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NARRATOR: In 1972, a
crack commando unit
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was sent to prison
by a military court
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00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,216
for a crime they didn't commit.
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These men promptly escaped from
a maximum security stockade
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to the Los Angeles underground.
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00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:14,431
Today, still wanted
by the government,
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they survive as
soldiers of fortune.
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If you have a problem,
if no one else can help,
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00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:22,355
and if you could find them,
maybe you can hire The A-Team.
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[gunfire]
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[theme music]
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tossing the case out.
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And the only chance
of that is by twisting
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his tube of toothpaste so
bad, he's got no choice.
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HANNIBAL: What are
you gonna do, Judge?
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Are you gonna let a
slime like Scarlett
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go, knowing he's
committed a murder?
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-Smith, that is my daughter!
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-I swear, I-- I
don't know anything
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00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,914
about Judge Mordente's daughter.
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I'm just an attorney!
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Hey!
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Hey!
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-Hey.
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We're on our way.
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We gotta pick up
Hannibal at the Judge's.
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Italy, my friend.
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Italy.
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-Italy.
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HANNIBAL: That's where they're
holding her, all right.
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-Yeah.
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Well, I guess when
you're the local don,
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you don't have to worry
about keeping a low profile.
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-If my father does what you
ask, will you let me go?
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-First we see what
the good judge
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decides about my
wonderful brother.
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Then we see what Don
Scarlatti decides
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about the judge's
lovely daughter.
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-I can't believe
you came after me!
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-Yeah, we're pretty amazing.
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[music playing]
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[gunfire]
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[gunfire]
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[boom]
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[gunfire]
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[boom]
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[gunshot]
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[tires screech]
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[gunfire]
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-I knew it.
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I knew you guys were trying
to put me on a plane.
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-I just want to stop by
and pick up my suitcase.
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-I told you, I don't
go on no planeS.
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I'll go by boat or I'll
even drive, but no flying.
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-I really believe
that this is not
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the proper time for such
a debate, Mr. Baracus!
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-I ain't flying!
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-Next time drop us off and
write when you get work!
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-OK, BA, slow down.
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BA!
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-Hey, BA, slow down!
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-No!
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No flying!
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00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:09,684
[explosion]
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-How could you do that to
a poor, defenseless DC-3?
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She didn't stand a chance!
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-I don't believe this.
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-Now we're stuck in this country
without any means of escape!
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HANNIBAL: Now the Captain
has a point there, BA.
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Whaddaya got to say about it?
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-(HAPPILY) We ain't flying!
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[sigh]
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HANNIBAL: Well, I like it.
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-Yeah, well, I
spent all our funds
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00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,630
getting the plane and artillery
for this little jaunt.
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00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:26,261
So I have, uh, only enough money
for maybe-- maybe-- one room.
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-I like it.
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-Going to have to get
accommodations for all of us
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without any money.
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00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,474
-Of course.
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00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,351
-Of course.
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-Now, Face, if we had
endless amounts of money
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at our disposal and we
could do whatever we want,
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whenever we wanted, we wouldn't
really need you, now would we?
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-That's why I stick
around, Hannibal.
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You have such a wonderful way
of making one feel so much
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00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,743
a part of the team.
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LORI: Well, what can you do?
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I mean, if you haven't any
money and you don't know anyone
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00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,790
on board, how will
you get us on?
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00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,335
-Well, it's, uh,
really just a matter
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00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:01,212
of looking like you know
what you're doing, you know,
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and then steering a wide
enough berth until someone
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00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,635
fills in the proper blank.
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00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:14,517
Uh, which someone
eventually always does.
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00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:17,604
-But it does help when
just the right person fills
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00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:19,230
in the blanks,
correct, Lieutenant?
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-Yeah.
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00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,529
Nice.
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00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,447
-Peck.
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00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:28,782
Templeton Peck.
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00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,617
The new, uh, replacement?
103
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,786
-Oh, uh, Carla Singer,
entertainment director.
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00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,788
-Oh, well, how do you do?
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00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,790
It's very nice to meet you.
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00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:41,294
You know, I really thought I was
going to miss the boat-- ship.
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See, I was supposed to meet
you at your last port of call,
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but I was 10 minutes late.
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So I got down here
as fast as I could.
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-Right.
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00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,261
-Yes, and I'm so glad I did.
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00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,846
-Well, you must
either be the new pool
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boy or Dr. Forbes' assistant.
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[knock]
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00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:57,811
-Ah, Dr. Forbes?
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00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,896
I-- I hope I'm not interrupting.
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I'm Dr. Peck, your
new assistant.
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00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,234
-Well, they told me
I couldn't have one.
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00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,360
-Really?
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00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:08,321
Well, be that as
it may, here I am.
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00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,824
-Oh, they give you all that
crap about budgets and cutbacks.
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00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:11,825
-Ah, right.
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Right, right.
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00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,371
Ah, would you mind if I, uh--
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-No, no, no, no.
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00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,207
You might as well look the part.
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00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,959
It's about as close
to being doctors
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as we get aboard this thing.
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00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,337
-Ah.
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00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,714
-We've just dispense the
liniments for the sunburn
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and we try and assure the
people that there never
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has been a recorded case
of death by seasickness.
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00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:31,720
-Oh.
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00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,847
Well, that suits me just fine.
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00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,349
I mean, you know, after
15 operations a week,
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00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,226
some lasting eight,
ten hours, well,
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00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,602
I almost had a
nervous breakdown.
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00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,856
I was, uh-- I was
recuperating in Italy,
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00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,483
you know, and I decided to
get back into it real slow.
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00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:49,029
And then, uh, this
offer cropped up.
141
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,989
-Where did you do
your pre-med work?
142
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,615
-Uh, uh, Boston.
143
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,534
I interned at St. Francis.
144
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:55,702
-You're kidding.
145
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:57,579
Boston and St. Francis?
146
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,622
-Why, did you go there?
147
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,541
-Oh, no, no, no, no.
148
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,877
I would have liked to have
gone there when I was studying.
149
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,003
-Yeah, wonderful school.
150
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,382
-Hm.
151
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:12,302
PORTER: I still don't understand
where you're going with that.
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00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,804
FACE: I told you, I have
to be ready for, uh,
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00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,766
for when Mr. Allardyce arrives.
154
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,477
-But I don't have
a Mr. Allardyce
155
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:21,811
booked on this cruise.
156
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:23,730
-Well, if the patient--
I mean, passenger--
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00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,357
isn't booked on
this cruise, then
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00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,650
what am I doing with the
man's medical records, huh?
159
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,069
Why have they been
forwarded to me,
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00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,821
along with some rather
special medical equipment
161
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,365
to be set up in his cabin?
162
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:37,077
Now I suggest that you
do something about this,
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00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,621
especially considering the
fact that Mr. Allardyce is
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first cousin to Conrad Stevens.
165
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:44,918
-Conrad Stevens?
166
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:49,589
-Chairman of the
Carnival Cruise Line.
167
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:52,425
-Well, uh, no one has booked
any of the presidential suites.
168
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:53,718
-Hm.
169
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,429
Well, I'm sure they'll
do just-- just fine.
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00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,390
-The one on A deck, so
he doesn't have that far
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to travel to get
out for some sun.
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00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,059
-Oh, that's perfect.
173
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,602
I'll, uh, mention
your assistance
174
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:03,895
in this matter to Mr. Allardyce.
175
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:07,649
I'm sure he'll be
most appreciative.
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00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,610
[foghorn blows]
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00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,447
BA: No way.
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00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:15,532
I ain't gonna let
you take care of me.
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You're the one who's sick.
180
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,326
You can't even take
care of nothing.
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00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:21,830
-Not true, not true, not true.
182
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,499
-BA, it's your fault
that we're on this ship.
183
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:25,792
Now try and cooperate.
184
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:28,003
FACE: Now Lori, you have
the cabin next door.
185
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:28,920
There's your key.
186
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:32,382
Oh, and this is for you.
187
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,133
-A package?
188
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,884
-Mhm.
189
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,511
Yeah, they have a really nice
boutique on the upper deck.
190
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,638
Believe me, I know what
a strain kidnapping
191
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,931
can put on one's wardrobe.
192
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,391
-How thoughtful.
193
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:44,144
-Oh, it's just a
little something.
194
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:44,978
-I'll say.
195
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,564
-Mm.
196
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,442
Ah.
197
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,735
-What about us, Face?
198
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,820
-You and I'll bunk in
the crew's quarters.
199
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,488
-And you're going
to be the doctor?
200
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:56,364
-Assistant, Hannibal.
201
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,699
Doctor's assistant.
202
00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,701
-You still haven't told
me about the other job,
203
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:00,827
the one I'm stuck with.
204
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:01,661
-Haven't I?
205
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:02,996
-Face.
206
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,372
-Oh.
207
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,416
Could've sworn I
mentioned, uh-- yeah.
208
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:10,462
Well, you are going to help
out all the beautiful ladies
209
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,422
around the pool.
210
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:13,882
-You mean I'm the pool boy?
211
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,176
-Well we like to call
them pool persons.
212
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:17,594
-Oh, Face.
213
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,387
-Oh, Hannibal, I'm sorry.
214
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,473
But you know, I figured that we
only had the money for the one
215
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,934
room for Lori, so BA,
being the most conspicuous,
216
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,478
had to come in as Mr. Allardyce.
217
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,605
Now, let's see.
218
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:29,689
Oh, yeah, it's you.
219
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:32,484
You know how you love a uniform.
220
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,194
I--
221
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,695
-Well?
222
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,031
How do I look?
223
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:40,825
--[sigh] The pool, Hannibal,
it's going to be flesh, flesh,
224
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,077
and more flesh.
225
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,703
-What do you know
about being a doctor?
226
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,163
-Hannibal, please.
227
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,664
Piece of cake.
228
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,583
Besides, 90% of the
cases on board this ship
229
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,168
are nothing but
sweet young things
230
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,587
who have been too
long in the sun.
231
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:56,424
-Oh, that's just wonderful.
232
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:59,427
I could just sit here for
hours while you do that.
233
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:00,845
-Uh, yeah.
234
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:04,808
Well, look, you-- you can
take this tube with you.
235
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,976
-Oh, please don't stop.
236
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:11,106
No, you see, when you stop,
it-- it just hurts so bad.
237
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:12,857
-Ah.
238
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,527
Yeah, well, now if you just
use this stuff twice a day,
239
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,653
the, uh--
240
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,571
-The label says
three times a day.
241
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:20,073
-Ah.
242
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,574
Oh, yeah, well, they just--
they just print that stuff.
243
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:22,909
I mean, you can
use it three times
244
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,578
a day if you feel you need to.
245
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,456
Yes, make it three times a day.
246
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,166
OK, bye now.
247
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,710
-Dr. Peck?
248
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,920
Um, my assistant will
be with you momentarily.
249
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,797
Mr. Liebowitz here
needs a colonic.
250
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,757
Could you take care
of him, please?
251
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:38,633
-Ah.
252
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,635
Uh, a colonic.
253
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,012
[horn blares]
254
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,638
Will you excuse me a minute?
255
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,650
Yeah, believe it or
not, I would have rather
256
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,366
Hey, who loves you, baby?
257
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:45,200
-Tony?
258
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,618
-Yeah.
259
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,869
-Here's the list of
anniversaries and birthdays
260
00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:48,953
for this evening's show.
261
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,497
-OK.
262
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,874
-And Mrs. Petrie would like
you to come over and present
263
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:54,542
an autographed album
to Aunt Gretel.
264
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:55,960
-Sure.
265
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,253
Any time I can put
a little sunshine
266
00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:59,506
into the life of the
little people, you know?
267
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:04,010
Carla, honey, what do I have to
give you to get a little kiss?
268
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:04,969
-Chloroform.
269
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,888
-Ooh!
270
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:07,555
-Ah, Carla.
271
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:08,306
-Oh, hi.
272
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,349
-Hi.
273
00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:10,433
Look, I'm sorry to interrupt--
274
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:11,434
-Well, then why are you?
275
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,435
-Be nice, Johnny.
276
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,561
-Right.
277
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:16,481
Especially to the
less fortunate?
278
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,567
-Templeton Peck,
this is Johnny Angel.
279
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:20,402
FACE: Johnny Angel.
280
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,028
Oh, I like it.
281
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,405
-Yeah, most people do.
282
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:26,533
-Uh, look, Carla, I was--
I was just wondering,
283
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,202
I saw a motor launch let
some people off on the boat?
284
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,621
-Yes, a Mr. Scarlatti
and his party.
285
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:33,289
-Mr. Scarlatti?
286
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,417
-Yes, I guess they missed
the boat back at Palermo,
287
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,544
so the captain sent a motor
launch to bring him out.
288
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,045
-Ah.
289
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,339
-He's in the presidential
suite on C deck.
290
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,340
-Oh, thanks.
291
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,553
-Why do you look
at him like that?
292
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,595
What is he?
293
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:50,557
-Cute.
294
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:54,185
[laughs]
295
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,271
-Hey, baby, come
win the taste test.
296
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,735
-Someone had to have seen.
297
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:04,320
If not the girl, then
one of those four
298
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,031
scungills who grabbed her.
299
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,074
-I'll check with
the purser's office,
300
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:10,702
find out about the passengers
who got on board at Palermo.
301
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,288
-I just want to know
they're on board.
302
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:17,500
If they're here, then she's
here, and I want her dead.
303
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,170
If I have to, I'll blow
up the whole damn ship.
304
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,213
I've got less than 24 hours.
305
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,175
I promise each and
every one here,
306
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:29,429
my brother gets convicted, I cut
your hearts out and mail them
307
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:30,597
to him.
308
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:33,641
Now find that
girl, and kill her.
309
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:38,146
-Yeah.
310
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,064
Subito.
311
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,342
-Ah.
312
00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:53,513
-How did you get in here?
313
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:54,556
FACE: Oh, I'm sorry.
314
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,141
I-- I was looking for, uh, C-61.
315
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,520
Would you look there?
316
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:01,521
E-61.
317
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:02,522
I'm on the wrong deck.
318
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,482
I-- I-- uh, ship's doctor.
319
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,153
I, uh, somebody reported a
very bad case of seasickness,
320
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,113
so I'll just--
321
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:12,532
-Do I look seasick
to you, Doctor?
322
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,075
-Uh, no, no.
323
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:16,786
Actually, you look, uh-- yeah.
324
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:22,375
Well, perhaps you could take
a very deep breath and--
325
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:23,251
-Mm!
326
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:31,176
-I'm sorry.
327
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,218
Look, I can explain.
328
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:32,886
It's just that--
329
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,888
-Oh, I understand.
330
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:35,847
-You do?
331
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:36,765
-It happens wherever I go.
332
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,266
-Ahh.
333
00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:39,809
-Men just can't seem
to stay away from me.
334
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,436
-That must be a terrible burden.
335
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:43,730
-Oh, especially with my
boyfriend being so jealous.
336
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,482
-Ah, yes.
337
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:49,235
Well, I-- I-- I do recall having
to tell someone something.
338
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:50,653
Um, uh--
339
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,530
-You know, Bull does his
laps every day until 3:00.
340
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,782
-Bull?
341
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,450
-That's just what
his friends call him.
342
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:56,743
Arnold Bulansky's his name.
343
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:57,494
-Oh.
344
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:58,203
-Bull for short.
345
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,371
-I see.
346
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,622
For a minute there,
I thought it was
347
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:04,668
because he was, uh,
you know, uh, built.
348
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,504
Ah, yes, until 3:00, huh?
349
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,255
Right.
350
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:14,469
Well, I really do have to tell
someone something very, very
351
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,595
important.
352
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:16,471
Mm.
353
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:20,392
Aaah!
354
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,226
-Kitty!
355
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,268
-Oh, thank god.
356
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,395
Quick, quick, quick, some water!
357
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,604
-What are you doing?
358
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:25,480
-Ahh!
359
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,273
Oh!
What am I doing?
360
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:28,441
What do you think I'm doing?
I'm trying to bring her around.
361
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:29,192
-Oh!
-Now quick, the water-- move!
362
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:29,859
-Ow.
363
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:34,656
-Hey!
364
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:35,490
The water.
365
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,409
-Oh, thanks.
366
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,868
Here, maybe you better sit up.
Easy.
367
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:39,744
Easy.
368
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:45,917
Sip it, nice and slow.
369
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:46,876
There you go.
370
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:48,211
Would you-- thanks.
371
00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:49,879
Now could you just lie back?
372
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:52,257
There you go.
373
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:55,427
Oh, boy, oh, boy, your pulse
feels like a trip hammer!
374
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,594
-No kidding.
375
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,554
-What happened, honey?
376
00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,431
-Oh, Bull, I don't know.
377
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,475
-Oh, well, I just-- I just found
her lying on the floor there.
378
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:04,227
I mean, luckily I was
on the wrong deck.
379
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:08,773
You know, someone reported a
very bad case of halitosis.
380
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:11,526
So I, uh, I came
to the wrong deck,
381
00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:14,529
and I just happened
to spot Miss-- Miss--
382
00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:15,655
-Tremaine.
383
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:16,948
-Yes, Tremaine.
384
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,825
Oh, but of course
you-- yeah, anyway, I
385
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:21,870
don't think you've hit your
head or sustained a concussion
386
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,788
or anything, but
I just suggest you
387
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:27,834
take it easy for a day or
two, and you know, don't push.
388
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:28,960
-So what caused this?
389
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,337
Maybe she's ill.
390
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:31,671
-Oh, no, no, no.
391
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:34,549
It's just your typical
case of, uh, anatonia,
392
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,718
caused by a shift in the
currents in lower latitudes.
393
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,679
Perhaps you've been experiencing
some of these symptoms?
394
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:40,513
Aaah!
395
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:41,348
Ah!
396
00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:42,474
Ah.
397
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,933
-I'm as fit as a horse.
398
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,643
-Ah, yeah, course you are.
399
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,312
-Oh!
400
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,563
-I've been telling you to
stay more in shape, babe.
401
00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:51,358
-Is there anything else
that I need, Doctor?
402
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,859
-Uh, well, yes, I
think you should
403
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:55,695
take a nap in
afternoons-- you know,
404
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:58,239
whenever you feel the, uh, need?
405
00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:06,915
[screaming]
406
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:07,957
[splash]
407
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:24,391
[screaming]
408
00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:25,850
[splash]
409
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,560
-Now, anything you ladies need?
410
00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:30,355
Towels, suntan lotion?
411
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:31,481
Suntan lotion application?
412
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:32,399
JOHNNY: Yo, boy!
413
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,900
Where's that towel, huh?
414
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:37,779
-As I said, anything you need,
feel free to call upon me.
415
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:40,407
JOHNNY: What are you doing,
knitting the lousy thing?
416
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:41,366
-Excuse me.
417
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:42,659
JOHNNY: Where's the drink?
418
00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:46,788
I ordered another drink
over 10 minutes ago.
419
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,623
-Johnny, did anyone
ever tell you
420
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:51,084
that you've got one
set of lousy manners?
421
00:20:51,126 --> 00:20:52,919
-Certainly not a
towel boy, and nobody
422
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:56,423
calls me Johnny
without my say-so.
423
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:59,384
Hey, and she can have my say-so.
424
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:00,677
Let me tell you
something-- but I
425
00:21:00,719 --> 00:21:02,303
like to let the
little people off
426
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:03,972
with the first
offense, especially
427
00:21:04,014 --> 00:21:05,932
when they're my namesake.
428
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:07,892
But next time, you'll be
paddling back to Capri
429
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,519
on a rubber horsey.
430
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:13,857
So get me that towel and
find me that cold drink.
431
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:16,943
And maybe if you bring
around a date after my show,
432
00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:18,862
I'll mention your
name on the mic.
433
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:20,530
See, it guarantees
extra tips when
434
00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:22,323
you're tight with the Angel.
435
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,668
-You know, Face, I really
like this job you got me,
436
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:35,462
but I may have go
the lounge soon,
437
00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:39,466
because that guy Angel is
going fishing very shortly.
438
00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:40,633
-Uh, ix-nay that, Hannibal.
439
00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:42,135
We got real trouble.
440
00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:44,471
-That launch that took off
from the side of the ship?
441
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:46,931
-Right, and left the entire case
of "The Cotton Club" behind.
442
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:48,058
-We better get out of sight.
443
00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:48,975
-Yeah.
444
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:50,602
I'll get BA and Murdock.
445
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:53,563
See if you can spring
Lori from, uh, Jaws.
446
00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:54,689
-Yeah, uh.
447
00:21:54,731 --> 00:21:55,607
-Say cheeks.
448
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:56,858
All right, here we go.
449
00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:01,446
-You, uh, you better
get below deck.
450
00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:03,031
-What's going on?
451
00:22:03,073 --> 00:22:04,074
-Hey, Kildare, why don't you go
peddle your aspirins elsewhere?
452
00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:05,867
-Now, you better get below-deck.
453
00:22:05,909 --> 00:22:08,912
You see, you're-- yeah, you're
absolutely H-positive skin
454
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:09,746
type.
455
00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:12,665
Now, now.
456
00:22:12,707 --> 00:22:14,000
I'll stop by with the liniment.
457
00:22:14,042 --> 00:22:16,169
-Hey, uh, what cabin can
I deliver the photos to?
458
00:22:16,211 --> 00:22:17,545
-Oh, that's all right.
459
00:22:17,587 --> 00:22:18,546
I'll see that she gets it.
-Liniment?
460
00:22:18,588 --> 00:22:19,839
-Yeah.
461
00:22:19,881 --> 00:22:21,633
-Where do you guys come
up with these raps?
462
00:22:21,675 --> 00:22:23,677
-Ah, well, you pick it up in
very short order around here.
463
00:22:23,718 --> 00:22:24,844
[laughs]
-Say cheeks.
464
00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:25,720
[click]
465
00:22:31,893 --> 00:22:32,811
-Yahoo!
466
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,604
All right, all right!
467
00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:37,482
That's a definite upward trend
for members of the black team.
468
00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:38,858
-I want to get out
of here, Murdock.
469
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:40,151
-All right, BA, just cool it.
470
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:42,153
This is all part
of the disguise.
471
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:45,949
I mean, old crotchety people,
they love to play shuffleboard!
472
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:47,701
-I said I want to go downstairs.
473
00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:49,452
I want to go to my cabin.
474
00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:51,830
-All right, well, you just can't
get up and walk, all right?
475
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,123
You're going to have
to sit down and you're
476
00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:54,708
going to have to enjoy
this game of skill.
477
00:22:54,749 --> 00:22:56,126
-I want to go down!
478
00:22:56,167 --> 00:22:58,712
-Well, you can't, not
until your nurse-- and that
479
00:22:58,753 --> 00:23:01,423
is moi-- says you can.
480
00:23:01,464 --> 00:23:02,882
Aaah.
481
00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:04,676
BA: (SHOUTING) You're gonna
take me downstairs now,
482
00:23:04,718 --> 00:23:06,428
or I'm gonna give you the worst
case of ring-around-the-collar
483
00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:07,762
you ever saw!
484
00:23:07,804 --> 00:23:09,806
-BA, put Murdock down,
get back in your chair,
485
00:23:09,848 --> 00:23:11,766
and meet me in your
cabin right away.
486
00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:14,811
MURDOCK: [panting] Not bad.
487
00:23:14,853 --> 00:23:17,063
Especially when you put my
neck in the U of that hook!
488
00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:18,773
Well, I was just
trying to teach you
489
00:23:18,815 --> 00:23:20,567
how to have a good time when
you grow up to be old lady.
490
00:23:20,608 --> 00:23:22,569
Because make no doubt
about it, when you're 45,
491
00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:24,696
you're gonna be wearing
a dress, and ain't
492
00:23:24,738 --> 00:23:26,072
nobody gonna want
to dance with you!
493
00:23:26,114 --> 00:23:28,450
-Are you absolutely sure
that it's Scarlatti?
494
00:23:28,491 --> 00:23:31,161
-Well, some faces make an
indelible impression, you know?
495
00:23:31,202 --> 00:23:33,121
Especially when you see
them for the first time
496
00:23:33,163 --> 00:23:35,040
over the barrel
of a machine gun.
497
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:36,624
-How many men did
he have with him?
498
00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:38,168
FACE: It was like the
Volkswagen at the circus.
499
00:23:38,209 --> 00:23:41,046
Guys just kept coming out,
each one bigger than the next.
500
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:43,214
I ran into four of them just
trying to find you guys.
501
00:23:43,256 --> 00:23:46,760
-The first thing they'll do
is check the ship's registry,
502
00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:50,555
find out how many cabins we took
after we sailed from Palermo.
503
00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:52,098
Lori, don't go
back to your cabin.
504
00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:52,932
Stay here.
505
00:23:52,974 --> 00:23:54,225
BA: Stay here?
506
00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:56,102
Oh, Hannibal, we all
can't stay cooped up
507
00:23:56,144 --> 00:23:57,937
in the same cabin for two weeks.
508
00:23:57,979 --> 00:24:00,899
-BA, there are more of
them than there are of us.
509
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:03,109
Besides, we don't have any
weapons that we can conceal.
510
00:24:03,151 --> 00:24:05,028
-Yeah, we'll have to
thin them out a little.
511
00:24:05,070 --> 00:24:06,154
LORI: I don't understand.
512
00:24:06,196 --> 00:24:07,906
I mean, if there's
so many of them,
513
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:10,033
what can you do if
they're all armed?
514
00:24:10,075 --> 00:24:11,159
-Cut down the odds.
515
00:24:11,201 --> 00:24:12,869
Take some of the other side out.
516
00:24:12,911 --> 00:24:15,038
We'll run across a couple
of guns along the way.
517
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:16,623
-We start roaming
around this ship,
518
00:24:16,664 --> 00:24:17,832
they're gonna recognize us.
519
00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:22,545
-We could all move
around freely if, uh--
520
00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:24,089
if we were all in disguise.
521
00:24:29,386 --> 00:24:30,595
-Mhm.
522
00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:32,347
Everybody who's come
to see me-- which
523
00:24:32,389 --> 00:24:35,809
is about half the people on
this boat-- uh, ship-- has said,
524
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:37,102
what about a costume party?
525
00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:38,520
So--
526
00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:41,231
-I-- I've been a cruise
director for four years now,
527
00:24:41,272 --> 00:24:42,941
and I've never heard
of a costume party.
528
00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:43,983
-Really?
529
00:24:44,025 --> 00:24:45,318
-They went out with hula hoops.
530
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:46,986
-Yeah, well, half the
people on this cruise
531
00:24:47,028 --> 00:24:48,613
went out with hula
hoops, you know.
532
00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:51,116
Yeah, that's the trouble
with cruises today.
533
00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:53,868
I mean, why get rid of
a good thing, you know?
534
00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:56,037
-I can't believe that many
people asked about one.
535
00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:57,539
-Oh, are you kidding?
Oh, sure.
536
00:24:57,580 --> 00:24:59,958
I mean, all kinds of people
have been coming up to me.
537
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,543
You see-- you see,
the best costume
538
00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:03,878
gets to sit at the
Captain's Table for dinner.
539
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,130
It's an old custom.
540
00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:06,631
I'm surprised you
haven't heard of it.
541
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:08,633
It's-- yeah, even the
captain was saying to me--
542
00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:09,259
-The captain?
543
00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:10,301
-Yeah.
544
00:25:10,343 --> 00:25:12,012
By the way, I love this scarf.
545
00:25:12,053 --> 00:25:15,598
Yeah, I was giving the captain
a shot in his cabin, B-12.
546
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,435
And he was saying how much he
missed the good old days, see?
547
00:25:18,476 --> 00:25:19,644
So I said--
548
00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:21,062
-No costume party
was mentioned when
549
00:25:21,104 --> 00:25:22,313
people signed up for the cruise.
550
00:25:22,355 --> 00:25:23,314
-Yeah, but--
551
00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:24,357
-No one has any costumes.
552
00:25:24,399 --> 00:25:25,900
-Ah, that's half the fun of it.
553
00:25:25,942 --> 00:25:27,444
You get to create
your own costume,
554
00:25:27,485 --> 00:25:29,070
and-- you really don't know
anything about this, do you?
555
00:25:29,112 --> 00:25:29,904
That's amazing.
556
00:25:29,946 --> 00:25:31,239
I--
557
00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:33,533
-Are you trying to do my
job for me or something?
558
00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:34,534
-Oh, no, no, no, please--
559
00:25:34,576 --> 00:25:35,410
-No?
560
00:25:35,452 --> 00:25:37,454
-No, I-- uh-- hmm.
561
00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:43,293
-That doctor, he
gets more action.
562
00:25:49,049 --> 00:25:51,593
-Uh, um, look, I'm-- I'm sorry.
563
00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:53,511
I'm-- I don't know
what came over me.
564
00:25:53,553 --> 00:25:55,930
I just--
565
00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:58,016
-You've never done
anything like that before.
566
00:25:58,058 --> 00:25:58,933
-No, no!
567
00:25:58,975 --> 00:25:59,351
I--
568
00:25:59,392 --> 00:26:00,477
-No.
569
00:26:00,518 --> 00:26:01,186
-It's, uh, kind of
hard to explain.
570
00:26:01,227 --> 00:26:02,103
See, I'm--
571
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:03,980
-A costume party, huh?
572
00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:04,606
-Yeah.
573
00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:05,231
Yeah.
574
00:26:05,273 --> 00:26:06,066
-Yeah?
575
00:26:26,127 --> 00:26:27,379
-Come on.
576
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:29,089
-Shut up, fool!
577
00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:30,215
-Please, BA?
578
00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:31,216
Please?
579
00:26:31,257 --> 00:26:33,968
BA: I said no, and no is no.
580
00:26:34,010 --> 00:26:35,679
-What's going on?
581
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,138
-Well, I have nothing to wear.
582
00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:38,723
I mean, I have absolutely
nothing to wear.
583
00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:41,226
I asked him if I could borrow
those delicious feathered
584
00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:42,644
earrings.
585
00:26:42,686 --> 00:26:44,104
I mean, he's not even
going to that party today,
586
00:26:44,145 --> 00:26:44,979
and he said no.
587
00:26:45,021 --> 00:26:46,147
Do you know why?
588
00:26:46,189 --> 00:26:48,441
Because he is
jealous, that's why.
589
00:26:48,483 --> 00:26:50,110
Because I'll get a date.
590
00:26:50,151 --> 00:26:51,695
Perhaps I will be
the first to marry,
591
00:26:51,736 --> 00:26:55,448
and mine will be the firstborn
male child on the A-Team.
592
00:26:55,490 --> 00:26:58,034
And he just couldn't
have that, could he?
593
00:26:58,076 --> 00:27:01,413
FACE: Little tuck here
and there, you know?
594
00:27:01,454 --> 00:27:02,664
A-ha.
595
00:27:02,706 --> 00:27:05,041
Gold braid, hm?
596
00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:06,501
On the shoulder?
597
00:27:06,543 --> 00:27:11,047
Toy sword, and voila--
"Charge of the Light Brigade."
598
00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:12,382
-Well, that's in then.
599
00:27:12,424 --> 00:27:13,425
I mean, that's it.
600
00:27:13,466 --> 00:27:15,093
All the good costumes are gone.
601
00:27:15,135 --> 00:27:16,720
Where does that leave me then?
602
00:27:16,761 --> 00:27:20,056
-Hey, you can sit on Face's
lap and go as Jerry Mahoney!
603
00:27:20,098 --> 00:27:21,433
Hee hee!
604
00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:24,561
-Don't you talk to me, Mr.
Won't Lend His Earrings.
605
00:27:24,602 --> 00:27:28,273
[snickers]
606
00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:29,149
-Hm?
607
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,079
JOHNNY: Gonna keep everybody
having a good time, happy all
608
00:27:43,121 --> 00:27:44,456
over this ship.
609
00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:45,790
[passengers cheer]
610
00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:47,500
-Hey, Tony, why don't
you check up there?
611
00:27:51,129 --> 00:27:53,673
JOHNNY: A nice round of
applause, ladies and gentlemen,
612
00:27:53,715 --> 00:27:55,300
for our M&M Twins.
613
00:27:55,342 --> 00:27:57,677
Let's here it,
ladies and gentlemen!
614
00:27:57,719 --> 00:27:59,304
MURDOCK:
[singing along to music]
615
00:27:59,346 --> 00:28:01,639
Cheese, cheese, cheese is
what I love so won't you
616
00:28:01,681 --> 00:28:06,644
please, please, let's
forget about the condiments,
617
00:28:06,686 --> 00:28:09,272
the bread, the soup.
618
00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:12,650
Cheese is what I love
so won't you please?
619
00:28:12,692 --> 00:28:16,237
Oh, wow, my, my!
620
00:28:16,279 --> 00:28:18,656
How inventive!
621
00:28:18,698 --> 00:28:21,743
I mean, I just can't
get over the cleverness,
622
00:28:21,785 --> 00:28:24,245
the ingenuity of it.
623
00:28:24,287 --> 00:28:27,499
You are definitely gonna
win today's contest.
624
00:28:27,540 --> 00:28:32,545
You are the best-dressed
Bowery bum I've ever seen.
625
00:28:32,587 --> 00:28:34,464
-You have a problem, buddy?
626
00:28:34,506 --> 00:28:36,800
--[giggles] I'm just
a little giddy.
627
00:28:36,841 --> 00:28:38,802
Everything is so
refreshing here.
628
00:28:38,843 --> 00:28:40,428
You want some punch?
629
00:28:49,396 --> 00:28:50,730
-I got him.
630
00:28:58,321 --> 00:28:59,280
No weapons, Murdock?
631
00:28:59,322 --> 00:29:01,658
-You looking for these?
632
00:29:01,700 --> 00:29:03,702
-Oh.
633
00:29:03,743 --> 00:29:05,537
Nice.
634
00:29:05,578 --> 00:29:07,539
Now we need something
for the rest of you guys.
635
00:29:07,580 --> 00:29:12,127
-I shall be back by
the stroke of midnight.
636
00:29:12,168 --> 00:29:15,380
Or sooner, if they run
out of finger sandwiches.
637
00:29:15,422 --> 00:29:17,674
[evil laugh]
638
00:29:17,716 --> 00:29:21,219
-Man is not long for
this world, Hannibal.
639
00:29:21,261 --> 00:29:24,472
-I'm not sure he was ever in it.
640
00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:28,560
Is everybody having a good time?
641
00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:29,561
Yeah, all right!
642
00:29:29,602 --> 00:29:30,895
Come on, you folks.
643
00:29:30,937 --> 00:29:32,689
You folks are having a
good time, aren't you?
644
00:29:32,731 --> 00:29:33,898
Yeah!
645
00:29:33,940 --> 00:29:35,942
Let's have a nice
hand for this guy.
646
00:29:35,984 --> 00:29:37,277
Yeah, yeah!
647
00:29:37,318 --> 00:29:39,529
Take a little bow
and then split.
648
00:29:39,571 --> 00:29:44,909
And now let's continue dancing
to the music of Caravese!
649
00:29:44,951 --> 00:29:46,494
Carla!
650
00:29:46,536 --> 00:29:47,912
Carla.
651
00:29:47,954 --> 00:29:49,998
This was a brilliant idea.
652
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,542
With all the cruise directors
that I've worked with before,
653
00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:54,919
I was wondering who was gonna
pull this one out of the trunk
654
00:29:54,961 --> 00:29:56,338
and dust it off.
655
00:29:56,379 --> 00:29:57,881
You really are special.
656
00:29:57,922 --> 00:29:59,382
Like me.
657
00:29:59,424 --> 00:30:01,009
So I was thinking that
two special people--
658
00:30:01,051 --> 00:30:02,010
-Is one too many.
659
00:30:02,052 --> 00:30:02,886
-Yeah.
660
00:30:06,056 --> 00:30:09,517
-So, uh, Johnny, you like
the costume party, huh?
661
00:30:09,559 --> 00:30:11,561
-It's a real dipstick idea.
662
00:30:11,603 --> 00:30:14,397
A bunch of grownups running
around, dressed for Halloween?
663
00:30:14,439 --> 00:30:15,565
-Well, I--
664
00:30:15,607 --> 00:30:16,733
-I mean, there's
something unnaturally.
665
00:30:16,775 --> 00:30:17,984
I mean, what do you call this?
666
00:30:18,026 --> 00:30:19,903
I'm a class act,
direct from Vegas.
667
00:30:19,944 --> 00:30:22,030
Did you see the card out front?
668
00:30:22,072 --> 00:30:25,283
It says, "Johnny Angel,
The King of Croon."
669
00:30:25,325 --> 00:30:27,994
Right about now, I'd be
into the Sinatra set,
670
00:30:28,036 --> 00:30:30,330
doing "Strangers in the
Night" or "My Way"--
671
00:30:30,372 --> 00:30:32,582
which is Ol' Blue Eyes'
favorite, the way I do it.
672
00:30:32,624 --> 00:30:34,751
I end the show off
with some "Volare,"
673
00:30:34,793 --> 00:30:36,920
which usually brings
the house down.
674
00:30:36,961 --> 00:30:39,381
I'm out here playing Monty
Hall to a couple of cucumber
675
00:30:39,422 --> 00:30:41,341
sandwiches from Keokuk Falls!
676
00:30:41,383 --> 00:30:42,592
-Well, hang in there, Johnny.
677
00:30:42,634 --> 00:30:43,802
Remember, it's all in good fun.
678
00:30:43,843 --> 00:30:46,054
And, uh, I hear you're
into having fun.
679
00:30:49,641 --> 00:30:50,475
[singing] Volare!
680
00:31:04,739 --> 00:31:05,824
-What do you say?
681
00:31:05,865 --> 00:31:08,076
I'm the ghost of
Christmas future.
682
00:31:08,118 --> 00:31:11,037
-You see what happened to
the guy who was with me?
683
00:31:11,079 --> 00:31:12,664
-Too much punch.
684
00:31:23,550 --> 00:31:25,468
CARLA: Everyone's
having a good time.
685
00:31:25,510 --> 00:31:27,470
I never would have believed it.
686
00:31:30,432 --> 00:31:31,433
-Me either.
687
00:31:39,399 --> 00:31:41,818
BA: Got two .25 automatic,
Hannibal, and one extra clip.
688
00:31:41,860 --> 00:31:46,740
-With this P38 and what Face can
get us, we should be all right.
689
00:31:46,781 --> 00:31:48,158
We gotta find him.
690
00:31:48,199 --> 00:31:49,659
I'll take the upper deck.
691
00:31:49,701 --> 00:31:50,660
-I'll check it out if
you'd like, Colonel.
692
00:31:50,702 --> 00:31:51,911
It's a heck of a party.
693
00:31:51,953 --> 00:31:53,663
You ought to check
it out too, BA.
694
00:31:53,705 --> 00:31:54,664
I'll lend you my sheet.
695
00:31:57,625 --> 00:31:59,002
-Everybody having a good time?
696
00:31:59,044 --> 00:32:01,004
Ha ha!
697
00:32:01,046 --> 00:32:02,630
You got it!
698
00:32:36,539 --> 00:32:37,624
-How about a little dance?
699
00:32:37,665 --> 00:32:38,458
-Oh!
700
00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:39,084
Oh.
701
00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:40,460
Well, uh--
702
00:32:40,502 --> 00:32:41,795
-Oh, come on.
703
00:32:41,836 --> 00:32:44,047
-Look, I, uh-- I have
a patient in traction
704
00:32:44,089 --> 00:32:45,590
that I have to look in on.
705
00:32:45,632 --> 00:32:46,466
Really!
706
00:33:03,817 --> 00:33:06,069
Uh, Kitty, what-- what-- what--
707
00:33:06,111 --> 00:33:07,904
-Oh, Doctor, I'm
feeling sick again.
708
00:33:07,946 --> 00:33:09,614
I think I need mouth-to-mouth.
709
00:33:09,656 --> 00:33:11,950
-Uh, yeah, look, I really do
have a patient in traction
710
00:33:11,991 --> 00:33:13,034
that I have to look in on.
711
00:33:13,076 --> 00:33:13,910
-He's in traction.
712
00:33:13,952 --> 00:33:14,869
He's not going anywhere.
713
00:33:14,911 --> 00:33:15,787
-Yeah, well--
714
00:33:15,829 --> 00:33:17,080
-I knew it!
715
00:33:17,122 --> 00:33:18,915
-How dare you!
716
00:33:18,957 --> 00:33:20,625
-Ahh!
717
00:33:20,667 --> 00:33:21,501
-I knew it!
718
00:33:32,804 --> 00:33:34,097
-What did you do to him?
719
00:33:34,139 --> 00:33:35,598
-What do you mean, what do I do?
720
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,600
He tried to kill me,
for crying out loud.
721
00:33:37,642 --> 00:33:38,935
-He was trying to protect me!
722
00:33:38,977 --> 00:33:39,978
-You're right.
723
00:33:43,565 --> 00:33:44,524
Heh.
724
00:33:44,566 --> 00:33:45,525
No mask.
725
00:33:57,996 --> 00:33:58,788
A-ha!
726
00:33:58,830 --> 00:33:59,664
Haha!
727
00:34:04,919 --> 00:34:05,754
Unh!
728
00:34:13,094 --> 00:34:16,181
-Put him down, pal!
729
00:34:16,222 --> 00:34:18,808
Oh.
730
00:34:18,850 --> 00:34:20,226
[splash]
731
00:34:37,202 --> 00:34:39,788
--[panting] Oh,
how very charming.
732
00:34:44,334 --> 00:34:45,293
-That's her.
733
00:34:45,335 --> 00:34:46,711
-Si.
734
00:34:46,753 --> 00:34:48,004
-What do you call this?
735
00:34:48,046 --> 00:34:49,673
What are you guys
doing in my room?
736
00:34:49,714 --> 00:34:51,716
-That's a very pretty girl.
737
00:34:51,758 --> 00:34:53,843
And obviously a good
friend of yours.
738
00:34:53,885 --> 00:34:55,887
-All pretty girls are
good friends of mine.
739
00:34:55,929 --> 00:34:57,013
But that still
don't give you guys
740
00:34:57,055 --> 00:34:58,264
the right to break into my room.
741
00:34:58,306 --> 00:34:59,974
-Perhaps this does, hm?
742
00:35:00,016 --> 00:35:02,686
-What, is everybody
around here going crazy?
743
00:35:02,727 --> 00:35:04,312
You guys know who
you're messing with?
744
00:35:04,354 --> 00:35:07,023
I open for Ol' Blue Eyes
when he plays Tahoe.
745
00:35:07,065 --> 00:35:08,733
What-- wait-- wait a minute!
746
00:35:08,775 --> 00:35:09,776
-Where is she?
747
00:35:16,408 --> 00:35:17,826
-Now get hold of the captain.
748
00:35:17,867 --> 00:35:18,993
Tell them to get the
authorities out here
749
00:35:19,035 --> 00:35:19,953
to arrest these jokers.
750
00:35:19,994 --> 00:35:20,954
-Oh, my baby!
751
00:35:20,995 --> 00:35:23,581
-He'll be fine, believe me.
752
00:35:23,623 --> 00:35:24,916
-Here's a little
present for you.
753
00:35:24,958 --> 00:35:27,210
See that fish you caught
don't have any scales.
754
00:35:27,252 --> 00:35:28,211
-Haha.
755
00:35:28,253 --> 00:35:30,630
-Have a nice swim, Lieutenant?
756
00:35:30,672 --> 00:35:33,049
Now we've got everybody except
Scarlatti and his lieutenant,
757
00:35:33,091 --> 00:35:33,967
right?
758
00:35:34,009 --> 00:35:34,926
-Right.
759
00:35:34,968 --> 00:35:38,847
-Let's go get 'em.
760
00:35:38,888 --> 00:35:42,726
[passengers scream]
761
00:35:42,767 --> 00:35:43,727
[screams]
762
00:35:43,768 --> 00:35:47,022
[gunfire]
763
00:35:47,063 --> 00:35:48,732
-Drop your weapons, now!
764
00:35:48,773 --> 00:35:49,357
LORI: Oh!
765
00:35:49,399 --> 00:35:51,109
Oh!
766
00:35:51,151 --> 00:35:53,403
-I think we have a first prize
winner here-- best gangster.
767
00:35:53,445 --> 00:35:55,363
[gunfire]
768
00:35:55,405 --> 00:35:56,906
[screaming]
769
00:35:56,948 --> 00:35:58,616
-Now!
770
00:35:58,658 --> 00:36:02,412
Or we send this little girl
home to Papa in a shoebox!
771
00:36:02,454 --> 00:36:04,622
-Too many innocent bystanders.
772
00:36:04,664 --> 00:36:06,332
It's his call, guys.
773
00:36:15,216 --> 00:36:17,594
calling the Italian Coast
Guard Station at Palermo.
774
00:36:17,635 --> 00:36:19,679
The ship is under siege.
775
00:36:19,721 --> 00:36:21,264
Armed gunmen are
aboard the ship.
776
00:36:21,306 --> 00:36:24,100
We are 38 degrees,
28.10 minutes north
777
00:36:24,142 --> 00:36:26,686
and 9 degrees
06.30 minutes east.
778
00:36:26,728 --> 00:36:27,896
We need immediate assistance!
779
00:36:35,153 --> 00:36:37,697
[screaming and shouting]
780
00:36:37,739 --> 00:36:38,656
-Keep it moving.
781
00:36:38,698 --> 00:36:39,699
Let's go.
782
00:36:57,258 --> 00:37:01,012
Now remember, anybody
who sticks their nose out
783
00:37:01,054 --> 00:37:03,139
gets it shot off, hm?
784
00:37:14,401 --> 00:37:16,236
Mr. Scarlatti,
everything's under control.
785
00:37:16,277 --> 00:37:17,737
-Get the captain's
launch lowered.
786
00:37:17,779 --> 00:37:23,326
Bernie, Rico, you take
care of these gentleman.
787
00:37:23,368 --> 00:37:25,745
-Come on, let's go.
788
00:37:25,787 --> 00:37:27,414
LORI: What do you want?
789
00:37:27,455 --> 00:37:30,792
-You and I have some business
to discuss, family business.
790
00:37:30,834 --> 00:37:32,711
My brother and your father.
791
00:37:49,853 --> 00:37:50,812
-No, wait!
792
00:37:50,854 --> 00:37:51,813
Help!
793
00:37:51,855 --> 00:37:52,981
Hey, guys!
794
00:37:53,023 --> 00:37:53,898
Murdock!
795
00:37:53,940 --> 00:37:54,733
Aaah!
796
00:37:54,774 --> 00:37:58,903
I
797
00:37:58,945 --> 00:38:00,238
[thud]
798
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:01,656
It's all right, I got it!
799
00:38:22,385 --> 00:38:26,014
-Please-- please
don't hurt my friends.
800
00:38:38,985 --> 00:38:41,946
I'll do anything,
anything you want.
801
00:38:41,988 --> 00:38:43,198
-Of course you will.
802
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,367
Of course you'll
do anything I want.
803
00:38:45,408 --> 00:38:47,327
Realize what kind
of difficulties
804
00:38:47,369 --> 00:38:48,203
you put me through?
805
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,093
Don't you realize it's too late?
806
00:39:03,134 --> 00:39:04,427
Huh?
807
00:39:04,469 --> 00:39:06,805
You're worried about
hurting people?
808
00:39:06,846 --> 00:39:10,016
Why you take me around the
floor with this tarantella?
809
00:39:10,058 --> 00:39:13,311
Now I gotta blow up this ship
with all of these witnesses.
810
00:39:13,353 --> 00:39:15,980
-God, no, not all
these innocent people.
811
00:39:16,022 --> 00:39:17,399
-Life can be unfair, no?
812
00:39:20,568 --> 00:39:23,530
But what we gotta do
is call up your father.
813
00:39:23,571 --> 00:39:26,991
You tell him what I
say you to tell him,
814
00:39:27,033 --> 00:39:30,954
or things'll go from bad
to worse in no time at all.
815
00:39:41,381 --> 00:39:44,342
[glass breaking]
816
00:40:16,916 --> 00:40:19,919
[gold necklaces jangling]
817
00:40:50,867 --> 00:40:51,826
-Go!
818
00:40:51,868 --> 00:40:52,827
Pull back!
819
00:40:52,869 --> 00:40:54,245
Come on now!
820
00:41:15,642 --> 00:41:18,186
-We need that chopper, Captain.
821
00:41:18,228 --> 00:41:20,605
What do you say?
822
00:41:20,647 --> 00:41:22,190
-[delighted laugh]
823
00:41:31,199 --> 00:41:33,201
[splash]
824
00:41:41,209 --> 00:41:43,336
PASSENGER: Oh!
825
00:41:43,378 --> 00:41:44,212
-Oh!
826
00:41:50,176 --> 00:41:56,141
-Do you want to see why we
just swam 200 yards to get you?
827
00:41:56,182 --> 00:41:58,518
Look at this!
828
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,186
[splash]
829
00:42:17,537 --> 00:42:23,084
[bullets ricocheting]
830
00:42:23,126 --> 00:42:29,132
[machine-gun fire]
831
00:42:32,093 --> 00:42:35,096
[bullets ricocheting]
832
00:42:44,272 --> 00:42:45,106
-Aaah!
833
00:42:56,618 --> 00:42:57,494
-Yeah!
834
00:43:03,166 --> 00:43:05,043
[singing operatically]
Smash him, thrash him,
835
00:43:05,085 --> 00:43:06,419
throw him on the floor.
836
00:43:06,461 --> 00:43:09,422
Rock him, sock him,
knock him the jaw.
837
00:43:09,464 --> 00:43:15,720
[hums] Hey!
838
00:43:15,762 --> 00:43:17,972
Haha!
839
00:43:18,473 --> 00:43:23,978
[music playing]
840
00:44:57,447 --> 00:45:00,658
[music playing]
841
00:45:00,700 --> 00:45:02,869
[music playing]
57557
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