Original subtitles

Do you believe her hair?

She says she's entering the contest.

Hell, she says that every year and never has the nerve.

Hey, you! Mason head. Lunch break's 45 minutes.

Hey, I got my eye on you!

Lookin' good, Miss Hot Tamale.

- Ah! - Excuse me.

- Entrez-vous! - Hi, Miss Blue. Mr. Drapper.

Well, look! Carnelle! What a coincidence.

Benjamin was just sittin' here rhapsodizing

about your cousin Elain.

We were delighted she's accepted our invitation

to appear at this year's contest.

She's gonna be delivering a speech,

entitled "My Life as a Beauty".

Yes, I know. Isn't it grand?

But I'd...

Well, I'd like to register as a contestant...

for the... contest.

- You would? - Yes, sir.

But, Carnelle,

this contest requires a great deal of preparation, you know.

It takes an enormous amount

of time and skill just to develop a talent act.

Oh!

Mr. Drapper, that won't be a problem.

I've been working on my talent routine for the last five years.

It's very polished.

I see.

I simply do not have the time.

Well, could you please recommend

someone to me that I can hire?

I really do require some expert assistance.

Well...

I suppose you could try that Popeye girl

I've just employed to help with alterations.

She lives down by the river.

Oh, my!

So, um, you think

you'll be able to make my patriotic suit

for the talent contest?

Oh! I 'spect so.

Well, then, the job is yours.

- Thank you! - You're welcome.

Now, um, I, I'm gonna be needing this outfit right away.

I hope you'll be able to work quickly.

Oh, sure. See, I've been making clothes practically all my life.

I started out when I was four years old.

I used to make outfits for the bullfrogs

that lived out 'round our yard.

Bullfrogs! Ugh!

They's funny-lookin' creatures, ain't they?

Hello, Nick!

I'd dress 'em up and sell 'em as pets.

They make nice pets.

Well, I certainly hope you don't think I'm ugly

looking like some dumb bullfrog of yours.

- Oh, no, I don't. - Well, of course, you don't.

I was just joking.

So long.

- So long! - Bye.

Yeah! Ah- ha!

Hey, Mac Sam.

Well, wonders never do quite cease.

Like now.

Mmmm! You look good. Your hair looks nice.

I like that color.

Uh, it doesn't seem too loud?

Not a bit, sugar. Not a bit.

I had change... I changed it for the contest.

I... I'm registered

to be a contestant for Miss Firecracker Contest.

Yeah! Hell, that's great! That's great!

Well, thank you, thank you.

I... I got the three postcards you sent me.

Uh- huh.

One from Milwaukee,

one from Jackson Hall, one from Canoga Park.

You must go all over.

Well, I do work the carnival.

So... you're doing okay?

- Oh, sure. - Yeah?

Well, I don't know, I kinda got fired today.

Oh, yeah? What job?

Catfish farm.

Well, hell... You won't miss it much.

No, I won't. I sure won't.

You still got that cough? Didn't you go see a doctor?

Last year you said you'd go see a doctor.

Relax, honey, relax. This life of mine's strictly on the house.

Strictly a free roll of the eternal dice.

Hey, listen.

I was almost strangled to death

by my mama's umbilical cord at birth.

It's the truth.

I spent... three days all purple and gasping for breath.

Now I'm tired out of gasping.

No, you're not. Don't say that. Don't say it.

Hell, no.

Well, I still like gasping at you, baby.

- You make me gasp real hard. - I do?

Well, you sure do.

You make me want to throw you around.

Come on, now. Come on. Let's go for a whirl, huh?

Let's go for a whirl!

- Hello? - Carnelle?

Oh! Oh, Elain!

Listen, honey.

I just wanted you to know

that I'll be there sooner than I thought.

Oh, oh, wonderful! Perfect!

I'm in heaven!

And... please... um, don't forget to bring your red dress.

Oh, carnation,

I don't really think that old thing's what you want.

Oh... Please, Elain. Um...

I have to have it. It's exactly perfect. I do!

And I'm gonna make certain to have plenty of Cokes

and cocoa and Red Hots for you, when you come.

No. No, it was, um, Delmount...

...who always preferred Red Hots. I prefer lemon drops.

Oh, yes, of course, I forgot.

Well... I'll get both

in hopes that Delmount will return home, too?

I wouldn't put much stock in that.

No one's heard a word from him since he was released.

Oh, I sure wish we knew where he was.

I'm concerned about him.

Well, I'm sure he's scraping by somehow.

Yeah, that's a pulverized one, all right.

That's a big size dog!

Come on, move your butt, Delmount.

Got a lot more highway to cover.

Let's go! Let's go!

Busy day, busy day... Another big carcass.

Move your butt, jughead!

Hey! Take that shovel an' scrape up that dog!

Hey, come back here and scrape up that goddamned dog!

No! I'm tired of hiding from my philosophical calling!

I have resources! I have direction!

Destiny is mine!

God, you're crap, kid. You got nothin'!

Zero, zip!

Aunt Ronelle would just love all this.

I often told her how I should move myself up...

Excuse me!

...how I just move myself up to Memphis and become a model.

You live here with your auntie?

Oh, no, she died. She had cancer.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, see, what she had was

this cancer of the pituitary gland,

I believe it was.

So what they did was, they replaced her gland

with the gland of a monkey to see if they could save her life.

And they did, in fact,

keep her alive for a month or so longer

than she was expected to live.

Well, that's good.

Of course, there were such dreadful side- effects.

Mmm.

She, well, she started growing long, black hairs

all over her body just, well... just like an ape.

Gracious Lord!

- Are you about done? - Mostly.

There!

Done.

Uh-uh!

And kick and kick and kick and...

Dead.

Both dead.

Funny, it seems like

people been dying practically all my life.

First, my mama passed, when I was barely a year.

Then after a time, my daddy couldn't stand me any longer,

so he dropped dead.

And then I got sent here, to live with my Aunt Ronelle,

Uncle George,

and their own two children, Elain and Delmount.

My cousin Delmount is wild!

Anyhow, we're happy up until the time

when my Uncle George is running out

to the tropical ice-cream truck

in the summer's heat, and suddenly he drops dead.

I had a brother was bit by a water moccasin

down the Pearl River, and he died.

Well, you know, they say we all gonna be dyin' someday.

I believe it, too.

Carnelle! Carnelle, honey!

Elain! It's Elain!

Elain!

Why, hello, my little carnation.

Oh, you really did dye your hair, didn't you?

Don't you like it?

Well, it's just as red as it can be.

Would you help me with these bags here?

- My arms are just falling off. - Oh.

Of course, of course.

Oh, Elain.

Did you bring the red dress?

I can't wait to try it on.

Oh... So, then, you actually did enter the contest?

- Yes, I did. - Ah.

It's the last year of my eligibility.

Next year I'll be over the age limit.

'Course... 'Course, I don't expect to win like you did.

That's crazy.

I mean, the main thing for me is gonna be

paradin' in that red dress you wore

when you were crowned.

Oh, Elain. Mm... You know, I forgot to tell you...

when I was...

You know what, Carnelle, it really is good to be home...

Elain, this is my friend, Popeye Jackson.

Popeye, this is my cousin Elain Rutledge.

So nice to meet you.

Popeye's going to be sewing my costume

for the talent section.

Um, Elain's lending me the beautiful red dress

for the opening parade.

Ah.

Oh, listen, Carnelle. I'm sorry.

I thought you weren't gonna be needing a formal dress,

for the preliminary audition.

Oh. Yeah. Yes, that's true.

We'll just need them for the actual contest.

Oh!

Well, then, I thought we'd just wait until after the audition,

see if you make it to the contest,

and then we'd send for the dress.

Excuse me.

Enter, please.

Hi.

I brought you up some hot cocoa and lemon drops.

Your favorite.

How dear!

Oh, Carnelle, go look over there on that dresser.

I have a little remembrance I brought for you.

What?

Really?

You shouldn't have.

I just thought of you when I saw it.

How elegant!

Aren't I elegant?

Oh, Elain, you're such a dear. You're just perfectly perfect.

Now, I know you're a little worried

about me being in the contest.

I'm not worried.

Well, you could be thinking that I've ruined my chances,

'cause... 'cause of my reputation.

Oh, I don't know what you mean.

You're perfectly sweet.

It's just that everything's different now.

I go to church now.

And I'm signed up to where I take

an orphan home to dinner once a week,

or to a movie.

People aren't calling me Miss Hot Tamale anymore.

Everything's changed.

Listen, Carnelle...

I have some important information to impart.

- I'm not just here on a visit. - You're not?

No.

I've left Franklin.

What?

I can't believe it!

This is a sworn secret.

Not a single solitary soul is to find it out.

I won't breathe a word to anyone, I swear.

You see, I haven't told Franklin yet and...

He still actually believes things are bearable between us.

Gosh!

Aunt Ronelle said you had it all up there in Atlanta.

Everything. Just like a queen in a castle.

I know. I did.

I only hope I can stand to give it all up.

We have such beautiful clocks.

Lemon drops first.

Excuse me, just a moment.

What a pleasure to see you!

So nice to see you, Benjamin.

Um, I must... I don't know how...

Oh, my tongue is tied!

That happens to me, sometimes.

Let me introduce you to Reverend Mann and his wife.

Leticia, Preacher Mann, This is Elain Rutledge.

I'm just so very happy to make your acquaintance.

I'm so happy to meet you, Reverend.

And this is my assistant, Tommy Turner...

He's going to be helping us at the pageant.

It's an honor.

Bless your heart.

Oh, y'all know my cousin Carnelle.

Oh, sure. We all know Carnelle.

Elain, if you just come with me, we've got a lovely pew

waiting for you in here...

Carnelle!

Woo-hoo! Carnelle! It's me!

- Hi. Is Carnelle home? - No, she's not.

- I'm Popeye Jackson. - Yeah?

This not my original name. I wasn't born with it.

Actually, see, what happened was,

my brother, Lucky, he threw a handful of gravel in my eyes,

and it was stinging,

and then he give me this little brown bottle of drops

to put inside my eyes,

telling me it was drops for the eyes,

but, in fact, it was drops for the ears...

causing this burning sensation

that made me scream out and cry like the devil.

And I got me some glasses,

and my eyes bulged out a little bit.

Folks were just calling me Popeye.

And the name kinda stuck with me. Popeye.

That's how I got the name.

It's a very tragic tale.

Oh, no.

Actually, the fortunate part of it is,

I can now hear voices through my eyes.

Through your eyes?

Every now and then, I hear 'em laughing and carrying on.

I'm very busy here, so please excuse me.

Oh... Okay.

What I'll do is I'll call Franklin

and have him send the red dress.

That way, I'll have it, in case it needs alterations.

Why, Elain Rutledge!

What are you doin' back in town?

Why, Clara Archer!

What a surprise. I'll go talk to her.

Come over here and kiss my new baby.

This is Willy. This is Elain.

Mwah!

- How many does that make? - Seven.

It is so good to see you!

Delmount!

Oh, child.

Look at you! What, are you trying to look like

a bareback ride at the Schuler Traveling Carnival Show?

- You don't like it? - Hardly, honey! Hardly!

Carnelle!

Clara Archer wants an autograph, so I guess I better...

Bitch!

Delmount?

What's the matter with you? Are you still insane?

I'm not speaking to you. I'm not...

- What is going on? What is it? - Don't ask me.

Oh, no, no, no. Don't ask her.

She would never tell.

The beautiful, the sweet, the perfect Elain Rutledge

refused to help her own brother

get out of a dirty lunatic asylum!

Delmount, wait!

It was cheerful, it was the most expensive money could buy.

Oh, what's wrong? Tell me, please.

It's all quite simple, child of mine.

They would have released me after two months' time,

into Mrs. Rutledge's loving custody

as she is my next of kin.

But she wouldn't have me.

She wouldn't sign the papers.

Please, Delmount, we thought you needed professional help.

And Franklin thought...

Franklin! That troglodyte with his Antediluvian brain!

I'd like to paste that doughball!

Honestly, Delmount!

If it wasn't for Franklin,

you'd be rotting away in a jail cell

instead of that cheerful hospital.

You did commit a violent act.

You hit the poor man in the face with a bottle.

I challenged that man to a duel.

I can't help it if the weapons he chose was broken bottles.

See? See? That is not reasonable behavior!

It is not! Just listen to you...

It's no wonder you've had bad dreams.

It's no wonder.

Rub my face in it, why don't you? Go ahead.

Just rub my face right in it.

Damn you, Delmount.

You always bring out the worst in me.

You always have!

Have you got a dime?

Here.

Blow on it. Blow on it!

♪ When we kiss, my heart's on fire ♪

Delmount!

♪ Burning with a strange desire ♪

Hi, Delmount.

When did you get back?

Recently.

Well, Tessy sure has missed you a whole lot.

I have not!

You never shut up talking about how cute his hair is.

She just loves how it sticks up.

She's a liar! Liar!

So... we heard you were waiting tables over in Tallahassee.

Was it terribly exciting?

Oh, yes, tell us all about it. Everything!

Please, don't make me treat you like dogs.

I don't wanna treat you like common dogs.

Why'd you bring us over here?

I've never been so...

I feel sorry for ugly girls. I really do.

Yeah?

Listen, little child of mine...

About the house you're living in...

Yep?

Well, Mr. J.R. Biggs has wanted the place

since the death of my mama, the monkey.

See, his grandfather built the atrocity,

and he wants it back in the family.

But you wouldn't sell that house.

You swore it on my heart.

I need the money.

But me... I live there! I live in that house!

Where would I go? What would I do?

- I've never been on my own... - Shh.

- I got no job. - Shut up.

- They fired me. - Shut up...

before I break your neck!

I'm gonna give you half of whatever I make.

That way, you can go wherever you want to go.

Get out of this town for good.

I don't want... I never thought about leaving Yazoo City.

Well, think about it.

Never been anything here for you but misery and sorrow.

Yes, that's true, but still, I don't know.

Maybe if I could... I don't know.

If I could just win first prize,

then I could leave this town in a blaze of glory.

Yeah.

Shh... Wake up, you're havin' a bad dream.

Oh, Dely! Come on, it's only a dream.

It's okay. It's okay, Dely, it's just a dream.

Oh, God...

Shh...

It was just a dream. It's only a dream, Dely...

Poor Dely... Shh...

But it doesn't matter if I win or lose.

I still have God.

Caroline Jefferson sure is pretty.

Yeah, except for them yellow teeth!

Stop!

Hi.

Delmount, his hair is wild.

Wild.

- Don't you think it's wild? - What?

And his eyes, they're like a blue lightning bolt!

Gather round! Girls!

Miss Blue.

Good luck, honey. Come on.

Remember, contestants...

Projection, poise, moral values,

and beauty... are equally as important as talents.

I see a lot of pretty girls here today.

A lot of hopeful faces.

But remember, five of you, and only five of you,

will make it to the final pageant.

And only one of those five will be crowned "Miss Firecracker".

Now, whoever wins that very coveted crown,

must somehow stand out above all the rest.

She must have that... special "Firecracker" spark

the judges will be looking for.

Then, and only then, will victory be hers.

Oh, Delmount, did Miss Blue call about the contest?

Carnelle, I told you 20 times in the car,

they will not be calling until later this evening.

Their calculator's broke,

they're adding it all up in their heads.

I know, but I'm just so fired up!

Oh, Delmount, I did good.

I'm gonna call Franklin again

and see if he found Elain's red dress...

Carnelle!

Franklin told you he would call you

when he found the dress.

There is no need to disturb him.

Okay!

But I can see I'm gonna be needing it

for the opening parade of Firecrackers.

I can see I'm gonna be needing it.

She really do well?

I don't know!

I went out to get some air, and I missed her act.

That girl has been torturing my nerves

with all that hyper- energy!

Could you please get her out of here

so I could get some peace?

Wow! Man, oh, man, oh, man, the Biggs are rich!

I sure hope she gives us a lot of money for our house.

We need that money.

Uh, listen, um...

I'll handle the rest of this transaction.

You wait here.

Well... all right.

I just hope him bein' dead's not gonna screw things up.

Not in the least, I assure you.

Uh, excuse me, I'm here to see Mrs. J.R. Biggs.

Excuse me, I'm here to speak with Mrs. J.R. Biggs.

It's a matter of some importance.

- I'm Mrs. Biggs. - Ah!

What is this intrusion?

Mrs. Biggs, I am Delmount Williams.

We spoke on the phone regarding the house

on West Chippewa,

that your husband's grandfather erected.

Oh, yes, of course!

Oh, ladies, please welcome Mr. Williams.

He has graciously offered to donate

his quaint little house to our chapter

of the Women's Historical Society.

Excuse me, did you say, "donate"?

Wow!

Carnelle Scott!

Ronnie Wayne, hi.

What a coinkydink!

What the hell are you doin' here?

Oh, me and my cousin are conducting some business affairs

with Mrs. J.R. Biggs.

It's concerning our property.

Yeah?

Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

So, uh... you look different.

It's my hair. Duh. I colored it red.

Yeah... yeah. I see.

Get him out of here! Out! Out!

Carnelle!

Carnelle, let's get outta here! These people are crazy!

Did you actually believe I would buy that rat-ridden shack

- you call a house? - Shut up.

Why, my husband's as crazy as you were

for even suggesting such a... a twisted preposition!

Inside! Back! Out!

I'll get it, I'll get it! I know it's for me!

Hello? Oh, Franklin...

Did you... did you find the red dress?

Oh, no, how awful!

Well, have you searched for it everywhere?

But every, everywhere?

- Psst! Carnelle... - Oh.

Tell Franklin I thank him for the roses.

He's really outdone himself this time.

Oh... okay.

Franklin, Elain thanks you for all the roses.

Okay, I will, bye-bye.

So... did anybody call?

Not a soul, I'm afraid.

Okay.

Franklin told me to tell you that he adores you

and begs you to come home.

Swine! Puss-head! Him and his worm-like torso!

Oh, really, Delmount, you're insufferable.

Oh, my God... you look beautiful.

Just like a corpse.

Why don't you crawl back to your coffin?

- You vile toad! - I knew it!

I knew it! You're not leaving him!

You didn't mean it!

I meant it! I said it!

You know, all you want is

for everyone to think you're perfect!

Perfectly dull!

Well, at least, I'm not being destructive.

What did you do over at Mrs. J.R. Biggs?

Her attorney's been calling to try and have you arrested!

I didn't do a thing to that emaciated crow!

Let her caw all she wants.

Ha!

Mama always loved you ten times better than me.

Oh, God! Here we go!

Well, everybody always thought she was.

Till the day she died, people were saying she...

Hello?

Oh... Yes, he is.

Would you like to talk to him?

- Just a minute... - You shut up!

- You shut up! - You shut up!

Delmount, it's for you.

Yeah, this is Delmount Williams.

I beg your pardon?

Don't you threaten me!

I'll pulverize your entire bein'!

I'll throw your eyeballs to the hounds,

you stupid warthog!

That was them, wasn't it?

Mrs. J.R. Biggs' attorney. Imagine, castigating me!

Goddamn, those imbeciles!

I'm selling this wretched house if I have to give it away!

That's right, just give it away!

After all, Mama left it to you and only you.

- She left nothin' to me. - Aw!

I don't understand it,

I tried so hard to please Mama...

You tried too hard!

Oh, I despise you, you irresponsible dolt!

- Hello? - It's the doorbell!

- Oh. It's the orphan! - What orphan?

Oh, Carnelle feeds orphans.

Well, here it is.

Look, I gotta run, fix up that tuna noodle casserole...

Damn...

What time were they supposed to have called by?

Six o'clock. It's after seven now.

- Good meal. - Excellent!

Marvelous.

Well, I guess I better go and start up the dishes, then.

Tuna noodle really sticks to your plates.

Hello?

Oh, Ronnie... just fine.

No, I wouldn't...

'Cause I don't go driving around like that anymore.

I'm a respectable person.

Don't you call me that.

Don't say that! I would not!

Why... Why, I'd rather... I'd rather eat poison

than even spit on a low-life scum such as you.

I hate all your guts, and don't forget it!

Good-bye!

Wasn't Carnelle's casserole just delicious?

Mmm.

Listen, I guess it doesn't matter about not finding...

...not finding that red dress.

You should consider yourself lucky.

That type of false pageantry is way beneath you.

Yes, it is...

Since it's been integrated,

the quality of the contest has really gone down, down, down.

Why it's nothing but a garish display

of painted-up prancing pigs. That's all there is to it.

Well...

the main thing is it was gonna be,

I don't know, visible proof...

And I would have liked to ride on a float

and wave out to people.

Carnelle!

All this is just gonna help build up your character!

Remember, the more Mama suffered,

the more divine she became!

Good Lord in heavenly butter!

Oh, God,

remember how Uncle Willie dropped Carnelle off here

with nothing but a pillowcase full of dirty rags?

I've never seen anything quite so pathetic.

Ringworms in her head.

And remember that little yellow cap

she wore pulled down over her head

even in the summer's heat?

Mama told the people that she just had short, yellow hair.

Oh, Mama was such a brilliant woman.

Well, from a distance, it did kinda look like that.

I do doubt it.

Oh.

Anyway, she never did attain any self- esteem.

Had to sleep with every worthless soul in Yazoo City

just to prove she was attractive.

- Shut up. - Oh, come on, swing.

I hate my hair! I hate it!

They didn't even want me.

I'm a failure! I'm ugly!

My thighs are fat!

No one loves me!

Oh, oh, oh!

I'll get it!

- I'll get it! - One moment, please...

I'll get it!

Hello? Uh, yes, this is she.

What?

Oh, so sorry.

Oh, no, how sad, how tragic!

What? Oh, yes, all right. Thank you. Bye-bye.

That was... that was Miss Blue, and well...

Do you remember her dog, Spider?

- Uh... the brown and white one? - Yes, yes.

Well, Spider was hit by a van and he died.

So Miss Blue was late

in notifying the five finalists, but...

Oh... my God!

Oh, my God!

- What?

I made the pageant!

Oh, by God! I made the pageant.

I did, I did. I made it!

Line up!

The photo session's about to begin.

Stand tall, everyone.

Let's see that Firecracker sparkle.

Remain still, please.

Everyone, keep your necks long and proud.

Now look beautiful.

Stand up straight, Missy.

Remember, when it counts, suck and tuck!

We're so glad we could come to terms, Delmount.

You know, Susan set our last house on fire.

I forgot to turn the butter beans off.

Well, the house I've sold you is completely fireproof.

Every inch of it has been drenched with fire repellent.

It's a virtual atom bomb shelter.

Let's see, I know I'll beat Sally Chin,

just 'cause she's token Negro- Chinese...

Ah!

I'm not trying to be mean about it,

but it's the truth!

I am sweltering in all this heat.

Where in the world is Delmount?

Delmount!

I have to go. I have to get back to Miss Lily's dress shop.

Oh, well, we'll just drop you off.

No... I can't get in that ride.

Because...

Well, see, Delmount...

Delmount makes my heart hot.

Look at it now, it's just burning!

I have to go! I'll see you later!

Breaks my heart to give this place up.

By the way, any article you see is for sale

at the Firecracker contest tomorrow.

I'll give you 10 percent off because you're a nice couple...

and, uh...

Like I say,

there's hardwood floors...

Keys, keys, keys, keys!

Would you excuse me for a minute?

What the hell are you doing?

Remember the red Antebellum dress

she wore to the Natchez pilgrimage?

You are not going into that monkey's room!

You are not going to clothe yourself

in any garment that has clung to her

- grotesquely hairy loins! - Oh!

You are not going into that monkey's room!

For Heaven's sakes, she wasn't a real monkey.

She was just excessively furry for a human bein'.

Carnelle!

Carnelle!

No...

No, no, this just might work.

- I need a red dress! - No!

This won't do. This will not do.

- Popeye. - Hi.

Hi. I need a dress for the contest tomorrow.

A crimson dress!

- For Carnelle? - "For Car... "?

Obviously for Carnelle, obviously.

Oh! Here, let me help you.

I'll show you around.

We have some lovely things over here.

Well, now, actually,

this one is a burgundy beet, rather than a true red...

We call it "eggplant."

No, that's pink.

No, no, no, no.

Oh! Mmm, no.

That one is a rose salmon. And anyway, it don't move.

An evenin' gown has to flow. It's gotta breathe, Delmount.

Oh...

Well, does this breathe?

Do you think it's breathing?

I don't think it's breathin'.

Besides, it's fuchsia... hot pink.

- This breathes... - Yes.

- And it's red. - Yes.

And it moves!

Yes, but it's not a dress, it's a fabric bolt, Delmount!

Of course...

Of course it's a fabric bolt!

- This one won't do. - Won't do... won't do.

Delmount, there's a bunch over here

- that won't do... - Aha!

Oh, Popeye... Popeye...

It's all hopeless.

My word.

What's goin' on in here?

It's Delmount!

What's he doin' here?

My God, it's those horrible two!

Delmount!

Oh, what has happened?

Popeye's gonna get in trouble.

I bet Miss Lilly's gonna fire her!

Well, it's red all right, it's red.

Oh... I'm gonna need Popeye to do some sewing on this.

- Hey! Hey! - Hey. Can I help ya?

I'd like to look at the moon.

Sorry, kid we ain't open for customers.

I wouldn't be a customer.

Um... okay.

Nothin's hopeless.

One of my most memorable experiences

was being crowned your Miss Firecracker,

an Ambassadress of Beauty.

It was a thrilling episode in our history,

as the coveted crown was placed upon my head...

♪ Are you from Dixie? ♪

♪ I said from Dixie ♪

♪ Where the fields of cotton beckon to me ♪

♪ I'm glad to see you ♪

♪ Tell me how be you ♪

We gotta, we gotta, we gotta, come on, come on...

Yeah! I got a winner! Gotta winner. Right here!

I want that bunny thing. That bunny thing, up there.

Gracious Lord, if I have another drop of lemonade,

I'll probably turn right into a lemon!

Hey, Tamale, what's that falling off your head?

Oh, look. Now my hairpiece is falling off.

I worked all morning on that.

So, um, is your sister nervous?

Not really. I guess she knows she doesn't have a chance.

Oh, what makes you say that?

'Cause she's humped- shouldered from practicing that

Johann Sebastian Bach opus on the piano all day long.

What a shame.

Of course...

Of course, Caroline Jefferson is really a lovely girl.

Yeah. Yeah, except for those yellow teeth.

Well, I hear that she took medicine for seizures

that she had as a child,

and it scraped off most of her tooth enamel.

Yeah, but I don't think the judges are interested

in sentimentality.

- Uh-huh. - Just the teeth themselves.

Come on! We don't have much time!

Ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention

for a minute, please.

Lizard Man.

I dare you to see this reptilian creature

that time has forgot.

You hold the Mardi Gras mask up over your face,

and you keep the side of the dress covered

where... under your arm, where the extra material is.

With your arm and your elbow...

And... scoop.

And scoop.

And scoop.

Oh.

Okay.

And scoop...

And scoop.

Flip out your wrist. Make it crisp.

And scoop.

Oh, you are getting it!

It's been more than an honor, and so much of a privilege...

Mahoney girl!

to have served as your Miss Firecracker.

I wish many blessings on all of you...

Have you seen Miss Rutledge?

Yes, she's fine.

Where is she?

Oh. She's in Carnelle's dressing room.

Thank you.

- Popeye? - Oh, hello.

Hi... Carnelle, she, uh, needed...

she was searching for you earlier.

She was?

Yeah, she needed your help to help sew on this

torn up red dress she found for the contest.

She's been looking for you since last night.

Ah! Well, last night I was up at the old observatory.

That man pointed up right at the moon

so I could take me a look at it.

Yeah?

- Mm-hmm. - How did it look?

Big... Orange...

It was kinda shiny and sparkly.

- Sounds nice. - What?

Sounds nice.

It was!

You better... go.

Okay, I can work on her dress.

The dress... Look, Popeye, I heard you lost your job.

Now, actually, I was fired from it.

I know, I'm very, very sorry.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado,

The Lady of the Magnolia, Miss Elain Rutledge.

Thank y'all.

Thanks... too much.

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

It will never, ever pass into nothingness."

Ah, how aptly put by Mr. John Keats back in 1818.

One of my most memorable experiences

was being crowned your Miss Firecracker,

an ambassadress of beauty to represent our fair city.

It was a thrilling episode in our history,

as the coveted crown was placed upon my head,

and I proudly led the parade as your queen.

Thank you!

Oh, please!

As you know...

It's all dreadful.

Did you see Carnelle dressed up in that big red thing?

Yeah! She's a knockout, ain't she?

In conclusion, wherever I have roamed,

New Orleans, Atlanta,

Baton Rouge, Jackson,

or Yazoo City...

...I have deeply enjoyed my life as a beauty.

Hey!

And now I'd like to present the wonderful man

who presented me, Mr. Benjamin Drapper!

Hit it, boys!

Now, here they are, the parade of Firecrackers!

How she can put herself through this,

I'll never understand.

Yeah, women are funny about their looks.

My grandpapa used to say to me,

"Sam, all you have to do is tell a woman you love her

and she goes just like that."

- How pithy. - Yeah.

♪ Hey, hey, good- lookin' ♪

♪ What you got cookin'?♪

♪ How's about cookin' something up with me? ♪

Hey, Hot Tam! Nice dress!

Oh, yeah! Let's wiggle that little light thing!

Whoo!

♪ We can find a brand new... ♪

Fortunately, I have yet to make advances

to any woman who did not possess

at least one classically beautiful characteristic.

It's sort of a romantic notion I have.

Well...

What I like is a woman who can take it

right slap on the chin.

Put your hands together,

we want to hear it for these girls.

Oh, yeah. That's better. That's it.

Let's hear it. Come on now.

All right!

♪ I got a hot rod Ford and a two dollar bill ♪

♪ And I know a spot right over the hill ♪

♪ There's soda pop and the dance is free ♪

♪ So if you wanna have fun come along with me ♪

- Give that dog a bone! - Hey, boys, - stop that!

Oh! Oh, no!

Uh-oh!

Oh!

That's all right, folks.

- Oh, God! - Oh!

Carnelle!

Okay, I'm okay. We're okay...

Oh, my! Oh, my!

Honey, I'll clean you up.

- It's a disgrace! - Delmount, it's a humiliation!

What?

That horrible Ronnie Wayne is actually throwing peanuts,

trash, and ice right there on the stage

in front of everyone.

At her? He's throwing them at her?

Well, a peanut hit her right between the eyes!

He dies.

Ronnie Wayne!

Ronnie Wayne!

Damn.

You want more, Ronnie Wayne?

Man, you're a looney tune!

They should lock you up and throw away the...

You want more?

You want more, Ronnie Wayne?

It's all ruined! I'm destroyed!

No, you're not.

Oh, Carnelle,

I don't think people really noticed

when you tripped.

My teeth are Grey! They look like mule's teeth!

I should not have been born!

Woo-hoo! I showed 'em all!

Cold-blooded swine!

Delmount, my patience is running thin

with this unruly behavior.

I'll go and get you some ice to put on your swelled- up leg.

I hate this! I hate this! I'm about to cry!

Don't worry, child o' mine, nobody's hurt.

We enjoyed it!

You're making me sick here!

Sick!

"With God as my witness...

With God as my witness, they're not going to lick me!

If I have to lie, cheat, steal... kill.

With God as my witness,

I'm going to live through this!

And when it's all over,

I'll never be hungry again."

Enter the infernal jaws of hell.

Oh! He gonna burn up his throat!

Ta-dah!

How'd you like that, beautiful?

That was wonderful. Do you know some more?

I know one. I can do one.

- I can wiggle my ears! - Ooh, let me see it.

All right.

Uh, I don't see 'em wiggling.

Nope. They ain't wiggling.

Hmm-mm.

Sure ain't.

Well, I gotta fly. So long, Popeye.

Take it easy, Dumbo.

Well, I have to go and help Carnelle.

It's almost time for her routine.

Woah, that was Caroline Jefferson.

Wasn't she a magnificent Scarlett O'Hara?

Thank you, Caroline.

- Now, our next contestant... - Thank you.

..will be Miss Sally Chin and her electrifying hula- hoops!

Come on, Sally!

Carnelle, you're on next!

I'm on next. I'm on next. I'm on next!

Carnelle...

Oh, Popeye, I should have done a dramatic interpretation piece.

I like your act!

The boys got your bang-boom, your shiny jacket,

I got my outfit.

You got your sparkle, girl, come on!

- Whoa! - Whoo!

Hey.

Carnelle's on next.

Yeah, I don't think I can watch it.

I mean, she actually thinks she's tap dancing...

She's just clomping her feet around...

Poor Carnelle.

She wants to be beautiful

without understanding the limitations it brings.

Well, it'll all be over soon.

Carnelle will go on up to Memphis...

I'll start my life in New Orleans,

And you'll go wherever the winds take you.

- Delmount, I... - Hey, don't worry explaining...

You're free!

Finally going to find out why you're alive!

Yes! Oh...

Our final contestant, in the talent section

of our contest, will be Miss Carnelle Scott!

Miss Scott will be performing a marching tap-dance routine

to the Star Spangled Banner!

- Do I look okay? - Just great!

Let's go.

Whoo!

Miss Elain Rutledge?

Hey, come here.

I'll take care of this.

Get out of here.

God Bless America!

Conclusion, what a finish!

Oh, God Bless America. God Bless America.

Didn't I tell you?

Unbelievable!

Stupendous!

Elain, did it really go well, did it, really?

Wait, now, you ain't got much time,

you gotta change into your bathing suit.

Oh, yes. Thank you, Elain, thank you.

Hey, good luck, we'll be out there cheering you on!

Oh!

Carnelle, what a hit!

You were just like a firecracker.

Carnelle, you were so gorgeous, it was insane! Whoo-hoo!

Oh, man, she was so beautiful. She was so fine.

"Thrilled you'll be driving home to me this evening."

"Your adoring husband, Franklin."

You'd think that after you left me in that lunatic asylum,

I would know not to trust you.

Ah!

Delmount, you don't understand.

I'm used to better things now.

My face creams. My clocks.

And he adores me.

Miss... Miss Blue will be accompanying me

with a little singing number

while our beautiful beauty contestants promenade

in their swimsuits! Hit it, boys!

♪ She was afraid to come out of the locker ♪

♪ She was afraid that somebody would see ♪

♪ She was afraid to come out of the locker ♪

I think she's going to make a perfect Miss Firecracker

with her red hair alone!

♪ ...nervous as she could be... ♪

♪ Two, three, four ♪

♪ Tell the people what you want ♪

♪ It was an itsy-bitsy teeny-weenie ♪

♪ yellow polka-dot bikini ♪

♪ That she wore for the first time today ♪

♪ An itsy-witsy teeny-weenie ♪

You're beautiful, baby!

♪ Yellow polka-dot bikini ♪

♪ So in the locker she wanted to stay ♪

♪ Two, three, four ♪

♪ Stick around We'll tell you more ♪

Man parading his ridiculous pomposity

down his pathetic little streets,

cheering at his own inane self- grandeur.

♪ Guess there isn't anymore Cha-cha-cha ♪

Oh, thank you, Betsy!

Oh, all right.

Okay.

All right, it's now time for the final crowning.

We have the winner, right here, in this envelope.

So sayeth our judges.

All right! Here we go!

Everybody ready? You girls ready?

I don't think they're ready, do you?

Yeah, they're ready. I think so.

Our fourth runner up is...

God, I hope she comes in first.

I swear, I hope she beats 'em all.

Come on.

Put your hands together...

Come on, baby.

Put your hands together, everybody...

Come on, let's hear it! That's right, come on, come on!

Our first runner-up is...

Miss Joe Anne Jacobs!

Our new Miss Firecracker is Caroline Jefferson!

Congratulations, Caroline!

♪ She's Miss Firecracker ♪

♪ Oh, let me tell you why ♪

♪ She's Miss Firecracker ♪

♪ Reigning queen of July ♪

♪ Well, she's young, she can't lose ♪

♪ She chases away the blues ♪

♪ She's Miss Firecracker ♪

♪ She really lights my fuse ♪

♪ I said, she's young, she can't lose ♪

♪ She chases away the blues ♪

♪ She's Miss Firecracker ♪

♪ She really lights my fuse ♪

I don't even know what you're worried about.

It was a stupid, meaningless contest.

If there was an ounce of justice in this world,

you wouldn't have come in fifth place,

you'd be up on that float in third place.

Well... anyway...

It's the quality that matters.

I... I... don't want to hear it.

I wanted to win that contest. I cared about it.

It was important to me.

Carnelle, you...

Carnelle, you don't have to follow that float.

Hey!

You come in last, you follow the float.

I took a chance, I came in last...

So, by God, I'm going to follow that float!

Hey, Red.

Mac Sam, dammit. I don't want to be with anybody.

Well, I'm with you. Come on, beautiful.

I'm lonely, too.

Delmount...

I wanted to say good- bye before I departed this evening.

I don't understand you.

I look at you, and I see you have this...

need to be excited by life. And...

So why do you always go running back

to what Mama wanted you to do?

You know she was mean.

Yes, I know she was mean.

Just like you know your dreams are bad and horrible.

Still, you can't change them. You can't stop having them.

Yeah. I can.

Last night, I stopped having them.

Really, darling?

Yeah.

I, uh, I dreamed I was on a lake,

and, uh, it was, uh, snowing.

The stars turned all different colors.

You did. You dreamed that.

Yeah.

It was nice.

Well, good. That's good, then.

You're incredible, Miss Elain.

Yeah, well, you always forgive me.

Be seeing ya!

You know, I went looking for you

right after the parade.

Where'd you get off to?

Nowhere. Just out walking by the railroad tracks.

What was you doing down there?

Kicking rocks, thinking.

I thought maybe I was a victim of broken dreams... but then...

I thought maybe I wasn't.

I was trying so hard to belong all my life, and...

I don't know.

I just don't know what you can reasonably hope for in life.

Not too damn much.

But something.

Yeah, sure.

There's always eternal grace.

It'd be nice.

Yeah.

Popeye.

- Hi! - Hi.

Ah...

Here, hold this.

So I hear you're going to be leaving Yazoo City.

I reckon so.

It's funny, 'cause I'll be leaving here, too.

Where was you planning to go?

Well, I thought I'd be going to New Orleans,

and go to the university there, and learn to be a philosopher.

That way, after I have some time to study

and think it all through,

I'll be able to let everyone know why we're living.

It would be a great relief, I believe.

Where are you going to go?

Well, I don't know the particulars,

but I heard tell of this place named Elysian Fields.

- Elysian Fields. - Right.

They got this ambrosia...

all you can eat... and wine and honey to drink,

and all kinda people just carryin' on.

Do you know what state it's located in?

- It isn't in a state. - It ain't?

No, it isn't even in the world.

It's fictional. It's a made-up place.

It's only in books and stories.

Oh, well... Jeez.

I guess I won't be going there!

Popeye, would you like...?

Ah... you probably weren't planning... uh...

I... oh, never mind. Bye.

Popeye, would you like

to go watch the fireworks with me tonight?

- Yes! - Good, good, then!

- Great, sure! - Let's go.

God, you're beautiful.

I wouldn't trade them times we had, not for nothing.

Really?

Not for a golden monkey.

Are you all right?

Hell, no. I've got T.B.,

alcoholic's disease, rotten gut.

I'm having fun taking bets on which part of me

is going to cave in first.

The liver, the lungs, the stomach, or the brain.

Hey, listen.

You sure you don't want to go out pukin' with old Mac Sam?

Nah...

I just need some rest.

You'd be... tiring me out awful fast.

Good-bye, baby.

I'll always remember you as the one

that could take it on the chin.

Good-bye, Mac Sam.

Good night.

♪ And the rockets' red glare ♪

♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪

♪ Gave proof through the night ♪

♪ That our flag was still there ♪

Pow... pow... pow...

Carnelle!

Carnelle, honey, are you home?

We were worried about...

I... just knew it wouldn't do.

But, Elain, you carried it here.

Why couldn't I use it?

Because it's mine.

Yeah.

Then I guess this is mine.

But I'm not wearing it for the rest of my life.

Or this, either.

Here you go. Here's your dress.

Carnelle.

Carnelle!

Where are you going?

To find some grace.

Some eternal grace.

Wow!

It's snowing!

What did you say?

I said, it's snowing.

Feel like my teeth are going to fall out of my head.

Hey, you, up there! You all right?

Yes, I am. I'm fine!

Nice night, isn't it?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

As nice as they come.