Original subtitles

Heinz In the Moon

Living at Erynnienstr. 11

living at Andersenweg 6, 2nd floor

and on the 3rd floor

in other parts of the city are living

Winnetou

good morning, Miss Secretary

good morning, any mail?

here you are

here you are

thank you, Herr Kosemund

that's too much honour

just call me Arthur

Wallenstein and the ... Book of Dreams - What Sign Are You

dreaming of "being tortured at a stake"

means you'll get married soon

coffee

coffee

no milk

no milk

honey

honey

faster

the coffee's coming up

I hope you had a restful night

"Virgin" - saving a virgin dressed in white from mortal danger means:

in the closet shirts are missing... Count them! Check with the servants!

Aristides Nessel - Erynnienstr. 11 - To the Nessel Porcelain Works inc.

Herr Aristides Nessel asked me to tell you

that Miss Pythia will be here at 10.30 for a private conference

then the mail won't be attended to?

presumably, Miss Secretary

what rubbish! how can a person belief such hokum!

too much repartee

too much repartees

too much repartee

I'm against plural

I love the singular

I'm an aristocrat

good morning

morning

I am to remind you of your visit to your factory

how long haven't I been there?

tomorrow it'll be six weeks

golly!

by the way, I'll keep the houses at the Fish-Market after all

a pity, I've had them sold last week

how could you!

how could you sell them without asking me!

I simply assumed your consent

I see, then everything's all right

the sale was very profitable, by the way

otherwise, you would have lost at least 1/4 of a million

of course, for that, you could never have assumed my consent

then everything's all right

Miss Busch

yes?

do you dream at night?

no - a pity

why?

I've permitted myself to dream of you last night

something nice?

I've cut you off from the torturing pole

and what does your dream manual say to this?

it says, shirts must be missing

I've already counted them

five are missing

so you think that Arthur ...

possibly

It was nice of you to cut me off.

don't mention it

how did it happen, in fact?

it went like this: you were dressed in white, a virgin, you know

and those evil Indians, they shot at you

with poisoned arrows

But Siddie, what do you think you're doing!

I'm practising, mama

this afternoon, there's a shooting contest at the club

but you couldn't possibly shoot at the valuable oil painting!

go away! those old "hams"

papa will be furious

fabulous

right in the muzzle

that club! full of stuck-up women, just like you are

modern amazons

you'd better hunt for a man - but nobody will have you

you'll never get a man, never!

I'm telling you, papa has given up all hope

don't be so untalented

let me have it

this is the proper way to brush a top hat

tenderly

very tenderly

at the stock market, the shine of my top hat is notorious

yes, Herr Fasan - don't curtsey

a free person doesn't curtsey

make a note of it

are you blind? look at this!

my trouser legs are full of dirt

I look like a swine - I beg your pardon

don't beg my pardon, you're a free person, but see to it now!

just forget it, stupid girl

you parricideress!

don't fuss, papa

I'll disinherit you

again?

you'll make beggars of all of us

what a wayward child

I'm fed up with both of you

you're nothing but wayward parents

I'm going to Cleo

Prof. Ass Specialist for nervous diseases

# yes, t'is sad but true

# yes yes yes ah yes

- good day, Miss - is Cleo in? - no, she isn't

doesn't matter

wonderful!

but Miss, the Professor is with a patient

I didn't come here to see the "old nut-cracker"

scientifically speaking, there is no cause for alarm, Madame

first of all, you need calm and rest

no upheavals, your soul needs to relax

don't expose yourself to any shocks

good-bye, Madame

but Miss, you can't do this!

yes, I can

Emma, my smelling salts

Siddie, how could you!

I'm practising, for the shooting contest

and you knock out my patient

better than shoot them - by the way, nothing's happened

Emma, where's my daughter?

Mademoiselle hasn't come home yet

but Cleo didn't go out alone?

of course not, Professor, Miss Linck never lets your daughter go out alone

- Corinna? - Yes?

No other lady's companion has ever managed to stay that long.

but you mustn't start on that subject again

has papa forbidden you to have a private life too?

in a way, he has

you're heroic!

allow me

- why! - you must excuse us

please don't feel disturbed, the young lady didn't mean it personally

everyone has a personal note, hasn't one?

- I'm always lucky with women - allow me

- all right, well ... - excuse me

you see, she didn't mean it personally

come, Cleo

come, let's leave this place

come with me

I've already healed the most complicated cases

but with my daughter, all my medical skills fail

I think your daughter's case couldn't be simpler

as soon as your daughter knows her first real love, she'll get well

I'll look around among my acquaintances

only the prince is missing to awake the sleeping beauty with a kiss

a man with a saviour mission

my method is strictly scientific

without any financial basis

of course, when doing house calls, my costs have to be covered

that goes without saying

one moment, your hands

very generous, very sympathetic, thank you

do you have a deck of cards?

please cut them

the left hand on your heart

three stacks

ah, very interesting

very interesting

please concentrate

think hard

think hard!

are you thinking? can you think?

very good

one two three - oh

I see, you were born under the sign of Venus

I thought so

very nice

very nice

terrible

something very serious is about to happen to you

your whole life is at stake

terrible, terrible

because you're going to get married

the torturing pole

sorry?

the torturing pole

I see

lots of women

lots of women

yes yes, you're a child of Venus, you are, sir

blond, dark, brunette, what a heap, it's teeming with them, but halt!

halt! the heap is thinning out

a very strong personal note is working its way to the front

and this is the one who will remain

this single one

very nice

what covers them, what frightens then,

what they don't miss, what stands at their side

the horror: you'll have a terrible encounter, like a crash

one moment

now it's clearing up

very nice, now listen:

the woman you'll bump into today after I've left

will be your life's companion

by marrying her

well

that's enough for today

if you have another question to destiny ...

you have my phone no.

and also my bank account no., I hope

good day

the first woman I'll bump into ...

by marrying her

Arthur, where is my car parked?

corner of Andersenstr., as usual

and if I may say so, about that car accident the other day

please no more ambulances

please no more crashes

on the contrary

- Herr Nessel, you must sign the letters - that can wait

what is he up to?

a crash

Man, what are you doing!

but you can't bump into my car just like that!

pretty

but we're fortunate

don't keep me, sir, otherwise ...

I'll shoot

ah, the Indians

allow me, Aristides Nessel

of the Nessel Porcelain Works?

yes mam. do you have parents?

and how!

I'd like to ask for your hand in marriage tomorrow morning

- for my hand? - yes

why?

destiny wants it so

but your factories are running smoothly?

splendidly, I never pay any attention

well, why wait till tomorrow?

come and see us tonight, for a sandwich

my parents will be happy

Andersenweg 6, 2nd floor, take the elevator

yes mam

but don't get mixed up with the buttons

for mezzanine there's "I", for the 1st floor "II"

for the 2nd floor "III"

good-bye, till tonight

good-bye. Halt!

you! halt!

"I" - 2; "II" is 3?

doesn't matter, divine woman

golly!

excuse me

back already, Herr Nessel?

yes, I had a slight crash

you're driving too fast, Herr Nessel

but I didn't drive at all

it went like this:

because I just got ... uh ...

well, for the time being I only know her street no.

good day

don't eat the poultry with your fingers, Helene

I've become engaged today

what a bad joke

you can't fool anybody anymore

I've become engaged to Mr. Aristides Nessel

what!

the porcelain Nessel?

- yes mam - Siddie, my child

don't raise any vain hopes

Nessel stocks are at 270 at the market

is that a lot?

a lot

a dream

a dream?

it's all bosh

you'll see

Herr Nessel will come and see us tonight

for a sandwich and will ask for my hand in marriage

how do you mean, for a sandwich?

Siddie!

too kind, dear colleague

so we'll be expecting the young man for supper

yes. thank you

good-bye, colleague

Miss Linck

Miss Linck

prepare yourself for an experiment tonight

for an experiment on love

a young man with a saviour mission

he'll join us for supper tonight

if the experiment succeeds

Cleo will be saved

Prof. Rothenfuss didn't tell me the young man's name

what shall I do?

call him

I'll call him

This is Prof. Ass. Can I speak once more to Prof. Rothenfuss?

what? he just left?

1 is "II", 2 is "III"

3 is "IV", 4 is ...

Prof. Ass Specialist for nervous diseases

good evening - evening

- excuse me, am I expected? - certainly

- is a grown-up daughter living here? - yes of course

- then everything's all right - let me take the flowers

this way please

Herr Prof. Ass

allow me

Madame

excuse me, sir, a mistake, I'm a widower

allow me, Miss Linck

I see

too kind

yes please?

Emma, please put the flowers in a vase

won't you sit down?

my daughter will be here presently

I hope the experiment will succeed

experiment?

I already regard myself as engaged

do you object to me?

not at all. but you don't know Cleo yet

ah, Cleo's her name

a rare name

fits the surroundings perfectly, by the way

"rare" is the right word for Cleo

you express yourself in a charming manner

thank you

I can tell from your face that you have a saviour mission

I beg your pardon?

there's Cleo

for you

this is Herr ... eh

say something, Cleo

I cannot speak when I'm overwhelmed with feelings

I see

that's exactly how I feel

please

you know ...

of course

excuse me a moment

a patient, an urgent case, he's feverish

your place looks nice

the building, the surroundings

are all the apartments let?

all of them, of course

Emma, put the flowers in a vase

hallo

this is Prof. Ass

the colleague Rothenfuss hasn't come back yet?

I'd like to know the name of the young man you sent to us

does anybody know?

but how am I to address him?

don't you have any idea how to reach Prof. Rothenfuss?

a fine mess, your practice, I'd like to be one of your patients

there must be many families with children living in the building?

not at all. what makes you think so?

I've just done some fast combinations

because I found an arrow in the elevator

that's Siddie

Siddie?

yes, my girlfriend

I see, your girlfriend. and her name's just Siddie?

her first name, of course

her first name, of course

Siddie with the arrow

you see, it's my specialty to guess names

shall I guess her family name?

Siddie with the arrow

I'm sure she's a Mexican

let me see ... Siddie ... Siddie ...

Siddie ... Caramba

not at all. Siddie has a family name she's always annoyed with:

her name's Fasan [pheasant]

Fasan

that's a funny name, Fasan

makes me laugh

Siddie Fasan

well, what did I tell you?

you stuck-up goose

seeing you, loving you, inquiring about you, and it's all over

Aristides Nessel to become engaged to you? to you of all women?

since Nessel stocks are at 270

he'll come. just you wait

- may I serve dinner now? - yes - no!

- yes - stop it!

I'll wait another 10 minutes. I won't be starved because of you

a miracle

she doesn't kiss him

the real and true love

dear children

who can that be?

perhaps Siddie

Don't! I couldn't bear to see another strange face

we're sitting together so cozy right now

I agree. Siddie will turn everything upside down anyway

Miss Linck, please answer the door and for heaven's sake, don't let Siddie in

yes

what is it you wish?

I'm expected. Prof. Rothenfuss sent me

because of the experiment

how embarrassing

because the Professor has already sent another man

what?

I'll complain to the association

I'd like to leave now

but the evening's just beginning

on the contrary

it wasn't Siddie

who was it?

wrong number

I see

then I could stay some more

my dear ... dear ... well

What's your name actually?

since you're part of the family now

what family?

of course, part of this family, that's right, part of this family

what's your* name? [du]

Ari ...

all that ringing today

tell Emma we're not at home, we won't open the door

we won't open the door

what's your name?

Arthur

heavenly

and ...?

why "and"?

well, your surname

Kosemund

Arthur Kosemund

operator

operator, call again the Nessel residence

somebody must answer the phone

Herr Nessel is on his way

rubbish

you didn't even get a connection, I heard you

of course. what does it mean anyway: "on his way"?

on his way

from the Erynnienstr. to us it'll take him 7 minutes, ridiculous

well

I'm going to bed

papa!

he'll surely come

yes, surely

but not to us

my compliments to the gentleman son-in-law

mama

don't pick your teeth

I thought I was free person. what's the matter?

my dear, my good one

here's something tasty

a tasty little leggie

something nice, something good

take the dog downstairs, will you

don't idle

- yes, Herr Fasan - let me, I'll go

come, Rollo

the fianc�s have the honour: Cleopatra Ass - Arthur Kosemund

look here, Arthur

no, nothing official please! I hate that

but tomorrow we'll introduce you to the family

must you?

Arthur, please

but no neighbours will be invited

no, only close relatives and Genoveva

who's she?

this is Arthur

pleased to meet you

what is it you wish?

is Herr Nessel at home?

at this late hour, he isn't

where is he then?

well ... even if I knew I'm discretion impersonate

I'm Siddie Fasan

Arthur

your master has promised to visit us tonight to become engaged

then he'll surely come

in such cases he always comes

insolence!

come, Rollo

Rollo

Emma, open the door for my fianc�

here you are

thank you

till tomorrow, my darling

tomorrow

tomorrow at 8 o'clock

a nice evening tonight

spring

- here you go - after you

Herr Nessel

Nessel! only now you've come!

two hours late?

I had a terrible time with the porcelain, I ...

I had to look after the porcelain a bit, then I wanted to get some flowers and ...

all the flowers were closed, and I wanted to buy some, and ...

all the flowers were closed, and ...

and above all, I didn't know your name, Miss Fasan

and how come you know it now?

why?

but you just mentioned my name

I see, but above all, you neglected to tell me your name today at noon

if you had mentioned your name, it would have been much easier to find you, Fasan

because of my connections I was able to find the name, because I inquired,

and because of the sandwich, I've come here and ...

if you permit, an occasion to spend the evening with me after all

allow me, be so kind and ...

- charming - come, Rollo

yes yes

if Siddie really had caught that Nessel

my position at the stock market would be 100% secure

Siddie and Nessel

did you believe this nonsense even for a moment?

he's here

who?

well, he, he's sitting next door

who's sitting next door?

Aristides Nessel

you must get dressed again at once

what do you say to this, Helene?

should we know joy with our daughter after all?

I'd like to have a look at the idiot

my parents and dinner will be here soon

they've been starving because of me?

that wasn't necessary - I've mixed this cocktail myself

it's called fire-water

I see, the Indians

why, Aristides?

Aristides

you've called me Aristides

My name's Siddie

Siddie. that's nice too

a rare name

suits the surroundings

Ari

Ari, you're the man I've been dreaming of

don't you want to kiss me for our engagement

Siddie

you woman!

children, my good, my dear children

my dear son-in-law

Siddie, my good child

allow me, Aristides Nessel

Fasan, Frau Fasan

Aristides

Madame

call me mama

why don't you want to? it would be so nice tomorrow evening

only a few friends, close relatives

no, I've an important conference tomorrow, it can't be postponed, and

I couldn't leave before 10 o'clock

then drop by at least, even at 10.30

after all, one wants to show off the bridegroom to one's family

by the way, let's put an announcement in the paper right now

yes, "the fianc�s have the honour ..."

no, I don't like it, I don't want it, nothing official

no, I don't want it, I don't want you to invite anybody

if it must be, then invite only the closest relatives

and nobody from up there, nobody from the building

invite nobody

but why not? - why not, Ari?

my best girlfriend lives above

- who is she? - Cleo - Cleo, that's a terrible name

in fact, her name's Cleopatra

that's even worse

- but this is nonsense - of course it's nonsense

but I don't like nonsense

good evening, Madame

it really is nonsense

till tomorrow, at 10, 10.30 I'll be here

Dina, open the door for my fianc�

well, isn't he charming?

well, a bit crazy in the head

but he's only marrying you

Nessel stocks

at 270.

ah, Herr Kosemund - you again?

no, I'm still here

but I let you out of the building an hour ago

that is, I forgot something and ...

what?

I meant, I wanted to meet somebody, and I hid inside the building and ...

and then you came along

I?

you're a crafty one

yes, I'm a crafty one

maybe we could see each other tomorrow, if you like

- with pleasure - allow me to take leave now

- good-bye - by the way, I've a favour to ask of you

don't tell Genoveva

whom?

I mean, Siddie

whom?

I mean, Cleo

don't tell Cleo

- good night, Berta - Emma

Emma, don't tell Emma!

good night, Corinna

good night

Emma

yes?

come over here

good evening

well, we've had quite an evening

at your place too?

our Missus has become engaged

with a certain Aristides Nessel

now hold your hat!

Cleo too

to a certain Arthur Kosemund

and what's more, but don't tell anybody, on your word of honour

my word of honour

that Kosemund has already flirted with me

what cheek

our guy is far too dumb for such a thing

West-End 7778

what was that?

Arthur, is that you?

yes, this is Arthur

yes darling, I'm floating so to speak in higher spheres

I can't speak any louder, at any moment ...

what? who's barking there?

but who is this?

this is your Arthur

yes

this is your Arthur

of course your ... of course, darling, Cleo

listen, I'll call you back later

greetings to your papa

I am what?

of course I am. terribly happy

terribly happy

of course. kisses

good day

Arthur

for how long have you been in my service?

5 years

how much is your pay right now?

gross or after deductions?

in total

net 100

150.

I thank you kindly.

what am I to do for this?

I've become engaged

I see

why "I see"?

the lady called here last night, she wanted to fetch you

she called herself Siddie and bride

the lady on the phone right now called herself Cleo

she's a bride too

but not mine

but yours

and the so-called bridegroom lurked in the hall

and waited till Emma came down with Genoveva

and then they rode the elevator, up and down, up and down

all the time

poor Cleo

now that the Professor has finally got hold of a husband for her

and already on the first night ...

let everybody sweep the dirt in front of his own doorstep

all men are alike, it's the same old story all over

that's enough! what's the matter!

Nessel stocks at 274

rose 4 points

we have affairs of the heart too

at the moment, she's called Lore

one lends out one's own honest name

enormous complications ensue

one is being shot at

how much pay did I say you're getting?

160, wasn't it

175.

please don't believe that I ... when love is involved, no ...

you're wearing a nice shirt

I used to have the same

all right

but if I may presume to give you some advice

the situation is delicate

too many brides

Miss Busch

Miss Busch!

yes please?

this must be a mistake

a lady would like to speak to you, Herr Nessel

why not

the lady said, she wanted to speak to her bridegroom

did you become engaged?

- but this is ... - you see

no, I know nothing of the kind

Miss Fasan

a client of my mother's

no, it's no use at all

oh!

did the lady say something a lady usually doesn't say?

indeed she did

Miss Bride isn't ladylike enough

should I have told Miss Busch that I've become engaged?

I don't think so

in such matters it's better not to confide in the servants

besides, your engagements may be over by then

in fact, I think it's quite charming to be engaged twice

Siddie

- I'm so happy - me too

- you must meet my Arthur - and you my Aristide

his eyes intensely blue

mine are too, but there's a bit of gray in them

and he goes to such a tailor, my Aristides, well ...

you don't say!

you must tell me everything

well, the bridegroom might have put in an appearance by now

he could be here any minute

he could. but will he?

Nessel stocks ...

at 275.

I always told you, get into the porcelain business

porcelain never drops

a pity that colleague Rothenfuss isn't here

that he had to leave on a voyage

he would be surprised how brilliantly his experiment has succeeded

Cleo is besides with happiness

you were right, colleague

a man was the solution

scientifically speaking, pure saviour material

kids, stop that boring turning-round

let me show you something

now I'll put on a good old record

listen to this

what kind of savages are living above you?

a doctor

he finally managed to marry off his daughter and now the good people are ...

performing dances of joy

whom did the Ass daughter get engaged to?

to a certain Mr. Kosemund. a very little man, he isn't even in the phone book

by now Aristides might have come

it's a disgrace

it's a much bigger disgrace that the chandelier is shaking

why don't go up to those people

- good evening, Herr Fasan - can I speak to the Professor?

- just go "calmly" inside - I haven't come because of "calm"

have you all gone raving mad? my ceiling is trembling! my chandelier is shaking!

but Herr Fasan! we're celebrating a quiet engagement to Herr Kosemund.

Kosemund! That person introduces nice and quiet customs in here!

I must have a look at him

that's nice of you, Herr Fasan, that you've come up too

good evening, Herr Fasan

why haven't you brought Siddie?

after all, Siddie has become engaged too

but quietly, not so loud

we're not performing Indian dances because of it

like savages

have you only come here to complain?

indeed I have

but this is mean of you, Herr Fasan!

I'm a free person, Miss!

evening

excuse me a moment

there you are at last, Ari

just imagine, Siddie, I must leave right now

- my son! - mama

why must you leave right now? no, this won't do!

wait at least till papa is here

where is papa, by the way? - he's upstairs and raising hell

- why? - Cleo has become engaged to some idiot

and now those stuffy little people are dancing like mad

but my dear Ari, why must you leave?

we want to introduce you to the guests now

but mama, that's not possible,

the conference is terribly important, I must get back right now

just imagine, the capital will merge and the stocks will rise

how tiring

we can dance as much as we like, to our old records

you stuck-up Great-Mogul, you!

if you're not quiet now, you'll get to know Herr Kosemund!

but I'd very much like to know him!

where is he?

where is he hiding, the legendary beast?

Arthur! Arthur!

don't tell me fairy tales

all this is just hokum

either you don't have a bridegroom at all

or he's a coward and hiding

Arthur! Arthur!

Arthur! Arthur!

what's the matter with that Arthur?

what's so important?

I'm telling you: if that trampling doesn't stop ...

I'll call the police.

where? where?

where's the scoundrel?

Arthur, don't get violent!

leave me, I don't know myself when I'm in a rage

you don't know myself when I'm in a rage

he doesn't know myself when I'm in a rage

be reasonable, Arthur

no, I want to castigate the fellow!

castigate!

Ari was here, but he's gone again

he must raise his stocks even tonight

that's what I call a man

kids, those people upstairs,

they must have acquired such an abortion for a son-in-law

just imagine, kids, they didn't even dare show him to me

we must have a look at the guy

we'll lie in wait for him when he'll be leaving.

Dina, Dina

Dina, come here

put down the tray

you stand guard at the door and watch out for Kosemund when he's leaving

wonderful! run along!

run along, Dina

you just go to bed, Emma

I'll give my bridegroom the keys, you don't have to stay up

thank you, Mademoiselle

no, that's mine

you've lost, you didn't pay attention

you're still so exited

I'm not exited

I never saw that Fasan so furious

scientifically speaking, a choleric

but I'm all calm now

probably he's had no luck with his son-in-law

I'm curious how he looks like

me too

now we'll have a look at the legendary beast

come, mama

- are you sitting comfortably? - wonderful

wonderful, wonderful

Emma has already been sent up to her room

the gentleman is still upstairs

Dina!

my Arthur

yes, my Si ... si si

oh well, Cleo

you splendid man

of course

my blood is feverish, yes

mine too

terribly hot today

but he must pass by here

well

the separation is hard for me

for me too

I'd like to stay with you for hours

that's not possible, papa is so strict

farewell, Arthur

soon our wedding bells will ring

I feel so cold suddenly

and just now, you felt so hot

Cleo!

where are you?

do you hear?

yes I see

well, farewell

I must tear myself away from you very fast

golly! the guy wants to shirk

just be calm, calm

he's not going to escape us!

get in

also 4th floor?

for the time being

where do you want to go?

I can go where I please, can't I

that's none of your business

I go where I ...

get out!

open up!

Emma!

open up!

Emma! open up!

so the ticket inspector after all

where is the guy?

well, which of the two was the Kosemund?

one looked more horrible than the other

none of them was a free person

well, you're quite a guy

yes, I am.

why?

just a figure of speech

say, I hope your ticket inspector is still alive

oh, that one, he's fine

allow me to take my leave now, I thank you kindly

it's nice and quiet right now,

I'd like to profit by the occasion and get lost too

any time, if I can be of service good-bye

good-bye and many thanks

you're welcome

a view of the Venus - 10 pfennig

a view of the Venus - 10 pfennig

a view of the Venus - 10 pfennig

a view of the Venus - 10 pfennig

excuse me, may I ...

you're welcome, thank you very much

you must close one eye

and the other eye, straight onto the Venus

the Venus is beautiful, isn't she

yes, I'm a godson of Venus myself

a bit "hidden behind veils", isn't she [incomprehensible]

hidden behind veils?

I agree

Fashion Salon "dernier cri"

a bit pale in the face

that's what I'm saying: she works the whole day, she exaggerates

just imagine, Madame, early in the morning she gives gymnastic lessons

then for two hours, she's private secretary for a rich eccentric

in the afternoon she helps me out

and in the evening she attends cooking class in a big hotel

but I have fun doing it

excuse me, Frau Busch,

Mrs. and Miss Fasan are waiting in the other dressing room

they're all impatient

please look after them

after Miss Fasan?

no thank you

my dear Madame

my dear Mademoiselle

allow me, Busch

my bridegroom

Frau Busch, that's a charming model, could I have it?

I'm afraid that won't be possible

but you wouldn't want this, your fried Cleo has already picked it up

that doesn't matter

the friendship between Siddie and Cleo is a thing of the past

- but they used to be ... - used to be, but not today

the family is behaving impossibly, Frau Busch

don't they, Ari?

I don't know the people

but of course you know them, darling,

I just told you about the awful noise upstairs last night

just imagine, Frau Busch, it was terrible ...

Siddie! Siddie!

this doesn't belong here

but I find it embarrassing

don't you realize?

but that's not the point, it doesn't concern them

- good day, Madame - good day, Miss Busch

good day

so you show up at our dressing room too

let me introduce to you my bridegroom

we know each other - good day, Herr Nessel

you know each other?

well, that's the girl who ...

my secretary of the morning

and whom do you employ in the afternoon?

you.

then I've been talking to you on the phone this morning?

I don't understand

come, mama

I don't think we'll find the right dress in here

pardon!

after all, I have a say on this matter too

we'll talk later

WE'LL talk later

my dear Frau Busch, don't be angry,

but my daughter is always so terribly excited when she's engaged

good-bye, Frau Busch

good-bye

you can't drive away my customers, because of your private grudges

this isn't done

Here's Frau Busch

my dear Mademoiselle, good day

and Miss Linck too

what do you say to this dress?

just candy

please sit down

very pretty, I must show this to my Arthur

he's my bridegroom

Arthur ... Arthur

Arthur, where are you?

come here, Frau Busch and Miss Busch want to meet you

come

my bridegroom

Kosemund, if you don't mind

very pleased, Herr ... Kosemund

I think I've seen you somewhere before

I'll explain everything later

Herr Kosemund!

I beg your pardon?

just imagine, Mademoiselle, the dress you picked up,

Miss Fasan wanted to have it too

that's out of the question

why not?

the same dress in the same building?

for two brides?

that would be really impossible

but that would be out of the question, that isn't done

what if one of the gentlemen is mistaken about the brides and the apartments

I heard something like that has happened before

yes, I read about it too somewhere

but shall we do the fitting now, Mademoiselle?

yes, you'd better leave us now, Arthur

with pleasure

he's gone, he's gone

you'll never get a husband, never!

mama, he'll surely be here

he's sneaked back to his secretary of the morning

oh those women, those women!

there are far too many on this earth, far too many

good day, my child, where's Frau Busch?

in the dressing room, at a fitting with a customer

has Herr Nessel come back?

I don't know, Mademoiselle

- good day, Siddie - good day, Cleo

I'm here with by bridegroom

and we're looking for ours like a pin (in a haystack)

but it's no use anyway

your bridegroom? well, one hears pretty things about him

what do you mean? out with it!

Arthur, where are you?

where is the junior? where is the darling? where is the Arthur?

we never get to see him

only your Emma does, Miss Fasan

the whole building knows about it already

what does the whole building know?

your Kosemund was trying to get into your Emma's chamber tonight

that's a mean lie!

you're nothing but a foul snake

but my ladies, please show come composure

"dernier cri" [final scream]

Summons - Fasan vs. Ass & Co. re: damages and injury

The Plaintiff has named you as a witness

I got the same summons

in both cases, this regards myself

too many oaths - why?

but you'll have to take the oath - yes

hasn't Miss Busch called yet?

she hasn't, since that spectacular day

in fact, I find all three very charming

I see, too much charm

what do you intend to do, regarding your double summons as a witness?

last night I dreamt of a three-headed cow

what does the dream manual say to the cow?

a great happiness awaits me after a severe trial, I think

but I mustn't shirk any danger

then you intend to appear as double witness before the court?

but that's what the three-headed cow was about - I'm warning you

what you're planning to do is "witness bigamy"

I haven't seen the Kosemund fellow yet

what's his business here anyway, he hasn't seen anything

nobody will ever get to see him

I wonder if he exists at all

huh?

I wonder where Arthur is

Arthur has been so nervous lately

scientifically speaking, an interesting case,

those erratic body movements

those shifty eyes

very interesting for a doctor

hallo!

why are you hiding?

I can't bear to see those people over there.

I don't know myself in my rage, and then possibly you'll lose the case.

my dear Aristides, just keep your blood cool

I can't see cool blood, that's why I left the brawl

but there were only a few bruises

yes mama, because I didn't interfere

I don't know myself in my rage, you don't know yourself in your rage

he doesn't know himself in his rage

we all don't know ourselves in our rage, don't we

and most of all, they don't know themselves in their rage

but don't get exited, Ari

but I must get excited, if I don't get excited now, it won't be any use

then it won't be the right moment to get ... excuse me

- morning - there you are, Arthur

high time, the other party is here already

just be calm, calm

come over here, so that the others can see you

no, I can't bear to see those people

you don't know me in my rage

I could get violet with those people

you're such a hero, how I admire you

Nessel isn't here yet

you'll see, he'll shirk

and what statement could he make anyway, he wasn't there

excuse me a moment

the typical state of a nervous witness

very exited

good day, Miss Busch

finally I've found you, I've been looking for you the whole time

I'd like to tell you ... I'd like to explain to you ...

it think this is quite unnecessary

I just want to explain how I got into whole situation

don't worry, Herr Nessel,

I won't make a statement against you, I'll refuse to give evidence

are you satisfied now?

no no, I wasn't talking about the case, I meant ...

I meant ... Miss Busch ... listen to me

Fasan vs. Ass

but where's my bridegroom Aristides?

the witness Arthur Kosemund

the witness Aristides Nessel

Kosemund

Nessel

Kosemund!

Kosemund!

Nessel!

the witness Aristides Nessel

the witness Anna Busch

Karbusche vs. Niederow

are you Nessel or Kosemund?

- is Miss Busch already inside? - yes

but we're waiting for Nessel and Kosemund

- have both not come yet? - not yet

hearings for Tuesday ... Fasan " " Ass

what's going on in there?

the parties are coming to a settlement

On the occasion of my daughter Cleopatra's

engagement to Herr Arthur Kosemund

I request the honour of your company at a small party

on Saturday, 16th June, at 8.30 p.m. at the Hotel "White Raven", blue room

On the occasion of our daughter Siddie's

engagement to Herr Aristides Nessel

I request the honour of your company at a small party

on Saturday, 16th June, at 8 p.m. at the Hotel "White Raven", green room

now the fruit is ripe

what am I to do? - don't go

I shouldn't go?

thus both engagements will be cancelled and you'll be a free person

a free person isn't free, says my father-in-law

which one?

the father-in-law on the 2nd floor

listen, there are so many beautiful hotels in town

and they both had to pick the "White Raven"

green room at 8 o'clock, blue room at 8:30

every respectable family

celebrates their children's engagements parties at the White Raven

don't go

and first, break off the engagement - what about the three-headed cow?

I mustn't shirk any difficulty

I too had a dream last night - what about?

it was raining macaroni

I've already looked it up

it means another raise of salary

at least, your dreams are practical

green room

over there in the blue room there's the engagement party with 20 place sets

and here in the green room the other engagement party with 30 place sets

we must close this partition

today, you'll be stepping out of the kitchen into life

cooking and housekeeping classes are over now

for the first time you'll be confronted with real life

and you'll serve at those engagement parties what you have been cooking

Miss Busch will stay here,

Miss von Vollker will take over the blue room

Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats at the dinner table

a few are still missing, but "the early bird catches the worm"

I wonder where Arthur is?

I hope he hasn't forgotten his engagement party

but papa!

scientifically speaking, an engagement isn't the fulfillment of male desires

this day is just a complex of beginning complexes

Heinrich!

just let me handle this, ladies and gentlemen

the soup is calling

however, the bridegroom's still on his way

scientifically speaking ...

if you please

asparagus soup, Ari

your favourite soup

asparagus soup is a healthy soup

why are you looking at your watch all the time?

but you aren't at your wedding party yet

but mama!

Miss Busch!

have you turned waitress by now?

please sit down

I couldn't possibly serve there, I know those people

what business does that person have here?

I don't know, but you mustn't call her a "person"

Miss von Volkmer, one moment, would you change places with Miss Busch?

you take over the green room, and you the blue one

I hope nothing's happened to Arthur

but no, he'll surely come

I see, Miss Busch has been discharged already

serves her right

you'll stay!

don't talk over your fish

in my youth, a certain Herr Baldrian died at his engagement party,

choked to death on a fishbone

but mama!

at the time, they served pike too, just like today

raise your arms

paging Herr Nessel

a messenger from the stock market for Herr Nessel, he's waiting at the door

he said you know why ...

what's the matter? are they dropping?

excuse me, the Nessel stocks must be backed-up right now

the rival company wants to blast them

who's exploding?

shhh

Martin, behave yourself

but they were at 275

too late, next time come earlier

there you are at last

excuse me, darling, I got stuck in an elevator

eat, darling, your favourite soup

what's this? asparagus?

asparagus again?

I've been eating asparagus all day, all night, nothing but asparagus

waiter

please serve another soup

I'm afraid that won't be possible, Mademoiselle

then please the oysters

Aristides has been staying away for quite some time

I hope nothing's happened to him

maybe they arrested him

don't say aloud what I'm thinking

the gentleman detests asparagus

careful! careful!

too much of a shock

but what are you doing here?

I'm keeping guard

strange

you seem to have many talents, Miss Busch

she's learned that from Herr Nessel

what do you know about Herr Nessel?

paging Herr Kosemund, he's wanted on the phone

Kosemund? here! who wants me?

- Buenos Aires - coming

it's terrible, terrible, but I must see it through

to the bitter end

I mustn't shirk any difficulties

the three-headed cow

- well, have you backed-up the stocks? - yes, that's all I'm doing, backing-up

now eat something

now Arthur's dinner is getting cold

a pity

coming

but the good mutton

a pity, but I'm afraid I have to do some more backing-up

yes, back them up, that's more important, that's much more important

- I see, serving the mutton twice - indeed

Miss Busch, I must tell you something

don't worry, I won't give evidence against you here either,

just like at court

you're my destiny

do you still believe that nonsense in the dream manual?

you're my destiny, I've been dreaming of you all the time anyway

you don't know that yet

I only bumped into the Missus with my car, you know

but I really bumped into you, you know

- like it was prophesized - this is too much!

you're my destiny

I'm not interested in the twin firm of Nessel & Kosemund

you're my destiny all the same!

too much rage, but she can be had for a song

why?

Miss Busch is in love with you.

I see

- there you are at last - here I am, yes

the phone call lasted a long time

it was from faraway too, from across the ocean,

and there was such a brawl in that phone booth I'm telling you

- well, that ocean - may I serve some more fish?

but not with so many bones this time

but you haven't eaten yet!

but I have, right now ...

and Herr Baldrian has already choked to death on the stuff

he ate such a piece of fish, full of bones, I must tell you about it

the boy had too much of it and off he went, right under the table

excuse me

may I remark something in our defense?

too much honour

please! my master is only here today to see the whole thing through

to cut through the knot

but we don't know how, yet

Am I to help you with it?

we both had something like that in mind

this seems to be a case of mistaken identities

why?

he doesn't have a saviour mission

I had thought of quite another man

yes, I'm afraid he isn't right for Cleo

this is too cumbersome: open up the sliding doors

create a direct connection

like a meek flower, straightening up again

thus in our case

where is Arthur off to now?

after all, a bridegroom is allowed to take a leak for once

for once?

dear bridal couple

esteemed guests

allow me, without wanting to anticipate my next speaker

to say a few fitting words:

our esteemed, our dear Aristides

the unblemished picture of a girl, smiling sweetly

the view of a 100% young man

full of hopes

how does the poet say

May has come

the trees break into leaf

two parents

each fighting... eh

harmonizing

50 : 50

in the May of their lives, Arthur and Cleopatra found each other

and from the May of their lives

they are stepping into the Junius, as we Latin scholars use to say

here you can, as the Frenchman would say,

quote

le roi est mort [the king is dead]

vive le roi [long live the king]

or in a liberal translation

our temperamental Siddie is thinking:

love is dead

long live love

bravo ... bravo

everything that used to be masculine in her, falls from her

there's only one man for her, the only one

if I spread out Cleopatra's childhood before you

a blissful picture of light emerges

even in her early youth

like an arrow, Siddie advanced all her classmates

and now, our Arthur Kosemund

nomen est omen

as we Latin scholars use to say

a Kosemund* in the truest sense of the word [*fondling mouth]

our Cleo will sip this ambrosia from Arthur's fondling lips

bravo ... bravo

and thus I raise my glass

and I say: long may they live

long may they live

well, what did I tell you

what are you bringing?

the "bomb" [ice cream cake]

I see, you're bringing the bomb

and I'll blow up the whole thing

and now ... I'd like to have the floor

dear guests

dear brides ... eh bridal bride

the words of our esteemed previous speaker have shaken me, us to the bone

but I have been the object of far too much praise, I don't deserve it

no, ladies and gentlemen, the praise is due to the families who ...

have taken me, a poor little man, to their generous bosoms.

I'd like to crawl into this curtain right now,

because the honour was far too great

and I cover myself with the curtain folds

ladies and gentlemen, because I can feel it, this is the curtain of destiny

I am standing right now at a decisive crossing of my life's paths

two paths are opening up before me

and my life's signpost is asking,

is simply asking: where to? where to?

you'll be interested to hear, right now, a third path has opened up for me

torn this way and that, full of love - what's going on here?

what's going on here!

who's the rascal? what's going on? who did it?

it's tearing apart

it's torn

now everything's all right

what about the brides?

but they're happy - happy?

because they got rid of me

but it has all been a mistake

I didn't even know the name of the 2nd floor, and I was already engaged

I only knew the button

what button?

1st floor "II", 2nd floor "III"

and then those Indians

it's all destiny

but the two of us, we were destined for each other all the time

definitely destined

really?

did you doubt it for a moment?

let's get lost

yes of course, let's get our coats

Aristides Nessel and spouse, n�e Anna Busch

Attention, I'll start

one

two

the end Engl. subtitles: serdar202@KG