All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s01e24 Cyrano de Bertrille.eng

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Original subtitles

[Jacqueline] There are some needs in our community

which are devastatingly obvious.

But there are others so completely hidden,

that no one could know they exist.

There you are, Sister. That amounts to, three--

$3.52.

Un momento. You're taking money

from a religious Sister? Shame on you, Juan.

Forgive me, Sister. Excuse me, Sister.

Pedro, the church feeds our souls, not our stomachs.

Do you know, Sister?

He's missed mass for three consecutive weeks.

I had a cold.

Really, I think I ought to give him--

No, no, Sister. Fool.

If you had a business head...

Can you count to 20 without removing your shoes?

If not for me, I don't give you two minutes to go bankrupt.

Uh, I apologize, Sister. I am a pillar of the church.

Ask anyone. Idiot.

He never goes to church.

Sister, may I speak to you? I think that I--

Oh, no, no, Sister. I need a favor.

Oh, it's postmarked Miami.

That's where I spend my vacation.

Ethel Tarnow?

Oh, Sister, what a lady.

Would you read it?

I'm afraid my eyes see well,

but they understand nothing.

You mean to tell me you can't read?

Please don't laugh at me, Sister.

In my whole life, I never learned to read or write.

So please, Sister. Well...

"Dear Pedro, I think you're the warmest

"and the kindest person I've ever met.

I love your blue eyes and the cute dimple in your chin."

Pedro, we have customers.

Forgive me, Sister, but it is a business.

Please go on, Sister. Ok, let me see where I was.

Uh, "Please write me soon.

"Your dear friend, Ethel Tarnow."

Write?

Me? Write?

Oh, Sister, that's impossible.

Sister...

Now, Pedro, don't look at me like that.

But just a few lines, Sister. Well, it's dishonest.

But I'd tell you what to put down,

what's in my heart. Yes, but sooner or later,

she'd have to find out the truth.

I've got a better idea.

Look for an ignorant woman, you mean?

No. Learn. Learn?

Any child could do it.

I ought to know. I teach school.

Good morning, class. Today we're going to...

He simply must go. Oh, Reverend Mother,

he has his heart set on staying.

It won't be easy to explain your decision to him.

It'll be easier than explaining Pedro to Bishop Pool,

when he visits next month. Oh, yes.

If only his ideas were a little less stodgy.

Why, think of all the other Pedros

there must be in this town.

We could start a whole adult school.

Sister Bertrille, do you think that idea hasn't occurred to us?

We have requested permission of the Bishop dozens of times.

Why hasn't he seen the need? Because he...

He's... Stodgy.

In the Bishop's view,

there are other more important considerations.

Yes, but that was before Pedro.

Don't you see, Reverend Mother?

If we can demonstrate the needs of one man,

who's so desperate for an education

that he has to study with children,

Reverend Mother, we can help him and he can help us.

Very well, Sister Bertrille.

But it will not be easy.

You will have to show not only Pedro's desire to learn.

You will have to show results.

Don't worry, Reverend Mother.

I promise you. Within one month,

Pedro Alvarez will be reading and writing.

Well, you'll be amazed.

Now, I'll ask you a question.

If you think the answer is yes, write it.

If you think the answer is no, then write that.

Do you understand? Yes.

[the question is] Puerto Rico is located

in the Pacific Ocean. Yes or no?

Of course, the answer is "No."

Well, then write it on the board.

[quietly] How do you spell "No"?

N-O. N-O?

How do you spell "N"?

No, you don't spell "N," You make an "N."

Here. I'll show you.

N-O.

Now can you remember? Certainly.

Ok, you do it.

Of course. Simple.

[Juan] Uh, Pedro, Pedro...

Excuse me, Sister.

This is madness, I tell you.

We have a business full of customers,

and they all ask for you.

I--I must bring him back. I hope you understand.

Will it help you

to get a head full of useless knowledge

while the business suffers?

Come, I'll drive you to the store.

What do you say?

[audience laughing]

[Bertrille] A "P" Is closed and an "F" Is open.

This is an "F."

"P" Is closed and an "F" Is open.

Right. Now, I want you to make a word

using these two letters.

What's that?

"Flip."

"Tom was very 'row-oog'

"with his sister."

Very what? R-o-u-g-h.

Uh, "rough."

Row-oog is "rough?" [Bertrille] Yes.

You see, sometimes in English,

o-u-g-h is pronounced "uff,"

As in "rough."

Hmm.

"Tom was very rough

to his sister.

She ran 'thruff' the house."

She ran where?

T-h-r-o-u-g-h. "Thruff."

Oh, well, sometimes in English

o-u-g-h is also pronounced "oo,"

as in "through the house."

"She ran through the house.

Where was she? Tom looked.

"He heard a little...

"Coo"? "Cuff"?

Would you believe "Cough"?

You know what I believe, Sister?

I believe that these words

are the invention of lunatics.

Now look at this.

Can you tell me what it is? [girl] An apple?

An apple. An apple.

Not a pear or a prune or a banana.

And this, for all eternity, is a banana.

All my life I know a thing,

because when I look at it, it tells me what it is.

Now that you tell me how to spell it,

it's never the same thing twice.

What's wrong, Sister? Pedro--

Sister, I've had enough of this lunacy.

I'm going back to the things I know.

I don't need to spell this to know it is delicious.

Pedro Alvarez,

you are disrupting the class.

I am sorry, Reverend Mother.

Have a banana. Thank you.

Sister Bertrille.

I'm sorry, Reverend Mother, I think I can handle this.

Pedro, I know what you mean.

Sometimes words drive me crazy.

Take the word "I" for instance.

If I spell it with a capital letter "I,"

it stands for myself.

If I spell it a-y-e, it means "Yes."

What do you suppose e-y-e spells?

Blink?

"Eye." See? Anybody could be confused.

What's week? Uh, not strong?

Seven days. What's beat?

Stir. Try vegetable.

How're we supposed to know?

There's only one way to tell.

♪ Flour is a powder ♪

♪ Used in baking bread ♪

♪ Not to be confused With the flower ♪

♪ That you find In a flower bed ♪

♪ Not to be confused With bed ♪

♪ You cover with a spread ♪

♪ Which is not To be confused ♪

♪ With a spread like jam ♪

♪ But the jam you're in If you misspell lamb ♪

♪ On a spelling exam ♪

[children and bertrille] ♪ 'Cause you've never ♪

♪ Learned to read and write ♪

[Bertrille] ♪ Weather is what tells you ♪

♪ When it's cold or hot ♪

♪ Not to be confused ♪

♪ With whether whatsoever ♪

♪ As in whether or not ♪

♪ Not to be confused With knot ♪

♪ The distance on the sea ♪

♪ Which is not to be confused With the letter "C" ♪

♪ The very first letter In catastrophe ♪

♪ Which is what you'll be ♪

[everyone] ♪ If you never learn To read and write ♪

[Bertrille] ♪ A plain can be An open field ♪

♪ Beneath the deep blue sky ♪

♪ Or a supersonic jet ♪

♪ That takes us Way up high ♪

♪ Now just suppose I said to you ♪

♪ Meet me on the plane ♪

♪ If you can't spell ♪

♪ I'd like to warn ya ♪

♪ You may wind up ♪

♪ In California ♪

♪ If it sounds confusing ♪

♪ Things will take a turn ♪

♪ So just relax And absorb the facts ♪

♪ It's never too late To learn ♪

♪ Though you're five or 50 ♪

♪ I'm sure That you'll do well ♪

♪ Which is not to be confused With the hole in the ground ♪

♪ But the "Well" meaning swell That you only can tell ♪

♪ When you learn How to spell ♪

♪ Yes, you've got to Learn to read ♪

♪ You've got To learn to read ♪

♪ You've got to learn ♪

♪ To read ♪

♪ And write ♪

Not to be confused with the opposite of wrong.

I hope I'm not disturbing, Sister.

Oh, no. I was just reading.

About Tom and his sister?

[laughing] No.

A group of sonnets by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

Sister...

I am leaving school. Why?

After one month of very hard work,

it's no better. Look.

Another one from Mrs. Tarnow.

I recognize the writing, but not one word.

I don't need an education

to learn how stupid I am.

Don't you want to know what she says?

It's a shame.

What are you going to do when she arrives?

She's coming here?

In a month.

Good. Good.

I've been wasting my time with children.

I'm a man, she's a woman.

I'll tell her what's in my heart.

You cannot learn that from books.

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

"I love thee to the depth and breadth

"and height my soul can reach."

That's in a book?

Well, it's different

from how Tom behaves with his sister.

That's beautiful.

It would be nice to be able to...

Read it to her? Yes.

That takes time and practice.

I know you're not sure if a "P" Is an "F"

or an "F" Is a "P,"

but don't give up yet, Pedro.

Sister, may I borrow your little book?

Yes.

Thank you.

I'll see you in class, Sister.

[children chattering]

How about an Orlando Cepeda?

I already have two Orlando Cepedas.

Oh, ok.

Carmelita, I heard you in class.

You read pretty good.

Did you ever hear of Elizabeth Barrett Browning?

What team?

Ok, class...

[children] Good morning, Bishop Pool.

Good morning, children.

Where is, uh, Pedro Alvarez?

[Bertrille] Oh, well,

I guess he's ill this morning, Bishop Pool.

Well, the important thing is the children are all present.

This illustrates my chief objection

to your adult school idea.

Grownups are simply unreliable.

Besides, they have too many responsibilities.

Excuse me.

I apologize to everybody.

Bishop Pool, I am Pedro Alvarez.

I understand you're learning to read.

Right.

I'm going to read something for you now, Bishop.

"How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways."

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, my favorite.

"I love thee with a passion put to use

In my old griefs,

And with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love

I seemed to lose with my lost saints,

I love thee with the breath, smiles

Tears of all my life.

And, if God choose,

"I shall but love thee better after death."

Sonnets from the Portuguese.

[Bishop] I'm very impressed, Mr. Alvarez.

A remarkable job of teaching.

[Bishop] Please, Mr. Alvarez,

favor us with another. Another what?

Well, another sonnet, of course.

Come, come, man. Now, really, Bishop.

I ain't got time

to memorize the whole book.

Memorize?

[Bishop] Memorize.

I am profoundly shocked

that you would attempt to win my sympathy

for your adult school idea with this--

One moment. I did write something.

Carmelita, sit down.

I worked very hard at the store

in my spare time and during business hours, too.

And, uh, Juan almost killed me.

[Pedro] Bishop, I hope you'll forgive me.

I ran out of cloth and, uh, I used the abbreviation.

[audience laughing]

It doesn't matter how I feel.

You see, the Bishop feels that Pedro

is a disruptive influence

and he has no business in a child's school.

That's why we want to put him in an adult school.

Unfortunately, Bishop Pool envisions

the more illiterate members of his flock

learning to spell his name... that way.

As we all know,

a little learning can be a dangerous thing.

Well, what about Pedro?

Does he want me to unlearn Pedro?

Our semester will be over in a month.

And if Pedro improves,

there is a slight chance that the Bishop might return.

If only to hear Pedro clear his good name.

Oh, he'll improve, I guarantee he'll improve.

Could he get any worse?

"Tom...

has...

the...

"baal." Ball.

[Juan] Pedro, psst, psst, psst. Pedro.

Uh, hello, Sister.

Nice to see you again.

Juan, is this necessary?

Oh, sure. Pedro can tell from the outside

how a watermelon will look on the inside.

Let me see.

I really think-- Momentito, por favor.

[Pedro] Turn it around.

That watermelon is older than I am.

Well, come to the store and tell Hernandez yourself

in the middle of "Tom has the ball"?

You're insane? Pedro--

That's it. I've had enough of this.

Please take your seat. Certainly, Sister.

[mumbling]

I'm sorry to keep you after class like this,

but I wanted to talk to you alone.

You see, you've been reading for a week now,

without any improvement.

Don't you practice at home?

Well, the only place to practice

is at the store, and Juan is always there,

and I wouldn't give him the satisfaction, Sister.

But it's very important to be ready

for the Bishop this time.

And...

[Pedro] Mr... Uh, Mrs.

Sister, what does it mean?

Mrs. Tarnow arrives in two weeks.

We've got to cram.

[inaudible]

Again, Pedro.

Oh, Sister. I'm so tired, Sister.

And me, I'm ready to dance?

I'd give anything right now to have 40 blinks.

Come on, Pedro. Read again.

"Tom has the ball. See Tom.

"See the ball. Run, Tom."

I don't see the point in this, Sister.

My girlfriend's name is Ethel.

E-excuse me, Sister.

I would like a favor.

Well, what is it, Fernando?

Excuse me for a moment.

The ball's up on the roof, to the left.

[Fernando] Throw it to me, Sister.

All right, Pedro,

if you'll continue with your reading.

Sister, the pressure, it's making me sick.

I am seeing-- Seeing what?

I don't want to say it, Sister.

Like a bird, you flew like a bird.

You saw me fly? Yes, twice.

Once up and then down.

Come to think of it, it's logical that if you go up--

Pedro, I think maybe the pressure is getting to you.

You'd better have a recess. A recess.

The hopscotch team is waiting. Yes. Thank you.

It's my turn.

Ok, Pedro, let's get croaking.

Open your book.

No. No?

No.

Today, I will read something else.

Now, you read me many times before letters from Miami.

Well, today, I, Pedro Alvarez,

is going to read you a letter.

I'm so nervous.

"Dear Pedro.

Once again, I feel I must write to you

"and tell you what a wonderful person you are.

You have always been so understanding

"and so warm, I feel I can pour out my heart to you."

Oh, she's going to pour out her heart to me here.

"A few days ago, I met another wonderful man

"and I have decided to marry him."

Maybe there's a mistake.

Well, maybe there is a mistake.

Thank you. Thank you, very much.

That will be all, Fernando.

I suppose Pedro's in his store right now

letting Juan tell him where to go.

And all our beautiful plans for the adult school,

poof, gone for a smoke.

Oh, don't be too disturbed, Sister.

We'll convince the Bishop another time.

You did your best.

Oh, I'm not worried about the school.

I'm worried about Pedro.

Excuse me.

Were you aware of Fernando's picture of you, Sister?

[Bertrille] Uh, well...

Perhaps that's how he sees me, Bishop.

If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back.

This is the story of my vacation.

Thank you. I shall enjoy it tremendously.

I hope so. I didn't.

Think of all you've gained.

A few months ago, you couldn't even spell "No,"

And now, you can read and write a thousand times "No."

Sure, I read.

I read unhappiness, that's what I read.

If you won't think of yourself, think of the others.

Think of the adult school.

Can't you help them?

They're miserable enough without my help.

Now, look... Where's Juan?

I need somebody to sign this.

Pedro, come back to the school

and show Bishop how much you've learned.

It's our only chance.

You tell the Bishop, Sister,

that I am sorry I embarrassed him.

I can't leave until somebody signs the invoice.

Juan?

I'll sign it. Give it to me.

You? Yes.

You couldn't have done that a few months ago, either.

[truck door opening]

[truck door closing]

[engine starting]

I am deeply honored

by your presentations, children.

And until next semester,

thank you and God bless you.

[in Spanish] One minute, please.

[mumbling]

Sit there.

[Pedro] Once again I want to apologize to everybody,

especially Bishop Pool.

And I have nothing to present,

but I would like to say something.

I must confess,

I was not about to come here today.

For a while, I forgot about this new world,

this wonderful world.

And I suddenly realized

that I cannot become that world's oldest dropout.

Imagine, in a restaurant

I order a complete full meal from the menu.

And it's a terrible meal, but it looks good to read.

I'm not afraid of opening a book.

Books are my friends now.

Beautiful books like Dickens,

and Shakespeare and Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

But the most wonderful books of all

are the ones in my store.

Because now I can read them.

And I can see how my best friend,

and partner, Juan Cortez...

has been robbing me blind for the last 15 years.

Thank you, Sister.

[audience laughing]

Just goes to prove,

no matter what they say,

a little knowledge can be a marvelous thing.

[end theme playing]

[end credits]

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