Original subtitles

Dedicated to Paula, Anna-Maija and Maria

Friday the 13th West Berlin

- No witnesses. - No witnesses, no wedding.

Okay.

Then forget Snow White.

He ain't kidding.

Damn amateurs!

- Fine airship. - You sure it'll fly?

Floats as well as flies. Everything welded.

Hold on!

- Do you want my camera? - No, no, no. No camera. Come on!

Come on!

20 marks, specially for friends. Then you can photograph Mara.

Topless, in the South Sea or somewhere.

You can send the photo to all the newspapers,

and you'll get a pile of money for it.

She's not coming with me, Mara.

Why, she rather wants to be in a cramped whorehouse

than on the open seas with me.

No one pays a cent for a topless photo with me.

Alex, russki champagne!

Come on!

- Looks great. - I told you!

- It's a little slanted now. - Better swim slanted than not all the way.

Push, push!

It's out!

Champagne!

Russki shampanskoye.

- Come on! - Come on, come on yourself!

Oh, fuck it!

Oh, great!

- To your new home. - To my new home.

Okay, I've got it. Just a little more.

15 marks for the camera, including the film.

Waterproof, and look, big buttons. Specially for you.

Come off it, it's broken anyway.

Of course. Otherwise I wouldn't be selling it.

You have no kind of sense of decency.

What do you mean? You're always selling junk, too.

Not to my friends. You don't cheat your friends.

- Not even a little? - Not at all.

- No good, Lilli. - But Igor!

- You're acting like you are my father. - Thanks God I'm not!

And what would be so awful about being my papa?

First of all, have you ever heard about a black from Finland?

Trade for caviar. Two cups for me, rest for you.

- Don't forget vodka. - Right.

- See you. - See you.

- Yes, and me? - There wasn't enough for two.

- Hey, that was 20 marks. - I took care of my tab.

Tab at Autoimbiss?

All right.

Mm, great. But not a word to Stella.

Come on, open wide...

Or else I will give it to your brother. Eat it when he isn't looking.

Taste how good it is. Yummy!

No, no, no... Then Grandpa will have it.

All right, I will eat it all! Grandpa gets everything!

Horrible! They can't eat this muck. Make them some spaghetti!

- They're too small. - So make some small tortellini.

They're easier to spit out, too. Don't fret, let's forget this stuff.

You ate spaghetti as a little baby. It didn't do you any harm, did it?

Oh, no! When I was 16, I weighed 75 kilos.

You were beautiful, lovely and round.

A wee bit chubby, maybe, but these babies are so tiny.

They are bowling for spaghetti! They need to be more robust.

Not as long as I have to carry them around.

- What the hell is this? - Camomille tea. It's good for you.

I'm not ill! Are you trying to poison me?

Is your wretched husband planning on starving us all to death?

And getting rid of me with camomille tea!

There's plenty of good men around, why did you have to choose that Polack?

Dad, Alex isn't a Pole, he's a Finn.

Same difference - neither one of them drinks wine with their food. Barbarians!

What did we ever do to Finland? Mussolini never attacked there!

But Alex pays your wine bills at the pizzeria. You should be happy.

Only to impress his friends. At home he's trying to poison me!

Now tell me, daugther of mine: where is the wine hidden?

No, Papa. You're looking after the children.

- Can't you ever be on time? - Ciao!

- Ciao, Lilli. - And you bought her that junk again.

- Assassin! - We have to hurry.

If you want to kill me, give me cyanide. Why camomille tea?

Because the suffering will last longer.

Alex, what the fuck are you doing?

What are you teaching your sons? Do you want them to eat like pigs?

Sweet little imps! Tomorrow we'll go somewhere.

Ciao, Lilli!

Lilli, darling, Lilli... Where is the wine?

- It's a new color? - Uh huh. Kiss-proof!

It has to be. One never knows...

- How are you otherwise? - It's nice to see you again.

Hey, it's work.

Somebody recently told me about the fact that we were married and living together.

He even said that we have twins. Can you imagine?

- Who was that? I will kill him. - That's what he said about you.

- Must have been your father. - No, papa's like you.

Doesn't talk to me much.

- Guess again. - Are you really trying to make me jealous?

Perhaps.

- Come on, we'll be in contact all night. - Oh sure, by radio.

Voices in the air. This is no marriage, it's a seance!

- Ciao. - Ciao.

Ci vediamo!

Difficult.

For two weeks you've come here every single day.

You open the damn thing up and you say "difficult".

What's wrong? Aw, screw the damn thing back together!

Electricity is like soul. Sometimes like this, and sometimes like that.

This one has soul like Dostoyevsky. Difficult. Very difficult.

Doesn't screw together. Must understand.

- Otherwise, bang. Kaputt. - But what's lacking?

Love! Come back tomorrow!

Hey, Mara, Mara! Let's make twins, triplets, quadruplets!

Most men want me for one hour, you want me to breed a new race.

Russian proverb says it's better to be raising brats than raising hell.

Daughters your beauty, sons my strength.

Or vice versa. They'd be constantly falling into the sea.

Teach them to swim right when they jump out!

You want ducks, not children.

I'll lay you a couple of eggs, and you can incubate them on your steamer.

Penguins do so on the South Pole.

Yeah. Men brew the eggs on their feet all winter long,

until the woman come back from Acapulco and make dinner.

And what if they don't come back from Acapulco?

Men die of hunger.

But they stay standing with the eggs on their feet until the little ones come out.

Then fall over, dead.

- Oh... - Mara, good fathers.

Oh Igor, my penguin.

Merde!

Tegelweg, with luggage to train station.

Isn't someone there in the neighborhood?

Lazy bastards. No one wants to lug their suitcases.

Oh, scusi. I forgot to turn the mike off.

A police radar will be on Bismarck Street from 9 to 11,

Kitchener 11 to 1, and Kudam from 1 to 3. And then the cops go beddy-bye.

And Alex hopes that they will stay in bed forever!

Not everybody's like you, my sweet.

How about if you two cuddle doves meet in private instead of blocking the frequency?

Listen, buddy, my wife will coo as long as she wants to!

Don't worry, buddy.

Give her a couple of brats and she'll give you some peace.

You always win. That's no fun. Look at that mess.

- You make me poor, Alex. - No, you're not rich enough to make me...

...a real winner.

We are small potatoes, far away from home.

You're driving a big car. What's wrong?

You can always take your car, go back to Finland and raise reindeer.

No, not as a loser.

Are they still there? Russians?

You've gotta be kidding. Russians.

Alex, we call 'em Soviets now.

What is the best Russian radio station today?

Because when I was young, it was Radio Yerevan.

It was always playing some Russian love songs.

I didn't understand a word, but it was great.

Big feelings, you know.

It's best music to be in touch with a woman.

- You heard the sounds by radio? - Yes.

- In touch with woman? - Yeah.

- Making love? - Yes!

Khorosho! Soul, power!

No, I can't tonight. I'm looking after the kids.

Not a drop. They don't drink wine in this house, only camomille tea.

There is a bottle of grappa,

but I can't drink that, it was a wedding present to my daughter.

Imagine! A man at my age can't go out and have a glass of wine!

- Drink less, enjoy a longer life! - Who can enjoy a life like that?

My granddaughter Lilli talks Italian when she doesn't want me to drink.

No, Lilli can't baby-sit them. She's far too young.

- She is a baby. - You're just trying to get me to baby-sit.

Ciao, see you tomorrow.

Won't they ever go to sleep...

- 17,40, thank you. - Keep the change.

Ooh, thank you, ma'am.

Good evening, Domina.

- Mara! Have you seen Igor? - Igor, Igor...

Hey wait, I've got some caviar for him. If you see him...

Oh, get out of here! You're ruining my business with that jalopy.

My customers will think I'm so lame, my pimp has to drive a taxi.

Hey, what's the matter with you? Mad about something?

Yes, you men. You think only of making children!

- Is a whore supposed to have kids? - Yeah, but kids do have sense of humor.

And all you have to do is to get yourself a pimp who knows how to change diapers.

You know how to change diapers.

Why don't you become my pimp and forget about this taxi?

- Because Stella would kill me. - She'd have good reason.

30 per cent. I'll whore all night, you take care of the kids.

Today not even the pimps are safe from the feminists.

That's just it. I want a New Age sort of a pimp.

A pimp who's in touch with his feelings.

How about Igor?

Igor is even willing to incubate the eggs himself.

- On his feet. It's too much for me. - Yeah, but he loves you.

- And he doesn't see you as a whore. - A mistake. That is what I am.

He wants to make a better life for you.

A better whorehouse is good enough for me.

300.

Take your junk and sell it to the schoolchildren.

I never poison kids. 280.

250. If it's salt again, I will stick your nose in it.

Va fan culo... 250.

- I'm too fast for you, my friend. - Get the fuck out.

Do you have any light?

It's a perfect imitation. How much?

Ì don't speak German.

Frogs! Friends!

I spent a very long time in France when I was driving a very big truck.

I saw everything. Paris, Marseille, De Gaulle, la mer, les girls...

Shut your trap, you piece of Camembert.

Camembert! It's a very good cheese.

- Can't he shut up? - Pay no attention to him.

They want to hire you.

Come back at ten o'clock. All night long.

All right. See you later.

- Alex, where are you? - Potse.

I'm not surprised.

I had to carry up some suitcases for an old granny.

- How old? - Deaf, dumb and blind.

There aren't enough grannies in Europe for your stupid excuses.

Mamma mia. What have I done to deserve this?

I have got myself hooked up with a Finnish pappagallo

who carries luggage up for imaginary grannies.

Not the love birds again. Are you nuts?

Have you not got in your thick skulls that this is a frequency for taxi dispatches?

You listen, buddy. In half an hour I will be on taxi stand 17.

Then I will hear your complaints in person. You got it?

- Knock your teeth out. - Who?

Doesn't matter to me.

Three old grannies with steamer trucks on the 5th floor.

- This one's especially for Alex. - Thank you.

That's all I need. A nagging wife on the radio!

What did he say?

Taxi center, hello? All right, 52 Martin Luther, please.

52 Martin Luther. Martin Luther Street.

It's too fast. Something about moose and antlers.

- 10 minutes. - 5 minutes, please.

Maybe it's because the moose doesn't care what femine moose he's on top of.

Taxi center, hello? Mm-hm, Savignyplatz.

Savignyplatz... Savigny... Savignyplatz...

The lazy bum, with all his extra rounds.

- Be there in a minute. - There in a minute.

That's what men are like. Taxi center, hello?

- Tube station. - Zoo.

What?

- Of course, Bahnhof Zoo. 5 minutes. - Two minutes.

Bello likes to visit the polar bears.

Oh, I shouldn't even be thinking about it.

- Taxi center, hello? Mövenpick. - Mövenpick.

- My poor little dog. - Oh, what's wrong?

- He's sick, my poor little puppy. - 10 minutes.

Five minutes. Taxi center, hello? Rostlaube.

- Rostlaube... 20 minutes. - 15 minutes.

Look, I found an article about body language.

For example, how does Alex carry his butt?

I mean, does he hold his cheeks in, or do they sort of jut out?

- Taxi center, hello? - He doesn't have to hold it at all.

- Stubenrauch, in Steglitz. - Stubenrauch, in Steglitz.

Stubenrauch... I mean, he just leaves it there where it is.

There in a min... Oh, already gone.

If he held it in, that would mean repressed sexuality, you know?

Taxi center, hello?

- And if he leaves it falling out? - Same thing. Plötzensee.

Plötze. 20 minutes.

In 15 minutes. Taxi center, hello?

How is he in bed?

- Tegel. - Tegel.

- Come on. How is he in bed? - Romantic. He asks me:

"Where do you want to go, m'lady?"

And I say: "To the ends of the world. And step on it!"

No, Tegel.

Taxi center, hello.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Sleep now, eh?

Sleep, both of you.

Back ten I was the captain of a most handsome vessel.

Sure. With two handsome oars.

You don't need an engine to be a captain.

What you need is style, and knowledge of the sea.

I was the best fisherman in Napoli. Everyone knew it.

Last time you told me you've been a big mafia boss.

After the time you had been the professor of Greek history.

Well, depending on the inspiration...

- Get a move on. My plane won't wait. - Urgent deadline?

Yeah, you got it.

So, everyone's got his problems. Khrushchev, Rosberg calling.

Come on, please.

- Khrushchev here. Got something? - Yes. Mercedes, 1982.

Leather seats, radio, wide tires.

- What else? - Get a move on, for Christ's sake!

Mara says hello. It's 17 June Street, medial stripe.

Mara, Mara... Be seeing you. Over and out!

Hurry up, I'm late.

Express service costs extra money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Alex, how are kids doing?

Very good, very good.

Hollering like devils and eating the shirt off my back.

They are great kids, just like their father.

Hey dude, my friend. Why are you sitting on a bare seat?

You'll get a sore ass.

Hey listen, I'll get you a pad. Very best sheep.

- Right? - For us?

Yes. 30 marks for a friend. And then as a down payment.

- You still own me 20. - I know, but it's already in the price.

Otherwise it would be 50. Come on!

Thank you.

Wobbles. Much too small, don't look good.

That's not professional.

Why don't you tell me that your tires wobble?

You hang around here like a lamb stake.

Hey, listen. I've got some great white tires just for you, and very cheap.

I know they are wobbling. I got them from you.

And they almost cost one hundred marks.

Okay, if you put another one hundred marks on the table,

you'll get the best ones, and they are worth 500 marks.

- Peanuts. - It's caviar.

Small change, it will never get big.

Big money not important. Big in heart is important.

Big in heart, right.

And meanwhile my kids are playing with a dried-up dog shit.

Children know better. A big heart, Alex!

- Crazy Russian. - What's wrong?

No, no...

Come on!

Darling, you have no style!

- Alex! What are you doing here? - It's a night shift. Cheese dealers.

Where's the...Prix d'Ami.

It's only 100 meters, and very lousy service. How about this one?

Get going on and shut up.

I read you damn loud and clear.

- All right, go on. - Where to?

Sight-seeing. Come back later.

All right.

Alex, no one's answering the phone at home.

I'm sorry... They are all asleep.

Grandpa can't fall asleep without wine.

I'll bet he's run off to the pizzeria and left the kids at home all alone.

Go get him and take him home, please.

Can't these Italians die in dignity?

In Finland old people take a reindeer and a bottle of vodka

and go to Lappland to die in peace.

But I'll bet that this old drunken diego doesn't even know what a reindeer is.

May I remind you that I'm also Italian?

I'm Stella, your wife, the mother of your screaming sons,

and they are half Italian.

- Bastards. - Asshole! Bastards? My babies?

Just wait till you get home! Take your crappy car to Lapland

and bury your balls there for all time!

- Okay, okay, I'm on my way. - Perkele!

Sorry about this. You know women.

It's always the same.

The boat started rocking.

Soon a beautiful maiden rose from the sea.

She grabbed the side of the boat. I couldn't help but stare at her.

And she said to me, in a voice that sang like the seven seas:

"Sing once more, Nino. I haven't heard a new song in ages,

and your voice is so beautiful."

As she spoke, I saw her great white teeth,

but they were sharp and thin.

I was staring at her, mesmerized,

and she said: "Don't be afraid, Nino,

I am just a mermaid. We like music,

but unfortunately the fish are terrible singers."

She showed me the part of her body that had scales like a fish,

hidden under the surface of the water.

I was so confused that I couldn't say a word.

I sang. I sang to her from the bottom of my heart.

Before returning to the bottom of the sea,

she invited me there to sleep in her bed,

should I be ever be tired of life on shore.

One day I'll go to meet her

and take her a new song that I'm writing right now.

- How does it go? - How?

That must be very funny!

Home.

- Home! Do you understand? - I understand, I understand.

No!

He's a real pain in the ass!

- Damn, what's this now? - Please take him for a while.

It's all right. We'll just take them... yes...we take them home,

and then we go on, eh? It won't take long.

The children are dry, I've taken care of everything. Don't worry.

- Are you Finnish, Polish? Don't worry. - You just shut up, eh!

I'll put you here, right in your very own crib... There.

And if you do that one more time, I tell you,

I'll send you to the old folk's home. "Ospizio", you understand?

It is impossible, you have not money.

Then I kill you and take you to the graveyard. That's cheap.

And don't try to look for wine, because there isn't any.

My beloved Fiorella, your grandma, never owned such a fine dress.

Even it she'd had one, she would never have worn it.

It's terrible to have an Italian grandfather.

His drinking started when he was a little mafioso.

When he got bigger, he even drank more.

Crazy old gangster, but it's all over now. It's night life, anyway.

- Shut up! - Back to Prix d'Ami.

- Keep the engine running. - Okay.

Get lost. You are in the way.

Piss in the wind.

I'll take this.

Bunglers!

Hey, come on!

What the hell driving school did you go to, you goddamn meathead?

You like to fly, join the goddamn air force!

Alex! Where the hell are you?

Alex, come in. Why don't you answer?

Calling all cars, calling all cars!

Bad accident at Ernst-Reuter-Platz. Everything is shut down.

- Lot of injuries? -Hey, Alex!

Where the hell have you been the whole time? Too bad.

- There is nobody... - Later.

I'm very busy for the rest of the night. You see, steady customer.

Everything will be all right. I love you.

- He loves you. - At this time? Something's up.

- Stop. Look behind you. - Behind me, what?

Look at that pile. We're never gonna haul them all out of here.

You gotta take a couple with you.

Call the Katastrophenschutz or something, for Christ's sake.

I am the Katastrophenschutz!

You want me to confiscate this scrapheap of yours? Come here!

The clinic, and step on it!

- Mara, ready to go? - What's your hurry?

So quick to fire!

- I want you to come with me. - During work? Only on advance payment.

Why do you talk money? Just driving around, talking.

No fucking!

I'm not selling my ass here but my time.

What are we supposed to do with those? They are dead.

Oh, how in the hell did you know that?

We've seen a dozen stiffs every night. After ten years you get the hang of it.

So embalm them, or something, or anything. Because all I care is...

Tchüss!

Did you hear that?

Nobody likes you guys. I'm beginning to feel sorry for you.

Khrushchev, come in, please. Dammit, where are you?

It's Alex here. Have you seen Igor?

No, no, I'm not... I'm Alex. I'm looking for Igor.

Or Mara. No, not Mara. I'm Alex. I'm looking for Igor or Mara.

Please get them to the phone.

Hey, it's occupied!

Stop! Occupato! No, no, not you, please!

That's my taxi. Stop! I'm gonna kill you! Stop!

Hey, give back my taxi!

I kill you! Give me back my taxi!

I kill you! I kill you!

No hard feelings. I'll pay for everything.

Where'd you want me to go? Where'd you guys want to go, eh?

I'll pay for everything. My name is Redlich, Fritz.

Hey, these guys are not even moving.

Really in peace, huh? I wish I could be like that.

Hey, you just move your ass outside in peace!

Yeah, you're right, peace is always on the outside.

But they, those guys, they look as though they've found that "inner circle".

I mean, they don't say anything anymore. Nothing. I mean, that's real, man.

I've been drinking for years just trying to find that kind...

Hey, you just get out of here, you goddamn idiot!

That's it, you've got it! It's idiocy!

At some point, you discover: hey, I'm an idiot!

All of a sudden, bang! It's a fact. And so you can't get any peace.

You know beyond a shadow of a doubt if you're an idiot.

And everybody else is an idiot too, and so we can all never get any peace,

because we're getting more and more idiotic all the time.

Because you're so shocked, you have a drink.

Then you realize you can't do anything about it.

Not a damn thing. And so you have another drink.

And then another...

Until that big peace comes.

Oh, it's so sad. Man, I think I need another drink.

- Bye bye, fellows. - Bye bye.

Alex, come in.

Where's the Finn?

Na zdorovye!

Talk, comrade! We're not from the Bolshoi ballet.

Alex! Alex, come in!

Igor! It's getting hot. Do you have any ideas?

- I think... - Please, do it fast!

I try.

- I've got it. - What?

- The idea. - No shit? Please, hurry up!

Alex, bring them to Spandau canal.

Let's see what our friends think about real snow.

I got it. I'm coming.

- Alex, I'm ready. - I'm coming!

Where the hell did you get your fucking driving license, you idiot?

- Igor, where are you? - I'm here. Everything all right?

- Everything fine, thank you. - Take them down to the crane.

I'm coming down. Let's go.

Do you hear me? You drive like Shirley Temple drunk!

Okay, it's ready.

Danke schön.

I just didn't see...

Oh, shut up, Pee Wee. You've said enough.

- It's pile of stupid paper. - Oh, come on, don't be so boring.

I'm not boring. The two guys back, was that you?

No, nonsense. And even if I did, so what?

Pushers!

Too much money for you. Give it back.

I'm not giving anything back. I'm sick and tired of giving back.

All I get is scrap metal and old tires.

Not this time, no way. I need help, half is yours.

Alex, old tires are good. Blood money and dead bodies is bad.

What are you worrying about two bloody pushers for?

They are hanging in my hook.

Okay, stop the car, and I'll get them off you fucking hook!

- For what the money? - No more cold spaghetti!

And no more hustling for small change. I could fly to the moon with kids.

In two rockets.

- Mara doesn't want any kids. - So eat her pills, then!

And stop that nonsense! We have got money.

Okay. Okay, I'll try.

Don't throw the money away!

Alex? 007? 007?

Quit joking around. Calling all cars, calling all cars...

Keep an eye out for Alex. He's the Finn with the old Admiral.

Please tell him to contact me.

- What's happening? - Nothing. It's a private matter.

Cheer up. Maybe you've seen the last of him.

Maybe he doesn't answer because his radio exploded.

Sells only junk.

Just tell him to contact me, all right?

He's up to something again, I know it.

You only want to pick a fight with him.

You guys always start fighting around this time.

No, no. Something's up. I can feel it.

If he would just put his nose to the grind

instead of fooling around with his crazy scams all the time.

- Lilli is becoming exactly like him. - Interesting case for genetic exploration.

Northern stepfather code seems to dominate southern halfbreed...

- Now don't you start on me too! - Whatever happened to her real father?

Who, Johnnie? When I discovered that I was pregnant with Lilli,

he discovered his roots, went back to Africa, and I was history.

Mm, Africa. Well, for a black... What does he do there?

He's a travelling salesman in the bush, sells TV antennas.

In the bush?

Of course. Johnnie was always very clever.

There is probably one of Johnnie's antennas in every village by now.

And all because of Lilli.

- Holy Mother, there's two of them! - Shut up!

First I take Stella and then the kids, and off we go.

And Mara.

So take her, for Christ's sake! Stop that whining and just grab her!

Ciao, ragazzi.

They're all crazy!

Hey you, wait a minute!

Wait a minute. The freezer is yours, all right,

but the place is mine. I gotta pay a rent.

But it's a big freezer and takes a lot of room.

Transportation included, eh?

Business is business.

Finally you've become something. I'm almost proud of you.

You old jackass. You go home and lock the door behind you.

Right now!

- Do I need to walk? - You need to run, goddammit!

Let's go!

Avanti popolo!

He's an animal, but he's also the father of my grandchildren.

I return in glory, as a victor! Long live Naples!

Here you are. Thank you very much. Let's go!

Taxi center, hello? Checkpoint Charlie with a dog.

Checkpoint Charlie with a dog.

- 10 minutes. - 5 minutes.

Alex! What are you doing here? What's going on?

What are you doing? Have you gone mad?

Duck ass, trudges his butt out. Typical secret disguise.

How would you like Helsinki or Napoli, or anything?

Every one of these yellow ligts is a taxi driver.

I talk to them, they invite me out...

- And I never was interested... - Stella, we don't have much time.

We never have enough time.

For me they were always just more yellow lights in the night,

until you stormed into the office and asked me to marry you.

"Bella voce". You looked up this word especially for me.

- Do you remember? - Yes.

That night you also sold me an old radio with an electric antenna.

I knew then that you weren't just another small yellow light in the night.

Stella, now we have got the money, but we just got to get out of here.

You'll get everything you ever dreamed of, and I'll stay home every night

but we just got to get out of here.

Maybe you better go.

What are you talking about? You just can't...

Don't tell me what I can do!

Hey!

Oh no...not again!

Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I'm stupid?

"What do you think about Helsinki or Napoli?"

Come on, you've stolen that money!

And now we are supposed to run away with you to the ends of the world?

What happens when we can't go any further? What about our children?

Do you have any idea what children are all about?

Do you think that if somebody hurts them you can just repair them like your old taxi?

Or maybe you can buy youself some new ones. With your suitcase full of filth.

But Stella, this is so much. This is the...

...dream come true.

Alex, my dear, to hell with your dreams.

You want me? And you want your children?

What do you want?

Nothing, nothing at all.

Hello, hello? Father, is it you? Hello?

I can't believe it. He can't possibly be that drunk.

What do you want, anyway?

Your husband can't steal, your father can't drink.

What's going to become of your sons, huh?

Kidnapping little brats, what a business. Never again!

Ow! You little, nasty little...

Make it big enough for them to see.

Tell 'em they get their babies back alive and crying

in exchange for my money and those two dead bastards.

What the hell are you doing? What is that?

- Why don't you put down what I tell you? - I can't write.

- Well, what the hell can you do? - Many things.

Never mind, never mind. Write it your own style.

Do you have the faintest idea what the children are?

Do you know that? You know that, you piece of shit?

The hell with your dreams.

Go to hell!

Igor!

That's the end of the Russian lullaby.

Let's go, boys.

Alex? Alex?

My daughter Stella! I didn't know she was on the radio.

What's she saying?

Alex, come in. Why don't you answer?

No, Stella, Alex is not with us. We haven't seen him.

Stella, he's not here. She's not answering.

This corpse here, is he drunk, or what?

How much for the SovTrans car?

Skolko...russki...macchina?

- Ochen mnogo. Very much. - Very much, okay.

- What is it? - Shit.

White shit! There it goes!

- Where are the kids? If you... - What's with the kids?

Oh, it's you? How are you?

Alex, what's with the kids? Why are you at home?

- The kids are sleeping. Why? - Alex, listen and listen good.

- What's with the kids? - I just told you, they are sleeping.

- Bring them to te phone. - But Stella...

What's with my kids?!

My children.

What a life.

That's it. I've had it.

- Why are they howling? - Because you're such a doofus.

- Come on, please. - They need fresh diapers.

Where the hell are we going to get diapers in the middle of the night?

- You're a gangster. Why don't you steal some. - Give me a break.

You need cartridges, right?

I've been waiting for a long time to do this.

- Hey Alex, can I come with you? - No.

- Why not? - Because man has to do what man has to do.

- I'm good at that, I can help you. - It's my funeral.

I can bury you.

Good luck.

Alex...

- Mike and Ike, they look alike. - Shh, you'll wake up the kids.

- Why are they sleeping now? - Forget it. Let's go.

Oh, thank you, missy.

Damned pushers of shit! Hip, hip, hooray!

Oh yeah, the bottle.

Where is the boss?

- What does he mean? - He don't even know himself.

I was asking you where is the little man.

Hey relax, have a drink.

- I will blow you all up! - You think he means it?

- No, he don't really mean that. - You pigs!

I'm gonna squash you like bugs and peel your skin off like a potato!

- And what if he does mean it? - You swine! You...you dirty swine!

- You mean us, cowboy? - You're small potatoes, that's what you are!

Such small potatoes...

Maybe that's what he meant.

Now we'll paint the town red.

- That's right. - You see? We got such pretty girls, too.

- We're rocking. - We're gonna have a ball tonight.

- Let's spend the money big time. - And all night long.

- What are we going to do with the girls? - What? Fuck them, of course.

Lilli?

- Where is Alex? - I don't know. What are you doing here?

We have to find him.

Igor! Igor!

Where are my children? Where are my children?

Stella, I don't know.

- There! - This one?

- Lilli, you sure? - No.

Try to remember. What kind of a house? Big house? Small house?

- What color of a house? - You're making her cry.

You stay out of this. Try to remember, please!

- I'll never find it again! - I'm sorry. We'll find it.

- It is this one! - This one?

The big one? You mean that you're really sure about it? Good!

That's the car!

Here it was. I'm sure.

Open the door! Here is your goddamn money!

Good evening.

I'm afraid we don't need your damned money.

But come in for a moment. Nights are so long,

- when all friends have gone. - Please, dear.

- What is it, Alex? - The elevator! They're going downstairs!

Come back, you motherfuckers!

I got it! I've got an idea! Come on!

Yes, it's an old green Granada. Tell them to bring it to Alfred-Döblin-Platz.

No, the place in front of our house. Yes, that's the... Right!

I promise, I buy the biggest bone you ever saw to Bello.

Or polar bear, or anything you...

Fucking idiot talking about her stupid dog!

Of course, I promise! I must go now. Good bye and thank you!

Calling all drivers, calling all drivers!

All guest workers, this is Molly from the taxi center.

We have to help Stella.

In the direction of Kreuzberg, Oranienstrasse and then Luckauer Strasse.

Please, hurry! But don't hit them, just stop them.

Vamos, Juan Carlos! François, allez hop!

Auf gehts, Helmut! Na zdorovye, Mikhail.

Get going, Olaf. Mara, liikettä perkele!

Andiamo, Francesco! Dai, dai...

All of you, in the direction of Potsdamer Platz, hurry up!

Get the bastards!

You get out of my way, you goddamn bunch of wetbags!

Can't even stop a lousy dwarfs.

You're nothing but a bunch of foreigners!

Why are you here? Nobody wants you here.

Why the hell are we here? For the money?

But we don't end up with any. But we are not bad people.

Why am I here?

Everything will be all right.

Certo.

Lilli take good care.

- They come back. - Sure.

They come back when hungry. You cook fine spaghetti.

Spaghetti...

There!

Hello, sport fans!

Bigger crowd than I figured on for a summit meeting.

Now where the hell is that Helsinki hack-pushing horse thief?

Where are my children?

So you're the dragon mama of the time bomb twins, eh?

When they're hollering goddamn loud to tear down that Berlin wall.

- I had to shut 'em up. - Where are they?

Snug as bugs on a rug.

They've been fed and washed. They've been oiled.

They've been powdered and diapered.

And I'll tell you one thing, mamma mia.

I learned a helluva lot from them all this night long.

But I stil hate babies, and especially their poppa.

That crazy son of a bitch, that bastard hijacked my stolen cash!

You are the bastard!

Where are my kids?

Oh, they've got their health.

- You got my money? - Yeah!

- And the corpses? - Yeah!

- You wanna swap? - Yeah!

- Why dead bodies? - You keep out of this, you Moscow drunk,

or I'll send your head pickled in vodka back to Gorbachev!

- In one hour, at the canal, alone! - No, with everybody!

- Alone. - I said everybody!

Okay, everybody. If you try to fuck me,

we'll see if the little ones know how to swim.

- Why do you hate babies? - They grow up to be cops.

No!

- Let's go now. Very subito. - Okay, but first one thing.

Mamma mia!

Dead bodies are gone.

Grandpa! Grandpa!

Where are the bodies?

I don't understand. Another house...

- Wake up! The party's over! - Who is speaking?

Take it easy, mama. Let me have that.

Okay, we're halfway home.

All right, get your babies. And move fast.

Very considerate to put the bodies in white cement.

We'll bust 'em open later for Snow White.

- Come on, get moving. - Need a hammer.

- Very funny. - Get moving, troublemaker!

Get your ass out of here. With the lady. Come on, let's go.

Watch out!

They're not gangsters, they're children!

Mamma mia. I'm almost proud of you.

Not bad at all.

- Let's go. - Where?

- Wherever you want to. - Good.

Very good.

Let's go.

Here now. We'll get your stinking money.

- We're the goddamn amateurs. - Yeah.

Why don't we try a peaceful, honest profession?

- Like picking pockets? - Yeah!

I hate you!

What's the matter with you? What're you doing?

- You gonna jump in? - Yeah!

- You got a swimming license? - No, I don't have any kind of license!

- Give me my goddamn lighter! - Here is your lighter!

Now jump!

You know, changing your profession is not a bad idea. Can you swim?

Picking pockets doesn't pay off like picking up a new load of Snow White.

After all, tomorrow is another day.

- Helsinki. - Napoli.

- Odessa. - Liverpool!

- Wannsee! - Home!

Let's go home. To Helsinki!