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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,445 --> 00:00:03,211 - Bon-jour tout le mond-e! - _ 2 00:00:03,213 --> 00:00:04,546 ADULT MARK: French class. 3 00:00:04,582 --> 00:00:05,948 - _ - Bonjour, ma S�ur Rose. 4 00:00:05,950 --> 00:00:07,082 ADULT MARK: I hated it. 5 00:00:07,084 --> 00:00:08,417 - _ - Comment allez-vous ? 6 00:00:08,552 --> 00:00:09,818 [CLASS MUTTERING REPLIES] 7 00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:10,919 ADULT MARK: The Newfoundland accent 8 00:00:10,955 --> 00:00:12,854 was not meant to parlez-vous. 9 00:00:12,890 --> 00:00:18,160 Can anyone in this class form even one sentence in French? 10 00:00:18,162 --> 00:00:19,495 Mr. Critch? 11 00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:21,296 ADULT MARK: The only French words I knew 12 00:00:21,299 --> 00:00:23,399 were the ones that meant the same in English. 13 00:00:23,534 --> 00:00:25,900 - _ - Je suis... 14 00:00:25,937 --> 00:00:28,703 - _ - All� � la matin�e... 15 00:00:30,574 --> 00:00:34,809 - _ - Avec... ma fianc�e... 16 00:00:34,845 --> 00:00:36,712 - _ - Encore ! 17 00:00:36,781 --> 00:00:38,480 ADULT MARK: I barely knew any French 18 00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,382 but that was still more than my French teacher knew. 19 00:00:40,451 --> 00:00:41,649 - _ - Bien. 20 00:00:41,686 --> 00:00:43,852 - _ - Bi-en! 21 00:00:43,921 --> 00:00:45,521 SISTER ROSE: Anyone else? 22 00:00:45,656 --> 00:00:48,657 [LAUGHS] You're a brain, idiot. 23 00:00:48,792 --> 00:00:50,625 ADULT MARK: There was nothing more shameful at school 24 00:00:50,695 --> 00:00:51,727 than being smart. 25 00:00:51,730 --> 00:00:55,997 You'll all have to do much better before our European trip! 26 00:00:56,033 --> 00:00:57,666 ADULT MARK: Each year, the grade eights travelled 27 00:00:57,801 --> 00:00:59,168 to Europe for French immersion! 28 00:00:59,303 --> 00:01:00,935 Who didn't love France? 29 00:01:01,072 --> 00:01:03,338 France is a horrible place, children. 30 00:01:03,341 --> 00:01:06,208 Bicycles. Nude statues. 31 00:01:06,277 --> 00:01:09,277 The foul stench of wine and cheese 32 00:01:09,313 --> 00:01:12,614 intermingling on the lips... 33 00:01:12,683 --> 00:01:14,483 As they... 34 00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:18,020 French kiss. 35 00:01:18,155 --> 00:01:22,557 That is why I expect you to behave the way Jesus would have. 36 00:01:22,626 --> 00:01:24,693 Like North Americans! 37 00:01:24,828 --> 00:01:27,429 ADULT MARK: I knew that the French would get moi. 38 00:01:27,564 --> 00:01:30,098 Romance, art, Jerry Lewis movies? 39 00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:32,167 I could reinvent myself there! 40 00:01:32,203 --> 00:01:35,703 And maybe impress Fox with my "je ne sais quoi." 41 00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:39,641 [ACCORDION MUSIC] 42 00:01:39,643 --> 00:01:41,977 - _ - Excusez-moi, madame ? 43 00:01:41,979 --> 00:01:43,679 - _ - Est-ce que je vous connais ? 44 00:01:43,681 --> 00:01:45,080 - _ - Croyez-vous en l'amour ? 45 00:01:45,215 --> 00:01:47,416 - _ - L'amour ? 46 00:01:47,551 --> 00:01:51,453 ? 47 00:01:51,489 --> 00:01:56,492 - _ - L'amour est aussi proche que mes l�vres. 48 00:01:56,494 --> 00:01:59,160 Hey, dumbass! 49 00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:04,400 Why is it so close? 50 00:02:04,535 --> 00:02:06,134 What? 51 00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:07,270 That can't be right. 52 00:02:07,271 --> 00:02:09,337 Luckily, we don't have to go to France, 53 00:02:09,373 --> 00:02:12,074 for France has come to us. 54 00:02:12,076 --> 00:02:13,409 ADULT MARK: St. Pierre and Miquelon 55 00:02:13,544 --> 00:02:14,843 is a tiny French island 56 00:02:14,978 --> 00:02:17,746 just 19 kilometres off the coast of Newfoundland. 57 00:02:17,748 --> 00:02:19,148 What a rip! That's not France. 58 00:02:19,283 --> 00:02:21,250 En fran�ais ! 59 00:02:21,252 --> 00:02:23,151 - _ - Zut alors ! �a c'est de la merde ! 60 00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:25,087 ADULT MARK: Fox was fluent in swearing, 61 00:02:25,089 --> 00:02:26,888 but Sister Rose hadn't heard those words 62 00:02:26,957 --> 00:02:28,156 in either language. 63 00:02:28,192 --> 00:02:29,891 Excellent, Fox. 64 00:02:29,927 --> 00:02:33,562 When England won the seven years' war in 1763, 65 00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:34,930 they got Newfoundland, 66 00:02:35,116 --> 00:02:38,817 and France got these two tiny islands. 67 00:02:38,886 --> 00:02:42,220 So we are going to France. 68 00:02:42,222 --> 00:02:43,421 Technically. 69 00:02:43,457 --> 00:02:46,158 ADULT MARK: No Eiffel Tower, no Louvre. 70 00:02:46,293 --> 00:02:48,026 My dreams were "fini." 71 00:02:48,095 --> 00:02:49,828 It's three friggin' hours on a bus! 72 00:02:49,964 --> 00:02:51,363 You better sit with me. 73 00:02:51,498 --> 00:02:53,432 ADULT MARK: Well, then again... 74 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,267 I don't want to be stuck with some loser. 75 00:02:55,269 --> 00:02:56,401 ADULT MARK: Impossible! 76 00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:59,171 N'est pas fran�ais. 77 00:02:59,173 --> 00:03:01,773 ? 78 00:03:01,908 --> 00:03:03,208 Please, can I go? 79 00:03:03,277 --> 00:03:05,010 I don't know, Mark, it's awful far. 80 00:03:05,145 --> 00:03:06,979 Almost four-hour drive with the ferry. 81 00:03:07,114 --> 00:03:08,514 POP: Well... 82 00:03:08,649 --> 00:03:10,716 I suppose I could chaperone, you know? 83 00:03:10,851 --> 00:03:12,851 I haven't been abroad before. 84 00:03:12,853 --> 00:03:14,820 You had your chance with two world wars. 85 00:03:14,955 --> 00:03:17,491 Weren't too concerned about seeing France back then, were ya? 86 00:03:17,491 --> 00:03:19,958 Colour-blind. 87 00:03:19,994 --> 00:03:23,395 I think it could be lovely for him to see the world before he dies. 88 00:03:23,431 --> 00:03:26,097 Whoa, who said anything about dying here?! 89 00:03:26,133 --> 00:03:27,599 I-I guess I could ask? 90 00:03:27,601 --> 00:03:29,134 Hey, excellent. Heh! 91 00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:30,935 Now, just leave a little room 92 00:03:30,972 --> 00:03:33,272 in your suitcase for duty-free. 93 00:03:33,407 --> 00:03:36,074 Hm? Hm. 94 00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:38,043 So... ? 95 00:03:38,112 --> 00:03:39,277 All right. 96 00:03:39,313 --> 00:03:40,745 [EXHALES] Yes! 97 00:03:43,350 --> 00:03:44,850 - Mike? - Mm-hm? 98 00:03:44,985 --> 00:03:46,084 I had a thought. 99 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,685 Mm-hm? 100 00:03:47,722 --> 00:03:49,754 With Mark and Pop gone to Europe... 101 00:03:49,790 --> 00:03:50,955 Oh, yeah. 102 00:03:50,992 --> 00:03:52,290 And Mike Jr. at work... 103 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:53,559 Yes, yeah... 104 00:03:53,694 --> 00:03:55,694 We're gonna have the house all to ourselves... 105 00:03:55,696 --> 00:03:57,128 Mm-hm. 106 00:03:57,164 --> 00:03:59,297 MARY: All alone... 107 00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:02,634 For the first time in seventeen years. 108 00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:08,974 We could get to bed a little bit early. 109 00:04:09,109 --> 00:04:11,476 I could use the sleep! 110 00:04:16,783 --> 00:04:18,650 Windows stay closed. 111 00:04:18,719 --> 00:04:21,253 No unscheduled bathroom breaks. 112 00:04:21,388 --> 00:04:26,258 Like Moses and the Red Sea, this aisle will remain parted. 113 00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:27,992 Those are the rules! 114 00:04:28,029 --> 00:04:30,328 Excuse me, Sister... 115 00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:34,032 Do you mind if I just squeeze past your arse? 116 00:04:36,070 --> 00:04:38,736 Boys and girls! 117 00:04:38,773 --> 00:04:43,408 [ROCK MUSIC] 118 00:04:43,444 --> 00:04:45,744 Bonjour, mes amis ! 119 00:04:45,879 --> 00:04:47,479 Woo! Next stop Europe! 120 00:04:47,614 --> 00:04:48,880 Excited? 121 00:04:48,916 --> 00:04:50,949 It's not real France. It's just a knock-off. 122 00:04:50,951 --> 00:04:52,484 Oh, come on! 123 00:04:52,619 --> 00:04:56,255 Where's your sense of adventure, Little Miss Red, huh? 124 00:04:56,257 --> 00:04:58,957 Do you know what St. Pierre is famous for? 125 00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:00,392 Sucking? 126 00:05:00,394 --> 00:05:01,627 No. 127 00:05:01,629 --> 00:05:02,961 Rum running! 128 00:05:03,096 --> 00:05:04,596 Prohibition! 129 00:05:04,632 --> 00:05:09,101 See, booze used to be illegal then, like drugs are today. 130 00:05:09,103 --> 00:05:12,304 Oh no, St. Pierre was a bootlegger's dream! 131 00:05:12,306 --> 00:05:14,740 Now, quiz! 132 00:05:14,742 --> 00:05:17,443 Who knows who Al Capone is? 133 00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:18,710 The gangster? 134 00:05:18,712 --> 00:05:19,878 Yeah! 135 00:05:20,014 --> 00:05:21,980 He's Robert De Niro! From The Untouchables! 136 00:05:22,049 --> 00:05:23,715 - Oh, yeah! - Will you two shut it? 137 00:05:23,751 --> 00:05:25,551 Go ahead, old man. 138 00:05:25,553 --> 00:05:27,285 I mean, Mr. Critch. 139 00:05:27,287 --> 00:05:31,857 Hm, well, he needed illegal booze for his night clubs, 140 00:05:31,992 --> 00:05:35,060 so he had 80 boats sneaking 141 00:05:35,195 --> 00:05:39,397 300,000 cases a month from St. Pierre to Newfoundland, 142 00:05:39,433 --> 00:05:42,467 and then they'd smuggle them across the border to the States. 143 00:05:42,470 --> 00:05:45,170 He got so rich he built a church 144 00:05:45,305 --> 00:05:47,873 just so that everyone would look the other way. 145 00:05:47,942 --> 00:05:49,474 Okay. That's pretty bad-ass! 146 00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:50,609 Oh, yeah. 147 00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:51,943 Can we go see the church? 148 00:05:51,979 --> 00:05:54,179 Sure, Sister Rose would love that! 149 00:05:54,181 --> 00:05:57,349 ADULT MARK: I was beginning to doubt Pop's reasons for coming. 150 00:05:57,418 --> 00:05:58,984 How do you know so much about it? 151 00:05:59,119 --> 00:06:02,454 I won't have you filling their heads with legends and lies. 152 00:06:02,456 --> 00:06:05,156 And I don't know what possessed you to sign on as a chaperone, 153 00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:07,625 but I know that you could only be possessed by the devil. 154 00:06:07,661 --> 00:06:10,028 Just clear the aisle, Sister. 155 00:06:10,097 --> 00:06:11,963 Those are the rules. 156 00:06:11,999 --> 00:06:15,701 ADULT MARK: This was going to be a long trip. 157 00:06:15,836 --> 00:06:19,438 [ACCORDION MUSIC] 158 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,508 ? 159 00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:26,044 ? 160 00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:28,514 ? 161 00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:29,649 ADULT MARK: France! 162 00:06:29,717 --> 00:06:31,850 Words escaped me. 163 00:06:31,852 --> 00:06:34,720 Mostly because I wasn't good at French. 164 00:06:34,722 --> 00:06:36,588 Did we drive in a circle? 165 00:06:36,624 --> 00:06:38,323 This place looks just like home. 166 00:06:38,392 --> 00:06:40,125 This sucks. 167 00:06:40,127 --> 00:06:42,728 ADULT MARK: I thought Fox would fall in love with France, 168 00:06:42,863 --> 00:06:45,664 and me, but I guess some things just don't translate. 169 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:46,798 [SISTER ROSE CLAPS] 170 00:06:46,934 --> 00:06:49,968 - _ - �cou-tez, l'enfants ! 171 00:06:50,004 --> 00:06:53,405 - _ - Main-tenant, le fran�ais sale-ment ! 172 00:06:53,474 --> 00:06:56,308 ADULT MARK: French immersion became submersion 173 00:06:56,443 --> 00:06:58,343 as Sister Rose drowned in the foreign tongue. 174 00:06:58,345 --> 00:07:00,345 - _ - L'enfants ! Le museum! 175 00:07:00,347 --> 00:07:03,081 - _ - Allez-vous, toute-lemonds! 176 00:07:03,150 --> 00:07:05,283 Oh my Lord. 177 00:07:05,352 --> 00:07:09,554 I never realized you had such a potty mouth. 178 00:07:09,557 --> 00:07:13,292 [ROCK MUSIC STING] 179 00:07:19,733 --> 00:07:22,100 - _ - Madame ? 180 00:07:22,102 --> 00:07:25,103 - _ - Avec moi ? 181 00:07:25,105 --> 00:07:27,305 The only thing that sucks more than your French 182 00:07:27,441 --> 00:07:31,142 - is this trip. - [SEAGULL CAWING] 183 00:07:31,212 --> 00:07:32,344 Exotic. 184 00:07:32,413 --> 00:07:33,578 Oh, no. 185 00:07:33,581 --> 00:07:34,581 No... 186 00:07:38,619 --> 00:07:39,785 Mary? 187 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,653 Who broke the table? 188 00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:44,456 It's just the two of us tonight, so I took the leaf out. 189 00:07:44,458 --> 00:07:46,524 Hm? 190 00:07:46,594 --> 00:07:50,595 [ROMANTIC MUSIC WITH SPANISH GUITAR] 191 00:07:50,598 --> 00:07:51,863 What's this? 192 00:07:51,932 --> 00:07:53,098 French onion soup. 193 00:07:53,233 --> 00:07:55,133 Alice lent me the bowls. 194 00:07:55,135 --> 00:07:56,735 I figured everybody else was in France, 195 00:07:56,804 --> 00:07:58,503 so we should be too. 196 00:07:58,639 --> 00:08:00,739 Onion soup? I-I don't like onions. 197 00:08:00,808 --> 00:08:03,074 There aren't any onions in it, silly! 198 00:08:03,143 --> 00:08:06,144 It's just hot water and French onion soup mix! 199 00:08:06,213 --> 00:08:08,012 What's all this, then? 200 00:08:08,048 --> 00:08:10,682 Swiss cheese. 201 00:08:10,718 --> 00:08:12,484 Swiss, French! 202 00:08:12,486 --> 00:08:15,020 I need a passport just to eat my supper! 203 00:08:15,089 --> 00:08:16,622 Is there any turkey left? 204 00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,690 You couldn't get laid out of a chicken's arse, ya know that? 205 00:08:18,825 --> 00:08:20,158 Good God! 206 00:08:20,294 --> 00:08:22,094 I'm trying to be romantic, ya arsehole! 207 00:08:22,096 --> 00:08:23,562 When do we ever really talk? 208 00:08:23,697 --> 00:08:25,030 All you ever do is talk! 209 00:08:25,099 --> 00:08:26,798 Oh, and you never listen! 210 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,301 - [PHONE RINGS] - I'll get it! 211 00:08:31,939 --> 00:08:33,971 You couldn't get laid in a cage full'a monkeys 212 00:08:34,008 --> 00:08:36,074 with a fist full'a bananas! 213 00:08:40,281 --> 00:08:41,513 Hello? 214 00:08:41,515 --> 00:08:43,315 OPERATOR: You have a collect call from... 215 00:08:43,317 --> 00:08:45,283 [RAPIDLY] Hey, Dad, it's me Mark and everything's okay 216 00:08:45,418 --> 00:08:48,053 but a bird pooped on me but that's good luck, bye! 217 00:08:48,122 --> 00:08:49,387 ADULT MARK: Why pay long distance 218 00:08:49,456 --> 00:08:51,322 when you could jam all you had to say 219 00:08:51,358 --> 00:08:52,957 into the space for the caller's name? 220 00:08:53,027 --> 00:08:54,426 OPERATOR: Will you accept the charges? 221 00:08:54,561 --> 00:08:55,927 God, no. 222 00:08:56,063 --> 00:08:59,263 ADULT MARK: It was like an audio postcard. 223 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:01,633 Oh, that was Mark. He's fine. 224 00:09:01,635 --> 00:09:04,068 Good. 225 00:09:04,104 --> 00:09:05,704 No more interruptions. 226 00:09:05,706 --> 00:09:07,672 You're gonna have a romantic night tonight 227 00:09:07,708 --> 00:09:09,974 if it friggin' kills ya! 228 00:09:10,044 --> 00:09:12,110 [DIAL TONE] 229 00:09:12,245 --> 00:09:13,245 Phone's off the hook. 230 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,546 I know. 231 00:09:14,615 --> 00:09:16,281 You know, Dad... 232 00:09:16,283 --> 00:09:17,749 A woman needs to be romanced. 233 00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,617 Will you get out of it! 234 00:09:26,126 --> 00:09:27,469 - _ - Les �les Saint-Pierre et Miquelon 235 00:09:27,470 --> 00:09:28,470 - _ - �taient une plaque tournante 236 00:09:28,471 --> 00:09:32,831 - _ - pour la contrebande d'alcool vers les �tats-unis. 237 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,165 - What's she saying? - Shh! 238 00:09:34,201 --> 00:09:37,102 - _ - Des criminels notoires s'y sont install�s, 239 00:09:37,171 --> 00:09:40,905 - _ - notamment Al Capone. 240 00:09:40,974 --> 00:09:42,574 She just said "Al Capone"! 241 00:09:42,643 --> 00:09:44,109 Your pop was right! 242 00:09:44,244 --> 00:09:45,777 Ah, yes! Good ear. 243 00:09:45,912 --> 00:09:47,245 - _ - Joyeux No�l! 244 00:09:47,381 --> 00:09:48,780 - _ - Y a-t-il des questions ? 245 00:09:48,915 --> 00:09:50,081 - _ - Madame ? 246 00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:51,249 - _ - Oui, madame ? 247 00:09:51,385 --> 00:09:53,985 - _ - Qu'est-ce que c'est ? 248 00:09:54,121 --> 00:09:57,455 - _ - Une guillotine. 249 00:09:57,591 --> 00:09:58,591 - _ - �a g�re ! 250 00:09:58,625 --> 00:09:59,690 - _ - Oui, tr�s bien ! 251 00:09:59,727 --> 00:10:00,727 Brain! 252 00:10:00,794 --> 00:10:03,194 - What a loser! - Silence! 253 00:10:03,230 --> 00:10:06,665 As you can see, my students speak French fluently. 254 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,735 If you like, you could practice your English for a bit? 255 00:10:10,738 --> 00:10:12,837 [HEAVILY ACCENTED] Uh... my English? 256 00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:15,973 Uh, yes, I speak English very well. 257 00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:28,754 [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC] 258 00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:31,756 Al Capone's hat. 259 00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:34,759 Huh. 260 00:10:34,795 --> 00:10:37,629 Is that so? 261 00:10:37,764 --> 00:10:41,366 [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES] 262 00:10:41,435 --> 00:10:45,036 ? 263 00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:48,640 ? 264 00:10:48,709 --> 00:10:52,043 If the nun can frig off, so can we. 265 00:10:52,112 --> 00:10:53,912 - _ - Excusez-moi ? 266 00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:55,413 - _ - Vous allez o� ? 267 00:10:55,416 --> 00:10:59,217 Sorry. No speak-ez le French-ez. 268 00:11:07,461 --> 00:11:09,393 ADULT MARK: Pop was up to no good, 269 00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:12,864 but this was my chance to show Fox my sophisticated side. 270 00:11:12,999 --> 00:11:16,734 ? 271 00:11:16,804 --> 00:11:19,805 ? 272 00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:23,541 ? 273 00:11:26,613 --> 00:11:29,080 [IN A WHISPER] Patrick? 274 00:11:32,152 --> 00:11:34,285 Patrick? 275 00:11:36,356 --> 00:11:37,356 Rosy! 276 00:11:37,424 --> 00:11:38,490 Aah! Jesus! 277 00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:41,259 Shh, they'll hear you, for goodness sake. 278 00:11:41,394 --> 00:11:43,628 Besides, we're in a house of worship. 279 00:11:43,697 --> 00:11:46,031 It's a little late for you to find God, isn't it? 280 00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:48,399 Somebody must be looking down on me. 281 00:11:48,469 --> 00:11:50,168 They brought me to you, didn't they? 282 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:52,169 Oh, don't start! 283 00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:54,305 Tell me the real reason you're here. 284 00:11:57,478 --> 00:11:59,644 [SIGHS] 285 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:05,183 [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC] 286 00:12:05,185 --> 00:12:06,851 Fine. 287 00:12:06,854 --> 00:12:08,953 [SIGHS] 288 00:12:11,625 --> 00:12:13,992 So, it was 1925. 289 00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:17,929 You had just broken my heart, so I came to St. Pierre, 290 00:12:18,064 --> 00:12:21,933 where I'd heard that this Capone fella needed some guys 291 00:12:22,068 --> 00:12:25,003 to row rum out to the schooners 292 00:12:25,072 --> 00:12:27,539 where the coast guard couldn't find 'em. 293 00:12:27,541 --> 00:12:30,708 They were paying a fortune, 50 cents a gallon. 294 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:32,344 I'd never seen money like that. 295 00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:34,612 I've never been good with temptation. 296 00:12:34,648 --> 00:12:40,085 ? 297 00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:42,821 Well... 298 00:12:42,956 --> 00:12:46,224 Are you coming to hear the rest of my confession? 299 00:12:49,763 --> 00:12:51,963 [CHUCKLES] 300 00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:55,767 [LAUGHTER] 301 00:12:58,104 --> 00:13:00,838 - _ - O� est votre professeur ? 302 00:13:00,874 --> 00:13:02,840 Uh... 303 00:13:02,876 --> 00:13:05,810 What's the French word for "chaperone"? 304 00:13:12,019 --> 00:13:13,118 Voil� ! 305 00:13:13,253 --> 00:13:14,452 Real French cheese. 306 00:13:14,588 --> 00:13:15,987 Ha-ha! 307 00:13:18,091 --> 00:13:19,924 You know, their cheese doesn't come in slices. 308 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,126 No? 309 00:13:21,261 --> 00:13:23,394 Uh, jars of whiz, then? 310 00:13:23,463 --> 00:13:24,996 They have all kinds. 311 00:13:25,131 --> 00:13:28,867 Camembert, brie, and my favourite... 312 00:13:28,869 --> 00:13:31,136 Bleu ! 313 00:13:31,271 --> 00:13:33,738 Ugh, that stuff reeks. 314 00:13:33,740 --> 00:13:35,172 You really had it before? 315 00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:37,208 Le fromage bleu ? 316 00:13:37,277 --> 00:13:38,876 All the time! 317 00:13:38,912 --> 00:13:41,679 I have it with a cream cracker with a cup of tea at bed time. 318 00:13:41,748 --> 00:13:43,414 Goes down smooth. 319 00:13:49,956 --> 00:13:51,089 Uh... 320 00:13:51,158 --> 00:13:54,159 I think it's a little off. 321 00:13:54,294 --> 00:13:56,360 It's supposed to be rotten, dumbass. 322 00:13:56,396 --> 00:13:58,896 But you knew that, right? 323 00:13:58,898 --> 00:14:00,398 Yeah. 324 00:14:00,434 --> 00:14:02,367 I prefer mine more off. 325 00:14:02,502 --> 00:14:05,003 Mm-hm. 326 00:14:05,005 --> 00:14:06,303 Take another bite. 327 00:14:07,707 --> 00:14:08,973 Yeah? 328 00:14:08,976 --> 00:14:09,976 Yeah. 329 00:14:10,043 --> 00:14:11,242 Yeah! 330 00:14:14,247 --> 00:14:16,781 Yeah... [RETCHING] 331 00:14:28,795 --> 00:14:31,062 Oh, for the love of God, Mike, 332 00:14:31,197 --> 00:14:33,131 I will shove that radio up your arse 333 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,199 and that'll be the only action you get. 334 00:14:35,268 --> 00:14:36,435 MIKE JR.: [ON RADIO] And later on, we'll have 335 00:14:37,450 --> 00:14:39,003 Nightline with Ron Pumphrey, but first... 336 00:14:39,006 --> 00:14:40,883 - A request! - Listening to our son 337 00:14:40,884 --> 00:14:43,274 is a bit of a mood-killer, there, Casanova! 338 00:14:43,276 --> 00:14:44,843 MIKE JR.: This is Mike Critch Jr., 339 00:14:44,978 --> 00:14:47,946 and this one goes out to Mom, from Dad... 340 00:14:48,081 --> 00:14:49,881 Which is kind of gross. 341 00:14:50,016 --> 00:14:53,885 Here's The Fureys, with "When you were sweet sixteen." 342 00:14:53,887 --> 00:14:55,787 Oh... 343 00:14:55,856 --> 00:14:58,556 ? ... As I've never loved before ? 344 00:14:58,558 --> 00:15:00,357 [MARY CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 345 00:15:02,195 --> 00:15:06,630 ? Since first I saw you on the village... ? 346 00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:10,634 Oh, Mike! 347 00:15:10,671 --> 00:15:12,904 I guess I'm just out of practice. 348 00:15:12,906 --> 00:15:14,572 Can't blame me for being nervous 349 00:15:14,708 --> 00:15:16,040 around the prettiest girl that I've... 350 00:15:16,043 --> 00:15:17,775 Ah! 351 00:15:17,844 --> 00:15:19,911 Shut up and help me move the beds together. 352 00:15:20,046 --> 00:15:25,516 ? I love you as I loved you ? 353 00:15:25,552 --> 00:15:29,387 ? When you were sweet sixteen... ? 354 00:15:29,389 --> 00:15:32,390 ADULT MARK: We were whatever the French word for "lost" was. 355 00:15:32,392 --> 00:15:35,326 Uh, I think it's this way. 356 00:15:35,462 --> 00:15:36,928 - _ - Blaireau ! Arr�te ! 357 00:15:36,997 --> 00:15:38,562 ADULT MARK: French bullies! 358 00:15:38,598 --> 00:15:41,166 Like the Fox brothers, but with wine and smokes. 359 00:15:41,301 --> 00:15:43,134 - _ - Bonjour, mes amis. 360 00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:46,237 - _ - Du fromage... bleu ? 361 00:15:46,372 --> 00:15:48,973 - _ - Tu parles fran�ais comme une vache espagnole ! 362 00:15:48,975 --> 00:15:51,910 - _ - Ah, oui, oui. Moi, aussi. 363 00:15:51,912 --> 00:15:53,511 - _ - T'es un vrai sans-couilles ! 364 00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:55,513 - _ - Va te faire cuire un oeuf, pompe � chiasse ! 365 00:15:55,648 --> 00:15:57,348 - _ - Casse-toi donc, branleur ! 366 00:15:57,350 --> 00:15:59,384 ADULT MARK: When it came to French curse words, 367 00:15:59,386 --> 00:16:03,121 Fox wasn't a brain, she was a genius! 368 00:16:03,256 --> 00:16:07,024 - _ - �a m'est �gal, esp�ce de plouc ! 369 00:16:07,026 --> 00:16:09,160 I was just about to say the same thing. 370 00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:10,694 Here. 371 00:16:13,366 --> 00:16:16,434 You must think I'm whatever the French word for an idiot is. 372 00:16:16,569 --> 00:16:17,768 [FRENCH PRONUNCIATION] Idiot. 373 00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:19,771 No. 374 00:16:19,773 --> 00:16:21,739 You were actually pretty cute. 375 00:16:24,578 --> 00:16:29,380 So, can you just admit you can read the street signs now? 376 00:16:29,382 --> 00:16:31,682 [SIGHS] It's this way. 377 00:16:34,988 --> 00:16:37,522 Uh, what's a "branleur"? 378 00:16:37,591 --> 00:16:39,724 You're not old enough to know. 379 00:16:39,859 --> 00:16:42,727 - Sorry, come on. - Oh... 380 00:16:46,099 --> 00:16:48,833 RITCHIE: Ah! Yes, here it is! 381 00:16:48,968 --> 00:16:50,602 "Abandonn�." 382 00:16:50,604 --> 00:16:52,603 - _ - Nous sommes... 383 00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:55,139 - _ - Abandonn�s ! 384 00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:56,741 Brain! 385 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,046 Ah, hurry up! 386 00:17:02,182 --> 00:17:05,616 Oh, God, this was so much easier the first time around. 387 00:17:05,685 --> 00:17:08,786 Well, what's down there that's so damn important? 388 00:17:08,789 --> 00:17:11,622 POP: A few bottles in my load kind of got... 389 00:17:11,691 --> 00:17:14,091 Went missing. 390 00:17:14,161 --> 00:17:17,628 Well, they came looking for me, but you know, 391 00:17:17,697 --> 00:17:20,932 you really don't want to be crossing Al Capone. 392 00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:24,535 ? 393 00:17:24,538 --> 00:17:28,239 ? 394 00:17:28,241 --> 00:17:30,274 Find him! 395 00:17:30,343 --> 00:17:32,377 POP: I left something in this church. 396 00:17:32,379 --> 00:17:35,846 I just wanted to see whether it was still there. 397 00:17:35,882 --> 00:17:37,181 Aah! 398 00:17:37,184 --> 00:17:39,250 Yes! 399 00:17:39,385 --> 00:17:40,451 Oh! [CHUCKLES] 400 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,920 They'd kill me if they came back here! 401 00:17:43,056 --> 00:17:44,188 But thank God they're all dead. 402 00:17:44,224 --> 00:17:45,990 So screw 'em. 403 00:17:46,026 --> 00:17:48,259 Now... 404 00:17:48,394 --> 00:17:50,461 What do you know? 405 00:17:50,597 --> 00:17:53,731 [CACKLING EXCITEDLY] 406 00:17:53,733 --> 00:17:54,832 Someone will hear! 407 00:17:54,967 --> 00:17:56,200 - [LOUD CRASH] - Aah! 408 00:17:56,236 --> 00:17:57,735 Oh, Jesus! 409 00:17:57,804 --> 00:17:59,136 No, no! 410 00:17:59,206 --> 00:18:01,272 Good God... 411 00:18:01,407 --> 00:18:02,407 Oh! 412 00:18:02,409 --> 00:18:04,141 Rats' piss! 413 00:18:04,143 --> 00:18:05,810 - They've eaten the money! - [DISTANT VOICES] 414 00:18:05,945 --> 00:18:08,680 My God, don't you people ever clean these churches? 415 00:18:08,715 --> 00:18:09,716 Someone's coming! 416 00:18:09,716 --> 00:18:10,882 All right, all right, all right. 417 00:18:11,017 --> 00:18:12,750 There was one more little thing. 418 00:18:12,886 --> 00:18:14,685 Leave it, you old fool! 419 00:18:14,754 --> 00:18:16,553 Oh-ho! 420 00:18:16,590 --> 00:18:18,089 Well! 421 00:18:18,091 --> 00:18:20,158 Welcome, my old beauty! 422 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,359 Look at that! 423 00:18:21,428 --> 00:18:22,760 VOICE: O� �tes-vous ? 424 00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:24,762 Aah! Patrick, come on! 425 00:18:24,831 --> 00:18:26,831 Hey! Ay, ay, ay... 426 00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:29,834 [BOTH LAUGHING] 427 00:18:36,509 --> 00:18:38,776 Why do you pretend you're not smart? 428 00:18:38,912 --> 00:18:40,645 I mean, if I knew French like that... 429 00:18:40,647 --> 00:18:42,513 Every year, I get a new teacher, 430 00:18:42,582 --> 00:18:45,249 and the first thing they say is, "I taught your brothers." 431 00:18:45,252 --> 00:18:47,652 From then on, I'm stupid or I'm trouble. 432 00:18:47,787 --> 00:18:50,321 If I do well, they say I cheated, so... 433 00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,256 Why bother? 434 00:18:52,325 --> 00:18:53,791 That's not fair. 435 00:18:53,827 --> 00:18:56,594 You shouldn't hide who you are. 436 00:18:56,596 --> 00:18:58,195 Look who's talking. 437 00:18:58,231 --> 00:19:00,864 I'm being serious. 438 00:19:00,901 --> 00:19:03,334 You're not your brothers. You're really special. 439 00:19:08,441 --> 00:19:11,275 [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] What's... what's that over there? 440 00:19:14,447 --> 00:19:15,613 That's Newfoundland! 441 00:19:15,748 --> 00:19:17,081 Cool! 442 00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:18,683 It's pretty. 443 00:19:18,685 --> 00:19:21,953 From a distance. 444 00:19:21,955 --> 00:19:24,889 It's beautiful. 445 00:19:24,958 --> 00:19:28,492 Thought you said France was better. 446 00:19:28,528 --> 00:19:30,695 Sometimes you have to be away from something for a while 447 00:19:30,764 --> 00:19:32,897 to realize how special it really is. 448 00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:36,634 [SOFT, EMOTIONAL MUSIC] 449 00:19:36,769 --> 00:19:39,771 ? 450 00:19:39,906 --> 00:19:43,374 Uh, France have the poodle, 451 00:19:43,509 --> 00:19:47,245 but we have the Newfoundland dog and the labrador retriever. 452 00:19:47,247 --> 00:19:50,514 We even have our own time zone, and... 453 00:19:50,550 --> 00:19:54,585 Oh, uh, we should get going. 454 00:19:54,654 --> 00:19:57,722 ? 455 00:19:57,791 --> 00:20:01,792 ? 456 00:20:04,564 --> 00:20:06,597 ? 457 00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:09,000 POP: That guide... my God. 458 00:20:09,135 --> 00:20:11,002 I didn't understand a word she was saying! 459 00:20:11,004 --> 00:20:12,870 [GASPS] 460 00:20:12,939 --> 00:20:14,538 You don't speak French, do you? 461 00:20:14,607 --> 00:20:18,142 [LAUGHS] [UNCORKS BOTTLE] 462 00:20:18,178 --> 00:20:19,877 Woo-hoo-hoo! 463 00:20:19,946 --> 00:20:22,146 Oh, shh! 464 00:20:22,148 --> 00:20:24,682 Mmm. 465 00:20:24,817 --> 00:20:27,618 Mmm... 466 00:20:27,687 --> 00:20:29,687 - Mmm... ooh! - Oh my God! 467 00:20:31,324 --> 00:20:32,623 Oh my... 468 00:20:32,659 --> 00:20:34,958 Oh... ooh! 469 00:20:34,995 --> 00:20:36,093 Yeah? 470 00:20:36,162 --> 00:20:38,029 You know... 471 00:20:38,098 --> 00:20:41,299 There are a lot of things that don't get better with age, 472 00:20:41,301 --> 00:20:44,502 but you, my dear, do. 473 00:20:44,637 --> 00:20:47,104 ADULT MARK: Sometimes you have to be away from something 474 00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:49,240 to realize just how special it is. 475 00:20:49,309 --> 00:20:52,844 Because it's all too easy to take the things we love for granted. 476 00:20:52,979 --> 00:20:54,779 MIKE JR.: [ON RADIO] And now, the weather! 477 00:20:54,781 --> 00:20:56,714 Tomorrow until Tuesday, we can expect light showers 478 00:20:56,783 --> 00:20:58,049 on the Avalon, followed by... 479 00:20:58,051 --> 00:20:59,583 Change the station, will ya? 480 00:20:59,652 --> 00:21:01,052 MIKE JR.: [ON RADIO] ... And drizzle. 481 00:21:01,187 --> 00:21:03,055 - Headin' into the weekend... - Woo! 482 00:21:03,123 --> 00:21:04,589 Sacred Heart, my back! 483 00:21:04,724 --> 00:21:05,990 Aah! 484 00:21:06,059 --> 00:21:07,991 ADULT MARK: If you can find someone to love you 485 00:21:08,028 --> 00:21:09,460 for who you really are... 486 00:21:09,462 --> 00:21:13,297 Well, that's what the French call "l'amour vrai." 487 00:21:13,299 --> 00:21:15,533 True love. 488 00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:18,936 ? 489 00:21:31,884 --> 00:21:36,287 ? 490 00:21:36,356 --> 00:21:40,023 ? 491 00:21:40,060 --> 00:21:45,096 ? 492 00:21:45,231 --> 00:21:48,699 ? 493 00:21:48,768 --> 00:21:51,035 ? 494 00:21:51,085 --> 00:21:55,635 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33767

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