Original subtitles

[barking]

Good afternoon, Sister.

When did they get the parking meters in?

Oh, this morning, under my personal supervision.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

They will bring a great source of revenue to this town.

As soon as the cement dries.

I'll see you later.

[stuttering] Sister Bertrille.

The meter. Oh, oh!

Oh, yeah.

I thought I had some pennies.

Kids, do you have any money?

Well, couldn't I have 45 seconds on the house?

I just have to run a quick... I am sorry, Sister,

but there can be no exceptions to the law.

Well, um...

Is--is this meter like the ones they have in the States?

Yes. As a matter of fact, we bought them

from a bankrupt city in Florida

at a fraction of their original cost.

I don't mind saying so myself, but because of me,

this town has made a shrewd investment.

I had to force this on the Chief, you know.

Well, I've heard that you're a genius

when it comes to money matters.

No, please, no.

Thank you very much, but a genius?

No, no, no, no.

Exceptionally clever, perhaps, yes.

Does this work on pennies?

Pennies and nickels?

When you put the penny in

and the little thing goes over there to two hours...

No, you know... Now, I remember at one time...

You do not seem to understand the function of this thing.

No? Pennies and nickels, of course, yes.

But you see, the penny would not... No?

You put the penny here, and it's only six minutes.

Oh, six! Yes.

When you put a nickel in there, only when you put a nickel,

it is seven minutes. Oh, yes, yes.

Yes, well, I'll see you later.

Oh, Sister Bertrille.

You forgot to put the...

[sighs]

I think you are clever also in money matters, eh?

Very clever.

Rosa, would you hand me the shopping list? I forgot it.

[horn honking]

Shut it off!

Oh.

Hit the latch.

Sister, permit me. Permit...

Ah! There.

I don't think you will have any more trouble with this horn.

I guess not.

Do not worry, huh?

I'll go and get the screwdriver and fix it personally.

Another public service of the local police force, huh?

Where are the headlights?

We don't have any.

Since when?

Well, I think we lost them the same time our muffler fell off.

A muffler I can overlook, Sister,

but section 439 of the Vehicle Code,

paragraph 3, subsection 4 states

that all cars must have headlights.

Yes, when driven at night.

But we don't ever drive this car at night.

That's not the point.

In case of an emergency...

Well, in an emergency we call Carlos and borrow his car.

Sister Bertrille. Yes?

That emergency has arrived.

I'm going to impound your car.

Impounding the car?

Well, we need it to run errands

and pick up supplies and take the kids places.

You can't impound our car.

Sister, I do not write the laws.

I am only here to enforce them.

And this is only for your safety,

for the safety of the children,

for safety of everyone.

Couldn't you make just one little exception, please?

There'll be no exception in matters of the law.

You know, once I was forced,

I mean, really forced to give a ticket

to someone for jaywalking.

And to this day, my grandmother has never forgiven me.

Well, who'd you give the ticket to? Her?

No, my grandfather.

Her point was that I should have been

more lenient because of the wheelchair.

But the law is the law. The law is the law.

Okay, kids, come on. Everyone out.

We'll see if Carlos can drive us back

to the convent after we finish our shopping.

The car will be down at the city garage, eh?

Good day, Sister.

Well, it was until now.

You kids wait here. I'll be right back.

Hi, Carlos. I'm sorry, Sister. I'm in a hurry.

Where are you going? To pay the parking meter.

That nincompoop Fomento and his ideas.

He expects my customers to leave in the middle of a hot roll

to put money in the meter.

What can I do for you, Sister? Well, I thought perhaps

you could drive us back to the convent,

but I guess I caught you at a bad time, huh?

What happened to your station wagon?

Fomento happened to it.

What? Well, he impounded it

'cause it didn't have any headlights on it.

Oh!

That man is a complete idiot.

You must learn to be tolerant of others.

With the way I feel about him, that's to be tolerant.

Here, get some gas.

Okay.

Here are the keys. Thank you.

Bye. Bye.

I want you kids to be sure and wipe off your feet carefully

before you get in Carlos' car.

Push that little thing. Good, good.

Uh-oh. Somebody's gonna get a ticket.

Thank you, Sister.

You just saved me from getting a ticket.

Oh, my pleasure.

Uh, wait,

I would like to reward you for your kindness.

Oh, well, that's not necessary. I couldn't accept it.

Well, then, how about a donation for the, uh...

Convent San Tanco.

Convent San Tanco.

Please accept this with my thanks.

Really, I couldn't.

Well, I never heard of a religious organization

that could not accept a donation.

Well, thank you for being so insistent.

$10?

Sir, you--you gave me $10.

He gave you $10?

For putting five cents in the meter?

Yeah.

Hey, that's a terrific way to make money for the convent.

Don't be silly. We can't do that.

Why not? Like the man said,

it isn't a reward, it's a donation.

Oh, that's the most ridiculous thing.

It's the most... It is?

...ridiculous thing I ever heard of.

If the Reverend Mother was here, she would turn pinkies down.

Thumbs. That, too.

Well, that's what I told the kids.

But it would be nice to have some money to get a new car.

Is there no way of fixing the station wagon?

The question is not fixing, it's finding.

I don't know how I'm gonna find

a pair of headlights for a 1947 whatchamacallit.

Couldn't we send to Detroit for it?

The Smithsonian Institute is in Washington.

Oh. Well, we'll think of something.

How about this?

After putting a nickel in the meter...

Yes? ...we could leave a note

on the windshield saying...

No, no.

No, no.

Well, I just thought I'd give it the old convent try.

What did Sister Sixto say?

She said no dice.

Rosa. What?

Sister Sixto told Sister Bertrille to forget it.

She didn't tell us.

But what is wrong for Sister is wrong for us, too, no?

No, we are children.

We're expected to make mistakes sometimes,

or else we wouldn't be normal.

Get it? I get it.

Look!

"Courtesy of the Sisters of the Convent of San Tanco."

I wish to impress upon you

that interfering with the law

is as serious an offense as breaking the law.

Well, I only put money in a meter one time

to keep someone from getting a ticket. Eh?

Would you mind explaining this to me, Sister?

Sister Bertrille, can you explain this?

"Courtesy of the Sisters of the Convent San..."

Well, look how "Sisters" is spelled, S-E-E-S-T-E-R-S.

It should be with two R's, no?

No.

I'll lay you eight to five I know who's behind this.

Interference with the law

should be dealt with severely.

But they were just trying to help out the convent.

Yes, Captain. We will see that they are punished.

Severely.

I am a believer that the punishment should fit the crime.

You enjoyed writing the notes, huh?

Well, I'm going to give you this pleasure, you know.

I want you to write one hundred times,

"I will never interfere with the law again."

And no carbon paper, please.

[both] Yes, Captain Fomento. Good.

And remember, children, the law is your friend.

So where's all the money from the meters

you talked me into buying from those two men?

Where's all the money you said would flow

into the city treasury?

Chief Galindo, I cannot understand

what has happened with the money.

But with my own eyes I have seen people

putting money into the meters and yet they are empty.

But I have developed a theory.

And what is that?

Someone's stealing.

I have news for you, dear brother-in-law.

You are the master of the obvious.

Thank you.

[knocking]

[Fomento] Come in.

Oh. Oh.

Sister Bertrille?

"I will not interfere with the law." One hundred times.

Two, four, six, eight...

Well, I will count it later.

Going over today's loot?

Whatever there's left of it.

Someone has been stealing from the meters.

Oh, that's too bad. Captain, I was wondering

if you could unimpound our car.

But the question is, who is that someone?

You see, we can't find any headlights for it.

Is it possible we could use two flashlights?

And how can that someone open up the coin boxes?

With very strong batteries.

How can you open up the coin boxes with batteries?

I'm talking about our car.

And I thought you were...

Oh, Sister Bertrille, please. I have so much on my mind.

When you find the headlights,

then I will release the station wagon and not before.

We can't find any headlights old enough.

I thought maybe you might have a suggestion.

Suggestion, suggestion. Uh, search the roads.

They are cluttered with abandoned cars.

Do you know why that is?

Because we are living in an age of planned obsolescence.

Nothing will last anymore, as it used to be.

Now, you take for instance this cigarette lighter.

It came with a lifetime guarantee.

And only after 20 years, it doesn't work anymore.

Well, I'll try your suggestion.

I'm sorry you're having bad luck with the meters.

Oh, don't worry, Sister.

They will not escape my trappings.

[Bertrille] Oh! [Fomento exclaiming]

The water! Come on, quick, quick, quick!

The water!

[shouts]

Strategy will be simplicity in itself.

I mark the coins and then we plant them in the meters.

Simplicity itself.

And then what happens? And then what happens?

When the thief is ready to steal them,

we will pounce on them like gangbusters.

[Bertrille] Smorgasbord!

Good evening, Sister. Can I help you?

Yes, I'm looking for some used headlights.

For what kind of a car? A station wagon.

No. I mean, what year?

Oh, the motor, the body or the chassis?

[chuckling] Oh, it's one of those?

Well, if we don't have it, it has never been made.

Look around, Sister. I'll be with you as soon as I finish

with a couple of customers. Swell.

That wasn't a bad idea, keeping an extra key

to the meter boxes, huh?

It's like getting a dividend every night.

[shushing]

So, what do you say?

Well, as junk they're worth four bucks.

Not junk, Se�or. Surplus.

Left over from our sale to San Tanco.

And do you know what the town of San Tanco paid for them?

Then sell these to San Tanco also.

Make it five.

$4.50. Okay. Okay. You made a deal.

I hope you have change.

I only got a five.

Do we have change?

[both snickering]

5, 10, 25, 35, 40.

Fifty.

Gracias.

Help me with this and put them in the corner, will you?

I think I found just what I was looking for.

Splendid.

Yes. They're just like the ones that were

stolen off our car about two years ago.

They are? Yes.

They couldn't be the same headlights.

These were stolen four years ago.

How much do you want for them?

Well, let's see. A pair of hot headlights.

No charge, Sister.

Come on. I've got to give you something.

I mean, you're in this business to make money.

My pleasure. I'll give you $2.

Fifty cents. $1.50.

Seventy-five?

You drive a hard bargain. Sold.

Here you are. A dollar.

And twenty-five cents.

Okay. Thank you.

Thank you. Can you handle them?

Yeah. Bye. Okay. Bye.

And not one coin has turned up?

I have looked there, and I have looked here,

and no place have I seen the marked coins.

They are not only thieves, but misers also.

[knocking on door]

Come in.

Oh, Sister Bertrille.

You got the headlights for your car, eh?

Aren't they marvelous?

They're from a 1925 Deusenberg.

I think they'll work, don't you?

They transplant hearts. Why not headlights?

Captain, you have a sense of humor.

And you will find that I am also warm,

understanding, compassionate and busy.

What do you wish, Sister?

Well, the garage said they wouldn't be able

to install these until tomorrow,

and I thought perhaps...

Well, I will try to use my influence with the garage.

The owner is a dear old friend of mine. Yes.

[clears throat]

Oh, Arturo, this is Gaspar. Yes.

I want you to do me a little favor, which I would...

Gaspar. Yes.

I know it is late, but could you possibly

repair the station wagon

that belongs to the convent?

I was telling the Sister because of our old...

Gaspar.

Captain Gaspar Fomento at the police station.

The same one who last month gave you

a citation for violating fire regulations,

and the same one who will come over tomorrow

and investigate sanitary facilities...

If you will fix up the car right now,

pronto, eh? Splendid.

Adios,Arturo.

Oh, there's nothing like dear old friends, huh?

Thank you very much, Captain.

Sister, there will be a dime for the call.

No personal calls are allowed from headquarters.

Thank you. I'll pray for you.

But fortunately, there is no charge

for personal prayers at the convent.

Goodbye. Bye-bye.

Goodbye.

Salazar!

Tell me I do not see what I see, huh?

You do not see what you see.

I'm relieved.

How did she get the marked coin?

Bite your tongue if you are suggesting

that Sister is a thief.

Who said that?

The accusation was right in your voice. I could tell.

I know that in the past we have had differences

with the sisters, yes, but this, but this is impossible.

Impossible. Impossible.

Follow her.

Watch it. Come on, let's get out of here.

Sister Bertrille.

She's gone.

What is this?

Come on, come on.

With my own eyes I saw her.

The meter box was open,

and the nun was standing there.

Impossible.

Right. It was a little old man

and the meter box was closed.

The truth, Salazar.

It was the nun and the meter box was open.

Salazar, what are you saying?

Not a word of this to anyone, eh?

I cannot take the responsibility of arresting a sister.

Now, Chief Galindo is at the Casino Carlos, eh?

Well, I must go there to consult with him.

You know, Salazar, old friend,

they do not make nuns like they used to.

I should never have permitted Fomento

to talk me into buying those meters.

But what can I do now?

Well, I don't care during the night

when you don't have to put money in,

but during the daytime my business fell off

50 percent. Sit down.

I might have to board up the doors.

No, no, my friend. Before I permit you to do that,

I will board up the meters.

I'll put "out of order" signs on them.

Great. Rosita.

Champagne for the Chief.

Enjoy yourself.

[speaks Spanish]

In our business, you can't afford to be superstitious.

Okay. I did not see a flying nun.

It's all in my head.

Just keep saying that to yourself.

It's all in my head.

But I still wanna blow this town.

It gives me the creeps.

Finish your drink and we're on our way.

Just the two men I've been looking for.

I do not have a vindictive nature, gentlemen.

I'll make a deal with you.

A--A deal?

I'll sell you the meters for half what I paid for them.

And as a bonus I'll throw in the crook

who's been robbing the meter boxes.

[all laughing]

Chief Galindo, I must speak to you. Good evening, gentlemen.

Chief, I have cracked the case. May heaven forgive me,

you will not believe me what I'm going to say,

and neither will you.

I have found a material witness

who, with his own eyes, has seen the theft.

This kills me to say this, Chief, but the thief is...

You caught them. You caught them.

I caught them? I caught them? I caught who?

The robber meters. The mobber reters. The bad guys.

What are you saying, Sister Bertrille?

I saw these two taking money out of the meter boxes.

The marked coins.

Ah-ha!

I got them...

Numbskull.

Oh! May heaven forgive me, Sister Bertrille.

But you are under arrest.

Salazar, would you stop fooling around?

[door closes]

Oh...

Good morning, Sister.

The chapel is open for prayer and forgiveness

from 2:00 to 4:00 every afternoon.

No, but I have come to... I am sorry, Captain.

We are not on speaking terms.

No, but Sister, you...

You would not have to speak.

You would just have to nod.

Please? Huh, please?

I have come to inform you

that I have returned the station wagon

with the headlights attached.

Also, a new battery, a new muffler

and four whitewall tires,

courtesy of yours truly.

Oh, Captain, that wasn't necessary.

Also, I haven't finished.

This is for you.

"To Sister Bertrille, citizen of San Tanco.

"In commendation for meritorious police work.

"Gratefully, Chief Galindo."

Oh, how sweet.

Sweet. I would give my life for a piece of that parchment.

Well, can't win them all.

I will try to remember that, too.

Yeah. Also, this.

"I will not accuse the Sisters falsely again."

I wrote that 100 times.

You didn't have to do that.

Well, I did, if I wanted my badge back.

Well, I will be going now.

Good day, Captain. Welcome back on the force.

Thank you.

Sister Bertrille, tell me.

Will He never cease to punish me?

I'll try and put a good word in for you in vespers.

Thank you.

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