Original subtitles

[barking]

[Jacqueline] The library of our convent San Tanco

is noted for its many books,

most of them cast-offs from generous friends.

Unfortunately,

we sisters have neither the aptitude

nor the time for library housekeeping.

Which accounts for the condition it had fallen into.

The book has to be here, Sister Jacqueline.

Well, I'm sure it is.

Oh, yes. I should have paid more attention to what was happening in here.

Oh, here it is.

"Church encyclicals for the past 100 years"

hidden behind a copy of "great lovers of the silver screen."

Sister Sixto, uh, did you find the book that you were looking for?

I look on the shelf under "b" for black beauty.

But, there's only one book there.

What is it?

Tom swift and his flying machine.

[giggling]

Well, that's our library.

Sisters, I cannot permit this situation to go on.

A person who is trained

and--and professional must be brought in to put this library in order.

Of course, Reverend Mother.

In fact, I think that I'll call the bishop right away

and, uh, and then I'll assign one of our sisters

to assist whomever they may send.

Come along, sisters.

[both sighing]

Yes, your excellency, I quite understand.

But are you certain he is the only professional librarian available?

I see.

Uh, no, no. We can delay no longer.

Very well, uh,

we will expect him to report immediately.

Uh, thank you, your excellency. Good day.

Well, the, uh, bishop is sending someone to help us with our library.

Good. Whom is he sending?

Brother Paul Bernardi.

Brother Paul Bernardi?

The bishop assures me he is the only person available.

But Reverend Mother, surely you know Brother Paul's reputation?

He's a one-man disastrous area.

Disaster area, sister.

The day after he started to work in the library

of the seminary at San domingo, it burned down.

Because Brother Paul helped with the outdoor barbecue, and he outdid the charcoal.

[Ana] And remember what happened to the cathedral at San Pablo?

The one with the famous stained glass window?

Brother Paul was asked to cut down a large tree nearby--

and smash went every stained glass in that window.

Oh, sisters, now I think we're being unfair to Brother Paul

just because he's had some hard luck.

Hard luck? Are you forgetting the monastery at jalapa?

The one with the collapsed chimney?

Brother Paul?

Brother Paul.

That chimney stood for 100 years

until he decided to fix the flue.

Whither he goest, calamity follows.

Oh, I don't think he's as bad as his reputation.

And as far as I'm concerned,

I say we all pitch in and give him a helping hand, huh?

Not all, Sister Bertrille.

You.

I have decided

that you will be Brother Paul's assistant.

Oh, Reverend Mother, I don't know anything about fixing up libraries--

Brother Paul will teach you. Oh?

All right, sisters. You may go on about your duties.

That will be all, Sister Bertrille.

[door closes]

Reverend Mother, I have never questioned any of your decisions

in regard to this convent.

But, uh, a-a-are you aware of what this could mean?

Having Sister Bertrille and--and Brother Paul working together?

Yes, Sister Jacqueline, I am.

It could mean

that for the first time we might see 2 wrongs make a right.

[birds chirping]

[children exclaiming]

Hi. Hi.

Uh, excuse me, uh.

Of course. Hmm.

What are we, uh, what are we looking at?

Oh, we're not looking at anything. We're waiting for Brother Paul Bernardi.

Oh, is that what we're doing?

Hmm.

I hope nothing's happened to him.

We've heard he's prone to accidents.

Yes, I suppose I am.

You're Brother Paul Bernardi?

I thought you'd be coming in a taxi.

Well, I started to, but, uh... It broke down?

No. No. It's such a nice day, I decided to walk.

Oh, well, I'm glad everything's all right.

This is Sister Sixto and I'm Sister Bertrille.

I've been assigned to help you fix up the library.

Oh, how very nice. I'm pleased to meet you both.

Same to you, brother.

[boy] Root for me, sister.

Uh, excuse me.

[children exclaiming]

Well, uh, welcome to the convent San Tanco, Brother Paul.

I'll show you to your room.

Oh, thank you. I'll, uh, just drop my suitcase off,

and then pay my respects to Reverend Mother Placido.

After that, if you'd take me to the library,

I'm anxious to get to work, you know?

Right. All right.

Sister Bertrille, will you give it a shoe?

She means give it a boot. Oh, well, let me.

Oh, that's Ok. I think I'd better do it.

Oh, sister, if you don't mind.

Shall we go, sister?

Gladly.

Well, this is it.

Ah, this is a challenge.

To put it mildly.

Now, um, first thing to do is, uh,

we'll dismantle these shelves and take them out to air,

and then we'll remove these cartons so the floor can be scrubbed.

Uh, paint the walls...

You are planning to catalogue the books, aren't you?

Oh, well, that is the last step.

As my professor of library science used to say,

"a clean library is a happy library."

I'll buy that.

Well, shall we get started?

[sighing]

You can't realize how much I'm gonna enjoy this, sister.

Most places I go are so, um, neat.

But your library is so...

So magnificently disorganized.

[clattering]

You know, Sister Bertrille,

I have a feeling

this is gonna be a very fruitful experience to me.

And learning how to take care of a library won't hurt you either.

Are you sure about that, Brother Paul?

Now the first thing we learned in library one was the care of shelves.

All through college our slogan was, "fight mildew."

I never cared much for mildew myself.

[gasping] All right.

I'm glad that's the last of the shelves. Phew!

[panting] I'm getting tired.

Yeah.

[panting] I never dreamed librarians had to work so hard.

I thought all they ever did was check out books and hush people.

No, there's more to it than that.

You know,

these shelves are really beautiful.

Well, if you're a shelf lover, I suppose you have something there.

No, no, no, I'm serious, sister.

This--this is, uh, very fine old wood.

Yeah?

Now, if you want to see something really lovely,

just, uh, just take a look at the grain here.

That's grain? I always thought that was dust.

No, no, no, no. See the, uh, see the markings follow a definite pattern,

it's, uh, almost like rhythm. Yeah.

You can't buy shelves like that these days.

Well, Brother Paul, things seem to be progressing nicely.

Oh, I, uh, would hope so, Reverend Mother.

As you know, this conference of mother superiors lasts only 2 days,

but I'm expecting big changes in the library by the time I get back.

The library will be in tip-top shape.

I think I can guarantee that.

Good.

Oh, uh, h-here, let me help you, Reverend Mother.

Thank you, Brother Paul.

Well, I must be going.

The sun seems very bright today.

Are you sure it's all right to leave those shelves out?

It's the only way to fight mildew, huh?

If you say so, Sister Bertrille.

And don't worry about a thing, Reverend Mother.

Everything will be a-Ok.

Thank you.

Bye. Bye-bye.

[Jacqueline] Brother Paul, you need any help?

Whoo! Yes, you do.

No, I...

I think you do. Here, let me take these.

Well, those go there.

Ow!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, is this in our library?

Along with a lot of other choice items.

Now, let's see, uh... Mmm?

Those are the ones, uh, we're gonna dispose of.

All right. And these are the ones worth cataloguing.

Oh, very good. Mmm-hmm.

[Bertrille] Hi. Oh, hi.

Kind of psychedelic, huh?

Well, I hate to be critical, sister,

but aesthetically, you're a nightmare.

I can't wait to see what it's gonna look like on the walls.

That's the color I mixed. Book worm blue. It's my own formula.

Well, I think that's just the color these walls call for.

Now here's a volume I'll bet you didn't know you had.

"Illuminated manuscripts of the 13th century."

What's a book like that doing in our library?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

This happens to be one of my old school textbooks.

You know, I've always been interested in the study of old parchments.

Hmm, sounds like an absorbing study.

You have no idea.

You know, when I finished my studies, I hoped...

[sighs]

Oh, it was more of a dream, really,

I'd spend the rest of my life in the Vatican library

in research of old manuscripts.

Hmm.

But things haven't worked out that way somehow.

Yeah, but I bet a lot of interesting things have happened to you.

Oh, yes. I--I get to travel a great deal.

You have no idea how many times I've been transferred.

I can imagine, Brother Paul.

Hey, here's something.

"Ecclesiastical encyclopedia, 20 volumes, 1897."

Oh, something else we can keep, huh?

On the contrary, sister, a set as old as that is a menace to education.

No, out it goes. All right.

[sighs]

Brother Paul, would you hand me a hammer?

I've got to get this thing out of the wall.

Here you are. Thanks.

Oh, sister, let me. Oh, I can do it.

No, no. That's too big for you to handle.

Oh, don't, bother-- no, no, Sister Bertrille, I must insist.

Ok.

See, it's really not too difficult once you know how.

[clearing throat]

Now, I've done it.

You certainly have.

And just when I thought things were going so well.

It's quite a large hole, isn't it?

I think it's the largest hole that wall ever had.

Looks like there's something inside the wall.

Oh, yeah, stucco and rocks and boards.

No, no, I don't mean that. What?

It's an old parchment like we've been talking about. And there's more.

Hey, how did these get in here?

I haven't the vaguest idea.

Oh, my gosh.

I'll admit I'm not much of an authority on old parchments,

but I do know something about them. Yeah?

These could be priceless. Well, how do we find out?

I don't know. Let me take a look at them a little closer.

Ok.

My magnifying glass. What--what did I do with my magnifying glass?

I don't know. I put it in my pocket.

Maybe I didn't. Now, what could I have--

Sister Bertrille, Sister Bertrille, Brother Paul, come quickly.

What's happened? Something's happened to the bookshelves.

The bookshelves? Oh, no. Well, tell us what happened?

Come, you'll see.

[sighing]

I found it.

Marvelous. And you've got a nice hot sun to fight mildew.

How could such a thing happen?

[sighing]

As if I didn't know.

Brother Paul? Brother Paul, please come out.

[Paul] Go away, Sister Bertrille.

I won't go away. I want to talk to you,

and I will if I have to stand here and pound on your door all day.

What do you want, sister?

Look, Brother Paul, there's no reason to act like this

just because your magnifying glass burned up the bookshelves.

Look, let's face facts. I'm a walking catastrophe.

That's no reason to act like this.

After all, we can buy new bookshelves.

With what?

Has the convent got any money?

Not at the moment.

As a matter of fact, not at any moment.

See? Why don't you please go away

and let me brood over the utter hopelessness of my situation?

You know something? I studied about you in psychology 2.

Uh, not you in particular, but people like you.

My professor told me

that people like you expect terrible things to happen to them,

so naturally, they do happen. But you see,

you have to know--

Brother Paul blames himself for everything.

In fact, in the mood he's in, he'd blame himself for starting world war ii.

You say he's locked himself in his room?

Yeah, for practically the whole day.

I tell you, I feel so sorry for him.

So do I.

There must be some way for us to get new bookshelves.

I know.

Why don't we call the traitor?

What do we need with a spy...

Oh!

You mean a trader.

That's it.

Swapping Salvador, the traitor.

Say, maybe she's got something there.

Well, you know swapping Salvador

trades anything for anything to anybody,

anytime and no cash involved.

Well, that's a good thought, sister.

But what have we got to trade?

Hmm? Don't worry. We can dig up something.

Have you got any bright ideas?

No.

Neither have I.

But I'll come up with something.

I wonder what she's going to come up with.

Well, I don't know, but, uh, what comes up has to come down

and with Sister Bertrille, it usually comes down with a thud.

Sure.

I've got plenty. About, uh, 10 of my bookcases should do it.

Oh, Señor Salvador, that's wonderful. I knew we could count on you.

We'll add an extra prayer. Hold it.

You know my motto.

No cash, no credit, no prayers. I swap.

Yes, of course.

You've got something?

Sure have. Right over here.

Books?

What's wrong with books?

Old books at that.

Yes, but don't you see? That-that's what makes them so valuable.

They contain the wisdom of the ages. Is that so?

The immortal words of the world's greatest thinkers

down through history. Is that so?

The priceless heritage of those who have lived and died before us.

Is that so?

It's a deal?

I don't want them.

Is that so?

Señor swapping Salvador, we don't have anything else to swap.

I'm sorry you had to come all the way out here.

I should've known you wouldn't want these old books.

Well, now, uh, wait a minute.

Uh, maybe I was too hasty.

After all, we've been doing business for years.

Do you remember when you swapped me that old cement bird bath

for a 2nd hand refrigerator? Yeah.

Well, I lost money on that deal, too.

But I don't mind. I like you.

I like this convent, I like the sisters,

I like the mother superior and I even like the kids.

So, I'll swap.

The bookshelves for these?

That's the deal.

I'll get my helper to give me a hand with these.

He's in the truck outside.

Right.

Oh, wait till I tell Brother Paul the good news.

It'll give him a new lease on life.

Hello, sister.

Hello, Salvador. How nice to see you.

I understand, uh, Sister Bertrille made you a deal.

Yes. And I am gypped again.

But you know, from her, I don't mind.

Well, I--I just wanted to make sure you got the right books.

Oh, I have the right books, all right.

The wisdom of the ages.

I see.

And are you going to imbibe the wisdom of the ages?

I would not know what to do with it.

But I will get a few dollars for the books.

Selling them?

Oh, no, sister, grinding them into pulp.

Oh.

If you will excuse me,

I--I must get these books on the truck, huh? Oh, yes. Of course.

Thank you.

[Bertrille] Brother Paul,

when I didn't find you in your room,

I suspected you were doing something like this.

Sister Bertrille,

locked in my room I had time to think.

And I've decided that I liked your convent too much

to let me happen to it any longer. So I'm going away.

Oh, boy, are you playing the martyr bit?

That's not true. Oh, yes, it is.

So you quit. You're gonna walk out on us.

You're gonna throw in the sponge with our library.

Well, what do you expect me to do when I cindered the shelves?

I expect you to stay and help us build the new shelves.

New shelves?

Yes. Swapping Salvador is sending them over

as soon as he gets back to his store.

Swapping Salvador?

What's that?

It's a he. And he's a very wonderful human being

who we do business with whenever we're broke, which is all the time.

Sister Bertrille, I'm delighted.

Oh, but, uh, what about the big hole I put in the wall?

We can cover it up.

Speaking about that large hole,

what about those parchments you found?

Gee, in my grief, I forgot about them.

But you're right, sister. I was a fool to have given up so easily.

Why, if those parchments are worth what I think they are,

I'll be able to make up for everything I've done to this convent.

And you were just about to find out if they were worth anything, remember?

The library. Let's get back to the library. Yes. Right.

[whistles]

What? Aren't you forgetting something?

Now, when Sister Ana ran in to tell us about the, um,

the accident,

I became rather upset. That's natural.

So I quickly placed the parchments

in a volume of an old encyclopedia for safekeeping.

That's logical.

Then I put the encyclopedia down...

That's smart.

...on this pile of books.

That's terrible.

There--there're no books.

Of course there're no books, because that's the pile of discard books

we were gonna throw away. Well, I realize that now.

I must have been a bit, uh, confused. Yeah.

Anyway, all is not lost. Where are the discard books?

Well, they're not here because we gave them to swapping Salvador

for the new bookshelves.

Sister Jacqueline, oh.

Were you there when swapping Salvador

picked up those books? Mmm-hmm.

Did he tell you where he was taking them? Yes.

He said he was going to take them back to his place and grind them into pulp.

What?

I think I'm going to faint.

Well, find yourself someplace comfortable and lie down and faint.

I've got work to do.

[whirring]

Not that one, Señor Salvador.

Sister Bertrille, where did you come from?

Oh, I just dropped in for that book.

You see, it has something in it

that we wouldn't want ground up into pulp.

Oh, sure, sister, sure.

But, is there anything else you would like? No.

[truck engine starts]

Where's that truck going?

To your convent, with your library shelves.

Oh, could I hitch a ride?

Sister, do you think it is proper for a nun

of the convent San Tanco to ride in a truck?

Señor Salvador, have you ever seen the nuns of the convent of San Tanco

ride in the station wagon they ride in?

[birds chirping]

A few days away and just look at this desk.

Oh, will you file this away for me, please, Sister Ana?

By the way, how's our new library coming along?

I don't like to be the purveyor of bad news, Reverend Mother.

I see.

Brother Paul?

I'm sure Sister Bertrille tried her very best.

Yes, I'm sure she did.

Come along, sister. Come with me.

Reverend Mother, I don't think I'd go in there if I were you.

Sister Ana,

since the first days of my being assigned to this convent,

I have experienced hurricanes, tidal waves, and other major disasters

and I think that I can stand up to

whatever Brother Paul or Sister Bertrille have done to our library.

Well, I--I just wanted to spare you.

Thank you, sister.

Hi. Well, what do you think?

It's absolutely beautiful.

We're rather proud of it.

A place for every book and every book in its place.

I think these two deserve a whopping 3 cheers.

I heartily agree.

Brother Paul, Sister Bertrille,

you've done a magnificent job.

Haven't they, Sister Ana?

Yes, they have.

Uh, of course. We're not c-completely through yet.

No, there are a few more details left.

Oh.

Yes. Uh, such as, uh, new blinds for the windows.

Yes. These up here are too worn now.

Oh, here. Let--let me do-- oh, I can do it.

No, no, no, no. I know how to do it.

No, no, there's a slight trick to it.

You see, uh, it's very simple. You just give it a quick tug, like this.

I can't get over it, a request for me to work in the Vatican library.

Well, what other reward do you expect

for the discovery of the famous San Tanco scrolls?

But this was my life-long ambition.

I--I never thought I'd realize it.

It's a miracle.

It just goes to show you,

if you're in San Juan, everything can't be so rotten in Denmark.

What I still can't figure out is

why those parchments were placed in the walls.

Well, uh, Brother Paul, legend has it

that when the pirate lafitte looted this part of the new world,

many valuables were placed in the walls of the old buildings.

Many valuables?

Oh, Reverend Mother, do you think that-- Sister Bertrille.

What? We are not going to demolish the walls

of this convent because of a legend.

Uh, Brother Paul, you will be interested to know

that the San Juan historical society is going to exhibit

the parchments that you found to the public

before they're sent on to the Vatican.

And give the convent a very nice donation for the privilege.

Thanks to you, Brother Paul.

Oh, it--it was nothing.

I mean,

anybody could have accidentally broken into the wall like that.

Not anybody, Brother Paul, not anybody.

Well, I suppose you're right, sister.

But finding those manuscripts has given me new courage.

I have a feeling

that there won't be any more catastrophes in my life.

Well, goodbye to you all

and thanks for everything.

God be with you, Brother Paul. Thank you.

You know, I'm almost convinced things will be different with him from now on.

Yes, I think that he probably has gotten over being accident prone.

Well, I hope--

[screams]

[exclaims]

I wonder if it's catching.

[end credits]

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