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MUSIC: Merry Xmas Everybody
by Slade
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00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:12,640
# Are you hanging up
your stocking on your wall?
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00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:19,960
# It's the time when every Santa
has a ball
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00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,559
# Does he ride a red-nosed reindeer?
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00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:30,199
# Does a ton-up on his sleigh?
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00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:36,279
# Do the fairies keep him
sober for a day?
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# So here it is, Merry Christmas
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# Everybody's having fun
It's Christmas!
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# Look to the future now
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# It's only just begun... #
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DOORBELL RINGS
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00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,639
Hello, darling.
13
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:05,959
I just dropped off the last
of my Christmas cards.
14
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Thought I'd swing by to confirm
you're still OK to do
15
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,799
the bread sauce - because that time
your dad tried to make it,
16
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,319
well, it was like glue.
17
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,079
Oh, hello, Ralph.
18
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I like your hat.
19
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Thank you. And I thought, Ralph,
since this is your first Christmas
20
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with the family, you might like
to do the pigs in blankets,
21
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the crowd-pleaser?
22
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Only I've already bought the pigs,
and the blankets,
23
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so it's just squishing them
in together, really.
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We'll sort it. Thanks, Mum. Great.
25
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Right, I'll be off then.
26
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I'm just so excited for us all
to be together on the big day.
27
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What's she on about?
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We're not going there for Christmas.
29
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Yes, we are. It's all arranged.
30
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But I told my mum that we're going
to hers for Christmas.
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It's all been arranged.
32
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OK, so you said you'd go
to Katie's parents?
33
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,159
We didn't.
34
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,239
And you were going to talk
to your mum? I never said that.
35
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,159
Right, so there's been
a miscommunication.
36
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,319
The main thing is,
what do you want to do now?
37
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We should go to my mum and dad's.
38
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They've had a tough time.
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They need me.
That's a good point.
40
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,839
I can't leave my mum all alone.
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00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,919
Also a good point.
42
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,359
But couldn't Louise go with you
to Katie's parents'?
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She wouldn't have that.
44
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,159
No, he's right. She insists on
being at home at Christmas.
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I mentioned Lapland
might be nice for a change
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and she looked at me like
I'd shat in Santa's Grotto.
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It's OK.
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We'll go to your parents.
I will talk to my mum.
49
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Aww, you two.
50
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,319
I wish I could bottle you.
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I don't mean, like, physically.
I mean, you know,
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you're so lovely together.
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Couple goals.
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What about you?
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Eh?
56
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Who are you spending Christmas with?
Me nan.
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00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,119
What about Tom?
58
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,999
Well, ah... I guess he'll be
at home with his folks.
59
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,919
Have you not asked him?
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00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,040
It's just what you do, innit?
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00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,240
When are you going to talk
to Louise?
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00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,399
You must've read my mind.
These blooming things,
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00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,519
every year. I thought they'd
look nice around the window.
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Here. It's good you popped round.
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00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,359
I wanted to go through the plans
for Christmas. Right.
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00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,439
Is Katie still all right
to sort the mince pies?
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00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,719
Thought I'd come over tomorrow
and get them. Mum...
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00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,919
Then I'll do a final shop,
so if there's anything
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00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,480
that you want me to get...
How's that happened?
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00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:41,399
Mum, can I...? Do you remember that
Christmas we had the power cut?
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00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,199
I spent all that time peeling spuds,
72
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,919
only for the oven to go off
halfway through.
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00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,839
We had no hot water, no telly.
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00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:52,999
Just you and me wrapped in blankets,
playing cards and eating beans.
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Cold beans.
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00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,119
Do you know, Ralph,
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I think that's the best Christmas
dinner I've ever had.
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00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,559
Just you and me.
79
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,679
And of course it'll be lovely
to have Katie over this year.
80
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,480
The three of us.
81
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,040
My new family.
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Blimey.
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00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,680
I could come over all emotional,
if I had a heart!
84
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:20,040
I'm just really
looking forward to it.
85
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,719
Anyway, was there something
you wanted,
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00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,919
or did you just come round
to rescue your mum?
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I'm just saying hello.
88
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Right, then.
I'll get the kettle on.
89
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,760
Unless you fancy cold beans.
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00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,239
I'm sorry. I couldn't tell her.
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It's OK.
92
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,320
I don't want to let my mum down.
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You won't.
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We will talk to her together
tomorrow.
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00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:52,759
Parents are weird.
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00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,040
Christmas is weird.
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00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,040
BIRDS CHIRP
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DOORBELL RINGS
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00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,319
KATIE GROANS
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# Ding dong, merrily on high!
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# In heav'n the bells are ringing
102
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# Ding dong, verily the sky
103
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,799
# Is riv'n with angels singing
104
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,879
# Glo... #
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00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,919
Come on, lazy bones. We need you to
shake a tin in the town square.
106
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:49,240
Get yourself dressed.
# ..o-oria, hosanna... #
107
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My mum needs me to get dressed.
108
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,879
We'll talk to her later
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00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,639
about Christmas.
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Yep.
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# Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o
O-o-o-o-o-o-o... #
112
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:10,119
Oh, it's lovely, isn't it,
Christmas Eve?
113
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,999
It was always your favourite.
114
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:16,279
The shopping, the carols,
the carrot for the reindeer.
115
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:18,719
It's nice for a lie-in.
116
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,599
I was thinking, do you and Katie
want to stop over tonight,
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and then we can do presents
first thing?
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00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,680
I've got chocolate croissants.
119
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,679
Come back to ours after this.
120
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,399
We'll talk about it.
121
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,200
Oh, OK.
122
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:40,039
Right, ladies and gentlemen,
shall we get going?
123
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,759
# La... #
124
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,679
How did she take the news
about Christmas Day?
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She doesn't know.
It's not the right time.
126
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,599
Well, don't hang about.
Bandits at three o'clock.
127
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# ..cattle shed
128
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# Where a mother laid her baby
129
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,799
# In a manger... #
130
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:03,999
All right, Ralph?
131
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,399
Lovely morning for it.
132
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,199
I need you to shake this over there.
133
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Right, but I've not quite...
finished me shopping.
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It's for charity.
135
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Right.
136
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:20,799
# He came down to Earth from heaven
137
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# Who is God and Lord of all
CAMERA SHUTTER
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# And His shelter was a stable
139
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:36,240
# And His cradle was a stall... #
140
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,919
KATIE: Morning, Brian.
141
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Morning.
142
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Can't let our feathered friends
go hungry this time of year.
143
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,999
Excited for Christmas?
144
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,759
I'm going to me sister's.
145
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,039
She slathers everything
in goose fat.
146
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She doesn't seem to understand
I'm half a buttered crumpet away
147
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,159
from a lifetime on statins.
148
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:02,479
Where will you two
be spending tomorrow?
149
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:03,999
Good question.
150
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,759
Mum wants us there.
151
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,519
Oh. And Ralph's mum?
152
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,999
Wants us there. That's Christmas
for you, I'm afraid.
153
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,759
A magical time of year
where we celebrate
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00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:18,119
the birth of our saviour
with a family argument
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00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,680
and an extra dollop
of emotional blackmail.
156
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:29,520
You know where I am,
in case of emergencies.
157
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,639
Thanks for the Christmas cake,
by the way.
158
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:38,359
I'm allergic to marzipan,
but I will make the best of it.
159
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,639
DOORBELL RINGS
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00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,199
KATIE SIGHS
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Nice one, though.
162
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I'll make good use of these.
See ya.
163
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,799
Yuletide cappuccino.
164
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:51,519
I like the antlers, by the way.
Thanks. I got a bit carried away.
165
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,519
I mean it. You look like
a hot Rudolph.
166
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Cheers.
167
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If this is what you're like in
the build-up I can't wait to see you
168
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,399
on the day itself. I think
I've peaked, to be honest.
169
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It'll be quieter tomorrow.
Nan'll be cooking,
170
00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:03,639
and she likes us to watch
Strictly together.
171
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,519
I could get on board with that.
I love a bit of ballroom.
172
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:07,640
Oh, right.
173
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,759
That was me inviting myself
to yours, by the way.
174
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,999
Oh! Really? I mean, it's not...
175
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,759
We don't...really do anything.
We're really dull,
176
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,960
and Nan'll probably nod off, so...
Fine with me.
177
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,439
Well, it's...
178
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,639
It's probably a bit early
for meeting the family.
179
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Is it? Isn't it?
180
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,439
Oh. OK.
181
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,119
No, no, I didn't mean it...
Like, y'know, it's just,
182
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,639
it's Christmas, you know?
Turkey and that.
183
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,479
I mean, who even likes turkey?
184
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,279
I mean, it's all a big pressure,
b-but maybe we could...
185
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,999
No. You're...
186
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,999
..probably right. Too soon.
187
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,440
I'll see you on the other side,
then. Happy Christmas.
188
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,879
I bought Clare an egg poacher.
189
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,639
The Egg Poacher Supreme.
190
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,759
The sales guy said
it's a big hit with the ladies.
191
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,079
Does she like eggs?
I'll just say hello to your mum.
192
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,399
She's busy.
193
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,159
Thanks for volunteering, Steve.
194
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:04,999
Ralph didn't give me much choice.
195
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,399
You all set for the big day?
196
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,439
Oh, you know Clare.
Everything has to be perfect.
197
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,559
Especially this year,
with our guests of honour.
198
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,879
Who are they, then? What?
Your guests of honour?
199
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,080
Well, Ralph here, and Katie.
200
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,519
Oh, not like that.
201
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,559
Maybe if you use another
jelly sweet.
202
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,520
DOOR OPENS
203
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,599
Nothing more Christmassy
than our gingerbread house.
204
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:40,839
Hi, Louise.
205
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,640
Hello.
206
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:45,919
Everything all right?
207
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,199
Well, it's funny you should
ask that, Clare,
208
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,879
because there seems to have been
a bit of a mix-up. Mix-up?
209
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:53,479
With tomorrow. Louise thought
the kids were going to her.
210
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,039
But it's all arranged. They're
coming to us for Christmas Day.
211
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,399
Well, that's just it, you see,
because I don't seem to have
212
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,719
a note about that in my calendar,
which is a bit strange,
213
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,359
wouldn't you say? Mum...
214
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,239
You're right. It's very strange.
215
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,519
The thing is, I've already
pre-ordered the turkey.
216
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,839
It's a corn-fed Norfolk bronze.
Organic.
217
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,159
How lovely. Ralph doesn't
usually eat turkey,
218
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,479
but I'm sure he'll make do.
We always have goose. Mum!
219
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,999
Well, goose can be a bit fatty,
can't it?
220
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,679
I assure you I've thought
of everything.
221
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,479
Been planning this for months.
And you did have 'em at Easter...
222
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,599
So we're not counting
your summer barbecue, then?
223
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,999
You were invited. Or your little
shindig on Bonfire Night?
224
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,119
Well, now you're just
splitting hairs. Mum!
225
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,879
TIMER BUZZES
I've got it.
226
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,959
Christmas. Who'd have it?
227
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,679
You and Clare, apparently. Ow!
CRASH
228
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:37,560
I'm fine. Everything's fine.
229
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,679
Look, I know you're closed,
230
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:49,079
but I need a coffee
and somewhere to hide.
231
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,999
Why? What's going on?
It... It's Christmas.
232
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,519
Christmas is what's going on.
233
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:54,799
Danny.
234
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,399
DANNY SIGHS
235
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,560
I managed to ruin things with Tom.
236
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,319
You know, I just didn't expect him
to ask me directly
237
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:05,759
about Christmas Day.
238
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:07,359
That must have been a surprise,
239
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,599
what with it being Christmas Eve
and everything.
240
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,839
Yeah, I panicked, all right?
I thought you liked him.
241
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,599
I do, and you know, that's why
I want it to be just us for now,
242
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,479
you know, getting to know
each other,
243
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,359
without any of the other...stuff.
244
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,759
Is it such a disaster that
he wants to spend time with you?
245
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,719
No. But I just think
it's a bit soon for him
246
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,719
to be coming round to me nan's
and her, you know,
247
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:27,999
getting the photo albums out.
248
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,839
That's what you're scared of, is it,
249
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,400
that she'll show him baby photos
of you in the bath?
250
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,359
Or is it that you think
the more he learns about you
251
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:38,880
the less he'll like you?
252
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:42,999
Look, you know me,
253
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,799
and I'll always tell you
the truth. But I think...
254
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,879
Yeah, but you're
a hopeless romantic.
255
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,600
Eh, less of the hopeless,
thank you.
256
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,679
Fine, I'm a romantic,
257
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:57,479
but I'm also a businesswoman now.
258
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,839
And I know a good thing
when I see it.
259
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,239
Trust me.
260
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,199
I'm sure the more Tom sees of you,
the more he will like you.
261
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,040
You're lovely.
262
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,920
You're being kind.
263
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,359
Do you wanna stick around
for a bit,
264
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,079
help me Emma-fy this place?
265
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,999
Nah, I should be going.
266
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,480
Thanks for the coffee.
267
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,960
TAPPING
268
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:45,639
I'm sure we can come to
an arrangement about tomorrow.
269
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,119
Perhaps.
270
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,959
We could join forces.
271
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,759
How about you all come over
to my place? More the merrier.
272
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,559
Job done. That hand'll be
no good for cooking,
273
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:58,680
and, well, goose might be
a nice change.
274
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:01,999
Fatty goose. Lovely.
275
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,159
I'll still be doing
my famous bread sauce.
276
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,559
Right, then. That's settled.
277
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:08,520
I thought you liked my turkey.
Shall we say 12 o'clock?
278
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,199
Steve, pass me the clipboard.
279
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,759
DISTANT: Now, what are your thoughts
on the hors d'oeuvres?
280
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,559
I'm a vol-au-vent traditionalist
myself.
281
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:19,919
So that's decided.
282
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,159
Yeah.
283
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,800
Merry Christmas.
284
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:30,200
MUSIC: Merry Christmas Everyone
by Shakin' Stevens
285
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,839
# Snow is falling
286
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,319
# All around me
287
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,799
# Children playing
288
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,159
# Having fun
289
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,839
# It's the season
290
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,399
# Love and understanding... #
291
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,280
Merry Christmas.
292
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,919
Merry Christmas, Emma.
293
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,319
EMMA GASPS
I love it!
294
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,919
LAUGHTER
Oh...
295
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,399
You're the boss now. I know.
296
00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,959
My very own baking empire.
297
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,999
I feel like Mary Berry.
298
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,879
Aww, this is perfect.
299
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,759
Tom got me an apron too,
300
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:08,519
but it's a bit cheeky to wear
in front of the customers.
301
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,400
It's a shame that Tom's not here.
302
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,319
Erm, that one's...
303
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,080
That one's from me.
304
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,559
Hmm. Football-themed
bathing accessories.
305
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,079
The ultimate festive gift.
306
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,519
Cheers, Danny.
307
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,559
Right, let's leave
these lovebirds to it. Yes.
308
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,559
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, guys.
309
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,400
BOTH: Merry Christmas!
310
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,279
It's not too late
to sort things out, you know.
311
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,279
You just... You need to explain.
312
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:52,159
If I call him now, he'll just think
it's cos I'm lonely at Christmas.
313
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,920
But you are lonely at Christmas.
314
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,239
Honestly, if you carry on like this,
you'll end up like Brian.
315
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,279
Just talk to Tom.
316
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,600
Brian's got some good qualities.
317
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,199
I've got to go.
318
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,439
Nan'll be on the Baileys by now,
so...
319
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,080
Happy Christmas, mate.
320
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,280
Oh... Thank you.
321
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,520
Mm...
322
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,719
You brought your turkey, then?
Just in case.
323
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,959
I insisted. Clare makes
the best turkey on the planet.
324
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,639
I could eat this stuff all day.
325
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:41,959
You know, I am blessed.
326
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,880
Truly, truly...blessed.
327
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,359
Wine?
328
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,680
Yes, please.
329
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,719
Are Ralph and Katie on their way?
330
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,080
I'm sure they'll be here any minute.
331
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,400
MARIACHI-STYLE MUSIC
332
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:35,960
Best. Christmas. Ever.
333
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,799
It smells a bit...cheesy.
334
00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,480
That'll be the Roquefort.
335
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,039
Blimey. I hope everyone's hungry.
336
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,000
PHONE ALERTS
Oh...
337
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:12,840
Aww.
338
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,999
They're not coming?
339
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,599
Doing things their own way.
340
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,879
I suppose we did rather
bulldoze them.
341
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,760
MUSIC: Lonely This Christmas
by Mud
342
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,159
Well...
343
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,479
..more food for us, I suppose.
344
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:33,119
Come on, Steve. We've got
a lot of these to get through.
345
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:36,999
# It'll be lonely
this Christmas... #
346
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,879
CRACKER POPS
347
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,639
CHEERING ON TV
348
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,319
# Every single year on Christmas Day
349
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,439
# We've got these old traditions
and they never change
350
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:51,039
# Mom is worried that
the turkey's up in flames
351
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,239
# And Uncle Bobby's stuck
on the motorway
352
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:57,039
# Everybody smells like
cheap cologne
353
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,839
# Got a full house... #
354
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,280
BRIAN ARGUING IN BACKGROUND
355
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,399
# Enough to make Santa insane
356
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,839
# We sleep and we wake up
We fight and we make up... #
357
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,679
RINGING
358
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,719
# I guess I kinda like it
this way... #
359
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,679
Do you think you could
get away for a bit?
360
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,239
Yeah. Why?
I could use a break from my folks.
361
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,440
See you in the town square? Great.
362
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,760
Brian's having a bad day.
363
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,039
Would you like a cup of tea?
364
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,400
Please.
365
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,679
Nice place you've got here.
366
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,399
Really nice.
367
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,800
I know.
368
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:09,000
Thank you.
369
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:12,119
Thanks for having me.
370
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:14,879
I was supposed to be
at me sister's by now,
371
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,519
but I said her sprouts
were unconventional.
372
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,479
So I've been banned.
373
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,360
Have you eaten?
374
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,959
We've got pizza.
375
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,400
And beer.
376
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,839
Oh...
377
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:32,600
Thank you.
378
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:39,279
So then I said that they WERE
misshapen and different sizes,
379
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,559
and I could only paint what I saw.
380
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,159
And they didn't like that.
381
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,799
So that was the end for me
and life drawing, I'm afraid.
382
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:51,120
Have you finished your tea, Brian?
That's my cue.
383
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:57,279
So it appears you got the Christmas
you wanted in the end, Katie.
384
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:01,399
And it turns out I did too,
thanks to you two.
385
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:05,519
You know, it's no secret -
when you first moved in here,
386
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,879
I didn't know what to expect.
387
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,319
Let's just say it wasn't this.
388
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:15,319
Now, I really should be
leaving you to it.
389
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:19,239
I'm sure you've got lots of
nice gifts to dig into.
390
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,800
Merry Christmas.
391
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,279
Ey, that's very generous.
392
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,960
Hey, hey, hey!
393
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,559
Oh!
394
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:34,159
Well, I'm not usually one
for football,
395
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,679
but I do love
a statement waterfowl.
396
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,199
Merry Christmas, Brian.
397
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,199
I'll think of you, Ralph,
398
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,639
every time I perform my ablutions.
399
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,439
Thank you.
400
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,239
Cheerio!
401
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,400
Merry Christmas.
402
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:13,999
You're not Emma.
403
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,479
Sorry to disappoint.
No, please, I...
404
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:17,919
It's great to see you.
405
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,800
Even if you don't want to see me.
406
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:25,680
Emma's doing?
407
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,279
I told her I thought
I'd messed things up.
408
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,240
Full marks for self-awareness.
Have I?
409
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,840
Have I messed things up?
410
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,920
You're lucky I'm a sucker for pie.
411
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,319
I got all in my head, and...
412
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,919
And I didn't know what
you'd expect from Christmas,
413
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,839
and, you know, I'm not good
at all the boyfriend stuff.
414
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:55,000
Boyfriend stuff? You know, cards,
presents, parents, gestures.
415
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:59,559
I never know what's too much
and what's not enough.
416
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,239
So I tend to underplay things and...
417
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,479
And that comes over as indifferent.
418
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,160
Cold and hostile, even. Really?
419
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:11,600
Shit.
420
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,800
Well, thank goodness for Emma
and her emotional pastries, eh?
421
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,359
I thought you'd gone off me.
No, no, I...
422
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:25,439
I really like you. I just...
423
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,639
I panicked when I thought
about you coming to mine,
424
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,200
seeing a different side to me. I...
425
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:35,359
..didn't want to put you off,
when you're so...
426
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,639
What, confident?
427
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,200
You think this comes naturally?
428
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,800
Bundle of nerves, darling.
429
00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:47,479
We can work it out together.
430
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,360
That's part of being with someone.
431
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:52,040
I want to be with you.
432
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,679
Me too. Really?
433
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,520
Really.
434
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,039
And what if I were to
call you Tommy?
435
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,400
Then it would definitely be over.
DANNY LAUGHS
436
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,199
Fun fact.
437
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,399
Reindeers have four stomachs.
438
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:16,959
They use them for storage,
439
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,839
so they bring undigested
food back up
440
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,199
to be chewed again when needed.
441
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,799
Like leftovers.
442
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,199
Anyone for seconds?
443
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,999
Oh, no, thank you.
444
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,679
That goose was nice, though.
445
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,559
Why did Santa
have to go to hospital?
446
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,999
Because of his poor 'elf.
That has been in every year.
447
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,079
Why did the pink...? More wine?
Absolutely, yes.
448
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,719
Surprise!
LOUISE SHRIEKS
449
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:40,879
Come here, you!
450
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,479
Oh, Happy Christmas! Oh!
451
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,080
Ah!
452
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:50,039
# Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock
453
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,479
# Jingle bells swing
and jingle bells ring
454
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,519
# Snowin' and blowin' up
bushels of fun
455
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,359
# Now the jingle hop has begun
456
00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:03,319
# Jingle bell... #
Two words.
457
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,679
Er... It's a film. Film, yeah?
458
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,399
# Jingle bells chime
in jingle bell time
459
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:13,239
# Dancin' and prancin'
in Jingle Bell Square
460
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,479
# In the frosty air
461
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,959
# What a bright time... #
Reindeer?
462
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,999
LAUGHTER
# It's the right time
463
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,039
# To rock the night away
464
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,639
# Jingle bell time
is a swell time... #
465
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,879
THEY LAUGH
Happy Christmas.
466
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,079
# ..in a one-horse sleigh
467
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,919
# Giddy-up, jingle horse
Pick up your feet... #
468
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,440
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, darling.
469
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,360
Ralph, Katie?
What are you doing for New Year's?
470
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,319
# That's the jingle bell rock
471
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,999
# Jing, jing, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock
472
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,159
# Jingle bells chime
in jingle bell time
473
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,999
# Dancin' and prancin'
in Jingle Bell Square
474
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,119
# In the frosty air
475
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,439
# What a bright time
476
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,359
# It's the right time
477
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:11,159
# We're gonna rock your night away
478
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:15,719
# Jingle bell time is a swell time
479
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:19,239
# To go glidin' in
a one-horse sleigh
480
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,599
# Yeah, giddy-up, Jingle Horse
481
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,679
# Pick up those feet
482
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,279
# Jingle around the clock
483
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,399
# Mix and mingle
and a jinglin' beat
484
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,439
# That's the jingle bell
485
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,559
# That's the jingle bell
486
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:41,080
# That's the jingle bell rock. #
35356
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