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1
00:00:08,601 --> 00:00:10,734
I'm not saying robots
would fight werewolves.
2
00:00:10,834 --> 00:00:12,934
That's not what
I'm saying at all.
3
00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:15,634
I'm just saying that if robots
did fight werewolves,
4
00:00:15,734 --> 00:00:16,701
who'd win?
5
00:00:16,801 --> 00:00:19,234
Fascinating.
You done?
6
00:00:19,334 --> 00:00:21,901
Werewolves have claws,
robots can have claws.
7
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:25,000
You know, in many ways,
the werewolf is nature's robot.
8
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:26,834
You're not done.
9
00:00:26,934 --> 00:00:29,501
I think we can agree that
when robots fight werewolves,
10
00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:31,000
we all win.
11
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:33,834
Hank, maybe this isn't the
right forum for your theories.
12
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:35,834
Yeah. You should maybe
start a blog.
13
00:00:35,934 --> 00:00:38,801
I was gonna tell him to
lay down on the highway
14
00:00:38,901 --> 00:00:41,000
and discuss it with traffic,
but a blog?
15
00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:42,501
Yeah, a blog.
16
00:00:42,601 --> 00:00:45,501
It's short for web log,
web because it's on the Internet
17
00:00:45,601 --> 00:00:47,267
and log because, um...
18
00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:49,300
They were originally
printed on wood.
19
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,567
Right.
20
00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:54,100
Why waste this on us, when
you can put it on the Internet
21
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,968
and have the whole
world ignore it?
22
00:00:56,067 --> 00:00:57,167
Whole world, huh?
23
00:00:57,267 --> 00:00:58,667
Yeah, you should go now.
24
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,601
I mean the world
needs more Hank.
25
00:01:00,701 --> 00:01:03,267
Yeah.
26
00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:07,667
Werewolves versus robots.
27
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:09,634
That's a whole new level
of stupid.
28
00:01:09,734 --> 00:01:11,133
I know.
29
00:01:11,234 --> 00:01:13,133
Werewolves would
trash robots.
30
00:01:13,234 --> 00:01:14,634
Are you crazy?
31
00:01:14,734 --> 00:01:17,167
Robots have lasers
and rocket boots.
32
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,934
* You can tell me that
your dog ran away *
33
00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:27,267
* Then tell me that it
took three days *
34
00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:33,067
* I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say *
35
00:01:33,167 --> 00:01:37,033
* You think there's
not a lot goin' on *
36
00:01:37,133 --> 00:01:40,767
* Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong *
37
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:44,300
* And that's why you can
stay so long *
38
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,734
* Where there's not a lot
goin' on *
39
00:01:50,767 --> 00:01:52,267
Hello, people on the Internet.
40
00:01:52,367 --> 00:01:55,667
Welcome to my musings,
Hank Talkin'.
41
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:59,234
Yes, you read right.
I spell talkin' with no G.
42
00:01:59,334 --> 00:02:03,267
That is to show
I have attitude.
43
00:02:03,367 --> 00:02:07,067
Yes, Hank Talkin' will not
be afraid to shake things up.
44
00:02:07,167 --> 00:02:08,801
I am a rule breaker.
45
00:02:08,901 --> 00:02:10,400
Hank?Huh?
46
00:02:10,501 --> 00:02:12,567
Why are you eating
salad with a spoon?
47
00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:14,334
I'm a rule breaker.
48
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:17,234
Now the real question.
Why are you eating a salad?
49
00:02:17,334 --> 00:02:18,834
She brought me
the wrong thing.
50
00:02:18,934 --> 00:02:20,467
I'm sorry.
51
00:02:20,567 --> 00:02:23,167
I'm a little distracted today.
52
00:02:23,267 --> 00:02:24,901
News from home.
53
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,400
Nothin' bad, I hope.
54
00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:28,167
My friend's a chef.
55
00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:29,868
Well, that would
rattle anybody.
56
00:02:29,968 --> 00:02:32,400
She just got this
new show, on TV,
57
00:02:32,501 --> 00:02:35,334
where she travels the world
cooking for celebrities.
58
00:02:35,434 --> 00:02:37,801
That's a lotta work, really.
59
00:02:37,901 --> 00:02:41,801
I don't think she has any idea
what she's getting herself into.
60
00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:44,167
Yeah? Sounds like
a real screw-up.
61
00:02:44,267 --> 00:02:47,701
Lacey, that black goo is coming
out of the dishwasher again.
62
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:51,100
Well, if you'll excuse me.
63
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,400
I have goo to deal with.
64
00:02:54,501 --> 00:02:56,968
I don't know how people
eat this stuff.
65
00:02:57,067 --> 00:03:00,133
It's leaves all
the way down.
66
00:03:02,601 --> 00:03:04,701
Buncha crooks.
They get ya comin' and goin'.
67
00:03:04,801 --> 00:03:06,200
Phone company?
68
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:08,467
No. Cable company?
69
00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:10,000
Close.
70
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:13,868
Plus at the end of the day,
they waste the money.
Ah, government.
71
00:03:13,968 --> 00:03:16,300
Davis tells me he doesn't
like doin' his taxes,
72
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,734
if you can wrap
your head around that.
73
00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:21,334
Are you nuts?
Tax time is great.
74
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:22,367
Really?
75
00:03:22,467 --> 00:03:23,868
It's a challenge.
76
00:03:23,968 --> 00:03:26,868
It's you versus the man,
movin' your money around,
77
00:03:26,968 --> 00:03:29,167
hidin' your pennies.
78
00:03:29,267 --> 00:03:31,501
It's like a financial
shell game.
79
00:03:31,601 --> 00:03:33,601
I look forward to it.
80
00:03:33,701 --> 00:03:36,000
You make it sound
like Christmas.
81
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:38,501
Tax time kicks the crap
outta Christmas.
82
00:03:38,601 --> 00:03:40,701
Bah, humbug.
83
00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:46,334
Yes, the rumours are true.
My truck is busted.
84
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,534
Sure, it slows me down.
85
00:03:48,634 --> 00:03:52,434
But a slower pace means you get
to spend time with friends,
86
00:03:52,534 --> 00:03:56,734
like in the olden days,
before they invented my truck.
87
00:03:56,834 --> 00:03:59,200
No, no, no, that's
a common misconception.
88
00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:02,033
There's actually only
seven bones in the human body.
89
00:04:02,133 --> 00:04:03,734
Please stop talking.
90
00:04:03,834 --> 00:04:06,767
No, no, it's true, it's true.
Uh, whaddaya got?
91
00:04:06,868 --> 00:04:11,501
Ya got the skull, the legs, uh,
femur, um, what are we up to?
92
00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:13,534
Maybe there's only six.
93
00:04:13,634 --> 00:04:14,601
Malarkey.
94
00:04:14,701 --> 00:04:17,067
Whoa, whoa. Who's throwin'
the M word around.
95
00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:20,701
Hank's been entertaining us with
his theories on the human body.
96
00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:24,067
Yeah? Better than when he does
his sounds of the human body.
97
00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:26,000
There's actually
only seven bones.
98
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:28,400
You see, you got the skull,
the arm, the...
99
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:30,534
Hold up, buddy.
Don't spoil it for me.
100
00:04:30,634 --> 00:04:32,968
I want to read about
it in your blog.
101
00:04:33,067 --> 00:04:33,968
The what?
102
00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:36,501
Hank Talkin'.
It's a forum
for my musings.
103
00:04:36,601 --> 00:04:38,968
So, anyway, you got
the skull, the legs...
104
00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:43,267
Wait. I also want to not
hear about this now.
105
00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,801
I want to read
about this on your...
106
00:04:45,901 --> 00:04:47,067
Blog.
107
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:50,167
Yeah, I like that thing.
Me too. I love your blob.
108
00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:52,634
Wow. This thing's really
catchin' on, huh?
109
00:04:52,734 --> 00:04:54,467
All right.
110
00:04:54,567 --> 00:04:56,501
What the heck's a blog?
111
00:04:56,601 --> 00:04:58,033
Well, it's an online...
112
00:04:58,133 --> 00:05:00,834
We just got Hank to shut up.
Don't you start.
113
00:05:02,501 --> 00:05:03,901
Oh, yeah,
114
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,968
we could definitely
do you better.
115
00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:10,868
For example, why own your car,
when you can form a company,
116
00:05:10,968 --> 00:05:12,934
sell your car to the company,
117
00:05:13,033 --> 00:05:14,934
then lease your car
back to yourself?
118
00:05:15,033 --> 00:05:16,934
I don't want to sell my car.
119
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,133
You don't. You lease it
from yourself.
120
00:05:19,234 --> 00:05:22,133
And when do I have to
give it back to me?
121
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,801
You don't. It's a trick.
122
00:05:24,901 --> 00:05:26,868
I like tricks.
123
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,801
Yeah, so I was feeling
in a bit of a rut today,
124
00:05:30,901 --> 00:05:34,834
so I went in the back and
whipped up a batch of polenta.
125
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,334
What's a polenta?
126
00:05:36,434 --> 00:05:38,868
It's Italian.
It's cornmeal lightly...
127
00:05:38,968 --> 00:05:40,200
Pass.
128
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:42,000
No offence, Lacey.
129
00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:46,300
But if we want something fancy,
we'll go someplace that...
130
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:51,834
Geez, I kinda painted myself
into a corner here.
131
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,501
Never mind palinka.
What's the soup of the day?
132
00:05:54,601 --> 00:05:56,133
Same as yesterday.
133
00:05:56,234 --> 00:05:57,834
She can't do that, can she?
134
00:05:57,934 --> 00:05:59,100
Oh.
135
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,601
What's her problem?
136
00:06:00,701 --> 00:06:02,100
I don't know.
137
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,267
But it's starting
to affect soup.
138
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,767
I was worried that Hank Talkin'
wouldn't catch on.
139
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,267
But that was malarkey.
140
00:06:10,367 --> 00:06:13,734
It turns out not a day goes by
someone doesn't tell me
141
00:06:13,834 --> 00:06:14,767
they read it.
142
00:06:14,868 --> 00:06:17,300
Hey, Karen.
No need. Read it on the blurb.
143
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,467
Blog.
Love it.
144
00:06:19,567 --> 00:06:21,767
Does it feel good to be a hit?
145
00:06:21,868 --> 00:06:24,968
In a word, it sure does.
146
00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:26,267
Hey, Davis.
147
00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:28,801
I figured you'd be
in tax prison by now.
148
00:06:28,901 --> 00:06:30,734
Oh, no, it's
all above board.
149
00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:34,234
Wanda has me incorporating as
a private security contractor.
150
00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:37,133
I can write off legal costs,
office equipment.
151
00:06:37,234 --> 00:06:39,634
What do you need
a fax machine for?
152
00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:43,801
He can fax in his tax forms.
Saves on stamps.
153
00:06:43,901 --> 00:06:45,968
How much did
all this cost?
154
00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:47,767
Oh, it's not my money.
155
00:06:47,868 --> 00:06:50,501
It's International
Protection League's money.
156
00:06:50,601 --> 00:06:53,400
That's my corporation.
So a dummy company.
157
00:06:53,501 --> 00:06:56,400
I'm going to see if
I can fax to myself.
158
00:06:59,267 --> 00:07:03,100
A $200 fax machine to
save 51� on a stamp?
159
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,467
You have to spend
money to save money.
160
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:08,234
And I saved him a bundle.
161
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:18,000
Okay, so I didn't exactly
save him a bundle.
162
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:19,934
But on the upside,
163
00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:24,334
the money I lost him wasn't
exactly a bundle either.
164
00:07:24,434 --> 00:07:26,501
Well, the important thing
is you're having fun.
165
00:07:26,601 --> 00:07:29,767
If he wanted to save money, he
coulda used a professional
accountant.
166
00:07:29,868 --> 00:07:30,968
There you go.
167
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,634
Who's gonna give me
a ride home?
Why, you drunk?
168
00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:35,133
I wish.
169
00:07:35,234 --> 00:07:38,167
My truck's busted, like I
wrote about in the blog?
170
00:07:38,267 --> 00:07:40,133
Oh, yeah, right.
171
00:07:40,234 --> 00:07:41,434
Right.
172
00:07:41,534 --> 00:07:45,167
I loved that part...
about the truck.
173
00:07:45,267 --> 00:07:46,667
Wait a minute.
174
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,000
Hey.
175
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:51,234
Lacey tried to give me polenta.
I'm worried about her mind.
176
00:07:51,334 --> 00:07:53,300
Brent, you know
about my truck?
177
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,801
What about your truck?
178
00:07:54,901 --> 00:07:55,901
Oh, man.
179
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,234
You guys haven't been
reading my blog at all.
180
00:07:58,334 --> 00:08:00,467
No, no, I-I read it,
about the truck
181
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:04,067
and the thing that happened to
it, or you had done to it.
182
00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:07,767
Aw, you guys are just
trying to get me to shut up.
183
00:08:07,868 --> 00:08:09,400
Shut up.
I mean not true.
184
00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:10,901
Well, thanks a lot.
185
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,200
From now on Hank Yarbo
blogs no more.
186
00:08:17,501 --> 00:08:19,400
Way to go, you guys.
187
00:08:24,868 --> 00:08:27,267
I don't want to go
to a barbecue.
188
00:08:27,367 --> 00:08:29,267
Come on, it'll
cheer you up.
189
00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:31,667
The people, the food,
the smell of the grill.
190
00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:34,067
That's what I do all day,
that's my job.
191
00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:35,567
But this will be outside.
192
00:08:35,667 --> 00:08:37,267
Oh, great.
My job plus bugs.
193
00:08:38,234 --> 00:08:41,534
When I tell Davis I lost him
money, he's gonna go ballistic.
194
00:08:41,634 --> 00:08:43,334
You don't have
to tell him.
195
00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:45,601
He's walkin' around
in seventh heaven.
196
00:08:45,701 --> 00:08:48,467
Check out my logo for
International Protection League.
197
00:08:48,567 --> 00:08:51,934
It's a bear with a snake
in its mouth fightin' a dragon.
198
00:08:52,033 --> 00:08:54,167
How is that international?
199
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,734
Dragons are from China.
200
00:08:56,834 --> 00:08:59,000
Hey, so, uh, I was
reading your blog.
201
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,501
No, you weren't.
202
00:09:00,601 --> 00:09:03,567
Yeah, I was. I thought it was
interesting how you said,
203
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,400
"If Goldfinger had been
named Honeyfinger"...
204
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,167
Ah, too little too late.
205
00:09:07,267 --> 00:09:09,300
"then they wouldn't have
called in James Bond. "
206
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:10,968
I blog no more.
207
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:14,133
"Just 'cause some guy's
smuggling honey. "
208
00:09:14,234 --> 00:09:17,267
Hey, since you read it anyway,
what did Hank talk about,
209
00:09:17,367 --> 00:09:18,767
just in case?
210
00:09:18,868 --> 00:09:20,767
Oh. Well, there was
the Honeyfinger thing.
211
00:09:20,868 --> 00:09:22,868
Here, write it down.
212
00:09:25,234 --> 00:09:28,133
What the heck is
International Protection League?
213
00:09:29,868 --> 00:09:32,100
Horseshoes will cheer you up.
They're lucky.
214
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,868
Why is it that people
who like to do things
215
00:09:34,968 --> 00:09:37,968
always make people who don't
like to do things, do things?
216
00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:40,767
Is this about the polenta?
Because I ate a salad.
217
00:09:40,868 --> 00:09:43,701
How many freaky foreign foods
do you want me to try?
218
00:09:43,801 --> 00:09:45,734
Salad is not foreign.
219
00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:47,300
Yeah, right.
220
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,300
Italian dressing,
Romanian lettuce,
221
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,534
crouton -s.
222
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:53,634
Here.
223
00:09:53,734 --> 00:09:55,801
And it's just a
friendly game.
224
00:09:55,901 --> 00:09:57,701
It's not like
you're playin' Oscar.
225
00:09:57,801 --> 00:09:59,434
He's the horseshoe king.
226
00:09:59,534 --> 00:10:01,834
Oh, yeah? Why's that?
227
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,167
Because he's really
good at backgammon.
228
00:10:04,267 --> 00:10:07,501
Man, no wonder you don't
have a cooking show.
229
00:10:07,601 --> 00:10:11,234
Technically, if you're
only looking at the
dollars and cents...
230
00:10:11,334 --> 00:10:12,501
Uh-huh?
231
00:10:12,601 --> 00:10:16,734
I may not have saved you
any dollars, or cents.
232
00:10:16,834 --> 00:10:17,834
What?
233
00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:20,300
In fact, another way
to look at it,
234
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,901
is to say that I actually
cost you money.
235
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,601
But here's the thing.
236
00:10:24,701 --> 00:10:29,234
I had the courage to tell you
and you respect me for that.
237
00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:32,234
You cost me money?
238
00:10:32,334 --> 00:10:33,334
Yes.
239
00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:35,667
Tax time isn't fun time.
240
00:10:38,934 --> 00:10:39,834
Nice.
241
00:10:39,934 --> 00:10:41,801
What are you gonna do next,
242
00:10:41,901 --> 00:10:44,300
tell a little kid
there's no Santa Claus?
243
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:48,067
Hello. I'm Ivan Fecan,
Head of CTV.
244
00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:50,968
If there's any children
watching, Karen didn't
245
00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:53,667
really mean to say to say
there's no Santa Claus.
246
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:56,467
She just meant it would
be mean to tell kids
247
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:58,000
there's no Santa Claus.
248
00:10:58,100 --> 00:10:59,534
Because, in fact, there is.
249
00:10:59,634 --> 00:11:03,267
That's the position of Karen,
CTV, our affiliate stations,
250
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:05,267
and myself, Ivan Fecan.
251
00:11:05,367 --> 00:11:06,868
Seasons Greetings, everyone.
252
00:11:09,901 --> 00:11:10,934
Yes!
253
00:11:11,033 --> 00:11:13,033
In your face!
254
00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:14,200
Woo-hoo!
255
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:16,000
You ready to get
creamed again?
256
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,868
No. You're cheered up enough.
257
00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:19,000
Oh.
258
00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:22,334
I'm the Queen of Horseshoes.
259
00:11:22,434 --> 00:11:24,234
Who will challenge me?
260
00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:25,534
Hey.
261
00:11:26,634 --> 00:11:28,300
Only I clang horseshoes.
262
00:11:29,934 --> 00:11:31,968
Are you ready to back that up?
263
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,868
*
264
00:11:33,968 --> 00:11:35,834
*You sure you want this?
265
00:11:35,934 --> 00:11:37,400
*
266
00:11:37,501 --> 00:11:39,501
*Bring it on.
267
00:11:39,601 --> 00:11:44,334
*
268
00:11:44,434 --> 00:11:46,000
Let me finish
my hotdog first.
269
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:47,801
Sure, no problem.
270
00:11:47,901 --> 00:11:50,501
My point is, if Vikings
could travel through time,
271
00:11:50,601 --> 00:11:54,067
they'd be impressed by how much
glow in the dark stuff we have
272
00:11:54,167 --> 00:11:56,501
and how we take it
for granted.
273
00:11:56,601 --> 00:11:57,667
Right.
274
00:11:57,767 --> 00:12:00,467
I, uh, I-I read about that
in your, uh, the thing.
275
00:12:00,567 --> 00:12:03,133
No ya didn't.
You just want
to shut me up.
276
00:12:03,234 --> 00:12:06,133
No. I read about it too,
how if you brought Vikings
277
00:12:06,234 --> 00:12:08,801
from the past, they would
be impressed by things
278
00:12:08,901 --> 00:12:12,801
that glow in the dark,
like stickers and...
279
00:12:12,901 --> 00:12:15,367
some types of t-shirts.
280
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:16,801
Wow.
281
00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:19,267
My, uh, blog really
did reach people.
282
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:21,501
You make some good
glow-in-the-dark-related points.
283
00:12:21,601 --> 00:12:23,334
Things that
had to be said.
284
00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:26,133
Maybe I should, uh,
start up the blog again.
285
00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:28,667
Go start it now.
286
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:31,200
Yeah, all right.
287
00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:35,534
That's like magic.
Where did you get that?
288
00:12:35,634 --> 00:12:37,601
Brent's handing them out.
289
00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:39,667
Hah!
290
00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:42,234
Well, I was close.
291
00:12:42,334 --> 00:12:44,334
Close only counts in
horseshoes and de...
292
00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:46,601
well, anyway, you lost.
293
00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:48,868
I thought I was pretty
good at horseshoes.
294
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:52,067
Well, just remember,
you're not.
295
00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:55,100
Well, I guess the important
thing is we had fun.
296
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,968
Mommy and Daddy
mighta told you that,
297
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,467
but it ain't true.
298
00:12:58,567 --> 00:13:00,701
And there's no
tooth fairy either.
299
00:13:00,801 --> 00:13:02,734
Okay, look,
there is a tooth fairy.
300
00:13:02,834 --> 00:13:04,667
I don't know why he said that.
301
00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:07,467
I'd like to apologize to
all the kids on behalf
302
00:13:07,567 --> 00:13:11,200
of the CTV family of companies
and myself, Ivan Fecan.
303
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:12,701
Now remember, kids,
304
00:13:12,801 --> 00:13:15,934
replace your toothbrush
every three months.
305
00:13:16,033 --> 00:13:17,100
Oh!
306
00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:24,834
Don't you think you're
being a bit hard on her?
307
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,434
Ah, she'll get over it.
308
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,968
This is soup?
309
00:13:31,067 --> 00:13:32,868
It looks like dirty water.
310
00:13:32,968 --> 00:13:36,033
I can't do anything right.
What's the point?
311
00:13:37,434 --> 00:13:39,934
Oh, well, she bounced back.
312
00:13:40,033 --> 00:13:41,534
Don't.
313
00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:49,868
Look out, world, I am back.
314
00:13:49,968 --> 00:13:54,200
After popular demand, I have
decided to resume my musings.
315
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,667
Although certain people
are still in my bad books
316
00:13:56,767 --> 00:13:58,167
for lying to me...
317
00:13:58,267 --> 00:13:59,934
I will not say their name.
318
00:14:00,033 --> 00:14:03,734
Brent, you know who you are,
exclamation point,
exclamation point.
319
00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:05,934
Exclamation point.
320
00:14:06,033 --> 00:14:09,133
Brent, do you have any more of
those Hank Talkin' cheat sheets?
321
00:14:09,234 --> 00:14:10,701
No, I'm all out.
322
00:14:10,801 --> 00:14:13,300
Well, could you give
me the gist of it?
323
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,801
No. You have to
read the details.
324
00:14:15,901 --> 00:14:18,601
Look, I hurt a friend
once with a careless lie.
325
00:14:18,701 --> 00:14:22,000
I learned a valuable lesson
about lying more convincingly.
326
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:24,033
You should put the
cheat sheets online.
327
00:14:24,133 --> 00:14:26,567
Online? You mean like a blog?
328
00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:29,000
Yeah. Except people read it.
329
00:14:31,567 --> 00:14:33,234
These are still frozen.
330
00:14:33,334 --> 00:14:35,367
Oh.
331
00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:38,100
Yeah, I thought
they might be.
332
00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:42,834
And then I thought about
the infinite blackness of space.
333
00:14:42,934 --> 00:14:45,033
No matter what you do,
334
00:14:45,133 --> 00:14:48,067
it'll always be cold.
335
00:14:49,367 --> 00:14:51,000
What's with glummy puss?
336
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:53,267
Blame the horseshoe king.
337
00:14:53,367 --> 00:14:55,400
Well, she's no use
to us like this.
338
00:14:55,501 --> 00:14:57,834
You should play her again
and throw the match.
339
00:14:57,934 --> 00:14:59,834
No way. You don't
throw horseshoes.
340
00:14:59,934 --> 00:15:02,767
Well, yes, you throw them.
That's the nature of the game.
341
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,767
But you don't throw
the actual game.
342
00:15:04,868 --> 00:15:08,467
I want you to look at your
soup and say that again.
343
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:13,868
I'll do it.
344
00:15:17,467 --> 00:15:19,534
I could see my friend
was feeling down,
345
00:15:19,634 --> 00:15:22,434
so I decided to cheer her up.
346
00:15:22,534 --> 00:15:26,100
A wise man said it takes
less muscles to make a smile
347
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,300
than it does to frown.
348
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,300
Still feelin' blue just
because you haven't
349
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,567
accomplished anything
with your life?
350
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:36,133
Ah, that is a nice thing
for you to say, Hank.
351
00:15:36,234 --> 00:15:38,234
You know, I used
to worry too.
352
00:15:38,334 --> 00:15:41,300
But then I realized, why worry?
353
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,000
And look at me now.
354
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:46,300
That's your advice,
"Why worry?"
355
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,200
And look at me now.
356
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:50,734
So I should resign myself
to failure?
357
00:15:50,834 --> 00:15:52,834
Boy, I feel super.
358
00:15:55,367 --> 00:15:58,501
Of course, it also takes
less muscles to smile meanly
359
00:15:58,601 --> 00:16:01,734
in a sarcastic way,
very less.
360
00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:03,501
Underlined.
361
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,267
Look, bad enough
you lost me money.
362
00:16:06,367 --> 00:16:10,067
But you didn't even pay me the
respect of lying to me about it.
363
00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:11,567
That hurts.
364
00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:13,400
I can get your money back.
365
00:16:13,501 --> 00:16:16,767
What if I told you Lacey's
gonna beat Oscar in horseshoes?
366
00:16:16,868 --> 00:16:18,634
Impossible.
367
00:16:18,734 --> 00:16:20,167
He's gonna throw the game.
368
00:16:20,267 --> 00:16:21,901
You don't throw horseshoes.
369
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,033
I mean, yeah,
you throw 'em, but...
370
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:25,834
It's fixed.
371
00:16:25,934 --> 00:16:29,067
We put a little money on it,
we get long odds,
372
00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:31,400
you're back in the black.
373
00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:32,901
I don't know.
374
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,667
It sounds illegal.
375
00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:36,167
You're the law.
376
00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:39,100
It's not illegal if you
say it's not illegal.
377
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,868
Really?
378
00:16:43,834 --> 00:16:47,067
When you fall off a horse,
you have to get back on.
379
00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:50,567
It's like riding a bicycle,
except with legs.
380
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:53,367
That's why I really
admire Lacey for trying.
381
00:16:53,467 --> 00:16:55,534
I don't want to
play horseshoes.
382
00:16:55,634 --> 00:16:57,234
I'm no good at horseshoes.
383
00:16:57,334 --> 00:16:58,767
Come on, ya big chicken.
384
00:16:58,868 --> 00:17:01,734
You haven't accomplished
anything with your life.
385
00:17:01,834 --> 00:17:03,701
I was trying tough love.
386
00:17:03,801 --> 00:17:06,434
I think, later, when she
hit me with a rock,
387
00:17:06,534 --> 00:17:08,033
that was tough love too.
388
00:17:08,133 --> 00:17:10,434
Come on. It'll be fun.
389
00:17:10,534 --> 00:17:12,667
Oh, all right,
fine, I'll play.
390
00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:15,701
Less talkin'.
Let's see Oscar beat Lacey.
391
00:17:18,234 --> 00:17:20,734
Ow!
392
00:17:20,834 --> 00:17:23,167
Hey, did ya hear?
393
00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:25,033
Lacey's playing
Oscar at horseshoes.
394
00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:26,567
Really? He'll cream her.
395
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:29,133
Oh, that's for certain.
That's a sure thing.
396
00:17:29,234 --> 00:17:32,133
Oh, I don't know.
Wanna put money on it?
397
00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:35,100
You want to put
money on Lacey?
398
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,634
That's crazy.
399
00:17:36,734 --> 00:17:39,067
What a foolish thing
Wanda's doing.
400
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:42,467
Well, she's lost one in a row.
She's due.
401
00:17:45,834 --> 00:17:48,734
Hey, I need the latest
cheat sheet for Hank.
402
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,400
I put it on the Internet.
403
00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:52,267
It's the wave of the future.
404
00:17:52,367 --> 00:17:54,734
Oh, plus there's this
bonus thing that I wrote
405
00:17:54,834 --> 00:17:57,000
about who's stretchier, Plastic
Man or Stretch Armstrong.
406
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,501
Uh-huh.
407
00:17:58,601 --> 00:18:00,634
I know Plastic Man
is a superhero and
408
00:18:00,734 --> 00:18:04,067
Stretch Armstrong is a toy, but,
still, as a thought experiment...
409
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:07,067
Don't ruin it.
I'll read it on your glog.
410
00:18:10,434 --> 00:18:12,200
It was an exciting match.
411
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,767
Who thought Lacey would
pull ahead like that?
412
00:18:14,868 --> 00:18:17,300
I think Plastic Man
would be stretchier
413
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,067
than Stretch Armstrong.
414
00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:21,534
A bold statement.
But bear with me.
415
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,033
Here's a fun thing.
416
00:18:23,133 --> 00:18:25,701
Wanda just put
money down on Lacey.
417
00:18:25,801 --> 00:18:28,467
I'm just tellin' ya,
'cause it's fun and legal.
418
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:30,334
Oh. I gotta get in on that.
419
00:18:30,434 --> 00:18:32,100
Now, just remember,
throw short.
420
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,868
But I can make this shot,
I can win.
421
00:18:34,968 --> 00:18:36,801
Think about the soup.
422
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:41,133
But...
423
00:18:41,234 --> 00:18:43,400
Take the dive, Leroy.
Do ya hear me?
424
00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:45,701
You're goin' down and
you're goin' down hard.
425
00:18:45,801 --> 00:18:47,400
You're takin' the fall
for Thursby.
426
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,901
Who's Thursby?
427
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,167
I'm just getting a
little worked up.
428
00:18:55,567 --> 00:19:05,434
*
429
00:19:05,534 --> 00:19:06,634
Yes!
430
00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:09,200
I am the Queen of Horseshoes!
Clang, clang!
431
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:12,534
Cooking show that!
432
00:19:12,634 --> 00:19:15,601
Wow. What happened there?
433
00:19:15,701 --> 00:19:19,200
Looks like you'll have to
pay your money to Wanda now.
434
00:19:25,434 --> 00:19:27,300
Hey, this soup's
got soup in it.
435
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,267
Well, I am feelin'
much better.
436
00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:31,300
Pitchin' shoes did
wonders for me.
437
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,567
You don't call them shoes.
They're horseshoes.
438
00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:35,467
Are you the Horseshoe King?
439
00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:39,367
Excuse me, are ya?
Are ya?
440
00:19:39,467 --> 00:19:40,801
No.
441
00:19:42,868 --> 00:19:44,267
Well, she's perked up.
442
00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:46,567
Yeah, it's like I said
in my blog.
443
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:48,534
Once she wins somethin',
she'll bounce back.
444
00:19:48,634 --> 00:19:51,133
Oh, yeah. And about Mr., um,
Stretchy Arm.
445
00:19:51,234 --> 00:19:53,801
The point is, I lost the
game fair and square.
446
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:57,000
So now she has to stop moping
and the food gets better.
447
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:59,434
Wait. You threw
the game, didn't you?
448
00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:00,567
No.
449
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,834
Wait. You didn't read
my blog, did you?
No.
450
00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:04,701
No.
The game was rigged?
No.
No.
451
00:20:04,801 --> 00:20:05,901
So, can I clang?
452
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,934
No.
No. No. No.
453
00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:15,167
I want my money back.
454
00:20:15,267 --> 00:20:17,834
I want George Clooney.
It ain't gonna happen.
455
00:20:17,934 --> 00:20:19,501
But the game was rigged.
456
00:20:19,601 --> 00:20:21,000
That's illegal.
457
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,834
It's not illegal if I
say it's not illegal.
458
00:20:23,934 --> 00:20:26,567
You can't just make up
your own laws, Boss Hogg.
459
00:20:26,667 --> 00:20:28,567
It's all legit.
460
00:20:28,667 --> 00:20:30,667
Right, Wanda?
461
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,701
Davis Quinton isn't
responsible for the debt
462
00:20:36,801 --> 00:20:38,801
of International
Protection League.
463
00:20:41,868 --> 00:20:45,167
Well, I guess we're just
a couple a guys with blogs
464
00:20:45,267 --> 00:20:46,734
that no one reads.
465
00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:49,567
Well, I don't think
that no one...
466
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:51,400
no one reads them, do they?
467
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:53,801
I started on that
Stretch Armstrong thing,
468
00:20:53,901 --> 00:20:55,334
but lost interest.
469
00:20:55,434 --> 00:20:58,534
Besides, Mr. Fantastic
is stretchier than both
of them put together.
470
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:00,033
Oh, that's a good point.
471
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:01,601
Plus he's a genius.
472
00:21:01,701 --> 00:21:04,601
That summer I learned the
true value of a friend.
473
00:21:04,701 --> 00:21:06,868
It's not just companionship.
474
00:21:06,968 --> 00:21:08,801
It's so that when they fail,
475
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:11,767
you can feel better
about yourself.
476
00:21:11,868 --> 00:21:15,234
Nobody's reading this blog,
are they?
477
00:21:15,334 --> 00:21:17,334
Question mark.
478
00:21:17,434 --> 00:21:20,100
Is there anybody out there?
Question mark.
479
00:21:21,534 --> 00:21:23,033
Ah, I'm gettin' a sandwich.
480
00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:26,334
Closed Captioning by
481
00:21:26,434 --> 00:21:28,701
Vertical Sync
Closed Captioning Services Inc.
482
00:21:28,801 --> 00:21:31,100
www. verticalsync. com
483
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,467
* I don't know the same things
you don't know *
484
00:21:38,534 --> 00:21:42,834
* I don't know
I just don't know *
485
00:21:47,767 --> 00:21:51,400
* It's a great big place
486
00:21:51,501 --> 00:21:55,367
* full of nothin' but space
487
00:21:55,467 --> 00:21:57,300
* and it's my happy place
488
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,601
* I don't know
Yes you do *
489
00:22:00,701 --> 00:22:03,701
* You just won't admit it
490
00:22:04,901 --> 00:22:08,067
Want to have a gas online?
Visit us at cornergas. com
491
00:22:11,467 --> 00:22:13,300
* I don't know
492
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:17,834
* I just don't know *
36075
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