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1
00:00:01,445 --> 00:00:03,211
- Bon-jour tout le mond-e!
- _
2
00:00:03,213 --> 00:00:04,546
ADULT MARK: French class.
3
00:00:04,582 --> 00:00:05,948
- _
- Bonjour, ma S�ur Rose.
4
00:00:05,950 --> 00:00:07,082
ADULT MARK: I hated it.
5
00:00:07,084 --> 00:00:08,417
- _
- Comment allez-vous ?
6
00:00:08,552 --> 00:00:09,818
[CLASS MUTTERING REPLIES]
7
00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:10,919
ADULT MARK: The
Newfoundland accent
8
00:00:10,955 --> 00:00:12,854
was not meant to parlez-vous.
9
00:00:12,890 --> 00:00:18,160
Can anyone in this class form
even one sentence in French?
10
00:00:18,162 --> 00:00:19,495
Mr. Critch?
11
00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:21,296
ADULT MARK: The only
French words I knew
12
00:00:21,299 --> 00:00:23,399
were the ones that meant
the same in English.
13
00:00:23,534 --> 00:00:25,900
- _
- Je suis...
14
00:00:25,937 --> 00:00:28,703
- _
- All� � la matin�e...
15
00:00:30,574 --> 00:00:34,809
- _
- Avec... ma fianc�e...
16
00:00:34,845 --> 00:00:36,712
- _
- Encore !
17
00:00:36,781 --> 00:00:38,480
ADULT MARK: I barely
knew any French
18
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,382
but that was still more
than my French teacher knew.
19
00:00:40,451 --> 00:00:41,649
- _
- Bien.
20
00:00:41,686 --> 00:00:43,852
- _
- Bi-en!
21
00:00:43,921 --> 00:00:45,521
SISTER ROSE: Anyone else?
22
00:00:45,656 --> 00:00:48,657
[LAUGHS] You're a brain, idiot.
23
00:00:48,792 --> 00:00:50,625
ADULT MARK: There was nothing
more shameful at school
24
00:00:50,695 --> 00:00:51,727
than being smart.
25
00:00:51,730 --> 00:00:55,997
You'll all have to do much
better before our European trip!
26
00:00:56,033 --> 00:00:57,666
ADULT MARK: Each year,
the grade eights travelled
27
00:00:57,801 --> 00:00:59,168
to Europe for French immersion!
28
00:00:59,303 --> 00:01:00,935
Who didn't love France?
29
00:01:01,072 --> 00:01:03,338
France is a horrible place, children.
30
00:01:03,341 --> 00:01:06,208
Bicycles. Nude statues.
31
00:01:06,277 --> 00:01:09,277
The foul stench of wine and cheese
32
00:01:09,313 --> 00:01:12,614
intermingling on the lips...
33
00:01:12,683 --> 00:01:14,483
As they...
34
00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:18,020
French kiss.
35
00:01:18,155 --> 00:01:22,557
That is why I expect you to
behave the way Jesus would have.
36
00:01:22,626 --> 00:01:24,693
Like North Americans!
37
00:01:24,828 --> 00:01:27,429
ADULT MARK: I knew that
the French would get moi.
38
00:01:27,564 --> 00:01:30,098
Romance, art, Jerry Lewis movies?
39
00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:32,167
I could reinvent myself there!
40
00:01:32,203 --> 00:01:35,703
And maybe impress Fox
with my "je ne sais quoi."
41
00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:39,641
[ACCORDION MUSIC]
42
00:01:39,643 --> 00:01:41,977
- _
- Excusez-moi, madame ?
43
00:01:41,979 --> 00:01:43,679
- _
- Est-ce que je vous connais ?
44
00:01:43,681 --> 00:01:45,080
- _
- Croyez-vous en l'amour ?
45
00:01:45,215 --> 00:01:47,416
- _
- L'amour ?
46
00:01:47,551 --> 00:01:51,453
?
47
00:01:51,489 --> 00:01:56,492
- _
- L'amour est aussi proche que mes l�vres.
48
00:01:56,494 --> 00:01:59,160
Hey, dumbass!
49
00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:04,400
Why is it so close?
50
00:02:04,535 --> 00:02:06,134
What?
51
00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:07,270
That can't be right.
52
00:02:07,271 --> 00:02:09,337
Luckily, we don't have to go to France,
53
00:02:09,373 --> 00:02:12,074
for France has come to us.
54
00:02:12,076 --> 00:02:13,409
ADULT MARK: St. Pierre and Miquelon
55
00:02:13,544 --> 00:02:14,843
is a tiny French island
56
00:02:14,978 --> 00:02:17,746
just 19 kilometres off
the coast of Newfoundland.
57
00:02:17,748 --> 00:02:19,148
What a rip! That's not France.
58
00:02:19,283 --> 00:02:21,250
En fran�ais !
59
00:02:21,252 --> 00:02:23,151
- _
- Zut alors ! �a c'est de la merde !
60
00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:25,087
ADULT MARK: Fox was fluent in swearing,
61
00:02:25,089 --> 00:02:26,888
but Sister Rose hadn't heard those words
62
00:02:26,957 --> 00:02:28,156
in either language.
63
00:02:28,192 --> 00:02:29,891
Excellent, Fox.
64
00:02:29,927 --> 00:02:33,562
When England won the
seven years' war in 1763,
65
00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:34,930
they got Newfoundland,
66
00:02:35,116 --> 00:02:38,817
and France got these two tiny islands.
67
00:02:38,886 --> 00:02:42,220
So we are going to France.
68
00:02:42,222 --> 00:02:43,421
Technically.
69
00:02:43,457 --> 00:02:46,158
ADULT MARK: No Eiffel Tower, no Louvre.
70
00:02:46,293 --> 00:02:48,026
My dreams were "fini."
71
00:02:48,095 --> 00:02:49,828
It's three friggin' hours on a bus!
72
00:02:49,964 --> 00:02:51,363
You better sit with me.
73
00:02:51,498 --> 00:02:53,432
ADULT MARK: Well, then again...
74
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,267
I don't want to be
stuck with some loser.
75
00:02:55,269 --> 00:02:56,401
ADULT MARK: Impossible!
76
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:59,171
N'est pas fran�ais.
77
00:02:59,173 --> 00:03:01,773
?
78
00:03:01,908 --> 00:03:03,208
Please, can I go?
79
00:03:03,277 --> 00:03:05,010
I don't know, Mark, it's awful far.
80
00:03:05,145 --> 00:03:06,979
Almost four-hour drive with the ferry.
81
00:03:07,114 --> 00:03:08,514
POP: Well...
82
00:03:08,649 --> 00:03:10,716
I suppose I could chaperone, you know?
83
00:03:10,851 --> 00:03:12,851
I haven't been abroad before.
84
00:03:12,853 --> 00:03:14,820
You had your chance with two world wars.
85
00:03:14,955 --> 00:03:17,491
Weren't too concerned about
seeing France back then, were ya?
86
00:03:17,491 --> 00:03:19,958
Colour-blind.
87
00:03:19,994 --> 00:03:23,395
I think it could be lovely for him
to see the world before he dies.
88
00:03:23,431 --> 00:03:26,097
Whoa, who said anything
about dying here?!
89
00:03:26,133 --> 00:03:27,599
I-I guess I could ask?
90
00:03:27,601 --> 00:03:29,134
Hey, excellent. Heh!
91
00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:30,935
Now, just leave a little room
92
00:03:30,972 --> 00:03:33,272
in your suitcase for duty-free.
93
00:03:33,407 --> 00:03:36,074
Hm? Hm.
94
00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:38,043
So... ?
95
00:03:38,112 --> 00:03:39,277
All right.
96
00:03:39,313 --> 00:03:40,745
[EXHALES] Yes!
97
00:03:43,350 --> 00:03:44,850
- Mike?
- Mm-hm?
98
00:03:44,985 --> 00:03:46,084
I had a thought.
99
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,685
Mm-hm?
100
00:03:47,722 --> 00:03:49,754
With Mark and Pop gone to Europe...
101
00:03:49,790 --> 00:03:50,955
Oh, yeah.
102
00:03:50,992 --> 00:03:52,290
And Mike Jr. at work...
103
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:53,559
Yes, yeah...
104
00:03:53,694 --> 00:03:55,694
We're gonna have the
house all to ourselves...
105
00:03:55,696 --> 00:03:57,128
Mm-hm.
106
00:03:57,164 --> 00:03:59,297
MARY: All alone...
107
00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:02,634
For the first time in seventeen years.
108
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:08,974
We could get to bed a little bit early.
109
00:04:09,109 --> 00:04:11,476
I could use the sleep!
110
00:04:16,783 --> 00:04:18,650
Windows stay closed.
111
00:04:18,719 --> 00:04:21,253
No unscheduled bathroom breaks.
112
00:04:21,388 --> 00:04:26,258
Like Moses and the Red Sea,
this aisle will remain parted.
113
00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:27,992
Those are the rules!
114
00:04:28,029 --> 00:04:30,328
Excuse me, Sister...
115
00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:34,032
Do you mind if I just
squeeze past your arse?
116
00:04:36,070 --> 00:04:38,736
Boys and girls!
117
00:04:38,773 --> 00:04:43,408
[ROCK MUSIC]
118
00:04:43,444 --> 00:04:45,744
Bonjour, mes amis !
119
00:04:45,879 --> 00:04:47,479
Woo! Next stop Europe!
120
00:04:47,614 --> 00:04:48,880
Excited?
121
00:04:48,916 --> 00:04:50,949
It's not real France.
It's just a knock-off.
122
00:04:50,951 --> 00:04:52,484
Oh, come on!
123
00:04:52,619 --> 00:04:56,255
Where's your sense of
adventure, Little Miss Red, huh?
124
00:04:56,257 --> 00:04:58,957
Do you know what St.
Pierre is famous for?
125
00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:00,392
Sucking?
126
00:05:00,394 --> 00:05:01,627
No.
127
00:05:01,629 --> 00:05:02,961
Rum running!
128
00:05:03,096 --> 00:05:04,596
Prohibition!
129
00:05:04,632 --> 00:05:09,101
See, booze used to be illegal
then, like drugs are today.
130
00:05:09,103 --> 00:05:12,304
Oh no, St. Pierre was
a bootlegger's dream!
131
00:05:12,306 --> 00:05:14,740
Now, quiz!
132
00:05:14,742 --> 00:05:17,443
Who knows who Al Capone is?
133
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:18,710
The gangster?
134
00:05:18,712 --> 00:05:19,878
Yeah!
135
00:05:20,014 --> 00:05:21,980
He's Robert De Niro!
From The Untouchables!
136
00:05:22,049 --> 00:05:23,715
- Oh, yeah!
- Will you two shut it?
137
00:05:23,751 --> 00:05:25,551
Go ahead, old man.
138
00:05:25,553 --> 00:05:27,285
I mean, Mr. Critch.
139
00:05:27,287 --> 00:05:31,857
Hm, well, he needed illegal
booze for his night clubs,
140
00:05:31,992 --> 00:05:35,060
so he had 80 boats sneaking
141
00:05:35,195 --> 00:05:39,397
300,000 cases a month from
St. Pierre to Newfoundland,
142
00:05:39,433 --> 00:05:42,467
and then they'd smuggle them
across the border to the States.
143
00:05:42,470 --> 00:05:45,170
He got so rich he built a church
144
00:05:45,305 --> 00:05:47,873
just so that everyone
would look the other way.
145
00:05:47,942 --> 00:05:49,474
Okay. That's pretty bad-ass!
146
00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:50,609
Oh, yeah.
147
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:51,943
Can we go see the church?
148
00:05:51,979 --> 00:05:54,179
Sure, Sister Rose would love that!
149
00:05:54,181 --> 00:05:57,349
ADULT MARK: I was beginning to
doubt Pop's reasons for coming.
150
00:05:57,418 --> 00:05:58,984
How do you know so much about it?
151
00:05:59,119 --> 00:06:02,454
I won't have you filling their
heads with legends and lies.
152
00:06:02,456 --> 00:06:05,156
And I don't know what possessed
you to sign on as a chaperone,
153
00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:07,625
but I know that you could
only be possessed by the devil.
154
00:06:07,661 --> 00:06:10,028
Just clear the aisle, Sister.
155
00:06:10,097 --> 00:06:11,963
Those are the rules.
156
00:06:11,999 --> 00:06:15,701
ADULT MARK: This was
going to be a long trip.
157
00:06:15,836 --> 00:06:19,438
[ACCORDION MUSIC]
158
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,508
?
159
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:26,044
?
160
00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:28,514
?
161
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:29,649
ADULT MARK: France!
162
00:06:29,717 --> 00:06:31,850
Words escaped me.
163
00:06:31,852 --> 00:06:34,720
Mostly because I wasn't good at French.
164
00:06:34,722 --> 00:06:36,588
Did we drive in a circle?
165
00:06:36,624 --> 00:06:38,323
This place looks just like home.
166
00:06:38,392 --> 00:06:40,125
This sucks.
167
00:06:40,127 --> 00:06:42,728
ADULT MARK: I thought Fox
would fall in love with France,
168
00:06:42,863 --> 00:06:45,664
and me, but I guess some
things just don't translate.
169
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:46,798
[SISTER ROSE CLAPS]
170
00:06:46,934 --> 00:06:49,968
- _
- �cou-tez, l'enfants !
171
00:06:50,004 --> 00:06:53,405
- _
- Main-tenant, le fran�ais sale-ment !
172
00:06:53,474 --> 00:06:56,308
ADULT MARK: French
immersion became submersion
173
00:06:56,443 --> 00:06:58,343
as Sister Rose drowned
in the foreign tongue.
174
00:06:58,345 --> 00:07:00,345
- _
- L'enfants ! Le museum!
175
00:07:00,347 --> 00:07:03,081
- _
- Allez-vous, toute-lemonds!
176
00:07:03,150 --> 00:07:05,283
Oh my Lord.
177
00:07:05,352 --> 00:07:09,554
I never realized you
had such a potty mouth.
178
00:07:09,557 --> 00:07:13,292
[ROCK MUSIC STING]
179
00:07:19,733 --> 00:07:22,100
- _
- Madame ?
180
00:07:22,102 --> 00:07:25,103
- _
- Avec moi ?
181
00:07:25,105 --> 00:07:27,305
The only thing that sucks
more than your French
182
00:07:27,441 --> 00:07:31,142
- is this trip.
- [SEAGULL CAWING]
183
00:07:31,212 --> 00:07:32,344
Exotic.
184
00:07:32,413 --> 00:07:33,578
Oh, no.
185
00:07:33,581 --> 00:07:34,581
No...
186
00:07:38,619 --> 00:07:39,785
Mary?
187
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,653
Who broke the table?
188
00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:44,456
It's just the two of us
tonight, so I took the leaf out.
189
00:07:44,458 --> 00:07:46,524
Hm?
190
00:07:46,594 --> 00:07:50,595
[ROMANTIC MUSIC WITH SPANISH GUITAR]
191
00:07:50,598 --> 00:07:51,863
What's this?
192
00:07:51,932 --> 00:07:53,098
French onion soup.
193
00:07:53,233 --> 00:07:55,133
Alice lent me the bowls.
194
00:07:55,135 --> 00:07:56,735
I figured everybody else was in France,
195
00:07:56,804 --> 00:07:58,503
so we should be too.
196
00:07:58,639 --> 00:08:00,739
Onion soup? I-I don't like onions.
197
00:08:00,808 --> 00:08:03,074
There aren't any onions in it, silly!
198
00:08:03,143 --> 00:08:06,144
It's just hot water and
French onion soup mix!
199
00:08:06,213 --> 00:08:08,012
What's all this, then?
200
00:08:08,048 --> 00:08:10,682
Swiss cheese.
201
00:08:10,718 --> 00:08:12,484
Swiss, French!
202
00:08:12,486 --> 00:08:15,020
I need a passport just to eat my supper!
203
00:08:15,089 --> 00:08:16,622
Is there any turkey left?
204
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,690
You couldn't get laid out of
a chicken's arse, ya know that?
205
00:08:18,825 --> 00:08:20,158
Good God!
206
00:08:20,294 --> 00:08:22,094
I'm trying to be romantic, ya arsehole!
207
00:08:22,096 --> 00:08:23,562
When do we ever really talk?
208
00:08:23,697 --> 00:08:25,030
All you ever do is talk!
209
00:08:25,099 --> 00:08:26,798
Oh, and you never listen!
210
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,301
- [PHONE RINGS]
- I'll get it!
211
00:08:31,939 --> 00:08:33,971
You couldn't get laid
in a cage full'a monkeys
212
00:08:34,008 --> 00:08:36,074
with a fist full'a bananas!
213
00:08:40,281 --> 00:08:41,513
Hello?
214
00:08:41,515 --> 00:08:43,315
OPERATOR: You have
a collect call from...
215
00:08:43,317 --> 00:08:45,283
[RAPIDLY] Hey, Dad, it's me
Mark and everything's okay
216
00:08:45,418 --> 00:08:48,053
but a bird pooped on me
but that's good luck, bye!
217
00:08:48,122 --> 00:08:49,387
ADULT MARK: Why pay long distance
218
00:08:49,456 --> 00:08:51,322
when you could jam all you had to say
219
00:08:51,358 --> 00:08:52,957
into the space for the caller's name?
220
00:08:53,027 --> 00:08:54,426
OPERATOR: Will you accept the charges?
221
00:08:54,561 --> 00:08:55,927
God, no.
222
00:08:56,063 --> 00:08:59,263
ADULT MARK: It was
like an audio postcard.
223
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:01,633
Oh, that was Mark. He's fine.
224
00:09:01,635 --> 00:09:04,068
Good.
225
00:09:04,104 --> 00:09:05,704
No more interruptions.
226
00:09:05,706 --> 00:09:07,672
You're gonna have a
romantic night tonight
227
00:09:07,708 --> 00:09:09,974
if it friggin' kills ya!
228
00:09:10,044 --> 00:09:12,110
[DIAL TONE]
229
00:09:12,245 --> 00:09:13,245
Phone's off the hook.
230
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,546
I know.
231
00:09:14,615 --> 00:09:16,281
You know, Dad...
232
00:09:16,283 --> 00:09:17,749
A woman needs to be romanced.
233
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,617
Will you get out of it!
234
00:09:26,126 --> 00:09:27,469
- _
- Les �les Saint-Pierre et Miquelon
235
00:09:27,470 --> 00:09:28,470
- _
- �taient une plaque tournante
236
00:09:28,471 --> 00:09:32,831
- _
- pour la contrebande d'alcool vers les �tats-unis.
237
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,165
- What's she saying?
- Shh!
238
00:09:34,201 --> 00:09:37,102
- _
- Des criminels notoires s'y sont install�s,
239
00:09:37,171 --> 00:09:40,905
- _
- notamment Al Capone.
240
00:09:40,974 --> 00:09:42,574
She just said "Al Capone"!
241
00:09:42,643 --> 00:09:44,109
Your pop was right!
242
00:09:44,244 --> 00:09:45,777
Ah, yes! Good ear.
243
00:09:45,912 --> 00:09:47,245
- _
- Joyeux No�l!
244
00:09:47,381 --> 00:09:48,780
- _
- Y a-t-il des questions ?
245
00:09:48,915 --> 00:09:50,081
- _
- Madame ?
246
00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:51,249
- _
- Oui, madame ?
247
00:09:51,385 --> 00:09:53,985
- _
- Qu'est-ce que c'est ?
248
00:09:54,121 --> 00:09:57,455
- _
- Une guillotine.
249
00:09:57,591 --> 00:09:58,591
- _
- �a g�re !
250
00:09:58,625 --> 00:09:59,690
- _
- Oui, tr�s bien !
251
00:09:59,727 --> 00:10:00,727
Brain!
252
00:10:00,794 --> 00:10:03,194
- What a loser!
- Silence!
253
00:10:03,230 --> 00:10:06,665
As you can see, my students
speak French fluently.
254
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,735
If you like, you could
practice your English for a bit?
255
00:10:10,738 --> 00:10:12,837
[HEAVILY ACCENTED] Uh... my English?
256
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:15,973
Uh, yes, I speak English very well.
257
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:28,754
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]
258
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:31,756
Al Capone's hat.
259
00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:34,759
Huh.
260
00:10:34,795 --> 00:10:37,629
Is that so?
261
00:10:37,764 --> 00:10:41,366
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES]
262
00:10:41,435 --> 00:10:45,036
?
263
00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:48,640
?
264
00:10:48,709 --> 00:10:52,043
If the nun can frig off, so can we.
265
00:10:52,112 --> 00:10:53,912
- _
- Excusez-moi ?
266
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:55,413
- _
- Vous allez o� ?
267
00:10:55,416 --> 00:10:59,217
Sorry. No speak-ez le French-ez.
268
00:11:07,461 --> 00:11:09,393
ADULT MARK: Pop was up to no good,
269
00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:12,864
but this was my chance to show
Fox my sophisticated side.
270
00:11:12,999 --> 00:11:16,734
?
271
00:11:16,804 --> 00:11:19,805
?
272
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:23,541
?
273
00:11:26,613 --> 00:11:29,080
[IN A WHISPER] Patrick?
274
00:11:32,152 --> 00:11:34,285
Patrick?
275
00:11:36,356 --> 00:11:37,356
Rosy!
276
00:11:37,424 --> 00:11:38,490
Aah! Jesus!
277
00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:41,259
Shh, they'll hear
you, for goodness sake.
278
00:11:41,394 --> 00:11:43,628
Besides, we're in a house of worship.
279
00:11:43,697 --> 00:11:46,031
It's a little late for
you to find God, isn't it?
280
00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:48,399
Somebody must be looking down on me.
281
00:11:48,469 --> 00:11:50,168
They brought me to you, didn't they?
282
00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:52,169
Oh, don't start!
283
00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:54,305
Tell me the real reason you're here.
284
00:11:57,478 --> 00:11:59,644
[SIGHS]
285
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:05,183
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]
286
00:12:05,185 --> 00:12:06,851
Fine.
287
00:12:06,854 --> 00:12:08,953
[SIGHS]
288
00:12:11,625 --> 00:12:13,992
So, it was 1925.
289
00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:17,929
You had just broken my heart,
so I came to St. Pierre,
290
00:12:18,064 --> 00:12:21,933
where I'd heard that this
Capone fella needed some guys
291
00:12:22,068 --> 00:12:25,003
to row rum out to the schooners
292
00:12:25,072 --> 00:12:27,539
where the coast guard couldn't find 'em.
293
00:12:27,541 --> 00:12:30,708
They were paying a
fortune, 50 cents a gallon.
294
00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:32,344
I'd never seen money like that.
295
00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:34,612
I've never been good with temptation.
296
00:12:34,648 --> 00:12:40,085
?
297
00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:42,821
Well...
298
00:12:42,956 --> 00:12:46,224
Are you coming to hear
the rest of my confession?
299
00:12:49,763 --> 00:12:51,963
[CHUCKLES]
300
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:55,767
[LAUGHTER]
301
00:12:58,104 --> 00:13:00,838
- _
- O� est votre professeur ?
302
00:13:00,874 --> 00:13:02,840
Uh...
303
00:13:02,876 --> 00:13:05,810
What's the French word for "chaperone"?
304
00:13:12,019 --> 00:13:13,118
Voil� !
305
00:13:13,253 --> 00:13:14,452
Real French cheese.
306
00:13:14,588 --> 00:13:15,987
Ha-ha!
307
00:13:18,091 --> 00:13:19,924
You know, their cheese
doesn't come in slices.
308
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,126
No?
309
00:13:21,261 --> 00:13:23,394
Uh, jars of whiz, then?
310
00:13:23,463 --> 00:13:24,996
They have all kinds.
311
00:13:25,131 --> 00:13:28,867
Camembert, brie, and my favourite...
312
00:13:28,869 --> 00:13:31,136
Bleu !
313
00:13:31,271 --> 00:13:33,738
Ugh, that stuff reeks.
314
00:13:33,740 --> 00:13:35,172
You really had it before?
315
00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:37,208
Le fromage bleu ?
316
00:13:37,277 --> 00:13:38,876
All the time!
317
00:13:38,912 --> 00:13:41,679
I have it with a cream cracker
with a cup of tea at bed time.
318
00:13:41,748 --> 00:13:43,414
Goes down smooth.
319
00:13:49,956 --> 00:13:51,089
Uh...
320
00:13:51,158 --> 00:13:54,159
I think it's a little off.
321
00:13:54,294 --> 00:13:56,360
It's supposed to be rotten, dumbass.
322
00:13:56,396 --> 00:13:58,896
But you knew that, right?
323
00:13:58,898 --> 00:14:00,398
Yeah.
324
00:14:00,434 --> 00:14:02,367
I prefer mine more off.
325
00:14:02,502 --> 00:14:05,003
Mm-hm.
326
00:14:05,005 --> 00:14:06,303
Take another bite.
327
00:14:07,707 --> 00:14:08,973
Yeah?
328
00:14:08,976 --> 00:14:09,976
Yeah.
329
00:14:10,043 --> 00:14:11,242
Yeah!
330
00:14:14,247 --> 00:14:16,781
Yeah... [RETCHING]
331
00:14:28,795 --> 00:14:31,062
Oh, for the love of God, Mike,
332
00:14:31,197 --> 00:14:33,131
I will shove that radio up your arse
333
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,199
and that'll be the only action you get.
334
00:14:35,268 --> 00:14:36,435
MIKE JR.: [ON RADIO]
And later on, we'll have
335
00:14:37,450 --> 00:14:39,003
Nightline with Ron
Pumphrey, but first...
336
00:14:39,006 --> 00:14:40,883
- A request!
- Listening to our son
337
00:14:40,884 --> 00:14:43,274
is a bit of a mood-killer,
there, Casanova!
338
00:14:43,276 --> 00:14:44,843
MIKE JR.: This is Mike Critch Jr.,
339
00:14:44,978 --> 00:14:47,946
and this one goes out
to Mom, from Dad...
340
00:14:48,081 --> 00:14:49,881
Which is kind of gross.
341
00:14:50,016 --> 00:14:53,885
Here's The Fureys, with
"When you were sweet sixteen."
342
00:14:53,887 --> 00:14:55,787
Oh...
343
00:14:55,856 --> 00:14:58,556
? ... As I've never loved before ?
344
00:14:58,558 --> 00:15:00,357
[MARY CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
345
00:15:02,195 --> 00:15:06,630
? Since first I saw
you on the village... ?
346
00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:10,634
Oh, Mike!
347
00:15:10,671 --> 00:15:12,904
I guess I'm just out of practice.
348
00:15:12,906 --> 00:15:14,572
Can't blame me for being nervous
349
00:15:14,708 --> 00:15:16,040
around the prettiest girl that I've...
350
00:15:16,043 --> 00:15:17,775
Ah!
351
00:15:17,844 --> 00:15:19,911
Shut up and help me
move the beds together.
352
00:15:20,046 --> 00:15:25,516
? I love you as I loved you ?
353
00:15:25,552 --> 00:15:29,387
? When you were sweet sixteen... ?
354
00:15:29,389 --> 00:15:32,390
ADULT MARK: We were whatever
the French word for "lost" was.
355
00:15:32,392 --> 00:15:35,326
Uh, I think it's this way.
356
00:15:35,462 --> 00:15:36,928
- _
- Blaireau ! Arr�te !
357
00:15:36,997 --> 00:15:38,562
ADULT MARK: French bullies!
358
00:15:38,598 --> 00:15:41,166
Like the Fox brothers,
but with wine and smokes.
359
00:15:41,301 --> 00:15:43,134
- _
- Bonjour, mes amis.
360
00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:46,237
- _
- Du fromage... bleu ?
361
00:15:46,372 --> 00:15:48,973
- _
- Tu parles fran�ais comme une vache espagnole !
362
00:15:48,975 --> 00:15:51,910
- _
- Ah, oui, oui. Moi, aussi.
363
00:15:51,912 --> 00:15:53,511
- _
- T'es un vrai sans-couilles !
364
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:55,513
- _
- Va te faire cuire un oeuf, pompe � chiasse !
365
00:15:55,648 --> 00:15:57,348
- _
- Casse-toi donc, branleur !
366
00:15:57,350 --> 00:15:59,384
ADULT MARK: When it came
to French curse words,
367
00:15:59,386 --> 00:16:03,121
Fox wasn't a brain,
she was a genius!
368
00:16:03,256 --> 00:16:07,024
- _
- �a m'est �gal, esp�ce de plouc !
369
00:16:07,026 --> 00:16:09,160
I was just about to say the same thing.
370
00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:10,694
Here.
371
00:16:13,366 --> 00:16:16,434
You must think I'm whatever
the French word for an idiot is.
372
00:16:16,569 --> 00:16:17,768
[FRENCH PRONUNCIATION] Idiot.
373
00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:19,771
No.
374
00:16:19,773 --> 00:16:21,739
You were actually pretty cute.
375
00:16:24,578 --> 00:16:29,380
So, can you just admit you
can read the street signs now?
376
00:16:29,382 --> 00:16:31,682
[SIGHS] It's this way.
377
00:16:34,988 --> 00:16:37,522
Uh, what's a "branleur"?
378
00:16:37,591 --> 00:16:39,724
You're not old enough to know.
379
00:16:39,859 --> 00:16:42,727
- Sorry, come on.
- Oh...
380
00:16:46,099 --> 00:16:48,833
RITCHIE: Ah! Yes, here it is!
381
00:16:48,968 --> 00:16:50,602
"Abandonn�."
382
00:16:50,604 --> 00:16:52,603
- _
- Nous sommes...
383
00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:55,139
- _
- Abandonn�s !
384
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:56,741
Brain!
385
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,046
Ah, hurry up!
386
00:17:02,182 --> 00:17:05,616
Oh, God, this was so much
easier the first time around.
387
00:17:05,685 --> 00:17:08,786
Well, what's down there
that's so damn important?
388
00:17:08,789 --> 00:17:11,622
POP: A few bottles in
my load kind of got...
389
00:17:11,691 --> 00:17:14,091
Went missing.
390
00:17:14,161 --> 00:17:17,628
Well, they came looking
for me, but you know,
391
00:17:17,697 --> 00:17:20,932
you really don't want
to be crossing Al Capone.
392
00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:24,535
?
393
00:17:24,538 --> 00:17:28,239
?
394
00:17:28,241 --> 00:17:30,274
Find him!
395
00:17:30,343 --> 00:17:32,377
POP: I left something in this church.
396
00:17:32,379 --> 00:17:35,846
I just wanted to see
whether it was still there.
397
00:17:35,882 --> 00:17:37,181
Aah!
398
00:17:37,184 --> 00:17:39,250
Yes!
399
00:17:39,385 --> 00:17:40,451
Oh! [CHUCKLES]
400
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,920
They'd kill me if they came back here!
401
00:17:43,056 --> 00:17:44,188
But thank God they're all dead.
402
00:17:44,224 --> 00:17:45,990
So screw 'em.
403
00:17:46,026 --> 00:17:48,259
Now...
404
00:17:48,394 --> 00:17:50,461
What do you know?
405
00:17:50,597 --> 00:17:53,731
[CACKLING EXCITEDLY]
406
00:17:53,733 --> 00:17:54,832
Someone will hear!
407
00:17:54,967 --> 00:17:56,200
- [LOUD CRASH]
- Aah!
408
00:17:56,236 --> 00:17:57,735
Oh, Jesus!
409
00:17:57,804 --> 00:17:59,136
No, no!
410
00:17:59,206 --> 00:18:01,272
Good God...
411
00:18:01,407 --> 00:18:02,407
Oh!
412
00:18:02,409 --> 00:18:04,141
Rats' piss!
413
00:18:04,143 --> 00:18:05,810
- They've eaten the money!
- [DISTANT VOICES]
414
00:18:05,945 --> 00:18:08,680
My God, don't you people
ever clean these churches?
415
00:18:08,715 --> 00:18:09,716
Someone's coming!
416
00:18:09,716 --> 00:18:10,882
All right, all right, all right.
417
00:18:11,017 --> 00:18:12,750
There was one more little thing.
418
00:18:12,886 --> 00:18:14,685
Leave it, you old fool!
419
00:18:14,754 --> 00:18:16,553
Oh-ho!
420
00:18:16,590 --> 00:18:18,089
Well!
421
00:18:18,091 --> 00:18:20,158
Welcome, my old beauty!
422
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,359
Look at that!
423
00:18:21,428 --> 00:18:22,760
VOICE: O� �tes-vous ?
424
00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:24,762
Aah! Patrick, come on!
425
00:18:24,831 --> 00:18:26,831
Hey! Ay, ay, ay...
426
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:29,834
[BOTH LAUGHING]
427
00:18:36,509 --> 00:18:38,776
Why do you pretend you're not smart?
428
00:18:38,912 --> 00:18:40,645
I mean, if I knew French like that...
429
00:18:40,647 --> 00:18:42,513
Every year, I get a new teacher,
430
00:18:42,582 --> 00:18:45,249
and the first thing they say
is, "I taught your brothers."
431
00:18:45,252 --> 00:18:47,652
From then on, I'm stupid or I'm trouble.
432
00:18:47,787 --> 00:18:50,321
If I do well, they say I cheated, so...
433
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,256
Why bother?
434
00:18:52,325 --> 00:18:53,791
That's not fair.
435
00:18:53,827 --> 00:18:56,594
You shouldn't hide who you are.
436
00:18:56,596 --> 00:18:58,195
Look who's talking.
437
00:18:58,231 --> 00:19:00,864
I'm being serious.
438
00:19:00,901 --> 00:19:03,334
You're not your brothers.
You're really special.
439
00:19:08,441 --> 00:19:11,275
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] What's...
what's that over there?
440
00:19:14,447 --> 00:19:15,613
That's Newfoundland!
441
00:19:15,748 --> 00:19:17,081
Cool!
442
00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:18,683
It's pretty.
443
00:19:18,685 --> 00:19:21,953
From a distance.
444
00:19:21,955 --> 00:19:24,889
It's beautiful.
445
00:19:24,958 --> 00:19:28,492
Thought you said France was better.
446
00:19:28,528 --> 00:19:30,695
Sometimes you have to be away
from something for a while
447
00:19:30,764 --> 00:19:32,897
to realize how special it really is.
448
00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:36,634
[SOFT, EMOTIONAL MUSIC]
449
00:19:36,769 --> 00:19:39,771
?
450
00:19:39,906 --> 00:19:43,374
Uh, France have the poodle,
451
00:19:43,509 --> 00:19:47,245
but we have the Newfoundland
dog and the labrador retriever.
452
00:19:47,247 --> 00:19:50,514
We even have our own time zone, and...
453
00:19:50,550 --> 00:19:54,585
Oh, uh, we should get going.
454
00:19:54,654 --> 00:19:57,722
?
455
00:19:57,791 --> 00:20:01,792
?
456
00:20:04,564 --> 00:20:06,597
?
457
00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:09,000
POP: That guide... my God.
458
00:20:09,135 --> 00:20:11,002
I didn't understand
a word she was saying!
459
00:20:11,004 --> 00:20:12,870
[GASPS]
460
00:20:12,939 --> 00:20:14,538
You don't speak French, do you?
461
00:20:14,607 --> 00:20:18,142
[LAUGHS] [UNCORKS BOTTLE]
462
00:20:18,178 --> 00:20:19,877
Woo-hoo-hoo!
463
00:20:19,946 --> 00:20:22,146
Oh, shh!
464
00:20:22,148 --> 00:20:24,682
Mmm.
465
00:20:24,817 --> 00:20:27,618
Mmm...
466
00:20:27,687 --> 00:20:29,687
- Mmm... ooh!
- Oh my God!
467
00:20:31,324 --> 00:20:32,623
Oh my...
468
00:20:32,659 --> 00:20:34,958
Oh... ooh!
469
00:20:34,995 --> 00:20:36,093
Yeah?
470
00:20:36,162 --> 00:20:38,029
You know...
471
00:20:38,098 --> 00:20:41,299
There are a lot of things
that don't get better with age,
472
00:20:41,301 --> 00:20:44,502
but you, my dear, do.
473
00:20:44,637 --> 00:20:47,104
ADULT MARK: Sometimes you
have to be away from something
474
00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:49,240
to realize just how special it is.
475
00:20:49,309 --> 00:20:52,844
Because it's all too easy to take
the things we love for granted.
476
00:20:52,979 --> 00:20:54,779
MIKE JR.: [ON RADIO]
And now, the weather!
477
00:20:54,781 --> 00:20:56,714
Tomorrow until Tuesday,
we can expect light showers
478
00:20:56,783 --> 00:20:58,049
on the Avalon, followed by...
479
00:20:58,051 --> 00:20:59,583
Change the station, will ya?
480
00:20:59,652 --> 00:21:01,052
MIKE JR.: [ON RADIO] ... And drizzle.
481
00:21:01,187 --> 00:21:03,055
- Headin' into the weekend...
- Woo!
482
00:21:03,123 --> 00:21:04,589
Sacred Heart, my back!
483
00:21:04,724 --> 00:21:05,990
Aah!
484
00:21:06,059 --> 00:21:07,991
ADULT MARK: If you can
find someone to love you
485
00:21:08,028 --> 00:21:09,460
for who you really are...
486
00:21:09,462 --> 00:21:13,297
Well, that's what the
French call "l'amour vrai."
487
00:21:13,299 --> 00:21:15,533
True love.
488
00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:18,936
?
489
00:21:31,884 --> 00:21:36,287
?
490
00:21:36,356 --> 00:21:40,023
?
491
00:21:40,060 --> 00:21:45,096
?
492
00:21:45,231 --> 00:21:48,699
?
493
00:21:48,768 --> 00:21:51,035
?
494
00:21:51,085 --> 00:21:55,635
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