Original subtitles

Excuse me, waitress?

I'm afraid the teriyaki chicken's no longer on the menu.

Oh, I'm sorry, that's what you had last time.

We've never been here before.

I definitely remember you.

Man: No, we never get up north.

We're just up to see a friend of ours who moved here last summer.

Your hair was lighter, you had little round glasses.

Sounds like you. Henry, don't play along,

it's a gimmick for tips. Could we get some water?

It was last August, Saturday the 14th.

You were wearing a blue dress with polka dots,

your eyes were puffy like you'd been crying.

The 14th is Darren's birthday.

He said he had to cancel his party

'cause his old girlfriend showed up.

They got in a huge fight. Henry...

I knew it. Damn it.

Ever since that ski trip, when the two of you disappeared...

I'll go get your water.

Are you all right? Are you okay?

I can't move my legs.

Picture a door, unlocked with the key of the mind.

Two medical cases, both more fascinating than the last.

Martha: That actually makes no logical sense.

House: This is not a door to logical sense.

Also, shut up.

Case number one: A 33-year-old woman,

named something I can't remember,

youllsee the irony in a second,

presenting with temporary paralysis,

high ck levels, and a perfect memory.

How perfect is perfect?

House: Perfectly perfect.

Hyperthymesia, complete recall

of every moment of every day since puberty.

All 7,600,049 of them.

That's cool, huh?

One of only a handful of recorded cases...

So we have two symptoms: Temporary leg paralysis and elevated ck.

Obviously, you're not suffering from the same condition,

'cause you've already forgotten my dramatic voice over.

There's a third symptom.

Her memory's unrelated.

Why? It's a strange medical phenomenon...

Hyperthymesia's known to manifest in adolescence.

Yeah, in the whole five documented cases.

To be related, it'd mean 20 years between symptoms.

Plus, I don't know of any diseases that cause great memory,

only ones that destroy it.

Mris show no evidence of a stroke

or tumors, so probably a toxin.

She's a waitress. They're no strangers to botulism or alcoholism.

We should search the diner and where she lives.

Or you could search her brain.

You know, where her memory lives, and save the gas.

You two, check her home, you two, get a complete patient history.

We'll see who gets an answer first.

You said there was a second case.

Oh. Yeah, thanks.

The case of the 45-year-old doctor

who just failed his pathology re-certification exam

is going to lose his board certification and get fired.

How did you fail it? You spend half your life in the lab.

I was recovering from the flu. I'm retaking it next week. It's not an issue.

Normally, I'd let darwinism run its course

but cuddy's in a big tizzy about her poster boy getting canned.

So, how are we gonna get the short guy off the short bus?

What about a tutor? I don't need a tutor.

Tutor it is. Choose your poison.

Chase, if you prefer pounding aussie beers

and commiserating over the suckiness of divorce.

Masters, if you want nervous energy, flash cards,

and obnoxious pieces of arcane trivia.

Foreman, if you need to be berated by a humorless hardass.

Foreman. House: Interesting.

You must be more worried than you look.

Need a consult, Dr. Wilson.

So, call me in a week if it still itches.

Thank you.

And be sure to give Sarah a kiss for me.

Will do.

Who's Sarah?

Her granddaughter, I think?

Early stages of dementia. What's the consult?

I need your medical opinion,

on what bar we're gonna hit for happy hour tonight

to kick-off the official end to your three-month pity-party over Sam.

I can't tonight.

Because of Sarah?

Yes, because of my senile patient's granddaughter, you caught me.

I'm busy.

Who's Sarah? Wilson's friend?

My computer crashed. Lost my database of his acquaintances.

Or you're both lying to me.

I know nothing about Wilson having a friend named Sarah.

Satisfied?

Ooh!

What are the eight types of vomitus?

I can show you four right now if you ask me one more review question.

Hey, you picked me and you said you wanted a hardass.

No, house said that,

and I pretended to agree to get him off my back.

I picked you because I wanted the guy

who doesn't like getting involved in other people's problems.

I guess I thought you'd want to skip

the massive public humiliation of getting fired.

By treating me like I'm an imbecile?

I'm totally fine. I aced my first pathology boards.

Medicine has come a long way in the last 100 years.

You know, I heard of a guy who knew a guy

who could get the exam ahead of time.

It was something I heard.

Patient's file said she lost some weight on a new diet, right?

Yeah, she went vegan.

Are laxatives vegan?

Hello? Foreman: Where are you?

In the parking garage, searching Wilson's car.

We have an answer, magnesium poisoning.

Foreman: We found a pretty large stash of laxatives.

Abuse can lead to hypermagnesemia.

I admit, that's impressively outside-the-box thinking.

Foreman: House?

You still there, house?

Taub: Everything okay?

No. For a second, I thought Wilson might have a drug problem.

Turns out it's much, much worse.

Okay... so we push fluids

and wait for her kidneys to clear the hypermagnesemia?

You'll be waiting a long time since that's not what she has.

Her BP and respiratory rate are normal.

While you two were so busy being impressively outside the box,

you missed the actual box.

Chase and masters done yet?

Nadia: Two light beers November 16th,

one really bad glass of Pinot on the 17th,

nothing from the 18th...

Shouldn't you be working for NASA or something?

You mean, why am I just a waitress?

No, I didn't mean...

I'm sorry I...

It's okay.

Remembering something is not the same as understanding it.

I'm not a genius.

I love my job. I'm great at it. It keeps my mind busy.

Hi, I'm Dr. House, and you're not pooping.

Question is, are you also a klutz?

I guess I'm no clumsier than most people...

What are you guessing for? You've got a perfect memory.

I was told there'd be numbers, dates, fireworks.

What do you want to know? Let's go back to 2008.

How many trips, stumbles, falls did you have?

Eleven.

This really works. Cool.

How about 2009?

Twelve.

Even cooler. Last year?

Twenty.

That's a big spike in dyscoordination.

If you add constipation, it's early onset Parkinson's.

Give her a full neuro-exam and start her on ievodopa.

I'm so surprised you broke into my apartment without telling me.

What is this?

An intervention.

Exhibit a: A baggie filled

with nepeta cataria, also known as...

That better not be what I think it is.

If you mean your newjunkie girlfriend, then yes.

House_.

Okay, fine, I got a cat. Release the kraken.

I don't think you appreciate the severity of your situation.

You're rapidly approaching end-stage male spinsterism.

That cat, that diabetic cat, that you're shooting up with Insulin

and buying dime bags of catnip for,

that means you've given up on ever finding anyone.

Don't you think you're completely overreacting?

If I'm completely overreacting, why'd you lie to me?

Because I knew you'd completely overreact.

Its name is Sarah.

Cats aren't named that, women are. What the Freud is that about?

Look, I didn't name her, my neighbor did. She died and I felt bad.

Sarah would've been destroyed at the shelter.

Who wouldn't want a cat that croaks

if you're not home twice a day to shoot it up?

It's like having your own button on lost.

You know, I'm pretty sure there's a river nearby.

I'm keeping her.

Martha: Okay, shrug your shoulders and don't let me push them down.

So, I have to ask, is there a trick you use?

Mnemonics, meditation?

No. No tricks.

I don't even try, really. It's just there.

Is my memory going to go away with the Parkinson's?

It's quite possible.

But we still have a lot of tests to do

before we have a definitive diagnosis.

Well, here's hoping for cancer.

Nadia?

Your boss called me.

Sorry, I'm Elena, Nadia's older sister.

You don't have to be here.

But I'd like to pretend you'd visit me if I were in a hospital.

You brought daisies.

They're your favorite. No, they're my least favorite.

I was stung in the face six times by...

Oh, god. What's wrong?

My heart...

Fast, wide-complex rhythm. Get the paddles.

Chase: Cardiac involvement rules out Parkinson's.

So we're back to transient paralysis and high ck, plus arrhythmia.

Masters, when you finally blossom into a woman,

would you ever sleep with a man who had a cat?

Sure.

Wrong, the answer is "no."

Slut.

Any of you ever had a cat?

Any of you ever had sex?

I think as your people say, "quod erat demonstrandum."

An excess of catecholamine could set off an arrhythmia.

It's not a pheo, her blood pressure is fine.

Maybe we're missing the obvious.

The heart could be behind everything.

If it's not pumping effectively, the muscles shut down,

ck elevates, coordination suffers.

Why are you asking about cats?

Curiosity.

Can we focus here?

Her heart problem started when Nadia saw her sister.

Stress-induced arrhythmia could be caused by long qt syndrome.

Her sister was barely in the room five minutes.

She said they'd been estranged for over six years. That's a lot of tension.

Run a stress test to confirm long qt.

It'll have to be drug-induced,

a treadmill would pull her stitches.

Drugs are never the answer.

We want her heart to go crazy,

there's something simpler and safer.

Use the sister.

You lied to me.

No, I said I didn't know anything about

Wilson having a friend named Sarah.

Under house rules, that's not a lie.

He's lonely.

The cat's a nice way for him to get some affection.

That's not the kind of puddy tat

he needs to be getting it from.

He needs the puddy tat he can tap.

Why is this so important to you?

After divorce number two,

he fell into a committed relationship with a three-legged siamese,

stopped answering his phone and redecorated his place like gray gardens.

He wasn't able to come back to humanity

until a window was left, suspiciously and heroically, open.

How that cat opened the window, I will never know.

He just needs more time.

Leave him and the cat alone.

I won't if you will.

Sorry about the daisies.

I always get it confused if you love or hate them.

Do you want to know exactly how many times

I've told you that I hate them?

I didn't do it on purpose.

Her heart rate isn't moving.

The sister stress pot needs stirring.

You want me to start a fight?

Just agitate a little.

Use something from the history.

You're not lying to them.

In fact, you'd be telling the truth

and serving their medical needs.

You haven't seen each other in a while, huh?

I heard the story about the time you hit Nadia with the car.

That must have been pretty scary.

Why would you tell them that?

They asked about broken bones.

I swear that I checked my mirrors.

You know that's a lie.

You knew I was getting the mail

and you just didn't care enough to check.

Just like you didn't care that you ruined my 23rd birthday...

Nadia, don't start.

You started it by coming here and acting like you give a crap.

Here we go again! I'm such a monster because I brought daisies!

You need to leave right now.

Is she going to be okay?

Elena, get out!

You said you'd be 10 minutes.

I couldn't decide on the cheese.

When are you getting an apartment? Or at least a storage room?

I'll get to it. I like it here.

They have video on demand.

I pulled a practice test I hate practice tests.

Hey, I never saw the usual suspects,

you want to check it out before we start?

What are you doing? You've got three days.

Why is everyone's first assumption

I'm going to fail this stupid test?

Maybe because you did?

I was recovering from the flu.

I don't care if you were dying from ebola,

you shouldn't have gotten less than a 70.

You're nothing but excuses and distractions.

Well, it's a nice match with your condescension and superiority.

Enjoy the movie.

Kevin spacey is keyser soze.

How is she?

We've started her on a beta blocker,

it should keep her heart rhythm under control.

She'll be fine while we run more tests.

Did you hear she banned me from her room?

I know I'm not perfect, but she's...

She can be such a bitch.

She never, ever, ever lets anything go.

Tell Nadia she doesn't need to worry about seeing me again.

I started the fight.

We needed her heart rate to rise, so I provoked you.

You can't play with people like that.

Maybe if I explained to Nadia...

No, it doesn't matter.

It's just one more fight for her to remember.

Guess you're both bitches.

Masters.

Smell her breath. Breathe out.

Ammonia.

What is it?

I think your kidneys are shutting down.

Failing kidneys puts the heart back on the list as a symptom.

Maybe she went vegan because she lost the taste for protein.

Could be amyloidosis.

We would have seen a stiff heart on the nuclear study.

But autoimmune could account for

multiple organ systems and paralysis.

There are a number that'd fit: Guillain-Barre, polymyositis...

Ms, polyarteritis nodosa...

Sle.

Why are you giving me these?

'Cause while they're off running all these tests,

you'll be submitting the insurance forms.

There's an entire department for that.

Exactly, the foreman department.

Of which you're the foreman, foreman.

I know you've got the time, since a little wallaby told me

that you recently vacated your post as Taub's savior.

He asked. You're worse than masters.

How's this my fault? He doesn't need a tutor,

he needs ritalin and a babysitter.

House: Consider the forms incentive.

If Taub doesn't pass,

they will become a permanent part of your life.

This isn't really about cuddy, is it? It's about you.

You don't want to lose me.

I think you care.

You don't think you can disgust me

into pulling foreman off you.

Pulse the patient with steroids for the autoimmune

and start her on dialysis for the kidney failure.

Treat the Taub with insults and small slaps for the obstinacy

and start him on studying for the brain failure.

No, that's not gonna work. I have a haircut at 4:00.

I'll be in the... I'll be in the office in about 20 minutes.

Yeah, okay.

You planted something in my apartment

to make me think I'm allergic to Sarah.

Paranoia is the first sign of toxoplasma gondii,

the parasite linked to crazy cat lady disease.

I'm not paranoid.

I'm allergic to ragweed and dandelion. I am not allergic to cats.

You're trying to gaslight me.

Maybe your subconscious

is afraid that you're gonna die alone,

and it just comes out as gibberish and sneezing.

Prove that I'm overreacting. Boy's night out.

Good time Charlie's.

They just changed their slogan to

"where the trashiest ladies get trashed."

You do see the hypocrisy in all this, don't you?

Until recently your lifestyle of choice was self-exile.

But I never had a cat.

Why don't you pick me up at 8:00?

You're gonna need another round of steroids.

In the meantime, we'll start your dialysis.

So I heard Elena won't be coming back.

You think I was too hard on her?

We all hold our grudges...

It's not a grudge.

It's common sense, it's simple math.

She's hurt me more than she's helped me.

Most people edit their memories.

They add small little lies so they don't have to face the truth.

My memories remain the same.

My truth never changes because my truth is the truth.

So no one ever gets forgiven?

Sounds like a lonely way to live.

No, I do forgive, as long as the good things they do outweigh the...

I can't... I can't breathe.

Huh.

Nothing. What?

I just always pictured your place with shag carpet.

Like kind of a mod squad vibe.

Not because of the black thing.

I always thought you were more of a Pete...

You're limited to this room and Marcus's old room.

Where's Marcus?

He tells me he's working with our uncle in Florida.

He tells you?

You don't look at or touch anything

that doesn't belong to you, including food.

You will study and you will sleep.

You will not leave my sight until the exam.

Great. I'll be back bright and early tomorrow and we can...

This is no longer just about your future, it's about mine, too.

You fail, and I will kill you.

Respiratory distress means we were wrong about autoimmune.

Martha: Could be pulmonary oedema from the renal failure.

Pulmonary oedema doesn't give you hives.

You think this is an allergic reaction?

It can't be, we pumped her full of steroids.

It can be if it was a really, really bad one.

I have good news and bad news.

Good news is, I was right about you

having some autoimmune disease.

You're just allergic to the dialysis.

But if I can't have dialysis and my kidneys are failing,

won't that mean I'll die?

Well, you figured out the bad news.

What do we do?

We look for another case.

Even if we're right about autoimmune,

we now don't have time to prove it.

The transplant board will never give her a kidney.

Maybe we could go around them? Get a relative to donate.

Which relative?

The sister who walked away and told you she was never coming back?

We caused this, you know.

They were estranged, but we made it worse.

That relationship was broken long before we got there.

Nadia literally keeps score. She tallies everything.

She decided Elena's done more bad things to her than good.

Doesn't deserve her affection.

I'm sure she's right.

Unlike everybody else in the world,

her memory seems to let her keep a pure,

objective view of people and relationships.

There's no petty emotions or agendas fogging the windshield.

Why's that so wrong?

Because it's making her die alone of kidney failure in room 205?

Not necessarily. Nadia's sister is not like her.

I'm sure she's got plenty of subjective emotions we can exploit.

Why don't you go channel your guilt,

see if you can get her to cough up a kidney?

I'm not good at that type of thing. Someone else should go.

Someone else didn't screw this up.

I didn't...

You were just obeying orders, right?

Go fix this.

I didn't mean to make you hate her.

And now that her kidneys have failed...

I've always been a book and equations person.

People are problematic and random and messy,

and with sisters,

I mean, I had a cousin who I was close to

and when our menstrual cycles synched,

it was like gladiator school...

Do you want me to donate a kidney to my sister?

Yes.

Okay.

Really? It might not fix your relationship.

Probably shouldn't have said that.

Foreman: Your left. On your left!

Taub: Stop whining already.

I was getting a sniper.

Foreman: Five minutes left in the break.

But the next level is just past the cooling tanks.

That was the deal. We take this break, you do a practice test.

I didn't have the flu.

I just choked.

You make life and death decisions every day.

You work for house.

You're under constant pressure and you never choke.

I got a perfect score on my first pathology boards.

I kept thinking whatever my score is now,

it's going to be a measure of the distance

between me and the man I used to be.

You gotta stop psyching yourself out.

Well, the last test was before I lost my wife and my home.

So I'm sure the next one will go much better.

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night,

and I can't sleep for hours because

I'm worried I got the diagnosis wrong.

These things work out.

We found a donor.

It's your sister.

Just thought you should know.

Nadia, can you hear me?

You're coming out of your anesthesia,

you're going to feel a bit groggy.

You did great. Everything's looking good.

Nadia? Come on now, open your eyes.

Get me three milligrams of iorazepam, and I'm going to need suction.

Seizures mean the steroids aren't working.

And we got the tests back. We were wrong, it's not autoimmune.

Could be acute porphyria.

No abdominal pain.

Did the patient thank her sister?

No, not yet at least.

See if she will.

What are you trying to find out?

If she's telling the truth.

She claims she objectively sees reality,

weighing the good and bad in people.

If that's true, I don't care how many times

her sister borrowed her scrunchy without asking.

The free kidney ought to trump all the bad stuff.

And if it doesn't?

Then she sucks like the rest of us.

Chase: We haven't considered her blood.

Clots could hit her leg, heart, kidney and brain.

Factor v leiden: Easiest to treat if we're right.

Start her on heparin. And ask for the thank you.

How did I do?

Great.

Great? How great? How many did I miss?

It's not about the numbers. Don't...

Fifty-four percent?

They make the practice tests harder than the actual exam.

Oh, my god, now I'm choking in your living room.

This isn't going to work.

Who are you calling?

I found the guy. He can sell me a copy of the test.

I know it's cheating, and I suck as a person,

but the test is tomorrow morning.

It's not about the cheating, it's about your confidence.

You steal that test and you'll never get it back.

I can't handle failing at one more thing in my life.

You're a good doctor.

I've seen what you're capable of.

You're fast, you're decisive, and you're bold.

Those are not the qualities of someone who needs to steal a test.

There's nothing on it you don't already know,

you just need to know you know it.

Keep talking.

We need you on the team.

So we're gonna sit here and take another practice test,

and we're gonna keep taking them until you've kicked its ass.

You can do this. You feel me?

Yeah!

I feel like we just buried a hooker in the desert.

There'll definitely be another time

to rise up and turn things around.

You'll come back from it.

Next time.

Chase: How're you feeling?

Not any better.

It will take some time for the clots to resolve.

Your sister's recovering well.

If you're really adding up the good and bad...

Can I see her?

House: Too fat. Too thin. Too desperate.

Not desperate enough.

Come on, you can insult them, too.

I'd rather not.

If you objectify them now, you'll feel more comfortable

when you tie them to a table in your basement later.

Or whatever.

Okay.

Too armpit-fatty?

Whoa. Too hot.

I actually know her. She's the new barista at my coffee shop.

She's getting her masters in finance.

House: Brains and boobs.

The mother lode.

Total moron as a barista, though.

Every drink I order, ends up with whipped cream on it.

Even when I say, "no whip."

Girlfriend, that means she's into you.

Okay.

House: "Hi, there.

"Wilson, James Wilson.

"I'm a doctor.

"Hoping that's enough to close,

"but I'm also a social moron.

"And I have a cat."

She said my coffee is not the only thing

she'd like to put whipped cream on.

But is she interested?

Oh, my god.

Bartender! Champagne for everyone!

Thank you for saving my life.

I love you, you know.

I was thinking about those times

we went up to spofford lake in the summer.

Whenever we took out the canoe,

you'd tie up my life vest for me.

And in the afternoons, you'd sneak me

into the lodge so we could steal popsicles.

Maybe we could go back.

I could drive us up there.

We could get a cabin, and maybe rent a canoe.

Wow, I haven't thought of spofford in...

Nadia, are you okay?

Elena, I'm sorry. I can't do this!

Can you stop? Just stop pushing me for a minute.

I understand now why you stuck yourself in that diner,

away from friends, away from family.

You can't forgive anyone.

I don't think you weigh anything.

I think you're like a lot of people,

you focus on the bad memories instead of the good.

I don't have a choice.

Nadia, put your hand in your lap for a moment.

I'm not doing that.

I know.

It's an involuntary movement called chorea.

What does it mean?

It means we still don't know what's wrong with you.

Thank you.

Do you know if that or nurse that Wilson liked

ever broke up with her boyfriend?

Ithoughtyour Wilson fetish was over.

I'm putting together a second string

in case things don't go well with the well-breasted barista.

You've got to let that guy alone.

He's not supposed to be alone.

Is that what this is about?

You feel guilty because Wilson's the one that's alone and not you?

You still don't think you deserve this.

Have you met me?

Your happiness doesn't take his away.

It's okay to enjoy it.

Yeah?

Chorea. Rules out the clotting disorder.

It means we're back to square one.

If it's hit her brain, that could mean she doesn't have long.

So then the question becomes, "will the sister show up at the funeral?"

She tried to reconcile.

But the bad memories crowded out the good and she ran.

Nobody's perfect.

What else?

Come on, the woman has all the information we need,

she's a bottomless diagnostic library.

Maybe we're missing something from the apartment, some iifester thing.

Yeah, it's all muscle strain from doing her hundreds ofjigsaw puzzles.

We should do another mri. A brain hemorrhage would...

Hey, how many puzzles?

Okay, I was exaggerating dozens.

Do a peripheral blood smear, look for acanthocytes.

I'll be right in.

Remember me?

Just kidding.

So, Jigsaw puzzles.

I find them calming.

You ever left one unfinished?

No, that would drive me crazy.

Speaking of...

Why are you doing that?

More important question is, why are you?

It's just a habit.

It's a habit that compels you in an obsessive way that's so bad

it's a disorder.

I don't have ocd.

Each brain with ocd has its own way of filtering it.

Some people wash their hands and hoard TV guides,

you do puzzles and hoard memories.

So what we thought was a gift,

was just you literally obsessing over your own life.

That's why I can't stop the memories even when I try.

But everything else? My kidneys...

Your memory was a symptom of a symptom of a larger disease.

You have mcleod's syndrome. It's a rare genetic disorder

that affects the nervous system, blood and can cause

ocd.

Am I gonna die?

It can't be cured.

But your various symptoms can be managed with medication.

Best case scenario, you can live another 20 years.

If it's any solace, everybody dies alone.

Probably isn't.

How'd it go?

Well, it's hard to choke when you have all the answers.

Look at it this way, it's better to suck at taking one test

than to suck at saving people's lives.

Wow!

Rachel thought it was too big, and I can't keep it in my hotel room.

You're giving it to me?

I couldn't stand the thought of you

having company over with that other TV.

It's embarrassing.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Hey, look. I have the room.

You could stay if you wanted to.

Just until you find your new place.

Who else am I gonna play savagescape with?

We could do that online from separate houses.

Will you shut up?

Okay.

How're you feeling?

Much better.

I don't believe what house said.

I'm not sure even house believes it anymore.

You said you didn't have a choice to be the way you are.

Now you do.

These are ssris. They've been effective in treating ocd.

You mean lose my memory?

Not lose it entirely, it'll just become more like anyone else's.

My memory

is the only thing that has ever made me special.

Maybe so.

But if you want to be special, you're going to have to be alone.

Hey.

Those are for Sarah.

Are they poisoned?

You and your paranoia.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I really should find a better place to store my ragweed.

It's a very nice gesture, but it's still in the apartment.

So, I want to hear all the dirty, dairy-specific details

of your night with java the slut.

All right. First of all, all real.

Second, a true connoisseur of the dark arts of...

If iaked. I walked her to her car and said good night.

I will get back into it. You just need to give me a little more time.

I'll give you 10 days.

Fine.

Ew!