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1
00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:04,526
Ava, have you seen a--
2
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:05,962
Is this you?
3
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,572
Oh. That must have
fell in there by mistake.
4
00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:08,834
Mind your business.
5
00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:10,053
What you looking for?
6
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,315
Uh, I lost something.
7
00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:13,665
What? Your sense of style?
Ha ha! Up top!
8
00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:14,840
No.
9
00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,146
You a hater.
10
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,495
What'd you lose?
11
00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:19,497
Uh, it was a shawl
that was in my classroom.
12
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,847
It was my warmest one.
I am so cold.
13
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:24,546
- You think someone took it?
- Who would just take a shawl?
14
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:30,204
Why would I, Ava Coleman,
take something from Janine?
15
00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,858
Look, I am not
accusing anyone, but--
16
00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:34,512
Mr. Johnson
took my shawl!
17
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:36,558
Why does the lost and found have
a five-day waiting period
18
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:38,734
if we're not
gonna enforce it?
19
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:40,910
Aah!
20
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,347
It's called
functional fashion.
21
00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:46,133
Yeah!
That shawl chose him.
22
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,063
I hope all the kids
aren't here today.
23
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,803
Yesterday,
everybody was in attendance,
24
00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:06,066
and it almost broke me.
25
00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:07,241
That's what happens
when you enforce
26
00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:08,894
a "no nose picking"
policy.
27
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,244
I'm behind
on lesson plans,
28
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:11,723
but it's too early in the year
to show movies.
29
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,378
I'm doing LEGO day to catch up.
The kids love it.
30
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,206
I always end up
with LEGO toe.
31
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,121
Exactly. I've bought
so many packs,
32
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,731
LEGO owes me a sponsorship already.
33
00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:22,125
Man, this double class
is kicking my ass.
34
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,561
I need my extra-large
coffee mug.
35
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,259
Did you read
that article the other day
36
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:26,912
about how matcha--
actually more efficient
37
00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,740
at awakening the nervous system
than coffee?
38
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:31,395
Oh, yeah? Was that in
Who Gives A Crap Weekly?
39
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,223
It was in The New Yorker.
40
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,269
Oh, so
Who Gives A Crap Biweekly.
41
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,927
Damn. It's more intense in here
than my at-home float tank.
42
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,451
What y'all doing?
Prepping.
43
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,801
Mm. Working before work?
Couldn't be me.
44
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,759
Anyway, here's a reminder
that some goofy group
45
00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,761
is coming through to do
camp songs or something,
46
00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:52,242
so check the schedule
to see when your class is up.
47
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:54,679
Holy Shakespeare!
48
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:58,248
Jacob, we can't afford
for you to have a seizure
49
00:01:58,292 --> 00:01:59,641
during school hours.
50
00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:03,253
Guys! These are
the Story Samurai, okay?
51
00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:04,994
They're a storytelling group
that goes all up and down
52
00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:08,302
the East Coast improvising
plays based on the kids' ideas.
53
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:10,434
I used to be in it.
54
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:13,002
Of course you were, sweetheart.
55
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:17,180
The Story Samurai are like
a book come to life, okay?
56
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:19,182
But the pages
are the performance
57
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:22,446
and the illustrations
are, like, the lyrics.
58
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:26,711
We help the kids see that
everyone is a story, okay?
59
00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:30,019
Look, I don't condone violence,
but it slaps.
60
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:31,281
I think it sounds amazing, Jacob.
61
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:32,978
I love it
when they come.
62
00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:34,806
You get to drop your kids off
at the auditorium for an hour
63
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,461
- and just catch up on work.
- That part.
64
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,463
Oh, well, then I may be
a really big fan
65
00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:40,638
of these Samurai-sitters.
66
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,162
You're gonna want
to see this.
67
00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:44,294
It's-- It's not like
some wack puppet show.
68
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,470
Plus, this is like
a whole new tour.
69
00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,646
It's gonna be
brand-new material.
70
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,518
It's very subversive,
you know?
71
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,781
And really cool.
Like me.
72
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:57,089
Janine, Gregory,
y'all pulling up?
73
00:02:57,133 --> 00:03:00,180
Yeah.
I'll walk over.
74
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,703
Yeah.
75
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,531
Alex and Jordan.
76
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:05,533
Oh, Natalie.
I'm sorry, honey.
77
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,491
You are in
my third grade now.
78
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:09,493
You were in my second grade
last year,
79
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,322
and now you're in third grade,
which I also teach. Okay.
80
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,324
I told you, we got an aide
if you need it.
81
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,674
She's got this.
She's a veteran.
82
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,850
Veterans don't need
that help. Exactly.
83
00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,939
You save those aides
for the young'ns.
84
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,854
Alright, well, don't say
I didn't try to help.
85
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,682
Everybody say young Ava
is unreliable,
86
00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,510
but even a broken clock
is right once a day.
87
00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:29,383
- Twice a day.
- Whatever!
88
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:30,862
Um, you know,
it's a little tough.
89
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:33,213
But you know what?
Barbara's right. I'm tougher.
90
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:36,041
I'm so tough, brass knuckles
wear me to a fight.
91
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:38,261
- Ooh!
- Oh. Excuse me.
92
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,871
What? What?!
93
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:43,223
Keyon! Quit huffing
the Wite-Out, dude!
94
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:45,703
Samurai. Ha!
95
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:49,229
May we have a suggestion
for a character?
96
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,360
Meek Mill!
97
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:51,883
Ah.
Nice one, Clarence.
98
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:55,931
What if Meek Mill...
was a meerkat?
99
00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,541
Why?
100
00:03:57,585 --> 00:04:00,065
I'm just a meerkat, strolling
through Western Philly.
101
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,241
But it's not a story
102
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,372
unless there's some...
103
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:03,939
Conflict!
104
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,985
What's Meerkat Meek Mills'
conflict?
105
00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:10,293
His ATV broke down
in the wrong hood!
106
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:13,078
Wrong hood, Meerkat!
Wrong hood!
107
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:15,255
This is too corny, even for me.
108
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,908
But Jacob loves it,
so thank goodness
109
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:19,084
it's in his past
and he isn't up there.
110
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:20,564
I get it, though.
111
00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,087
If my "Degrassi"
reenactment group
112
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:24,916
showed up and performed here,
I'd be excited, too.
113
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,397
Shout-out to the guy
who played the original Jimmy.
114
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:30,748
Wonder what he's up to. Heh.
He is-- He's Drake.
115
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,402
I'm aware that he is Drake. Yeah.
116
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,665
I expected it to be corny,
but that was beyond anything
117
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,101
I thought was
theoretically possible.
118
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:38,843
I know.
It was peak Jacob.
119
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,324
Oh, Melissa, I bet that you
would love the Story Samurai.
120
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,760
Oh, yeah,
I just dropped my kids,
121
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,327
and I got, like,
two lesson plans to do.
122
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,764
And that beep means
I got an hour left
123
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,810
and I still didn't go
to the bathroom!
Okay.
124
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:50,812
My class in here, please.
Thank you.
125
00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:52,422
Y'all see that corny show?
126
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:54,294
I was in the back crying
while bootlegging it
127
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,425
for barbershop distribution.
128
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,035
Guys,
it wasn't that bad.
129
00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:59,777
I can't wait until
it's my class's turn.
130
00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:01,605
Mr. Johnson just told me
that they've got
131
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:04,347
some white boy doing
the Malcolm X Games.
132
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:05,957
- Oh, my God.
- He did an ollie and said,
133
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:08,308
"Plymouth Rock
didn't land on me, dude."
134
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,353
Guys, just-- Guys.
135
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,791
Tschoo! Story Samurais,
we slice down barriers.
136
00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:16,794
If you need a story,
we're in your area-er.
137
00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:17,839
Hey.
Huh?
138
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,319
What did everyone think?
139
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,885
Did you see how excited
the kids were?!
140
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,844
- It was great.
- It was incredible.
141
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:25,629
I honestly cannot wait
to see it.
142
00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:26,978
I told you
it was gonna be bomb!
143
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,458
You really think
I would be a part
144
00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:29,981
of something
that wasn't bomb?
145
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:31,331
Well, it was something.
146
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:32,462
Something
that you can be
147
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:35,378
very, very proud
you did in the past.
148
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,467
Well, the past
has become the present,
149
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,861
because the Samurai
have asked me, Jacob Hill,
150
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:41,689
to join
the afternoon show.
151
00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:43,386
- Wait.
- And you said yes, right?
152
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,083
- Yeah, of course I did.
- Oh, no.
153
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,868
- Fantastic!
- Yes.
154
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:48,870
Hey, and if you guys thought
the Malcolm X Games was cool,
155
00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:51,351
just wait till you see
Rosa Parks and Rec.
156
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:52,526
Hey, Siri.
157
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,179
Clear my afternoon
and set a reminder
158
00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:57,008
to watch this boy
embarrass himself.
159
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,488
Janine, let me borrow your phone
so I can go live
160
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,534
on IG and TikTok
at the same time.
Uh--
161
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,753
It's our duty to spread this joy
to the world, y'all.
162
00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,668
It's tough times out here.
People need the laughs.
163
00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:06,104
The people need the laughs.
164
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:11,762
Hey.
I got your Slack.
165
00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:13,503
By the way, thanks
for being the first one
166
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,853
to use the Slack channel
I set up two months ago.
167
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,420
Anyway, what's up?
168
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:18,856
Um, I just wanted
to talk to you
169
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,250
a little bit more about
this Samurai business.
170
00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:22,904
It's exciting, right?
171
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,035
Oh, 100%.
172
00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:25,559
I'm sure back when
you were performing,
173
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:28,562
you were riveting, blowing
tiny minds left and right.
174
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,433
Guilty.
Yeah.
175
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:33,871
Off that, though,
my concern is,
176
00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:36,700
what if you kill it
too much?
177
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:39,573
Kill it too much? What?
I'm not sure I follow.
178
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:43,707
Well, it's just you were
so good at it, you said,
179
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:46,884
and this is a new generation
of Samurai.
180
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,582
They need to feel good
about themselves,
181
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:51,062
and they probably
can't compare.
182
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:53,108
You don't want to
upstage them, do you?
183
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:57,155
Wow. Janine, I didn't
even think of that.
184
00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:00,463
See, this is why
we're friends.
185
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:04,119
Thank you...
for seeing me.
186
00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:05,599
You got it, bud.
187
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,905
Alright, well, Slack me if
you got anything else, okay?
188
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,820
You know, you can
customize the emojis.
189
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:10,778
Mm-hmm.
190
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:17,088
Second graders, who can tell me
which clock says 3:30?
191
00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:18,002
- Thank you.
- Ooh! I know!
192
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:19,787
We learned this
last year!
193
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,571
Okay, thank you, Jameel, but you
gotta do your worksheet, okay?
194
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:22,790
- They gotta answer.
- I have a question.
195
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,139
Yeah. Honey,
hang on one second.
196
00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:25,619
- I can help you!
- That's a preparation--
197
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:26,968
No, no, no, no, sweetheart.
198
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,448
You stay on
the third-grade side, okay?
199
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:29,579
You just let them
do their thing.
200
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:30,754
- Ms. Schemmenti?
- Yes?
201
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,582
Bul tied his shoe
to the desk.
202
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,106
He did what?
Oh! Oh, no.
203
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,456
Ms. Schemmenti,
can I borrow you?
204
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:37,631
Oh. Let me see this.
205
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,589
Okay.
Second graders only,
206
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:40,764
can you tell me
207
00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:43,593
which clock is saying 3:30?
208
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,203
What the heck
did you do here?
209
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:47,641
- Look. Are-- Are you okay?
- I know, I know, I know!
210
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,599
Jameel, what are you
doing on this side?
211
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:51,209
Go back to
the third-graders side.
212
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:53,777
But I knew the answer, so I came
to the second-grade side.
213
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,692
Okay, well, go back
to the third-graders side.
214
00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,128
Okay. Are you good?
215
00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,956
Oh, me? I'm... fine.
216
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,001
I got this.
217
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,524
Okay.
Okay.
218
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,134
Desiree.
Where are you going?
219
00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:05,659
Third graders get to go
to the library by themselves.
220
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:07,225
You're not
in the third grade.
221
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,836
Depends where you sit.
222
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:13,318
Okay, anybody else in the class
sitting on the wrong side,
223
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,146
switch.
224
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:16,670
What?
225
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:25,505
Um, I will be right back.
Please stay quiet. Thank you.
226
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:26,854
Quiet.
227
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:29,683
Hey! What's up?
228
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,554
Just saying hi.
229
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:33,556
Oh. That's nice.
230
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,384
Hi. How's your day?
231
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,646
Surprisingly smooth.
232
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,169
I got through 90%
of animal habitats,
233
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:40,345
even though it's been a bigger
bathroom day than usual.
234
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:41,695
Mm.
235
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,697
For-- For the kids,
not for me.
236
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,220
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah. How's your day going?
237
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,569
Uh, my day is good.
238
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,571
Um, taught
- the two times table.
- Oh.
239
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:51,705
But I did convince Jacob
not to perform.
240
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,533
Thank goodness.
241
00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:55,186
That girl
isn't ruining this for me.
242
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,536
She can be so selfish.
243
00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,189
Like last week,
when she wouldn't pretend
244
00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:00,104
to be my daughter at McDonald's
so I could get a Happy Meal.
245
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,020
So you just told him
that it's corny
246
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:05,240
and that eventually we will
all end up making fun of him?
247
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,851
No. Better.
I told a fib.
248
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,418
To protect his feelings. Ah.
249
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:12,464
Jacob just puts so much
thought into how he's perceived.
250
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:13,683
And it doesn't hurt anyone,
251
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,685
so I figured,
why burst his bubble?
252
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,687
For one, it could stop him
from inviting us
253
00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:20,255
to his "Living Single"
rewatch parties.
254
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,040
It's like, dude,
you're in a relationship.
255
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:24,738
I don't--
I don't get it.
256
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,130
But he does get
some good guest speakers.
257
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:27,610
He got the guy
who played Kyle--
258
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,483
Oh. Melissa?
Are you okay?
259
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,398
Yes.
260
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:34,574
Okay.
261
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,015
Good.
262
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:45,889
You like
that cheesesteak?
263
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,761
We got it
from the corner store.
264
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:49,893
People write off this area
as a food desert,
265
00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:52,243
but the culinary scene here
is so slept on.
266
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,593
It really is.
267
00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,725
So, listen,
I am honored
268
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:58,162
by the invitation
to perform with you all,
269
00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:01,296
but, uh, I think
I gotta sit this one out.
270
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:04,255
Man. Are you serious?
We were so stoked, Sensei.
271
00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:06,780
Yeah, we still talk about
your legendary performances.
272
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:10,653
- You are our dopest alumnus.
- Other than Josh Gad.
273
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,263
-- Oh. Josh Gad.
-Josh Gad.
- Yeah. Olaf.
274
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:15,092
I am flattered, truly,
but I got to keep
275
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:18,269
my Story Kimono
up in the rafters, okay?
276
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:19,662
What's up, Mr. C?
277
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:23,013
Hey, Clarence.
Meet the Story Samurai.
278
00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:26,451
Nah. I'm good. Yep.
279
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:27,627
You catch
"Last Week Tonight"?
280
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,367
You know it.
281
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,108
Yeah.
I bet you did.
282
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:33,763
I'll see you in history,
Mr. C.
283
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,156
That's what
it's all about, dawg.
284
00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:38,289
Connecting with the kids.
That's why we story.
285
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:39,682
That's why we samurai.
286
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:40,944
It's true.
287
00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:42,946
You guys should consider
working in a school,
288
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,513
you know, full-time,
when you're out.
289
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:47,864
I don't know. I was planning
on auditioning for "SNL,"
290
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:50,127
or if not that,
a YouTube channel.
291
00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:52,956
Yeah, I'm gonna work
at my dad's hedge fund.
292
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,697
In a school like this,
293
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:57,134
you're kind of like
a firefighter for joy.
294
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,702
You want to get in,
spray as much joy as possible,
295
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:00,834
and then get out.
296
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:03,706
Big news,
Abbott Elementarians!
297
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,665
I am calling
an all-school assembly
298
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,710
so that we can watch
our own Mr. Hill
299
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:10,017
perform with the Story Samurai.
300
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,409
It'll be like
watching The Game
301
00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:13,716
perform one night only
with G-Unit.
302
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,326
You got this, Mr. C!
303
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,067
- Yeah, you do.
- Heh.
304
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,549
I'm so excited
about your performance.
305
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:22,725
I'm stretching so I don't
throw my back out laughing--
306
00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,248
I mean, learning.
307
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:27,077
Are you ready to swing
your story sword?
308
00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:28,557
Yes.
309
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,515
And, uh, you're gonna be
live streaming the whole thing?
310
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:31,734
Oh, yeah!
It's gonna open
311
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,040
a whole new corner
of TikTok for me.
312
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,346
Well, I so appreciate
you using your platform
313
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,044
to amplify our message.
314
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,352
Hey, Jacob.
You aren't performing, are you?
315
00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,006
Because we already
talked about it.
316
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,182
And remember?
No upstaging the Samurai.
317
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,271
Yeah, but it's a whole
school assembly now,
318
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,578
and, you know, the kids
are gonna be expecting
to see me, so, uh...
319
00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:52,537
Yeah, he don't want to let
all those kids down, Janine.
320
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:55,192
I know what you're doing!
321
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:57,368
Good, 'cause I worry
about your awareness.
322
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,764
Hey, Jacob, can I see you
for a second in the hall?
323
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,723
Just real quick.
324
00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:07,596
Don't listen to her!
We believe in you, Jacob!
325
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:12,253
Hey, what's, uh--
what's going on?
326
00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:15,082
Um, I'm not sure--
327
00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:17,780
I don't think
you should perform.
328
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:20,391
Look. I get it.
You think I'm rusty.
329
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:21,741
But don't worry.
330
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,220
It's-- It's muscle memory.
You know?
331
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:26,093
It's like when
I ride a unicycle--That's enough.
332
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:28,748
Jacob, Ava just
wants you to perform
333
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,924
so that everyone
can laugh at you.
334
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,795
What?
335
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,884
Yeah, they're gonna laugh.
They're gonna laugh with us.
336
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,886
It's a pretty biting satire.
It's--
337
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,888
No, no.
They're going to laugh at you,
338
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,064
because, Jacob,
the Story Samurai
339
00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:43,284
are corny as hell.
340
00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:46,809
How could the Samurai be corny?
I was in it.
341
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,469
I'm c-corny?
342
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,952
Jacob, you are...
343
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:01,998
corny sometimes... yes.
344
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:03,913
Wha--
345
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:06,089
Wait. Uh-- No.
346
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,918
I have Kendrick Lamar on vinyl.
Okay? Is that corny?
347
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:11,268
Look, and the Samurai
are not corny, okay?
348
00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:13,618
They performed
at a Bernie Sanders rally.
349
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:14,924
Without his permission.
350
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,970
And those things
can be corny.
351
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:19,624
Look, Jacob, at the end
of the day, I'm corny,
352
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:22,540
and at the beginning of the day,
too, but I don't care as much.
353
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:24,368
Okay, but that is different,
because you are
354
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,022
- African-American.
- Dit-dit-dit!
355
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:29,634
See, when you said "African,"
that's corny. It just is.
356
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,855
Look, you are a white teacher
in a Black school.
357
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,988
I am not Hilary Swank
in "Freedom Writers."
358
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:37,468
You are Hilary Swank
in "Freedom Writers."
359
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,949
You are Michelle Pfeiffer
in "Dangerous Minds."
360
00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:41,864
You are
Sandra Bullock in--
361
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:42,952
In "Bird Box"?
362
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,998
In "The Blind Side."
363
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:47,174
Too far.
Too far, I know.
364
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:49,393
I'm sorry about that.
I know.
365
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:50,873
But my point is...
366
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,049
you cannot do
this performance.
367
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:54,964
You will never
live it down.
368
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:56,313
I'm just trying to help.
369
00:13:56,357 --> 00:14:00,317
You don't want to be
a corny legend.
370
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:04,539
Jacob, hair and makeup
are ready for you.
371
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,324
You know what, Ava?
372
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:09,326
I don't think
I'm going to do the performance,
373
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,024
and, um...
374
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,896
By the way,
would a "corny" person
375
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:17,030
stage a one-man show
called "The Color Urkel"?
376
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:19,859
Did you do that?
Then yeah.
377
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:29,216
Damn it, Janine! Pop-Tarts
was sponsoring the stream!
378
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,353
Oh.
Melissa?
379
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,529
Is this
your handiwork?
380
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:41,706
Ooooh!
381
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,056
He looked at me funny.
382
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:46,886
Oh, you have been dealt
an impossible situation.
383
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:47,930
Aw, come on.
384
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,889
Nothing's impossible
for us.
385
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,934
I have known you
a long time,
386
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,284
and you are
an amazing teacher.
387
00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:57,200
This is no reflection
of your teaching ability.
388
00:14:57,244 --> 00:15:00,377
Yeah, but, you know,
you said it yourself.
389
00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:01,683
I got this.
390
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:04,381
I believe in you,
so I know that you could,
391
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:07,036
but just because you could
doesn't mean you should,
392
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,473
and I shouldn't have
made you feel that way.
393
00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:14,130
Huh! Give me two classes,
girl, I'd be in Jamaica. Mm!
394
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:17,220
Yeah, there was a moment
when I mentally transported
395
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:20,441
to Capt'n Chucky's Crab Cakes
in Ocean City.
396
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,095
Aww.
397
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:25,925
This school district offers you
absolutely nothing,
398
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:29,232
and the mere fact that they
are offering you something
399
00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:32,061
is all the proof
that you need.
400
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:34,759
Yeah, maybe having an aide
wouldn't be so bad.
401
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:38,938
And in the meantime,
I know exactly what you need.
402
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,636
A bathtub
full of Prosecco.
403
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,116
A laugh.
404
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,509
Okay.
405
00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,990
So, wait.
- Jacob isn't performing now?
- No.
406
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,079
Y'all gotta stop playing God
with that boy's life.
407
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,428
Oh, no, no, no, no.
408
00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:53,691
I truly convinced him this time
to let it go.
409
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:56,129
I told him the truth,
which I feel good about,
410
00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:57,608
but I also feel
kinda bad about.
411
00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,349
Well, did he really
want to do it?
412
00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:00,785
Uh, yeah.
413
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:03,266
He was over the moon
and back,
414
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:06,008
but I'm just trying to save him
from embarrassment.
415
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,488
He was gonna
look like a fool
416
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:10,099
in front of the entire school
and the Internet.
417
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,841
But he does that weekly anyway.
It's who he is.
418
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,365
I mean, if we like him for it
and he really wanted to do it,
419
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:19,152
I don't see why you would
stop him from being him.
420
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,806
Stay in the line,
y'all.
421
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,025
I'm Megan!
422
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:25,288
I'm Harold!
And I'm Tyrone!
423
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:27,551
He just ruined my favorite
Erykah Badu song.
424
00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:30,641
And we are
the Story Samurai!
425
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,339
Hi-ya!
426
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,471
I thought you were gonna
go up there, Mr. C.
427
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:37,300
Well, Clarence, I-I didn't
want to steal their thunder.
428
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:38,649
Ohh.
429
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,173
It would've been mad funny
to see you up there.
430
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,478
Cut the corners of the bread.
431
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:44,177
Can we get a suggestion?
Anyone?
432
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,179
We call him Mr. C
because he's corny.
433
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:49,008
But I like his class.
It's fun.
434
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,662
He showed us that movie,
"Summer of Soul."
435
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,577
That was good. He's cool.
436
00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:56,667
- Tapenade!
- Ooh! Dijon!
437
00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:58,234
I have a suggestion!
438
00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,323
Who thinks Mr. Hill
should get up there?!
439
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:04,327
Yes, yes!
440
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,166
Okay.
Can I get a suggestion?
441
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:19,516
- A tiger.
- I heard "tiger."
442
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:23,346
Okay, because I'm a tiger
with stripes and big teeth,
443
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:26,523
people are conditioned
to think I'm scary.
444
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:29,091
The villagers
judge and harass me
445
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,050
based on how I look.
446
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,052
What is my conflict?
447
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,357
Your dad thinks
you're a bum!
448
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,186
Bum, bum, bum, bum.
449
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:40,363
Okay, okay.
Yeah, I want to sell cereal,
450
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:43,236
but my tiger dad wants me
to stay in the forest.
451
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:45,803
Is he using a cereal
mascot to describe
racial discrimination?
452
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,762
Mm-hmm.
- That's what he's doing.
- Okay.
453
00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:50,721
I was born to help make
a balanced breakfast.
454
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:53,811
These stripes are feeling
like prison bars!
455
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:02,733
I'm sorry. I've just
never been so inspired.
456
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:05,910
Son, I support
anything you do.
457
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:07,564
I just think
you need one thing
458
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:10,611
so people know
you're a friendly tiger.
459
00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:12,439
This red handkerchief.
460
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:17,139
Thank you, fam,
for helping me be who I am.
461
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:21,100
Who I am.
462
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,450
Who I am!
463
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,409
Whoo!
464
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,762
Nice! Nice! Nice!
465
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:34,765
I know who I am.
I see it.
466
00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:38,943
I am Jacob Hill,
and it turns out...
467
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:39,988
I'm corny.
468
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,859
Corny isn't bad.
469
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,298
It just is.
470
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,517
- Yayyy.
- Aww.
471
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:52,174
Jacob, that was
actually incredible.
472
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,176
Actually,
it was corny.
473
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,438
But the kids loved it.
474
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,440
I do think the trust fall
to represent
475
00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:59,355
our own appropriation
was a bit much.
476
00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,965
I mean,
I would have dropped me.
477
00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,621
That was so corny,
I gained 2,000 new followers
478
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:07,668
during the stream, including
Josh Gad, whoever that is.
479
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:09,365
When you guys
Voltron'd yourselves
480
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:12,629
into a Black Shaun King,
I-- I died. I did.
481
00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:15,502
- And the singing.
- And those outfits.
482
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:18,200
Your curly-ass hair.
483
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:20,202
That's--
That's just my hair.
484
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,291
- Bravo, Jacob. Bravo.
- Good job, man.
485
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:23,684
- Yes, yes.
- Nailed it.
486
00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:24,989
- You got it.
- You did that.
487
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,600
Made my day.
488
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:31,866
You think they'll ever get
how corny they are?
489
00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:34,912
Not a chance. They'll never
stay in one place long enough
490
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:38,742
to connect with someone
who will tell them the truth.
491
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:41,310
They're missing out
on the best part--
492
00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:42,703
connection.
493
00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:44,183
Hey.
494
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,924
Can you get your corny asses
out of here so I can clean?
495
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:49,927
Go on and get.
496
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:52,191
- Okay.
- So your request for a teacher's
aide has been filled,
497
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,844
and they're sending one
over today.
498
00:19:53,888 --> 00:19:55,063
Ohh!
499
00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:58,240
A Ashley Garcia
from Frankford.
500
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:01,025
Eh. Frankford.
That's a toss-up.
501
00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:02,331
Gotta admit,
never thought I'd see
502
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,246
the Melissa Schemmenti
asking for help.
503
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,335
Okay, Ava, I'm not
in the mood, right?
504
00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:08,555
I'm just in the mood
to get some help.
505
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,034
When-- When's she
getting here?
506
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:13,212
Well,
it look like she's here now.
507
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,039
Okay. Why are you
making the face?
508
00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:17,346
โช Waiting for Ashley
509
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:18,739
โช Ohh-ohh-ohh
510
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:21,263
โช I'll be the aide
of your dreams โช
511
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,526
โช Waiting for Ashley
512
00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:24,962
โช Ohh-ohh-ohh
513
00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:28,227
โช You'll get help
with your class needs โช
514
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,533
โช Waiting for Ashley
515
00:20:30,577 --> 00:20:33,623
What's up, Melissa?
I'm Ashley.
516
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:34,885
Oh, wait.
517
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:36,235
The boombox wasn't on,
518
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,759
so the song probably
didn't make sense!
519
00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,369
That was Jennifer.
520
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,066
Lopez.
Lopez. Mm-hmm.
521
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:44,243
Yeah.
Let me come back in.
522
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:53,252
โช Homework is the jam,
homework is the jaaaam โช
523
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:56,559
What are you doing?
524
00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:59,562
Oh. Just waiting out
their cool down.
525
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:02,261
Not in the mood
to be improv-ed at.
526
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:04,480
You don't think--
527
00:21:04,524 --> 00:21:06,090
I mean, they have to
be virgins, right?
528
00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:07,266
Stop it.
529
00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:09,442
I'm serious.
Oh, no.
530
00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:12,923
Can we get
a suggestion?
531
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:14,621
Yeah. Beat it!
532
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:19,930
Oh, you might be right.
533
00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:22,106
Hey! I'm calling
the police!
534
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:23,325
Whoo-hoo!
37238
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