All language subtitles for Kiff.S01E03_English

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,501 --> 00:00:03,341 (theme song plays) 2 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:06,296 CHORUS: ♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪ 3 00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,343 ♪ Kiff-Kiff-Kiff! ♪ 4 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:10,470 ♪ Kiff-Kiff-Kiff-Kiff! ♪ 5 00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:15,638 ♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪ 6 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,980 ♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪ 7 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,845 ♪ Kiff! ♪ 8 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:25,982 (giggling) 9 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,488 ANNOUNCER: Brought to you by Pam's Protection. 10 00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:30,276 Threat averted. 11 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,240 Good morning, class, before we begin today, 12 00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:34,781 we have a special announcement 13 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:37,164 from your classmate, Candle Fox. 14 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,752 (applause) 15 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:39,957 If you'll look under your seats, 16 00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:42,996 you'll find an invitation to my party tomorrow. 17 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,092 CANDLE: As you can see by these expensive invitations... 18 00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:47,587 - (horns honk) - ...the party will feature 19 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,429 the famed 400-foot Waterslide of Eternal Joy. 20 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,295 - RECORDED VOICE: Wow! - It's probably gonna be 21 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,892 the best party ever, but that is not for me to say. 22 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,888 - Thank you. - (applause) 23 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,310 This is what I'm talking about, Barry! 24 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,099 Do you know how lucky we are? 25 00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:03,312 - How lucky you are. - Huh? 26 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:06,113 I can’t go to this party. I can’t swim. 27 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:09,527 But, the 400-foot Waterslide of Eternal Joy... 28 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:12,197 Ends in water. 29 00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:14,697 This will be me if I go. 30 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:17,539 BARRY: "Woo! Splash." 31 00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:20,035 (funeral music plays) 32 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,828 Anyway, you can tell me all about it afterwards! 33 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:26,668 - Boom. - Uh, what are you doing? 34 00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,959 - I’m putting my foot down! - (gasps) 35 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,473 There is no way you’re gonna miss this party, Barry! 36 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,426 This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 37 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:34,716 But how? 38 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,389 Hmmm... 39 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:41,941 Helen? A word? 40 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,015 Ew, students. 41 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,980 I know we’ve had our differences, 42 00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:47,610 but this is important. 43 00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,692 I need you to do a little spell on my friend here 44 00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:51,282 to make him a good swimmer? 45 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,358 No. Go away. 46 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:54,743 Oh, well, we tried. 47 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:57,579 I guess you'll have to go to Candle's Pool Party without me. 48 00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:58,905 - (blows raspberry} - BOTH: Ow! 49 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,870 Candle Fox? Daughter of Roy Fox? 50 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:06,461 World-famous producer of TV's Table Town Has Talent? 51 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:07,789 Yes? 52 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:11,014 Yes, I'll help your friend... 53 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:14,216 if you get me an introduction with Roy Fox. 54 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,547 Oh! Sure! 55 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:18,512 Wait, he does know you, right? 56 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:21,523 Oh , yeah, totally. Roy is always saying I'm-- 57 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,176 Okay, okay, fine. Let's go. 58 00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:25,314 I didn't ask for your life story. 59 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,062 - (indistinct chatter) - (party music plays) 60 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,652 (gasps) There it is. 61 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,903 KIFF: It's even more majestic 62 00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,874 than the invitation led me to believe. Oh. 63 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,986 (orchestral choir music plays) 64 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:46,173 I... am reborn. 65 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,134 This is gonna be transcendent. 66 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,295 Look at the line! 67 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:55,512 (screaming) 68 00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:59,678 Okay, Helen, give Barry the spell. 69 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,559 Barry, you hold my place in line 70 00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,636 while I hold up my end of the deal, 71 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:07,901 introducing Helen to my dear old friend, Roy Fox. 72 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:09,274 He's over there. 73 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,942 (indistinct chatter) 74 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,395 Roy Fox... 75 00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:16,862 Okay, let's do this. 76 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,663 HELEN: Bark of tree, crumbs of knish, 77 00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,527 make this rabbit, swim like a fish. 78 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:25,713 I can swim? Whoa. 79 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,826 So we're really doing this? 80 00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,633 Let's go! 81 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,918 KID: Whoa! 82 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,434 I'm so happy! 83 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,931 - Soon, Slidey... - (orchestral music plays) 84 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,798 - (indistinct chatter) - (jazz music plays) 85 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,690 (sighs) 86 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,272 Hey, is everything okay? 87 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:54,484 Yeah, I'm just sad, I guess. 88 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,397 I haven't thrown a single kid out of this place 89 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,152 and am I ever itchin' to! 90 00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,204 (ominous music plays) 91 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,288 That's great, that's great. (chuckles) 92 00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,962 Ah, see?! I told you there'd be a VIP area. 93 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,327 Right this way, babe. 94 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,344 Hey, fellas, good to see ya! Didn't see ya there. 95 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,256 We'll do pictures with my client later if you want, 96 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,665 but right now, where's Roy? That old so and so... 97 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,684 Oh, I see him! Love ya, babes! 98 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,848 ...just had it renovated, so let me know how that acoustics are. 99 00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:25,555 (laughs) I love it. Pew-pew! 100 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,136 I'm sorry, do I know you? 101 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:30,731 Roy, it's me! We met at that limo... 102 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:32,771 race? 103 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,654 (suspenseful music plays) 104 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,566 (laughs) 105 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,610 How are you?! 106 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,122 Phew! 107 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:46,702 Look at me. G-gonna slide, gonna swim. Okay, here we go. 108 00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,536 You wanna go ahead of me? I'm, uh, I'm waiting for Kiff. 109 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:55,040 Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead! 110 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,754 Thank you. Wow. 111 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,087 ...are you? And I held up my hand and said, 112 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,880 "Hey. You see this hand? 113 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:04,473 This is the hand that writes the checks, capisce?! 114 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,760 (laughs) 115 00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:10,144 Oh, I am stealing that! 116 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,112 - (grunts) - Oh, no, I'm gonna miss my turn! 117 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:18,606 And-- Roy, I'm gonna network a little right now, 118 00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:19,739 and I wouldn't be doing that 119 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:23,316 if I didn't suspect you're gonna like what I have to tell ya. 120 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,533 I'm listening... 121 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:28,202 I happen to be here today with a monster talent 122 00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:31,042 who, at this point in time, remains undiscovered. 123 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,709 A diamond in the rough. 124 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,417 I give you... Helen! 125 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,549 Hello! 126 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,302 Okay... Hm. Show me what you got. 127 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,970 Oh, um... 128 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:47,387 (dance music playing) 129 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:53,385 (vocalizes) 130 00:05:56,564 --> 00:06:00,324 (grunts) Ta-da! 131 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,862 I... love it! 132 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:04,953 You do?! 133 00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:07,157 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 134 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:10,658 Get ready, baby! I'm gonna make you a star! 135 00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:13,291 In fact, (gasps) we're gonna film right now! 136 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,919 (cheering) 137 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,170 Set up the camera! Get the boom mic in! 138 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:21,049 I need some apple boxes here! Where's my latte? 139 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:25,640 Kiff, I'm so happy I could almost thank you! 140 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,635 I'll never teach again! 141 00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,852 Wait, I'm not ready! 142 00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:33,267 I've got to go powder my nose! (squeals) 143 00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:38,268 Welp, my work here is done, Helen's gonna be a star! 144 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:41,482 Oh, she certainly is... a star on my new show-- 145 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,029 (banjo music plays) 146 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,408 NARRATOR: Embarrassing! 147 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,292 Cringe! 148 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:55,616 OMG! 149 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:59,382 Table Town's Cringiest Wannabes! 150 00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:00,417 Duh! 151 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,590 (all laugh) 152 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,086 Wait, what? Oh, that’s so mean! 153 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,392 And it's all thanks to you! 154 00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:11,311 (gasps) 155 00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:14,559 (gasps) Helen, wait! Don't do it! 156 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,519 - What? - He's gonna make a fool of you! 157 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,269 He thinks you're cringe! 158 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,105 - Oh, I get it. - Phew! 159 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,568 You're jealous! 160 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,159 What?! No! Helen, please-- 161 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,565 If you have something to say, talk to my agent. 162 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,994 I am your agent! 163 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,163 Not anymore. You're fired. 164 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:40,673 (all straining) 165 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,381 (all laugh) 166 00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:46,591 Hey, where'd she go? 167 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,299 Okay, whenever you're ready... 168 00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,425 Say! What kind of camera is that? 169 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:56,351 Oh, is that the new HD-365... 7? 170 00:07:56,350 --> 00:08:00,520 Let me get a closer look. Oh, no! 171 00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:04,650 I'm accidentally tripping on... obstacles. 172 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,856 - (gasps) - Hey! That was on purpose! 173 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,912 Oh, boy! You're out of here! 174 00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,368 (pants, grunts) 175 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:19,624 I am revoking the swim spell! 176 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:26,127 No! No, wait! Please! 177 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,588 Your turn, kid! 178 00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,763 Oh, that's not good... (screams) 179 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:32,851 Next! 180 00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:35,675 (screaming) 181 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,024 (screaming) 182 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,824 (slow-motion scream) 183 00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,606 Hang on, Barry! 184 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,240 (grunts) 185 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,777 Gotcha! 186 00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:05,422 That's why my birthday is a little more special-- Ahh! 187 00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,589 (screaming) 188 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,337 (chuckles) 189 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:21,436 I'm just gonna hit the slide real quick... 190 00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,185 (both yell) 191 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:27,817 No, no. No! Please, please just give me one slide! 192 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,777 One little slide! That's all I ask of you! 193 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:34,697 You are banned from this slide! 194 00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,199 (gasps) A lifetime ban? 195 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,620 No, jeez, that's a bit harsh. 196 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,580 You're banned for one year! 197 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:44,916 Oh. 198 00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,709 - (banjo music plays) - NARRATOR: It's Table Town's... 199 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,764 Cringiest Wannabees! 200 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,890 (crowd murmuring) 201 00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:58,508 Oh. 202 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,937 (sighs) I can't believe I didn't get to experience 203 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:05,515 400 feet of Eternal Joy. 204 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:06,861 Didn't you? 205 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,356 Hang on, Barry! Gotcha! 206 00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:12,188 MAN: Eternal Joy. Joy... joy... joy... 207 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:13,992 We did. 208 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,037 NARRATOR: Cringe! 209 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,963 Yeesh! And we did the right thing for Helen. 210 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:27,246 There's a sadness in those eyes. 211 00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,341 (gate squeaks open) 212 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,626 Speaking of which... 213 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:33,336 Um, I saw the trailer for Roy's new show and... 214 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,341 (sighs) I just wanted to say-- say... 215 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:40,143 (stammers) tha... 216 00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,102 "Thanks"? 217 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:44,639 You're welcome! (grunts) 218 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,936 It's me, Helen. 219 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:55,913 Hello, Mom? Guess what? I'm on TV! In your face! 220 00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,453 And just think, Barry, now we have a whole year for you 221 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,411 to learn how to swim, the right way! 222 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:03,371 Yeah! 223 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:06,291 HELEN: Listen, I was thinking we could walk through 224 00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:07,790 the theater district on the way home 225 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,842 to see if anyone recognizes me from that clip. 226 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,626 They probably want my autograph. 15509

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.