All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s02e02 The Crooked Convent.eng

[barking]

[Jacqueline]
Gardeners come and gardeners go.

Mostly they go.

And that's why
Sister Bertrille

volunteered
for gardening duty.

She was perfect for the job

since she is
as much a child of nature

as the birds and the bees.

After all,
she's as busy as a bee

and she flies like a bird.

Excuse me, do you have
reservations for this flight?

Shoo. Shoo. Shoo.

Oh, swell.

Now he's brought
the whole family.

[exclaiming]

[Jacqueline]
I dare say,

we have the only non-scheduled
scarecrow in existence.

It's hard to believe
that anything

as innocent
as a Church bazaar

could have started
so much trouble

for the Convent San Tanco.

Actually, the bazaar itself

was the most successful
one we've ever had.

But, more importantly,

it was there
that we all met

San Tanco's
new Captain of Police,

Se�or Fomento.

A model of pride,
dedication,

self-confidence and stability.

Oh, Captain Fomento,
are you enjoying yourself?

Yes, Reverend Mother.

But next time I would suggest

that you would apply
for a police permit.

Oh, is that necessary?

No, but it wouldn't hurt.

Captain!

Are you-- Are you all right?

Yes, I'm all right.
Thank you.

As Captain of the Police,

I'm also serving in the Building
and Safety Commission.

Therefore,
I am telling you, as of now,

I am condemning your booth!

Well, as a matter of fact,
Captain,

you see, we were just in
the process of dismantling it.

Yes. And you just
gave us a great start.

Is everything all right?

Oh, yes.
Thank you very much, senor.

Se�orRamirez,
have you met

our new Captain of Police,
Captain Fomento?

Oh, of course.
Pleasure to see you.

Likewise.
And I must congratulate you

on your winning the raffle.

Uh, I must confess
that I had my eye

on that television set.

I bought 10 tickets.

Oh, that was very
generous of you, Captain.

How many did you buy?

One.

One? Imagine,

you buy one ticket
and it is drawn.

You must be truly,
a very lucky man, senor.

He's luckier than
you think, Captain.

Carlos is the one who donated
the television set.

That's amazing.

You donate the prize,
you buy one ticket,

and out of hundreds
of tickets in the bowl,

yours is picked, huh?

Are you suggesting, Captain,

that there was anything crooked
about this raffle?

You said crooked, I didn't.

I'm not too sure I like
your implication, Captain,

I mean,
you being at the raffle,

you saw the Reverend Mother
pull all the ticket.

But I am certain,
Captain Fomento,

that you couldn't
help seeing

that I was wearing a blindfold
when I pulled out the ticket.

Yes, and this is
the blindfold she wore.

How convenient.
You donate the prize

and the blindfold, huh?

Observe, Sister.

Hmm?

Yes, I have to admit
that I wouldn't wanna be wearing

that blindfold if I were facing
a firing squad.

Very well put, Sister.

[chuckling]

They just don't make
sport jackets like they used to.

Reverend Mother,
if you will excuse me,

I have to go by my casino.

And then I have to go
to the bank before it closes.

And then I have to go
to the tailor before he closes.

Sister Bertrille,
we thought we'd give you

a hand taking down the wheel.

Oh, be very careful,
it was very kind to us.

Yes, we could say we're taking
in money, hand over feet.

No, that's fist.

Oh, taking money
fist over feet.

Sister! Excuse me.

Um, you have had
a very good fortune

with this wheel
of fortune, huh?

Yes, we made $81.50.

No one could beat the wheel.

I had to lose $25
to find that out.

He was our best customer.

Oh, well, you know
what they say, Captain.

"The wheel of fortune,
around she goes,

"and where she stops,
nobody knows."

[all laughing]

But sometimes, where she goes,
somebody does know.

Captain Fomento,
are you implying

that someone has been
tampering with this wheel?

Reverend Mother, please.

I'm not trying to imply
nothing at all like that.

But there have been
instances in the past,

where wheels of fortune
such as these

have been deliberately
rigged and weighted

for the benefit of the house.

And, uh,

I have found the rigging
and the weighting,

and you're all under arrest!

[Reverend Mother] You must be joking.

When I lost my money,
I lost my sense of humor.

[Bertrille] We don't even own this wheel.

Now wait a minute.
We never touched the wheel.

Where did you get if from?

It happens to be
a very generous gift

from a very old
friend of the convent.

[Fomento] You call a person
like this generous?

Let us not forget
that he also donated

the blindfold
and the television set.

But it was all for charity.

The law does not
recognize charity

as a justification
for illegal gambling.

Oh, come on, Captain.

Only a fool would lose
more than $1

to win a box
of homemade fudge.

While I was there,
a fool lost $25.

What?
Nothing.

Now, if you have tampered
with the wheel at the bazaar,

how do we know
that you have not done

the same thing here
in your own casino?

You are free
to inspect every wheel

in this house at any time.

And the cards, too?

The cards?
Uh-huh.

I want you to know that I have
had a great deal of experience

in detecting marked cards

and observing
the practice of dealing

from the bottom of the deck.

If I were you, Captain,

I wouldn't play
cards with strangers.

[knock on door]

[Carlos] Come in.

Carlos, the Reverend Mother
wanted to know if perhaps...

Oh,

Sister Bertrille, I believe.
Hello, Captain.

Tell me, Sister,
do you often visit here?

The Sisters of the convent
consider me to be a patron.

Only last week he donated

a work bench to stimulate
interest in wood working.

Oh, that's good thinking.

Yes, very good thinking.

You see, there's always
a shortage of carpenters

who can make handmade wheels.

[Bertrille] Are you all right, Captain?

I shall be going now,
Se�orRamirez,

but I want you to know

I shall be watching
your every step closely.

In fact, I shall be watching
all of San Tanco closely.

What can I do for you,
Sister?

Well, it's not that
we don't appreciate

what you've done for us,

but the Reverend Mother feels

perhaps you've done
a little too much.

Oh, I just
got through explaining

to Captain Fomento
that nobody got hurt.

Except some fool
that lost $25.

Who do you think
that fool is?

Him?

No wonder
he's playing Charlie Chan.

I tell you, we have to get him
off our backs. How?

Well, there is only one way
to cure a sore loser.

Give him back his money.

And that's exactly what
the Reverend Mother intends on.

Oh, no. My crime,
I want to pay for it. $25.

[Jacqueline]
When Captain Fomento reported his suspicions

about the convent
and the crooked wheel

to his brother-in-law,
Chief Galindo,

the Chief summed
up his feelings in two words.

Get out!

[knock on door]
Come in!

Good afternoon, Chief.

Sister Bertrille.

Captain,
could I see you for a moment?

Are you through with me,
sir?

Keep this up and I will be.

I wanted to give you this.

It's a little something.

We hope
it'll take care of things.

Nice to see you again,
Chief.

Oh.

Uh-huh!
What is it?

Evidence that the Bishop
is skimming the poor box?

Oh, laugh if you will,

but this little envelope
that was delivered to me

by Sister Bertrille is
the inevitable bribe.

Bribe?
Uh-huh.

You heard it with
your own ears, no?

Here is a little something
to take care of things.

Fomento,
you're out of your mind,

and if you pursue
this any further

you'll be out of a job!

Furthermore...

Fomento, take my advice,

forget about the underworld

and stamp out the litterbugs.

Captain Fomento speaking.

Just one moment, please.

Nacio. Nacio,
another phone call for you.

Oh, thank you, Captain.

Thank you.

This is the fifth call
this morning, huh?

Yes. Sorry, Captain.
It's all right.

Hello. Oh, yes, cousin.
Yes.

[stammering]
Certainly, I'll take care of everything.

Mmm-hmm.

Uh, that's my cousin.
He's sick.

Nacio.
Yes, Captain?

It is my
understanding that the...

At the Convent San Tanco,

they are looking
for a gardener.

How would you like
such a position?

Is the Captain displeased
with my work here?

No, no, no.
On the contrary.

I am most delighted
with your work.

No, I was thinking
that perhaps maybe

you could handle both jobs.

But I am perfectly
happy here.

I'm urging you to take the job
at the convent.

Besides,

the job calls
for little gardening,

but a lot of spying.

Yes?

I, uh, I believe
he is on his way.

Yes.

Nacio.

Telephone for me,
Reverend Mother? Yes.

I, uh, I believe
it is your, uh,

your nephew, Bernardo.

Oh yes,
on my mother's side.

You know, Nacio, we admire

a family that stays together,
a closely-knit family,

but, um,

you know, the Bishop tried
to reach us all day yesterday,

without success.

Hello. Yeah.

Uh,

Heyburner

to Watchmego.

Daily double.

Right.

No, I have no, uh, problem
with the police station,

I just moved
to a new location.

Tell the rest of the boys, uh,

I'm at the Convent
of San Tanco.

Bless you for calling,
Bernardo.

But you really should let the
new gardener take care of that.

Are you kidding?

The new gardener hasn't been
off the phone

long enough to rake a leaf.

He does get a lot of calls,
doesn't he?

I counted 12 so far today.

You know, if we're smart,

for Christmas
we'll all chip in

and get him a phone
for his lawn mower.

Oh.

Uh, that was my cousin,
Enrique.

Uh, I have a lot of relatives.

[bird calling]

Well, I--I--I hate to interfere

with your family
responsibilities,

but we could use a few
more flowers for the rectory.

Oh, yes, yes. Right away.

As soon as I,
uh, feed the birds.

Feed the birds?

Nacio, do you have
anything to report?

Yes.
Ah-ha.

I've seen the Sisters
go in there. Where?

There and do
a lot of whispering.

That is the chapel, and they
are praying, you stupid...

[Jacqueline] Nacio! Telephone!

[grunting]

[Jacqueline]
Things worked out rather equitably

between the Sisters
and Nacio.

The convent got
a lovely garden,

and he got an ecumenical
answering service.

[bird calling]

We also got a few
strange birdcalls.

Sister Jacqueline, do they have
bobolinks in Puerto Rico?

They do now.

[bird calling]

[Fomento] You have
anymore information?

Information about what?

Who is it?

Captain Fomento!

Oh, Captain.
Are you all right?

Well, yes, of...

Gracious.
That's wonderful.

Information about what?

Well...

Oh, yes, the machine,
the Auto Club.

I want information for when
they will be arriving here. Yes.

Would you like to use
our telephone?No, no.

You're welcome in
between Nacio's calls.

[chuckling]
Nacio. No, no, thank you.

They should be arriving here
any moment, you see.

Thank you. Thank you.

[Reverend Mother] Nacio! Telephone!

See what I mean?
Yes.

[Reverend Mother] Nacio!

Nacio, telephone!

Oh.

I think perhaps he's down in
the tool shed, Reverend Mother.

I see. Well then
would you please tell him

his Uncle Diego wants to speak
to him on the telephone.

Never have I witnessed
such family loyalty.

We'll look.
All right.

I wonder where he could be.

Even money
he's at the racetrack.

What makes you say that?

A racing form!
Why look, he's in horses.

Avidly,
if not professionally.

That would explain those phone
calls from those relatives.

What do you mean?

Sister Bertrille,
the Convent San Tanco

is a front for a bookmaker.

Well, you're not serious.
Nacio, a--a bookie?

That's the best bet
of the day.

Why, no wonder Captain Fomento's
been snooping around lately.

He's suspicious of Nacio
and he's probably waiting

for the right moment
to arrest him.

He'd better hurry.
Why?

Well, Nacio is committing
the cardinal sin of bookmakers.

He bets, too.

And according to the horses
he's picked here,

he'll be out of business
before the fifth race.

How come
you know so much

about horse racing,
Sister Jacqueline?

My father was a handicapper
for the St. Louis Chronicle.

Well, it all looks
awfully complicated to me.

Oh, no, it's not.
No?

No,
once you get the hang of it.

Now look,
here's the first race.

Nacio has circled number
four horse, King Saxon.

[Bertrille] So you think King Saxon
doesn't have a chance?

He's a goat.
Oh.

No, no, no, no.

The horse to beat
in this race is Lovers Delight.

Lovers Delight.

Yes, he's got good breeding

by Baron Estey
out of Action Gal. Oh.

She's a Glenn Spirit mare.
Oh.

Oh, they all have
a lot of speed

and with his number one
post position,

he should break on top and save
a lot of ground on the rail.

Well,
what about the second race?

Well, if anybody called me
for a bet on Poor Stan,

I'd lay off the money
on another bookie.

Right.

Anyway, Sister,
if you're right,

Nacio's gonna lose his shirt.

And on top of that,

he's going to be arrested
by Captain Fomento.

And then his troubles
will really start.

What do you mean?

He's got to face
the Reverend Mother.

Oh, we really should
warn the poor soul...

Yes.
...not to come back.

But I don't think
we can get there in time.

All I need is
a strong wind, Sister.

Now hear this.

This is your
Captain speaking.

We are closing in
on the gambling syndicate.

Pick up! I repeat, pick up
Carlos Ramirez immediately.

I personally will
round up the Sisters.

Oh, yes.

Tell Chief Galindo
that I was right.

The nuns are running
a crooked convent.

Over and...

out.

[Jacqueline]
They're off and Fomento takes an early lead.

And here comes Sister
Bertrille on the outside.

Now they're coming
down the home stretch

and it's Sister Bertrille
by a nose.

So much for the race.

Now to find our friend, Nacio,
before he loses his shirt.

Sister, what are you
doing at the racetrack?

Well, I have to find someone
and I had a hunch they'd...

A hunch?

To win at the races,
you need more than a hunch,

or even prayers.

I went to church this morning
and I'm out $300.

What church did you go to?

San Augustine.

I think that's for trotters.
Want a tip?

Put all your money
on Lovers Delight.

There's Nacio.

Nacio. Nacio,
am I glad I found you.

Sister Bertrille.
Sister?

A Sister shouldn't
be on the racetrack.

What will
the Protestants say?

Nacio, we came across
your racing forms.

All those phone calls, they
weren't from your relatives,

they were from people
placing bets.

Now admit it.

They could still
be my relatives.

Nacio.

[sighing]

Is the Reverend Mother
angry with me?

She doesn't know.
We haven't told her yet.

Good, then I can
still use her phone.

You can't still use
the convent.

And besides, Captain Fomento
is onto you, too.

Oh, no.
Yes.

Sister Bertrille,

Lovers Delight is a goat.

Not according
to Sister Jacqueline.

She says he's
dropping in class,

he's in light,
he loves the distance,

he's breaking
from the outside

and yesterday he ran six
furlongs in 1:11 and change.

Good luck from all of us
at the convent, Nacio.

I'm putting every cent I got

on Lovers Delight.

You are?

After what I just saw,
I'd be crazy not to.

I am sure that all
of you must have heard

that a confession
is good for the soul.

And I am sure, Captain,
that we are aware

of the value of confession,

but, uh, just what
would you have us confess to?

You know as well as I do,
Reverend Mother,

and I use the term loosely.

What's this about
raiding the...

May the Saints preserve us.

As a matter of fact, I think
the Saints

will be most delighted

that I have exposed
these imposters

and their crooked convent.

Are you out of your mind?

Is it not true
that this afternoon,

at exactly 17 minutes
past 4:00,

both of you were sitting
in the convent tool shed

selecting horses
from a racing form?

Well, I can explain...

[Fomento] No, no, no.

Yes or no.

Well, yes.

Sisters, you do not have to be
intimidated by the police.

Simply tell the truth.

Well, the truth of the matter
is we were in the tool shed

and we did have a racing form
and I was picking horses.

How many winners
did you have?

Really, Sister Sixto.

What do you say to that,
eh, Chief, huh?

Your beloved nuns
booking bets.

Good work, Salazar.
Wait outside.

Captain, may I ask you
why one of your storm troopers

arrested me
at the racetrack?

And what are
the Sisters doing here?

When I put out a dragnet,
I make a clean sweep.

Now do you get the picture,
Chief?

The Sisters work in the convent
and he's the outside man.

Well, I would say
that I have an airtight case.

I think there are few punctures
in your case, Captain.

Yes, like your friend,
Nacio.

He told me the whole story.

He was working for you,
wasn't he?

Exactly.
He is my undercover man.

You mean you planted him
in our garden?

Clever, eh?

Captain Fomento,
I dislike interrupting,

but may I ask
what is going on?

Nacio was using
the convent to take bets

and the Sisters found out.

What?

Our gardener was a...

A bookmaker.

Bookmaker?
Yes, Reverend Mother.

He moved his operation
to the convent

from this police station.

He was using the police station
to take bets?

But I assure you that there is
an explanation for this.

When I have Nacio arrested...

Forget it, Captain.

He's on his way
to a gardening job in Las Vegas.

Well, I'm glad he's
finally going straight.

Reverend Mother,here is $500,
compliments of Nacio.

He put $10 on Lovers Delight's
nose for the convent.

And it was 50-1 long shot.

Oh, Sister Jacqueline,
you were right.

That old nag was a shoo-in.

I beg your pardon?

It's all yours,
Reverend Mother.

Oh, no.
That was very nice of Nacio,

but I'm afraid that the convent
cannot take money

gained under
these circumstances.

Reverend Mother, that would pay
to fix the leaky roof.

We can put down buckets,
Sister Bertrille,

as we've done before.

We could buy the hot water
boiler we wanted.

Sister Jacqueline,
doctors have proved

that cold showers are good
for the circulation.

But we need new desks
for the school.

Sister Sixto,
sitting on benches

is good for a child's posture.

Se�orRamirez, you must give
this money to a worthy charity.

Reverend Mother, excuse me,

but I--I--I think
I know of a worthy charity.

You do?
Yes.

There's this convent
that needs a new roof,

and a new boiler and new desks
for the school kids.

Well, I--I never thought
of it quite that way.

Thank you, Se�orRamirez.

And thank you, Chief Galindo.

And thank you, Captain...

Se�orFomento,

for sending us Nacio.

Come along, Sisters.

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