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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,700 --> 00:00:03,200 Hi, I'm Tracy. And 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,300 today we're going to talk about communicating in times 3 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,300 of conflict. Right but before we can really 4 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:12,500 dive into communicating with conflict, we 5 00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:16,100 need to understand the Dynamics of our body 6 00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:19,300 right now. We are governed 7 00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:21,300 by something called I will automate it 8 00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:24,500 nervous system. Right and that automated nervous system 9 00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:29,200 is responsible for any type of unconscious systems, 10 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,700 right or unconscious habits, and 11 00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:34,400 the unconscious system is is that you breathe 12 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,400 without thinking about it. And then your habits are you 13 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:40,500 can have the habit of waking up in the morning brushing your 14 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:44,300 teeth drinking your coffee, right? That's something that you do without thinking 15 00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:46,900 about it. But they're a branches underneath 16 00:00:46,900 --> 00:00:49,400 that order autonomic nervous system, right? You 17 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:53,500 have this sympathetic nervous system and you have the parasympathetic nervous 18 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:56,100 system. Now when the parasympathetic 19 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:58,200 nervous system is activated you will 20 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,200 know because you will be in a space of 21 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,600 Us and digest and what that does is like you're 22 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,200 in an environment where you feel safe and you feel 23 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,400 relaxed. Right? So if you're having a 24 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,200 conversation and it's a with a 25 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:16,100 person that you feel safe with and you're just having a nice genuine conversation, you 26 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:19,500 are typically in parasympathetic mode, 27 00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:22,100 right? But then we have sympathetic mode 28 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:24,600 which is activated when a 29 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,300 person feels stressed, right like when a person feels that 30 00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:32,500 they are in danger and usually the reactions 31 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:34,400 with that is and is three typical 32 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,700 reactions, right? You're either going to want to fight, right? 33 00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:40,600 And that is either argue or 34 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,100 use physical Force right to get 35 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:46,400 your point across when you're communicating or you're 36 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,700 going to flight which means you're just 37 00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:52,100 going to walk away right and just 38 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:55,200 get get away from that person or you're going 39 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,700 to freeze freeze meaning freeze like a deer 40 00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:00,500 with the headlights like you just have Absol. 41 00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:03,300 Absolutely. Nothing to say right you just 42 00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:07,200 freeze and you shut down. All right. Now these 43 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:10,100 are the typical responses when 44 00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:12,900 someone responds when they 45 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,400 when when their system is activated, right? 46 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,700 So this is something that we need to know and understand 47 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,600 because sometimes our reactions is really 48 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,600 Auto made it right like it's some sometimes 49 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,500 we cannot control how we're responding so 50 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:31,200 that in moments where we react in 51 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,900 a way that we didn't feel comfortable about then. We 52 00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:37,500 just got to sit here and think like whoa, okay. I was doing the 53 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:40,800 best that I could in that moment. Right and 54 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,500 it really depends on the person 55 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:46,400 that you are talking to right and the 56 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,400 relationship that you have with that person. So so what I 57 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,800 mean is say you're talking to a partner right and y'all 58 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:56,000 have a conversation that's a little conflicting your 59 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:59,000 reaction may be to just walk 60 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,100 away from the person. 61 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:03,200 Right, but on the other hand, if you're talking to your 62 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,400 boss your reaction may be to shut down 63 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,500 and just have nothing to say versus if 64 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:12,800 you're talking to a co-worker you may want to 65 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,400 go and that's your voice be heard 66 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,600 and argue back at that coworker. Right but we all have 67 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,700 a dominant way of how we react when 68 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:24,400 we're in conflict with someone right, but we 69 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,200 can tither into all areas. But there 70 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,800 is a dominant way that we respond 71 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,300 right now knowing that about 72 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:37,200 yourself is the first start to making changes 73 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,300 if that is something that you choose to 74 00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:42,300 do, right because understand that the way that we 75 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:45,900 react is not concrete everything is 76 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:49,700 changeable, but we first have to understand where 77 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:51,200 do we fall are we a 78 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,500 person that's ready to fight all your person that flights are 79 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:57,800 freeze. And again without judging yourself just 80 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,000 having real compassion and empathy for 81 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:03,700 right like you need to just understand. What is 82 00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:06,800 your reaction in stress? Okay, 83 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,500 and then the action step would 84 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:12,900 be to just be self aware. What 85 00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:15,600 is my reaction right and just 86 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,400 think about and feel what are you thinking? 87 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:23,100 What are you feeling in that moment, right and 88 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:26,000 then self-observation observing? 89 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:30,100 What does that feel like is your body tense is 90 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:32,300 your heart racing just really slow 91 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:35,900 down and check in with yourself and breathe 92 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:39,100 through it and feel what you need to feel. 93 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,600 Right and just feel what you need to feel. 94 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,800 Okay, and again do not label 95 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,500 and judge your self just 96 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:53,200 always have compassion and know that you are always doing 97 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,400 your best. All right, 98 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,200 and just look forward to more videos. 7918

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