I'm not allowed to have a bad day? 46 00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:14,625 Aw, shit! 47 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:39,708 Look here, pal. I've had a shit day, so I'm gonna go ahead and kick your ass. 48 00:03:39,791 --> 00:03:40,791 Hyah! 49 00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:45,666 Huh? What in the hell? 50 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:47,250 Holy shit. Is that Elvis? 51 00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:51,500 ♪ For the next three weeks I went hunting them nights ♪ 52 00:03:51,583 --> 00:03:53,143 ♪ Just looking for a place to play... ♪ 53 00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:57,708 ♪ But nobody wanted to hire a guitar man ♪ 54 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,875 ♪ I run out of money and luck So I bought me a ride ♪ 55 00:04:12,958 --> 00:04:14,666 ♪ Down to Macon, Georgia... ♪ 56 00:04:17,541 --> 00:04:20,000 ♪ Started picking out Some of them all-night bars ♪ 57 00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:23,458 ♪ Hoping I could make myself a dollar Making music on my guitar ♪ 58 00:04:24,125 --> 00:04:26,375 ♪ I got the same old story At them all-night piers ♪ 59 00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:28,892 ♪ You know there ain't no room around here For a guitar man ♪ 60 00:04:28,916 --> 00:04:29,916 Sorry about that. 61 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:33,000 Oh my God, Elvis. That was amazing. 62 00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,250 What was all that? 63 00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:35,958 Oh that? Yeah. 64 00:04:36,041 --> 00:04:38,125 You know, that... That was a rehearsal. 65 00:04:38,208 --> 00:04:40,333 It's what I'm doing for my new TV show. 66 00:04:40,416 --> 00:04:42,250 Jesus, is that guy okay? 67 00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:44,333 Oh yeah, that's just fake blood, everybody. 68 00:04:44,375 --> 00:04:45,708 And that there is fake, uh... 69 00:04:45,791 --> 00:04:47,500 Well, whatever that is. And... 70 00:04:47,583 --> 00:04:48,958 What's the new show called? 71 00:04:59,583 --> 00:05:01,375 Rise and shine, asshole. 72 00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:03,375 Oh, where am I? 73 00:05:04,041 --> 00:05:06,750 Oh, you are fucking dead. I'll fucking... 74 00:05:06,833 --> 00:05:08,541 Jesus Christ. 75 00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:11,750 You gotta be dumber than a mud fence to be talking right now. 76 00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,125 That's my friend, Bobby Ray. 77 00:05:14,208 --> 00:05:15,666 You might want to listen to him. 78 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:20,666 Which house rule am I thinking about right now? 79 00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:23,041 Definitely not the one about personal space. 80 00:05:23,125 --> 00:05:27,541 You promised none of your vigilante nonsense in this house, remember? 81 00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:29,416 Won't even know we're here, Miss Bertie. 82 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,833 Hey, when I get out of this, I'm gonna fucking... 83 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,458 More or less. 84 00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:35,958 Mm. 85 00:05:36,541 --> 00:05:38,416 That was Bertie, my rock. 86 00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:41,375 Runs everything around here, known me since I was in diapers. 87 00:05:41,458 --> 00:05:45,708 And speaking of diapers, you see my chimp, Scatter, over there with the hand cannon? 88 00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:49,958 That is a problem for you, friend. 89 00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:51,625 You see, I decided a while ago, 90 00:05:51,708 --> 00:05:54,791 I wasn't gonna just sit around while this country's torn apart 91 00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:59,583 by all the chaos, the dirtbag hippies, the drugs, the crime. 92 00:05:59,666 --> 00:06:01,791 No, no, no, not on my watch. 93 00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:02,708 But Scatter here? 94 00:06:02,791 --> 00:06:05,583 Hell, he just does it because he gets off to it. 95 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,375 Not where I was going with that. 96 00:06:07,458 --> 00:06:09,583 You know, here's an idea. 97 00:06:09,666 --> 00:06:12,166 Maybe try not being disgusting all the time, 98 00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:16,250 including in the hot tub that you clogged with your damn monkey spunk. 99 00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:18,250 That filter looked like a war crime! 100 00:06:18,958 --> 00:06:22,708 Look at me. Here and now is where you tell me who sent you to kill me. 101 00:06:22,791 --> 00:06:24,625 Fuck you, singer boy. 102 00:06:24,708 --> 00:06:26,166 They're not paying me to talk. 103 00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:28,250 They? Well, who the hell's "they"? 104 00:06:29,041 --> 00:06:33,541 Now you listen to me, scumbag. I promise you Scatter's going to pull that trigger... 105 00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:35,583 Oh fuck! 106 00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,291 "If"! 107 00:06:37,375 --> 00:06:40,500 Goddamn it, Scatter. I was gonna say, "If" he didn't talk! 108 00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:45,458 Not sticking up for the chimp here, boss, but it was a little confusing. 109 00:06:45,541 --> 00:06:46,625 So... 110 00:06:46,708 --> 00:06:49,500 is this me not knowing you're here? 111 00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:51,083 Just a little hiccup, Miss Bertie. 112 00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:53,000 Just a little hiccup. Everything's fine. 113 00:06:53,875 --> 00:06:56,291 Though technically the living room has seen better days. 114 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:58,916 You know, there are ways 115 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,916 to turn you into a quarter-sleeve cardigan. 116 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,458 You need to clean this up, now. 117 00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:06,750 Because that sweater thing sounded real specific. 118 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,791 Yeah. Like I know where the mop is. 119 00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:13,333 Pull! 120 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:19,208 I swear this crime-fighting crap's gonna get you killed one day. 121 00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:21,375 Yeah, but this one wasn't my fault. 122 00:07:21,458 --> 00:07:24,250 The guy with the exploded head started the whole damn thing. 123 00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:26,041 Just like that, huh? 124 00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:28,750 All I know is somebody wants me dead. 125 00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:29,708 Pull! 126 00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:33,750 You know, my money's on them Bolivians. 127 00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,291 Negatory. 128 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:38,541 All those guys are not really around anymore. 129 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,583 What is that? A to-go bag? 130 00:07:40,666 --> 00:07:41,833 Put that shit back. 131 00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:45,125 Hey! What about that mob guy you ran into in Miami 132 00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:46,750 when you were doing that Sinatra show? 133 00:07:47,958 --> 00:07:49,125 Definitely not him. 134 00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:51,166 There's that biker gang from last month. 135 00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:57,750 Not after that explosion, there isn't. 136 00:07:57,833 --> 00:07:59,958 Or maybe just another jealous husband 137 00:08:00,041 --> 00:08:03,916 sick of his wife flooding her basement every time you're on the TV... Ow! 138 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,833 Doesn't really narrow it down, does it? 139 00:08:05,916 --> 00:08:08,750 Besides, though, this felt different. This guy... This guy was a pro. 140 00:08:08,833 --> 00:08:10,625 You even hear yourself? 141 00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:13,291 I promised your mama I was gonna look after you, 142 00:08:13,375 --> 00:08:15,166 but if she was alive today, she'd... 143 00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:18,958 Say, "Thank you, Elvis, for trying to make the world a better place." 144 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,166 "You're such a good boy, Elvis. How about a snack?" 145 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,458 Oh, and then Mom would probably cover her ears, 146 00:08:24,541 --> 00:08:26,416 because this is going to get real loud. 147 00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,166 Wait, wait, wait! Check it out, E. 148 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,833 Got bored and souped up a pair of your sunglasses for you. 149 00:08:32,416 --> 00:08:34,125 Yeah. 150 00:08:34,916 --> 00:08:35,916 Watch this. 151 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,041 Hang on. 152 00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,666 What happened to all the Christmas stuff? There was a bunch of tinsel and shit. 153 00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:51,166 I'm taking this thing over. 154 00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:53,125 It's not gonna be a Christmas special anymore. 155 00:08:53,208 --> 00:08:54,041 Well, what then? 156 00:08:54,125 --> 00:08:55,416 Glad you asked, buddy. 157 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:58,708 Because if I can dream, this show's gonna make a statement. 158 00:08:58,791 --> 00:09:00,333 - A statement? - Damn straight. 159 00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:02,291 Just full-tilt rock and roll, boys, 160 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,083 how we used to do it before all the movies and all the bullshit. 161 00:09:05,166 --> 00:09:08,375 Now, that, my chiseled friend, is what I'm talking about. 162 00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:10,250 Just you and the boys cranking it out. 163 00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:12,125 Already got Scotty and DJ on a plane. 164 00:09:12,208 --> 00:09:14,000 - Blowing the fucking doors off. - Always. 165 00:09:14,083 --> 00:09:16,791 If we deck this place out with, like, a shit-ton of balloons... 166 00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:18,559 - What? - ...multicolored streamers, 167 00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:20,333 and... Ooh! Bunting. 168 00:09:21,166 --> 00:09:23,125 Absolutely not. Go get the car. 169 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,291 Excuse me. 170 00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:30,833 Well, well, well. Lady One, Lady Two, Lady Three. 171 00:09:30,916 --> 00:09:34,291 Yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am, and yes, ma'am. Now, how'd you get in here? 172 00:09:34,375 --> 00:09:36,125 Any chance we can get a picture? 173 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,583 Well, sure thing, you bet. Come here now. 174 00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:44,125 Okay, last one, I swear. 175 00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:45,916 Sure, anything for the fans. 176 00:09:48,333 --> 00:09:50,708 Which you, apparently, are not. 177 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:53,791 Okay, piggy, let's see those teeth. 178 00:09:54,416 --> 00:09:56,458 - Say... - Wait. I think I know this one. 179 00:09:56,541 --> 00:09:57,750 Cheese, dipshits! 180 00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:01,041 Hyah! 181 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,958 Now that's what I'm talking about. 182 00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:25,375 That was fucking weird, huh? 183 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,708 - What the hell was all that? - Just doing my job. 184 00:10:27,791 --> 00:10:29,708 - Sorry? - Don't be. Later, gator! 185 00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:33,166 Uh, okay. 186 00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:34,500 I have a few notes. 187 00:10:35,791 --> 00:10:38,250 You mind telling me what the hell's going on? 188 00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:43,416 Okay, this is gonna sound a little/extremely weird, but 189 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,500 you're on a kill list. 190 00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:48,041 I know. Sucks, am I right? 191 00:10:54,291 --> 00:10:55,958 Hey, what's up, boss man? 192 00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:57,541 Think I might be on a kill list. 193 00:10:57,625 --> 00:10:59,625 Hmm. Well, that sucks. 194 00:10:59,708 --> 00:11:00,958 Scatter, you got her? 195 00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:06,458 Oh, you sure this is a good idea, E? 196 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:09,583 When someone says, "Kill list," I've got a few follow-up questions. 197 00:11:09,666 --> 00:11:14,333 No. I mean, trusting the chimp to track some woman's... lady parts scents. 198 00:11:14,833 --> 00:11:15,750 Scatter's got it. 199 00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:17,541 Does he? Because last time we tried this, 200 00:11:17,625 --> 00:11:19,833 we ended up at Gloria Steinem's crawfish boil. 201 00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:25,500 You boys stay with the car, 202 00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:30,791 which means not buying coked-up hookers, he said really clearly this time. 203 00:11:31,708 --> 00:11:33,583 If I'm not back in five, come and get me. 204 00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:47,666 Mr. Presley? 205 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:48,958 You got room for one more? 206 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,416 Of course, sir. Let me just check. 207 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,666 At ease, ace. Wasn't really asking. 208 00:11:58,416 --> 00:12:00,875 Now, there she is. Never got your name. 209 00:12:00,958 --> 00:12:02,583 No. And there's a reason for that. 210 00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:03,875 I want some answers. 211 00:12:03,958 --> 00:12:08,458 No, I think what you really want is the scallops mimosa. Oh! 212 00:12:08,541 --> 00:12:10,583 - Sorry? - Oh God, you won't be. Trust me. 213 00:12:10,666 --> 00:12:14,208 First time I tried some, so good I literally shit my pants. 214 00:12:14,291 --> 00:12:16,891 You know, hearing that out loud, they may have been undercooked... 215 00:12:16,958 --> 00:12:19,375 - Skip to the kill list. - Oh, that. 216 00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:21,416 - Yeah, somebody wants you dead. - Who? 217 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,708 The name Charlie Manson mean anything to you? 218 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:28,750 Ooh. Oh, you are bad! 219 00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:31,875 Oh no. Don't you fucking do it, Jughead! 220 00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:34,416 Hey there, daddy-o. Borrow a light? 221 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:38,250 Ooh! Yes, ma'am. You can borrow whatever the hell you want: 222 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,541 a light, my car keys, my spleen. 223 00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:43,333 We'll borrow you too, while we're at it, Jack. 224 00:12:43,416 --> 00:12:45,500 Don't just stand there, pick him up! 225 00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:47,375 Am I talking to myself here? 226 00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:51,416 That wasn't rhetorical. I'm really asking. I've got six voices in my head right now. 227 00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:53,208 Absolute psychopath... 228 00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:59,666 ...who, small side note, technically just kidnapped your friend. 229 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:02,416 - What? - The one not wearing a diaper. Bobby Ray. 230 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,180 Oh, the fucking waiter just tell you that? 231 00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:08,000 "Oh, did the fucking waiter..." Yeah. We've got eyes everywhere. Creepy, right? 232 00:13:08,083 --> 00:13:09,833 You're not kidding. Where'd they take him? 233 00:13:09,916 --> 00:13:11,684 - Can't tell you that. - You're coming with me. 234 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,458 And cancel dinner with a not-too-clingy radiologist 235 00:13:14,541 --> 00:13:16,791 with size 13 shoes and a beach house? 236 00:13:16,875 --> 00:13:18,375 I don't think so. 237 00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:19,458 Try again. 238 00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:23,083 Mm. Careful. 239 00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:29,875 You don't look like an honorary Shelby County deputy to me. 240 00:13:30,541 --> 00:13:33,916 You mind telling me why Dean Martin has a .38 aimed at my head? 241 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,791 That feels like a you problem. 242 00:13:35,875 --> 00:13:37,875 Well, speaking of "you problems," 243 00:13:37,958 --> 00:13:40,791 if this Manson guy really did take Bobby Ray... 244 00:13:45,416 --> 00:13:49,250 ...then you're about to see why we don't let Scatter drive. Ever. 245 00:13:58,500 --> 00:13:59,750 Let's take a ride. 246 00:14:05,333 --> 00:14:06,916 Hey! 247 00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:12,291 It's called Spahn Ranch. 248 00:14:12,375 --> 00:14:14,458 It used to be a movie set for old westerns. 249 00:14:14,541 --> 00:14:16,125 Huh. Looks like nobody's home. 250 00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:18,625 No? Well, "nobody" sure has a lot of horses. 251 00:14:18,708 --> 00:14:19,541 Good point. 252 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,458 No shit. Trust me. This is home base for Manson and his people. 253 00:14:22,541 --> 00:14:25,625 So, now can we cool it with whatever the fuck this is? 254 00:14:28,375 --> 00:14:30,333 Oh. Don't mind if I do. 255 00:14:30,916 --> 00:14:32,541 You're my new favorite. 256 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:35,958 Only one way to find out. 257 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,083 You can get out now. 258 00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:39,708 Hey, what do you think you're do... 259 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,291 Uh, what am I doing? My job, which is keeping you unmurdered. 260 00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:58,375 And more importantly, getting high with a monkey. 261 00:14:58,458 --> 00:15:00,250 Either way, can we hurry this up? 262 00:15:06,916 --> 00:15:09,875 So boring. You know your friend's already dead... 263 00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,541 Hey, let me tell you something. 264 00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:13,291 Bobby Ray grew up in the backwoods, 265 00:15:13,375 --> 00:15:16,250 where the only things to do were making moonshine and catching rabies. 266 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,333 Uh-huh. 267 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,208 And what is your insanely grim point here? 268 00:15:20,291 --> 00:15:21,791 Bobby Ray is a survivor. 269 00:15:23,916 --> 00:15:25,166 Stay here. 270 00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:26,291 Done. 271 00:15:32,916 --> 00:15:34,750 Goddamn it, Bobby Ray. 272 00:15:57,083 --> 00:15:59,500 Sweet mother of God. 273 00:16:00,416 --> 00:16:03,375 Hey! Hey, they may be coming back soon. 274 00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:05,333 So let's get you out of here. 275 00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:07,541 What? No, I mean to fuck me again. 276 00:16:07,625 --> 00:16:11,375 Seriously, E, these batshit-crazy free-love chicks are on fire. 277 00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:13,083 Uh, is that blood? 278 00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:17,041 Okay, yeah, the sex got a little dark. Not proud of it, but I'd do it again. 279 00:16:18,666 --> 00:16:20,166 What in the hell is that? 280 00:16:23,541 --> 00:16:26,000 Whoa, whoa, easy with the gun, man. 281 00:16:26,583 --> 00:16:28,333 What's with all the hostility? 282 00:16:28,833 --> 00:16:31,000 You assholes kidnapped my friend. 283 00:16:31,083 --> 00:16:32,000 Kidnapped? 284 00:16:33,833 --> 00:16:36,791 Who are you, the charred remains of my last lawyer? 285 00:16:37,416 --> 00:16:40,708 No, we just borrowed your friend to get you here. 286 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,916 Now, relax, grab a seat. 287 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,791 We're all friendly here. 288 00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,958 - Join us. - Come join us, man. 289 00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:51,416 - Right. - Hey, E? 290 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,000 Maybe let's get the hell out of here. 291 00:16:54,958 --> 00:16:58,833 So, you gonna introduce us to your fun new friends? 292 00:16:58,916 --> 00:17:00,958 - Just fucking drive, Bobby Ray. - Yep! 293 00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:06,875 Step on it. Maybe I can still make dinner with Dr. Timmy and his insanely big... 294 00:17:19,791 --> 00:17:20,791 What? 295 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,416 Nice nap? 296 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,750 What the hell is this? 297 00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,083 Oh, this? 298 00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:29,375 This is the gallows they used filming Linda and Abilene, 299 00:17:29,458 --> 00:17:32,375 an underappreciated psychosexual western. 300 00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:33,916 And these folks here? 301 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,500 These are my people, man! 302 00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:38,708 Thank you, yes! 303 00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:43,250 So are they here to just fuck around in the dirt or to watch you try and kill me? 304 00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:46,625 Kill you? Oh no, brother. What the hell are you talking about? 305 00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:47,916 - The kill list. - Ugh. 306 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,333 I told Bloodlust Charlie not to call it that. 307 00:17:50,416 --> 00:17:52,500 But then Angry Charlie told me, "Shut the fuck up!" 308 00:17:52,583 --> 00:17:53,851 - No, you shut up. - You shut up! 309 00:17:53,875 --> 00:17:55,625 - Be quiet. - Whose voice is that? 310 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:56,708 Everyone be quiet. 311 00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:58,000 Shh. 312 00:17:58,083 --> 00:18:01,083 Nothing completely insane about any of that. 313 00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:02,041 Can I go now? 314 00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:03,041 Sure. 315 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,041 Well, assuming you want to join the family. 316 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,916 Family? What fucking family? 317 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,375 We're all brothers and sisters here, man. 318 00:18:09,458 --> 00:18:11,708 We're a family. Seriously. 319 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,333 Jerry over there does the dishes. 320 00:18:13,416 --> 00:18:15,208 Martha's in charge of snacks. 321 00:18:15,291 --> 00:18:16,500 Frank gets the drugs. 322 00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:18,958 Betty over there, well, she gets drugs too. 323 00:18:19,041 --> 00:18:21,791 Actually, pretty much everybody else gets drugs. 324 00:18:21,875 --> 00:18:23,833 Don't forget to get drugs, everybody! 325 00:18:23,916 --> 00:18:25,541 Now, I know what you're thinking. 326 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:28,250 You're worried you might not fit in. 327 00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,625 Losing sleep over it. 328 00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:31,583 You just got to give it time, man. 329 00:18:31,666 --> 00:18:34,833 After we force-feed you LSD for three straight months, 330 00:18:34,916 --> 00:18:38,666 I promise you, you're gonna feel the love. 331 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:42,833 And by that, I mean we fuck each other constantly, am I right? 332 00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:47,333 Yeah, bravo. Afraid I'm not your guy. 333 00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:49,875 Of course you are. Don't you get it? 334 00:18:49,958 --> 00:18:50,791 Pretend I don't. 335 00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:52,625 You and me, we're the same. 336 00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:57,875 We're both electric personalities, making music that'll change the world. 337 00:18:57,958 --> 00:18:59,375 - Music? - With the help of you 338 00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:02,916 and everybody else on this list, I'm going all the way to the top. 339 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:03,916 What the hell are you... 340 00:19:09,958 --> 00:19:11,083 Sweet mother of God. 341 00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:13,291 Does that answer your question? 342 00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:15,791 - Not the way I think you wanted. - So what do you say? 343 00:19:15,875 --> 00:19:17,416 Yes. Say yes. 344 00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:20,500 I'd say, if I wanted to hang out with a bunch of shitbag hippies, 345 00:19:20,583 --> 00:19:22,375 I'd return Dennis Hopper's phone calls. 346 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,416 - E! - Oh, goddamn it. 347 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,583 You know, I'm not so much angry as I am disappointed. 348 00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:33,041 I blame myself, really. 349 00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:35,291 The king piggy goes down, man. 350 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:39,375 Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! 351 00:19:39,458 --> 00:19:40,458 Hey. 352 00:19:40,916 --> 00:19:43,250 You owe me a new badge, dickhead. 353 00:19:46,916 --> 00:19:49,166 Oh God. Oh Daddy, is anything broken? 354 00:19:50,083 --> 00:19:51,250 Get him. 355 00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:54,500 Okay, some of those seem awfully big to keep in your pants. 356 00:20:20,416 --> 00:20:22,291 Huh. Well, that's new. 357 00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:23,791 They're not going down! 358 00:20:23,875 --> 00:20:26,250 They're like hippie zombies! 359 00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:27,625 Even better. 360 00:20:27,708 --> 00:20:29,875 They're so high, they can't feel a thing. 361 00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:32,291 It's beautiful, man! 362 00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:35,291 Blah, blah, blah! God, it's nonstop with that guy. 363 00:20:37,708 --> 00:20:39,375 No! Let go! 364 00:20:58,416 --> 00:20:59,500 Shit. 365 00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:04,125 Hey, jackass. This... 366 00:21:04,208 --> 00:21:05,767 This is why I didn't want to come here. 367 00:21:05,791 --> 00:21:07,333 No! 368 00:21:08,708 --> 00:21:10,166 Fucking animals! 369 00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:13,083 Look what you did to my beautiful family. 370 00:21:13,666 --> 00:21:15,625 Now you have to pay. 371 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,416 - Huh. Okay. - A grenade? 372 00:21:18,125 --> 00:21:19,250 Ah! 373 00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:25,833 Planet of the Apes. God, he loves that movie. 374 00:21:26,458 --> 00:21:27,458 Aw, fuck. 375 00:21:33,791 --> 00:21:37,333 You killed my sister/daughter-wife! 376 00:21:37,416 --> 00:21:38,833 You fucking ass... 377 00:21:43,416 --> 00:21:47,250 Say, I've been meaning to ask you. Nice outfit. What kind of leather's that? 378 00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:50,291 - Italian. I'm not an animal. - Where do you get something like that? 379 00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,458 With your waistline? You don't. 380 00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:56,333 You sure we can't give you a ride? 381 00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:59,875 Nope, nope. Got some cleaning up to do. Don't worry, we got people. 382 00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:05,625 "We" being...? 383 00:22:05,708 --> 00:22:08,416 - Good luck with the show. - Hey, speaking of... Bobby Ray! 384 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:11,125 - Yo! - Score our new friend here some tickets. 385 00:22:11,208 --> 00:22:13,416 Oh. Thanks, but no, thanks. 386 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:15,208 Not a big rock and roll fan, huh? 387 00:22:15,291 --> 00:22:16,875 Sure, sure, let's go with that. 388 00:22:22,750 --> 00:22:24,333 Definitely my favorite. 389 00:22:24,416 --> 00:22:26,541 ♪ ...of a better land ♪ 390 00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:29,958 ♪ Where all my brothers Walk hand in hand ♪ 391 00:22:30,041 --> 00:22:33,291 ♪ Tell me why, oh why ♪ 392 00:22:33,375 --> 00:22:39,083 ♪ Oh why can't my dream come true? ♪ 393 00:22:41,083 --> 00:22:43,125 ♪ Oh why? ♪ 394 00:22:44,416 --> 00:22:48,666 ♪ There must be peace and understanding ♪ 395 00:22:49,208 --> 00:22:50,750 ♪ Sometime ♪ 396 00:22:51,833 --> 00:22:54,333 ♪ Strong winds of promise ♪ 397 00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:56,250 ♪ That will blow away ♪ 398 00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:59,583 ♪ All the doubt and fear ♪ 399 00:22:59,666 --> 00:23:01,786 ♪ If I can dream ♪ 400 00:23:01,833 --> 00:23:03,541 ♪ Of a warmer sun... ♪ 401 00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:05,791 So, 402 00:23:05,875 --> 00:23:07,125 you think he's ready? 403 00:23:07,208 --> 00:23:10,125 You tell me, boss. How'd he do on your little fake limo assassin test? 404 00:23:11,708 --> 00:23:15,083 Yeah, um, been meaning to talk to you about that. 405 00:23:16,916 --> 00:23:19,000 - What? - Were you and Doug... close? 406 00:23:19,083 --> 00:23:21,767 I don't know, we were kinda dating, mostly over-the-pants stuff, why? 407 00:23:21,791 --> 00:23:22,625 Mm. Mm-hmm. 408 00:23:22,708 --> 00:23:26,416 Well, because I gave Doug the limo assignment, and it didn't go... 409 00:23:26,916 --> 00:23:28,041 Gosh, what's the word? 410 00:23:28,125 --> 00:23:29,041 Uh, perfectly. 411 00:23:29,125 --> 00:23:30,833 Oh. He's a big boy. He'll be fine. 412 00:23:30,916 --> 00:23:33,666 Well... ...maybe I'm underselling this a bit. 413 00:23:33,750 --> 00:23:37,000 The monkey shot him in the face and blew his head off. 414 00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:38,083 Seriously? 415 00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:40,041 Yes. I'm making my serious face. 416 00:23:40,875 --> 00:23:42,875 Meh. He was kind of a dick anyway. 417 00:23:43,375 --> 00:23:46,458 ♪ Oh, let it come true right now ♪ 418 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,166 ♪ Oh yeah ♪ 419 00:23:51,291 --> 00:23:55,916 ♪ Oh yeah ♪ 420 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,916 Thank you, and good night. 31949

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