All language subtitles for The A-Team (1983) - S04E15 - Members Only (1080p x265 EDGE2020).eng

We're getting a real criminal
element in this club.

What would the A-Team
be doing at Beverly Bay?

There's a major
counterfeiting operation
going on at this club.

I knew it. All these
rich folks are crooks.

[grunts]

Do you mind
if I play through?

Who the hell are you?

We've got your $2 million
of funny money.

He's history!

I don't think so, sucker!

[gun firing]

There's a bomb in that plane
that's set to go off
in three minutes.

(male narrator)
In 1972,
a crack commando unit...

was sent to prison
by a military court...

for a crime
they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped...

from a maximum-security
stockade...

to the Los Angeles
underground.

Today, still wanted
by the government...

they survive
as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem,
if no one else can help...

and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire
the A-Team.

[gun firing]

(Hannibal)
This is the big surprise?

(Face)
Isn't it fantastic?

Lunch at
the Beverly Bay Club.

It's Friday, Face.

Fridays I sneak into Paramount
and try to hustle...

a job out of
a casting director or two.

Yeah, well,
your sneaking days
are over, Hannibal.

'Cause Templeton Peck
is moving up in society.

[sighing]

Here you go.

Well, I'll just leave
the keys in the car.

I still don't see
how this is going to turn
my acting career around.

Hannibal, you can meet
more producers here...

at one lunch than you can
in a whole year of sneaking
onto studio lots.

This is the lunch spot
in Beverly Hills, you know.

For instance, Jeff Sikorsky...

Head of Bi-Star Productions?
...has lunch here
every Friday.

Just like clockwork.
Always orders
tuna fish and milk.

Now wait a minute,
this is a very
exclusive club, Face.

What are you?
Their token fugitive?

Look, I always wanted
to be a member of this place.

Well, I started
putting in applications
before I went to Nam.

In fact, I patterned
the DMZ Racquet Club
after this place.

Yes, right down to the sauna
and the men's locker room.

(Face)
Ah, Mr. LeCraw.

Listen, I want you to meet
a very good friend of mine,
Hannibal Smith.

How do you do?
How do you do?

Listen, Chuck,
I want to thank you...

and the membership committee
again for all you've done.

Well, it was a very
close vote, Mr. Hemmings,
but you are in.

And I couldn't be
more pleased.

[chuckling]

There is still the two-month
trial period, you understand.

Oh, yes, yes, yes,
I'm behind you 100% on that.

We can't be too careful over
who we grant membership
into a club like this.

Although, personally,
I don't even see
why we need two months.

I mean, I can spot
the riffraff in two days,
for crying out loud.

[laughing]

Goodbye.

[sighing]
Mr. Hemmings, this club is
going to cost you a fortune.

Yes, well, obviously,
my background wouldn't fly.

Ashley Hemmings,
on the other hand,
prepped at Westminster...

yes, and then went on to Yale.

Yes, captain
of the rowing team.

[sighing]
Center-midfielder on
the lacrosse team, you know.

Corporate attorney in
Century City, with a second
house in Newport Beach.

Can't wait to see his yacht.
Plane. He flies a plane.

Took me two months
to create this guy.

You know, bank records,
credit ratings,
driver's license--

Madras shirt,
argyle socks.

Ha-ha!

[birds chirping]

[golf club swishing]

Two for lunch, Mr....
Hemmings.

This way.

Face, are you sure
you're gonna be
comfortable...

being a member
of this club?

Hannibal, this is my chance
to be part of the upper crust.

[people chattering]
Thank you.

Which, of course,
is where I belong.

But it's Ashley Hemmings
who's being...

part of the upper crust,
not Templeton Peck.

Well, look, I just wanna
go legit, Hannibal.

Now, I don't want
to end up in prison.

Oh, my gosh.

Jeff Sikorsky,
last table on the left.

One of the key
movers and shakers
in Hollywood.

Of course, here, he's just
another member of the club.

I'm not sure about this, Face.
Ashley. I'm Ashley Hemmings.

Funny, you're a dead ringer
for Templeton Peck.

What are you doing at my club?
I'm a guest of Dr. Richter.

Your psychiatrist brings you
to his country club?

Every Friday.

Yes, doubles in the morning,
and a session at lunch.

You see, exercise,
it frees up those
associative blockers.

Well, do me a favor, Murdock.

I'm Ashley Hemmings,
and you don't know me.

Oh, what a shame.

I mean, the value of a place
like this is getting to know
the right people.

Oh, the doctor's in
the locker room.
I'll sign the check.

That's fine, Mr. Murdock.

The man is signing checks.

(Murdock)
There you go.
See you next Friday.

I'll be here.

[giggling]

I can't even sign checks
for two more months.

You know, Hannibal,
you really should try
the hot pecan pie.

(Murdock)
Simply scrumptious.

[groans]

(Face)
Oh, here he comes.

Keep it up.

[chuckling]

Jeff, how's the fish?

Hey, how's the backhand?

[laughing]

Jeff, Jeff Sikorsky,
I'd like you to meet
a dear, dear friend of mine.

Hannibal Smith. Jeff Sikorsky.

How do you do, Mr. Sikorsky?
Oh, please, Jeff.

"Hannibal Smith."
What a great name.

Hannibal is a very fine actor.
He's just in from New York.

Really? You should shoot
your résumé over to my office.

Mark it personal
and confidential.
I'll do that, Jeff.

Does that put me in
for the 10%, Jeff?

[laughs raucously]

Means that you can add it
to my tennis losses, H.M.

Listen, I've gotta run.
It's nice meeting you,
Hannibal.

Same, Jeff. Take care.
Bye.

[sighing]

Well, thanks
for the intro.

You told him
not to know you,
remember?

You're palling around
with Jeff Sikorsky?

Great exec,
lousy tennis player.

Dr. Richter and I are
cleaning his clock
at doubles.

Oh, I don't
believe this.

(Mrs. Prescott)
There you are, Ashley.
Oh, no.

I just had to stop by
and tell you that my daughter
Adrian is here today.

Really?
Oh, really.

She's playing
the front nine.

She'll probably be
making the clubhouse turn
at any minute.

So, why don't we go
down there and I will
finally introduce you?

Well, see, I'm sort of
busy here, Mrs. Prescott.

Oh, that's okay, Ash,
you go ahead. I'll be fine.

Oh.

Then it's all settled.
See you down there.

[sighing]

Thanks. Boy, is this lunch
turning south.

Oh, Face, the real benefit
of a club like this is getting
to know the right people.

Oh, Hannibal, please,
this daughter's gotta be
a real woofer.

[birds chirping]

Well, you're the caddy,
it's your job
to mark the lie.

Okay.

I found it.

(Adrian)
Give it to me.

[giggling]

[laughing]

What the heck is this?

It's a golf bag.
Who would put a golf bag
in the middle of--

Forget the bag.

Adrian.

Adrian, we can't keep
sneaking around like this.

Don't you think we should
tell your mother about us?

No. Absolutely not.
She'd never understand.

Now shut up
and kiss me.

Adrian is always
off in the rough.
She has a terrible slice.

And maybe
you could correct that.

Yeah, look, maybe we should
do this another time.
Oh, don't be silly. Adrian!

Oh, my gosh. It's my mother.

Where are you, dear?

Mother, what are you
doing here?

So, this is your--
You were due back
20 minutes ago.

Now, I could see
your bag from the patio.

So I just decided
that we would surprise you.

I hate surprises.

This is Ashley Hemmings.
Ashley is an attorney.

Another surprise?

Yes, how do you do?

Excuse me,
mind if we play through?

Go ahead!
Come on, Mother,
I'm through for the day.

[leaves rustling]

There's a slice
worse than yours, dear.

Oh, Adrian, perhaps we should
give the gentleman a ride.

We don't pick up
hitchhikers.

[exclaims]

I thought you two
should meet.

You know, we have
an extra ticket
to the roast tomorrow.

Mother, I told you,
I'm busy tomorrow.
Don't be rude, dear.

Rude is trying
to marry me off
on the ninth fairway.

Hey, he found our bag.

Hey, you, with the bag!

Keep driving, girls.

Tennis courts are nightlit.
There's an extra
putting green there.

That's the front nine,
and that's Faceman chasing
someone into the rough.

No shooting
in the rough.

[gun firing]

Let's get out of here.

Wait for me, guys!

[gun firing]

(Face)
Try to stay off the fairway,
okay, guys?

Move it out of here!
Come on!

(Face)
Oh, no.

(Face)
Fore!

(Face)
Playing through!

(Face)
Oh, no, not on the green!

Well...

Chuck LeCraw
is gonna love this.

(Chuck)
You have been a member
for a week...

and we find your
golf cart upside down
on the eighth green.

On a green, yet!

Chuck, listen, I'm really
very sorry about all this...

but those two players
were shooting at that caddy.

What two players?
The two players that
jumped over the wall.

Mr. Hemmings, our members
usually leave the club
through the lobby.

Well, I don't think
these guys were members.
See, they had guns.

Oh.

Well, Andy Brumby,
who was crouched
for a putt on seven...

says you
had the gun.

Me? A gun?
Mmm.

Look, according to
the starter's sheet...

those players were
signed in as guests
of a Mr. Bob McKeever.

(Chuck)
He claims these men
were brought...

into the club by you,
Mr. McKeever.

Chuck, I didn't have
any guests today. Somebody
must have signed my name.

And I thought
we had a rule...

about guests signing in
with members present
and all that.

You're absolutely
right, Bob.

Besides, my guests
keep their firearms
mounted on the wall.

[all laughing]

Gin.

Super.

Well, boys, that's it.

62, 25 for gin is 87.

Plus the four that you lost
when he knocked.

Well, let's see,
that makes $10 a point and--

$1,862.

How did you do that?
Oh, well, it's just
a talent I have.

Well, sorry
to bother you, Bob.

(McKeever)
No bother.

I'm on probation.
Can you believe that?

(Hannibal)
I'm sorry, Face.

Face?

Hannibal? Ash.

Look, who are you?
What's going on?

We're the guys who know
what you were doing
in the rough...

with a caddy
named Frank Pallotta.

So?

So? Honey, the guys
with the guns...

were trying to kill
that caddy friend of yours.

We can't have things like that
going on at the country club,
now, can we?

If I were you,
I'd tell us where he is.

Otherwise you may wind up
explaining that to your mother
at his funeral.

All right, let's go.

[snorts]
Attorney, huh?

(Landrum)
For you, Bob.

Excuse me.

Yeah.

Any luck?
Yeah, we got an address...

on that caddy
that grabbed the bag.

Good.

Now you go over there
and terminate the deal.

You sure?
Absolutely.

But make sure
you get a refund first.
Yes, sir.

Oh, and there's
a new member here
named Ashley Hemmings.

I think you may have
run into him
on the golf course.

I think that you may wanna
take the time to meet him.

Yes, sir.

Right.

Vice presidents.

You gotta remind them
every day how to
conduct business.

(Adrian)
Frank, are you home?

(Hannibal)
Looks like we're not
the only ones on his trail.

Face, you and Adrian
check the bedroom.

[birds chirping]

Hold it, kid!

I don't have it.
Look, I'm telling you,
I don't have it!

Relax, man,
your girlfriend
wanna see you.

A golf bag filled with money?

That must have been the reason
they were chasing me.

This bag was packed solid
full of cash, $100 bills.

The golf bag.

What do you think, Face?
What would it hold?

Well, a golf bag's
about three feet high...

and let's say, oh,
16 inches in diameter...

and then there's those little
side pockets where you keep
the balls and tees, and....

Yeah, see, each packet
is $10,000...

so, I'd say you could stuff
about $2 million in there...

and still have room
for a couple of golf clubs.

Where's the bag?

Well, I stashed it
in the rough when I jumped
over the wall.

The thing was really
slowing me down.

You left $2 million
in the woods?

Money isn't everything,
Adrian.

But it ain't nothing.
Let's get that bag
before somebody else does.

You locate that caddy?

We tore his place up.
No bag, no caddy--

Find the caddy and make him
take you to the bag.

That means coming
back to the club.

You come on back,
I'll arrange cover for you.

Tell Yelvington to go back
to the airport. We don't want
to raise any eyebrows.

Yes, sir.

(Frank)
I think I ran over that way.

Bingo.

Oh, yes.

Take a look.

[chuckles]

Funny money.

It's counterfeit?
Just paper.

So, we got a bag
full of counterfeit dough...

and two hook-nosed golfers
trying to pick it up.

Those thugs were signed in
with McKeever...

whose guests
don't carry guns...

but nonetheless were shooting
at our boy Frank here.

Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

You just can't waltz
into the Beverly Bay...

and sign in
as a guest of a member.

Nay, they watch this place
pretty close.

Good point, Murdock.

What does this guy McKeever
do for a living?

He's the president
of Merchant Security Bank.

I love it.

I knew it, I knew it.
All these rich folks
are crooks.

That is a gross
generalization...

when applied to an entire
sociological target group.

Yeah, but it's true.

[scoffs]

Come on,
I wanna meet this guy.

Why do we have to
hide it here?

Because we have to
get to it quickly.

This is just temporary.

I'm doomed. I'll never
get off probation now.

I can say I "was" a member
of Beverly Bay Club.

Yeah, for a week.

All right, we got
a bag of funny money
and a banker.

Now, what else do we know
about McKeever?

He plays gin
for $10 a point.
Golf, too.

I've heard talk around
the club about his game.
It's high stakes.

I think McKeever's handicap
is about an eight.

Hmm.

A gambler.
I bet the guy just
hates to lose. Okay.

We'll get him
in a golf game.

Face, you and Murdock get rid
of whomever he's supposed to
play with today.

Well, how do you propose
to meet McKeever?

Well, we're all members
of the same club,
right, Face?

[stammering]

No! We're....

How you doing,
sweetheart?

Nice to see you all.

Well, my goodness,
you really like
those walnuts, don't you?

[laughing]
Oh, I love them.

They're full of vitamins,
minerals, linoleic acid.

That's what I keep
telling the little missus.

Bob McKeever.
Hannibal Smith.

You know, I found a great way
to get rid of the shells.

Yeah? What's that?
I just started tossing them.

I can sit on my back porch
and throw them 30 yards
into my lake.

Impossible. Too light.
No, all you have to do
is work on your throw.

See, you start
with a whole nut.

Then you get down,
you can pitch
those shells a mile.

It's like working out
with a medicine ball.

How far would you say it is
to the ninth tee over there?

Fifty, sixty yards.

I can toss a walnut
over that tee.
Impossible. Too light.

For $100?

Are you trying to
hustle me, Mr. Smith?
No.

For nothing. Gentlemen's bet.
What do you say, Bob?

$500 says you can't pitch it
over the ninth tee.

$500? That's kind of steep.

Come on, it's action.
No fun if there's
no risk, hmm?

Okay.

You play golf?
Sure.

Want a chance to win
your money back?
You bet I do.

Yep, we've got to
play someday.

It's too bad that
I've got a partner today.

There you are.
Five Ben Franklins.

I'll see you.
You bet.

Gluing that ball bearing
in that walnut shell
was perfect.

Go to work
on the golf balls.

It's gonna be good,
Hannibal.

[chortling]

Pretty good,
pretty good.

All right, once again, now.
Don't break the wrist.
Keep it down like this.

Nice and tight.
Jimmy, listen....

My favorite grip.

All right, listen, I'm looking
for Bob McKeever's
golf partner.

Yeah, I just
met the gentleman.

He's over there,
putting his clubs
in the cart.

Thanks.
You got it.

Unbelievable.

Of all the country clubs
in Los Angeles...

General Fulbright has to be
a member of my club.

Face, you're gonna to have
to get plastic surgery.
No, I'm not.

Face, we got to dangle the fox
in front of the hounds.
No, we don't.

Face, it's got to be you.
It can't be me, because--

No! No! Listen, you
have got to be a caddy.

You've got to be kidding.

No. Oh, and have my car
brought around front.
I will not!

Tip the guy a buck.
No!

[clears throat]

Ashley, I've been looking
all over for you.

Mrs. Prescott, listen,
I really can't stop
and chat right now.

I just wanted to apologize
for Adrian's behavior.

All is forgiven,
now if you'll excuse me, I--

[groaning]

Peck!

Excuse me, ladies.

[tires screeching]

What is going on here?

That's it! He's history!

[tires screeching]

What do you mean,
he's called away
on business?

He's a general.
What are we, at war?

The general,
he sends
his regrets, sir.

Great. Now who the hell
am I supposed to play?

[birds chirping]

Mr. Smith.

Well, Mr. McKeever.

Yeah.
The walnut pitcher.

How'd you like to play nine?
Sure. What are the stakes?

$500 a hole too rich
for your blood?

No, $500 would be
just about right.

Great.

It's gonna be fun.

You betcha.

Nice shot.

That is quite a hook.

Yeah, I can never tell
where the heck
it's gonna land.

What did you say that
you did for a living?

Well, I recover
valuable objects
for people.

I always thought
this green broke
the other way.

Must be all the rain.

You're quite a player,
Mr. Smith. You're up $500.

Your honor.

Hello, this is
Ashley Hemmings. I'd like
an outside line, please.

[enunciating]
Hemmings.

You got a real
soft touch, boss.

Mmm.

Yeah, Trans Allied Express?

This is Bob McKeever,
Merchant Security Bank...

and, well, there's something
I need to check.

[door opening]

[door closing]

(Fulbright)
I lost them.
I can't believe they got away.

But at least they'll be back.

(Case)
Seems unlikely, sir.

Believe me, Sergeant,
they'll be back.

They're here.
I can smell them.

Run me a shower,
Sergeant. Hot.

[door sliding]

Pressure's on, Bob.

Well, you got to hit it.

Chuck!

I was just
looking for you.

Listen,
about those statues...

I'm sorry.

A double bogey.
Another hole
for me, Bob.

Yes, I'm down
six holes to two.

That's $2,000. What do you say
we play for double or nothing
on the ninth hole?

Well, I haven't been
completely straight
with you, Bob.

Remember what I do
for a living?

You're some kind
of a locator.

Right, and I've located
something you want.

Maybe we could
play for that.

What could you
possibly have
that I want?

It's our stuff, boss.

Who the hell are you?

We're the A-Team...

and we've got your $2 million
of funny money.

But I'm willing
to let it ride...

on the last hole.

What's my side?
You win,
you get the money, I walk.

I win,
you still get the money,
but you give us 50%.

We're getting
a real criminal element
in this club.

We'll have to speak
to the membership committee
about it.

You're on.

[device short-circuiting]

Well, it looks like
your luck is changing.

No, no, I insist, Bob.

You go ahead,
it'll add to the suspense.

You asked for it.

That's a gimme.

[ball clattering in cup]

Well, you'll have to
sink that to win.

Are you ready
to concede?

Are you kidding?
This is the best part
of my game.

Ha!

Game.

Not quite.

[gun cocking]
I'll have my money.

Are you gonna pull guns
right here
on the golf course?

You've got it.

Okay.

[gun cocking]

Why are you sticking
your noses into all this?

'Cause you stink up
the entire country club...

and you got
my favorite caddy fired.

We caddies
are a rough bunch.

[grunting]

[groaning]

What would the A-Team
be doing at Beverly Bay?

Doesn't make sense,
General.

[machine guns firing]

No, not in my club,
they don't. Come on.

Nice shot, Colonel.

[exclaims]

Look at that.

Come on, let's go.

Fulbright!

[gun firing]

I'm out.
I can't believe I'm out.

Months of hard work
down the drain.

Just because
of a few...

indiscretions.

Just because
I shower fully dressed--
Face. Face.

What?
What did you find out?

Oh, yeah, yeah,
Trans Allied Express.

Yeah, they transport
cash for banks.

And guess who one
of their biggest clients is?

Merchant Security Bank.
Bob McKeever.
Bingo.

And did they throw him
out of the club?

No, no, no,
he's still a member.

Yeah, well, anyway,
they've got a huge load
going out later today.

Does the club own
that wooded area
back there?

Yeah.

I think they're storing
the counterfeit money
somewhere in those woods.

You stumbled on
a pick-up point when you found
that golf bag in the rough.

I don't understand.
What's it got to do
with the airport?

McKeever's bank ships cash
cross-country using
Trans Allied Express.

Now, I think McKeever intends
to take the bank's cash...

and switch it
for the counterfeit money.

But just to have
the right kind of ashes...

'cause I'll bet
right after the switch...

the plane blows up.

Then the pilot
just bails on out.

And the counterfeit
money burns...

and McKeever winds up
with $2 million,
real money, in cash.

Which no one is looking for...

because it supposedly
burned up in the crash.

That's a pretty good plan,
Hannibal.
Yeah.

Is there a shack
or something back in there?

Oh, yeah, there's this
old boarded-up building
that Adrian and I...

ran across.

Face, you and Frank, go back,
get into the club,
and find that shack.

Keep your eye on it.
When they're ready to move,
let us know.

Take a walkie-talkie.
we'll get ready for them here.

Colonel, there's just
one little problem:

I'm no longer a member.

Oh, I can sneak you in.

You can?

Sure, I do it
all the time.

You would be surprised
how many people out there
on the course...

aren't even members.

No security.
No respect for new members.
Criminals playing gin.

You know something?
I'm glad I'm not a member
of this club.

So are we, Face.
Yeah, who needs it?

Mr. Hemmings.
Chuck!

What are you doing here?

Trying to sneak into
Beverly Bay now, are we?

Well, look, Chuck,
I know haven't been
a model member...

but we've discovered something
you are not gonna believe.

Mr. Hemmings,
I am not interested
in anything you have to say.

Now, will you please
leave the property
before I call the police?

And you too, son.

There's a major
counterfeiting operation
going on at this club.

Right. You see, there's
a shed back there--
Wait a minute.

What were you doing
back there?

Well, that's a long story.

But that shed
is being used to store
some very funny money.

And Bob McKeever's
behind the whole thing.

Bob McKeever, huh?
Mmm-hmm.

Well, that's quite
an accusation.

But even if it is true,
you won't live
to tell about it.

Oh, Chuck,
not you, too.

I'm afraid so.

Yeah, well, actually,
it restores my faith
in human nature.

[people chattering]

Excuse me.

[tapping over PA]

Please take your seats now.
Thank you very much.

Hi.

"If you have
an intellectual problem...

"ask an officer.

"He'll know a sergeant
who knows the answer."

[all laughing]

You know, when I went
into the Army...
That waiter.

...they asked me my religion.

That's Peck.
I told him I was a devout....

I need you
to help out on the dais.
But--

Just do it, please.
Right.

[all laughing]
I'm telling you,
that waiter's Peck.

Begging the General's
pardon, sir...

but I think you've got
A-Team on the brain.

(Greene)
You know something?
This stuff kills me...

and I wish it'd kill you.

[all laughing]

General Fulbright
confided in me...

he said, "Shecky,
in 30 years in the Army...

"I only had
one disappointment:
I never once...

"saw Bob Hope."

[all laughing]

Let me tell you something else
about this wonderful man.

He's a soldier's general.

He once said to me, "Shecky,
I slept in a pup tent."

Peck!
Who?

[groaning]

(Greene)
What's happening?

Could you give me
a hand, Mr. Greene?
Thank you.

[exclaiming]

Stop him! Stop that man!
He's one of the A-Team!

[waiters groaning]

Ashley, you're a waiter.
Oh, no, it's a smoking jacket.

[exclaiming]

[tires screeching]

(Face)
These guys are
armed to the teeth.

Got you, Lieutenant. Out.

We're gonna need
something outrageous.

The A-Team, huh?

They've got another
thought coming...

if they think they're
gonna stop this load.

All right.

Pretty quiet.
I like it.

Well, set the timer
and you're off.

See you in a few days.

[beeping]

Hey, is this the flight
to Cucamonga?

We're all fueled up.
You've got the wrong plane.

I don't think so, sucker!

Hey, Hannibal,
we got big trouble.
Fulbright's right on my tail.

[tires screeching]

There's a bomb in that plane
that's set to go off
in three minutes.

Murdock,
get this plane
in the air.

(Hannibal)
B.A., get the van.

[beeping]

[gun firing]

[steam hissing]

[beeping]

Do you mind
if I play through?

Well, this is typical.

One minute,
you're the member
of an exclusive club...

the next minute,
you're a waiter.
A fake waiter.

I'm sorry about you
losing your membership.

[sighing]

Why don't you become
one of Dr. Richter's patients?

Then maybe he can
bring you here
as a guest.

(Hannibal)
Yeah, look on
the bright side, Face.

Chuck LeCraw and Bob McKeever
lost their memberships, too.

Yeah, they'll probably start
their own club in prison.

Well, we did gain
one new member.

Frank and I
are getting married.

Congratulations.

I really wanna thank you guys
for giving me the arrest...

and letting me collect
the insurance company reward.

(Frank)
I guess I'm finally
one of them.

Too bad.

What about your mother?

Frank insists
we invite her
to the wedding.

It's time.

Hannibal,
are you sure you wanna
go through with this?

Face, this is
the opportunity
of a lifetime.

[people laughing]
He will never forget it.

And besides,
it took them two days
to put this roast together.

It's the least
we can do.

Okay.

I was in the Army two days
when General Fulbright
stopped me...

and he said,
"What's the matter, soldier?
Don't you see this uniform?"

I said, "What are you
complaining about? Take a look
at the rag they gave me."

[all laughing]

But you wanna know
something, General?

I was a good soldier.
I saved 280 men.

I shot the cook.

[all laughing]

What's this?

[cocks gun]

You're gonna
love this, General.

We got a critic in the room.

I understand we have
a very special friend...

of the General's
here with us tonight.

He'd like to pay his respects.

Ladies and gentlemen,
let's have a nice,
warm welcome...

for Colonel
John "Hannibal" Smith.

[all cheering]

Shecky,
ladies and gentlemen...

I'd like to say
a few words about
General "Bull" Fulbright.

A man I've known all my life.

Needless to say,
we don't call him
"Bull" for nothing.