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1 One of the most important decisions you'll ever make

is who to spend your life with.

Who they are.

Who you are when you're with them.

And if that's the person you really wanna be.

♪ Pain in my chest, pain in my breast Yeah, you were the key ♪

♪ And you know ♪

♪ You know I hate to fight ♪

♪ You know, you know I can't believe... ♪

Now fuck me.

Fairy tales absolutely do come true.

But sometimes you have to go through hell first to get there.

Hold on. Wait.

- Oh, come on. - Don't! Just...

Just don't.

I came to you six months ago with a ring,

with a dream of a life,

and you said no.

- I know. - No, you don't.

It took everything I have to get over you.

I had to...

I had to bury all those feelings...

just to stay alive.

And now...

it's too late.

I met someone.

Gigi.

She's...

She's a model.

Of course she is.

And she's pregnant.

We're gonna start a family together.

I can...

finally make things right.

Be the man you always wanted me to be.

Just with someone else.

Hey.

Oh, my God.

This is so embarrassing. Wow.

I never should've come. Um...

I just... I've been trying to forget about you and this...

part of me for months now, you know?

And then I saw you at Sasha's book event and I...

What event?

This afternoon, at the pavilion.

No, I wasn't there, Billie.

Yes, you were.

I saw you.

Oh, my God.

What about Cooper?

Huh?

What was your plan?

Were you just gonna hide this from him?

I don't know.

I guess so.

That's not who you are.

Or who you wanna be.

Forget me, all right?

Forget us.

You have a choice you need to make.

No, I should just go home

and, like, pretend like none of this ever happened.

Or not.

You are fearless, Billie Mann.

You need to remember that.

And decide what you really want out of your life.

Billie?

Billie?

Billie?

Come on, girl.

- Hey, hey, hey. - You're back!

Of course!

- And I'm exhausted. - Oh.

But I brought reinforcements.

Yeah.

And you got a couch.

I finally unpacked all those boxes,

which means this is really happening.

This is my life now.

For the three days a week you're not in Connecticut with your kids.

- Thanks. - Hey.

Some time to yourself is one of the perks of divorce.

Or so says the DILF I shacked up with in San Fran.

You gotta do a book tour.

A paramour in every city doesn't suck.

I need to write a book first.

Well, now you have time.

Look, we need to get you out of this apartment

and back in the game.

Mm? Mm?

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Get your ass in here.

These clothes are crusty, girl.

Haven't really been going out.

No shit.

It's been months.

You need to stop punishing yourself.

Put on some real clothes.

Maybe a little lip gloss.

Come find our new neighborhood joint.

I don't know, Sash.

Well, I do.

Plus, I got news.

Guess whose bestselling best friend

is going to be interviewed live on national TV tomorrow

by mother-loving Soledad O'Brien?

- No. - Yes!

What?

Cheers, honey.

Yes.

No. What is that? Your phantom diamond?

You miss the noose-like golden handcuff that thing had become?

It's just weird.

It's not weird.

It's just like old times.

We are the hottest women in this place

and plenty of dudes are rightfully checking us out.

- Like him. - Oh.

- And him. - Stop it.

- And him, and him, and him. - Enough. Put your... Stop!

I will not.

Because you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Oh. Well, in that case,

let me just go get my fuck on right now.

- Whoa! - Oh!

- Oh, my... - Easy, killer.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God. Here. No, I got it.

Ow!

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

Perfect, yeah. I was ready for a new nose anyway.

Do you think it's broken?

I don't know.

Maybe you could check it out?

What do you think?

I think you're gonna be fine.

Maybe I could get your insurance information just in case?

I got a pretty high deductible. Might be better to just self-pay.

Anyway, have a great night. I'm really sorry about that.

Whoa, whoa. What's your name?

I never come this far uptown,

but my buddy's playing around the corner at The Beacon so we stopped in.

Now I think I know why.

Oh, my God. Why?

Because it's kismet?

Let me buy you a drink. Find out.

Okay. Well...

I already have a drink so...

Actually...

Hmm. Problem solved.

Her name's Billie, by the way.

Nice to meet you, Billie.

Nice to meet you...

Majid.

- Majid. - It's Persian.

And you?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Half.

My dad.

Listen, I'm flattered.

Though clearly not a big believer in fate.

I'm just out having a drink with my friend.

I'm not really...

Available?

I figured you were too hot to be single.

So who's the lucky guy?

You're back.

You're still awake.

Good.

We need to talk.

I know I said that everything was fine...

and I was hoping it would be fine, but the truth is...

it's not.

Is this your way of explaining where you've been all night?

I went to see Brad.

Yeah, no shit.

Put a tracker on your phone, Billie.

You did what?

I knew you'd go back to him.

This isn't about Brad.

This is about me.

It's about us. It's about our marriage.

Which is pretty much over, don't you think?

I think we need to find out.

Oh, please.

I should have left you six months ago and I was about to,

but your fucking boyfriend convinced me to stay,

telling me that I was the one you wanted, which is clearly not true.

I wanted it to be true.

But the only reason it's been working at all the last six months

is because I took the blame for everything right up until what happened with Trina.

Cooper, I wanna be honest...

with myself and you about who I am and what I want.

And I want us to be able to talk through it.

We should go to counseling.

Fuck counseling.

And fuck you.

Okay. Cooper.

Cooper, you don't mean that, okay? I know you're upset...

I'm not.

I...

I'm just done.

There's no guy.

Lucky or otherwise.

Then lucky me.

No.

Okay, you know what?

Screw it.

You don't wanna go out with me, okay?

I am a messy mess right now

who just blew up her life.

I mean, kind of unintentionally,

but if I'm really being honest, completely intentionally.

I have two young kids. I'm in the middle of a bitter divorce.

But even worse,

I'm pining away for the love of my life, who is with somebody else now,

a fucking model,

and they're having a baby,

so I'm supposed to figure out how to move on without him,

but the only problem is I'm pretty sure I never, ever will.

You're something else.

- So I've been told. - No.

I like it.

Usually, you have to put in three dates

before you get to what's really going on with someone.

Is that the new three date rule?

At this point in my life...

it feels so much better to just skip the dance.

Cut to the chase.

Not that I don't like to dance.

I'm very much looking forward to doing the dance with you, Billie.

Okay.

You're insane. You realize that?

Well, not everything has to make sense to make sense.

Besides, the time right after you blow up your life...

it's usually the most exciting.

Trust me.

What does that mean?

Just that...

what seems like it was the worst day of your life...

might actually have been the best.

Okay.

Thank you, but I am a PhD candidate in psychology

which means I am drowning in aphorisms about how crises build resilience.

Uh, "The future lies in you." "Make your own tomorrow."

I mean, it's all I think about.

Maybe that's your problem.

Too much thinking.

Give me your phone.

Excuse me?

It's how the kids do it these days.

Tomorrow night.

Eight o'clock.

I know a great place in the Village.

Let me take you out.

Get your mind on something else.

Okay?

Dude.

We're good to go.

Kismet.

Yeah.

Now that's what I'm talking about! Ow!

I'm going out!

Let's go, baby!

Daddy?

What's up, bud?

Olga needs you downstairs.

All right. I'm coming.

You all right?

How long is Olga gonna be staying with us?

For a while.

- She's really helping, don't you think? - I want Mommy to come home.

She'll be here tomorrow.

We're taking turns now, remember?

I want us to be home together like a family.

I know you do, bud.

Hey, Olga. What's going on?

This.

Ellary!

Oh, my God. Come here, baby.

Come to Daddy, Els. Come to Daddy.

Come here. Look at you go! Aw!

Come here.

Come here! Aw!

Oh! You did so good!

Look at you.

I'll send Billie the video.

Great.

Look, marriage isn't for everyone.

What's important is that we question everything.

Test our assumptions and the institutions which have grown from them.

Hmm. Would you ever consider marriage yourself?

Hmm...

I recently received a proposal actually,

but turned it down.

Marriage just isn't the right paradigm for me.

So your book is not exactly a how-to guide.

Far from it.

My idea of having it all means doing what I want, when I want,

with whomever I want.

Hmm. An independent woman.

For life.

Sasha Snow.

The Third Way.

Get it, read it, live it.

This is the new world order, ladies, and I like it.

We'll be right back.

And we're out. Back in three with the weather.

- What a pleasure. - I'm such a huge fan.

Thank you.

It was better than I ever could've imagined.

Right?

I am completely out of my body right now.

My God, Sash.

♪ The very thought ♪

♪ To make me come... ♪

♪ Over to yours ♪

♪ It weighs upon my head ♪

♪ And I feel the charge ♪

♪ Pull me south... ♪

I love you.

I love you so, so much.

You did it. Everything we talked about in college,

everything we dreamt about.

Times about a thousand.

And you look stunning.

- Oh. Oh, shit. - No, I got it.

Hey, Billie.

Hi, Kam.

Oh. Hey. Here.

You carry a handkerchief.

Seriously?

Something I picked up in the outback.

Never know when you're gonna need a tourniquet.

What are you doing here?

I am getting interviewed too.

Raising awareness for our disaster relief efforts in the Congo.

You're kidding.

No, I left the Cleveland Clinic.

Now I run an international medical non-profit.

I guess my bleeding heart got the better of me.

I didn't know you were in Cleveland.

Well, what's it been? 17 years?

Hey, let me take you to dinner. I'll tell you all about it.

Are you serious?

Come on.

I know you're not married. You just told all of America you turned down a proposal?

Did some guy come and snatch you up between then and now?

Not exactly.

Excellent.

Dr. Evans, we're ready for you.

Thank you.

I'll send you a car.

Mm-hm.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

I'm breathing.

Now this is kismet.

He's back and clearly still into you

and you are at a completely different place in your life, so this is perfect.

Maybe this is how it was meant to be.

Cooper.

Francesca.

Good morning.

Good morning.

♪ Bite my tongue, turn my head Don't wanna run to you ♪

♪ Lost in emotion, out in the open Tryin' to keep my cool ♪

♪ That's what I'm used to That's what I'm used to ♪

♪ And if you want me I say just have me ♪

♪ I know it's crazy ♪

♪ I gotta tell myself ♪

♪ I gotta, I gotta slow down ♪

♪ I want you, I want you so bad now ♪

♪ I don't wanna stop Need you to control it ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm losing grip In the heat of the moment ♪

♪ I gotta slow down... ♪

♪ I gotta slow down ♪

♪ I want you, I want you so bad now ♪

Oh, shit.

Hey, guys.

New coffee bar on 22.

Worth the trip.

Can't wait to try it.

Holy fuck sticks!

It has been a long time since I saw a 9 a.m. ass grab.

- You did it, didn't you? - Dev.

Yes, you did.

I fucking knew it.

I knew something was going on. There were no weepy phone calls,

no desperate nights crying into your beer.

I figured you had to be fucking somebody. I was hoping it was her.

Aw, that's so romantic.

Just tell me, is it as hot and horny as I imagined?

It's better.

Oh, my God.

You and that naughty little Wharton centerfold?

Okay. All right.

No, dude, I am so damn jealous.

Are you guys just fucking like bunnies all over this place?

- No, absolutely not. - Why not?

What is the point of nailing your coworker

if you're not going to indulge in illicit office sex?

Yeah, except Francesca is not my coworker.

She's my boss.

That's what makes it so hot.

Dev, seriously, you need to keep your mouth shut.

You know the year I've had in this place with HR.

You cannot say anything.

Don't worry. I'm on your side.

By the way, I fucking love Cooper 2.0.

Is there such a thing as one true love?

Are soulmates real?

The ancient Greeks believed that we were, once upon a time,

physically ripped from one another,

doomed eternally to search for our other half.

So the search for love

is thus an attempt to heal the wound of human nature.

And yet...

eternal doom isn't exactly a great way to go through life.

So, what if there are instead many mates for the many different versions of you?

And if one, or...

even two...

are lost to the wind...

it only makes room for the next.

Hey.

Hey.

Sorry about earlier. Um...

Devon swears he's gonna keep his mouth shut.

So...

we're trusting Devon now.

I know.

Ugh. I gotta get ahold of myself.

Don't you dare.

I am just so turned on by you.

The last six months,

have been the best time of my life.

Don't, don't, don't.

If I so much as catch a whiff of you, I'm done.

Call Olga.

Tell her you'll be late and then come to my place.

I can't. I gotta go home and see my kids,

and then I will be back in your bed in 24 hours.

- I don't know if I can wait that long. - You have to.

We have to be good.

♪ Forget about us ♪

♪ Alone on the mountain ♪

Oh, God.

- What happened to you? - I don't know.

Marriage. The burbs.

Okay, you tell me.

What is the appropriate outfit

for a divorced mother of two going on a date in New York City

for the first time in ten years?

Do I wear this?

Absolutely not.

We'd have to at least do a whole sage ceremony first.

Oh.

Come with me.

Um, what's all this?

I thought you were wearing the Balmain you got at Bergdorf's?

I wanted options.

Because it's fun?

Because I'm freaking out about going to dinner

with the ex love of my life, okay?

Honey.

You don't have to go.

Please.

If Brad magically appeared after 17 years and said he wanted to take you to dinner

sans baby mama, would you go?

Look at us.

You told me to step out of my comfort zone and I am,

but so are you.

Going out with a guy who actually means something to you, huh?

Huh? Come on.

Oh, shit.

Um... You know what? Here.

Where are the pants?

Alex.

Hi.

Congrats on Soledad.

Thanks for not mentioning me by name.

Sorry about that.

I should've given you a heads-up.

It's okay.

That's what I get for proposing to a writer.

- Everything is copy, right? - That's not all it was.

Damn straight.

It was also the best sex of your life.

Okay, fine. It was the best sex of my life.

Just because you don't wanna get married doesn't mean we can't still hang out.

Sash?

Um, I'm sorry. I have to go.

Of course you do.

Just remember, my offer still stands.

How's this?

Oh!

Perfect.

You are gonna have a great night.

So are you.

Where's my babies?

Welcome home, Daddy.

Thank you, buddy.

How was your day?

I took Ellary on a hike.

Really?

He set up chairs in the backyard so she could make a loop.

Oh, hey. Who's that?

Uncle Spence.

Uncle Spence. What's going on?

You tell me. I just got off the phone with Mom.

Her and Dad had no idea that you and Billie separated,

let alone I'm acting as your divorce attorney.

Just one sec.

Why are you hiding this like some naughty child?

Please, the last thing I need is Mom and Dad telling me what a shame it is,

how they never thought that I'd be the one with the failed marriage.

- They're worried about you. - Whatever.

- I've got a lot going on right now. - Clearly.

Considering we gave the court my address as your part-time, temporary residence,

but you haven't spent the night there in weeks. Where have you been?

Honestly, having the hottest sex of my life with Francesca.

Oh, wow.

Well, that sounds healthy.

Isn't she your boss?

So the fuck what?

She's also the woman that's appreciated me since day one

and who'd been warning me about Billie for months.

Okay, okay. Hold on.

I know we're all supposed to be hating on Billie,

but she is the mother of your children, and she will be for life,

and you need to deal with that one way or the other.

Hopefully, that doesn't turn you into an asshole

with a giant chip on your shoulder and hate in your heart,

because trust me, I was that guy. That is not you.

Hey, you okay?

Maybe I am that guy now. Maybe I changed.

Maybe I smartened up.

You've always been the knight in shining armor ever since we were kids.

Do you remember senior year when I snuck into the city

to go to my first gay club?

Yeah, I remember.

I got so drunk flirting with that kid who said he was in the Blue Man Group

that I ended up in the East Village at 3 a.m.,

with no shirt, shoes, wallet, just a bunch of blue handprints on my ass.

That's a classic.

And who showed up? Dependable, sober, gave me a ride home.

Even proofread my capstone paper for me.

I did.

So go on, shack up with your hottie boss all you want.

I've seen worse post-divorce freak-outs before, but...

someday, I hope you remember who you really are.

A nice guy.

It's not a bad thing.

It's what I love most about you.

- I'll talk to you later. - Coop...

Hi.

You made it.

I wasn't 100% sure you would show.

Well, you put a reminder alarm on my phone, so...

- Did I? That was smart. - Mm.

I thought we could sit at the chef's counter,

- get a sense how this place tastes. - Yeah, sure. Great.

Come with me.

Um, shouldn't we check in with the hostess first?

You're acting like you own the place.

Uh, well, I don't own all of it.

At least not yet.

I have investors, but...

yeah, this is mine.

This is what I blew up my life to come do.

Come on.

Bellissima.

What is going on?

I thought you said dinner.

Oh, there will be food.

Seriously, what are we doing here?

This is our place.

I know.

Okay, fine.

I wanted to do something special to celebrate,

because I didn't just run into you this morning by chance.

I was given a choice of dates,

and when I saw your name on the list, I knew I had to go today,

just to see your face, even if you were married,

even if it was nothing more than a catch up between old friends.

We were never just friends.

You wanna come inside and have a look?

Oh, my God. I can't.

But, yes, bring it on.

Bring me everything.

I think this is actually one of everything on our menu.

Mm. You did the ordering, not me.

Oh.

I like that you like to eat.

Well, I like that your food is so damn good.

- Are all of these recipes yours? - Oh, yeah. Well...

some of them were borrowed from my mom.

She must be so proud.

I think she's getting there.

But no one was happy when I moved to New York.

I used to be in finance.

In Doha.

You're kidding me.

I did everything the way I was supposed to.

I had everything I was supposed to want.

Except?

Nothing felt... right.

'Cause way down deep,

there was this itch for something more

and a sinking feeling that if I didn't put aside all the supposed-to's

and at least try to go for it, for this...

dream I've had since I was a little boy,

I'd regret it for the rest of my life.

That's really brave.

I need you to talk to my mom.

I'm not sure she saw it that way.

I had just enough money for a food truck when I got here.

- I started at the Brooklyn Flea. - I love that place.

I slept in that truck for months.

But now, six years later...

turns out, that itch was right.

That itch...

has gotten me into trouble my whole life.

That's good trouble.

Appetite, desire,

those are the things that tell you you're still alive.

Otherwise, what's the point?

So you wanna tell me how you pulled this off?

Well, I have my ways.

Running an NGO with a board full of New York's richest

and most powerful has its perks.

Ah.

You still a Goya fan?

Well, the Nude Maja always have a very special place in my heart.

- No, I'm actually into abstract art now. - Oh.

I've learned that life isn't always so straight ahead.

You think things are going one way, and then...

Something happens, which turns everything upside down.

Come here.

Oh, my God. Kam...

what did you do?

I'm just saying, there's a hidden narrative

about existential freedom that was absolutely intentional.

What, you don't buy it?

- I have something to tell you. - Okay.

I got into Stanford Med School.

What are you talking about?

We made a list of where we were applying so we could stay together,

- and Stanford was not on it. - I know, I know. It was a wild shot.

I didn't tell you because I didn't think I'd get in.

But now...

You wanna go.

It's Stanford.

I am gonna miss you so much.

You don't have to.

Come with me.

Kam, I didn't even apply to any grad programs anywhere in California.

- What am I gonna do out there? - You surf.

Lay on the beach, drink great wine.

But that's not what I want. That's not who I am.

You really think I'd be happy just watching you go off

and start your career while mine dies on the vine.

We'll check out schools when you get there.

You can enroll in spring semester or take the year.

But I'm already behind,

because I took a semester off to follow you to Rome.

It was Rome,

and this is California.

This is what our life is, baby, grand adventures.

I just want us to take them together.

I do too, but...

You know what?

Come on.

Let's take the biggest adventure of all.

Kam, what are you doing?

What I should have done that night in Rome.

Marry me, Sasha Snow.

I will give you a life bigger and better than you ever dreamed.

When I'm through this program, we can go anywhere you want.

I just... I don't wanna wake up a single morning

without you in my arms.

Okay, fine.

Is that a yes?

- Are you gonna be my wife, Sasha Snow? - Yes!

- Yes? - Yes, yes.

- Yes? Oh, my God. - Yes.

It's been 17 years,

and I have never stopped thinking about that moment.

I know things went sideways, but none of that matters now.

Stop, stop.

This is...

I...

I need a second.

- Sasha, wait. - No, you wait.

For once.

Sash?

Gran?

Hey.

What are you doing?

More like what are you doing?

Packing to move to Cali with my hot fiancé.

Just giving it all up for some man?

Gran, it is one semester.

It already was one semester.

Now it's a year, at least.

You are slipping away from yourself.

That's not what this is.

I know guys like Kam.

All too well.

How easy it is to get swept up into his dreams.

Sooner or later, you got to stand up for what you want.

- This is what I want. - It's not all you want.

I will come back to that later. My work...

That's what everybody says when they make this choice,

but trust me, a lot of women, just as smart as you, never do.

Well, I'm not you.

I know what I'm doing.

Then why didn't you open the letter?

From Columbia?

The grad program that actually is your dream?

Maybe because you were too scared.

Thought you might be tempted,

didn't wanna have a Plan B you might actually want to take.

That is not the reason.

Then open it.

Fine.

I got in. Okay?

But this changes nothing.

And that alone should be enough to scare you.

Kam?

- Listen. - I'm sorry.

I know this is a lot.

I don't know what went wrong before.

Clearly, you didn't feel as much as I did, but...

Bullshit!

That was never the problem.

It wasn't that I didn't feel enough. It's that I felt too much.

What are you talking about?

You can't just bring me here, to this place,

and expect me to drop everything again.

- Wait, Sasha, please. - No.

This is what you do, Kam.

You go from zero to 60 in a second,

and sweep everything along in your path.

But I will not lose myself again.

You didn't have to bring me all the way back uptown.

I know the cool kids never cross 14th Street.

Well, I'm not that cool.

Besides, I've had good luck in these parts.

Oh, yeah?

Well, thank you for an amazing evening,

one I honestly...

I didn't know if I'd ever have again.

This is just the beginning.

Promise.

I'm sorry.

I have to take it slow.

- This is all... - Don't worry.

We got time.

Plus, I just pictured the whole thing in my mind,

and it was... incredible.

- I'm gonna go back to work. - Okay.

- Have a good night. - Yeah, you too.

Oh, my God.

What happened?

Gran's right.

I can't do this. I can't just throw everything away for some guy.

- Well, what did Kam say? - Nothing.

I didn't tell him.

I couldn't. I just...

turned around at the airport and walked out.

So he doesn't even know?

Sash, answer it.

Tell him what's going on.

I can't.

If I do, I won't stay strong.

I'll be on the next flight out. I know it.

Bills.

Hey, how's it going?

I screwed up big time.

Already?

Mm. Ha.

Um, well, it turns out that Majid's awesome.

And he's just like me in so many ways.

And what are the odds, you know, of finding somebody

who's okay with all my baggage,

plus, smoking hot?

So, what did you do?

I chickened out.

At the last second, he was...

trying to kiss me, and...

Oh, girl...

go back and kiss that man.

It is not too late.

Do you know what I was thinking in that moment when I could smell him

and I could feel his breath on mine?

"How dare you?

What right do you have to be happy?"

Stop. Do not do that.

You're the one who said we were stepping out of our comfort zones.

You're right.

Okay. All right.

How is it going with Kam?

It's a dream come true.

- Cooper. - Dave.

- How are you? - Burning the midnight oil?

- I'm impressed. - Well, I'm just checking on Francesca.

We've got the presentation tomorrow.

I can't wait to hear it. You two are on fire.

- I'll see you tomorrow. - Betcha.

Hey.

I'm so glad you called.

Stop talking.

Cooper.

What's going on?

♪ Up the whole night ♪

♪ Undefined ♪

I couldn't wait another second.

♪ Can't stop thinking about Peace and war... ♪

I thought we were being good.

I'm done being good.

♪ The sun takes everything ♪

♪ It could've been anything ♪

♪ I didn't feel anything... ♪

Jesus Christ!

What the hell's going on?

Love can be scary.

But life can be scary,

and ultimately, a series of risks,

the ones you take,

the ones you don't,

the ones you wish you had.

But perhaps, the biggest risk of all

is allowing yourself to let go.

To break free of the past,

live in the present,

and believe...

you really can make your own tomorrow.

♪ It could've been anything ♪

♪ I didn't feel anything ♪

Majid.

♪ Up the whole night ♪

♪ Underline ♪

♪ Chain smoking like No, it ain't right... ♪

You came back.

It's that itch.

Hey, man.

♪ It could've been anything ♪

♪ I didn't feel anything... ♪

What are you doing?

Do you guys know each other?

Brad's one of my investors.

Oh, my God.

He's the guy.

Hey, honey. Who's this?