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(theme song plays)
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CHORUS: ♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
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♪ Kiff-Kiff-Kiff! ♪
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00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:10,470
♪ Kiff-Kiff-Kiff-Kiff! ♪
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♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!
Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
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♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
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♪ Kiff! ♪
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(giggling)
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ANNOUNCER: Brought to you
by Pam's Protection.
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Threat averted.
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Good morning, class,
before we begin today,
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00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:34,781
we have a special announcement
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from your classmate, Candle Fox.
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(applause)
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If you'll look under your seats,
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you'll find an invitation
to my party tomorrow.
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CANDLE: As you can see
by these expensive invitations...
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- (horns honk)
- ...the party will feature
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00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,429
the famed 400-foot
Waterslide of Eternal Joy.
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00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,295
- RECORDED VOICE: Wow!
- It's probably gonna be
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the best party ever,
but that is not for me to say.
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- Thank you.
- (applause)
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This is what I'm talking about, Barry!
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Do you know how lucky we are?
25
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- How lucky you are.
- Huh?
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I can’t go to this party. I can’t swim.
27
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:09,527
But, the 400-foot
Waterslide of Eternal Joy...
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Ends in water.
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This will be me if I go.
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BARRY: "Woo! Splash."
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(funeral music plays)
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Anyway, you can tell me
all about it afterwards!
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00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:26,668
- Boom.
- Uh, what are you doing?
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- I’m putting my foot down!
- (gasps)
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00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,473
There is no way you’re gonna
miss this party, Barry!
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This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
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But how?
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Hmmm...
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Helen? A word?
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Ew, students.
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I know we’ve had our differences,
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but this is important.
43
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,692
I need you to do a little spell
on my friend here
44
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to make him a good swimmer?
45
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,358
No. Go away.
46
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:54,743
Oh, well, we tried.
47
00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:57,579
I guess you'll have to go
to Candle's Pool Party without me.
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00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:58,905
- (blows raspberry}
- BOTH: Ow!
49
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,870
Candle Fox? Daughter of Roy Fox?
50
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:06,461
World-famous producer
of TV's Table Town Has Talent?
51
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:07,789
Yes?
52
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:11,014
Yes, I'll help your friend...
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00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:14,216
if you get me an introduction
with Roy Fox.
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00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,547
Oh! Sure!
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Wait, he does know you, right?
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00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:21,523
Oh , yeah, totally.
Roy is always saying I'm--
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00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,176
Okay, okay, fine. Let's go.
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00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:25,314
I didn't ask for your life story.
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- (indistinct chatter)
- (party music plays)
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(gasps) There it is.
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KIFF: It's even more majestic
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than the invitation led me to believe. Oh.
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(orchestral choir music plays)
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I... am reborn.
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This is gonna be transcendent.
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Look at the line!
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(screaming)
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Okay, Helen, give Barry the spell.
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Barry, you hold my place in line
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while I hold up my end of the deal,
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00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:07,901
introducing Helen
to my dear old friend, Roy Fox.
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He's over there.
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(indistinct chatter)
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Roy Fox...
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Okay, let's do this.
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HELEN: Bark of tree, crumbs of knish,
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make this rabbit, swim like a fish.
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I can swim? Whoa.
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So we're really doing this?
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Let's go!
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KID: Whoa!
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I'm so happy!
83
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,931
- Soon, Slidey...
- (orchestral music plays)
84
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,798
- (indistinct chatter)
- (jazz music plays)
85
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(sighs)
86
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,272
Hey, is everything okay?
87
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:54,484
Yeah, I'm just sad, I guess.
88
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I haven't thrown a single kid
out of this place
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and am I ever itchin' to!
90
00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,204
(ominous music plays)
91
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,288
That's great, that's great. (chuckles)
92
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,962
Ah, see?! I told you
there'd be a VIP area.
93
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,327
Right this way, babe.
94
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,344
Hey, fellas, good to see ya!
Didn't see ya there.
95
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,256
We'll do pictures with my client later
if you want,
96
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,665
but right now, where's Roy?
That old so and so...
97
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,684
Oh, I see him! Love ya, babes!
98
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,848
...just had it renovated, so let me know
how that acoustics are.
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00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:25,555
(laughs) I love it. Pew-pew!
100
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,136
I'm sorry, do I know you?
101
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:30,731
Roy, it's me! We met at that limo...
102
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race?
103
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(suspenseful music plays)
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(laughs)
105
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How are you?!
106
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,122
Phew!
107
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:46,702
Look at me. G-gonna slide,
gonna swim. Okay, here we go.
108
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,536
You wanna go ahead of me?
I'm, uh, I'm waiting for Kiff.
109
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:55,040
Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead!
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00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,754
Thank you. Wow.
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00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,087
...are you? And I held up
my hand and said,
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00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,880
"Hey. You see this hand?
113
00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:04,473
This is the hand that writes
the checks, capisce?!
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00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,760
(laughs)
115
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:10,144
Oh, I am stealing that!
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00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,112
- (grunts)
- Oh, no, I'm gonna miss my turn!
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00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:18,606
And-- Roy, I'm gonna network
a little right now,
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00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:19,739
and I wouldn't be doing that
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00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:23,316
if I didn't suspect you're gonna like
what I have to tell ya.
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00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,533
I'm listening...
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I happen to be here today
with a monster talent
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who, at this point in time,
remains undiscovered.
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A diamond in the rough.
124
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I give you... Helen!
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Hello!
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Okay... Hm. Show me what you got.
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Oh, um...
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(dance music playing)
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(vocalizes)
130
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(grunts) Ta-da!
131
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I... love it!
132
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:04,953
You do?!
133
00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:07,157
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
134
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:10,658
Get ready, baby!
I'm gonna make you a star!
135
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:13,291
In fact, (gasps)
we're gonna film right now!
136
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,919
(cheering)
137
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,170
Set up the camera! Get the boom mic in!
138
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:21,049
I need some apple boxes here!
Where's my latte?
139
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:25,640
Kiff, I'm so happy
I could almost thank you!
140
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,635
I'll never teach again!
141
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,852
Wait, I'm not ready!
142
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:33,267
I've got to go powder my nose! (squeals)
143
00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:38,268
Welp, my work here is done,
Helen's gonna be a star!
144
00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:41,482
Oh, she certainly is...
a star on my new show--
145
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,029
(banjo music plays)
146
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,408
NARRATOR: Embarrassing!
147
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,292
Cringe!
148
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:55,616
OMG!
149
00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:59,382
Table Town's Cringiest Wannabes!
150
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:00,417
Duh!
151
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,590
(all laugh)
152
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,086
Wait, what? Oh, that’s so mean!
153
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,392
And it's all thanks to you!
154
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:11,311
(gasps)
155
00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:14,559
(gasps) Helen, wait! Don't do it!
156
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,519
- What?
- He's gonna make a fool of you!
157
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,269
He thinks you're cringe!
158
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,105
- Oh, I get it.
- Phew!
159
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,568
You're jealous!
160
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,159
What?! No! Helen, please--
161
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,565
If you have something to say,
talk to my agent.
162
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,994
I am your agent!
163
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,163
Not anymore. You're fired.
164
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:40,673
(all straining)
165
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,381
(all laugh)
166
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:46,591
Hey, where'd she go?
167
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,299
Okay, whenever you're ready...
168
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,425
Say! What kind of camera is that?
169
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:56,351
Oh, is that the new HD-365... 7?
170
00:07:56,350 --> 00:08:00,520
Let me get a closer look. Oh, no!
171
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:04,650
I'm accidentally tripping on... obstacles.
172
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,856
- (gasps)
- Hey! That was on purpose!
173
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,912
Oh, boy! You're out of here!
174
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,368
(pants, grunts)
175
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:19,624
I am revoking the swim spell!
176
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:26,127
No! No, wait! Please!
177
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,588
Your turn, kid!
178
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,763
Oh, that's not good... (screams)
179
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:32,851
Next!
180
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:35,675
(screaming)
181
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,024
(screaming)
182
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,824
(slow-motion scream)
183
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,606
Hang on, Barry!
184
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,240
(grunts)
185
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,777
Gotcha!
186
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:05,422
That's why my birthday is
a little more special-- Ahh!
187
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,589
(screaming)
188
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,337
(chuckles)
189
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:21,436
I'm just gonna hit the slide real quick...
190
00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,185
(both yell)
191
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:27,817
No, no. No! Please,
please just give me one slide!
192
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,777
One little slide! That's all I ask of you!
193
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:34,697
You are banned from this slide!
194
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,199
(gasps) A lifetime ban?
195
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,620
No, jeez, that's a bit harsh.
196
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,580
You're banned for one year!
197
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:44,916
Oh.
198
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,709
- (banjo music plays)
- NARRATOR: It's Table Town's...
199
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,764
Cringiest Wannabees!
200
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,890
(crowd murmuring)
201
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:58,508
Oh.
202
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,937
(sighs) I can't believe
I didn't get to experience
203
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:05,515
400 feet of Eternal Joy.
204
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:06,861
Didn't you?
205
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,356
Hang on, Barry! Gotcha!
206
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:12,188
MAN: Eternal Joy. Joy... joy... joy...
207
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:13,992
We did.
208
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,037
NARRATOR: Cringe!
209
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,963
Yeesh! And we did
the right thing for Helen.
210
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:27,246
There's a sadness in those eyes.
211
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,341
(gate squeaks open)
212
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,626
Speaking of which...
213
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:33,336
Um, I saw the trailer
for Roy's new show and...
214
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,341
(sighs) I just wanted to say-- say...
215
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:40,143
(stammers) tha...
216
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,102
"Thanks"?
217
00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:44,639
You're welcome! (grunts)
218
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,936
It's me, Helen.
219
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:55,913
Hello, Mom? Guess what?
I'm on TV! In your face!
220
00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,453
And just think, Barry,
now we have a whole year for you
221
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,411
to learn how to swim, the right way!
222
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:03,371
Yeah!
223
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:06,291
HELEN: Listen, I was thinking
we could walk through
224
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:07,790
the theater district on the way home
225
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,842
to see if anyone recognizes me
from that clip.
226
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,626
They probably want my autograph.
15509
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