Original subtitles

[barking]

[Jacqueline] This is the convent San tanco in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Until one week ago, we were much like any other teaching order.

That is when sister bertrille came to join us.

Things were never quite the same after that.

You see, sister bertrille flies.

Oh, not in an airplane. She only weighs 90 pounds

and she just...Flies.

Unfortunately, her first landing

was not as graceful as her takeoff.

But a few days later,

in the quiet of early morning, when the wind was gusty,

sister bertrille's spirit of adventure got the better of her

and she took to the air again.

Unfortunately, her unscheduled flight

coincided with an all-night poker game

that was still going strong on a luxury yacht in San Juan harbor.

♪[music playing]

The yacht was owned by Carlos Ramirez,

who was a professional gambler

and the owner of a discotheque.

He was also a playboy and an agnostic.

Sister bertrille changed all that in one fell swoop.

[footsteps approaching]

Thought you'd like a belt, honey.

Carlos?

Huh?

Want a drink?

[drink splashing]

Hey, if you didn't want one, all you had to do was say "no."

What?

That's the first time I ever seen you refuse a drink.

I think I'm going to give up drinking.

[Jacqueline] Sister bertrille didn't know it yet,

but she was about to gain her first convert.

♪[music playing]

[people chattering]

[exclaiming]

Hi, Dottie. Oh, hi.

Hi. Hi, Dottie.

Oh, when did-- when did you get in?

We just flew in from Miami. Where's Carlos?

In his office, reading.

Readin'?

You mean, like books? Worse than that. Religious books.

You're kiddin'.

He hasn't touched a card or been near a crap table for 3 days.

No kidding. I'm really worried about him.

Yeah, well, me, too.

I mean, we came over here for a little bit of action, you know.

Well, what do you think I've been lookin' for?

Except he's given up girls, too.

Chicks I can understand, but cards?

Yeah.

You know, sometimes I think you fellas got a funny sense of values.

Come on.

Look what just blew in. Hiya, Carlos.

$100 I can guess what kind of book you're reading.

I don't bet on things like that, Lou.

So, we ain't fussy.

What's your game? Poker, craps?

I'm sorry.

But I'm afraid you have to count me out.

I was just going for a walk on the beach.

What for?

To think, Dottie.

I need time to meditate.

See what I mean?

I can't do a thing with him.

Hey.

This really is milk.

[Carlos] That's right.

I don't keep liquor here anymore.

Now what's the matter, Carlos?

You sick or somethin'?

Perhaps I've been sick all my life,

but now I think I'm on the road to recovery.

Please come in, sister bertrille.

Thanks.

You wanted to see me, reverend mother? Yes.

Bishop Dillion will be arriving in San Juan tomorrow

and staying a few days.

Now, I think it would be inadvisable to inform him

of your talent for aerobatics.

Oh, I don't think the subject will come up.

No, you do not understand me, sister.

I do not want you to fly while the bishop is on the island.

You mean I'm grounded?

I would like you to stay on the ground, yes.

Oh.

Not even a quick flip around the convent when the lights are out?

What's the matter, reverend mother?

[sighing] Sister bertrille, since your arrival,

I sometimes feel as if I'm living

in Alice in Wonderland.

I saw your friend at early mass this morning, sister bertrille.

Oh, which friend is that?

Señor Ramirez.

Señor Ramirez? At mass?

Si. You could have knocked me over with a father.

Feather, sister.

Are you sure it was Señor Ramirez?

I saw him at the late mass, too.

He went to mass twice in one day?

Boy, that's really going the complete pig.

Complete pig?

The complete pig.

The whole hog?

[laughing]

American, very hard language.

Well, let's hope that Señor Ramirez's

return to the fold is permanent.

And that he's given up his life as a professional gambler.

Yeah, I'd like to think he has,

but I 'll lay you 8 to 5 he hasn't.

[waves crashing]

[seagulls cawing]

Carlos! Carlos!

[panting]

Hi.

Hello.

You know, I've warned you, Carlos,

nobody likes a playboy who's a drag.

You keep this up and you're going to get

a very bad reputation among the other gamblers.

I'm sorry, Dottie,

but there are things more important than their feelings.

Oh, what is it, Carlos?

Is it another girl?

In a way.

Well, what do you mean "in a way"?

Perhaps I do owe you an explanation.

I saw a nun flying, Dottie.

Well, what's so strange about that?

There's nothing in their religion that stops them from flying.

This one was flying without a plane.

Without a plane?

Yes.

Not even parachute?

Just flying?

Yes.

Oh, look--look, Carlos.

You know I-I'd be the last person

to put the knock on the nuns.

But they just don't have that kind of power, honey.

I know. That's the whole point.

It must be some

kind of sign.

Sign? Yes.

To change my way of life.

A vision.

I got to say something for you, honey

you sure got original vision.

[Bertrille] ♪ paint me a picture ♪

[children] ♪ la, la, la ♪

♪ paint me a picture ♪

♪ la, la, la ♪

♪ paint me a picture of your all-time favorite ♪

♪ and everyday you think about it dream ♪

♪ paint me a picture ♪

♪ la, la, la ♪

♪ paint me a picture ♪

♪ la, la, la ♪

♪ paint me a picture of a nightmare that you had ♪

♪ that wasn't half as bad as it seemed ♪

♪ red and yellow ♪

♪ green and blue ♪

♪ mix them anyway ♪

♪ let's see just what you can do ♪

♪ paint me a picture ♪

♪ la, la, la ♪

♪ paint me a picture ♪

♪ la, la, la ♪

♪ paint me a picture of what makes you happiest ♪

♪ and then we'll try to make it come true ♪

♪ paint me a picture ♪

♪ of a honey bee ♪

♪ paint me a picture ♪

♪ of a funny me ♪

♪ paint me a picture ♪

♪ and then I'll paint a picture for you ♪

[children cheering]

[exclaiming]

Sister bertrille?

Well, hi, Dottie. What are you doing here?

Well, I had to see you about something very important, sister.

Oh, Ok.

[speaking Spanish]

[in English] [English translation] Take 5, kids.

Some classroom, huh? Hmm.

I tell you, sometimes I feel like the Prisoner of Zenda.

Well, come on over here and you can tell me all about your problem.

Oh, thanks, sister oh, you're a real doll.

Oh, no--no offense, sister.

Uh, sister, I--I would have gone to see a priest,

but I feel I can really talk to you.

I mean, you used to be a girl and all.

Well, that's one way of putting it.

Anyway, you--you seemed closer to the problem.

What do you mean? Well,

[stuttering] I'm getting to that. See, it's about Carlos.

No kidding, sister, I-I'm worried sick about him.

He's given up gambling and drinking and even girls.

But, no kidding, he's turning into some kind of monk!

Oh.

[stuttering] No offense.

I know he's been coming to mass everyday, Dottie,

but I don't think that could really be considered a turn for the worse.

But you don't know why he's suddenly changed.

He's having

[whispering] Religious hallucinations.

[whispering] What kind of hallucinations?

Hold on to your hat, sister.

He says he's seen a nun flying.

Oh, swell.

He even thinks it's some kind of vision or something.

But I--I told him that, well, you people don't do that sort of thing,

but he--he just won't listen.

Well, w-what do you think, sister?

I think it's something that has to be nipped in the bud right away!

Sister, what are you doing on roller skates?

Well, the reverend mother took the car, so I borrowed these from one of the kids.

I got to see Señor Ramirez fast.

Why? So he can go back to gambling and girls.

I beg your pardon.

Well, that's not exactly what I mean,

but I just found out that he's been coming to mass

because he saw me flying and thinks he had a vision.

I've got to tell him the truth.

But I thought you wanted him to come to church.

Yes, but for the right reasons,

not because he saw me flipping off in the wild blue yonder.

That's the easy way to get converts.

You understand?

I think so.

Don't take too long.

The bishop's expected this afternoon

and he'll be inspecting the classrooms!

Check!

Carlos!

Señor Ramirez! Carlos!

Oh, I'm so glad I found you.

Why do you go to see me?

Well, I haven't got much time, so I'll get right to the point.

You've changed because you thought you saw a vision of me flying, right?

Oh, sister bertrille,

my vision of you is not a laughing matter.

But it's not a vision. You see, I can fly.

Look, Carlos, it's very simple.

You see, I only weigh 90 pounds,

and the combination of my cornet and the wind lifts me.

So how come you not flying now?

I have skates in my hands.

Oh, sister, would you please leave me alone?

Carlos, I haven't got time to argue.

Look, if I give you a quick demonstration, will you believe me then?

You are going to fly now?

Yeah, well, just a quick hop, but you'll get the idea.

Let's see, I need some elevation for takeoff. That rock'll do.

Oh, sister, sister, you're going to fall from there.

Yeah, they laughed at the Wright brothers, too.

Look, you just keep your eyes peeled for people.

I don't want anymore counterfeit converts.

Wind's not bad.

There. Now, I just jettison my skates and I'm ready for takeoff.

Contact.

Convinced? Convinced.

Now, Carlos, just because you've learned it wasn't a vision,

that's no reason to stop coming to mass.

I mean, there's lots of other reasons-- where are you going?

First, I'm going to get drunk.

Then, I'm going to gamble,

and then-- Carlos.

Sister, I have to do something to regain my reputation.

[Reverend Mother] All things considered, your grace,

we have enjoyed some measure of success, despite the handicaps.

Of course, our major problem is still a lack of funds.

We've had to make do with such inadequate...

Sister bertrille,

shouldn't you be in your classroom?

[stuttering] Well, I was just on my way, reverend mother.

Uh, your grace, this is sister bertrille who teaches kindergarten.

She's been with us just 2 weeks.

Your grace. Sister.

Why are you crouching like that, sister?

Well--well, I often stand like this, your grace.

Oh.

I was just looking at your classroom.

Oh, great place if you're a mole, huh?

I--I mean, that'll all change now that Señor Ramirez

has donated his land for the new school.

Oh, yes, the reverend mother was telling me about that.

And I should like to meet this Señor Ramirez

to thank him for his generosity.

Oh, I'm sure he'll get quite a kick out of it,

and you'll like him, too. He's a great guy.

Thank you for your information, sister. You may leave now.

After you.

Sister bertrille, your class is waiting.

Right.

Does she always use that method of transportation?

I wish she did.

[stuttering] Uh, sister bertrille is somewhat unorthodox,

but her intentions are good.

I'm sure they are.

Reverend mother, I am anxious to meet this Señor Ramirez.

He must be a very devout man.

I'm sure he is, about some things.

[Carlos] I'll raise you

1,000.

Oh, honey, don't you think you ought to quit?

You've been losing for 8 straight hours.

My luck's just about to change now.

I call.

Flush.

Full boat.

Well...

[sighing]

That sees me out.

Do you know how much you lost, Carlos?

Sure. Everything.

Not everything. You still got your boat.

No, no. That I would like to keep.

Yeah, but Tony here's got a point.

I mean, we hate to quit without giving you a chance to get your money back.

How about you put up your boat against everything you lost.

Oh, no, no. The cards aren't on my side today.

It don't have to be poker. You name the bet.

♪[children singing]

Well, what is it, honey?

[shushing]

[Bertrille] ♪ paint me a picture of what makes you happiest ♪

♪ and then we'll try to make it come true ♪

♪ paint me a picture and then I'll paint a picture for you ♪

Did you say any bet?

Yeah, sure.

Gentlemen, you have a wager.

What's the bet?

Come here.

[children chattering]

[Bertrille] All right, kids. Come on, let's go. Pedro, hurry up.

Don't hog the water. Ah, come on, kids.

I'll bet my yacht against my losses

that within 8 hours, you're going to see that nun fly.

[scoffs]

Hey, I mean, what kind of bet is that?

Anybody can buy an airline ticket.

Oh, no, you're going to see her fly unaided.

Oh, Carlos, you're not going to start that again!

Wait a minute. Are you trying to tell us

that you think that nuns can fly?

Oh, no. Not all nuns.

That one.

[chuckling] The--the joke's over, guys.

Carlos is just putting you on, weren't you, Carlos?

Oh, no. I'm putting her up.

Let me get this straight.

You're willing to bet your boat that the little nun can...

That's very good.

Can you do bird calls, too?

Now gentlemen,

is it a bet?

You must be crazy, Carlos.

There's an old Spanish saying

[speaking Spanish]

What's that mean?

[in English] Put up or shut up.

Carlos, I can't fly for money.

Well, why not? Are you afraid of losing your amateur standing?

I can't fly, period. I've been grounded.

But I don't understand.

There's a strong trade wind. The weather is perfect.

I promised the reverend mother I wouldn't fly

while the bishop was in Puerto Rico.

But you've got to.

If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have tried to make up for lost time

and gambled so stupidly.

Well, Carlos, I'm really sorry, but I--

oh, listen, don't you think you owe me this?

Owe you? Yes.

I donated the land to the convent

when I saw you fly the first time, right?

Yes. Now, when I learned that

that was not a vision, I didn't take the land back.

But I haven't signed the papers yet.

You'd welch on your promise?

Well,

my yacht means a lot to me.

Well, I'll try and get permission from the reverend mother,

but it's a long shot.

Sister, I've been backing long shots all my life.

Swell, but you never bet on the reverend mother before.

Reverend mother!

[station wagon engine starting]

Oh, hi, your grace.

Uh, reverend mother, I need your advice.

We have no time now, sister.

Uh, his grace and I are going into town.

But it's about, uh, convent policy.

Well, sister, you will have to learn to make some decisions by yourself.

Isn't that right, your grace?

Now, you just ask yourself, "is it for the good of the convent?"

The answer will be apparent.

Well, I guess that settles that.

Ok, Carlos, I'll make one pass over the yacht.

But you better tell your friends to keep their eyes peeled

because I don't plan on any encores.

Once will be enough, sister.

Yeah, it'll be more than enough if the bishop sees me.

Now, we better synchronize our watches.

Hello. Hello.

What's the matter? I just remembered. I don't have a watch.

Well, anyway, look for me in 4 minutes.

Fine.

What are you lookin' for?

The nun. Who else?

[laughing] Are you kiddin'?

I got a feeling this is a real sucker bet.

It smells like a set-up, you know, Lou.

I mean, why would a sharp guy like Carlos

bet on a flying nun unless he had some kind of inside information?

'Cause it's all in his mind, that's why. Dottie told us that.

I don't know. I mean, that might be part of the set-up.

And what if she's some kind of, uh, sky diver.

I'll tell you something, Tony. If Carlos can show us a nun flying,

or even sky diving, I'm willing to give him the money.

She's coming over in 3 minutes.

Level with us, Carlos. This is some kind of joke, right?

I can't afford this type of joke, Lou.

Now, you have to promise me

that what you are about to see will remain just between the three of us.

Sure, sure. But what about them?

Thank you, your grace.

Oh, Señor Ramirez, I would like to introduce bishop Dillion.

Oh, very nice to meet you, your grace.

But, I am, uh, rather busy right now.

Well, I just wanted to thank you personally

for your generous gift of your land.

Well, thank you, your grace,

but I'm, uh, expecting a visitor now.

She the one who flies?

I beg your pardon?

This is mother superior from convent San tanco

and this is bishop Dillion.

They were just leaving.

Could I take a moment to look around? I-I've never been on a yacht before.

Oh, well, of course.

I'll show you the cabin.

In a moment. Yes.

The water here is so blue.

Holy Toledo, there she is!

Your grace!

I'm extremely sorry.

I'm afraid I--I can't swim!

[Carlos] Hold on, your grace.

Mr. Bishop, I'll get a life belt!

[Bishop Dillion] I'm afraid I--I can't swim.

I can't swim.

Just relax, your grace. I'm a great swimmer.

Well, I must say, it was very nice

of Señor Ramirez to lend me these dry clothes.

Yeah. Looks great on you, your grace.

You should wear yellow more often.

Sister.

I still don't understand how I fell overboard.

And how did you reach my side so quickly?

You--you--you seemed to come from nowhere.

Oh, I was just in the neighborhood, and I saw you having problems,

so I just dove right in.

Well,

I'm sure my clothes are dry by now. Yes.

Thank you again, sister bertrille.

You should be in the Olympics.

In what category?

Why, swimming, of course.

Oh, swimming.

That is, unless you have other talents, too.

Goodbye, sister bertrille. Your grace.

And I'll see you later, reverend mother. Yes, your grace.

[door opening]

[door closing]

I'm sorry I had to fly, reverend mother,

but I felt it was for the good of the convent. Sister...

Yes, I understand the problem you faced.

But in the future, I think it might be better

if you didn't see Señor Ramirez so frequently.

That will be all. You can go, sister.

Sister.

Just out of curiosity, how did his grace fall overboard?

I don't know.

It could have been a gust of wind, reverend mother.

You know, the wind can do strange things in San Juan.

Don't remind me, sister. Don't remind me.

[end credits]

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