All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s02e08 Two Bad Eggs.eng

[main theme playing]

[whistling noise]

[barking]

[boy imitating plane whirring]

[audience laughing]

Blast you, Red Baron.
I'll get you yet.

Please get my airplane,
Sister.

Now look, Ace. You've scored one
direct hit and three possibles.

That's enough missions
for any kid with a sore throat.

[gentle music playing]

Sister Bertrille, I think
I will fly the kite now.

I think
you will take a nap now.

[newsreader] Now for news of local interest.

While being
taken into custody,

an alleged bank robber
escaped early this morning,

according to police reports.

The fugitive,
Ignacio Ferrante,

is believed to be hiding out
in the vicinity of San Tanco.

And now, news...

[clicks off]

[thinking]
Now just get ahold of yourself.

Just because you're
alone in the convent

with a sick kid is
no reason to fall apart.

Yeah?
If that's no reason, what is?

Now calm down
and try to remember

you're under the protection

of our fearless
Captain of Police.

Captain Fomento?

[cheerful music]

[relaxing yet lively music]

[loud crunching]

[rhythmic, soft music]

[chiming]

[thinking]
Try to remember that you're in the Convent San Tanco,

not Dracula's castle.

[ringing]

Hello, hello?

[woman] This is Lupe.
Can I come over?

Why, sure.

You won't believe
what I've been through.

I don't know what
I'll do with him.

He's driving meloca.
He is, huh?

I'll tell you about it
when I come over.

He mopes around.
Doesn't listen to a word I say.

Last night,
he left the house

and didn't get back
till morning.

Oh, uh, maybe
he's visiting a sick friend.

A dog visiting
a sick friend?

Calling your husband
names isn't gonna...

Husband?

I'm talking about my dog.
Who is this?

This is Sister Bertrille.

I was calling Constantina.

Oh...

Does this mean
you're not coming over?

[phone clicks]

[thinking]
You know what will calm you down?

Hah. A short flight.

[mellow music]

[audience laughs]

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

[audience chuckling]

[tapping hard bread]

[clock chiming]

[clock continues chiming]

[garbage disposal whirring]

[audience laughing uproariously]

[screaming]

[both screaming]

Sister Bertrille.

Captain Fomento,
I'm so glad you're here.

I heard a scream.
A scream?

Yes.
Where?

Well, the...
That was me.

What was the trouble?

Captain, there's
an intruder in the convent.

Intruder?
Oh, where? Where?

Well, I don't know
where he is,

but I know what he smokes.
Just come with me.

It's an interesting blend of
American and Turkish tobacco.

Latakia, a pinch of cavendish
and a drop of Virginia.

Low in tar and
high in nicotine.

And you get a coupon
with every package.

That's wonderful.
How do you know that?

It's my cigarette, Sister.

Where's everybody else?

They're at the Contessa
Valadon's charity party.

She gives one
every year for the convent.

I had to stay behind
and take care of a sick kid.

May I help you?
Well, no.

Actually, I was just passing by
to warn the Reverend Mother

that if in case any...

Well, being that
she is not here,

there is
no point at all then.

Warn her?
Warn her about what?

There is really
nothing to worry about.

In fact, you can take it
out of your mind completely.

But do not open
the doors to strangers,

especially if
he wears a mustache

and above all,
do not be frightened.

I'm already frightened.

So you might as well tell me
who I'm frightened of.

This big mouth of mine,
I don't know...

Being that the cat is out of the
bag, I might as well tell you.

Ignacio Ferrante,
bank robber,

while being taken
into custody, he escaped.

And he is now in
the neighborhood, right now.

I heard about it on the radio.
Is he dangerous?

Well, only if armed.

Is he armed?

Like a regiment.

Good day, Sister.
You're not leaving?

The sooner I go, the sooner
Ferrante will be captured.

Would you like some coffee?
You don't understand.

This is an all-point bulletin.
Some cherry pie?

A la mode?
I've got all officers

from here to San Felipe.
They're going to...

Do you have vanilla ice cream?
Tons of it.

I'll just have three scoops.
Okay.

How about another
piece of pie, Captain?

Some coffee?

Two portions are
more than sufficient.

Well, I must be going.

You're not gonna eat
and run, are you?

I am so full I can't run.
But I will walk.

What would you like
for dinner?

Sister,
you do not understand.

There is a criminal at large.

We're having steak
smothered in onions.

Yes, but I... Smothered.
What time are you serving?

Any minute.
No, Sister, really.

You're acting like
a young hysterical girl.

Well, I am
a young hysterical girl.

[whispering]
What was that?

I don't hear a sound.

Neither do I.
That's what's scary.

You said he was
a professional burglar,

so he wouldn't
make a sound, right?

Right.

Well, we didn't hear
a sound.

Maybe the sound we didn't hear
is the one he isn't making.

[audience laughing]

[mellow music]

[tires screeching]

[newsreader] And now for the news
of the local scene.

There are
no new developments

in the search
for the alleged bank robber

who escaped
from the police

while in custody
early this morning.

According to the San Tanco
police officials,

the man is known
as Ignacio Ferrante.

He is 6'4",
weighs 230 pounds

and has a black mustache.

[Bertrille] Yes?

[man] My poor automobile
is in need of water.

I would deem it an act of mercy
if I could get some here.

Okay. Come on in.

[exhaling]

May the, uh,
saints bless you, Sister.

There's plenty more
where that came from.

Goodness me, you look
as thirsty as your car.

How about some iced tea?

That's very kind of you, Sister,
but, uh, I am in a great hurry.

Rush, rush, that's the trouble
with the world today.

How about some cherry pie
to go with your iced tea?

Thank you, but no.

I'd consider it a great favor
if you'd stay for a while.

Sister, are you
trying to keep me here?

Well, frankly, yes.

You see, there's this escaped
bank robber lurking around...

Well, I'm afraid
to be alone.

Relax yourself.

This is the last place
a bank robber would hide.

Take it from me.

Not if he was clever.

I mean, who'd think
of looking for him here?

[whimpering]

Forgive me
for saying this, Sister.

I mean it only in
the greatest respect,

but you have
a very good criminal mind.

Cherry pie, huh?

Yeah, on second thought, I think
I'll stay and have some iced tea

and cherry pie.

Oh, thank you.

I feel so much safer

knowing there's a man
around the convent.

So you see,
there are three roads.

And if you don't wanna
take the highway,

then you can take the other
two roads to San Raphael.

I'm very grateful to you,
Sister, for the information.

Wouldn't you like
some more iced tea?

Sister, if I were a camel

I would have
enough iced tea in me

to cross the Sahara...
non-stop.

You can't go.

There's a lot you haven't
told me about yourself.

What do you mean?

You told me you're a salesman.
So what do you sell?

Nothing that
would interest you.

Try me. We're always buying
things. What's your line?

I sell, uh, coffins.

Well, you're in luck. We're
in the market for a coffin.

[sighing]

Somebody died?

No, but why wait
till the last minute?

Why don't you sit down,

and you can give me
your sales pitch.

Well, I'm sorry, Sister.
I sell only wholesale.

Now I must go.

[door creaking]

Now, you said
we were alone.

Don't frighten the child.

Felix, hello.
How are you? Come on in.

Felix, t-t-this is
S-S-Se�orSmith.

That looks like a gun,
doesn't it? Well, it's not.

It's one of those things
that shoots blanks,

you know,
when they start races?

[Felix] You are going
to have a race?

[Bertrille] No, not right this second.

Se�orSmith,
you can put it away.

No, no, Sister.

It needs to be polished.

Well, Se�orSmith
was just leaving.

"SMITH":
No, no, I'm sorry, Sister.

Now that you know
the reason for my visit,

I think we have
many things to discuss.

[Felix] Oh, I know.

You're going to adopt a child
from the orphanage, yes?

That's it. Heh.

And we were just
going over the stock.

Well, don't look at me, senor.
I'm already taken.

Next week, I go to live in San
Tomas with my new parents.

[Bertrille] That's very interesting. But
it's beddy-bye time for Felix.

Come on. All right.
Upstairs to bed. Take a nap.

I just finished my nap.
Take another one.

But I'm hungry.

Then I'll bring you
a sandwich upstairs, okay?

Yes, Sister.
All right.

Thank you for
not frightening the child.

And who else is here?

Nobody, honest.
They all went to a party.

Yeah.

Where do you think
you're going, huh? Ah, ah.

I was just gonna
show you to the door.

Now you've made it impossible
for me to leave.

As soon as I walk out the door,
you'll call the police.

Call the police?
Why should I do that?

I don't have
anything against you.

You would swear this
on the holy Bible?

That's not cricket.

Se�or!
It must be a boy, senor?

I mean if you don't like Manuel,
you can adopt Olivia.

She may not be a boy,

but she's the best
second-baseman on our team.

Tell him her
batting average, Sister.

Three sixty-five.

I'll put her down on my list.

Now go to bed, pronto.

Yes, sir.

Now, let me see,
where were we?

Oh. Yes, about me
calling the police.

May I make a suggestion?
Certainly.

Give yourself up.

Sister, I like you. Don't spoil
it with stupid remarks.

[police siren wailing]

That must be Captain Fomento
coming back.

The police?
San Tanco's finest.

You might as well
give yourself up.

You're practically surrounded.
I don't surround easy, Sister.

And if I am caught, I will take
you and the boy with me.

Where?

Just follow
the direction of the gun.

Oh. Out this way.
Come on.

Sister Bertrille!

Captain?
I didn't hear you knocking.

There's a black Sedan parked
in front of the convent.

I'm suspicious
because I've never seen...

Captain, have you
met the Mother General?

Then it is your car.

For a moment
I thought that...

Well, never mind.

I'm glad you have company.

I'm happy to meet you,
Mother General.

Are you, uh,
enjoying your stay?

I said, are you...
She's taken a vow of silence.

Oh.

Oh, no.

You'd better do as she says.

Excuse me, I do not wish
to pry, Mother General.

But if you are...
Excuse me.

If you are silent,
how can you give orders?

Oh.

"It is not easy."

"It is not easy," huh?
Very good. Very good.

Incidentally, did you tell
the Mother General about the...

She knows. She knows.

Fear not, Mother General,

because we know
that Ignacio Ferrante

will not be able to
escape our dragnet.

Did you hear that,
Mother General?

"Why?"
Good question.

I will show you why.

See here now, there are
only three escape routes

that he can take.

One will be Cienega Pass,

one, Avenida Colombo,

and the other
is Bolivar Freeway.

But the police force
from San Raphael

will be guarding
Cienega Pass.

And the police force
from San Juan

will be guarding
Avenida Colombo.

If he should be so foolish,
but so very, very, very foolish

to try to escape
through the Bolivar Freeway,

Sergeant Salazar will be there
ready to crush him.

[audience laughing]

Like this cream pie.

I finished the sandwich.

Hello, Captain Fomento.
Oh, hello, Felix.

Where is the man?

[Fomento] Man? Man?
What man?

Man?
Oh, man, man.

He means
the man who came here.

He wanted some
iced tea for his car...

Water for his radiator.

[Fomento] Did he have a mustache?

Not when he came in.

He could have shaven it off.
I don't think so.

He wouldn't have looked good
with a mustache.

[Fomento] Can you describe him to me?

I think he
looked a little like...

Oh...

You better take another nap.
Sleep, sleep...

When I grow up,

I'm never sleeping
again as long as I live.

These children.

Mother General, could you
keep an eye on Sister Bertrille?

You know, she with the big heart
that she has,

she would invite
Jack the Ripper to supper.

Well, I must
be going.

You're not leaving now,
are you?

I will be back in an hour.

What is it,
Mother General?

Yes.

You will like a gun
for your protection?

I'm afraid of guns.
She's afraid of guns.

Terrified.

"I am not."
She is not.

Yes, but if you give us
your gun

then you'll be
unprotected and...

But I always carry
an extra weapon in my car.

[Fomento] Mother General, do you know
how to use a gun?

No.
I'd like to show you.

This is a revolver,
of course.

And it holds six rounds.

Now, to release the chamber,
you must...

And...

I bet you were a general before
you were a Mother General.

And the first rule is
not to point the gun, no.

You see, it has
a sensitive trigger and...

And it will go off

unless you put your hands
on your head, pronto.

Ignacio Ferrante,
it is my duty

to advise you of your
constitutional rights.

One, you have
the right to be silent.

Two, anything you say can
and will be held against you

in any court of the law.

Three, you are allowed
to make one telephone call

to speak to your attorney.

Four, you will never get
through the road block.

A captain of police
driving the car,

two nuns in the backseat,

one holding a gun
to the Captain's head,

will get through.

I believe
you are right.

However, I will not
take another step.

Repeat that statement.

I think what he means is
that he can't take another step

because his boots
are too tight.

No.

I will not take another step
because I choose not to.

Ferrante, you will get to your
car only over my dead body.

As you wish.

Captain, this is no time
to be a hero.

What other time do I have?

Fining litterbugs?

Giving tickets
for overtime parking?

Arresting jaywalkers?

An opportunity like this comes
once in a lifetime.

Ferrante,
as an officer of the law,

I demand that you give
yourself up without a struggle

unless you wish to experience
the true meaning...

[wind blowing]

...of police brutality.

Sister Bertrille,
I want you to...

I want you to witness
a single-handed capture.

I'll testify to that.

You see, Sister?

The only way to treat a bully
is to stand up to him.

She...

You... fly... in the air
like a bird.

She flew like a bird. In the air
like a bird. Big bird.

Se�or,if you think
that you're going

to get out of this
by pleading insanity...

you're out of your mind.

March!

Like a bird...

[knocking on door]

Who is it?

[Fomento] Captain Fomento.

How do I know
it's Captain Fomento?

Oh, please,
open the door, Sister.

This is Captain Fomento.

Oh, it's Captain Fomento,
all right.

You can always
use the back door.

How'd it go?
H-H-How did it go?

Ignacio Ferrante
is safely behind bars.

Mmm-hmm.

The Reverend Mother's office.

That will be the best place.

For what?

For the interview.

Interview? What interview?

On television. Yes.
On television.

We are going to be interviewed
for the 6:00 news.

They should be here
any moment.

What kind of questions
will they ask?

What do reporters ask?
Questions, of course.

[ringing]

Hello?

Yes, Reverend Mother.

Oh, we're fine.

You did?
She heard it on the radio.

Uh, yes, and we're
going to be interviewed

on television
in a few minutes.

I wasn't scared.
Terrified is the word.

Oh, Reverend Mother,
you should have seen him.

Those cold black eyes and
that horrible sneer on his face,

holding a gun
at our heads.

But Captain Fomento
stood right up to him.

I've never seen a man so brave
in the face of death.

I mean, he was unarmed, facing
a loaded gun held by a madman.

It's a miracle
Ferrante didn't just

pull the trigger
and blow our heads...

[thudding]

I'll call you back,
Reverend Mother.

I have another emergency.

[audience laughing]

[end theme playing]

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