All language subtitles for Comedy.Queen

You always told a joke that went something like
this: "Why can't you put up a boar for
adoption?" "Because you get a-boar-tion." And
you laughed out loud even though no one found it
funny. And I laughed as well because you were
happy.

So the cliff was named after the person. What the fuck does a Cliff look like? And the
worst part is that my grandfather's name was Cliff. But he looks like an Earl! What the hell does he want?

Could you turn that off? Thank you.

There's nothing wrong with going here. It's perfectly normal. Honey... You're completely
normal. You don't need to say that you're going to the dentist or things like that. OK?

Hey... What are you doing? Hey, stop it.

I'm taking a selfie.

Here at the psychologist's office?

Yes. You know, it's normal to take selfies at my age.

Come on.

What? Everyone does that. You just said I was normal, right?

Stop it.

Sasha?

Yes. Hello.

Tell me something about yourself. What do you do in your spare time?

Eh...

I could start if you want to.

No, I'll start. I like to do... normal things. Like sing in a choir.

Right.

Wait... You don't sing in a choir.

No. But I want to. I've told you. And you said I should try new things.

Sure.

It's great!

Sasha used to play basketball...

I spend time with my best friend Märta.

What do you like about Märta?

She's nice and normal. Happy.

Hm. How would you describe yourself?

I'd say that I'm nice and normal, just like Märta. I think that's why we're such good friends.

So you want to sing in a choir?

Maybe.

Cool.

You can drop me off at home.

Right... But I thought we'd go to the grave and light a candle.

But I have homework.

Sasha...

It's a presentation.

You said you'd give me more data if I went today.

Right.

There. See you later.

Mm. Yes, bye.

Buy.

I'd just like to remind you that there's lots of traffic on the E20 going downtown. So, if you
are going downtown on the E20, a lot of traffic. Take it easy! Speaking of roads, I think John Denver has something to say.

Hi, honey!

Hi.

Are you home?

Hm.

So nice. Did you have a good day?

Yes.

Give me a hug.

But no tickling.

OK, no tickling.

Mom, don't!

I don't tickle...ever. Or maybe... Come on, honey, let's hug

Mom, no tickling.

Mom. If you quickly lie down and stare at the ceiling without blinking the tears will run back into your
eyes. It's a great tip if you don't want to cry. You always cried. And then you died. Now everyone else cries. But not me. I refuse to cry. I don't want to be
like you. I don't want to be depressed and die. I want to survive.

I'm writing a list of things I need to do to avoid becoming like you. Number 1. Cut off all my
hair. Everyone says I look like you. They mean it like a compliment, as if it's a good thing. But I don't want to look like you.

Number 2. Don't read books. You were always reading. Did that make you happier?
No. So I'll never read another book.

Number 3. Never take care of something that's alive. That's quite obvious. You tried
taking care of me, but that went to hell.

Did you know that dad hasn't laughed since you died?

You made him cry. I need to make him laugh again. It's the most important thing. I'll
become a comedian if that's what it takes. I just can't stand seeing him this sad.

Number 4. Become a comedy queen!

Are you cutting it all off?

Yes. She's so beautiful.

Yes, it really suits her.

Sasha and Märta, class is about to start.

We know.

That's nice. Is that a Buddha?

Buddha!

God!

That's nice.

Yes.

Wait, do I have ears like that?

Oh, God. No!

But seriously?

No, no! Don't worry. I promise.

She doesn't have a shirt on.

Are you sure you want to do it?

Yes. It'll grow back.

It's a big change.

Yes.

Right... Are you sure? Your hair is so nice.

Then you can have it. Do it!

Fine... Sure?

Yes!

Right. On three. One, two... ...three.

Ow, Ow, Ow!

Sorry! Sorry!

Is it working?

I think so.

Does it look good?

Yes.

What are you doing?

I think it broke.

What?

It's broken. It doesn't work. God, what have I done? I'm sorry! Your dad is going to kill me! I've broken
it.

Calm down.

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Stop saying sorry.

I'm sorry!

Shit.

Hi, Sasha! I'm home!

I'm gonna die...

Hi, Märta.

Hi...

What's going on? Sasha? Honey, what did you do? Damn!

Your machine is crap. We just wanted to cut my hair.

The machine is for those with short hair.

Hey, Märta...

There...

What do you think?

It's great.

Thank you.

It's nice. It suits you.

Thank you.

I'm happy you like it. Excuse me, I'll just get that. Thanks.

Do I look ugly?

No, it's really nice. It feels like velvet.

I'm sorry about before.

Stop it! I said it wasn't your fault.

Not that. About what I said when your dad came home. I said... "I'm gonna die."

That's just something people say.

Yes, but...

It's cool.

Really?

Yes.

You look gorgeous.

Come on, you're late!

I have a sore throat.

No, you're just nervous about your hair. But you look great! Hey! Come on!

Hey... You look really cool.

Listen... You start with the set-up to build up the joke. Then the punchline is the funny part.

So what's funny?

It doesn't say. If you do stand-up and everyone loves it, then you kill it. But if it goes to hell, you bomb.

So you want to be a comedian?

Yes, I think so. I need to make my dad laugh.

Right, gather here! Come down, Nils. We need to start. We're going to play dodgeball today. You all
know the rules. Sasha. You're wearing a hat. You need to take it off for PE. Come on. Hurry, we need to start. Come on. Good. I'm splitting you into two
teams.

Nice.

It looks really great.

Thank you.

When did you do that?

Yesterday.

Where did you do it?

At home. Märta helped me out.

Very cool.

I didn't mean to.

Right.

Nice haircut.

Thanks.

No offense, but you kind of look like a killer in a horror film.

Research shows that there were neither continents nor oceans and there was only a weak
atmosphere.

We'll pause there.

No!

We'll watch the rest tomorrow. Open your books to page 30 and read the chapter about the Earth's
crust. Remember to take notes for the upcoming presentation. Everyone will read quietly by themselves. Do you hear that, Nils?

What?

Cecilia... Can I talk to you? I forgot to bring my book. Can I look for info online?

You can share the same book. Märta won't mind, right?

No.

There's so much more info online. And I love reading about the Earth's crust.

That's great, Sasha. But you know our mobile phone policy. Just share one book, it'll be fine. OK?

Cecilia?

Yes?

I need to use the bathroom.

Fine.

Hi, everyone. Welcome. My name is Sasha. My stomach really hurts, because I just ate a giant
crust... The Earth's crust.

Hi, everyone! Great to see so many people. My name is the Globe and I get upset when
you call me a cheap rubber ball.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

John?

Don't tell her I'm here.

John! Hi, Sasha.

Hi.

Is there someone else in here?

No.

Really?

Yes, it's just me.

Thanks. Cool hair.

Hey! What's your name?

Sasha.

Sasha, could you close this behind me?

Sure.

Great.

Want to join?

No.

Mom, I admit it. This feels really strange. But I can't keep reading books if I say I don't want to be like
you. You were always reading. You wallowed in people's misery. People who weren't even real.

Where are you leaving books?

Over there.

As soon as you finished one book you started on the next. It was like you wanted to be somewhere
else rather than here with me.

Hi. How's it going?

Hi. Yeah, good.

What's all this? What about the alcohol-free one you had last week? Wow! Look at you! Hi!

Hi!

Hi!

What's it like at home?

Fine.

Good. What did my dear brother say about your new haircut?

He was like: "What did you do?"

How are you?

Fine. I'm great.

Good. Me too. Thanks for asking.

How old is the youngest person who's done stand-up here?

Maybe 20 years old.

Hi, Sasha!

Hi.

Nice to see you. Love your hair.

Thanks.

Right... Do you think I could be a comedian?

You? A comedian? No, that's impossible. You need a sense of humor for that.

Really?

I'm joking. Is that what you want?

Mm. But I don't know if I can.

Come on! You're hilarious. For a child.

Shut up!

Come with me for a smoke and I'll tell you my best jokes.

Please... You know I'm trying to quit.

See! You've got talent. Come on.

Dad...

Mm?

Do you know why parents love their phones more than their kids?

No...

Phones never forget to tidy their rooms and if you bring them into the bathroom, they never complain
that your poop smells.

Is that from YouTube?

No, it's me. Thanks for dinner.

Sasha. Your plate.

I'll clear it later. I need to work on my presentation.

The Earth's crust...

I was just thinking... Wouldn't it be great to have a warm Earth's crust on a call wint... No.

I'm so happy that you're all here! Thank you!

Today, I'm a cucumber. I'm a cucumber. I am a cucumber.

Wouldn't it be absolutely great to have a glass of ice-cold water and a continental crust?

It might be too heavy. Don't blow out the candles. Can you really carry it?

Of course, I do.

Happy birthday to you
Happy Birthday to You Happy Birthday Dear Sasha Happy Birthday to You.

Four cheers for Sasha who turns 13 today!

Hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray!

Happy birthday, honey!

Thank you.

Now you can make a wish! Here are your presents.

Thank you.

There you go. And grandma wants a hug. Happy birthday, honey.

Thanks.

Your hair looks great! Like a little hedgehog.

Open them. That's from Grandma.

I know you're growing. So I'm not sure about the size.

This is really nice!

Do you think it'll fit?

Yes. Thank you so much.

My pleasure!

Now that one.

Mm.

Are those the right ones?

Yes. Thank you.

And then there's something else here... Something special.

Are you serious?

Yes. We're going to pick her up in six weeks. She's going to live here with us.

A dog, Sasha!

That's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Can I see it?

Yes.

Such a sweetheart! She's so cute. Will she be housetrained?

Of course not.

I'll come over all the time to take care of her.

I need to go to the bathroom.

What will we name her?

Grandma!

No. Definitely not.

I need to go to the bathroom. Away.

Mom... I can't take care of a dog. Even if I've always wanted one. Every Christmas, every
birthday. Last year, I also wished for one. But I was still happy for the sweater you got me. The sleeves are too short now, but I saved it. I keep it at the
bottom of the closet, by the knitted socks. It was the last birthday present you gave me.

What are you listening to?

Nothing. I want to be able to hear you.

It's a nice color.

Thanks.

What else did you get?

Not much.

OK. Oh, you have to look at this. A guy had surgery to become a tomato.

Why? Oh, shit!

He's a climate activist.

That doesn't help the climate. That's insane. It must be fake.

I think it's real.

OK. I have a gift for you.

OK...

Here you go.

Thank you.

Is it a book?

You'll see.

It's a notebook for your jokes.

That's great, Märta! Thank you.

You're welcome. Here's something else.

Hair color?

Yes, pink. It washes out.

OK...

Will you do it?

Yes.

Hello?

Hi!

Sorry I'm late.

That's OK. Did you have a good time?

Yes.

Hi!

Hi!

Happy birthday.

Thanks.

Here.

Nicely wrapped.

I like the color.

Thank you.

A dog leash! Isn't that genius? The color matches.

Thanks

You're welcome.

Pink?

Mm.

That's nice.

Thanks.

It washes out, right?

Yes.

Hi, Sasha! Wow, that looks great!

Thanks.

Well, Sasha... How does it feel to be a year older?

It's nothing special.

Although time passes, you feel the same inside. One day, you look in the mirror and think: "When did
this happen?" But it was...

What did Märta say when you told her you were getting a puppy? Was she shocked? You don't want to
talk about the puppy?

No.

No. OK.

This tasted great! Really.

Great.

Did something happen, or?

No. But maybe you should ask me if I want a dog before getting one.

What do you mean?

It's not like getting a sweater.

What's wrong?

Or, do you think it's the same?

I don't understand. Why are you so upset? You've always wanted a dog.

Yes, I wanted one before. But not anymore.

You've always loved dogs. What now?

I can't take care of a dog.

Honey, we'll do it together. You and me. I can come home on my lunch break. Ossie, maybe you can...?

Yes, she can stay with me.

No, it's impossible! I don't want to! Why the hell is there a chair here? Huh? No one's using it. Why
won't you move it?

Sasha...

You think you know what I need, but you don't understand a thing! I won't take care of a dog, because I
don't want one!

Stop it, please.

I can't talk to her. She won't go to the grave and she won't cry. She's just shutting down.
What the hell am I...

Yes, what the hell do you think I'm doing?

Dad was out looking for you all night. Him, Ossie and all the police officers.

You'd been gone for 23 hours and I was on my way to school.

Grandma said I should stay home, but I wanted to go there. To a place where everything
was like before.

When dad called, I could hardly hear what he said even with maximal volume. But I still
understood.

Dad told me to stay where I was. Ossie would come and pick me up. So I stayed where I
was.

And mom... I sometimes feel like I'm still there.

Hush! Hush! Calm down! Nils! Right, everyone! Please be silent. Thank you. It's Sasha's turn to tell
us about the Earth's crust. Sasha, go ahead.

Class 6C! I'm so excited to be here. I actually turned down a great job so I could be here for my
presentation. Yep. I was going to babysit. Isn't that crazy? Because I don't know anything. I don't know how to cook or how to change diapers and I can...

That's enough!

Eh... No, I don't know anything. I only know what it's like to be a child, since I am a child. It's like
saying: "You've been ill, so you can be our doctor."

Sasha, will your presentation start soon?

Yes.

6C! Wouldn't it be great with some ice-cold juice and crispy Earth's crust? But you'd better
watch out. Because once I bought a package that was past its use-by date. It was 4,000 million years old.

BOO!

Stop that!

Let's stop there for today, Sasha.

Mm.

OK. Hold your presentation another day when you're better prepared.

Mm.

Go back to your seat. Right, Martina is next up. Martina, you are going to tell us about the Earth's
mantle. Go ahead!

Sasha? Sasha! What were you doing in there? Was it a bet or something? I hope she's well paid. I
would have died if that was me.

Me too.

Sasha! Wait!

We really need new tomatoes. We really need new tomatoes now. Sasha. Hello, make a new salad.
Come on! Sasha! Make a new salad.

What are you doing?

Valter! Out of the way! Out of the way!

What are you doing?

Valter! Out of the way! Mom! Come get Valter!

Valter, pass the salt.

This was good.

You think so?

Valter.

Hey...

Valter, come on!

What is this dish called?

It's palak paneer.

Really?

No, that's unfair!

No, I told you it was good. You all heard that I told you it was good.

Mom, tell Valter to stop!

Valter! God, what are you doing? Stop it! Märta wants the salt. Don't do that, Valter. Stop it!

I don't love you anymore. You're not my mom!

That makes me sad to hear, because I love you so much. Valter, honey... Sorry. Are you
OK? Hey, Valter... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I was rude. Honey...

I need to go home now. But this was great.

But...there's ice-cream for dessert.

No, dad is waiting for me.

We can have the ice-cream right away because it was not tasty.

Yes, we can. No problem. No problem. It's... Well...

No, I still need to leave, so... See you tomorrow.

OK. Tell your dad we said hi.

Say hi to Abbe.

Bye!

Bye!

How do you feel today?

Cranky and abnormal.

I told Sasha before that I think it's important... that she talks about difficult things. That she has nothing
to prove by being happy and normal, so to speak. And that it's not about...

Do you know why dad dragged me here?

Tell me.

Because I don't want a dog and I never cry. But not everyone cries. And if I'd been a guy, it would be
fine. It would be perfectly normal.

What? I'm a boy and I still cry. I just think...

You fucking cry all the time. You cry if there is a plastic bag swirling around in the air. How normal is
that?

Abbe, maybe I can talk to Sasha in private?

Yes... That might be a good idea. I'll be right outside if...

What are you thinking about?

Nothing.

Maybe you know what you're thinking, but not how to say it.

I need to take this. Hello? No. What? Seriously?

On the 13th and 14th in Örebro. And on the 28th in Norrköping. Yes.

Hi. Look who's here. Do you recognize her?

Mm.

You recognize her? You've seen her on YouTube, right?

Mm.

Can I call you later? No, e-mail me those dates. Yes. Great. Thanks a lot, bye! Hello! So you're
Sasha? Hi! My name is Angela.

Can't you give us some pointers? Like, what's important to think about? How do you come up with your
jokes?

Listen... In this game you need to be extremely critical of yourself. You need to be able to talk
about everything bad in your life. Just... Get it? I... I talk about everything that sucks about my life. Like this, see? I sweat so much! If this place caught fire
right now, Sasha. No worries. I alone could put the fire out. Believe me! Every piece of ember. Not even a spark left. These armpits... No fires are lit around
these. But... Yes, some pointers for you. First: No one wants to hear about successful people. They want to hear how everything goes to hell. Start making
a list of all the bad things that have happened. Let's give it a try right now. What's the worst thing that happened to you? Anything. Shoot.

Like, I remember when I wasn't invited to a party. Something like that.

You didn't know that.

No, but still, still. I feel like a fucking idiot!

Hi, girl.

Hi.

Hi. How did it go?

With peeing? It went great.

I was just thinking, Sasha... I'm performing here in a couple of weeks. I'll be on stage for 15 minutes. I
was just thinking that I could give you 3 minutes of my time to perform if you want to. I really believe in you, Sasha.

Seriously?

No. Preferably funny.

But do you want to?

Mm.

Yes! I can be your manager, right?

You're so sweet! So sweet you are. You'll be great.

Jump. Good. Lie down. Lie down. Roll over. Roll over. Roll over... Lie down. Roll over. Roll over. Roll
over. Good girl!

What the hell?

Sorry.

Very funny. It almost hit you...

Is that your dog?

No, I stole it from outside the store. Do you want to see a trick?

Sure.

Here... Here. Up. Jump. Good! Dance. Dance. There, there, there. Look, she's crazy. Roll over. Roll
over. Good girl! Here. Come on, let's go. Come on! Yes, come on! Yes, good girl!

What kind of trick is that?

Simon says.

Isn't your name John?

Yes, that's right. Good girl!

Make me laugh.

It's not easy to do on cue.

What, isn't that the deal?

Fine...

Do you write down your jokes?

Yes.

OK. Sorry.

Right, be quiet. I'm afraid of flying...

Have you started?

Yes! Do you want to hear it or not?

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

I'm afraid of flying, so... that's why I love climate change. Whenever I take the train I'm considered an
environmental hero. But I'm really just a coward.

Right, nice! One more.

Right. Why can't you put up a boar for adoption?

Why? Let's hear it.

Because you get a-boar-tion.

You're cool. But I don't get it.

What the hell...

Hey! Do you have anger issues, or what? You get it back.

Go to hell.

OK, mom. In my opinion I'm quite good at not being like you. I have no hair and I don't read books. And
I don't take care of anything that's alive. All I need to do now is become a comedy queen. Do you remember when you said some people have funny
bones? They're just funny in themselves. And some people are never funny no matter how hard they try.

Sasha... Are you still up?

No! Good night.

Honey... You're lying the wrong way.

No! Good night!

Hey...

Bye!

I'm afraid dad might be one of those people.

Good night, honey.

But I'm going to make him laugh. I'm going to get funny bones.

Listen. There was vomit on that bench this morning.

I have some on me!

Very funny, Sasha!

Stop teasing.

But why? Listen... Do you know what I tell people who think I have anger issues?

No.

Shut up!

Did you think of that now?

No, yesterday. OK, what about this? I think that dad is imitating me. When I shaved my hair his hair
suddenly went thinner.

Good!

Promise you'll be there.

Of course, I will. Have you told your dad?

No. It'll be a surprise. Don't tell him.

What are you doing?!

Do you have anger issues, or what?

Shut up!

Do you know him?

No.

Friends, and especially rabbits, do you know what social media is? Hey... No. But I do, and I hate
it. You might see posts like this: "Feel sorry for me. No one gets me, I'm so sad." You start wondering what the hell might have happened. But when you
ask, they say: "I don't want to talk about it." OK, so please don't.

What are you doing?

Talking to rabbits. What are you doing?

Talking to rabbits?

Yes. They're more intelligent than some.

That's so crazy!

We know you're seeing a psychologist, but not that you're this crazy.

Shut up.

Is it normal to talk to rabbits?

Shut up!

Let's go.

Wait. Why are you always so nasty? It's not OK. But no one tells you off, because they feel sorry for
you.

Shut up!

Hey. Come on, let's go.

Careful, so you don't go fucking crazy like your mom.

Help, she's fucking crazy!

Wait!

Hey, Tyra! This way!

What's wrong with you? Ow! Seriously! My jacket! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Let me go!

I fucking hate you!

It really hurts! Ow! Ow!

Do you hear me!

Please, let go of my hair!

Stop it! Let her go!

Ow, ow!

You're a fucking lunatic!

I've slept alright. I usually do sleep alright. I got a good night sleep. I take a siesta every
now and then.

I'll just talk to her first. Yes, I understand. OK, fine. Talk to you later. Great. Thanks for calling. Good.
Thanks. Bye. Sasha! Sasha, come here!

She must have said or done something. Hey! Fine... I know you don't like Tyra. You know what? Neither
do I. But this is different. You tore up her jacket. Tell me, what did she do?

Nothing.

Fine. Good. In that case you can talk to her directly. We'll go there and you can tell her you're sorry. I
drive you. Come one.

No way.

Come on!

Honey... Sweetheart... You know what, this just isn't working. Cecilia wrote me an e-mail.
She said you refuse to read books in school. You need to start talking to me now.

I won't apologize.

Fine, OK. OK. Why not? Sasha? Hey! Come on, talk to me. What the hell am I supposed to do? You
threatened her! You tore up her jacket! It's serious!

I don't want to! I'll never apologize! I'd rather kill myself!

Never say that again.

I'm going to get the jacket now, so you can fix it.

Fuck!

I think you've been a real trooper, Sasha. I want you to know that. I'm just worried about the fact that
you won't read books. Does it feel difficult or...?

No.

You can tell us if it does.

It's not difficult. It's just pointless. Everything is available online.

Don't say that.

Why not? You say that. Dad is addicted to the Internet.

No, I'm not. It's not the same. It's work, right?

Is it? Do you get paid to play games while taking a dump?

Stop it.

Good for you.

Stop it.

Cajsa, what do you want?

I need my pens.

Fine, take them and leave.

Can I leave?

Definitely not. We need to talk about Tyra.

That she's an idiot?

You know, that guy who had surgery to look like a tomato? Apparently, he's in a coma now.

Maybe he'll be a tomato for real then. People who are just lying there are called vegetables. That's
actually a good joke.

But it's really sad. He was only 22 years old. Too young to die

Don't you understand that it's fake? You're such a jerk, Märta. I'm about to perform, but you dis my
jokes.

No, I don't.

Sure you do. You always want jokes to be kind and cute. That's not how humor works!

John, come here! John! Come back down! It's dangerous!

What's wrong with him?

What's wrong with you?

Sasha! Sasha!

John! John!

Hey.

Hi.

Where are you going?

I don't know.

Sasha!

Want to join? I have money. My treat.

Sasha, wait!

Where are we going?

Hornstull.

Hornstull?

Yes.

I do think you're funny.

Wait.

But you shouldn't joke about a person in a coma. Mom says you should joke about yourself, and not
about others.

OK. My mom forgot to tell me that before she killed herself.

That's not what I meant.

Then why did you say that? You think you get it, but you don't! And you're so fucking boring. You don't
get my jokes and you have no sense of humor.

We have math class now. I'm going back.

Good.

Is everything OK?

I just can't deal with her right now.

Hurry up!

Stop that, boys!

Look at those sneakers. They're so nice! And very rare.

I'm sure they're expensive.

I'll get a pair if I stay with my dad every other weekend. He has... He has moved now.

Where?

I don't know.

Do you want to make some money?

OK.

Hi.

Hello.

There was this guy who wanted to become a tomato. But the surgery failed and he ended up in a
coma. When his friend came to see him in the hospital, he said: "Come on, ketchup. Let's go."

That's the worst joke I've ever heard. For real.

Walk behind those kids and do a dance.

Dance behind the kids?

Mm.

Easy.

Look, kids, I'm dancing! Come on! Look!

How long have you known that your parents are getting a divorce?

I don't know. But it's probably for the best. At least it won't be worse.

When did...?

Last fall.

Here... Throw a piece of candy and I'll catch it in my mouth.

What?

Throw one. I'll catch it.

OK...

Oh!

That wasn't fair. OK. Again. Focus. Focus.

Wow!

Come on, I have an idea. Stand there.

Here?

What are you doing? Climb down.

I have great balance. Come on. Throw one.

It's not funny! Climb down! What the hell are you doing? I'm going to leave.

It's my candy!

Goodbye!

Fuck!

John? John!

Admit it, I tricked you.

Fuck you!

Sasha... Sasha, stop! Sasha! Sasha, stop! Where are you going? Stop.

Don't touch me! Don't touch me! You fucking idiot!

I thought you were funny! You have no sense of humor. It was a joke!

Mom... This isn't working. It's just all a mess.

All those times you were just lying in bed. All those times you didn't come along. To
Grandma, to school. To parties. You were always sad. You cried every day.

I couldn't bring friends over. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't take it anymore.

So once... Once when you were at your worst I thought it would be better if you died. And
then you did.

Come on.

Hi!

Hi! Tyra.

Hey.

Hi. I'm sorry I tore up your jacket.

I'm sorry if I were mean to you or something.

Yes... Well done, girls. You were brave to come here, Sasha. Things haven't been easy
for Tyra in the past year. We moved here from Gothenburg after her dad and me separated.

Oh, right.

Right, Tyra? Are you also divorced?

Mom...

Oh... God, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that...

It's really OK. I think we need to leave to go... So... Take care. Bye.

Sorry.

That's so embarrassing!

I didn't know.

Hey, does it fit? Let me see. Wow!

I look crazy.

That's because you are crazy, Sasha! What about this?

No, thanks. Did you tell dad?

No, he doesn't suspect a thing. I promise. He thinks it's an ordinary gig. This one!

But seriously.

It's so cool! And Grandma will be there too.

What? Did you invite her too?

Yes. It will be great. You're the best and it will be a success. I'm sure.

I'll find something on my own.

OK. Then I'll try this on.

Sasha! Look - stand-up tomorrow!

Hi and welcome. I'm Märta and I will teach you to play the banjo.

What are you doing?

Valter, get out.

What are you doing?

Valter, I said get out! Do you hear me? Out! If you don't know what a banjo sounds like, I'll play a song
for you.

What's wrong?

Couldn't you just become thin-haired?

What?

No, nothing...

Mom... You know, it's all your fault. It's your fault that dad is crying and that Märta thinks I'm an
idiot. Even if I said sorry several times.

How will I make dad laugh? I'm not even laughing anymore.

Hi, everyone. Welcome. My name is Sasha, and... No.

Are you sure you're not coming?

Yes. I have a headache.

You could call Märta if you want some company.

Mm.

You actually don't look well.

What? No, I'm fine. I'm fine.

I could just cancel.

No, Grandma is waiting. Please, go.

I know, but I don't want to leave you when you're not well.

I'm fine. Really. You need to leave. Or I'll be furious.

OK.

Goodbye

Bye. I'm just going to... Righ. Yes.

Right. Bye.

See you soon. Love you.

Wait. Wait...

Thanks.

Tell Grandma and Ossie I said hi.

I will.

Bye.

Sasha! Sasha! Here! Come on! Come on. You're about to go on. How do you feel?

Mm...

What?

Come on.

Mm.

We need to get you backstage before they arrive. This will be epic! Look.

Hi, Sasha! Welcome!

Listen... You will be great. You're the best. I need to go.

You know Sally.

Hi, Sasha.

Rico. Sasha. Sasha. Rico.

Hi, Sasha. You will be great.

This is The Sasha.

OK.

She's amazing

Sasha... I almost thought you wouldn't come. I've sweated like 2,000 extra litres, besides
my 40.

Hey... Do you want some potato chips? No? Do you want the volcano?

I think she needs that.

Do you want the volcano?

I think she... Yes.

Give me an S.

S

Give me an A.

A

Give me an S,

S

Give me an H

H

Give me an A.

A

What is that?

Sasha!

The only good thing about being short, besides being very popular, is that if you fall over you're very
close to... the ground! Life is short! Wonderful things are short! Thank you so much! You are great!

You will be great.

Great! Thank you very much. It's time for our next guest, someone I'm very jealous of. She gets a
weekly allowance and doesn't need to wash her own clothes. Our next guest is a child. Give a warm welcome to our youngest comedian at Kamikaze
Comedy's youngest comedian, all time. Welcome on stage, Sasha!

Märta! Here. Come here.

Hi, I'm Sasha.

Hello.

When I found out that I was going to do stand-up in a bar for adults I went to the hair salon and
said: "Give me a haircut so I can get in at nightclubs without having to beg." But he thought I said I wanted a haircut that made me look like an egg.

Did you know that people get angry if you scratch an eczema in public? At least when it's
not your own. Oh, God! Hey... You look like you have really bad eczema. Huh? Can I scratch it?

No, thanks.

Just a little?

No.

No? OK. That's fine, really. Everyone's allowed to be just the way they are.

And... My dad is here tonight. Over there.

Hi.

A funny thing about my dad is that he's obsessed with his hat.

No!

Yes, it's true. He brings it everywhere.

Here it is!

There it is! He loves his hat because he thinks it makes him look cool. No!

Jeez, just look what I have to put up with. But I'm sorry, dad... You're good at a lot of things. You really
are. But not at being cool. Sometimes I ask you when I don't know if something looks good. If you say yes, then I know that it's really, really... ...out of
fashion. And here's a last one. Why can't you put up a boar for adoption? Because you'll get a-boar-tion. Thank you, that's all I wanted to say.

You've always been funny.

She's a natural. Märta, you must be proud.

I am.

Did you know?

Yes.

You did? You...

Did you suspect anything?

No, I had no idea.

And that poor eczema woman. You could tell that she had an eczema. For sure.

I miss Mom!

Me too.

Why... Why isn't she here?

I miss her so much.

Yes. That's not a problem. I can do it this afternoon. I can just send it by e-mail. Mm... Yes. Look, I
need to go now. I need to take care of my daughter. Yes, of course. Take care. Bye.

Hi, honey.

Hi.

I mostly write jokes.

I get that. Is today a bad day?

Come here!

How long have you had this place?

About ten years. These are the breeds we keep.

Maybe... Billie?

Lillemor?

Are you insane?

That was the name of my needlework teacher.

Right. Is that an argument? Then she might as well be called Mats.

But? Like your woodwork teacher?

Mom's favorite song.

...take me home To the place I belong West Virginia, mountain mama Take me home, country roads

All my memories gather 'round her Miner's lady, stranger to blue water Dark and dusty, painted on the
sky Misty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eye

Country roads, take me home To the place I belong West Virginia, mountain mama Take
me home, country roads

I hear her voice in the mornin' hour, she calls me The radio reminds me of my home far away
Drivin' down the road, I get a feelin' That I should've been home...

...yesterday, yesterday Country roads, take me home To the place I belong West Virginia,
mountain mama Take me home, country roads

Mom... You know, Märta's banjo channel? We run it together now. Banjo Baby and The Egg. Get
it? Our best video has 147 views.

But that's mostly from dad watching it.

This is Fuffe. But her real name is Fudge. You'd love her ears. They're so soft.

Right... I need to go now. But I promise I'll be back soon. I promise.

Come on, Fuffe. Come!