All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s03e25 Operation Population.eng

♪♪

[barks]

♪♪

[Jacqueline] To the children
of working mothers,

this is a day camp.

To the nuns,
this is a labor camp.

And to the citizens
of San Tanco,

this would soon be
a battlefield.

Here, let me try it out.
Let me try it.

Okay, the old pro.

Now, place foot here.
And... Oh!

Sister, you're flying.

Don't be silly, Rico.

Whoever heard of
a flying nun?

Reverse propellers.

Whew.

Ah, yes.

Well, heh...

Mrs. Rosales.

[Mrs. Rosales] Oh, heh.

Hello, Sister.

Was Rico a good boy today?
Oh, yes.

Say, "Buenas tardes,
Sister."

Buenas tardes.
Buenas tardes.

We'll work on this
tomorrow, okay?

Okay, kids, come on.
Closing time.

Sister Bertrille,
here come the fizz.

You mean "the fuzz."

Nice to see you,
Sergeant Santos.

You may not think so, Sister,
when you see this.

Read.

♪♪

"This land must be sold."
But why?

♪♪

[Jacqueline] Before you go fight city hall,
first you try to make a deal.

So we invited Mayor Calderon
to the convent

for tea and sympathy.

We provided the tea
and the mayor the sympathy.

Believe me, good Sisters.

I would love to see
your day camp continue,

but the town council,
it insists

the land
must not be left idle.

Well, it isn't idle.

We're using it to help
working mothers of San Tanco.

[Jacqueline] They'd like to know

why the town
can't just give us the land.

Impossible.

We must sell it
to recover the back taxes

owed to the village.

And how much
do they come to?

Three thousand
five hundred dollars.

Three thousand
five hundred?

Oh, dear. I am afraid
we couldn't possibly find

that much money.

Forgive me for intruding,
Sisters.

Oh. Señora Rosales.

Welcome.
Good afternoon, señora.

What?
You have invited him here?

This hater
of little children?

Señora, would you care
to join us for tea?

[Mrs. Rosales] No, thank you.

And when that one leaves,
be sure to count the spoons.

[Reverend Mother] Please, Señora Rosales.

What brings you to the convent?

I want you to pray
over this sign.

Hmm.
Uh...

That would be very difficult.

It is, to say the least,
a little un-Christian.

[Mrs. Rosales] Very well, I go.

We shall meet
on the barricades.

[Reverend Mother] Well, now, Mr. Mayor,

to get back to our problem,

are you sure that there is

no way to save our day camp?

Mm, only one.

The Puerto Rican government
has an agency

to assist in getting aid

for the community projects
like yours.

Fantastic.

The state would come up
the funds,

except for one small problem.

To qualify for this aid,

a community must have
at least 4000 residents.

In San Tanco?

At the last reckoning,
we had exactly 3956 citizens.

San Tanco
needs 44 new citizens.

Wha--? Forty-four,
that's a cinch.

But there is still
one problem.

Another one?
Yes.

The land is scheduled
to be sold

the first of next month.

That's just three weeks
from now.

Oh, dear. Well, I'm afraid
we can forget about the stork.

Well, I don't know.
Maybe he's planning

for a very busy three weeks.
Heh.

[chuckles]

[Jacqueline] We launched mission impossible.

Or as we called it,
Operation Population.

Hello. Maternity Ward?
Yes, this is me again.

Well, what's new?

Three singles
and a pair of twins.

Fantastic.
Sister Ana, mark up five.

Well, how many deliveries
are you expecting to perform

between now and the first,
doctor.

Oh. Thank you.

Chalk up three more possible,
Sister.

Uh, Maternity?

Yes. Has Mrs. Belmonte
had her baby yet?

Still no?

She's been there a week.

What?

Just now?

A baby boy. Thank you.

Sister Ana, one more.

Sister Bertrille.

Reverend Mother,
have you heard?

We're up to 3983.

With three more expected
to arrive before the first.

That's not even counting
any premature deliveries.

We're practically
over the border.

I'm afraid not, Sisters.

Have any of you,
incurable optimists,

thought of looking at
the obituary page?

♪♪

Oh, no,
it never occurred to me.

According to this paper,
14 good citizens of San Tanco

went to their final rest
this month.

Fourteen?

Oh, they would have
to pick now.

I mean, the Lord giveth
and the Lord taketh away.

Sister Ana, knock off--

Subtract 14.

What's taking you so long?

I'm using the new math.

We're 32 short.

Right back at the bottom
of the hill.

[dryly]
Oh, dear. I think our only conceivable hope

is to find some...rich,
kind-hearted person

who would buy the land
for us.

♪♪

Well,
we can't call on Carlos again.

Absolutely not.

After all he has done
for the convent already?

He's an absolute angel.

He's a regular philanderer.

I think you mean
"philanthropist."

No, if he wasn't such
a philanderer,

he wouldn't be such
a philanthropist.

[chuckles]

Well, let's face it.
Carlos is out.

[door slams closed]

Good morning, Carlos.
You think so?

I'm glad for somebody,
it's a good morning.

Oh, you're having
a bad day?

You want to hear
about it?

Sit down.
[quietly] Thank you very much.

A bad day, a bad week.

The whole month
is being a catastrophe.

Oh, I'm sorry, Carlos.

[barks, whines]

Hush, Horatio.

Now, with the new upholstery,
the only thing I need

is a dog to sit on my chair.
Carlos,

I want you to know that Horatio
is very well trained.

Get off the chair.
[whimpering]

I can see
how beautifully trained he is.

He's trained
to sit on my desk.

Here, Horatio. Sit there.
[barks]

Good boy.

[whimpers]

Oh, look. Now he's trying
to tell you he's sorry.

Okay. Okay, I understand.

Jump down to the floor.

Down. Down the chair.

My desk.
He's paper-trained, huh?

Carlos, it's because
he loves you so much.

We all love you
at the convent

because you're so kind
and generous.

Well, kind,
I will continue to be.

Generous, forget it.

Carlos,
what's the matter?

Where do you want me
to start?

The tourist season.

It's unbelievable.

Nobody's coming to San Tanco.
Now, wait a minute.

I saw an American cruise ship
out in the harbor.

Yeah.
You know who is onboard?

The Women's
Temperance Union.

Oh, not exactly
a high-rolling crowd, are they?

Huh. And nobody's gambling.

And the few who are
are killing me.

On top of which,
the kitchen is a disaster area.

What's happening in there?

My chef, Cesar--

My prize. My jewel.
- -has lost his touch.

Cesar, the fastest skillet
in the West Indies?

Yeah.
Go walk through the kitchen.

The soufflés are flat
like pancakes.

Carlos, you don't have to
talk about it

if it makes you feel bad.

Oh, it doesn't
make me feel bad.

It takes my mind
off of other troubles.

You have other troubles?

Oh. Things without
any importance.

In that room,
the Internal Revenue Service

is auditing my returns
for the past three years.

And in that kitchen,

my staff is planning
when to call a strike.

So, Sister Bertrille,
if you think

that you come here
and you can ask me

for the $3500 you need
for the land, forget it.

It never entered my mind.
Heh.

[Jacqueline] So with Carlos
out of the picture,

the stork rapidly running
out of gas

and the date of the land sale
bearing down on us,

we launched Phase 2
of Operation Population.

We invaded
the surrounding areas

to see if we could persuade
enough people

to move to San Tanco

to get us up
to the magic number of 4000.

[Sixto] Oh.

Sister Sixto and Ana and I
handled the campaign

on the ground.

But, Sister, why should I move
into a farm in San Tanco

when I have
a beautiful piece of land here.

Mm, yes.

But not like the land
in San Tanco, señor.

Our farmers have a saying:
drop a seed in the ground,

and then get out
of the way fast.

But, Sister,
I've been living here

for 40 years.

This is where I raise
my family.

I know.
Eight beautiful children,

who deserve
the best of everything.

Which they will get
in San Tanco.

But I am doing very well
here, Sister.

You know, the land is fertile,
the cows, they give good milk,

and the pigs are thriving.

Wonderful.

If only these estúpidashens
would lay some eggs--

Aha.

Do you know that the farmers
of San Tanco

bring their hens
to our priest to be blessed?

Sister, I will do that
with my hens.

[speaks Spanish]

I'm sorry, they're out
of our jurisdiction.

But if you move
to San Tanco...

[chuckles]

I love you, Susan.

I can't live without you.

And I love you, Antonio,
with all my heart.

Then what are you
waiting for?

Marry me.

Marry you?

Si.
Yes, my little Yankee darling.

But where? When?

Yesterday, I went
to the most wonderful wedding

at Father Ignatius' church.
Another wedding.

Yes, the bride and groom,
they look positively radio.

"Radiant." "Radiant."

They always do when
the good Father marries them.

You know the old saying
in San Tanco. Heh.

When Father Ignatius
marries you,

you live
happily ever after.

Come, Susan, let's go talk
to Father Ignatius.

Yes, darling.

Señor, la cuenta.

What are you doing?Peace.

No.

Victory.

Gracias.

We'll have a wonderful wedding,
Antonio.

Si.

And after
the honeymoon,

Daddy will find you
a wonderful job

back home in Milwaukee.

[Jacqueline] And meanwhile, Sister Bertrille
was taking care

of the aerial campaign.

[man] Yeah.

♪♪

[chattering indistinctly]

Well,
we're not out of the woods yet.

With four days to go,
we still need 10 more bodies.

No, 15.

What do you mean?
With all the people we moved in?

Well, people also move out.

Who moved out?

You didn't hear?
No.

Sergeant Batista got orders
to fly to Honolulu

with his wife
and three children.

Oh, no.
[man] And here,

will be the entrance
to the building,

of the finest marble.

Muy bien.

Ah. And in that corner

will be my executive suite.
Right here.

Excuse me, señor.
Did I hear you say

you're gonna build a building
on this spot?

Si.
A magnificent new office building.

The Ferrone Towers.

[man] You want a tower too?

Well, did I not mention it?
Well, but the building

will be only four stories high,
and do you--?

Well, so? You will build me
a small tower. Ha!

Señor Ferrone.
Yes, Sister?

Does that mean
that you own this land?

I'm going to buy it
at a public sale next week.

Oh, well, then there's
still time for you

to change your mind.

[Ferrone] Change my mind about what?

Well, there happens to be some
fantastic locations downtown.

Yes, and real bargains,
real cheap and dirty.

You mean "dirt cheap."

[Ferrone] No, no, no, no.

This is the ideal spot.

I flew down here
all the way from Miami

when I heard that this land
was for sale.

Now, over here--

[Bertrille] Oh, Señor Ferrone.

Señor Ferrone--

What now, Sister?

Well, do you realize
that if you build a building

on this spot, that that'll be
the end of our day camp.

I'm sorry, Sister.

And it'll also be
a very sad day

for the mothers of San Tanco
and their children.

[Ferrone] That is unfortunate.

But there is an old saying

about a man
not being his brother's keeper.

[chuckles]
Si.

There's another old saying
about fighting fire with fire.

[Jacqueline] The Army double-crossed us
by sending Sergeant Batista

from San Tanco to Honolulu.

But the Marines
came to the rescue

by transferring
Corporal Rodriguez

from Honolulu to San Tanco.

Operation Population
was holding its own.

Ten people short,
and four days to go,

Sister Bertrille went
into action on another front.

Then this one, we thought
would be really, really superb

up over the--
Oh, okay, okay.

All right, Sister,

I will display
all these signs

around the casino.

Oh.
It's just what the place needs.

Bless you, Carlos.

And I will ask my vocal group
to sing every night the song

"I Left My Heart
in San Tanco."

Oh, thank you.

Is there
anything else?

Well, yes, there is.

You don't happen to know
an out-of-town widow

with scads of children
who you're just dying to marry?

Fortunately...

BOTH [in unison]
No.

[knocks on door]
Come in.

Excuse me, Carlos.

Oh, Cesar.
Come in, come in.

This is Cesar.
Hello, Cesar.

Sister Bertrille.
Hello.

What is it?

You will have to cancel the
Martinez dinner party tonight.

To cancel it?
Uh, just a minute.

Sit down.

A cigar.
No, thanks.

Oh, please. Have one.

And another one.

Well...

Why?

The special dish
they requested, my prized duck,

is a calamity.
I would be ashamed to serve it.

But Cesar, you are an artist,
a genius.

What happened to you
lately?

I am not myself.

Every day,
I come to work exhausted.

Why? You are working
the same hours as before.

You have enough time
for breaks.

Oh, it is not the hours
in the kitchen, Carlos.

It's driving that taxicab
night after night.

You drive a taxi?

Si.
Midnight to 7 a.m.

[yawns]
It's killng me.

[Carlos] You are moonlighting?
I'm paying you good money.

Oh, I have no complaints,
Carlos.

Please sit down.

Rest. Easy.

I have no complaints,
Carlos.

But my brother-in-law, Jason,
is doing very badly

in the restaurant you opened
in New York City.

Every week
I have to send him money.

Oh, that's tough.

He's my dear sister's
husband.

I cannot turn my back on Rosa
and her eight little ones.

No, I can see--

She has eight children?

Five boys and three girls.

Never mind their sexes,
just as long as they're human.

Oh, no, Sister Bertrille.

I am not going to bring
his brother-in-law

who can't even run a restaurant
all the way from New York

just because
he has eight children. No.

Why not?

He's a lousy businessman
but a wonderful cook.

And besides,
that would solve everything.

Cesar could stop moonlighting
and get a lot of rest,

and Jason
could support his family.

And by a mere coincidence,

you are going to save
your day camp.

Why, Carlos,
I never thought of that.

You know, everybody knows.
You are a very slow thinker.

More cornish hen,
Your Honor?

Yes, indeed.

It is magnificent.

[Jacqueline] Mm.
Certainly is.

I tell you, Cesar
is back in the groove.

Si.
He's really storming up a cook.

And having Jason
as an assistant chef

has made
quite a difference.

Sister Bertrille, is
"storming up a cook" correct?

No, but I like it better
your way.

Cesar and Jason sent over
this dinner as a special treat

to thank Sister Bertrille
for bringing them together.

And the brother-in-law's family.
When do they arrive?

They'll arrive tomorrow.

[mayor] Excellent.

The instant they land,

these papers will go
to the agency in San Jaun.

And there's no chance
of a last-minute hang up?

No.
They are eagerly waiting

to write the check
for the land.

Sisters, we have it made.

[knocks on door]

Come in.

Ah.
I'm sorry I'm late.

Señor Ramirez.
please, won't you sit down?

Enjoying your meal, Sisters?
[Sisters] Mm-hm.

I tell you,
Cesar has outdone himself.

Naturally.

It is his farewell
performance.

What do you mean,
"his farewell performance"?

Cesar and his brother-in-law

are leaving the island tonight
for New York.

Buy why? They're a perfect team.
[Carlos] They think so too.

So Cesar is going to take care
of the business end,

and Jason's gonna cook.

Does that mean Jason's family's
not coming to San Tanco?

[Carlos] Yes. And that's not all.

Cesar is going to take his wife
and his three children with him.

Oh, no.
That means we're right back

where we started from, 15 short.

And only two days to go.

And Señor Ferrone
ready to pounce.

Oh, what are we gonna do?

Reverend Mother,
could you lead us in prayer?

♪♪

[sighs]

Sister Bertrille, are you sure
you don't wanna keep it up,

just in case?

Just in case what?
Let's face it, we're dead.

Good afternoon,
Sisters.

Oh. Good afternoon,
Your Honor.

I came by
in case you have some good news

at the last minute.

Oh, well, I may as well
throw this away.

Oh, well, you might as well
keep it for the next election.

It'll show the mothers
you were trying to help.

Oh, my darling,
feast your eyes.

Good afternoon,
Mr. Mayor.

Good afternoon,
Señor Ferrone.

May I present to you
my wife, Ava.

How do you do?
A pleasure, señora.

I wanted her to see
my property.

It's not yours yet.

It will be soon enough.

I will see you tomorrow
at the public sale

with a certified check
for $3500.

[flatly]
I can't wait.

Last night,
we flew in from Miami.

Already, we have rented
a house here in San Tanco.

Lots of luck.

We wanted to be able
to come here

to see the Ferrone Towers
climb to the sky.

[chuckles]

It will be a showplace
for all of San Tanco, hey, Ava?

[Mrs. Ferrone] Yes, it will, Pedro.

Darling.
[Ferrone] Yes, my sweetheart?

Why don't we bring
the children over

and take their pictures
where the building will stand?

A magnificent idea.

Come, little ones.

We're going
to take a picture.

♪♪

[children chattering indistinctly]

Eight, nine, 10...

Eleven...
Twelve...

Twelve?

Uh...

Twelve.

Thirteen. Thirteen!
Thirteen!

Thirteen. Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

Yes, yes.

Fifteen Ferrones are now living
in San Tanco.

Just the right number.

I'll send this
via special messenger.

Don't bother.

♪♪

Oh, well.
Hello there, Mr. Stork.

Oh, where were you
when we needed you, huh?

♪♪

[laughing]

[children chattering indistinctly]

Ah. Oh. heh.

[grunts]

Oh, well...
[groans]

Well, it certainly is great
to be back in business.

Oh, yeah, it's great
if we can survive.

[chuckles]
[sighs]

Oh, look, Sisters.

You wanted your day camp,
Sisters?

Enjoy.

Everybody out!

[children chattering]
Out! Out!

Out, guys! Go on. Move out.
Go on, come on.

Careful, careful.

[coughs]

♪♪

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