Original subtitles

Ned Lewis.

Who?

My bank?

A guy from my bank?

My bank sent some guy over.

God, I can't be that far overdrawn.

All right. Yeah, tell him I'll be right down.

- Ned Lewis? - Yeah.

Lenny Brown. Can we talk in your office?

So you're from Manufacturer's Hanover Trust?

No, where did you get that idea, Ned?

I thought you told Johnny...

I told Johnny I was from Equity Appreciation Associates.

Maybe he got the idea that was a bank, but I'm no banker, Ned.

I want to talk to you about saving $250,000 on your income tax this year.

Is this a joke?

Cattle feed is highly leveraged.

The write-off this year is 4-to-1.

It's all been blue sky and it's perfectly kosher.

Look, I made $28,200 last year. I'm just a working stiff.

No, I was talking about the interest income

from that money your father gave you.

What money? My father didn't give me any money.

Your father is Edward Lewis at Dreyfus, right?

Where'd you get an idea like that?

My father's a professor at CUNY.

This girl you went out with, she works with my wife.

- She mentioned you. - What girl?

She said your father was some famous guy about money

and I put two and two together.

Teaches economics. Hardly famous.

You don't know anybody who could use

a $250,000 tax shelter, do you?

Not personally.

I'm such a schmuck.

Sorry. Wrong me, I guess.

Thanks for not jerking me around, you know.

I leave a piece of my soul on the floor

every time I do this song and dance.

No problem.

Go out like a battleship,

come back like a raft. Thanks.

You've really got a 4-to-1 write-off?

That's what they tell me.

Hey...

Can I buy you lunch as my way of apologizing?

No, that's okay, really.

Please, I'd like the company.

Yeah? Okay.

It's just so funny. I got the...

I could never be in sales.

It hurts your feelings too much when you get turned down.

Sometimes I get discouraged, maybe even a little depressed,

but you got to shrug it off.

I could let it get to me, go around fractured,

But thank God I got somebody at home.

She won't ask, "Did you make the sale?"

She'll just give a hug and a kiss and I'm whole again.

Len, you're a lucky man.

Ah, I know that.

I keep reminding myself. You got a wife or anything?

No, nothing.

You'd have to take second best anyhow.

If you saw Linda and me, you know, at a restaurant like this

you'd say, "There's a mismatch."

I've seen it in people's eyes.

"How did a guy like that get a girl like her? He must be rich."

Not that I'm not trying.

You know, here's the funny part.

Money doesn't mean a thing to Linda.

It's nice to hear somebody talk about his wife that way.

You know, most of the guys I know, they put their wives down all the time.

Would you like to meet her?

Yeah, sure. Sometime.

You could come to dinner. Here's my card.

- So, what do you think? Tonight? - Tonight?

- Yeah, dinner at our place. - You're sure?

You don't want to check with your wife?

I'll tell her I met a guy, invited him to dinner. She'll say, "Great, no sweat."

You'll wonder how a schmuck like me

Wound up with a beauty like Linda.

Funny way to start a friendship,

me thinking you were someone else, huh?

Well, back to the salt mines. Got to catch a cab.

Thanks for lunch.

Anytime. See you tonight, okay?

- Right. - Bye-bye.

Linda?

Linda, Ned is here.

Welcome to CasaBrown. Let me take your coat.

Linda, Ned is here.

It's still raining, huh?

Linda? Oh, Linda.

This is Ned Lewis of the Financial Journal.

Hello, Ned.

Pleased to meet you.

- Was I right or was I right? - You were right.

Is she, like, the most beautiful girl you ever met?

No question.

He loves me.

What do you do?

I'm a paralegal at a corporate law firm.

Sounds interesting.

Dull as dishwater.

Lenny's the talent in the family.

She's being modest. You should see her dance.

You dance?

Does she dance? She dances like a dream.

I wanted to be a ballerina. I guess most little girls do, but...

No buts about it.

You'll have whatever you want.

That's a promise.

I'm happy just taking classes.

Uh, I'm a little too old to be a professional.

Now, I bet you never heard a beautiful girl admit to that, huh, Ned? Huh?

So, how long have you been with Equity?

Oh, Equity Appreciation Associates.

Well, I'm not really with them.

I'm freelancing. I do PR work, some favors here and there.

The problem with EAA is they won't give me any decent leads.

That's how I wound up barking up your tree this morning.

Lenny told me about the mistake.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

He was sort of counting on that sale...

- Honey. - ...to break into the business.

That thing doesn't mean anything to Ned.

Does it?

- What kind of thing? - Hustling for money.

You're above all that, writing for a big paper and everything.

I worry about money, Lenny, just like everybody else.

But you got some backstops.

You start falling down that well...

You got some slats across to catch yourself, all right?

I saw a funny thing on the bus today.

A man got on with a French horn...

You got your professor father.

You got an education.

You got the Financial Journal. You can't fall too far.

The bus driver wanted the man with the French horn to pay an extra fare

because the French horn took up so much room.

My old man's an ex-printer on disability.

My mother is a secretary for the Ladies Garment Workers Union.

So the man with the French horn,

he said that he would play a concert

for everybody instead, and he did...

I got a high school education!

...all the way across 86th Street.

It was beautiful. I cried.

I drank too much wine.

You only had two glasses.

You're just tired.

Work too hard.

Yeah.

I'm a little tired, I guess.

What do you think of Ned?

He seems very nice.

I wonder if we could get a little blurb

in the Journal about Manny's Pizza Parlor.

You know, how he started.

It's a great success story.

Lenny, you can't ask him.

It's the Financial Journal.

It'd be worth a grand.

My heart falls in on itself when you look at me like that.

Lenny...

I love you.

It hurts me to see you belittle yourself.

I know.

You're right.

Sometimes I think I can't cut it.

No matter how hard I try, like, I'm in quicksand.

And the more I struggle...

The deeper I sink.

It'll be all right.

Don't ever leave me.

Silly, I'd never leave you.

I know things look bleak.

Things are not bleak, Lenny.

I'm very happy. Don't you know that?

Just stick with me...

Please.

Till I fall off the Earth.

Come to bed.

Make love to me.

Good morning. Hallis-Richardson.

May I say who's calling?

One moment, please.

Mr. Rogers on 7.

Good morning. Hallis-Richardson.

Shit.

Please hold.

Reception.

Yes, Mr. Hallis.

They're ready for you, Mr. Brown.

Thank you.

- Ah. Mr. Brown. - Call me Lenny.

Gentlemen, Mr. Brown has applied to be

our sales rep on the Connecticut project.

Tell us a little bit about yourself, Mr. Brown.

Gentlemen, I won't bore you with the reading of my resume,

some of which is even true.

I assume you all know how to read.

Besides, we're born again with each new project.

And all your past successes and dean's list semesters don't cut much ice

when it comes to the big question:

will it sell?

Then tell us, Mr. Brown. Will it sell?

Sure, oh, yeah, it'll sell.

Over the life of the partnership,

I guess everyone will enjoy some small tax benefits,

realize a nice, safe, though modest return on their investment.

You don't need me for that.

But will it soar?

That's another question.

And I'm afraid the answer is no.

When your aunt Peggy and the cousins get off the train,

you're not gonna rush them over to this mall,

Because you don't really identify with it. Sure, it's quaint, I guess.

But it's also boring.

People struggle against smallness all their lives.

Let them identify with something big.

You got a duplex theater here. Show "A" or show "B." That's it.

There's a place in Toronto that has 17 screens.

There's another one in Beverly Hills...

Connecticut is not in Beverly Hills.

Everybody wants a taste of Beverly Hills, even in Connecticut.

Especially in Connecticut, believe me.

You want people coming to your mall,

not just because they can buy things here

that you get cheaper somewhere else.

You want them to have an experience.

You know what I mean.

You didn't stand a chance, kid.

Thanks. Excuse me for breathing.

Nothing personal.

You had vision, talked a kind of poetry. It scared them.

These guys wear suspenders and belts.

I should've told them what they wanted to hear,

Give less than I got,

but I can't give less than I got. I don't know how.

My name is Max Sherman. Let me buy you a drink.

Thank you.

Cheers.

Got family?

Uh, a wife.

We haven't had time to have children yet.

Yeah, me neither.

So, where are you from?

I got a couple things out here, some stuff in Texas.

My major operation is California, Southern California.

You live out there?

I live where the money is.

You don't think this New York crowd

would have anything to do with me

unless I could move millions of bucks around, do you?

Your wife work?

Yeah, she has a great job.

Yeah, lucky for you, huh?

I do all right.

Everything I do is just a lot chancier, that's all.

Yeah, you just probably haven't found

the right products yet, the right territory.

Got any suggestions?

LA, Southern California.

Real estate that won't ever go bad.

Every year in LA,

there's this whole crop of people

who never had money.

And this year, they made a ton of it.

And then they find out that the government wants half.

"Whoa, what's this?"

Yeah, that's where I come in.

You got to know a little about taxes and, uh,

limited partnerships.

But most of all,

you got to know how to sell.

You're describing me, Mr. Sherman.

Well, did you ever take a vow to stay in New York?

Los Angeles is a great place.

We don't have any friends in Los Angeles.

We don't have any friends here.

We have each other. We'll still have each other, you and me.

Linda, this is my big chance.

What about my job?

You're not gonna work in LA.

For a change, I'll be supporting you. You can dance.

No no, we should... Maybe we're going too fast.

We should just take this a step at a time.

The hell with that. You don't step through life. "Teacher, may I?"

It goes too quick for that. You got to leap through life!

What about our apartment and all our stuff?

This dump? This junk? You think I'll take this crap to LA?

We'll get new furniture that's right for LA!

You think a successful man in LA

asks his wife to park her behind on junk like this?

Forget about it! Come and get it!

- We're out of here! - Are you crazy?

Come on! Are you with me? Let me see you leap!

Flight 701, Honolulu

is now in final boarding.

Lenny, look.

All passengers please proceed immediately to the gate.

I'm Lenny Brown.

Yes, sir. Mr. Sherman arranged for your car.

May I carry your bags?

Thank you.

- Coat? - Oh! Thank you.

Come this way, please. Just follow me. Excuse me.

Mr. Martin, Mr. Anthony Martin,

please meet your party at B-5, baggage claim area.

Oh.

Mr. Brown, would you hit the "play" button

on the cassette machine, please?

Thank you.

Welcome to LA.

Sorry I couldn't pick you up myself, kids, but business is business.

I had my girl fix you up in a little place in the Hollywood Hills.

I think it'll be comfortable for you.

She's laid in some food and vino,

so you should celebrate if you feel like it.

Tomorrow, at 9:00 in the morning, we work.

In the meantime, unpack, relax, have a swim.

"Have a swim"?

There you are!

You thought you were gonna be next to an air shaft.

I wonder what they're all doing tonight.

Who?

The poor people of the world.

It's like a dream, isn't it?

Want to wake up?

No, never.

Me neither.

Last one to the other side loses.

If everything works out...

Which it will.

...there's only one thing I want.

Anything.

I want a baby.

Take two, they're small.

I mean it.

Can we? If everything works out?

You would make such a terrific mother.

Are you serious, really? Would you want to?

We can go through the motions.

She's a heartbreaker, kid.

Didn't I tell you?

Can you see her with me?

My mother used to say,

"There's a lid for every pot."

Down to business. Did you do your homework?

I'm ready.

This is it.

The appreciation on this particular building,

because of the proximity to the harbor,

the good air quality and ample parking,

is going to outstrip most comparable properties.

The write-off for the purchase of the building and the conversion of the offices

Should run 2-to-1 over the seven-year investment.

We've had a ruling from the IRS

classifying us a limited partnership,

but for tax purposes, and since most of your

deductible losses will count towards this tax year,

it's really a question of giving money to Uncle Sam

or owning a percentage of prime property.

What's the price per?

$20,000 a unit, Dr. Shapiro.

All right, Lenny, I'll take five units.

You're in. Dr. Bishop?

I'll talk it over with my wife.

It's going to be a very popular offering.

We can't guarantee there'll be any units left...

All right, five.

Great. By Friday, the partnership should be fully invested.

A 2-to-1 write-off this early in the year as solid...

Lenny, you already sold it. Don't buy it back.

Bonjour. This way, please.

Enjoy your lunch, Mr. Sherman.

- Yes, thank you. - You're welcome.

Been here before?

This is my table.

Any guest comes with me, he knows where I'll sit.

Look around you. A lot of tables, right?

Wrong.

Five tables.

All the rest of the people come here to eat.

Food's pretty good.

Those tables...

Strictly for Michigan.

The people probably read about the place

from the hotel magazine.

These tables...

Ray Tucker,

manages the money for half the Rams, all the Raiders,

everybody you ever saw on TV,

5% off the top.

Carter Davis, oil.

Ricky Holtz, builds airports.

Doc Gertz, used to be a chiropractor, now he produces movies.

And me.

We don't come here to eat.

So, what are you saying, Max? I shouldn't order any food?

Eat, eat. Just don't look hungry.

George?

Hello.

I have Mrs. Brown on the phone, sir.

Oh, thank you.

- Hello? Hello? - Hi.

Hi. Hi. You still love me?

Who was that?

My secretary. You ready for that?

I don't know how to act around her.

I'm afraid she'll tell me I'm doing something wrong.

How's your office?

We could live in it. Guess how much money I made in the first hour on the job today,

how much I earned for us?

- I don't know. - Just guess.

- $100. - Try $5,000.

That's impossible.

I swear to God, people here, baby, can't wait to lay off their money.

I had two doctors that didn't wait for my whole pitch.

They were in too big a hurry to go generate more money!

It's not to be believed!

God, why did we take so long to find this place?

We're gonna be rich, you hear me? Rich!

I like what you did in there, kid.

You put in a good day, made a good dollar.

We can go home, and have our drink.

Like the house?

Beautiful, Max. Thanks a lot.

It's only rented by the week.

Out here, you gotta start scoring baskets right off the bench

or you're out of the game.

Don't worry about me, Max.

This is the work I was meant to do.

You can sell, no question. You got an instinct about that.

You know, selling's more important to me than money.

Every time I sell something, it means somebody believes in me.

Right.

First month, build a little bank account.

Then after that, I expect you to pay your fair share of the rent, okay?

- Okay, Max, no problem. - All right.

This isn't your car.

Excuse me, this isn't his car.

No, it's yours.

You need a car in LA.

You expect me to be your chauffeur?

Go on, get behind the wheel.

Jesus!

Max, this is a Mercedes!

Don't have a coronary. It's only a lease.

Down the road, if you want to buy it, I'll make you a good deal.

In the meantime, enjoy it.

I don't know what to say, Max.

That's a first for me.

Get behind the wheel.

Yes, sir.

You can find your way home?

Yeah, I think so.

He thinks so. Go on, get out of here.

Tomorrow morning, 9:00 a.m.,

- we'll make some more money together. Right? - Right.

Got a new guy, huh, Mr. Sherman?

Yep. This one could be a keeper.

This is my spot.

A girl comes to dinner with me, she knows where she stands.

- Still there? - What?

- The Mercedes. - What Mercedes?

You think that's funny?

Okay, don't ever do that to me again.

There'll be a bank on the corner here,

We're negotiating with B of A.

Over at that end, a frozen yogurt joint,

fish and chips next,

dynamite new Mexican franchise,

and a possible fitness and aerobics center,

which is nice 'cause it brings in traffic.

I'll put in $75,000.

Great. I'll need a check.

I'll pay cash.

Cash?

What kind of business are you in, Bob?

Leisure activities.

...three, four, en seconde, one,

two, three, high tight kick,

and five, six, seven, to plie.

And one, two, three, four.

En seconde, one, two, three, tight kick,

five, six, seven, plie...

♪ Happy birthday to you

♪ Happy birthday to you

♪ Happy birthday Love of my life ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you

Thank you. It isn't my birthday.

Excuse me, ladies.

Who says it isn't? Sorry. Excuse me, sorry.

Come on.

Excuse me.

I love you so much.

- Now... - What?

You remember? The James Bond movie?

- Yeah. - Remember?

How you went crazy for the car?

Oh, Lenny!

Can we afford this?

I don't know.

I had to work a whole month to buy it.

Oh, Lenny!

It's beautiful!

Ooh!

- He's adorable! - She is.

- Where did you get her? - City pound.

I got you a $40,000 car and a $2 mutt. Go figure.

Hi.

Here's your ticket.

You didn't tell me there'd be valet parking.

I didn't know. Classy guy.

Where's he get his money?

Washing cars.

Lenny Brown!

You made it, man! Good, good, how are you?

Joel, this is my wife, Linda.

What else?

A real person, and lovely to look at.

I'm charmed right out of my socks.

See?

Hey, everybody!

This is Lenny Brown, who is so hot,

he's gonna make the rest of us look like welfare mothers.

And his charming wife...

- Linda. - Linda.

Eat, drink, make contacts.

Where did you say you met him?

Oh, he bought into a deal.

He's a young guy with 42 car washes and mega tax problems.

Want to eat something? Here's a little buffet.

He throws a nice party.

What's really nice is Uncle Sam pays for half.

And he wasn't even invited.

I'll, uh, call you tomorrow.

I just made a sale.

- That's good, Lenny. - Good?

My commission's going to be $26,000.

While you were sipping a glass of wine,

while I was munching, like, a handful of macadamia nuts.

He's talking to a friend of his.

Suppose the friend wants in. Don't look.

God.

You okay?

I feel a little out of place.

You are.

You're the best-looking woman here.

People here are a little strange.

Talented people can be strange.

The discretionary spending power at this party is enormous.

- Then maybe that's it. - Come on.

You're not enjoying yourself? Come on.

I'd rather be home with you. Is that so terrible?

- Lenny! - Michael.

Have you met Rochelle yet? She lives with Joel.

I am not living with Joel.

I'm a stewardess for a major airline, mister.

Sometimes I stay here when I'm in town,

but I do not live here.

Excuse me. My mistake.

You think I have to depend on people like Joel?

Listen, pal, I've been on planes

with people who took me out to dinner,

then I let them take me back to their hotels

and the next morning, they took me to Cartier's

and told me to pick out anything I wanted.

And I'm gonna live in LA with Joel Miller, who thinks he's a rajah

because he's got a couple of car washes?

Give me a small fucking break!

I think Lenny and Linda were on their way home, Rochelle.

Say good night, princess.

Good. Go home.

Goodbye. Good night. Get fucked.

Call me a schmuck, but I love the little bitch.

It's, uh, it's the coke talking, guys.

You wouldn't... You wouldn't know her when she's straight.

I got to keep her away from the coke,

got to keep her away from Michael.

Life, a continuous struggle, huh?

Good night, Joel.

Take care, kids.

Thank you.

I didn't know she was whacked out on coke.

They were all on something.

Thank you.

I didn't see anything, did you?

You didn't have to see anything.

Money's the real drug around here, okay?

Thank you.

Nice house though.

So I thought the old lady was lost.

I mean, she was wearing this, like, babushka

and this thing you would throw over an old sofa.

She wrote a check for $150,000, I got the message.

So, I sent over to Berlitz for some guy who could speak Farsi.

An hour later, she's a partner, all handshakes and smiles.

I got the printers working overtime

because of you, turning out brochures.

Nobody reads them.

They read them.

Come on in.

You're late.

Hi, Max.

- Hey! - Hi, sweetheart.

What's going on? What are you doing here?

"What's going on?"

That's the problem with the younger generation.

No sentiment.

One year ago today, you started here.

To my best salesman and his beautiful wife.

Oh...

It's been a wonderful year.

You don't miss New York?

Sure, Max, maybe someday we'll go back for a visit,

if I can ever find the time.

Find time to play, kids. Find time to play.

It's funny you should mention that.

I bought a plane today.

You mean like a "fly in the sky" plane?

It's a good tax write-off,

Plus we finance it and I get to write off the interest as well.

A man needs his toys, Linda.

It's just a prop job.

Who's gonna fly this plane?

I'll hire a guy.

I'm just trying it out to see if I like having my own plane,

then I'll go onto a jet.

It's fine, Lenny. Just fine.

- Okay, Cabo San Lucas. - Ole.

Some Mexican food, maybe a little business.

Let's fly.

Taxi! Taxi!

Por favor!

Bueno!

Okay, I could have just said, "Cabo."

Cabo, Cabo.

Cabo San Lucas.

All right. How are you doing, pal?

The port!

It takes $100,000 to get in on the bidding.

No problem.

I think this place could be a gold mine.

It's non-refundable, Lenny, if you back out.

Joel, I don't back out of things.

I know. I just feel I got to tell you.

I'm in.

Gracias!

Buenas noches!

I got a hunch we can get our money

out of that joint in the first year.

You never know, Lenny, there's a risk.

I don't think either one of us is looking for a passbook,

savings account kind of investment.

I'm looking for a free toaster.

Cabo San Lucas is gonna be bigger than Puerto Vallarta.

The big bucks will roll in the winter.

So, let me ask you this.

Why are we taking in partners? What's wrong with just you and me?

Michael's put in $150,000, there's a few shortstops who have signed.

I guess you could buy them out,

But they'll want a little profit.

So? Fair enough.

Half a million ought to cure it for you.

Half a million?

No, bad idea, kiddo. Spread the risk. That's the smart move.

Joel, I can swing it, man.

I just got to rearrange a few things, you know?

- You're about a mover. - Yeah.

Okay.

We should've stayed over.

The whole idea of going to Cabo San Lucas

for dinner is to come back the same night.

Any postal worker

can go to Cabo on a weekend excursion.

Ah!

Caramba! I find it.

Oh, God, I'm so tired.

Hi, Mitzi.

- Lenny? - Yeah.

Uh, about that nightclub...

Yeah, how about that? We can have our own joint.

Everyone in the world wants to own a nightclub,

but we're actually gonna do it. It's so great.

I know, and I think I know what it means to you,

but we're behind on the American Express bill...

- Oh, Linda. Linda, please. - ...and on top of the airplane...

I mean, even after all this, you think I'm a bum?

I'm making money so fast over at Max's, they can't keep track of it.

Everybody in town thinks I'm a firecracker

and my own wife still thinks I'm a bum.

Lenny...

I think you're a genius.

I just don't want you to feel like you're on a treadmill,

having to make more and more money

to pay for things we bought that don't really need.

The way things are going,

the money going out won't be missed if it never comes back.

When you get to where we are, nothing can touch you.

And you're with me. We're together. We're like a team.

You think I would ever

let anything hurt you?

Ever?

Good morning, Veronica, Pat.

Good morning, Alice.

How are you?

Hi, Max.

Ahem.

Okay, so who died around here?

So when do you show up at 10:00 like a banker?

Hey, Max, what happened? A deal fell through?

We're getting audited? What?

You don't read the Journal?

You ought to read the Journal.

Well, so the lawyers will find a way around it.

It's not even close to passage.

This may never happen.

- You don't get it. - What's to get?

To get is, I've been on the phone for an hour

and no one's returning my calls.

To get is, so far this morning, while you're playing banker,

Shirley has taken 11 calls from investors who want out.

To get is, three other lawyers have called saying

they got to have their deposits back by this afternoon

or they're gonna find any angle to sue on.

We're in deep shit.

It's starting to sink in.

Mr. Michures, we made a deal.

Your client is committed.

Hey, even if they didn't allow a deduction

for dollar one, it'd be a great investment.

Believe me, Vic, you're gonna get the write-off.

Some asshole in Washington

is just trying to start a panic, that's all.

Don't tell me about your lawyers because...

Vic? Vic? Hey, don't! Wait, Vic! Vic!

Sorry to call so late, but I had a chance...

How's it going, world-beater? Any takers?

Hey, can I just put you on hold for a second, please? Yeah. Thank you.

Man, people are spooked, Max.

They don't know how to handle rumors.

They'll come around, right? They've got to.

Why is that?

Because everybody wants California real estate.

Don't they?

Sure, they do.

But they don't want it from us,

With us taking 20% off the top,

unless it's got that tax break.

Without that,

why should they want to buy a shit house from us?

Oh, don't take it so hard.

This is the first scare we've had in this business.

If nothing else happens in the next couple of months,

maybe six months...

we could be back to speed.

You mean it's going to be six months before we have any money coming in here?

Worse.

We'll have to dig into the piggy bank,

save that option on the La Cienega property.

Ought to kick in for the overhead here.

Think of it as a vacation.

Take a trip.

Spend some of that heavy money you've been making.

And me, I'm gonna go home.

And I'm gonna have me a drink.

And then I'm gonna have a hot tub.

All right, so we got us a rainy day.

Can't go on forever. Good night, kid. Don't forget the lights.

Good night, Max.

Hi, Doctor. I'm sorry I kept you on hold.

Hello?

Lenny Brown speaking.

Lenny, have you forgotten the party?

What party?

Have you had a bad day?

Joel's party! Oh, shit!

Hey, we don't have to go.

We have to go. I'll be home in half an hour.

Joel's...

Earth calling Lenny.

Linda, don't try to be cute, not tonight.

You like it when I'm cute.

Is it business?

Yeah, it's business.

Whatever it is, we're gonna be all right.

What?

Yeah, it must be nice.

If it's money, we can cut back.

I can go back to work. I'd like to, anyway.

It's boring doing nothing all day.

Boring?

I've been busting my balls out there so you can live like a queen,

and now you tell me it's been boring?

It must be bad. You hardly ever start a fight.

It's bad.

We're several hundred thousand dollars in debt,

and we got no more income.

How?

Let's not go.

Let's go home. Let's hold each other.

That's what they expect us to do,

to lie in the shadows and lick our wounds.

They'll know I've been beaten.

Hey, even if they have to take everything,

if we have to go bankrupt,

we still have each other.

Linda, I'm scared. I'm scared.

Baby, we'll make it

as long as we have each other.

I wanted you to have everything.

Lenny.

Come on.

Lenny! Linda!

I'm glad you came.

Uh, hey, buddy, can you spare a dime?

Seriously, Joel,

could you lend me a little something

until my brother straightens out?

He's a hunchback.

See? Didn't I tell you?

You can't keep a good man down.

This guy doesn't cave in because of the fucking media.

He's already into something else, huh? Incredible.

So, do we party?

Yeah, absolutely.

Talk to me, Lenny. I'm your pal.

It's closed down. Nobody's doing any business, Joel.

I'm in deep shit.

You don't sell real estate deals.

You sell Lenny Brown, right?

That means you can sell anything, man.

Airplanes, computers, this shit.

Go ahead, help yourself.

No, I never touch the stuff.

It'll take you off your ass.

Joel, I don't know anything about computers or airplanes, man.

I'd have to start all over again.

What is this negative talk?

You're killing the old fireball.

You need a boost, kid.

You need to clear away the cobwebs.

Joel, I got enough problems, all right?

What? Do you think it'll be habit-forming?

Do you think you'll have a monkey on your back?

It's a boost. That's all.

Come on. It's a tough track we're on, boychik.

The winners always have an edge.

It's 90% mental out there.

You accomplish what you trick your brain

into believing you can accomplish.

Faith may move mountains. This stuff makes them fly.

If you've never tried it, you're the last one in town.

What's the problem? Was there a problem?

See this guy here? You know that park in Beverly Hills?

I'm gonna build a statue in that park with a plaque that says,

"To my best friend, Joel, who saved my life."

What are friends for?

Must have been some pep talk.

Was there a problem? You know,

you don't have to know the product, you have to know the people.

Who knows people better than Lenny Brown?

I'm going to sell 747s internationally.

Look.

That's wonderful, Lenny. How do you get started?

Can you imagine the commission on a 747?

You're gonna wonder "What was Lenny Brown doing, pissing away his time

on petty real estate scams,

wondering what some bureaucrat

was gonna leak to the papers in Washington?"

Cocktails. Want another drink? Another... Yeah, come on.

Dance, ballerina, dance.

What?

Sweetheart, I'm exhausted.

Let's go to bed.

One more dance.

The neighbors. I can't keep my eyes open.

They've discovered a cure for that.

Lenny, is that what I think it is?

Don't turn little old lady on me, okay?

It's Joel's. I needed a boost.

You saw me before the party, right? I wanted to be dead.

Now I got my old energy and confidence back.

I got plans to get us out of this mess.

But cocaine, we never needed that before.

Hey, come on. You know what it's like?

It's like good champagne, that's all.

What's it do to you?

It bumps up your natural energy level.

Look.

Look at that, see?

I've watched Rochelle.

All it does for her is turn her into a real bitch.

That's Rochelle. She started as a real bitch. Here.

You sniff this up. If you don't like it,

throw the rest in the pool.

Hi, honey.

I got it nailed down. I've got the greatest idea

for a medical and dental leaseback plan. It's fail-safe.

No matter what happens to the new tax law, the crisis is over.

Whoo, great!

You want to sell helicopters?

It's not the money, Max, you know?

I just got to keep working. I'll go stale.

What about that leaseback idea you had?

Nobody liked it.

Okay. We're not selling buildings now,

but we sold a lot of buildings.

They all need maintenance,

which happens to be done by a company

called Century West Maintenance Company.

- Yours. - Mine.

Want to manage that?

Get a small salary, keep using the car.

Once in a while, a free lunch on the account.

Things will pick up here. We'll be back where we were.

You don't want to sell helicopters. That's for losers.

Mr. Brown, how nice to see you.

Nice to see you.

Right this way, please.

Thank you.

What can I say? It was a period of reorganization.

Now it's time to come out and play.

Isn't that sweet?

We owe our friends a nice meal and the pleasure of our company.

Always a pleasure. I love you guys. Good table.

- Thank you, Roland. - Enjoy your evening.

Could we have a bottle of Taittinger? Make it a magnum.

Certainly, sir.

Ooh.

And after dinner, a little surprise.

I love surprises. I'm like a child.

He is a child. We're all children.

We are going to fly to fabulous Las Vegas

for Steve Martin's midnight show.

Well, excuse me!

I knew you wouldn't cool off for long. What's the deal?

Something new, right? Something you'll have to explain to a dummy like me?

Something, maybe, real?

Let's just say... Thank you very much.

It involves plays of eurodollars against oil shipments.

Holy shit, you've left me behind, buddy. Eurodollars?

You got to give the impression you're in motion, right?

Even though he knows what you're doing, you must make him think

you're doing something.

Something mysterious, complex.

- You know? - Yeah.

Big-bucks something. Just keep in motion.

One small question: who's paying for all this?

I dipped into Max's maintenance account... - Lenny!

For about $20,000. Don't worry. It's nothing.

He's not going to hold it against his best salesman.

- So I took a little cash for a few months. - Are you sure?

I left a personal check in the safety-deposit box.

Believe me, this is not a problem.

Yeah.

A worthless, goddamn check!

What are you getting hysterical about, Max? It was a loan.

In all my life, I never treated anyone like I treated you!

You were poor, I made you rich.

You were drowning, I gave you a yacht!

You stole from me.

I treated you like a son. $20,000!

You want another check? I'll write you...

Your check is no damn good.

You want to be a liar as well as a thief?

Tell me what to do.

Just tell me, Max.

You got to go. I can't have you around here anymore.

Hi, Tony.

Mr. Brown.

I'm sorry. The leasing company took away your car.

I cleaned out your personal stuff. I've got it in the office.

Thank you, Mr. Brown.

Tony...

Thanks.

Mitzi!

You didn't see a little black and white dog, did you?

No, ma'am.

You didn't see a little black and white dog, did you?

Nuh-uh.

Mitzi!

Mitzi!

Put it anywhere.

Is it ready yet?

Come and get it.

I miss my puppy. I was thinking what a great...

Lenny! Lenny!

Dr. Murcat.

He's going to be all right.

Oh.

Your husband's had a phase 2 reaction to cocaine.

How long has he been using the drug?

Cocaine?

Do you know how much he took?

Dr. Guettier.

My husband doesn't use drugs.

He doesn't even drink anything stronger than wine.

He'd been at a party.

Somebody must've slipped him something.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Honey.

I was so scared, but I didn't tell them anything.

You didn't use any of that stuff, did you?

- No. - Did you throw it out?

Of course I did.

I couldn't find Michael. I had to buy it off the street.

That's what happens. And I'm supposed to be smart.

What about the hospital bill?

Outright thieves. I put it on the American Express card.

You got any?

You got any?

Yeah.

Where did you get it?

From Michael.

Good. Great.

Great.

He wanted to fuck me for it.

Son of a bitch! I'll kill him, man!

Don't look at me like that. I'd never do anything like that.

So how did you pay for it?

I hocked my ring.

What time is it?

12:30.

He's not here.

He said he'd be here at 12:00.

I know he said he'd be here at 12:00.

I was the one who talked to him, remember?

I wonder when it was you started talking to me that way.

You want to wait?

Do you?

Maybe we should try someplace else.

Let's go.

Lenny.

Shh shh.

We don't even know this guy, man.

He's a total stranger to us, man.

We got to go. They're going to call the police!

They say somebody dumped him on the back porch.

I'm not going to live like this!

I don't care if Joel is rich and I'm poor.

It doesn't matter that everybody else has money.

I'd rather be a field hand than live in this cesspool.

What's happened to us?

We got to get out of this goddamn town!

Out of the hustles, and the deals, the Joels,

and the coke and the goddamn pain!

This isn't just talk, is it, Lenny?

You saw that kid back there. That could have been us like that.

Then I can tell you.

What?

I'm pregnant.

I thought I was going to have to get an abortion,

the way things were going.

But we can have this baby, can't we?

If we go to a regular town, clean up and be good parents?

Everything changes.

As of today, I won't fail you again.

Morning, Lenny!

Morning, Mary.

Looks like a good one, huh?

Yeah.

We were the first store in California to stock that board.

- Really? - Yeah, 4-ounce glass.

Light as a feather. Feel it.

That goes through waves like it's got a mind of its own.

State-of-the-art, kid.

This is one bad fucking rail, huh?

The baddest.

- You buying? - You finance?

"'I made a mistake when I left my wife, ' he told a pal.

'I wanted the good life. I thought that meant

wild parties and fancy living.'"

You mean it doesn't?

Did you ever go to any movie star parties when you were in LA?

No, we traveled in different circles.

Had some wild times, huh?

- Not like here. - Yeah.

What kind of job did you have?

Oh, I didn't work.

What did you do?

I...

I took dancing lessons.

Shitfire, we're gonna be late.

Hurry up, Linda!

- Oh, man. - It's great, huh?

Yeah, it's great.

You know, I told Mr. Hendricks you'd be hard to replace.

Why Australia?

They got really good beer there.

I ought to keep moving.

I know you got to work to live,

but if you play it right, you can work a lot less

and live a lot more.

Besides, chicks dig my accent.

Ah, how did you get to be so smart so soon, Tim?

No, thanks.

I'm sorry, I forgot, you don't ever touch the stuff.

Never.

Does Linda? How's she doing?

She's doing great.

It was my problem. She got into it because of me.

So I go to the meetings.

They help me, I help her. It all works out.

I got a going-away present for you.

- Here, buddy. - You're kidding!

No. You sell them so well,

I figured it's time you learned how to ride one.

What's the problem?

No, with the exception of my wife,

I don't think anyone ever gave me anything

without working an angle for themselves.

Thanks, Tim. I'm going to treasure this.

Sure.

I gotta go.

I'll send you a postcard from Down Under.

When I'm back this way, we'll ride some waves together.

Take it easy, Lenny.

Thanks, Tim.

Hey.

Hey.

Look at this.

You going to surf?

Tim gave it to me! Hi!

Delores has a boyfriend.

What?

His name is Richard.

He has a brother who lives in Sequoia.

Yeah? Where's that?

Like, every couple of weeks, he drives a pickup truck

in the window of his brother's house.

Dolores says it's because he's always fucked up on Maui Wowie.

We talk about it all the time.

Sweetheart, would you like to go out tonight, instead?

Yeah.

I'd like to go to that little Italian place

near 2nd Avenue on 72nd Street.

God, you're homesick.

I'm not complaining.

I didn't realize.

I thought it was perfect here.

It is. It's perfect.

If we go back to New York, it'll be the rat race all over again.

I might just as well go back to LA.

I just miss...

I don't know what I miss.

Just...

Interesting people.

Dancing.

At least we had friends.

It's all a smoke screen, right?

Come on, you're up there building some huge-ass development

with Aetna or somebody, right?

Like a new city or something?

Joel, I manage a small sporting goods store.

I make $400 a week, and I work hard for it.

Don't kid me, slick. I'm going to grab Rochelle

and come up and check you out.

Any time. I gotta book you a room at the Howard Johnson's.

All we got is a small one-bedroom apartment.

Ha ha ha. You're an original, kid. I'll give you that.

Take it easy, Joel. Give my love to Rochelle.

Hey, give it yourself. We're on our way. Adios, amigo.

I didn't know he'd invite himself up.

Well, you know Joel.

Odds are he'll never make it.

The way you make your money is,

you go short against the soybean

but long on the soybean oil,

or maybe it's the other way around.

Anyway, it's called a "straddle." Protects the downside.

Uh, hey, listen, I'll catch you later, Ron.

Wait, wait. Don't lose the pulse rate, man.

A little TLC, He'll be as good as new.

Doc, do you know anybody who might want a dog like this?

I can't have a dog in my apartment.

Not offhand.

You could put a note on my bulletin board.

Maybe just for tonight or for a few days

You might know somebody who could just keep him just a little while,

just so he's nice and taken care of?

Hey, I don't believe it!

You got knocked up!

It agrees with you. You're more beautiful than ever.

Lenny's not back yet.

Same old Lenny. Too busy to stop.

And that's Baxter and Miss Porter.

And this guy's Milton McNeil.

Once they've all had a good sniff of each other,

you'll see they'll get along famously with your poor friend.

Yeah. Hello.

Okay, but only one line, because of the baby.

This late in pregnancy, coke doesn't make any difference.

Who told you that?

A mother of three!

I've been real, real good in Santa Cruz.

"Here lies Linda Brown. She was real, real good."

Not even wine or coffee.

Oh, well, you can be our designated drag.

There. You happy? You happy now?

Seems like old times.

Was I out of line? I apologize.

Shut up! Both of you.

I'm sorry. I better get going.

Listen, in the next few days, I'll find somebody

to take care of this little guy.

Want to talk about it? I'm a super listener.

Mini crisis. If we get through tonight, we'll be okay.

Oh, God, I can't believe I'm doing this.

I am such a dirty girl.

Such a naughty girl.

Good, clean fun. Even Rochelle's being nice.

Dolores and her Maui Wowie boyfriend, and Helen and her...

Joel, now what about your cock? Is it big?

Whip it out!

Linda, I'm offended.

I don't like this. Lenny's going to be incredibly pissed.

Let's close the store and get some air.

There's a beach around here somewhere, right?

This is really great. This is really living.

Smell that air.

We can go down to the beach.

Super! How do we get down?

From a duck's ass.

That's a joke, right?

There's a little stairway that the surfers made. I'll show you.

Here it is.

This is like an adventure, like when I was a kid.

Lenny and I...

- Linda! - Oh, God.

She's okay, right?

She's okay, right? Talk to me, Rochelle! Is she okay?

She just tripped, right? God damn it! She's okay?

She's okay, right? She's going to live, right?

Is she okay? God damn it, Rochelle! Is she all right?

She just tripped!

Hey, pal. Look, Lenny, I don't care what they say.

It wasn't the coke! It was only an accident!

- I'll kill you! - It was only an accident!

Kill you! Fucking kill you!

- I'll kill you! Get off of me! - Lenny!

I'll kill you, you motherfucker!

Okay, okay.

Where is she?

Where is she?

Where is she?

It happened, but I love you.

I'll always love you.

We'll be together,

and later, when it's all better, we'll have an...

Another baby.

We weren't ready. We were fooling ourselves.

And...

And I should've seen it coming.

I mean...

Anything, Linda.

You and me, together.

Hey, Mr. Brown.

You're up pretty late. What can I do for you?

Joe, I hear you deal.

I need some downers.

I got some ludes.

Real ones. Send you away.

That's where I want to go.

- How much? - -$350 a month, or $100 a week.

In advance. Fall three days behind, you're out.

- What about a dog? - What about a dog?

We have one.

A dog would be an improvement over most of the people here.

We'll take it by the week.

We're home.

Linda.

I can offer you a permanent position.

Thank you, but my husband doesn't want me working full-time.

Well, if you change your mind, just let me know.

Thanks very much.

Bye, now.

Honey.

Uh.

Honey boy?

You think there's a way left we can, you know...

still make a life for ourselves?

Is this what it's going to be like from now on?

We gotta get off these fucking downers, man.

I know. How about today?

Absolutely.

All I need is a plan. One decent maneuver.

It'll all come together again.

That...

I'll be in the big bucks.

That isn't what I meant.

It'll be like this all happened to somebody else.

- Who is that? - Mark.

Oh, it's Mark.

Mark, come in!

You ought to lock this door. This isn't exactly a security building.

Hi, Linda.

Come on in.

Hi, Mark.

I got your ludes.

It's nice having me live only one floor away, huh? You get speedy delivery.

They're the real McCoy.

It's $50, Lenny.

Yeah, honey?

The bank?

Hey, why don't you sub-contract for me?

You could make a profit for yourself

and, uh, have a little spending money on the side.

I don't deal drugs. I deal real estate.

Hey, hey, I don't deal drugs either. I'm a screenwriter,

But until the ship comes in,

you got to cover the waterfront, you know what I mean?

Here, Mark.

Well, I got to get goin', uh,

get upstairs,

dirty some typing paper. Ciao.

They're the real thing.

That was 20...

Jesus, no, it was 25 years ago.

I was the top call girl in Vegas.

Back before I moved to this burg and started dealing coke.

Had it all before I got busted.

Lost all my old customers.

The stars, the politicians, all my connections.

...are incorporated in this state.

What is Delaware?

You're right.

Hey, good one, bud.

Listen to this. He has $12,000...

I know your hooter is hollowed through, but...

I still recommend coke

Over all those downers Mark's been feeding you. Those things are dangerous.

I'm going to knock off everything

once I put my plan into operation.

Stick with coke. Don't mix your chemicals.

Could you get that for me, honey?

$72,000? Jesus!

...$72,800. Join us next time out. So long, everybody.

Hey.

Lenny, I thought you might be here.

Hey, Linda.

Could I see you two guys, uh, in private for a minute?

Sure.

Are you ready for this? I sold my script!

You did?

Oh, Mark, that's great news!

$50,000!

$50,000? That's a respectable score.

Yeah, all we got to do is dot the I's and cross the T's.

I was wondering, would you celebrate with me?

We'll go to Musso's, all on me.

I can't. I got some important papers. I got a deal pending.

I don't want to celebrate alone. It's my big day.

Lenny, could I go?

Yeah, sure, if you want to.

I'll only be a minute.

You sure you can't make it, Lenny?

I told you, I got business. I can't just drop everything, all right?

Yeah, okay.

You know what I'm gonna do tomorrow?

Buy a car. An Alfa Romeo.

Are you serious?

White exterior, red interior, AM/FM, cassette.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Oh.

Now, isn't this better?

All right.

There's a good one.

I just need a little boost, then it's back to work.

Yeah, I hear you, sweetie.

Hi.

Long dinner, huh?

He's so excited.

I helped him make his acceptance speech for the Academy Award.

So he's going to be rich, huh?

He hopes.

I brought you home half a steak and fries. I thought you'd be hungry.

In a doggy bag?

You were invited. You could have come, too.

You would've loved that, wouldn't you?

I wanted you to come!

So, did you fuck him?

Lenny, don't!

You fucked him for dinner

and then brought me the leftovers in a doggy bag?

Stop it! What are you trying to do, get even? For what?

- Linda! Linda! - No! No!

I swear, I'm sorry!

Linda, I... I don't know what happened.

Fucking coke! I was freebasing with Barbara.

I had to get back to work. I was so miserable!

I just wanted to make it right again,

make it like it used to be. Linda!

I will never hit you again! I didn't mean it!

Linda, I love you.

Linda!

I know you didn't mean it.

I love you more than... I've ever loved anyone.

I feel the same way. Don't you know that?

I'd never do anything to humiliate you.

I'm gonna make it right again.

Sweetheart, I really am working on something this time.

I wasn't gonna surprise you. I wanted to tell you.

Some big guys, really big guys,

Guys who think big, you know, like I do,

big guys from New York, who want to set up the right thing in California, right?

I found out from an old contact.

You don't know him, but I'm telling the truth.

I did some research on these big guys.

It turns out they're in bed with the Saudis.

They're buying up office buildings, shopping centers.

You know, I start doing my work, I start thinking, like,

"What's their biggest problem?"

Looking for an angle, then it comes to me.

A way to structure their deal

so it won't look like the Arabs are buying up the country,

which is their biggest problem, yet making sure they wind up holding the money bags.

So, here's my idea. I structure this mess of little partnerships

in which the average American or mom and pop are limited partners with the Saudis,

who put up huge hunks of money

so that mom and pop are at minimal risk, and they look like the good guys,

sharing the opportunities of this great land with Mr. and Mrs. America.

It's a great, great idea.

So I got a call in to this main guy.

This is my big chance.

It's my second chance.

I'm just a little tense.

Sounds like a good idea, Lenny.

Oh, it's going to put me on top again.

Come on, Tucker.

Come on, just do it, okay?

Good boy, come on. Do it! Come on.

Come on!

Linda! The phone! Come on. Come on!

Can't you hear the phone? Linda!

Linda! Don't you hear the phone? The phone!

Shh, shh.

Advantage Equities. Good morning.

Mr. Brown? Who may I say is calling?

One moment, please.

William McConnell.

This is it.

Morning. Oh, Mr. McConnell.

I see. What did you think?

Well, when you do come to town,

my wife and I would like to take you and your associate, Mr. Zimmer,

to be our guests for dinner.

Uh, a week from tomorrow would be fine, yeah.

Elizabeth, a week from tomorrow, for four at Morton's.

It would be fine. It'll be great.

Well, good, I'll look forward to seeing you then.

Thank you, Mr. McConnell. Billy.

Great, okay, bye-bye.

They went for it! Yeah!

They're going to come out.

They'll drill me for some details, then it's business! Oh, man!

How can we take people like that to dinner?

Well, not out in the VW for take-out chicken.

Don't you sweat it, baby. That's my department.

All you got to do is be your beautiful self.

Roland!

Mr. Brown, how nice to see you again.

How have you been? I need something for tomorrow night.

It's important. I'd like my old table if possible.

I think we could arrange that.

Could you write it down?

I want everything to be perfect.

8:00?

Right.

Oh, thank you very much.

Thank you.

We'll see you then.

Come on, Linda. What are you trying to do, sabotage me?

I want to look pretty.

I'm trying to make a good impression.

Should you be doing that?

I'm just honing the edge a little. I'll be fine.

My God, you are a beautiful woman.

Too good for me. Always were, and always will be.

Even if I owned the world.

I'll tell you a little secret.

I always needed you more than you needed me.

Thank you for the lie.

I thought we were late.

Let's go. Let's rock 'n' roll.

Hey.

Good luck, you guys!

I'll take all I can get.

Linda, you look great!

Thanks, Mark.

When I sold my script,

I dropped a couple of ludes before the meeting just

to show them I didn't rattle. You got to look cool, man.

You got to give the impression that nothing can touch you.

Thanks anyway, but I don't rattle.

All the bad stuff that happened to us,

it's going to be like it happened to somebody else after tonight.

Yes, sir.

Mrs. Brown, I heard your husband was a very smart man,

but until meeting you, I had no idea how smart.

Why, thank you, Mr. McConnell.

You're a very lucky man, Lenny.

What can I say? I'd rather be lucky than smart.

Yes, sir.

Good evening. May I help you?

Yes, please. Where's Roland?

Roland is out sick tonight. May I help you?

Yeah, I'm sure he left instructions. My name is Lenny Brown.

This way.

Oh, no no.

You made a reservation. This way, please.

Thank you.

Here we go.

Sir? Sir? Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Uh, is this one of Roland's little jokes?

He promised me my usual table.

Your usual table?

This is where you stick the tourists.

Don't take me for some asshole!

Okay? Come on.

Sir, this is the only table we have available.

Now, if you'd like to wait, perhaps an hour?

No, this is fine. Thanks.

Very good.

Well, here we are.

Enjoy your evening.

I was a paralegal in New York for 11 years.

We've ordered you a martini.

Fine.

I was telling your lovely wife that I think your concept is brilliant.

Although I know your focus was on Southern California,

I think there's no reason why something like this couldn't be implemented nationwide.

Isn't that wonderful, Lenny?

- Uh-huh. - Provided we can minimize the risk

to our Saudi friends, tax-wise, especially.

If you put enough lawyers in a room with enough secretaries,

I'll come up with whatever you need.

To the project.

Ah.

We haven't been back to New York

since we came out here.

Lenny's been so busy. But we do miss it.

I suspect you'll be getting back there shortly.

We have to find a suitable place to celebrate.

Lenny, have you determined whether this is

a Section 355 transaction

under the new code?

What, they don't have any lawyers left in New York?

Yes, indeed. I happen to be one myself.

Mr. Zimmer, you're asking Lenny about things

that should properly be a part of the fine tuning. Why?

We know you're a smart guy.

We're talking about staking a lot of money

and our reputations on your husband's plan.

And everybody knows Lenny's a smart guy, too,

- But he's had some problems. - Mike.

I'm sorry, Lenny, Linda, Mike's timing's a little off.

You want to blame me for an IRS upheaval that decimated the tax-shelter business across the country? Fine.

Hey, I can take this plan to Genstar.

Lenny, we love the idea in its broad strokes,

but naturally, we did a quick background check, and there were some rumors.

Now, when we all get around the big table

and somebody waltzes in, starts telling stories about you,

we'd like to be able to tell him he's full of shit.

- Excuse me for... - Let's not go back to your Arab friends who wipe their asses with their bare hands

and have them get the wrong idea!

You sit there on your fat MBA, figuring out how to try to steal my idea

because maybe I won't fit in your club of Arab fucks.

This isn't my goddamn table. This is his first night. He'll be fired for this!

Lenny, what are you talking about? The table's fine.

We're just here to try to do some business.

You've been spending half the night creaming over my wife

while this schmuck humiliates me! I don't need you assholes!

I can get plenty of action on this idea!

Check! Get me out of this dump!

- Lenny isn't feeling well. - They think I'm a junkie?

I'll act like a junkie for them!

Lenny, we may want to come back here! Why don't you go home? We'll take a cab!

I'll drive you! I'm your servant!

I'm supposed to be nice to people like you!

His idea is good. Don't hold this against...

God damn it, Linda, don't grovel!

My idea's going to be on the cover of Fortune!

You know what these guys will be doing?

Carrying around some Arab's dick!

Linda! Linda!

Lackeys. Lackeys.

You had a deal made!

You could've been on your way.

You could have been on your way to New York and something real

but you threw it down a rat hole

because you can't think anymore! You can't feel!

My God, Lenny, you're so fucked up,

you don't even know the disaster you've caused!

I am sorry I lost the baby,

but you can't punish me any more than I've already punished myself!

- Oh, yeah? Shut up. - For God's sakes! Let's call it even!

I can't live like this anymore!

I'm going back to work full-time

and you are going back into a rehab program!

I am not going to watch you kill yourself

one minute longer!

Do you even hear me?

Goddamn cunt!

I'll kill you!

Listen, uh,

I'd like to put a guard on your door.

No extra charge.

Okay?

Oh, God.

I promised him!

I promised him I'd be there!

Linda, I'm sure he made a few promises to you, too.

But you don't want him around right now. It's dangerous for you.

Are you listening to me? It's dangerous.

It's not good for Lenny either.

If only we could talk, like we used to.

I love him so much!

I know.

God, Lenny...

Who are you?

- Lenny Brown! My wife's... - Your lady's...

I want to see her.

Please, Linda. Linda!

I'm so sorry!

Linda, I'm so sorry!

Linda! Linda! Oh, please!

Who's the guy?

Svengali, yeah.

Svengali.

From day one, this airy-fairy doctor

had this Svengali control over her.

Kept me away, got her to move in with him.

But you know what?

She still loves me.

She calls me up on the phone, asks me how I am,

says to me, "Lenny,"

in that way she used to.

I beg her to come back, but she says she can't.

It's the doctor.

He's got this hold on her, like Svengali.

But Lenny Brown does not give up.

One good maneuver, and Lenny Brown is back in business.

Clean up,

buy a house on the hill with cash,

get some decent wheels and get my girl back.

It'll be like...

it all happened to somebody else.

I don't know.

A couple of years ago, I never even

thought about tables at Morton's.

And then I lose my prospects,

My girl... My wife,

and God knows what

all because I went crazy

because I didn't get the right table.

Now what the hell does it mean

when you lose everything over nothing?

I don't know, Lenny.

I got to get some capital together.

It takes money to make money.

Which is why I'm gonna have to ask you to leave now, Ned. I got a customer coming.

Is there anything I can do for you?

Can you bring Linda back?

Just kidding.

Oh, Jesus.

It's so nice to see a face from the old days, Ned.

I won't lie to you. It's been kinda hard to concentrate

because I kind of miss having her around.

I keep turning to her, you know, to say things...

and she's not there.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, well...

I knew from the first time I saw her...

that if I could ever have her, I could never keep her.

I always knew...

that I would lose her.

And I was right, wasn't I?

- Goodbye, Lenny. - Hey, Ned.

Why the long face?

Now that you're writing for the Times, we'll run into each other.

LA is a small town.

Stick with me,

please.

Till I fall off the Earth.