Original subtitles

[RAYMOND FAFARD]: WE WENT TO A MOVIE AND...

AND WE WERE PLAYING KNEESIES...

AND I WAS FEELING SO EXCITED!

I WAS TREMBLING,

I THOUGHT MY HEART WAS GOING TO BURST.

AND THEN, HE INVITED ME OVER TO HIS PLACE...

AND...

THE EXPERIENCE WAS OVERWHELMING.

[RENE OUELLETTE]: MY FIRST RELATIONSHIPS - LIKE MANY GUYS IN MY SITUATION -

THEY WERE JUST QUICKIES IN A PARK, A PUBLIC PLACE.

I CAN HARDLY REMEMBER THEM.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE GUYS.

THEY WERE PURELY PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIPS.

[ALAIN THIBAULT]: FIRST THERE'S THE COCK,

AND THE GUY SUCKING COCK, AND THE GUY BEING FUCKED,

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU SEE 2 GAYS TOGETHER.

YOU CAN'T IMAGINE TWO GAYS CARESSING EACH OTHER,

OR LOVING EACH OTHER, OR BEING TENDER...

IT'S ALMOST AS IF WE'RE NOT ENTITLED TO THAT IMAGE.

-WHEN I WAS IN THE NOVITIATE,

THERE WAS A CEREMONY DURING WHICH WE HAD TO STAND UP

AND, IN THE NAME OF CHRISTIAN CHARITY, LIST THE FAULTS OF OUR CLASSMATES.

FOR EXAMPLE, "HE FALLS ASLEEP DURING THE SERMON"

OR, "HE PICKS FIGHTS."

IT WAS ONE OF THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE...

ALL OR ALMOST ALL THE STUDENTS

- AND THERE WERE ABOUT 50 OF US - GOT UP AND SAID,

"FATHER, I ACCUSE MY FELLOW NOVICE OF HAVING A SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP."

THAT EXPRESSION CAME UP AT LEAST 40 TIMES.

I WAS UTTERLY DESTROYED.

-FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER,

I KNEW I WAS GAY. IT BECAME A PROBLEM DURING MY ADOLESCENCE.

MY MOTHER WORKED IN A HAIRDRESSING SALON, WITH PEOPLE WHO WERE HOMOSEXUAL,

AND MY FATHER WAS ALWAYS MAKING SNIDE REMARKS ABOUT THEM.

BUT I KNEW THAT I WAS LIKE THOSE PEOPLE, SO...

IT WAS VERY HARD ON ME.

BUT TO PLEASE MY FAMILY AND THE PEOPLE AROUND ME, I DECIDED

- THOUGH IT WAS HARDLY A CHOICE -

THAT I'D LEAD A HETEROSEXUAL LIFE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON,

TO CURE MYSELF OF MY DIFFERENCE.

[YVES MARTIN]: YOU SAID A COUPLE OF TIMES,

"DAMN IT, WHY AM I A FAGGOT?! WHY AM I GAY?"

AND I ANSWERED, "WELL, THAT'S THE WAY YOU ARE.

"YOU WERE BORN THAT WAY, THAT'S YOUR CONDITION.

YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE IT, THAT'S THE WAY YOU ARE."

THAT REALLY GOT TO ME!

PEOPLE WHO KNOW MARTIN KNOW HE'S FULL OF LIFE.

HE'S VERY CHARMING,

A GUY WHO REALLY KNOWS HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME,

AND I HATED TO HEAR HIM TALK ABOUT HIMSELF LIKE THAT.

[RAYMOND FAFARD]: I HAD A MAJOR PROBLEM OF A RELIGIOUS NATURE.

THINGS WERE NOT RIGHT BETWEEN MY CONFESSOR AND MYSELF.

I TOLD HIM I WAS WITH SOMEONE

AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO RECONCILE MY SEXUAL RELATIONS

WITH ALWAYS COMING TO SEEK ABSOLUTION.

AND HE TOLD ME POINTBLANK,

"YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. IF YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU ABSOLUTION,

YOU MUST LEAVE YOUR FRIEND. THINK IT OVER."

I THOUGHT IT OVER FOR ONE WHOLE NIGHT

AND THEN I TOLD HIM, "I'VE MADE UP MY MIND.

"MY PERSONAL TRUTH IS THE LOVE

I HAVE FOR MY FRIEND."

THAT'S WHAT MADE IT VERY DIFFICULT TO LOVE.

BUT I PREFERRED TO ACCEPT MYSELF FOR WHO I WAS,

AND I GAVE UP MY RELIGION.

[ALAIN THIBAULT]: THE DESIRE WAS ALWAYS THERE,

BUT I NEVER GAVE IN TO IT, BECAUSE OF RELIGION.

I BELIEVED IN MARRIAGE, AND THAT MARRIAGE IS INDISSOLUBLE.

AND WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN THAT,

- AND YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IN ANYTHING ELSE -

WHEN YOU HAVE IDEAS THAT ARE HOMOSEXUAL AND YOU'VE GOT MEN ON THE BRAIN, WHAT DO YOU DO?

YOU SUPPRESS THOSE THOUGHTS, BECAUSE THEY'RE FORBIDDEN.

AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

-ONE DAY MY FATHER CAME HOME AND HE SAID,

"WHATEVER YOUR PROBLEM IS, WE'RE READY TO HELP YOU."

ESPECIALLY AS I WAS THEIR ONLY SON.

BUT ONCE HE KNEW WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS,

HE COULDN'T HELP ME, BECAUSE OF THE PREJUDICE AND SHAME HE FELT.

[L. GAGLIARDI]: WHAT WAS THE PROBLEM?

-THE FACT THAT I HAD COME OUT.

IT MIGHT HAVE WORKED IF I HAD BEEN PREPARED TO PRETEND

THAT MY LOVER WAS MY ROOMMATE

AND THAT WE WERE JUST SHARING LIVING EXPENSES...

OR IF I CAME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS BY MYSELF.

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL RIGHT.

[MARTIN BOULIANE]: I LOVED MY PARENTS.

I THINK THEY KNEW ABOUT MY SEXUAL ORIENTATION, BUT WE...

WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT.

ONCE MY MOTHER FOUND GAY MAGAZINES IN MY ROOM.

AFTER THAT SHE ALWAYS LEFT MY CLEAN CLOTHES OUTSIDE THE DOOR.

SHE NEVER CAME INTO MY ROOM AGAIN.

I WANTED TO SPARE THEM. MAYBE IT WAS ONLY A QUESTION...

OF NOT CONFRONTING THEM... SO I NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT.

WHEN THEY DIED, I FELT RELIEVED.

I WOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL THEM.

-MY FATHER PUT IT PRETTY PLAINLY.

HE SAID I COULD COME TO THE HOUSE WHENEVER I LIKED, BUT MY LOVER COULDN'T.

SO I TOLD HIM THAT IF HE COULDN'T COME, I WOULDN'T EITHER.

IN ANY CASE, THE ONLY THING HE HAD AGAINST DENIS WAS BEING WHAT I WAS MYSELF.

SO WHATEVER HE HAD AGAINST HIM, HE HAD AGAINST ME TOO.

I WASN'T INTERESTED

IN MAINTAINING A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER.

I NEEDED ALL MY ENERGY TO ACCEPT MYSELF AS I WAS.

I DIDN'T HAVE ENERGY LEFT OVER TO MAKE OTHERS ACCEPT ME.

I HAD TO FOCUS ON MYSELF, THEN ON MYSELF AND MY LOVER,

AND THEN ON THE PEOPLE WHO ACCEPTED AND LOVED ME AS I WAS.

THOSE WHO COULDN'T WERE DROPPED PRETTY QUICKLY.

[BENOIT MIGNEAULT]: WHEN YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO LIVE

YOUR HOMOSEXUALITY FULLY, TO COME OUT, TO TALK ABOUT IT...

I DON'T MEAN TO... WAVE A FLAG AND CONSTANTLY REFER TO YOUR HOMOSEXUALITY,

BUT TO LIVE IT NORMALLY... THEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

YOU HAVE TO SPEAK OUT AND SAY,

"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO WALK ALONG THE STREET

WITHOUT BEING ATTACKED JUST BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO LOOK GAY!"

[SYLVAIN BISSONNETTE]: FOR A POLICEMAN TO BE ABLE TO SAY,

"ALL RIGHT! LISTEN, GUYS, I'M GAY."

I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT HAPPEN ANYWHERE... IT'LL PROBABLY HAPPEN SOME DAY.

BUT SOMEONE IN THAT SITUATION, BEFORE HE COMES OUT,

I THINK HE'LL TAKE HIS TIME AND LOOK AROUND AT THE PEOPLE

HE'S WORKING WITH, AND GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO APPRECIATE HIM AS A PERSON,

SO THAT AFTERWARDS THEY'LL JUST SAY,

"OUR COLLEAGUE IS GAY..."

OR MOSLEM, OR WHATEVER.

"HE'S A PERSON WITH A DIFFERENCE."

I THINK THE PERSON WOULD FEEL MORE CONFIDENT AFTER OPENING UP,

FEEL FREER.

IT MUST BE HARD FOR SOMEONE TO GO TO WORK AND TRY TO ACT NORMAL

IT MUST BE HARD FOR SOMEONE TO GO TO WORK AND TRY TO ACT NORMAL

WHEN DEEP DOWN INSIDE, HE FEELS VERY DIFFERENT.

IT WOULD BE VERY VERY DIFFICULT TO WORK.

[PIERRE BELANGER]: AND WE REFLECT SOCIETY'S ATTITUDES.

SO WE HAVE TO ASK, "HAS SOCIETY FULLY ACCEPTED HOMOSEXUALS,

OR DO PEOPLE STILL HAVE RESERVATIONS?"

[RENE OUELLETTE]: I'M VERY HAPPY TO COME AND SPEAK TO YOU TODAY

BECAUSE, IN A WAY, I'VE BEEN THROUGH WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW.

I WAS A POLICEMAN FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS.

AND THEN, AFTER 10 YEARS, I HAD TO MAKE A CHOICE.

THE QUESTION OF HOMOSEXUALITY AND THE POLICE WAS...

WELL, THERE WAS NO PUBLIC DEBATE IN THOSE DAYS.

IT WASN'T AS EASY AS IT IS TODAY...

SO I DECIDED TO HAND IN MY RESIGNATION.

WE'RE NOW WORKING TOWARDS BRINGING GAYS AND THE POLICE

CLOSER TOGETHER.

THERE'S STILL WORK TO BE DONE ON BOTH SIDES.

MORE AND MORE, WE'RE CLAIMING FOR OUR COMMUNITY

A CULTURAL DIMENSION

BASED ON OUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION.

WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL BECAUSE USUALLY, CULTURAL COMMUNITIES MEAN ETHNO-CULTURAL COMMUNITIES,

AND WE ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT AN ETHNIC COMMUNITY.

BUT WE ARE A CULTURAL COMMUNITY, WITH OUR OWN VALUES AND OUR OWN WAY OF DOING THINGS,

WHICH IS NOT NECESSARILY THE SAME AS IN... SOCIETY AT LARGE.

THESE DIFFERENCES LEAD THE POLICE TO APPLY,

- AND SOMETIMES ABUSIVELY, AS FAR AS WE'RE CONCERNED, YOU MAY NOT AGREE -

CERTAIN LAWS AND ARTICLES OF THE CRIMINAL CODE

WHICH DEAL WITH MORALITY.

THE TROUBLE IS THAT THERE'S A STANDARDIZED CRIMINAL CODE

AND A JURISPRUDENCE WHICH DEFINE PORNOGRAPHY FROM A HETEROSEXUAL VIEWPOINT.

AND WHEN THOSE HETEROSEXUAL STANDARDS ARE IMPOSED ON MY COMMUNITY, THEY DON'T FIT.

THAT'S WHY IT'S IMPORTANT FOR THE TWO GROUPS TO MEET

AND LEARN TO SPEAK TO EACH OTHER.

WE WANT TO SHOW YOU THAT WE'RE JUST PEOPLE, JUST ORDINARY PEOPLE...

NO WORSE, NO BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE.

-WHEN I FOUND OUT I WOULD BE WORKING IN THE GAY VILLAGE, LET ME TELL YOU...

I HAD TO DEAL WITH MY OWN PREJUDICE.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF AN APPROACH TO TAKE!

HOW WAS I GOING TO WORK?

IN THOSE DAYS, I THOUGHT OF HOMOSEXUALS AS GUYS WHO WERE EITHER VERY EFFEMINATE

OR THE OTHER EXTREME, "MACHO LEATHER MEN"...

AND I THOUGHT, CHRIST! WHEN I GO INTO ONE OF THOSE PLACES

AND I LOOK AT ONE OF THEM,

WILL HE WANT TO KISS ME OR WHAT?

-LOTS OF GAYS HIDE BEHIND A FACADE OF NORMALITY.

THEY PLAY THE ROLE OF A HETEROSEXUAL.

JUST LAST WEEK, AGAIN,

- AND WE'RE GETTING MORE AND MORE OF THESE CALLS AT THE CENTRE -

A GUY IN HIS FORTIES, HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS, WIFE AND KIDS... SKIDOO,

PILLAR OF THE COMMUNITY TYPE THING...

HE PHONES IN A STATE OF PANIC,

"I CAN'T HIDE THE FACT THAT I'M GAY ANYMORE. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?"

THAT CREATES A LOT OF PROBLEMS.

BUT SOONER OR LATER, PEOPLE WHO LIVE LIKE THAT

JUST CAN'T KEEP UP THE PRETENSE AND THEY HAVE TO... COME OUT.

-BUT DO YOU AGREE WITH THAT?

I KNOW THAT IF MY FATHER WALKED OUT TOMORROW

AND ANNOUNCED THAT HE WAS GAY, IT WOULD BE QUITE A SHOCK.

MY FRIENDS WOULD REALLY START TO LOOK AT ME AND...

I COME FROM A SMALL PLACE SO WE'D BE THE TALK OF THE TOWN!

-I CAN'T SAY I AGREE, AND I DO UNDERSTAND.

BUT WHAT I'M TELLING YOU IS THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE

WHO, UNABLE TO FACE THE REJECTION THAT COMES WITH BEING OPENLY HOMOSEXUAL,

PRETEND TO BE HETEROSEXUALS.

[PIERRE BELANGER]: SOMEONE WHO'S MARRIED AND HAS CHILDREN BUT HAS HOMOSEXUAL TENDENCIES,

WHO COMES TO THE VILLAGE FOR AN EVENING WILL BE LESS APT TO COOPERATE WITH US.

WHO COMES TO THE VILLAGE FOR AN EVENING WILL BE LESS APT TO COOPERATE WITH US.

IF HE GETS ROBBED, HE USUALLY WON'T FILE A COMPLAINT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT IT MADE PUBLIC.

BUT A MAN WHO LIVES HIS HOMOSEXUALITY FULLY

WILL BEHAVE LIKE ANY OTHER CITIZEN.

-THERE'S ALSO ANOTHER ONE, ON THE OTHER SIDE.

IT'S CALLED...

LES CHAMBRETTES DU VILLAGE.

THERE'S ALSO... YOU SEE THE HUGE BUILDING OVER THERE? -HUH, HUH.

[RENE OUELLETTE]: THE DAY THAT MEN AND WOMEN ARE NO LONGER ASHAMED OF THEIR HOMOSEXUALITY,

THE DAY THEY STOP HIDING THAT FACT,

THEY'LL BE ABLE TO FILE A COMPLAINT. BECAUSE THEN, THERE WILL BE NOTHING

ANYONE CAN HOLD AGAINST THEM.

WHEN THEY CAN HAVE STABLE RELATIONSHIPS, MAYBE THEY'LL START HAVING SAFE SEX.

WE'VE REACHED A POINT NOW WHERE OUR MESSAGES DON'T GET THROUGH.

WHY BOTHER TELLING PEOPLE TO USE CONDOMS? THEY ALREADY KNOW THAT.

WHY BOTHER TELLING PEOPLE NOT TO GO INTO PARKS AT NIGHT BECAUSE IT'S DANGEROUS?

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT... BUT THE PARKS ARE STILL FULL. WHY?

WHEN A GAY ISN'T READY TO COME OUT, WHERE IS HE SUPPOSED TO GO?

[BENOIT MIGNEAULT]: I'D MUCH PREFER SOMEONE WHO HAS A REAL COMING-OUT AT HIS WORKPLACE.

[FRANCOIS FILION]: SOME PEOPLE CAN'T.

-I KNOW, BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ACT SUPER STRAIGHT AT WORK

AND THEN, GO TO STREET DEMONSTRATIONS WAVING SIGNS.

IT DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE.

-YOU CAN'T ALWAYS COME OUT AT WORK.

TRY WORKING AT GENERAL MOTORS AND TELLING YOUR COWORKERS

YOU'RE GAY! -YEAH, I KNOW.

[NADIM MOGHRABI]: YOU DON'T COME OUT IN THE GAY WORLD.

YOU COME OUT IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD, WITH YOUR PARENTS, AT UNIVERSITY, AT WORK...

IT TAKES SOMEBODY WHO'S PRETTY TOGETHER.

-YOU'RE COMPARING APPLES AND ORANGES! I MEAN, YOUR PARENTS, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR FRIENDS,

THAT'S ONE THING. BUT WHERE YOU WORK, THAT'S NOT THE SAME.

-SOME LAWYERS IN THE STATES HAVE COME OUT PUBLICLY.

-A LAWYER ISN'T A CONSTRUCTION WORKER!

-NO, IT'S TOUGH TO COME OUT IN ANY JOB.

-I KNOW IT'S DIFFICULT EVERYWHERE,

BUT SOME PLACES ARE MUCH MORE CLOSED...

I ALWAYS COME BACK TO THE CONSTRUCTION WORKERS AND I COULD FIND OTHER EXAMPLES,

BUT I MEAN... YOU'RE WITH THESE GUYS EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK

AND THEY'RE ALWAYS MAKING CRACKS ABOUT GAYS, REALLY DISGUSTING STUFF.

YOU'RE NOT ABOUT TO SAY, OVER A BALONEY SANDWICH,

"WELL, YESTERDAY, MY LOVER TOLD ME..."

-AS A HETEROSEXUAL, I WORKED WITH MARTIN, AND WE HAD TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

WE HAD TO GET USED TO WHO WE WERE AS PEOPLE.

-AND WE TOOK THE TIME TO DO IT.

IT WAS YEARS BEFORE I HAD MALE HETEROSEXUAL FRIENDS.

LIKE, I DIDN'T ALWAYS FEEL AT EASE WITH THEM...

AND WITH YOU, WELL...

THERE ARE NO MORE BARRIERS.

-IT'S A PERSON-TO-PERSON RELATIONSHIP.

-AND THAT'S REASSURING, BECAUSE AT SOME POINT,

EVEN AT 37 YEARS OLD,

YOU'RE CONSTANTLY HAVING TO WATCH WHAT YOU ARE SAYING,

AT WORK, WITH PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW TOO WELL. THERE ARE ALWAYS 2 LEVELS

OF CONVERSATION GOING ON.

-THIS IS A LETTER FROM MY MOTHER.

IT'S PRETTY HEAVY...

HUH...

"YOU ASKED ME IF YOU WERE EFFEMINATE.

"I LIED TO YOU, BECAUSE I WAS VERY UPSET.

"YES, BENOIT, YOU HAVE A VERY EFFEMINATE MANNER, WHICH YOU EMPHASIZE BY THE WAY YOU DRESS,

"THE WAY YOU SPEAK, YOUR ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR.

"IT IS PERFECTLY OBVIOUS WHAT YOU ARE. I'VE BEEN AROUND GAYS FOR MANY YEARS,

"AND I RESPECT AND LIKE THEM A LOT.

"ONLY THEY DON'T FLAUNT THEIR MARGINALITY.

"THEY LIVE IT WITH DIGNITY. THEY DON'T DENY WHO THEY ARE,

"BUT THEY UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE OTHER KINDS OF PEOPLE TOO.

"THEY KNOW THAT TO IMPOSE THEIR DIFFERENCE WOULD ONLY HARM THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS.

"THEY DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO CONVINCE ANYBODY. THEY ARE WHO THEY ARE.

"I WON'T TELL YOU WHAT PEOPLE SAID AFTER YOU LEFT, BECAUSE YOU WOULD ONLY BE HURT.

I HAVE NO REGRETS. I'M ONLY TRYING TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL..." HEAVY, HUH?

-SUPER MOTHER...

-WELL...

-I DIDN'T THINK I HAD PROBLEMS

WITH MY PARENTS.

MY MOTHER JUST SMILED WHEN I TOLD HER, "MOM, I'M GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE."

"OH YES?", SHE SAID.

"HIS NAME IS HUBERT PHILIPPE." A KNOWING SMILE

FROM MY MOTHER. I COULD HAVE KILLED HER!

I ASKED HER HOW LONG SHE'D KNOWN.

"SINCE YOU WERE A YEAR OLD", SHE SAID.

-WELL, YOU WERE PRETTY PRECOCIOUS!

-WHEN I TOLD THEM,

MY PARENTS REACTED REALLY WELL. MY MOTHER CALLED ME THE NEXT DAY.

SHE TOLD ME THAT MY FATHER HAD CRIED THAT NIGHT,

BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT IF I LIVED MY HOMOSEXUALITY, I WOULD RUN UP AGAINST PREJUDICE,

INTOLERANCE, AND THAT IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT FOR ME.

-IT WAS MY EX-WIFE WHO FIRST SPOKE UP.

SHE ADMITTED TO BEING A LESBIAN.

IT ACTED LIKE A TRIGGER FOR ME. "I THINK I'M GAY TOO", I TOLD HER.

IT ACTED LIKE A TRIGGER FOR ME. "I THINK I'M GAY TOO", I TOLD HER.

AS SOON AS THAT THOUGHT CROSSED MY MIND AND I ACTUALLY SAID IT OUT LOUD, I SWITCHED.

IT WAS LIKE A COIN FLIPPING.

I FELT MYSELF BEING REBORN.

[MARC PARADIS]: THE MORE OPENLY A HOMOSEXUAL IS ABLE

TO EXPRESS HIS HOMOSEXUALITY IN SOCIETY,

THE FREER HE WILL BE FROM THE PROBLEMS SOCIETY MAY IMPOSE ON HIM...

AND THAT IS A VERY HEALTHY EXERCISE.

[RINGING]

-CENTRE COMMUNAUTAIRE, BONJOUR...

O.K., MERCI...

-BONJOUR! -BONJOUR.

-JE VOUDRAIS SAVOIR C'EST QUAND, VOTRE PROCHAIN SOUPER COMMUNAUTAIRE.

[BENOIT MIGNEAULT]: THE ONLY IMAGES I HAD OF HOMOSEXUALITY

WERE NEGATIVE: ULTRA-EFFEMINATE PEOPLE, ONE-NIGHT STANDS, DRUGS, BOOZE...

I COULDN'T IDENTIFY WITH ANY OF THIS BEHAVIOUR.

THERE WERE NO POSITIVE IMAGES

OF HOMOSEXUALITY WHEN I WAS YOUNG.

I PRACTICALLY RANSACKED THE NEIGHBOURHOOD LIBRARIES

LOOKING FOR SOME KIND OF POSITIVE IMAGE,

BUT THERE WAS ALWAYS AN UNHAPPY ENDING: EITHER A SUICIDE,

OR SOMETHING REALLY SAD THAT PUT YOU RIGHT OFF.

IN SCHOOL, KIDS ARE TOLD THAT THEY ARE GOING TO LEAD WONDERFUL LIVES.

THEY WILL BECOME MEN AND WOMEN, AND THEY WILL HAVE MARVELOUS EXPERIENCES.

THEY WILL FALL IN LOVE. IT WILL BE FANTASTIC!

BUT FOR THE HOMOSEXUAL, IT'S NOT THE SAME THING. IT'LL BE A SAD STORY.

THAT IS WHEN THE PROBLEMS START. WHEN YOU GET TO HIGH SCHOOL,

PEOPLE DENY THAT YOUR ORIENTATION EXISTS.

-AU REVOIR, LES ENFANTS. A DEMAIN!

[L. GAGLIARDI]: DOES THE LACK OF HOMOSEXUAL ROLE MODELS

IN TEXTBOOKS BOTHER YOU?

-NO, PERSONALLY, I CAN'T SAY IT DOES, THOUGH I'D CERTAINLY PREFER THAT THERE WERE SOME.

AND WHEN SOCIETY IS READY TO ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALITY MORE OPENLY,

WE'LL BEGIN TO SEE ROLE MODELS IN OUR SCHOOL BOOKS.

AT THE MOMENT, THE ONLY WAY I CAN BRING UP THE TOPIC

OF HOMOSEXUALITY IN SCHOOL, UNFORTUNATELY, IS BY TALKING ABOUT AIDS.

[DANY GRAVEL]: CUPID COULDN'T CARE LESS!

A PROGRAMME FOR THE GAY AND LESBIAN COMMUNITY OF MONTREAL.

THIS IS DANY GRAVEL. TODAY, BENOIT MIGNEAULT WILL BE TALKING TO US ABOUT MASCULINITY.

-OVER THE CENTURIES,

MASCULINITY HAS OFTEN BEEN ASSOCIATED WITH DOMINATION, STRENGTH.

WE SPEAK OF POSSESSION, PENETRATION.

IN SHORT, WE SPEAK OF THE "FUCKER".

THE FUCKER REPRESENTS STRENGTH.

FOR EXAMPLE, IF THE MAN BESIDES YOU BANGS HIS FIST ON THE TABLE,

PEOPLE WILL THINK, "NOW, THERE'S A MAN FOR YOU; THERE'S A REAL MAN."

BUT IF THE SAME INDIVIDUAL STARTS TO CRY,

PEOPLE WILL TAKE HIM FOR A SISSY,

A WIMP, A FAGGOT...

LET'S LOOK AT HOW SOCIETY VIEWS WOMEN.

SOCIETY ASSOCIATES WOMEN WITH SUBMISSION, PASSIVITY;

THEY ARE FUNDAMENTALLY WEAK, SO TO SPEAK.

AND SO, THEY ARE THE "FUCKED".

THEY SUBMIT TO THE DOMINATION OF THE FUCKER.

WE CAN OBSERVE THE SAME MENTALITY IN THE CONDITIONS

WHICH SOCIETY IMPOSES ON MEN TO MAKE THEM FEEL TRULY MASCULINE.

THERE'S A CONSTANT THEME:

"YOU'RE A MAN ONLY IF YOU LOVE A WOMAN."

BUT WHEN YOU'RE HOMOSEXUAL, YOU DON'T LOVE A WOMAN, YOU LOVE ANOTHER MAN.

YOU'RE NOT SEEN AS SOMEONE HAVING A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER MAN.

YOU'RE CONSIDERED PASSIVE, SOMEONE WHO SUBMITS TO A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP.

YOU DON'T THINK OF A HOMOSEXUAL COUPLE AS A FUCKER AND A FUCKEE.

NO. IT'S JUST "SOMEONE BEING FUCKED".

-FOR ME, A BROAD DEFINITION OF HOMOSEXUALITY WOULD BE

EVERYTHING THAT IS DONE EXCLUSIVELY AMONG MEN, BY MEN AND FOR MEN.

BASICALLY, POWER IS EXERCISED AMONG MEN.

STRUCTURES OF CONTROL OR RELIGION ARE DOMAINS STRICTLY RESERVED FOR MEN.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE AN INNER SANCTUM OF POWER.

BY THAT, I DON'T MEAN TO SAY THAT I AGREE WITH THESE POWER STRUCTURES,

NOR DO I MEAN TO SAY THAT HOMOSEXUALS USE THEIR POWER

IN A POSITIVE WAY.

ON THE CONTRARY!

-BONJOUR, JEROME. -BONJOUR, RAYMOND.

-BONJOUR, JEROME. -BONJOUR, RAYMOND.

-COMMENT CA VA? -CA VA MIEUX, MERCI.

-CA ME FAIT PLAISIR, MOI AUSSI, DE TE VOIR.

I DON'T SEE WHY IT SHOULD BE MORE DIFFICULT FOR TWO MEN TO BECOME A COUPLE.

THE FEELINGS ARE THE SAME. LOVE IS THE SAME!

IT'S NOT MASCULINE/FEMININE, IT'S MASCULINE/MASCULINE.

THE FEELINGS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME.

IT'S THE SAME THRILL, THE SAME PASSION...

THE SAME BLINDNESS,

THE SAME... EMOTIONS.

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANY DIFFERENCE.

-WHEN I USED TO TOUCH MY EX-WIFE,

WHEN I MADE LOVE TO HER, IT WAS GOOD.

BUT I ALWAYS FELT THERE WAS SOMETHING MISSING, AN ELEMENT THAT I COULDN'T QUITE DEFINE,

BECAUSE FOR ME, AT THE TIME, IT WAS TABOO.

I CAME TO TERMS WITH THAT.

AND TODAY, WHEN I'M WITH A MAN AND I MAKE LOVE TO A MAN,

THE PLEASURE OF STROKING HIS SKIN, OF BEING PRESSED AGAINST HIM, IT'S...

IT'S DIFFERENT.

AND IT GOES RIGHT TO THE DEPTHS OF MY BEING.

AND I AM TRANSPORTED.

[GHISLAIN BIRON]: MY DRAWINGS ARE STILL TOO PRUDISH,

BUT THEY'RE COMING ALONG.

I'M TRYING TO EXPRESS WHAT IS ESSENTIAL FOR ME:

SEX.

I WANT THEM MORE EROTIC, MORE EXPLICIT BUT WITH THE SAME SENSUALITY.

I WANT TO DEPICT LOVE SCENES

BETWEEN TWO MEN AND TO FEEL ABSOLUTELY FREE ABOUT IT.

[L. GAGLIARDI]: THEY'RE NOT REALLY LOVE SCENES.

-YES, THEY'RE LOVE SCENES. IF TWO GUYS SCREW FOR 5 MINUTES, THAT'S A LOVE SCENE.

-ISN'T THAT JUST SEX?

-IT'S SEX, BUT THERE'S ALSO LOVE.

-SO A FIVE-MINUTE QUICKIE IN A BAR, YOU'D CALL THAT LOVE?

-FIVE MINUTES OF LOVE.

-SO WHAT WOULD YOU CALL A RELATIONSHIP THAT LASTS 3 YEARS?

-A RELATIONSHIP THAT LASTS 3 YEARS.

THEY NEEDED 3 YEARS TO LOVE EACH OTHER.

IF SOME SCREW...

OR TOUCH IN A BAR FOR JUST 5 MINUTES,

THAT'S ALL THE TIME THEY NEEDED.

-WE HAVE OUR VALUES, WE HAVE OUR WAY OF DOING THINGS,

AND OUR CULTURE IS HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY THAT.

IT'S A VERY IMAGE-DRIVEN CULTURE,

ONE THAT EMPHASIZES THE MALE BODY.

SOME WOMEN FIND IT ALMOST PORNOGRAPHIC...

BUT IN OUR CULTURE, IT'S NOT CONSIDERED PORNOGRAPHY.

[BENOIT MIGNEAULT]: GAYS ARE VERY ATTRACTED BY A VIRILE LOOK.

THE POLICE, THE ARMY, THEY ARE ALL ARCHETYPES WHICH ARE PART OF GAY EROTICISM.

THEY REPRESENT THE ULTIMATE IN MASCULINITY. IT'S THE DESIRE TO BE A MAN...

OR TO BE WITH A MAN.

WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM AND FANTASIZE,

YOU SEE YOURSELF AS THAT GUY.

NO ONE WILL EVER BOTHER HIM BECAUSE HE'S SUPER VIRILE.

NOBODY WILL EVER SAY, "YOU'RE JUST A FAG."

HIS VIRILITY IS NEVER IN DOUBT.

-I WAS 25 AT THE TIME.

HOMOSEXUALITY WAS AT THE HEIGHT OF ITS MACHO PERIOD.

FOR 20 YEARS, GAYS HAD BEEN COMING OUT IN THE GAY COMMUNITY IN NORTH AMERICA,

AND WE HAD FINALLY GONE FROM THE ARCHETYPAL QUEEN OF THE SIXTIES,

WHEN A MAN WHO WANTED TO SEDUCE ANOTHER MAN DRESSED UP

AS AN OBJECT OF DESIRE...

THAT IS, HE ADOPTED FEMALE BEHAVIOUR

IN ORDER TO ATTRACT A MAN.

THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOUR HAS BECOME... LEGENDARY AMONG GAYS.

NOWADAYS, THE HOMOSEXUAL CAN JUST BE A MAN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER MAN.

SO FROM THE SIXTIES TO THE EIGHTIES,

SO FROM THE SIXTIES TO THE EIGHTIES,

THERE WAS A TRANSITION FROM QUEEN TO MACHO.

[L. GAGLIARDI]: WERE YOU AWARE THAT THE POLICE ARE PART OF THE GAYS' FANTASY WORLD?

-NO KIDDING?

I... I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

-I KNEW THAT WEARING LEATHER... THERE'S A SIMILARITY,

BUT NO, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

[JEAN-GUY LEBLANC]: I WROTE LA DIFFERENCE DANS LA DIFFERENCE

BECAUSE I FELT THAT AT UNIVERSITY,

THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT TO HIDE THE GAY PHENOMENON.

I THOUGHT THE BOOK MIGHT BE OF SOME HELP TO HOMOPHILES,

BECAUSE THEY OFTEN CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY ARE THE OBJECT OF PREJUDICE.

-I DON'T LIKE THE EXPRESSION "HOMO-SEX-UALITY", BECAUSE IT'S NOT ALWAYS INSTANT SEX.

I LIKE THE EXPRESSION "HOMOPHILE", WHICH MEANS "TO LOVE SOMEONE LIKE YOURSELF",

SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX.

-HOMOPHILE IS THE GENERIC TERM FOR BOTH HOMOSEXUALS AND GAYS.

HOMOSEXUALS ARE THOSE WHO DON'T ACCEPT THEMSELVES,

OR WHO LEAD A DOUBLE LIFE,

AND/OR ARE NOT OPEN TO LIVING EXCLUSIVELY AS HOMOPHILES.

GAYS DO ACCEPT THEMSELVES AND LEAD EXCLUSIVELY HOMOPHILE LIVES.

[RAYMOND FAFARD]: GAY CULTURE IS NOT NECESSARILY PORNOGRAPHY,

SAUNAS, THE GAY VILLAGE.

I CALL THAT "BEHAVIOUR".

FOR ME, CULTURE HAS A MUCH WIDER CONNOTATION.

IT REFERS TO A BODY OF THINKING EXPRESSED THROUGH CREATIVITY.

WHEN I THINK OF A NOVELIST OR A FILMMAKER,

THAT'S WHAT I CALL "GAY CULTURE".

-IT'S A PARTICULAR BODY OF LITERATURE,

AS OPPOSED TO LITERATURE IN GENERAL.

[L. GAGLIARDI]: WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT IT?

-WELL, GAY CULTURE SPEAKS TO PEOPLE ABOUT WHO THEY ARE,

ABOUT THEIR LIVES AS GAYS,

AND THAT'S HOW IT AFFECTS THEM.

THAT'S THE WAY I SEE CULTURE.

IT'S CREATED IN RESPONSE TO THE COMMON EXPERIENCE OF A GROUP OF PEOPLE.

IT'S A MEANS BY WHICH THEY CAN IDENTIFY AMONG THEMSELVES.

-WHAT MAKES BEING GAY DISTINCT IS HAVING AS AN OBJECT

OF CONTEMPLATION A BEAUTIFUL MALE BODY.

DOES THIS LITTLE FACT - THIS FUNDAMENTAL FACT -

MEAN THAT IF I WERE A NOVELIST,

I'D HAVE TO PUT A BEAUTIFUL MALE BODY IN ALL THE NOVELS I WRITE?

THAT'S THE DISTINCTION I MAKE WHEN I SPEAK OF CULTURE!

HOMOSEXUAL LITERATURE DOES NOT EXIST;

LITERATURE EXISTS.

-MY PAINTING LED ME TO DISCOVER

AND APPRECIATE THE ART OF TOM OF FINLAND.

HE'S DRAWN PRACTICALLY ALL THE SEXUAL FANTASIES.

THERE'S A LOT OF ENERGY, A STRONG AESTHETIC SENSE.

SOME MIGHT FIND IT EXCESSIVE OR EXAGGERATED,

BUT I THINK IT REFLECTS THE EXTREMES OF OUR FANTASIES.

AND YOU OPEN THE BOOK AND IT MAKES YOUR HEAD SPIN.

YOU GET REALLY TURNED ON.

YOU CAN'T STAY HOME AFTER YOU'VE LOOKED AT A BOOK LIKE THAT.

YOU HAVE TO GO OUT.

[SYLVAIN BISSONNETTE]: I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE SUPPRESSED THEIR FEELINGS

FOR SO LONG, BUT ONCE THEY ACCEPT THEMSELVES AS THEY ARE...

WELL, THEY SEEM TO GO TO THE OTHER EXTREME.

THEY WANT TO COME OUT.

THEY WANT IT KNOWN,

THEY WANT TO BE SEEN.

THEY REALLY WANT TO GO FOR IT.

-YES, I LIKE RAUNCHY BARS.

[L. GAGLIARDI]: WHY?

-I LIKE LOOKING AT GUYS.

I'M FASCINATED BY THE SEXINESS OF THE GUYS WHO HANG OUT THERE,

THE SEDUCTION GAMES THAT GO ON.

MAYBE IT'S THE DARKNESS...

SOMETIMES IT'S THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IN THERE.

-PERSONALLY, I DON'T LIKE THE BAR SCENE.

I FIND IT... DEGRADING.

WHEN I LEAVE, I'M ALL IN KNOTS,

BECAUSE THE ENERGY IN THOSE BARS IS JUST NOT ME.

WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL BODIES IN THERE,

YOU THINK, "I CAN NEVER HAVE A BODY LIKE THAT!"

WHEN I USED TO GO TO BARS, I NEVER FELT THAT I COULD BE WITH THOSE GUYS,

BECAUSE I THOUGHT... I NEVER THOUGHT I HAD A GOOD ENOUGH BODY.

-HAVING GAY FRIENDS IS OKAY;

SITTING AROUND TALKING IS OKAY;

BUT GOING INTO THAT MILIEU? WO!

SO ONE DAY THE GUYS SAID, "COME ON, COME ON!"

I SAID, "OKAY, BUT ON ONE CONDITION."

I TOLD MARTIN, "I DON'T WANT ANYONE HITTING ON ME."

I FIGURED I KNEW WHAT THE GAY BARS WERE LIKE, THAT IT GOT PRETTY HOT IN THERE.

SO I TOLD MARTIN, "PRETEND YOU'RE MY LOVER IF YOU SENSE SOMEONE COMING ON TO ME..."

[BOTH GUYS]: STICK CLOSE TO ME!

-SO IN WE WENT AND... IT WAS REALLY SOMETHING!

THE FIRST 15 MINUTES, I KEPT MY EYES GLUED TO THE FLOOR.

-IN THOSE DAYS, WE WERE FAR LESS OPEN IN PUBLIC...

BUT WE HAD OUR BARS.

THERE WEREN'T VERY MANY...

THERE WAS THE HAWAIIAN LOUNGE, FOR INSTANCE.

BUT AT NIGHT, WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE BARS,

THERE WAS NO HOLDING US BACK!

-THE THING ABOUT GAY BARS...

YOU KNOW ALL THE GUYS ARE GAY. THERE'S NEVER ANY QUESTION.

FINALLY, A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT THE WAY YOU WANT TO.

AND YOU CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE!

PEOPLE ARE VERY OPEN, VERY HONEST, VERY...

NO HOLDS BARRED. THAT'S WHY WE GO THERE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE ANYTHING. THERE'S NO IMAGE TO PROTECT,

JUST THE OPPOSITE. FINALLY, YOU CAN BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

-UNFORTUNATELY, FOR MANY GAYS...

-UNFORTUNATELY, FOR MANY GAYS...

THEIR LIFE IS THE BAR SCENE.

I'VE SAID IT BEFORE: PEOPLE WHO ARE UNABLE TO LEAD A GAY LIFE OUTSIDE THE BARS

LIVE IT INSIDE. AND THERE'S A KIND OF BROTHERHOOD,

OF CAMARADERIE IN THE BARS,

WHICH IS THE ESSENCE OF THE GAY COMMUNITY.

[L. GAGLIARDI]: BUT FOR MANY GAYS, BARS HAVE A NEGATIVE CONNOTATION.

-YES, FOR MANY GAYS... BARS ARE NEGATIVE.

FOR MANY GAYS, SAUNAS ARE NEGATIVE.

FOR MANY GAYS, THE GAY COMMUNITY IS NEGATIVE.

BUT FOR ME... THE COMMUNITY, THE SAUNAS, THE BARS,

IT'S ALL PART OF WHO I AM AS A GAY MAN.

IF MY LIFE REVOLVED AROUND BARS, THAT WOULD BE A PROBLEM.

OR IF IT REVOLVED AROUND THE SAUNAS.

BUT THAT SCENE IS ALL PART OF WHO I AM.

-THE SAUNA MEANS MULTIPLE PARTNERS.

IT'S... AN ORGY...

NOT BECAUSE OF THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE GATHERED TOGETHER,

BUT IT'S AN ORGY IN TERMS OF DESIRE, SEDUCTION...

YOU SEE BODIES ALMOST NAKED...

YOU SEE THEM IN THE SHOWER...

YOU SEE THEM IN THE BATHS,

IN THE ROOMS...

I FIND IT BEAUTIFUL.

IF YOU NEED TO BE WITH SOMEONE IN THE SAUNA, IT'S VERY QUICK.

YOU NEED TO TOUCH A BODY.

YOU DON'T WASTE TIME.

THERE'S ALWAYS A BIT OF A LETDOWN AFTERWARDS,

BUT IF I HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE FOR 2 MONTHS, 2 YEARS,

I MIGHT END UP WITH THE SAME FEELING.

SO I GO BETWEEN THE TWO:

BETWEEN THE ANONYMOUS AND THE PERSONAL.

-ONCE LOVE ENTERED THE PICTURE,

IT WAS OUT OF THE QUESTION - AT LEAST FOR ME,

BECAUSE I'M MUCH TOO JEALOUS!

I WOULD NEVER HAVE BROUGHT MY FRIEND TO THOSE PLACES.

WE DID IT AT HOME!

PEOPLE ACCUSE US OF SLEEPING WITH EVERYONE,

AND I TRULY FIND THAT OFFENSIVE.

IT IS TRUE THAT WHEN WE'RE YOUNG WE HAVE MANY PARTNERS,

PARTLY BECAUSE THE OPPORTUNITIES ARE THERE.

IT'S ALSO A QUESTION OF YOUTH

AND A VORACIOUS APPETITE AND...

WELL, MAYBE IT CAN BE EXCESSIVE,

BUT IS THERE SUCH A THING AS EXCESS IN SEXUAL PASSION?

HETEROSEXUALS ARE JUST AS EXCESSIVE.

I DON'T SEE ANY DIFFERENCE.

-WE GAYS TALK MORE ABOUT SEX

BECAUSE WE'RE MORE OPEN ABOUT IT.

MAYBE WE'VE COME A STEP FURTHER THAN HETEROSEXUALS.

MAYBE THEY'RE STILL HIDING BEHIND A MASK.

AND IN MANY RESPECTS, IT'S STILL TABOO FOR THEM TO TALK OPENLY ABOUT SEX!

THE FACT THAT WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT MEANS WE'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO DROP THE MASK.

WE'RE NOT EMBARRASSED TO TALK ABOUT IT.

-FOR A LONG TIME, I DIDN'T TELL YVAN THAT I WAS HIV-POSITIVE.

IT WASN'T SO MUCH...

TO PROTECT MYSELF, IT'S THAT YOU TRY TO SPARE YOUR FRIENDS.

IT'S STUPID, I PROBABLY COULD HAVE USED HIS SUPPORT.

I JUST DON'T KNOW...

[YVAN MARTIN]: I SAID TO MARTIN, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER?"

AND I REMEMBER HIS REACTION...

YOU KNOW, FIRST I SAID, "IS IT TRUE?"

YOUR EYES FILLED WITH TEARS...

I LOOKED AT YOU AND I SAID, "LISTEN TO ME:

"NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS WITH YOUR HEALTH, I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU.

"NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

"I'M STILL YOUR FRIEND, I REALLY CARE FOR YOU!

"AND THAT'S THE WAY IT WILL ALWAYS BE...

"AND THAT'S THE WAY IT WILL ALWAYS BE...

FOREVER."

-IT'D BE HARD TO FIND A LOVER THAT I'M AS COMFORTABLE WITH AS I AM WITH YVAN.

[RAYMOND FAFARD]: I HOPE WHEN I'M OLD

- AND I'M GETTING THERE -

THAT THERE WILL BE A SENIORS' RESIDENCE FOR GAYS.

I DON'T MEAN FOR FLIRTING, BUT SO WE CAN TALK TO EACH OTHER OPENLY.

I KNOW THERE ARE GAY FATHERS

AND GAY PEOPLE IN OLD FOLKS' HOMES TODAY

WHO HAVE TO KEEP UP APPEARANCES UNTIL THE DAY THEY DIE!

AT MEALS, THEY'RE BESIDE PEOPLE WHO WOULD BE TERRIBLY UPSET IF THEY KNEW.

"MY GOD, WAS HE REALLY LIKE THAT?"

"THAT'S HARD TO BELIEVE!"

"DON'T TELL ME HE WAS A FAG?!"

BEYOND A CERTAIN AGE, YOU DON'T TELL PEOPLE.

MY OWN LIFE HAS BEEN VERY REWARDING.

THERE WERE TIMES - I CAN TALK ABOUT THEM LIGHTLY NOW -

BUT... WHEN YOU'RE KICKED OUT OF A NOVITIATE

AND TWO TELEVISION STATIONS!...

THERE WAS MY REPUTATION,

MY FUTURE, HOW I WAS GOING TO REBUILD MY LIFE...

AND EACH TIME I HAD TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.

IT WAS NO BED OF ROSES.

LIFE ISN'T EASY.

BUT AT LEAST I'VE HAD THE SATISFACTION

OF FULFILLING MYSELF WITH ANOTHER PERSON...

TWICE IN MY LIFE!

AND THAT'S WONDERFUL.

CAPTIONS PERFORMED BY

CENTRE NATIONAL DU SOUS-TITRAGE PST INC.