All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s02e24 The Convent Gets the Business.eng

[main theme playing]

[whistling noise]

[barking]

[all chattering]

[Reverend Mother] Quiet, Sisters, please.

Now, the reason that I have
called you all together is...

Where is
Sister Bertrille?

I believe she was out
on the playground.

She's making a trampoline
out of an old mattress.

[kids cheering outside]

There she is.

Oh, I'll call her for you.
Sister Bertrille!

Sister Bert...Oh!

[grunting]

I'm sorry I'm late,
Reverend Mother.

I was trying out
my new trampoline.

You know,
trampoline?

Doin, doin, doin...

And then I got caught
in an updraft.

Well, a-as I was saying,

the reason that I called you
all together is this.

A most unusual letter
I've received from a lawyer.

Oh, don't tell me.

Someone died and
left us a great fortune.

How did you know?

You're kidding.
It's true?

There's our
playground equipment.

We can even get
a Jungle John.

No, it's a jungle gym.

Who died,
Reverend Mother?

Se�orClotario Diaz.

Um, would it be
out of line to ask

how much Se�orDiaz
left the convent?

It says, "You therefore
inherit his entire estate

"which consists
of his place of business,

"with the inventory
of merchandise

"free and clear of debt."

Oh, wow! Someone
gave us the business.

Sorry.

Like I said, someone
gave us the business.

The Lord giveth
and the Lord taketh away.

[Reverend Mother] Well, it's not Macy's, Sisters,

but it's ours.

Oh, my. Oh, dear.
Goodness.

[exclaiming]

[Reverend Mother] There must be buckets
and mops about, Sisters,

and I'm going to look for some.
Hmm.

A customer. A
customer.

Hello. May I help you?

What has happened
to Se�orDiaz?

Every time I've been here
the store is closed.

Oh, well, he
passed on.

Oh, that's a shame.

I want to return
this nightgown.

My husband
doesn't like it.

Oh well, perhaps
your husband

would like to see you
in some pajamas.

I wear pajamas.
The nightgown was for him.

Could I have
my refund, please?

Refund?

How-- How much
of a refund?

What I paid, naturally.
$3,98.

$3,98.

$3,98.

$1,50.
0,75, 2,75...

Three and 91, eight...

Thank you. Ahem.

Here you are.
$3,98.

There you are.
Thank you.

Come again.

[Reverend Mother] Here we are, Sisters.

Who was that?

Our first customer.

Se�or, you know that
I don't like to complain

but your cousin Luis
is driving me crazy.

Isn't he working out
in the kitchen either?

I had to yank him
yesterday.

He told Fernando,
our pastry chef,

that he should be working
in a doughnut stand.

He almost lost his head.
Fernando?

Luis.

Fernando came at him
with a meat cleaver.

So now I put him
behind the bar,

and right away
he decides

that peanuts and popcorn
aren't good enough.

He is giving them
hors d'oeuvres.

Well, that's not
such a bad idea.

How much can those little
meatballs and hot dogs cost?

He is serving them
imported Russian caviar.

Luis?
LUIS [on phone] Yes, Carlos?

I want to see you
in my office right away.

Russian caviar. Does he want
to put me out of business?

Next he'll want to serve,
probably, pate de foie gras.

How did you guess?

Luis, would you get here!

[Luis] I am right here, Carlos.

Ready to serve you.

Thank you, Ramon.

Nice guy.

Luis, would you mind
telling me

what's wrong with serving
peanuts and popcorn?

For peasants, nothing.

But we are
of the Ramirez family.

We have a tradition
for elegant dining

that dates back
to Felipe II.

Yeah, that's fine
for private entertaining

but I'm running
a business.

Then allow me to help you
run it with style.

Caviar puts you
in a class by yourself.

Oh, yeah.
The bankrupt class.

Oh, I have disappointed you.

Luis, please don't be hurt.

It's just that
I haven't found

the right place
for your talents.

Well, I was happy
in the dining room.

Yeah, but the maitre d'
was not.

He said you argued
with the customers.

I didn't argue.

I was just explaining
to that tourist

how to pronounce
"bouillabaisse."

What for? He wanted
Yankee bean soup.

He didn't even mention
bouillabaisse.

That's because he didn't know
how to pronounce it.

Luis, I know I promised
your mother

I would give you
a chance here,

but I was thinking maybe
this is not the right place

for a man
with your imagination.

Now, Uncle Ignazio has a big
furniture store in San Juan.

So maybe if you
went to work...

You don't know.

That is where I was
before I came here.

Oh, besides, I was told that,
with my talent,

this is where I belong.

Who told you that?

Uncle Ignazio.

I should've guessed it.

[knocking on door]

Come in.

Am I interrupting
something?

Sister Bertrille,
your delightful presence

always illuminates
the Casino Carlos.

He certainly knows how
to make a girl feel wanted.

[Carlos] Oh, yes. Luis, you'd better
get back to the bar.

And remember, no more free
caviar with the drinks, huh?

No wonder the bar looked
so crowded today.

How are things going,
Sister?

Guess what? The convent
owns a dry goods store

and the Reverend Mother thought
perhaps you could help us.

Okay. Send me a dozen shirts,
fifteen and a half.

French cuffs,
a tab collar.

Well, that's not exactly
what I had in mind,

but I'll take the order.

What did you have in mind?

We're not allowed
to operate a business.

And so we have to find
someone to run it for us.

I thought perhaps \
you'd help me write an ad.

Well, of course.

Let's see.

"Wanted: Man with
dry goods experience,

"available for
full time employment.

"Intelligent, efficient
and with imagination."

Wait a minute.

What is it?

You don't have
to advertise.

I think I have just
the right man for you.

Efficient, intelligent,
with imagination

and completely available.

[Luis] Patience, lovely ladies,
patience.

Here. Here you are.

Your free shopping bag
and your sewing kit.

Sewing kit
and a free shopping bag.

This is for you.
There you are.

Your sewing kit
and your shopping bag.

Come back.

Did you see the way
business is booming?

What business? It looks like
you're giving stuff away.

Oh, you don't understand
the psychology of merchandising.

I give them the tools

and they have to come back here
to buy the raw materials.

Hello there.

Hey, I hear
you're giving away

free shopping bags
and sewing kits.

Yes, that's it. Here you are.
Oh.

And this is
the shopping bag.

Oh, thank you.
Oh, they're very nice.

Hey, no green thread.

Oh, there you are.
12 cents.

[woman] You're selling it?

That's why
we're in business.

Huh, if I wanted to buy it
I could get it wholesale.

[woman] Good-bye.

So much for the psychology
of merchandising.

[Jacqueline] We managed to survive
the grand opening

and it was decided
to assign Sister Bertrille

as liaison with the store
for any unusual emergencies.

Okay,
okay, okay.

Okay, kids, everyone
back to class. Come on.

Recess is over.
Come on.

[Jacqueline] As it turned out,
we didn't have to wait long.

Sister Bertrille,
Luis just called.

He needs you at the store.
It's an emergency.

Oh, not again.

Okay, kids, everyone back
to recess! Come on.

Where are the keys
to the station wagon?

In the station wagon.

The Reverend Mother's using it.
You're gonna have to...

Hmm.

Luis, what's the emergency?

Oh, I'm so glad you came.

Hold it here. Good.

Do you know SeñoraVallejo?Yeah.

Who lives at the beach?Yeah.

She phoned in an order
for a bath mat.

That's an emergency?

No, but she needs it today.
So?

Well, I advertised
free delivery.

Luis, you don't have
a delivery man.

I do now.

[Oriental music playing]

[telephone ringing]

Sister Sixto, would you please
answer the telephone?

Certainly,
Reverend Mother.

Oh, sausage and eggs,
my favorite breakfast.

[Sixto] Convent San Tanco.

Oh, hello, Luis.

Yes, I'll tell her.

Well, hearty appetites,
everyone.

Luis?

[Luis] Uh, Sister Bertrille,
o-over here.

I'm sorry I had to
bother you at breakfast.

What are you doing?

Well, the whole thing
got jammed.

Uh, I cannot get out.
Here are the scissors.

Why didn't you just
cut yourself free?

Oh, no, I couldn't
do that to Carlos.

This is his favorite tie.

Well, sausage and eggs

just happens to be
my favorite breakfast.

Good evening,
Reverend Mother, Sister.

Here is the account
for the week.

I invented a new
bookkeeping system

that makes it easier to see
everything at a glance.

Uh, what are all
these colors?

That's my new system.

You see, instead of
the same old

black for profit
and red for loss,

I thought I should be
more creative.

So for profit
I selected a happy color.

Emerald green.

And for loss something
more unpleasant.

Brown.

Uh, and what is this?

Unusual expenses.

I might've known.
Shocking pink.

Well, now,
how do we stand?

It's all right there.

You see, the brown color shows
the expenses for the week

and on this column
is our income.

To find our profits
we simply subtract

the expenses
from the income.

Oh, I see.

But since that is impossible,

we just subtract
the income from the expenses.

Well, it looks like
we're $78 and 43 cents

in the brown.

Yes.

How many people
do you think I should get?

As many as you need
to spend the money.

Figure $20
to a customer.

Anything special
you want them to buy?

No, anything
he has to sell.

This week Luis is going
to show a profit,

even if I have
to show a loss.

This is a lot of money.

If the sisters fire Luis

he has to come back here
to work for me.

Do you think
this is enough?

Considering what
we've been through with Luis,

I don't know how you could've
let Carlos talk you out of it.

Well, Luis
is his cousin

and blood
is thicker than water.

But it's our blood.

[door bell ringing]

Look.

Thank you very much.

Well, I believe
you are next.

Oh, no, he must be
giving things away again.

Uh, I would like
some handkerchiefs.

Handkerchiefs. We have some
very nice plain white ones.

40 cents each.

Good.
I'll have $20 worth.

$20 worth.

$20?
That's 50 handkerchiefs.

I go to a lot of funerals.

Here you are.
$20 even.

Thank you. Call again.

Señora?
Well now, let me see.

Well, sheets, pillow cases,

kitchen towels.
Okay.

Okay what?

What you said. I'll take
a dozen of each.

A dozen of each.

Can you believe it?

No.

But I'll enjoy the hallucination
as long as I can.

This is also yours.

Thank you very much.
Call again.

[cash register ringing]

Now, what do you think?

Well, Luis, you've turned out
to be quite a salesman.

Oh, thank you,
but it's a God-given talent.

You're so good, I bet
you could sell buttonhooks.

MAN [in Spanish]
Good morning.

[Jacqueline] Hello.

Uh...
[Luis] Yes?

I'll have six yards
of white linen for shirts

and six large spools
of white thread.

How about a buttonhook?

Okay, I'll take
six of those, too.

Well, this is a decided
improvement.

Yeah, look at all
that emerald green.

The Bank of Ireland
couldn't do any better.

Perhaps now we can forget
about the dry goods business

and get back
to convent business.

[Pedroza] If you don't mind

I'd rather speak to the Reverend
Mother about it myself!

[exclaiming]

Excuse me, Sister.

I was only going
to knock on the door.

Ah, Reverend Mother.

Oh, Reverend Mother,
I am Flavio Pedroza.

And I'm here
on business.

What kind
of business, senor?

Uh, your kind of business.

We are competitors.

In God's work,
there are no competitors.

Uh, I am talking about
the dry good business.

I have a store
on the Calle Pereira.

Oh, that's a coincidence. We
have one on the Calle Escobar.

You're telling me.

What seems to be
the problem, senor?

The problem is this,
Reverend Mother.

With all due respect,

is it fair to use
unfair business practices

under the cloak
of the church?

[Reverend Mother] I beg your pardon?

I must warn you,
Reverend Mother,

if you do not
cease and desist,

I, I will have to take
the matter up with the Bishop.

And if that doesn't work,

I will go straight
to the top.

The top?

The Better Business Bureau.

I am afraid I do not know

what you are
talking about, senor.

The sign. The sign!

You've seen a sign?
That's right.

And I don't mean
a sign from heaven.

Oh, dear!

[Reverend Mother] I see what senorPedroza means.

Yes, that is kind of
hitting below the belt.

[sighing]

Good morning,
Reverend Mother, Sisters.

Well, what do you think?

I think you had
better take it down, Luis.

Why?

Because it is
unfair competition.

[Luis] W-W-What's
so unfair about it?

Every word
in that sign is true.

Yes, but Se�orPedroza,

who owns the dry goods store
on the Calle Pereira,

says that you are taking
all of his customers away.

That's the whole idea.

But you don't understand.

We can't use the influence
of the convent

to undermine
a business enterprise.

But if you make me
take that sign down,

you will be undermining
this business enterprise.

I am afraid there is
no alternative, Luis.

Okay, okay,
I'll take it down.

But don't blame me
if we end up

in the unpleasant
brown again.

I have been a friend
of the convent for years.

I have a whole drawer full
of raffle tickets to prove it.

Why? ¿Por qué?

Why am I being
punished like this?

Se�orPedroza,
we took down the sign.

Too late.

Too late,
Reverend Mother.

Everybody in town knows
the convent owns the store.

It's been spread around
by word of mouth.

And we have some pretty
big mouths in this town.

Like your manager.

Do you mean that Luis
is still telling people

about our connection
with the store?

Hmm. You be the judge.
Every time he makes a sale

he says, "May the Sisters
of San Tanco bless you."

Well, I will certainly
put a stop to,

to that practice.

But I do not know
what else we can do.

You can put up,

you can put up a sign,
Reverend Mother,

saying that the convent has
nothing to do with the store.

Se�orPedroza,
how can we do that?

I will pay for the sign.

Uh, this is a dilemma.
Mmm-hmm.

And I,

I know of only one way
to solve it.

Sell the store?

Why?

Well, it was
the Reverend Mother's idea.

Really, we all feel terrible
about it

because you really
got it rolling along.

Who are you selling it to?

I don't know.
I thought we'd advertise.

Hey, save your money.

I have the buyer.

You do? Who?
Me.

You?

Luis, do you have
the money to buy this store?

No, but with a cousin like
Carlos, who needs the money?

He has enough
to buy 50 of these stores.

I'm not interested.

But, but it's a good
proposition, Carlos.

You don't have to
take my word for it.

Ask the Sister.

Well, it's all there
in--in black and white.

I mean,
brown and green.

What is this,
a coloring book?

It's my new
bookkeeping system.

Forget it.

Luis, do you mind stepping
outside for a moment?

No, no, no,
I don't mind at all.

Carlos, I'm really
surprised at you.

Aren't you
the one that said

Luis was so imaginative
and efficient

and competent
and dynamic?

So I exaggerated
a little.

[Bertrille] But you didn't exaggerate.

You have no idea
how much merchandise

Luis sold this week
at the store.

I have a much better idea
than you think.

Draperies,
handkerchiefs, shirts,

pillowcases, towels,
six buttonhooks.

Oh, Carlos,
you didn't.

Well, I'm sorry. I wanted
Luis to look good.

I didn't want the Reverend
Mother to fire him.

Oh, Carlos,
that's terrible.

Well, I didn't mind
spending a few dollars.

No, that's not
what's terrible.

It's what you did
to Luis.

What did I do?
I tried to get him a job.

But I have to be
out of my mind

to buy the store for him.

I'll just
have to tell him.

Oh, sure. And tell him that
he's a complete failure

and what a clever trick
his cousin Carlos pulled on him.

Then you all can have
a good laugh.

But I don't need
to tell him that.

No, I'm sorry, Carlos.

I'm sure you know what
to tell him without me.

Uh, Sister.

Luis, Carlos has
something to tell you.

Yes, cousin Carlos?

Luis, it's not easy
for me to say this.

I understand.

When one's heart is full,
one's tongue is thick.

Luis, would you please listen
what I have to say to you?

When two hearts beat as one,
are words necessary, Cousin?

When we were children

we used to play
in the country.

I remember one day I caught
a frog that I cherished.

I even called it Carlos,
after you.

He wanted that frog
very badly.

Did I hesitate
in giving it to him?

Not for a moment.

You never knew this,

but that night
I cried myself to sleep.

I loved that frog.

What am I going on and on?

What did you want
to say to me?

I hope you'll be very happy
in the dry goods business.

I knew it.

I never doubted you
for a minute.

Some cousin, huh?

Up!

Down!

Across!

Beautiful!

Ridiculous.

The Reverend Mother
will have a fit.

Sisters.

Have any of you
seen Sister Bertrille?

I missed her
at mass this morning.

Well, she's doing
a little advertising for Luis.

Advertising?

I thought that was in
your line, Sister Jacqueline.

Not that kind
of advertising.

Oh, dear.

What are we going
to do with Luis?

Well, like they say,
let the seller beware.

The expression is
"Let the buyer beware,"

but in this case
you may be right.

Well, I'm sorry I--I missed
mass, Reverend Mother,

but I did a little
in-flight praying.

I see.

Well, how do you
like it?

[Jacqueline] "Dry goo?"

I ran out of smoke.

[end theme playing]

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