Original subtitles

[main theme playing]

[whistling noise]

[barking]

[all chattering]

[Reverend Mother] Quiet, Sisters, please.

Now, the reason that I have called you all together is...

Where is Sister Bertrille?

I believe she was out on the playground.

She's making a trampoline out of an old mattress.

[kids cheering outside]

There she is.

Oh, I'll call her for you. Sister Bertrille!

Sister Bert...Oh!

[grunting]

I'm sorry I'm late, Reverend Mother.

I was trying out my new trampoline.

You know, trampoline?

Doin, doin, doin...

And then I got caught in an updraft.

Well, a-as I was saying,

the reason that I called you all together is this.

A most unusual letter I've received from a lawyer.

Oh, don't tell me.

Someone died and left us a great fortune.

How did you know?

You're kidding. It's true?

There's our playground equipment.

We can even get a Jungle John.

No, it's a jungle gym.

Who died, Reverend Mother?

Se�orClotario Diaz.

Um, would it be out of line to ask

how much Se�orDiaz left the convent?

It says, "You therefore inherit his entire estate

"which consists of his place of business,

"with the inventory of merchandise

"free and clear of debt."

Oh, wow! Someone gave us the business.

Sorry.

Like I said, someone gave us the business.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

[Reverend Mother] Well, it's not Macy's, Sisters,

but it's ours.

Oh, my. Oh, dear. Goodness.

[exclaiming]

[Reverend Mother] There must be buckets and mops about, Sisters,

and I'm going to look for some. Hmm.

A customer. A customer.

Hello. May I help you?

What has happened to Se�orDiaz?

Every time I've been here the store is closed.

Oh, well, he passed on.

Oh, that's a shame.

I want to return this nightgown.

My husband doesn't like it.

Oh well, perhaps your husband

would like to see you in some pajamas.

I wear pajamas. The nightgown was for him.

Could I have my refund, please?

Refund?

How-- How much of a refund?

What I paid, naturally. $3,98.

$3,98.

$3,98.

$1,50. 0,75, 2,75...

Three and 91, eight...

Thank you. Ahem.

Here you are. $3,98.

There you are. Thank you.

Come again.

[Reverend Mother] Here we are, Sisters.

Who was that?

Our first customer.

Se�or, you know that I don't like to complain

but your cousin Luis is driving me crazy.

Isn't he working out in the kitchen either?

I had to yank him yesterday.

He told Fernando, our pastry chef,

that he should be working in a doughnut stand.

He almost lost his head. Fernando?

Luis.

Fernando came at him with a meat cleaver.

So now I put him behind the bar,

and right away he decides

that peanuts and popcorn aren't good enough.

He is giving them hors d'oeuvres.

Well, that's not such a bad idea.

How much can those little meatballs and hot dogs cost?

He is serving them imported Russian caviar.

Luis? LUIS [on phone] Yes, Carlos?

I want to see you in my office right away.

Russian caviar. Does he want to put me out of business?

Next he'll want to serve, probably, pate de foie gras.

How did you guess?

Luis, would you get here!

[Luis] I am right here, Carlos.

Ready to serve you.

Thank you, Ramon.

Nice guy.

Luis, would you mind telling me

what's wrong with serving peanuts and popcorn?

For peasants, nothing.

But we are of the Ramirez family.

We have a tradition for elegant dining

that dates back to Felipe II.

Yeah, that's fine for private entertaining

but I'm running a business.

Then allow me to help you run it with style.

Caviar puts you in a class by yourself.

Oh, yeah. The bankrupt class.

Oh, I have disappointed you.

Luis, please don't be hurt.

It's just that I haven't found

the right place for your talents.

Well, I was happy in the dining room.

Yeah, but the maitre d' was not.

He said you argued with the customers.

I didn't argue.

I was just explaining to that tourist

how to pronounce "bouillabaisse."

What for? He wanted Yankee bean soup.

He didn't even mention bouillabaisse.

That's because he didn't know how to pronounce it.

Luis, I know I promised your mother

I would give you a chance here,

but I was thinking maybe this is not the right place

for a man with your imagination.

Now, Uncle Ignazio has a big furniture store in San Juan.

So maybe if you went to work...

You don't know.

That is where I was before I came here.

Oh, besides, I was told that, with my talent,

this is where I belong.

Who told you that?

Uncle Ignazio.

I should've guessed it.

[knocking on door]

Come in.

Am I interrupting something?

Sister Bertrille, your delightful presence

always illuminates the Casino Carlos.

He certainly knows how to make a girl feel wanted.

[Carlos] Oh, yes. Luis, you'd better get back to the bar.

And remember, no more free caviar with the drinks, huh?

No wonder the bar looked so crowded today.

How are things going, Sister?

Guess what? The convent owns a dry goods store

and the Reverend Mother thought perhaps you could help us.

Okay. Send me a dozen shirts, fifteen and a half.

French cuffs, a tab collar.

Well, that's not exactly what I had in mind,

but I'll take the order.

What did you have in mind?

We're not allowed to operate a business.

And so we have to find someone to run it for us.

I thought perhaps \ you'd help me write an ad.

Well, of course.

Let's see.

"Wanted: Man with dry goods experience,

"available for full time employment.

"Intelligent, efficient and with imagination."

Wait a minute.

What is it?

You don't have to advertise.

I think I have just the right man for you.

Efficient, intelligent, with imagination

and completely available.

[Luis] Patience, lovely ladies, patience.

Here. Here you are.

Your free shopping bag and your sewing kit.

Sewing kit and a free shopping bag.

This is for you. There you are.

Your sewing kit and your shopping bag.

Come back.

Did you see the way business is booming?

What business? It looks like you're giving stuff away.

Oh, you don't understand the psychology of merchandising.

I give them the tools

and they have to come back here to buy the raw materials.

Hello there.

Hey, I hear you're giving away

free shopping bags and sewing kits.

Yes, that's it. Here you are. Oh.

And this is the shopping bag.

Oh, thank you. Oh, they're very nice.

Hey, no green thread.

Oh, there you are. 12 cents.

[woman] You're selling it?

That's why we're in business.

Huh, if I wanted to buy it I could get it wholesale.

[woman] Good-bye.

So much for the psychology of merchandising.

[Jacqueline] We managed to survive the grand opening

and it was decided to assign Sister Bertrille

as liaison with the store for any unusual emergencies.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, kids, everyone back to class. Come on.

Recess is over. Come on.

[Jacqueline] As it turned out, we didn't have to wait long.

Sister Bertrille, Luis just called.

He needs you at the store. It's an emergency.

Oh, not again.

Okay, kids, everyone back to recess! Come on.

Where are the keys to the station wagon?

In the station wagon.

The Reverend Mother's using it. You're gonna have to...

Hmm.

Luis, what's the emergency?

Oh, I'm so glad you came.

Hold it here. Good.

Do you know SeñoraVallejo?Yeah.

Who lives at the beach?Yeah.

She phoned in an order for a bath mat.

That's an emergency?

No, but she needs it today. So?

Well, I advertised free delivery.

Luis, you don't have a delivery man.

I do now.

[Oriental music playing]

[telephone ringing]

Sister Sixto, would you please answer the telephone?

Certainly, Reverend Mother.

Oh, sausage and eggs, my favorite breakfast.

[Sixto] Convent San Tanco.

Oh, hello, Luis.

Yes, I'll tell her.

Well, hearty appetites, everyone.

Luis?

[Luis] Uh, Sister Bertrille, o-over here.

I'm sorry I had to bother you at breakfast.

What are you doing?

Well, the whole thing got jammed.

Uh, I cannot get out. Here are the scissors.

Why didn't you just cut yourself free?

Oh, no, I couldn't do that to Carlos.

This is his favorite tie.

Well, sausage and eggs

just happens to be my favorite breakfast.

Good evening, Reverend Mother, Sister.

Here is the account for the week.

I invented a new bookkeeping system

that makes it easier to see everything at a glance.

Uh, what are all these colors?

That's my new system.

You see, instead of the same old

black for profit and red for loss,

I thought I should be more creative.

So for profit I selected a happy color.

Emerald green.

And for loss something more unpleasant.

Brown.

Uh, and what is this?

Unusual expenses.

I might've known. Shocking pink.

Well, now, how do we stand?

It's all right there.

You see, the brown color shows the expenses for the week

and on this column is our income.

To find our profits we simply subtract

the expenses from the income.

Oh, I see.

But since that is impossible,

we just subtract the income from the expenses.

Well, it looks like we're $78 and 43 cents

in the brown.

Yes.

How many people do you think I should get?

As many as you need to spend the money.

Figure $20 to a customer.

Anything special you want them to buy?

No, anything he has to sell.

This week Luis is going to show a profit,

even if I have to show a loss.

This is a lot of money.

If the sisters fire Luis

he has to come back here to work for me.

Do you think this is enough?

Considering what we've been through with Luis,

I don't know how you could've let Carlos talk you out of it.

Well, Luis is his cousin

and blood is thicker than water.

But it's our blood.

[door bell ringing]

Look.

Thank you very much.

Well, I believe you are next.

Oh, no, he must be giving things away again.

Uh, I would like some handkerchiefs.

Handkerchiefs. We have some very nice plain white ones.

40 cents each.

Good. I'll have $20 worth.

$20 worth.

$20? That's 50 handkerchiefs.

I go to a lot of funerals.

Here you are. $20 even.

Thank you. Call again.

Señora? Well now, let me see.

Well, sheets, pillow cases,

kitchen towels. Okay.

Okay what?

What you said. I'll take a dozen of each.

A dozen of each.

Can you believe it?

No.

But I'll enjoy the hallucination as long as I can.

This is also yours.

Thank you very much. Call again.

[cash register ringing]

Now, what do you think?

Well, Luis, you've turned out to be quite a salesman.

Oh, thank you, but it's a God-given talent.

You're so good, I bet you could sell buttonhooks.

MAN [in Spanish] Good morning.

[Jacqueline] Hello.

Uh... [Luis] Yes?

I'll have six yards of white linen for shirts

and six large spools of white thread.

How about a buttonhook?

Okay, I'll take six of those, too.

Well, this is a decided improvement.

Yeah, look at all that emerald green.

The Bank of Ireland couldn't do any better.

Perhaps now we can forget about the dry goods business

and get back to convent business.

[Pedroza] If you don't mind

I'd rather speak to the Reverend Mother about it myself!

[exclaiming]

Excuse me, Sister.

I was only going to knock on the door.

Ah, Reverend Mother.

Oh, Reverend Mother, I am Flavio Pedroza.

And I'm here on business.

What kind of business, senor?

Uh, your kind of business.

We are competitors.

In God's work, there are no competitors.

Uh, I am talking about the dry good business.

I have a store on the Calle Pereira.

Oh, that's a coincidence. We have one on the Calle Escobar.

You're telling me.

What seems to be the problem, senor?

The problem is this, Reverend Mother.

With all due respect,

is it fair to use unfair business practices

under the cloak of the church?

[Reverend Mother] I beg your pardon?

I must warn you, Reverend Mother,

if you do not cease and desist,

I, I will have to take the matter up with the Bishop.

And if that doesn't work,

I will go straight to the top.

The top?

The Better Business Bureau.

I am afraid I do not know

what you are talking about, senor.

The sign. The sign!

You've seen a sign? That's right.

And I don't mean a sign from heaven.

Oh, dear!

[Reverend Mother] I see what senorPedroza means.

Yes, that is kind of hitting below the belt.

[sighing]

Good morning, Reverend Mother, Sisters.

Well, what do you think?

I think you had better take it down, Luis.

Why?

Because it is unfair competition.

[Luis] W-W-What's so unfair about it?

Every word in that sign is true.

Yes, but Se�orPedroza,

who owns the dry goods store on the Calle Pereira,

says that you are taking all of his customers away.

That's the whole idea.

But you don't understand.

We can't use the influence of the convent

to undermine a business enterprise.

But if you make me take that sign down,

you will be undermining this business enterprise.

I am afraid there is no alternative, Luis.

Okay, okay, I'll take it down.

But don't blame me if we end up

in the unpleasant brown again.

I have been a friend of the convent for years.

I have a whole drawer full of raffle tickets to prove it.

Why? ¿Por qué?

Why am I being punished like this?

Se�orPedroza, we took down the sign.

Too late.

Too late, Reverend Mother.

Everybody in town knows the convent owns the store.

It's been spread around by word of mouth.

And we have some pretty big mouths in this town.

Like your manager.

Do you mean that Luis is still telling people

about our connection with the store?

Hmm. You be the judge. Every time he makes a sale

he says, "May the Sisters of San Tanco bless you."

Well, I will certainly put a stop to,

to that practice.

But I do not know what else we can do.

You can put up,

you can put up a sign, Reverend Mother,

saying that the convent has nothing to do with the store.

Se�orPedroza, how can we do that?

I will pay for the sign.

Uh, this is a dilemma. Mmm-hmm.

And I,

I know of only one way to solve it.

Sell the store?

Why?

Well, it was the Reverend Mother's idea.

Really, we all feel terrible about it

because you really got it rolling along.

Who are you selling it to?

I don't know. I thought we'd advertise.

Hey, save your money.

I have the buyer.

You do? Who? Me.

You?

Luis, do you have the money to buy this store?

No, but with a cousin like Carlos, who needs the money?

He has enough to buy 50 of these stores.

I'm not interested.

But, but it's a good proposition, Carlos.

You don't have to take my word for it.

Ask the Sister.

Well, it's all there in--in black and white.

I mean, brown and green.

What is this, a coloring book?

It's my new bookkeeping system.

Forget it.

Luis, do you mind stepping outside for a moment?

No, no, no, I don't mind at all.

Carlos, I'm really surprised at you.

Aren't you the one that said

Luis was so imaginative and efficient

and competent and dynamic?

So I exaggerated a little.

[Bertrille] But you didn't exaggerate.

You have no idea how much merchandise

Luis sold this week at the store.

I have a much better idea than you think.

Draperies, handkerchiefs, shirts,

pillowcases, towels, six buttonhooks.

Oh, Carlos, you didn't.

Well, I'm sorry. I wanted Luis to look good.

I didn't want the Reverend Mother to fire him.

Oh, Carlos, that's terrible.

Well, I didn't mind spending a few dollars.

No, that's not what's terrible.

It's what you did to Luis.

What did I do? I tried to get him a job.

But I have to be out of my mind

to buy the store for him.

I'll just have to tell him.

Oh, sure. And tell him that he's a complete failure

and what a clever trick his cousin Carlos pulled on him.

Then you all can have a good laugh.

But I don't need to tell him that.

No, I'm sorry, Carlos.

I'm sure you know what to tell him without me.

Uh, Sister.

Luis, Carlos has something to tell you.

Yes, cousin Carlos?

Luis, it's not easy for me to say this.

I understand.

When one's heart is full, one's tongue is thick.

Luis, would you please listen what I have to say to you?

When two hearts beat as one, are words necessary, Cousin?

When we were children

we used to play in the country.

I remember one day I caught a frog that I cherished.

I even called it Carlos, after you.

He wanted that frog very badly.

Did I hesitate in giving it to him?

Not for a moment.

You never knew this,

but that night I cried myself to sleep.

I loved that frog.

What am I going on and on?

What did you want to say to me?

I hope you'll be very happy in the dry goods business.

I knew it.

I never doubted you for a minute.

Some cousin, huh?

Up!

Down!

Across!

Beautiful!

Ridiculous.

The Reverend Mother will have a fit.

Sisters.

Have any of you seen Sister Bertrille?

I missed her at mass this morning.

Well, she's doing a little advertising for Luis.

Advertising?

I thought that was in your line, Sister Jacqueline.

Not that kind of advertising.

Oh, dear.

What are we going to do with Luis?

Well, like they say, let the seller beware.

The expression is "Let the buyer beware,"

but in this case you may be right.

Well, I'm sorry I--I missed mass, Reverend Mother,

but I did a little in-flight praying.

I see.

Well, how do you like it?

[Jacqueline] "Dry goo?"

I ran out of smoke.

[end theme playing]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0