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Hi, I'm Tracy. And
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today we're going to talk about communicating in times
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of conflict. Right but before we can really
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dive into communicating with conflict, we
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need to understand the Dynamics of our body
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right now. We are governed
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by something called I will automate it
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nervous system. Right and that automated nervous system
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is responsible for any type of unconscious systems,
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right or unconscious habits, and
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the unconscious system is is that you breathe
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without thinking about it. And then your habits are you
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can have the habit of waking up in the morning brushing your
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teeth drinking your coffee, right? That's something that you do without thinking
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about it. But they're a branches underneath
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that order autonomic nervous system, right? You
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have this sympathetic nervous system and you have the parasympathetic nervous
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system. Now when the parasympathetic
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nervous system is activated you will
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know because you will be in a space of
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Us and digest and what that does is like you're
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in an environment where you feel safe and you feel
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relaxed. Right? So if you're having a
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conversation and it's a with a
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person that you feel safe with and you're just having a nice genuine conversation, you
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are typically in parasympathetic mode,
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right? But then we have sympathetic mode
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which is activated when a
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person feels stressed, right like when a person feels that
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they are in danger and usually the reactions
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with that is and is three typical
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reactions, right? You're either going to want to fight, right?
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And that is either argue or
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use physical Force right to get
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your point across when you're communicating or you're
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going to flight which means you're just
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going to walk away right and just
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get get away from that person or you're going
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to freeze freeze meaning freeze like a deer
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with the headlights like you just have Absol.
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Absolutely. Nothing to say right you just
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freeze and you shut down. All right. Now these
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are the typical responses when
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someone responds when they
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when when their system is activated, right?
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So this is something that we need to know and understand
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because sometimes our reactions is really
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Auto made it right like it's some sometimes
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we cannot control how we're responding so
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that in moments where we react in
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a way that we didn't feel comfortable about then. We
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just got to sit here and think like whoa, okay. I was doing the
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best that I could in that moment. Right and
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it really depends on the person
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that you are talking to right and the
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relationship that you have with that person. So so what I
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mean is say you're talking to a partner right and y'all
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have a conversation that's a little conflicting your
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reaction may be to just walk
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away from the person.
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Right, but on the other hand, if you're talking to your
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boss your reaction may be to shut down
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and just have nothing to say versus if
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you're talking to a co-worker you may want to
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go and that's your voice be heard
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and argue back at that coworker. Right but we all have
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a dominant way of how we react when
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we're in conflict with someone right, but we
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can tither into all areas. But there
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is a dominant way that we respond
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right now knowing that about
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yourself is the first start to making changes
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if that is something that you choose to
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do, right because understand that the way that we
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react is not concrete everything is
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changeable, but we first have to understand where
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do we fall are we a
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person that's ready to fight all your person that flights are
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freeze. And again without judging yourself just
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having real compassion and empathy for
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right like you need to just understand. What is
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your reaction in stress? Okay,
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and then the action step would
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be to just be self aware. What
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is my reaction right and just
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think about and feel what are you thinking?
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What are you feeling in that moment, right and
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then self-observation observing?
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What does that feel like is your body tense is
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your heart racing just really slow
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down and check in with yourself and breathe
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through it and feel what you need to feel.
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Right and just feel what you need to feel.
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Okay, and again do not label
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and judge your self just
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always have compassion and know that you are always doing
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your best. All right,
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and just look forward to more videos.
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