Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Tracy. And

today we're going to talk about communicating in times

of conflict. Right but before we can really

dive into communicating with conflict, we

need to understand the Dynamics of our body

right now. We are governed

by something called I will automate it

nervous system. Right and that automated nervous system

is responsible for any type of unconscious systems,

right or unconscious habits, and

the unconscious system is is that you breathe

without thinking about it. And then your habits are you

can have the habit of waking up in the morning brushing your

teeth drinking your coffee, right? That's something that you do without thinking

about it. But they're a branches underneath

that order autonomic nervous system, right? You

have this sympathetic nervous system and you have the parasympathetic nervous

system. Now when the parasympathetic

nervous system is activated you will

know because you will be in a space of

Us and digest and what that does is like you're

in an environment where you feel safe and you feel

relaxed. Right? So if you're having a

conversation and it's a with a

person that you feel safe with and you're just having a nice genuine conversation, you

are typically in parasympathetic mode,

right? But then we have sympathetic mode

which is activated when a

person feels stressed, right like when a person feels that

they are in danger and usually the reactions

with that is and is three typical

reactions, right? You're either going to want to fight, right?

And that is either argue or

use physical Force right to get

your point across when you're communicating or you're

going to flight which means you're just

going to walk away right and just

get get away from that person or you're going

to freeze freeze meaning freeze like a deer

with the headlights like you just have Absol.

Absolutely. Nothing to say right you just

freeze and you shut down. All right. Now these

are the typical responses when

someone responds when they

when when their system is activated, right?

So this is something that we need to know and understand

because sometimes our reactions is really

Auto made it right like it's some sometimes

we cannot control how we're responding so

that in moments where we react in

a way that we didn't feel comfortable about then. We

just got to sit here and think like whoa, okay. I was doing the

best that I could in that moment. Right and

it really depends on the person

that you are talking to right and the

relationship that you have with that person. So so what I

mean is say you're talking to a partner right and y'all

have a conversation that's a little conflicting your

reaction may be to just walk

away from the person.

Right, but on the other hand, if you're talking to your

boss your reaction may be to shut down

and just have nothing to say versus if

you're talking to a co-worker you may want to

go and that's your voice be heard

and argue back at that coworker. Right but we all have

a dominant way of how we react when

we're in conflict with someone right, but we

can tither into all areas. But there

is a dominant way that we respond

right now knowing that about

yourself is the first start to making changes

if that is something that you choose to

do, right because understand that the way that we

react is not concrete everything is

changeable, but we first have to understand where

do we fall are we a

person that's ready to fight all your person that flights are

freeze. And again without judging yourself just

having real compassion and empathy for

right like you need to just understand. What is

your reaction in stress? Okay,

and then the action step would

be to just be self aware. What

is my reaction right and just

think about and feel what are you thinking?

What are you feeling in that moment, right and

then self-observation observing?

What does that feel like is your body tense is

your heart racing just really slow

down and check in with yourself and breathe

through it and feel what you need to feel.

Right and just feel what you need to feel.

Okay, and again do not label

and judge your self just

always have compassion and know that you are always doing

your best. All right,

and just look forward to more videos.