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1
00:00:05,934 --> 00:00:08,936
Oh. Aah!
2
00:00:08,937 --> 00:00:11,147
Still not used to that.
3
00:00:11,148 --> 00:00:12,523
What's the square footage in this place?
4
00:00:12,524 --> 00:00:14,358
I could rent this in a
day if I were still alive
5
00:00:14,359 --> 00:00:16,194
and hadn't been hit by that bus.
6
00:00:16,195 --> 00:00:17,528
Yeah, you've said that, many times.
7
00:00:17,529 --> 00:00:19,322
You know, you don't
need to brush your teeth.
8
00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:20,615
There's already fluoride in the water,
9
00:00:20,616 --> 00:00:21,741
and that's how the
Illuminati tracks you.
10
00:00:21,742 --> 00:00:23,242
Well, lucky for you,
11
00:00:23,243 --> 00:00:24,577
you don't have to worry
about that anymore.
12
00:00:24,578 --> 00:00:26,162
You don't know that.
13
00:00:26,163 --> 00:00:28,403
- What?!
- Is it gonna be much longer?
14
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,779
We agreed when you moved in,
10 minutes of bathroom time,
15
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,781
and I got one in the chamber.
16
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,533
Give me a minute! That's gross.
17
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:35,826
Does he know about this whole deal?
18
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,161
No. Nobody does.
19
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,121
Are you crazy? They'd lock her up.
20
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,789
That's what happens to truth tellers.
21
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:41,999
I really got to tell Dennis
22
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,001
to stop giving me multiple
obituaries at once.
23
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,128
Come on! Who are you talking to, anyway?
24
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,547
Nobody. Just listening to
a very annoying podcast.
25
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:49,841
You know lying is a sin?
26
00:00:52,468 --> 00:00:53,844
How do you feel about all this, Father?
27
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,929
I'm very confused about
everything that's happening.
28
00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,807
- Mm.
- Maybe you should talk to an Episcopalian.
29
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:07,149
- Synced and corrected by actumaxime -
- www.addic7ed.com -
30
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,234
I can't believe they put you
in charge of this festival.
31
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:10,819
I know, right?
32
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,946
It's the newspaper's biggest moneymaker,
33
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:14,781
and usually, they give it
to, like, a section editor,
34
00:01:14,782 --> 00:01:17,367
and then I realized, yeah,
your girl's a section editor.
35
00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:18,660
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
36
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,537
Do they know your sordid
history with the festival?
37
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:22,539
- Mm.
- How when we were broke staff writers,
38
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,166
we would just steal
from all the vendors?
39
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,834
I still can't eat coconut shrimp.
40
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:28,128
Oh, I learned real quick not
to put skewers in your pocket.
41
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,129
I remember that.
42
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,884
Whoa. The IT guy got a blowout.
43
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:36,470
- Oh!
- Sam, I'm sure you don't mind.
44
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,222
I needed to find out what a Karen was,
45
00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,640
and I thought it might be a sex thing,
46
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,683
so I didn't want to Google
from my work computer.
47
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,560
Turns out it's a compliment.
48
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:46,438
Wow, you really got your
finger on the zeitgeist, Lexi.
49
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,231
I know. Oh! Bad news.
50
00:01:48,232 --> 00:01:50,025
Bistro Eleven has had to drop out of
51
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:52,277
- the food and wine festival.
- I know who could replace them.
52
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:54,154
Do you remember Nyam Mat,
53
00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:56,281
that Swedish-Jamaican fusion
place we were obsessed with?
54
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:59,242
Of course! Their jerk herring
got us through quarantine.
55
00:01:59,243 --> 00:02:01,954
Plus, they're really kind of on-brand
56
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,872
with what we were envisioning
for the event, right?
57
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:06,792
Chic, sexy, but in a
casual way, just like...
58
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,085
- Tilda Swinton!
- Tilda Swinton!
59
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:12,381
Ha ha, yes! I love Tilda Swinton.
60
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,049
She's so... gaunt.
61
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,342
Sam, you should come
over to my place tonight.
62
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,219
Dinner on me
63
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,388
as a little thank-you
for all of your hard work.
64
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,348
We can finalize the layout for the event
65
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,141
while sipping rosé and
mocking our husbands.
66
00:02:23,142 --> 00:02:25,811
Yes to that.
67
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,521
I am so sorry. Rain check on Cricket's?
68
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,481
Sure. No problem.
69
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,775
- I know you have a lot on your plate.
- Thanks.
70
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,610
Oh, if it helps, I bet I can get Cricket
71
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:35,028
to do a booth for her wine bar.
72
00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:37,197
That would help so much. Thank you.
73
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:38,198
How sweet.
74
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:39,616
Sam, why don't you come up to my office,
75
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:40,909
try out my new massage chair?
76
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,744
I had them take out the restrictor plate
77
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:44,246
so it really gets in there.
78
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:47,165
Mm! Great.
79
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:49,084
- Heh.
- Awesome.
80
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:51,503
Yeah, have fun in that massage chair.
81
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:52,838
Me and my sciatica will just be here
82
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:55,757
uncomfortably writing obituaries.
83
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:56,926
Oh.
84
00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:00,178
- Hey, hey.
- Mm-hmm?
85
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:02,222
Just sent you your next obit assignment.
86
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,474
Terri Lawrence, the
puppet lady from the '80s.
87
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:05,726
- OH.
- Hi.
88
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,811
I'm Ham Hock.
89
00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:10,314
Oh, great, a puppet lady. Awesome.
90
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,982
Oh, I'm more than a puppet.
91
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,275
I'm a friend!
92
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:19,698
Oh, Nell, I would love
to do your festival.
93
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,408
Honey, Monty and I used
to do them all the time,
94
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,410
and we'd have so much fun.
95
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,162
But it's a two-person job.
96
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,456
- Maybe I can help.
- You know anything about wine?
97
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,623
I dabble.
98
00:03:28,624 --> 00:03:29,708
- You dabble?
- I do.
99
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,753
Okay. Tell me about that.
100
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,796
Mm.
101
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:37,132
It's very wet on the palate.
102
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:39,509
- No.
- Oh.
103
00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,596
Deep garnet color.
104
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,723
Fruit punch, pipe tobacco.
105
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:49,019
Velvety tannins. Old World.
106
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,270
- Mm.
- Southern Italy.
107
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:52,397
- Is this a 2016 Primitivo?
- Yes!
108
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,357
I hate it.
109
00:03:54,358 --> 00:03:55,650
How do you know so much about wine?
110
00:03:55,651 --> 00:03:58,862
Well, when I was trying
to get my girlfriend,
111
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:01,531
I read an article in Glamour...
"Ten Things Women Love".
112
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:02,949
Wine was at the top of the list.
113
00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:05,535
So, naturally, I learned
everything I could about it.
114
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:08,622
Unfortunately, however,
she doesn't drink.
115
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:09,748
It's too bad you're out
of town this weekend.
116
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,584
- I'm not. She asked me not to come.
- Why?
117
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,086
- Women are complex.
- Mm.
118
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,754
Like a 2019 Bordeaux.
119
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,589
Oh! Can't turn it off.
120
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,007
So, you can help Cricket?
121
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,717
- Ah?
- Hmm?
122
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:21,802
- I did get a new shirt.
- Oh.
123
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,678
No tag, super soft.
124
00:04:23,679 --> 00:04:25,097
I'm very excited to get into it.
125
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,681
- Okay.
- Yay!
126
00:04:26,682 --> 00:04:28,392
You guys are gonna love it.
127
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,852
Oh, me and my friends always
steal from all the booths.
128
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,355
But not yours, of course.
129
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:36,733
Huh!
130
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,068
God, I miss bread.
131
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:41,154
I am gonna eat and drink
all the food and wine
132
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:44,282
at the food and wine festival
until it is just a festival.
133
00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:46,326
Right. You're starving yourself.
134
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:48,870
How's the Great Sperm Detox going?
135
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:52,082
Well, Ben and I are making our
deposits tonight after work.
136
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,959
We haven't had a single drop of alcohol
137
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,836
or a decent bite of food in three weeks.
138
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,963
- Oy.
- Gotta keep those wigglyboys a-squigglin'.
139
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:58,964
- Ew! No. Don't do that.
- No.
140
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,133
- Yes. Do it.
- Wonderful news, Sam.
141
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,678
My father will now be attending
our event to see firsthand
142
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,806
how well we're marketing
ourselves to our community.
143
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:10,392
I just could not be more... pleased.
144
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,769
Just because he's the
CEO of a very successful
145
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,980
media/health-supplement empire
146
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,606
does not mean that he's particular.
147
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,066
No, he's very easy to deal with,
148
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,527
but that said, I think
adding just a couple of things
149
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,779
that I know will get a positive
response could be the move.
150
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,197
Lexi. Lexi, I know your dad
151
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:25,574
kind of stresses you
out, so you doing okay?
152
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,367
Uh-huh. Yeah, totally.
153
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,327
- Uh! You're choking me.
- Needs to be tighter.
154
00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:32,038
Yes, listen, I think just
a couple of small things,
155
00:05:32,039 --> 00:05:35,292
like perhaps have a booth set up
with people hand-rolling cigars.
156
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,127
That... That'd be something easy to do,
157
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,504
and I can text you the customs
forms for his tobacco concierge.
158
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,797
So that'll be easy. Oh!
159
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,507
We also need to switch
out the jazz band,
160
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,134
because, um, jazz agitates him.
161
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,510
In fact, he doesn't
actually care for anything
162
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,970
that inspires people
to move their bodies.
163
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,763
Uh, so maybe, um, I
don't know... bagpipes!
164
00:05:48,764 --> 00:05:50,182
Can you get bagpipes?
165
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,976
Of course you can. You're magic.
166
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:55,228
Oh, I don't have that kind of time.
167
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:58,273
Ooh, speaking of time, I need
you to move up everything by
168
00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,357
two hours to accommodate his schedule.
169
00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:00,734
Thank you, thank you,
thank you! You're the best.
170
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,695
Hey.
171
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,447
You guys are screwed. Byeee.
172
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,781
Is she for real?
173
00:06:06,782 --> 00:06:08,200
She just comes in here
and dumps work on you
174
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,367
and messes with your bangs,
175
00:06:09,368 --> 00:06:10,702
which were perfect to
begin with, by the way?
176
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:11,953
No, it's fine.
177
00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,622
Her dad just throws a lot at her.
178
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:14,706
You're a very nice person.
179
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,249
You're like Tilda Swinton in some movie
180
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,626
where she does too much for someone
181
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:18,835
who doesn't appreciate her.
182
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:20,378
Oh, I'm... I'm not even sure who she is.
183
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:23,673
The point is, this doesn't
feel like a two-way street.
184
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:26,259
Just because a friend has another friend
185
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:29,262
doesn't mean you can't all be friends.
186
00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:30,805
Quit it, pig!
187
00:06:30,806 --> 00:06:32,641
Look, Nell, Lexi and
I are friends, okay?
188
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,309
So it would be really
helpful if the two of you
189
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,478
- could just figure out a way to get along.
- Of course.
190
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:37,979
Just 'cause my friend has another friend
191
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:40,899
doesn't mean we can't all be friends.
192
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:46,154
- Okay.
- That's what I like to hear.
193
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,324
But I hope it was sincere.
194
00:06:53,939 --> 00:06:55,289
Oh, my God.
195
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,416
This was so hard to pull
together last-minute.
196
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,085
I can't even tell what's real anymore.
197
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,045
It seems like you pulled it off.
198
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,755
- Look at this.
- Hey.
199
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:03,756
- Hey.
- Hey.
200
00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:05,174
So, we might want to switch
around the booths
201
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,842
so people eat before they drink,
202
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,302
because I don't know if it's the detox,
203
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,762
or maybe it's the empty stomach,
204
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,265
but this wine has your boy festive.
205
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,266
Yeah, I'm so sorry.
206
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,642
It was not supposed to be like that.
207
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,269
It was just changing
the time for Lexi's dad
208
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:17,603
screwed everything up.
209
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,064
Well, I desperately need some
food to soak up this wine,
210
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,316
so Risotto Hut, five minutes.
211
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:25,861
Sam, babe, what time is
Kilta Kimbo hitting the stage?
212
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,572
- The who what now?
- Kilta Kimbo.
213
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:29,156
The Scottish Highland
dancing group I booked.
214
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,408
- I...
- I thought your dad hated dancing.
215
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:32,410
Correct. He does, but he loves kicking.
216
00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:34,537
Ah! It's arrived.
217
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,997
What's... What's arrived?
218
00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,623
Why is there a monster
truck at my festival?
219
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,166
I had it donated so
we could raffle it off.
220
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,251
But I'm gonna make sure Daddy wins it.
221
00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,420
- Our little secret.
- No, that's fraud.
222
00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,672
You're hilarious.
223
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,299
So, Lex, this is a little bit
more than what I was expecting
224
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,259
when you asked me to help
you out with this festival.
225
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,760
Oh, it's nothing my BFF can't handle.
226
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,637
My Best Friend, Figuring it out.
227
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,764
Well, no, that would be BFFIO,
228
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:54,974
and that's not even a real thing.
229
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:58,603
If I have to make room for that truck,
230
00:07:58,604 --> 00:07:59,770
I'm gonna lose tables,
231
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:00,771
so I might as well just lost my mind
232
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:03,399
- because that seems more efficient.
- Okay, are you breathing?
233
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,400
I don't know. My chest is going up and
234
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,526
down, but nothing's going in or out.
235
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,028
It's just a wine festival, okay?
236
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:08,070
What's the worst that can happen?
237
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,363
Someone could drink without eating
238
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,948
and they'd get dehydrated
and then they could die,
239
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,158
then possibly other people die,
240
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,659
and then we'd have to go on the lam
241
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,119
and dye our hair blond
and move to Portugal.
242
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,705
Portugal? Okay, nobody's going to die.
243
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,958
But if they did, you would
look really hot as a blonde.
244
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,711
Okay.
245
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:24,837
Okay, thank you.
246
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,922
You got this. Come on.
247
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,883
Alright. Okay.
248
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:31,135
I am and gonna go and make
this festival my bitch.
249
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,136
- Yes, you are.
- Okay.
250
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,807
'Cause I'm your real BFF, you know?
251
00:08:34,808 --> 00:08:37,394
Not like a BFF that's
utterly and truly insensitive.
252
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,311
Yeah, 'cause that would be a
BFF-UTI, and nobody wants that.
253
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:44,065
It's not nice to be mean
about someone's friend.
254
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,483
That's right, Ham Hock.
255
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:48,277
And UTIs are no joking matter.
256
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,655
This isn't going to end well.
257
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:51,781
You know what I'm in the mood for?
258
00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:53,240
- Hmm?
- Some prosciutto.
259
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:56,744
And so, much like Aladdin,
260
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:59,956
we end our journey in a whole
new world with our Syrah.
261
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,040
You can tell they've tried to extract
262
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,126
as much terroir as possible.
263
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,713
Drink.
264
00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:09,006
Why?
265
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,550
Monty and I used to
play this wine-snob game.
266
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,346
If anyone said "terroir" or
"legs" or "jammy", we'd drink.
267
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,724
He was right about the terroir, though.
268
00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:23,104
I'm starting to think
that it's not the festivals
269
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:27,608
that I enjoy so much. It's Monty.
270
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:31,070
We could have fun anywhere. I'm sorry.
271
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,739
I guess the heat and
the sun beating down
272
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,158
doesn't have me in a fun mood.
273
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:41,455
Excuse me.
274
00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,251
Would you mind loaning
my friend your umbrella?
275
00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:49,213
I don't think so.
276
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,341
- She just lost her husband.
- Ohh.
277
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,386
I'm sorry for your loss.
278
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:58,305
- Yeah. I hope this helps.
- Thank you.
279
00:09:58,306 --> 00:09:59,306
- You're welcome.
- Aww.
280
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,059
You know, she's also sad
281
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,020
because she doesn't have a lemonade.
282
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:06,230
- You didn't get a lemonade?
- Mnh-mnh.
283
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,067
- Here you go.
- Aww. Thank you.
284
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,069
- You're welcome.
- Mmm!
285
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,114
This is much tastier than my tears.
286
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,240
Okay.
287
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:20,578
Alright now. Bless you. Thank you.
288
00:10:20,579 --> 00:10:22,872
Did we just invent the Widow Game?
289
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:25,416
- I think we did.
- Okay! I like it.
290
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,294
Okay, it's not perfect,
291
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,129
but it could be so much worse, right?
292
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,505
It could be so much worse.
293
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:34,467
I don't know I would have
done any of this without you.
294
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:35,509
- Sam?
- Mm?
295
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,844
What is this?
296
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:39,013
A plate with a hole in it.
297
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,182
It is a hole for your wine glass.
298
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,059
Yeah, I took this from a
woman. She brought it from home.
299
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,894
- I'd like it back.
- You stay out of this.
300
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:46,187
Now, this is innovation.
301
00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:48,439
This is unique, creative.
302
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,149
It's making all of
our plates look stupid!
303
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,568
Okay, are you being serious right now?
304
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:55,196
Because I moved heaven and earth
to make this festival great,
305
00:10:55,197 --> 00:10:56,989
and now you're upset because the plates
306
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,657
don't have holes in them?
307
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,118
No, I'm upset because
I hired you to do a job
308
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:02,578
and you... you dropped the ball.
309
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,539
Oh, you hired me? I'm
someone you hire now?
310
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,374
Because when you were
stressed and needed
311
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,502
someone to stay up all
night, then I was your friend.
312
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,796
Sam, make no mistake, I am your boss,
313
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:14,799
and it is your job to do
exactly what I tell you to do.
314
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,510
And right now, it doesn't feel
like you're up for that job.
315
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:18,970
Here.
316
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:23,140
Whoa. I am so sorry.
317
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,810
That was harsh even for Lexi standards.
318
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:28,104
- It's fine.
- No! It is not.
319
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,605
She claims to be your friend,
320
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,856
and then she treats
you like crap all day.
321
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,234
She's spoiled and entitled,
322
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:35,277
and she doesn't deserve you, dude.
323
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:36,362
You know what?
324
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,446
Actually, if she thinks
325
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,073
that I am so terrible
at running this event,
326
00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:40,574
then she can run the rest of it herself,
327
00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:43,828
and you and I can go off
and have fun like we used to.
328
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,039
Go! Okay, come on.
329
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,125
Alright. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
330
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,543
Yes, yes, yes. Oh, you better hurry up.
331
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:53,337
My father was, um... he
was a connoisseur himself,
332
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,422
and... do you have vegan...
333
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:56,423
I gotta go. Thank you.
334
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,475
- Mm!
- Ah!
335
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,768
Look at you!
336
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,020
I don't even know how you did that.
337
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,273
- You know what sucks?
- Huh?
338
00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:15,568
I work my ass off to
make Lexi's event great.
339
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:16,902
She doesn't appreciate any of it.
340
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,529
No, no, no, no, no. We don't
need to talk about Lexi.
341
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,030
Come on. We're having so much fun.
342
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:21,949
After I pee, let's go see
if the bagpipers will let us
343
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,326
- try to play a song.
- You're right.
344
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:25,703
And you've always been
right about her, you know?
345
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:26,996
- Well...
- I'm done with her.
346
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:29,123
She is spoiled and entitled
347
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:30,332
and she doesn't deserve me as a friend.
348
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:33,627
I tend to be a good judge of character.
349
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:35,129
Wrap it up, buddy!
350
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,882
But the good news is, is that I'm back.
351
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:40,301
You don't need her anymore. Heh heh!
352
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,927
- Thank you!
- It's all yours.
353
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,680
- To you.
- Whew!
354
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,807
Oh, yeah, there it is.
355
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,851
You know, someone
should actually tell Lexi
356
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,228
to her face that she's selfish.
357
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:52,813
- Uh-huh.
- And that she's a butthole.
358
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,315
Yeah, she is. Ha!
359
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:55,733
And that person should be me right now.
360
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:56,734
- Huh?
- Here I go.
361
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:57,735
Wait, what?
362
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:58,819
No, Sam, that's a terrible idea.
363
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,322
She's your boss. Sam!
364
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,573
Sam? Huh?
365
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:05,159
No. Sam? Sam?
366
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,369
I warned you things wouldn't end well
367
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,288
if you didn't share your friend.
368
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,748
You were in there the whole time?
369
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:11,749
I saw everything.
370
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,377
That is not cool.
371
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:21,008
Uh, hey, Lexi.
372
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,886
Um, did Sam come to talk to you yet?
373
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:25,597
No, she has not.
374
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:29,308
Okay, well, it looks like you're waiting
375
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,269
for your dragons to hatch,
so I'll just leave you to it.
376
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:35,522
This event is a complete disaster.
377
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,066
I stupidly made all these changes
378
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:40,486
just so my father would like
it, and now he's not even coming.
379
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,656
His assistant texted me to
say that he can't make it,
380
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:47,493
just like my graduation, my wedding,
381
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:52,164
- my birth.
- Uh...
382
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,540
Alrighty.
383
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,378
Well, it looks like you have
that under control, so bye!
384
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:03,676
Lexi seems sad.
385
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,929
You should never leave
someone alone who's sad.
386
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,347
Put a sock in it, sock. Okay?
387
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,849
I'm done with the moralizing.
388
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,812
Why do you find it so hard
to listen to good advice?
389
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:16,772
Oh, my God, Terri.
390
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,148
I'll be honest, I completely forgot
391
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,067
you were just a person.
392
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:23,445
That's okay. Sometimes I forget, too.
393
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:27,449
Nell, when I was a child,
I had a terrible stutter.
394
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:30,369
A lot of the kids made fun of me.
395
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,329
It made me really sad,
396
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,498
and I closed myself off
from the rest of the world.
397
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:40,003
And then one day, I
drew a face on a sock,
398
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,297
and it made me smile,
399
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:45,008
and I realized that when I
talked through the puppet,
400
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,386
my stutter went away.
401
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,055
Wow. That's amazing.
402
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,182
Ham Hock let me talk to people,
403
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:57,396
and I realized that the
ones who are the prickliest
404
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,940
are hiding that, deep
down, they're in pain.
405
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:03,318
I know that Ham Hock may seem silly,
406
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:07,155
but with her help, I make people
who are hurting feel better.
407
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:11,326
And I think you can
do that for Lexi, too.
408
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,588
Ohh.
409
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:30,137
- You okay, bro?
- I'm fine.
410
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,473
Yeah, it doesn't seem like you're fine.
411
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,309
Sucks that your dad sucks, huh?
412
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:36,393
What are you doing?
Why are you doing this?
413
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,686
- Who sent you?
- No one.
414
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:40,397
I... Just trying to help,
415
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:43,275
and it seems like you're sad, so...
416
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,194
- Thought you might want to talk.
- Fine.
417
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:50,532
Yes, my father sucks.
418
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:53,744
But he's always sucked.
419
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:57,664
I just can't stop thinking
about how terrible I was to Sam.
420
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,208
I mean, I said such
horrible things to her,
421
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,502
and it's just... it's not like me.
422
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,046
I mean, you do that to me all the time.
423
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,547
Yes, because I don't care about you.
424
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,466
Yep. Just like that.
425
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,928
Look, I know that I
can be kind of... harsh
426
00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:13,513
and intense and attractive,
427
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:16,308
but Sam liked me anyway.
428
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:19,145
She was my best friend, and I ruined it.
429
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,564
And I'm sure this delights you.
430
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:25,734
I mean, now you have
her all to yourself.
431
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:28,237
I know that you... dislike me.
432
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,743
I don't. I... I don't dislike you.
433
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,954
I'm just...
434
00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:38,622
a little jealous of you sometimes.
435
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:39,832
That makes sense.
436
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:45,003
I'm sorry your dad did that to you.
437
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,421
You didn't deserve that.
438
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:52,427
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
439
00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,476
You're freaking me out. Go away.
440
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:02,020
And there she is.
441
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,858
Look, look.
442
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,568
I made some man in a skirt cry.
443
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,695
That's some high-level widowing.
444
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,072
I know.
445
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,700
Thank you.
446
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,159
And thank you for today.
447
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,160
My pleasure.
448
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,331
So what happened with your
girlfriend this weekend?
449
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:22,457
You never said.
450
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,418
She was in a bad mood after work,
451
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:25,878
so I figured I should leave her alone.
452
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,756
Did you ask her what was wrong?
453
00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,550
Damn it.
454
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,303
This is why I need a magazine
list to tell me what women want.
455
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:37,097
I don't know, I think your instincts
456
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,974
are mostly pretty good.
457
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,685
Look, I didn't think I
could have fun without Monty
458
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:44,479
at these things, and
you showed me that I can.
459
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,649
You don't need a list to be a catch.
460
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:50,570
So... should I delete it?
461
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,364
Okay, let's take a look.
462
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,367
- These are not all bad.
- Mm.
463
00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:59,036
I think your girlfriend
would want you around
464
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:00,329
if you did number seven.
465
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:01,538
I do number seven all the time.
466
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,373
She says I'm fantastic at it.
467
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,751
I learned a lot of stuff
from a book by Kim Cattrall.
468
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,961
Suddenly I don't feel so
bad for your girlfriend.
469
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:08,962
Look at number 10.
470
00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,133
Oh, now, that's some crazy.
471
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,468
Ah, hold on.
472
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,519
There you are.
473
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,980
Oh, please don't tell me you're so drunk
474
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,941
you think that this is an Uber.
475
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,778
I didn't tell Lexi off.
476
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,404
Yeah, that's probably for the best.
477
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:35,697
I just can't believe she said all those
478
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,032
awful things, you know?
479
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,784
I thought we were closer than that.
480
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,952
You know, when you were in
London and I had the kids,
481
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,829
she was the only one there for me.
482
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,082
Oh, I suck. I'm so sorry, Sam.
483
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,375
No, that is not about you.
484
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:48,293
You were off living your
life, and that was great.
485
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:51,671
It's just that I was here,
and I was overwhelmed,
486
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,131
and I didn't know what I was doing.
487
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,842
And Lexi is the one that
helped me really figure it out,
488
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,720
and I really leaned on her.
489
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:02,140
I think you're being hard on Lexi.
490
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,309
I know. Exactly, right? It's just...
491
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,310
Wait, what?
492
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,730
She had some bad
moments today, for sure,
493
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:11,274
but she feels really bad,
494
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:14,194
and your friendship means a lot to her.
495
00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,238
Okay, am I still
drunk, or are you saying
496
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,447
sort of nice things about Lexi?
497
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:18,865
Girl, I'm drunk.
498
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,534
I mean, that's the only
way to explain that.
499
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:22,536
No, I'm...
500
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:24,329
It's not all on her.
501
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:28,583
You know, I haven't exactly been
looking for Lexi's good side.
502
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,044
I mean, maybe it's because
she doesn't show it to me,
503
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:33,755
but today I saw a sliver of it.
504
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,298
It was a very small sliver,
505
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,384
like when you go to a
super-bomb sushi restaurant,
506
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:39,928
and the sushi chef cuts
that fish real thin,
507
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,179
that it's almost translucent.
508
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,806
You can see the rice
through it and the wasabi...
509
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,685
Okay. No, I get it. I
get what you're saying.
510
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,397
I'm never gonna love Lexi,
511
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,482
but I am so grateful
that she was there for you
512
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,443
when I couldn't be.
513
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:57,487
Anyone who cares about you
this much can't be all that bad.
514
00:19:57,488 --> 00:20:01,616
♪ Wake up, kids, we got
the dreamers disease ♪
515
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,243
It's funny how the
simplest lessons in life
516
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,370
can seem so silly,
517
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,706
but we keep coming back
to them again and again
518
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,374
because they're so true.
519
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,375
Oh, thank you very much.
520
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:11,626
Help each other.
521
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,503
Be kind.
522
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,297
Share.
523
00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:18,425
Even if life gets more
complicated as we get older,
524
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,760
if we feel left out or left behind,
525
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,929
one thing never changes.
526
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:26,725
Nell, we stole all the truffle
fries from Archie's Tater Shack.
527
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,436
- Get the ketchup.
- Oh, and a fork.
528
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:32,522
Our friends are always there
for us when we need them.
529
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:35,775
Thanks for all the
advice, Ham Hock and Terri.
530
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,777
Our pleasure.
531
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:40,489
And always remember to pee after sex.
532
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:41,823
♪ Don't give up ♪
533
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,200
♪ You got a reason to live ♪
534
00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:44,618
♪ Can't forget ♪
535
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,036
Hey, save some for me!
536
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:47,246
♪ We only get what we give ♪
537
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,374
Hi, Nell.
538
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:52,584
Ham Hock?
539
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,877
I... What are you...
540
00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:55,795
Wait, how are... I pressed send.
541
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,172
- It's me... Tina.
- Oh.
542
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,423
I read your obit about Terri Lawrence,
543
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:01,468
and it inspired me to
pull out my old Hock Sock.
544
00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:05,096
Turns out, writing about
crime is so much more fun.
545
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,723
It's usually the husband.
546
00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:08,225
Give me the pig.
547
00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:09,977
Give me the pig, Tina.
548
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:20,153
Why are you so...
549
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,738
No.
550
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:24,158
Wow.
551
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:29,617
- Synced and corrected by actumaxime -
- www.addic7ed.com -
40640
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