All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s01e26 Where Theres a Will.eng

[barking]

[Jacqueline]
Great excitement at convent San Tanco.

C. Everett prynne,
the late sportsman and world traveler

had named our convent
sole heir to his estate.

Well, now, sisters,
Mr. Bragen is here this evening

to give us the details
of Mr. Prynne's legacy.

But, uh, first of all,
I would like to say a word of appreciation

to one of the members
of our order

who made Mr. Prynne
feel so kindly

toward the convent San Tanco.

Sister Bertrille.

Mr. Prynne was
always interested

in what was happening
at the convent

in what we were doing
and trying to do.

But I had no idea
he was gonna make us his heirs.

[Reverend Mother]
His generosity is...

Well, it's--it's like
an answer to our prayers.

Uh,

we have so many
pressing needs.

[Bertrille]
Like the electrical wiring.

[banging on wall]

Um, well, now,

we must not take up
any more of Mr. Bragen's time.

[clears throat]

[Bragen]
Uh, Reverend Mother, sisters,

the convent is heir
to the prynne estate.

However, Mr. Prynne
was a sportsman

in every sense of that word

and unfortunately,
left a great many, uh, ahem, gambling debts.

Now, those debts
in addition to

federal estate tax,
death tax, probate

and, uh, ahem, general
administrative expenses

have greatly reduced
the estate.

Oh.

I see.

In fact, the--the only thing
that's left is this.

The contract on
the Buffalo Buzzsaw.

What is a Buffalo Buzzsaw?

Uh, not "what,"
Reverend Mother, but "who."

Mike Sevre,
the Buffalo Buzzsaw.

Hi.

He's a prizefighter.

[Mike]
That's right, sister.

You'll see in those
attached clippings

that Mike has
every qualification

to be a--a leading contender
for the championship.

A prizefighter?

Uh, we cannot
own a prizefighter.

Oh, but, Reverend Mother,
you do.

[Jacqueline]
After the initial shock

of inheriting a pugilist
had worn off

it quickly became clear
there was only one solution.

We obviously couldn't have
a prizefighter at convent San Tanco.

It was out of the question.

Mike Sevre must go.

That was apparent to everyone

except the Buffalo Buzzsaw.

Go? Go where?

Home.

Oh, this is my home.

You just can't
stay here, Mr. Sevre.

Call me Mike.

Uh, what's your name?

[Bertrille]
Sister Bertrille.

But, Mr. Sevre...
Uh, Mike,

it's impossible for us
to own you.

Oh, well, everything is legal.
I'm yours.

But there's no place
for you to stay here.

Oh, well, hey,
I'm not hard to please.

Besides, I ain't got
no place else to go.

Oh, there are, uh,
lots of nice hotels.

See that?

53 cents.

Those are
my worldly goods.

Perhaps if you
telegraphed a friend--

well, there's nobody else,
except you ladies.

Uh, sisters.

[sighing]
I, uh...

Tsk.

Well, I guess
I could sleep outside.

I mean, it don't get cold
like it does in buffalo.

And out there in the jungle,
I--I suppose I could get by on wild fruit.

Berries, stuff like that.

Oh, there's
a wild banana grove about 10 miles from here.

Uh, north.

Thanks.

Reverend Mother,
the gardener's cottage is empty.

Sister Bertrille--

we do own him,
temporarily.

Mr. Sevre.

Welcome to San Tanco.

[chuckling]
Thank you.

[Jacqueline]
So, our prizefighter moved into the gardener's cottage

temporarily.

As he said,
he wasn't hard to please.

And he was charming.

Industrious.

Wonderful with the children.

And a great cook.

We were all skeptical
at first.

He insisted on preparing
a special meal and sharing it with us.

50 percent for us,
50 percent for him.

But after a few days
of entertaining

and being entertained
by the Buffalo Buzzsaw,

Reverend Mother
called a meeting of the board of directors.

Sister Bertrille,
h-how long is temporarily?

He's a very hard worker,
Reverend Mother.

All sorts of odd jobs.
No one has to ask him.

He's a real eager badger.

The children love him.

He's depending on us.
We can't just turn him out.

Oh, dear.

I had hoped that
the inheritance would mean

a few assets for the convent,

not an additional liability.

Mike is an asset.

An unemployed pugilist?

Suppose someone
could get him a job.

Someone?

Cookie?

You--you inherited
a prizefighter?

Ooh.

It might be
a great idea.

If anybody ever needed
a fulltime bodyguard, it's you.

Maybe now I don't have to
spend all my time

trying to get you
out of trouble.

[sighing]

What's his name?

Mike Sevre,
the Buffalo Buzzsaw.

Oh, the Buffalo Buzzsaw?

I never heard of him.
Let me see.

Maybe he's not even here
in this book.

Oh, it's got to be there.

He must be a good fighter.

Mr. Prynne never bought
anything but the best.

Serrano, seton, sevres.

What's it say?

Uh, "3 wins in 17 starts."

And he hasn't had a bout
in almost 2 years.

Well, I'd guess he's lucky
to end up as your bodyguard.

We can't afford to
keep him as a bodyguard.

He has a very
hearty appetite.

Why don't you sell him?

Sell him?

If you can find
somebody dumb enough who wants to buy him.

We can't sell him.
We couldn't sell anybody.

Well, give him
his freedom.

Like Abraham Lincoln.

I don't want my freedom.

[children chattering]
But you could get a manager who knows boxing.

But I like it here.

I like the kids,
and I like you

and Sister Jacqueline,
and Sister Sixto, and Reverend Mother.

And I promised sister Anna
I-I-I'd bake

a Dutch chocolate cake
for her birthday.

Are you a fighter
or aren't you?

Sure, I'm--I'm a fighter.

Then what are you doing
playing follow the leader

and baking
Dutch chocolate cakes?

A prizefighter's place
is in the ring.

[sighing]
You're right about that, sister.

Uh, but first, a fighter's
got to get in shape.

You'll have to
excuse me now, sister,

I promised the kids
I'd teach them how to play red rover.

[inaudible]

I am not assuming
any responsibility.

We're prepared to give you
25% of Mike's contract.

Sister Bertrille, in school
I got my best grades in arithmetic.

25% of nothing
is nothing.

33-and-a-third.

No.

Even 100% of nothing
is still nothing.

You are caught
in your Buffalo Buzzsaw

and you are not
dragging me in with you.

And that is my last word.

Ok. Thanks anyway.

Bye.

Hey! You're giving up?

I didn't really expect you
to help us out this time, Carlos.

But you never give up.

Mike's our responsibility.
I'll train him and set up his fights.

What do you know
about training a boxer?

Nothing, but I'll learn.

Oh, you'll learn?
Just like that, huh? Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

Well, boxing is a science.

Not something you learn
overnight. I know.

I used to be
a pretty classy amateur boxer myself.

Well, I'll just do
the best I can.

[sighing]
You think you can do anything, huh?

Well, let me tell you
this is a time

you better let somebody
with experience take over.

Maybe you're right.
Of course, I'm right.

Yeah. You've convinced me.

So let's go to the convent
and meet our new fighter.

25%.

33-and-a-third.

Wait till you see Mike.
You'll be really impressed.

Well, I hope so,
after all the money I spent on this equipment.

He's got a great physique.

And probably the only reason
he hasn't won more fights

is that he never had
a good manager and trainer.

Hi, where's Mike?

He's in the kitchen.

In the kitchen?

Yes, food's his thing.

Well, I'm gonna put him
on a very strict diet.

[crashing]

Mike?

[Mike]
Shh.

I got a cheese souffle
in the oven.

Well, I'm impressed.

[Jacqueline]
While Señor Ramirez occupied himself

with the more difficult job
of trying to set up a fight for Mike,

he deputized Sister Bertrille
to launch the training program.

[children chattering]
Ok, Mike, left, right.

Right, left. Left, right.

Keep that right
up there going!

Ok, it feels a little slow
in your punches.

Ok, Mike, take 1-2.

[girls chanting]
He sang and he sang and he sang so sweet.

Along came a pretty girl
and kissed him on the cheek.

How many kisses
did she give him?

1, 2, 3, 4.

[children giggling]
Son of a gun.

[Bertrille]
Circle, dodge. Dodge, circle. Round.

That's wonderful. Uh-huh.
Up, yeah.

Where are you going?

I've got to check
my bouillabaisse.

[Bertrille yelling]

Come on, Mike,
you're dogging it.

I'm doing my best.

Come on, get those legs
up higher. Higher!

It's impossible.

Nothing is impossible.
Nothing!

You, uh...

You--
right.

Which goes to show
that nothing's impossible

if you really try.
Right?

So I want you to really try
and get those legs up higher. Ok?

Ok, sister.
Ok.

[Jacqueline]
Sister Bertrille's training program paid off.

[exclaiming]

Well, doesn't he
look great?

[Carlos]
Oh, yeah. He's shaping up.

Yes, well, I think
he's gone as far as he can

with shadowboxing
and punching bag.

What he needs now is
a sparring partner.

Sparring partner?

Look, sister, I'm not
spending any more money

to hire a sparring partner.

You can't train a fighter
without a sparring partner,

everyone knows that.

Especially you
of all people,

a man who was a pretty
classy boxer himself.

Why you look at me
like that?

Carlos, you don't need
to hire a sparring partner.

You can go a few rounds
with him yourself.

Me? Spar with Mike?

Sometimes I think
you have a death wish for me.

Well, you did say
you were a classy boxer.

I talk too much.

Well, Mike certainly
moves well.

He moves, but always
in the wrong direction, away.

Yeah, it looks more like
a waltzing contest than a boxing match.

Move in there, Mike!
Lay a little leather on him!

Don't hold back.
I can look out for myself.

[Mike]
You're, uh, you're too fast for me.

Come on, try to hit me.
Even when I open up, you don't hit me.

Yeah.
I'm saving myself.

For Christmas?

Come on hit me!

[Mike]
Do I have to? Yes.

That's an order
from your manager.

Hit me!

[Bertrille]
Oh, that was wonderful!

Carlos,
are you all right?

Oh, Mike, that was
so wonderful. Oh.

Carlos, I'm so sorry.

Man, what a punch.
Boy, 1-2.

Carlos, wasn't that great?

[panting]
Just great. I didn't feel a thing.

Just one suggestion.

Yes, Señor Ramirez?

When you are in the ring,

don't wait
until the other guy begs you to hit him.

Huh?

You got us a fight?

One of the guys
who was scheduled

for the semi-finals
Friday night, canceled out.

They needed
a quick replacement,

so I talked them
into trying Mike.

The contracts
are already signed

and the weigh-in will be
tomorrow morning.

Oh, who does he fight?
El Carnicero.

Is he any good?

Uh, he's good,
but not too good.

I think Mike
can handle him.

I also let the word leak out

that we have
a sensational new boy

who's going to
surprise everybody.

We can expect at least
a couple of top promoters from Miami.

With a little luck,
we might be able to unload Mike's contract.

Oh, Carlos, I don't know
how I can thank you for everything.

Oh, it's nothing.

You just have Mike here
tomorrow morning at 10:30.

I'm going to take him
to the weigh-in.

Oh, yeah, Ok.
He'll be here.

By the way, I--I forgot,
what does El Carnicero mean?

Oh, the butcher.

[inaudible]

Does Michael know
who he is going to fight?

A man by the name
of El Carnicero.

El Carnicero?
But that means...

[Bertrille]
What's in a name, Reverend Mother?

Carlos says
he isn't too good.

Have you told Michael?

No. I haven't seen him yet.
I'll tell him at lunch.

Carlos says there ought to be
a couple of top promoters at the fight

and we'll be able to
sell his contract to one of them.

That's lovely.

You know, I must admit,
Sister Bertrille,

that I was
quite skeptical at first.

Oh, it'll turn out great
for everyone, Reverend Mother.

Mike'll have a good manager
and a good home

and we should end up
with enough money

to take care
of the electrical wiring

and maybe replace
some of the plumbing.

Marvelous.

Excuse me, Reverend Mother,
but he's gone.

We look low and high.
Yes.

Well, maybe he just
went into San Juan.

His suitcase is gone.

Maybe he took some powders.

Took a powder.

Uh, had you told him
about the fight, Sister Bertrille?

[Bertrille]
Uh, no, I expected to tell him today at lunch.

Oh, this is terrible.
He's supposed to weigh-in tomorrow.

Señor Ramirez has gone
to so much trouble to set up everything

and men coming in
from Miami.

What are we gonna do?

Well, we'll have to
find Mike.

But we have no idea
where he might have gone.

We have till 10:30
tomorrow morning.

Excuse me.

[Jacqueline]
While Sister Sixto and I

used the conventional methods
of search,

Sister Bertrille turned to
aerial reconnaissance.

Sister Bertrille knew
that Mike had no friends

in Puerto Rico except us.

He had no money,
and he hadn't eaten since breakfast.

Remembering the size
of Mike's appetite,

she finally got a fix
on where she might find him.

Uh, Mike, why did you
run out on us?

Now, look, sister...

Gee, Mike, we took you in
and we worked with you, we believed in you

and when you finally
had a chance to prove we were right,

you disappear.

Mike, we have
a fight for you.

I heard you telling
the Reverend Mother.

You knew and you
still walked out?

That's why I walked out.

You know, I thought
you people were different.

I mean, I felt like
we were good friends, almost like family.

But you was
just building me up

so as you could peddle me
for a few bucks.

Unload me.

No, Mike.
That's not true at all.

What did I expect?

Anytime anybody
ever treated me nice...

I found out
sooner or later

it was just so as they could
get a better price for me.

You know, I-I've been sold
and traded so many times

I can't even remember
how many managers I had.

One time, they even traded me
as down payment on a horse.

A down payment.

Honestly, Mike,
I only wanted to help you.

We all did.

The only reason
we set up this fight

was to try and interest
the right manager.

Somebody to take care of you,
build you up.

Maybe even give you a chance
at that big title some day,

like in the clipping,
you know?

If we got enough money
to take care

of that old
electrical wiring system, fine.

But our main concern was
just to do

what we thought
would be best for you.

Yeah. That wiring
is dangerous.

I-It ought to be fixed.

But, sister, fighting
isn't what's best for me.

I never wanted to fight.

You don't want to fight?

I hate it. I'm scared.

Oh, not of getting hurt
myself, but--but of hurting the other guy.

Well, that's why
you didn't want to hit Carlos.

I feel rotten
when I hit anybody.

No wonder you only won
3 out of 17 fights.

Well, if you don't hit back,
what do you do?

I just stand there
and I take it.

Sometimes it gets pretty bad,
like when Rinty Rose did this to my nose.

And Vic Delaney
did that to my eye

but it's still a lot better
than hitting them.

Couldn't you give them
that old 1-2 punch?

I mean, Carlos said
he didn't feel anything

and it seems like
a more merciful way out, just 1-2.

Sister, please. Let's not
talk about it, huh?

Mike, if you
feel that way about it

why didn't you quit fighting
a long time ago?

Get some other kind
of a job?

[sighing]
Like what?

I never even finished
high school.

I'm big and I'm dumb,
so I end up in a ring.

And even there I'm no good.

I'm sorry about the wiring.

Oh, don't worry about it.

The convent San Tanco's
been around for about 200 years.

It'll survive
for another 2 or 3.

Yeah, but
the Reverend Mother's gonna be disappointed,

and Señor Ramirez.

Don't worry.
Things will work out. Ok?

Ok.

[Jacqueline]
It was almost noon the next day

before Sister Bertrille
was able to get through to Señor Ramirez.

Carlos, he can't fight.

Of course,
he's going to fight.

He doesn't want to.
He hates it. He explained it all to me.

You'll just have to
cancel him out or something.

He weighed in 30 minutes ago
and he looks great.

Mike weighed in?
Yes.

I wondered where he went
so early this morning.

But we can't let him
go through with it.

He wants to.

Where is he now?

I promised
not to tell you.

Carlos, he won't hit back.

He'll just stand there
and let El Carnicero

beat him to a pulp,
and what for?

Well, he wants to do it
for you and the other sisters.

Oh.

You want me to
get tickets for you?

No.

Well, you can watch
on the television set I gave to the convent.

Poor Mike.

[male announcer on TV]
Certainly, there's been action for this crowd

with one knockout so far
in the 3 bouts we've seen.

But now, we're ready
for the semi-windup of the evening

and this brings
on El Carnicero...

Aren't you even
going to watch?

I can't bear it.

Mmm. There's Mike.

I'm praying for him.

Oh, no.

Of all the times.

[Reverend Mother]
Oh, dear.

[Jacqueline]
I'll fix it. I'll fix it.

There! Oh.

Oh.

[Sixto]
Come on. Come on.

[crowd cheering]
Did you see that?

No, we didn't.
No, we didn't. What happened?

1-2. Just 1-2
and El Carnicero was down for the count.

[all exclaiming]

Mike won!

This has to be
the shortest fight on record

and I actually believe that
when Mike Sevre, the Buffalo Buzzsaw

delivered that 1-2 punch,
I actually thought he had his eyes closed.

[all cheering]

Yeah. I never
could have done it

except for thinking about
all of you back here.

I talked to El Carnicero
afterwards, sister.

He said
he never felt a thing.

Oh, here's your share
of the purse, Reverend Mother.

[Reverend Mother]
Thank you, Señor.

Also, we have 3 firm offers
for Mike's contract.

We can play them off
against each other.

I, uh, I want you to have
my share of the purse, too.

Uh, use it
to fix the wiring.

[Reverend Mother]
Thank you, Michael.

Oh, Mike, that's
so nice of you.

Isn't that
nice of him, Carlos?

Very nice.
Oh, here's my share, too.

[chuckling]
Well, thank you, Señor.

Thank you.

Then maybe the next time
Mike fights our TV set won't go...

Oh, I promised
these 3 parties.

How much you're asking
for Mike's contract?

Uh, Señor Ramirez,
we have decided

not to sell
Michael's contract.

But the whole purpose
of the fight was--

we're giving Mike
his contract.

He can negotiate
for himself.

Thank you.

All of you.

Ok, what's your price?

I want to work for you.

For me? Huh.
But I'm not interested in handling a fighter.

Oh, he doesn't want to be
a fighter. He's retiring from the ring.

Yeah. I want to be a chef
in your restaurant.

A chef?

He's the greatest.

Souffles, bouillabaisse,
the crepes suzettes.

My father was French.

And he whips up a great
Irish stew. At least, give him a chance.

Well, I don't know.

Carlos, you can trade in
the punching bag and the gloves

for a chef's outfit
and some souffle dishes.

Carlos, have I ever
asked you to do anything

you ever had any reason
to regret?

Let's go, or she'll
talk you out of the job, even before I hire you.

Bye. Thanks.

Bye.

[end credits]

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