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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:11,234 Okay, you make this shot, you buy me lunch. 2 00:00:11,334 --> 00:00:15,167 No, no. I make this shot, I win. You buy me lunch. 3 00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:18,167 No. I'm saying if you make it, you buy me lunch. 4 00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:21,167 I got to make you lunch? Buy. If you make it. 5 00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:24,100 Why would I do that? If I make it, I win. 6 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,234 Big talk. Let's see ya back it up. 7 00:00:26,334 --> 00:00:28,267 Well, just let me do the shot. 8 00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:34,334 Okay, I didn't make it. 9 00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,334 Who buys who lunch? 10 00:00:36,434 --> 00:00:39,367 I'll buy you lunch, you buy mine. 11 00:00:42,367 --> 00:00:46,067 * You can tell me that your dog ran away * 12 00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:49,801 * Then tell me that it took three days * 13 00:00:49,901 --> 00:00:55,067 * I've heard every joke, I've heard every one you say * 14 00:00:55,167 --> 00:00:59,133 * You think there's not a lot goin' on * 15 00:00:59,234 --> 00:01:02,968 * Look closer, Baby, you're so wrong * 16 00:01:03,067 --> 00:01:06,567 * And that's why you can stay so long * 17 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:11,400 * Where there's not a lot goin' on * 18 00:01:12,634 --> 00:01:14,667 Here. We're returning this movie. 19 00:01:14,767 --> 00:01:18,167 Yeah? How did you enjoy... Blood of the Cursed? 20 00:01:18,267 --> 00:01:19,767 What kinda movie is that? 21 00:01:19,868 --> 00:01:22,133 It's hard to tell. The title's so ambiguous. 22 00:01:22,234 --> 00:01:23,834 I know what kind it is. 23 00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:26,000 I didn't know my parents liked slasher movies. 24 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:28,667 Oh, I like a little scare every now and then, 25 00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:30,601 that's not marriage related. 26 00:01:30,701 --> 00:01:34,133 Stupid movie. Buncha kids camping in a haunted house. 27 00:01:34,234 --> 00:01:36,300 How would you know? You were asleep. 28 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,834 I read the box. 29 00:01:37,934 --> 00:01:40,000 I love the part where they're making out 30 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,434 and the killer sneaks up behind him 31 00:01:42,534 --> 00:01:45,901 and digs a meat hook into the guy's chest, 32 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,300 and then it comes out through the girl's neck. 33 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,634 Bo-ring. 34 00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:51,234 Horror movies are stupid. 35 00:01:51,334 --> 00:01:53,300 Name one good horror movie you've seen. 36 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,300 I can't. 37 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,934 See? They're all stupid. 38 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,767 No, I've just never seen one. 39 00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:00,367 Oh, you haven't lived until you've seen power tools 40 00:02:00,467 --> 00:02:02,634 cut a teenager in half. 41 00:02:02,734 --> 00:02:04,300 I took shop class. 42 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:05,801 That's pathetic. 43 00:02:05,901 --> 00:02:09,267 You never took a girl to a drive-in to see a scary movie? 44 00:02:09,367 --> 00:02:11,567 Yeah. But I didn't see the movie, 45 00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:13,300 if you know what I mean. 46 00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:19,234 Sorry that took so long. 47 00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:21,033 They kept running out relish. 48 00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:22,801 What did I miss? 49 00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:24,534 The movie. 50 00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:28,100 And the rest is none of your beeswax. 51 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,434 He's not the kind to burp and tell. 52 00:02:34,801 --> 00:02:36,334 I can't believe it. 53 00:02:36,434 --> 00:02:39,100 In my own restaurant, right under my nose. 54 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,467 My jacket is gone. 55 00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:43,601 I was here the whole time, eatin' lunch. 56 00:02:43,701 --> 00:02:45,267 Davis? 57 00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:47,934 The sandwich is great. Thanks. 58 00:02:48,033 --> 00:02:49,901 It was right over there. 59 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,834 Sometimes the easiest crimes to commit 60 00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:53,834 happen right in front of your eyes. 61 00:02:53,934 --> 00:02:56,100 Makes you feel like an idiot, huh? 62 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,734 Davis, aren't you going to do something? 63 00:02:58,834 --> 00:03:01,067 Whoa, hey, give the man a break. 64 00:03:01,167 --> 00:03:04,033 He's in a high stress job. He needs time to recharge. 65 00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:05,534 Oh, this sucks. 66 00:03:05,634 --> 00:03:08,601 You think you're safe because you live in a small town. 67 00:03:11,434 --> 00:03:13,734 And then Karen takes your jacket. 68 00:03:13,834 --> 00:03:16,467 Karen took my jacket? 69 00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:19,334 Who do you call when a cop steals your stuff? 70 00:03:19,434 --> 00:03:21,534 Davis stole something? 71 00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:23,834 Two more bites and I'm on it. 72 00:03:23,934 --> 00:03:27,067 Geez, Lacey, how come you're so stingy with the fries? 73 00:03:27,901 --> 00:03:29,801 I'm sorry I took your jacket. 74 00:03:29,901 --> 00:03:31,968 I had to run out for a second. 75 00:03:32,067 --> 00:03:34,133 I didn't think it was a big deal. 76 00:03:34,234 --> 00:03:37,334 Well, it wouldn't be, except this jacket was a gift. 77 00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:39,701 I was with you when you bought it. 78 00:03:39,801 --> 00:03:41,901 A gift to myself. 79 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,400 You know, people who borrow things usually ask first. 80 00:03:44,501 --> 00:03:47,033 It's called respect between friends. 81 00:03:47,133 --> 00:03:48,901 Oh, you mean you and me? 82 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,534 I thought we trusted each other. 83 00:03:50,634 --> 00:03:51,868 We do. 84 00:03:51,968 --> 00:03:55,167 Enough that we can lend and borrow things without asking. 85 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,567 So I could borrow anything of yours, anytime, 86 00:03:58,667 --> 00:04:00,534 no questions asked? 87 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:04,968 By all means. 88 00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:08,567 Oh, I found your wallet in your jacket pocket. 89 00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:10,367 I borrowed ten bucks. 90 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,834 Afraid to watch a scary movie. 91 00:04:14,934 --> 00:04:17,534 How could we raise such a wimp? 92 00:04:17,634 --> 00:04:20,133 You know who I blame? I blame myself. 93 00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:22,133 Oh. I was gonna blame the hippies. 94 00:04:22,234 --> 00:04:24,601 But if you want to take the rap, fine. 95 00:04:24,701 --> 00:04:28,667 It's not too late to do the right thing, turn our boy into a man. 96 00:04:28,767 --> 00:04:30,801 But I don't wanna see a horror movie. 97 00:04:30,901 --> 00:04:33,267 Ditch your diapers, crybaby. Time to become a man. 98 00:04:33,367 --> 00:04:34,767 I'm already a man. 99 00:04:34,868 --> 00:04:36,634 You're seeing the movie. 100 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,067 Yes, Mom. 101 00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:40,000 You guys renting a horror movie? 102 00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:41,667 Count me in. 103 00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:44,400 Are ya sure? It'll make ya man. 104 00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:47,834 That's what they said about tennis, and I turned out fine. 105 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,701 Hey, sorry I took so long. 106 00:04:51,801 --> 00:04:54,100 It was under the seat of my truck. 107 00:04:54,934 --> 00:04:56,634 I don't need your cell phone. 108 00:04:56,734 --> 00:05:00,167 You were supposed to go get your debit card and buy my lunch. 109 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:01,767 Oh, right. 110 00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,567 It's out in my truck somewhere. 111 00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:08,267 Why don't you carry a wallet, like everyone else? 112 00:05:08,901 --> 00:05:11,567 Wow, you're right. This solves all my problems. 113 00:05:11,667 --> 00:05:13,167 It sure does. 114 00:05:16,267 --> 00:05:19,801 Nah, I'm not really a wallet guy. 115 00:05:19,901 --> 00:05:23,267 You were out there rootin' around in your truck for ten minutes. 116 00:05:23,367 --> 00:05:27,267 If you do that five times a day, multiplied by 365 days, 117 00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:30,367 for 36 years, you'd have wasted... 118 00:05:32,701 --> 00:05:35,067 12 years of your life. 119 00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:37,367 Twelve years? Or is it 12 days? 120 00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:41,634 Wow, that's 12 years I can't get back. I don't think I carried the four. 121 00:05:41,734 --> 00:05:43,767 That's birth to grade six, gone. 122 00:05:43,868 --> 00:05:45,367 Well, grade five twice. 123 00:05:45,467 --> 00:05:48,501 Anyways, it's something you should think about. 124 00:05:48,601 --> 00:05:50,901 Maybe I should park closer. 125 00:05:51,033 --> 00:05:52,968 Think more about it. 126 00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:54,033 Yeah, okay. 127 00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:55,300 Now, 128 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,334 about lunch. 129 00:05:57,434 --> 00:05:59,167 We just ate. 130 00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:03,334 Maybe as a child you had a scary experience you're suppressing. 131 00:06:03,434 --> 00:06:05,501 Maybe. You've met my dad, right? 132 00:06:05,601 --> 00:06:06,634 True. 133 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,501 Maybe we should go with somethin' light. 134 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,834 Ah, how about this? 135 00:06:10,934 --> 00:06:12,868 Scream Fest is light? 136 00:06:12,968 --> 00:06:15,000 What is it, a romantic romp? 137 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,601 How about Hell Train? 138 00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:21,434 A buncha people trapped on a possessed train. 139 00:06:21,534 --> 00:06:23,334 Based on a true story. 140 00:06:23,434 --> 00:06:26,400 Satan's locomotive? 141 00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:27,634 Ah, 142 00:06:27,734 --> 00:06:29,801 Dr. Murder Blood? 143 00:06:29,901 --> 00:06:33,067 Is that the sequel to Mr. Murder Blood Goes to Medical School? 144 00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:35,534 You really don't want to do this, do you? 145 00:06:35,634 --> 00:06:37,033 Hey, Garfield. 146 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:38,834 All right. 147 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:45,000 Whoa, check out Mr. Pockets. 148 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,567 What you said earlier really opened my eyes. 149 00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:51,033 No more storin' stuff in my truck, no more wasted time. 150 00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:54,300 If Batman wore pants, these would be the pants he'd wear. 151 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,968 Batman would never wear pants. 152 00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:58,167 I've got a pocket for my cell phone. 153 00:06:58,267 --> 00:06:59,667 Uh, my flashlight's down here. 154 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,167 There's even a secret pocket. 155 00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:02,767 Oh, yeah? Where's that? 156 00:07:02,868 --> 00:07:06,234 It's right... oh. Ho-ho-ho, ya almost got me. 157 00:07:06,334 --> 00:07:07,767 Okay, no, no. 158 00:07:07,868 --> 00:07:09,667 Anything ya need, I'm wearin' it. 159 00:07:09,767 --> 00:07:11,267 Come on, try me. 160 00:07:11,934 --> 00:07:13,067 Okay. 161 00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,601 You got any gum? 162 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,300 Uh, no. 163 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:17,968 How about a pen? 164 00:07:18,968 --> 00:07:20,567 Cough drops? Matches? 165 00:07:20,667 --> 00:07:22,934 Tweezers? Hand lotion? 166 00:07:23,033 --> 00:07:25,367 No. No. But check it out. 167 00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:28,133 I got a cork and this really cool rock. 168 00:07:28,234 --> 00:07:29,868 You're an embarrassment to your pants. 169 00:07:29,968 --> 00:07:31,534 No, no, no, no. 170 00:07:31,634 --> 00:07:33,767 Hey, look. Look. Huh? 171 00:07:33,868 --> 00:07:35,968 You didn't even look at the cork. 172 00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:39,534 Hi, Oscar. Hey, Emma. Hi. 173 00:07:39,634 --> 00:07:42,067 Ooo, looks like someone's havin' a party. 174 00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:44,968 Yeah. A turn-our-son-into-a-man party. 175 00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:46,868 Brent's having a bar mitzvah? 176 00:07:46,968 --> 00:07:49,934 No. We're showing him a scary movie. 177 00:07:50,033 --> 00:07:51,968 He's too sensitive or something. 178 00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:53,601 I blame the hippies. 179 00:07:53,701 --> 00:07:57,167 Well, I'm glad his journey into adulthood will include... 180 00:07:57,267 --> 00:07:58,734 Yummy Gums. 181 00:07:58,834 --> 00:08:00,534 Those are for me. 182 00:08:00,634 --> 00:08:02,267 I like your sunglasses. 183 00:08:02,367 --> 00:08:04,434 Oh. Thank you. 184 00:08:04,534 --> 00:08:06,868 They're Karen's, actually. 185 00:08:06,968 --> 00:08:08,868 I can borrow her stuff. 186 00:08:08,968 --> 00:08:10,367 She can borrow my stuff. 187 00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:14,133 I guess we have what you'd call a don't-ask policy. 188 00:08:14,234 --> 00:08:16,067 Like the military. 189 00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:17,667 Not exactly. 190 00:08:18,667 --> 00:08:20,901 Next time not so fast. 191 00:08:24,567 --> 00:08:27,667 Someone borrowed my regular ones. 192 00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:37,267 That's a lot of stuff. 193 00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:39,801 I guess you could say it's a pant load. 194 00:08:40,901 --> 00:08:45,634 Breath mints, bug spray, lighter, tweezers. 195 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:49,534 Who are ya... like, the guy? 196 00:08:49,634 --> 00:08:53,434 That guy from the TV show, always buildin' anything outta stuff. 197 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:54,434 MacGyver? 198 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,100 Who are ya, MacGyver? 199 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,767 Don't derail him. He's finally getting breath mints. 200 00:08:58,868 --> 00:09:00,267 Go ahead and laugh. 201 00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:04,734 But you multiply the time it takes you to make fun of me 202 00:09:04,834 --> 00:09:08,734 by three and then add a year and then divide that by your age 203 00:09:08,834 --> 00:09:11,667 and, you know, you're wastin' a good 20, 30 years 204 00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:13,567 of your life, right there. 205 00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:16,367 Yeah? Well, time well wasted. 206 00:09:16,467 --> 00:09:18,267 You know, this is a big responsibility. 207 00:09:18,367 --> 00:09:20,267 I got a lotta pockets to fill, 208 00:09:20,367 --> 00:09:22,434 a lot of contingencies to be ready for. 209 00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:24,534 You got any money? 210 00:09:24,634 --> 00:09:26,701 Out in my truck. 211 00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:32,100 Thank you for the sunglasses. 212 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,267 I guess you've learned a little lesson, huh? 213 00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:35,868 Yeah. 214 00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:38,167 Here's your iPod. 215 00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:40,000 You borrowed my iPod? 216 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,734 This was in my purse. 217 00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:42,901 I know. 218 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,634 Behind the counter, below the till. 219 00:09:44,734 --> 00:09:46,801 By the way, you're out of red lipstick. 220 00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:48,300 Oh, fine. 221 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,200 I guess you're okay if I borrow this, then? 222 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,234 Yep. 223 00:09:52,334 --> 00:09:54,100 Maybe I'll make some long distance calls. 224 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,367 Knock yourself out. 225 00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:58,100 See ya. 226 00:10:04,601 --> 00:10:06,534 Hey, where's my cell phone? 227 00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:11,300 Hey, pass me the jam. 228 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,968 I could waste valuable time reachin' for that jam, or... 229 00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:17,501 I could give you one of mine. 230 00:10:17,601 --> 00:10:20,334 Mmm, warm jam from your pants. 231 00:10:20,434 --> 00:10:23,167 Well, let me think about that while Lacey passes me 232 00:10:23,267 --> 00:10:25,100 the jam that's not from your pants. 233 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,667 Oh. Just a sec. I gotta wipe my hands. 234 00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:29,767 Oh, hold on, hold on. 235 00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:32,434 Wow. Thanks, Hank. 236 00:10:32,534 --> 00:10:35,501 You want peanut butter for that? No. 237 00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:37,334 Those pants have everything. 238 00:10:37,434 --> 00:10:39,667 Yeah. Let my pants surprise you. 239 00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:41,200 Come on, challenge me. 240 00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:43,934 Okay. How about pliers? 241 00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:47,334 Oh, I-I don't know, Brent. Not as smart as you thought. 242 00:10:47,434 --> 00:10:49,834 Regular or needle nose? 243 00:10:55,734 --> 00:10:57,901 What happened to my computer? 244 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,834 What do you think happened to your computer? 245 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,400 Anybody need a laptop? 246 00:11:04,501 --> 00:11:06,701 No. Lacey took it. 247 00:11:06,801 --> 00:11:08,868 Why didn't you stop her? 248 00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,734 I'm not good at confrontation. 249 00:11:10,834 --> 00:11:13,567 You're a cop. You have to take people on. 250 00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:16,801 Okay, okay, whatever you say. 251 00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:22,534 I made popcorn. 252 00:11:22,634 --> 00:11:24,267 Oh, you're a wonderful host. 253 00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:25,801 Mm, my pleasure. 254 00:11:25,901 --> 00:11:28,834 It gives me a chance to use this new DVD player. 255 00:11:28,934 --> 00:11:30,334 What are we watchin', again? 256 00:11:30,434 --> 00:11:32,367 What do you care? You'll be asleep. 257 00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:34,033 Long Weekend of Evil. 258 00:11:34,133 --> 00:11:35,934 Is that in May? 259 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,200 Oh, geez. I don't like this already. 260 00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:40,901 Nothing's happened yet. 261 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,667 Who's that guy? 262 00:11:44,033 --> 00:11:46,000 Why's he gettin' outta the car? 263 00:11:48,701 --> 00:11:50,834 Is that his cabin or her cabin? 264 00:11:51,934 --> 00:11:54,868 What do you think a place like that would go for? 265 00:11:54,968 --> 00:11:56,367 All good questions, Oscar. 266 00:11:56,467 --> 00:12:00,000 Why don't you close your eyes and think about them for a while. 267 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:03,133 Oh, don't go in there. 268 00:12:03,234 --> 00:12:05,133 Betcha a cat's gonna jump out. 269 00:12:05,234 --> 00:12:06,634 A cat? When? 270 00:12:06,734 --> 00:12:08,400 Don't know when. 271 00:12:08,501 --> 00:12:11,801 Why do cats gotta jump out at people all the time? 272 00:12:11,901 --> 00:12:14,067 Here, kitty kitty. 273 00:12:16,934 --> 00:12:19,467 Or buzz saw. 274 00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:21,934 I'm just glad it wasn't a cat. 275 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,701 Took his head clean off. 276 00:12:23,801 --> 00:12:26,133 Clean? There's blood everywhere. 277 00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:28,567 Looks like it's her cabin now, eh, Dad? 278 00:12:38,901 --> 00:12:40,834 You okay? 279 00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,501 Oh, I'm more than okay. 280 00:12:42,601 --> 00:12:44,801 I'm fully loaded to maximum pant capacity. 281 00:12:44,901 --> 00:12:46,601 Check this out. 282 00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:48,100 Hey, Hank. 283 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,601 Can I get ya anything? 284 00:12:49,701 --> 00:12:51,534 Uh, no thanks, Phil. I'm good. 285 00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:57,234 Heh-heh-heh. Pretty cool, huh? 286 00:12:57,334 --> 00:12:59,667 Wow. I gotta admit, I'm impressed. 287 00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:01,400 Hey, beer's on me tonight. 288 00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:04,868 Hey. Oh, whoa, woo. 289 00:13:06,334 --> 00:13:08,100 Where'd that come from? 290 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,267 Geesh. 291 00:13:15,534 --> 00:13:17,634 You got one for me? 292 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,400 I can make ya a daiquiri. 293 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,067 Huh? 294 00:13:27,334 --> 00:13:29,100 It's over? 295 00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:33,334 The evil guy's not dead yet. 296 00:13:33,434 --> 00:13:35,434 Well, that's just freaky. 297 00:13:35,534 --> 00:13:37,567 That was the scariest movie I've seen yet. 298 00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:42,334 If you got a cat, put a bell around its neck so you know where it is. 299 00:13:42,434 --> 00:13:45,501 Who won? Team Canada. 300 00:13:45,601 --> 00:13:47,801 Um, hello? 301 00:13:47,901 --> 00:13:49,400 Oh, hey, Lacey. 302 00:13:49,501 --> 00:13:51,901 What are you all doing in my house? 303 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,200 Oh, we're watching a movie. Oh. 304 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,133 It's about some stupid evil cat, but it won't die. 305 00:13:57,234 --> 00:13:59,567 And Team Canada tries to kill it. 306 00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:02,133 Your sentences are like quilts. 307 00:14:02,234 --> 00:14:04,767 You just let yourselves into my house? 308 00:14:04,868 --> 00:14:07,334 No. Karen invited us. 309 00:14:07,434 --> 00:14:09,434 I found jujubes! 310 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,701 Oh. Hi, Lacey. 311 00:14:12,801 --> 00:14:15,033 You borrowed my house. 312 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,868 Well, there should be some scary music right about now. 313 00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,467 Hey, Brent. 314 00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:30,801 I need to pick up a few things. 315 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:35,467 Ribbon, plastic spoons, dental floss, taco shells. 316 00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:37,534 What, are you opening your own Wal-Mart? 317 00:14:37,634 --> 00:14:41,100 Man, it's these pants. They're never satisfied. 318 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,467 Well, I don't even carry half this stuff. 319 00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:45,100 Pogs? 320 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,100 I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. 321 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,501 There's just no pleasin' these pants. 322 00:14:50,601 --> 00:14:53,000 Hey, uh, Hank, have you got a thimble? 323 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,801 What do you people want from me? 324 00:14:55,901 --> 00:14:58,801 I'm not sure. But he wants a thimble. 325 00:14:58,901 --> 00:15:00,801 Put it on the list. 326 00:15:03,868 --> 00:15:05,767 Did you have fun borrowing my house? 327 00:15:05,868 --> 00:15:08,601 It wasn't your house, it was just your living room. 328 00:15:08,701 --> 00:15:11,734 Besides, you using my laptop was like borrowing my whole office. 329 00:15:11,834 --> 00:15:14,501 I didn't let Oscar drool all over your computer. 330 00:15:14,601 --> 00:15:17,067 You replaced the high scores on my computer games. 331 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:19,400 Yeah. Well, that wasn't very hard to do. 332 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:21,601 You really suck at mah-jong. 333 00:15:21,701 --> 00:15:22,868 Fine. 334 00:15:22,968 --> 00:15:25,801 When it comes to borrowing, the gloves are off. 335 00:15:25,901 --> 00:15:27,701 All right, I guess they are. 336 00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:31,801 Should I charge you for those fries, or are you just going to borrow them? 337 00:15:31,901 --> 00:15:34,701 I'll pay for them. Can I borrow some money? 338 00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:37,300 Take it outta here. 339 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,667 I borrowed your purse. 340 00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:57,868 * 341 00:15:58,534 --> 00:16:00,767 Oscar, can you go down in the basement 342 00:16:00,868 --> 00:16:02,934 and get me a jar of pickles? 343 00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:07,267 Why can't you do it? You're closer. Because I'm busy. 344 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,767 Oh, I get it. 345 00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:12,701 You're scared to go down in the basement because of that dumb movie. 346 00:16:12,801 --> 00:16:13,901 No, I'm not. 347 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,767 Is the bogey man waiting under the stairs? 348 00:16:17,868 --> 00:16:19,567 Just go get the pickles. 349 00:16:19,667 --> 00:16:21,100 Are you kidding? 350 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,968 Who knows what kinda lunatic's down there. 351 00:16:28,901 --> 00:16:31,701 Oh, man, I'm not sure this is all worth it. 352 00:16:31,801 --> 00:16:34,133 I mean, sure, it's nice being all self-sufficient, 353 00:16:34,234 --> 00:16:37,801 but it seems my whole life revolves around my pants. 354 00:16:37,901 --> 00:16:40,133 Well, it seems to me like those pants 355 00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:42,767 are wearin' the pants in this relationship. 356 00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:45,300 You think so? 357 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,400 I know so. 358 00:16:47,501 --> 00:16:49,934 I have been in relationships like this before, 359 00:16:50,033 --> 00:16:51,434 normally with people. 360 00:16:51,534 --> 00:16:54,501 You know at first everything is great. 361 00:16:54,601 --> 00:16:56,167 And then the novelty wears off 362 00:16:56,267 --> 00:16:58,934 and then it's all me, me, me, me, me, me. 363 00:16:59,033 --> 00:17:00,834 Is that why they dump you? 364 00:17:00,934 --> 00:17:03,701 The point is, maybe the best thing for you 365 00:17:03,801 --> 00:17:05,567 is to break up with your pants. 366 00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:06,701 Whoa. 367 00:17:06,801 --> 00:17:09,767 You talk about them like they're not even here. 368 00:17:09,868 --> 00:17:11,000 That was Mom. 369 00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:14,000 Her and Dad are too afraid to go down in the basement. 370 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,968 Geez, your folks got a good handle on reality. 371 00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:21,267 Do they think there's an axe murderer hiding in the potato bin? 372 00:17:21,367 --> 00:17:23,200 In with the pickles, actually. Oh. 373 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:26,400 So now they need me to go down there for them. 374 00:17:27,767 --> 00:17:30,534 Hey, while I'm gone, could you clean the stock room? 375 00:17:30,634 --> 00:17:32,400 What? 376 00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:39,601 By myself? 377 00:17:40,534 --> 00:17:42,467 You sure you want to do this? 378 00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:45,200 This way there's closure. 379 00:17:50,334 --> 00:17:53,200 It's not you, it's me. 380 00:17:55,601 --> 00:17:59,801 Whoa-ooo! Hoo-hoo-hoo! That was awesome! 381 00:17:59,901 --> 00:18:01,601 Buy me lunch? 382 00:18:01,701 --> 00:18:04,467 Huh? Oh. I can't. 383 00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:08,567 I just realized my debit card's still in those pants. 384 00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:09,567 Great. 385 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:12,067 Now you're borrowing my wood chipper. 386 00:18:13,534 --> 00:18:15,767 Well, here you go, one jar of pickles. 387 00:18:15,868 --> 00:18:17,767 Found them right behind the severed heads. 388 00:18:17,868 --> 00:18:19,934 We're just taking extra care to make sure 389 00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:23,000 we're safe in our home and you make fun of us. 390 00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:26,601 I'm not as sensitive now that you've turned me into a man. 391 00:18:26,701 --> 00:18:28,200 I'm finally kinda proud of ya. 392 00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:30,934 Can you go to the shed and get my rake? 393 00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:34,100 Why are you freaked out? You didn't even see the movie. 394 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,400 I saw the credits. Some of the letters were bleeding. 395 00:18:37,501 --> 00:18:39,200 I borrowed your curling iron. 396 00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:40,701 I hope that's okay. 397 00:18:40,801 --> 00:18:42,901 Sure, it's fine. 398 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,901 Feel free to say if it's not. 399 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,400 No, I'm happy. 400 00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,701 You happy? 401 00:18:47,801 --> 00:18:49,801 I'm happy. 402 00:18:49,901 --> 00:18:51,968 Because you're probably gettin' tired of this. 403 00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:54,033 No. 404 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,567 Are you? No. It's great. 405 00:18:56,667 --> 00:18:58,734 I'm late for work. 406 00:19:03,701 --> 00:19:04,734 This okay? 407 00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:05,801 Sure. 408 00:19:05,901 --> 00:19:07,501 Great. 409 00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:18,734 Hey, you never let me use the sirens. 410 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:37,567 * 411 00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:41,534 * 412 00:19:41,634 --> 00:19:43,534 Hey, what's goin' on? 413 00:19:43,634 --> 00:19:44,767 Whoa! Whoo-woo! 414 00:19:44,868 --> 00:19:46,467 Whoa, whoa! Whoa! 415 00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:48,634 Whoa! 416 00:19:48,734 --> 00:19:49,934 Sorry. 417 00:19:50,033 --> 00:19:52,767 I thought you were a psycho. 418 00:19:52,868 --> 00:19:55,033 Yeah, I'm the psycho. 419 00:19:55,133 --> 00:19:57,300 Okay, that's it. No more slasher flicks. 420 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,667 I think it's time I broadened everyone's horizons 421 00:19:59,767 --> 00:20:01,734 with a little culture. 422 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:04,100 Slam Dunk Money? 423 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,133 Trust me. Of all the animals-playing-sports movies, 424 00:20:06,234 --> 00:20:07,801 this is one of the best. 425 00:20:07,901 --> 00:20:09,467 That monkey's not wearin' a shirt. 426 00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:11,968 How can you tell which team he's playin' for? 427 00:20:12,067 --> 00:20:15,434 The monkey plays basketball? How high can that thing jump? 428 00:20:15,534 --> 00:20:18,834 Actually, he just runs up the pole and stands on the backboard. 429 00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:21,267 Oh, come on. Even I know that's not allowed. 430 00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:23,701 It's not. Until crusty league commissioner Ed Asner 431 00:20:23,801 --> 00:20:26,000 is forced to change the rules. 432 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:29,534 Oh, but I've said too much. Let's just watch. 433 00:20:31,767 --> 00:20:35,167 Maybe the monkey will be playing against Team Canada, eh, Oscar? 434 00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:37,501 * 435 00:20:37,601 --> 00:20:40,667 Okay, I'm going to bed. Lock up when you leave. 436 00:20:40,767 --> 00:20:42,601 Goodnight. Night. Night. 437 00:20:48,667 --> 00:20:50,434 Oh, Hank, you got any dental floss? 438 00:20:50,534 --> 00:20:53,300 Uh, nope. Sorry, I can't help ya. Isn't that great? 439 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,901 I guess. 440 00:20:57,901 --> 00:21:00,133 Back to the old pants, I see. 441 00:21:00,234 --> 00:21:02,367 Yep. No more pockets to answer to. 442 00:21:02,467 --> 00:21:04,801 I'm a free man. 443 00:21:04,901 --> 00:21:07,634 I guess a part of me misses the old Hank, 444 00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:09,133 the old new Hank. 445 00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:11,267 Aw. Well, the new old Hank's starvin'. 446 00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:13,033 How about some lunch? I'm buyin'. 447 00:21:13,133 --> 00:21:17,300 I guess this means I'm back to waitin' for you to get stuff outta your truck? 448 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,300 Nope. I decided to get a wallet. 449 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,300 This solves all my problems. 450 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,267 It sure does. 451 00:21:23,367 --> 00:21:25,567 Closed Captioning by 452 00:21:25,667 --> 00:21:28,300 Vertical Sync Closed Captioning Services Inc. 453 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,968 www. verticalsync. com 454 00:21:31,067 --> 00:21:34,400 * I don't know the same things you don't know * 455 00:21:38,167 --> 00:21:42,400 * I don't know I just don't know * 456 00:21:48,133 --> 00:21:51,601 * It's a great big place 457 00:21:51,701 --> 00:21:55,367 * full of nothin' but space 458 00:21:55,467 --> 00:21:57,267 * and it's my happy place 459 00:21:57,367 --> 00:22:00,534 * I don't know Yes you do * 460 00:22:00,634 --> 00:22:06,200 * You just won't admit it 461 00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:10,968 Want to have a gas online? Visit us at cornergas. com 462 00:22:11,834 --> 00:22:13,734 * I don't know 463 00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:18,033 * I just don't know * 33042

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