Original subtitles

Hello, welcome to Blood Twinkles Incorporated.

I am going to be twinking all of your blood today.

Every last drop, I'm feeling pretty thirsty, so I had the option to sort of, I could have

chosen just a smaller portion of blood, and then other vampires could have been drinking

it.

But I had a very white breakfast, so I'm feeling pretty thirsty, so I opted to twink all of

your blood.

Okay, all of it, all of your blood.

It was not personal, it was simply personally picked based on my very personal preferences.

My favorite kind of blood to twink is, you played a lot of video games, and so the blood

congeals in your legs a lot, and it makes very gummy texture, so gummy legs are my favorite

kind of blood.

So I hope you will understand, it is not personal, it is just based on my personal preferences,

okay?

So I'm gonna, I'm gonna drink all of it.

Oh, I forgot to say, Point Twinklers Incorporated is a, is a sort of a restaurant, sort of money

wandering scheme, but it matches you, the vampire, or not you, me, the vampire, with

bloodbrags that are very good match for you, so you're the best match for me, and I think

that's all the things I was supposed to tell you.

Oh, first, we have to do a sort of, um, survey, so, I mean, I'm gonna ask you a few questions,

okay?

Okay.

Um, what, what is your blood type?

That's really gross.

I, I hope that gummy legs sort of make up for that, cuz that is my least favorite blood

type.

So, gross.

Um, okay, so, uh, what is your, um, what is your age?

Okay.

Okay, now, uh, the next question is, what is your mood on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being

the best mood you ever have, and, uh, when being, you feel, you feel awful, bad?

Okay, um, that's pretty well.

Maybe you, well, I would normally suggest K.O. and, and yoga, but I don't, I don't,

you're not gonna be able to have, uh, time to do that after you die, so, that's, I guess,

so I have a personal problem for you.

Normally, I, I'm a very good listener, but it's just different now.

Okay, so, um, the next question is gonna be, um, uh, is, what is your favorite meal?

I would really appreciate, appreciate if you would, um, answer your questions instead of,

um, begging.

That's pretty awkward for me, um, I'm trying to be very, um, what's the word, uh, like

diplomatic about, about, about the blood drinking.

It's, it's not like I chose to be vampire, so, um, like, like I said, favorite meal.

Oh my gosh, I also really liked that meal when I was human, it was good, it was, it

was good yummy, okay, um, now next question is do you, um, do you drink or smoke or do

drugs?

Okay, that makes the flavor better, good, um, now, have you ever, um, have you ever

done any sort of, um, have you ever taken iron supplements in the last week?

Okay, good, cause I'm kind of low on iron and it's good to get it in your meals instead

of supplements so then you and my meal, okay, um, so next question is, uh, your next question

is, do you, um, what does that say, do you, do you have any mental illnesses?

Okay, um, like, what kind, mm-hmm, oh that's sad, yeah, my, my, my, my father never loved

me either, but, uh, that's okay now cause he's dead, oh yeah, I, um, I killed him, he

was gonna die of old age by now anyway, but, um, I killed him, I, I killed him a lot, many

kills, I didn't drink his blood cause that's gross, but I did, um, I did sort of, uh, meme,

like whip tail meme, mm-hmm, my favorite kind of, um, maiming is whipping and tearing, okay,

um, my next question is, um, have, in the past two weeks, have you ever had thoughts

about hurting yourself or others, right, that's not, you know, it's not good to hurt other

people, everybody's different for me cause I'm a vampire, so, you can't, you can't bring

me, and you can't bring being a brogo on why you wanna hurt people, or being a cancer,

or being a scorpio, okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'm just gonna ask, okay,

what is this, when you think of a circle, what do you think of, I think that's what

it says, okay, good, um, I want you to blink really fast, okay, that was not good, um,

I want, I want you to, I want, I want you to, um, I want, I want you to follow my finger

for a moment, okay, terrible performance, I'm gonna definitely have to fill out the

survey after this, cause your answers are pretty terrible, and I'm worried about how

it's gonna affect the quality of the meal, so, if you, um, if you could, do you, did

they, they tested your blood, yeah, and did they go, mmm, or did they go, eh, okay, well,

I'm gonna try to believe you, but I feel like, I feel like you're just saying that cause

you don't want me to eat you, Twinkie, Twinkie eating, not so much eating, more of the Twinkie,

okay, um, so, the, the next part, the next part is I'm gonna be Twink, Twinkie on you,

okay, so, um, I'm, I'm, I'm personally, I, I personally prefer the on, but, they said

I have to do the neck, so I'm gonna be Twinkie out of the neck, okay, okay, um, so, just

be very, um, normal, and you can, you can scream if you want, that's okay, it sort of

makes you groove, vibrate, from the force of the screaming, and, it puts little bubbles

in the blood, when it comes out, and it, nummy, so, nummy nummy in my tummy, okay, okay, uh,

prepare to be, um, to, to perish, okay, okay, um, here I go, here I go,

that was pretty, pretty good blood, so, um, well, um, thanks for all your hard work, making

the good blood, okay, okay, I'm gonna go to the other side now, okay, I'll just sit

right there while I just go, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,

okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, you have very nice blood,

um are you are you a vegan okay that that's probably why it tastes better

something about the food that you eat makes you um was so better to drink and

be killed and stuff but anyway um I think you should know that it's well these

days to come across but that is so very um so very above average I would not say

the best word I've ever had but um it is probably around a similar feeling as

Ikea meatballs it's like it's okay for when you finish your shopping I wouldn't

go out of my way to get them but this place is kind of the Ikea of blood

drinking so does that I mean just look at the decor it's very very blood

drink any I mean Ikea blood twinkie anyway time for more blood

drinking are you are you feeling faint okay I I don't know if you figured it

out but I don't care about that so just okay

it always makes me so sleepy so very very sleepy

do you feel that's a lot of bearish drinking blood always makes me so

sleepy so sleepy the sleepiest never meet me when I'm sleepy me me when I'm

what module wings we be we be me when I'm me when I'm you when I'm me when I'm

what you know just a little it's you I tell that spot okay and we drink

did you know that my name is wet it is wet like a mouse but a wet it's so

it's wet so my name is wet and your name is right name is wet um have you

considered um being with that because I paid for a lot of time and you are not

doing that time you're dying pretty faster than I thought okay with you

faster than I thought I need you to die a little slower okay can you do that can

you die just a little bit slower okay thank you I'm glad that you can be so

reasonable so very very reasonable okay so here's some reasonable what we can

okay move your head a little bit

okay um it seems like you are reading we're reading you're you're so you're

you know you're not very aggressive you're very um you're reading a lot

you're very submissive and readable you know so um anyway um I can taste the

death the death in your blood so I am gonna have to move on to the end of

end of drinking survey and and then as you fade into the darkness of death I'm

going to be we are showing you okay you are going to be okay as you um fade into

the unknown okay okay so I mean okay survey is for me not you but I'm gonna

read it out loud so that you can um appreciate it okay um number one on the scale of one to

five um how much did you enjoy your experience at blood twinkles incorporated

I would I'll give it about a three because you died you know you reached the

brink of death faster than I thought and then um I think you could also probably have

even more more me and your wife because I would be good for my iron levels okay

on a scale of one to five how how much would I recommend what the twinklers

incorporated to a friend I don't have any friends cuz I hate them all and you

want to drink drink them all but I mean I had a widow nipple a couple of times

but I can't be irresponsible but if I did have a friend I would probably

recommend how satisfied do I feel with my match on my preferences I would say I

could taste the gummy and the legs a lot I could tell you played a lot of video

game oh I just sat around a lot sat around a lot this is so s-a-t-i-w-o-n-t-a-w-a-t

sat around a lot okay um and on the scale of one to five how close to um how

close was the portion size to what you requested um well it was less blood than

I thought I think blood bag should have been given more food before um

appointment um and then it asks me to um give a reading on you and I would say

you were um very very squeak squeak you screamed a lot um but that's easy to

ignore because I don't care um other than that you were very um very cute and

um very sort of very um your eyes were pretty mm-hmm very pretty eyes and I like

your nose especially especially yeah three and a half stars okay okay I can

tell that you are fading into I will be giving you some reassurance to make the

last moments of your life Billy um really put everything is going to be

okay everything is gonna work out in your next life and everything is going to

work out in your in your next death mm-hmm um if I could I would also kill

you the next time you just seem like you'd be good to kill twice um maybe if

you had more steaks and hamburgers then you would have tasted a little better

and so um when you get reincarnated I will try to wake you up and see if you

can um do it again but but better I feel like I feel like you did a pretty bad

job of um being a blood bag so that is a personal preference over mine so um I

will everything's gonna be okay it's all gonna be okay next time before I kill

you again and you have sort of sort of you are very forget my train of thought

yeah I always get a little bit kooky after after what drinking makes me it

makes me very silly which is not my usual sort of um persona but um just sweep sweep just

gonna sweep so sweepy I think you're going to fall asleep faster than you

know I think you're going to dream a good dream well you you'll probably be

in reincarnated pretty fast because your soul will be um full of unrest and it

wants to come back to find your killer but you will never find me because you

won't remember me that's what the souls always forget if they stayed a ghost

they could haunt and maybe get some answers I will give you the answers

right now the answers are you got kidnapped by what doing goes

incorporated but you are very very good at video game you have high school or

something I don't really know how they work but you did very good at the put

button pushing stuff and you were very good at that unfortunately you had your

headphones on when they kidnapped you so you did not see it coming so that's

the other thing about video game I think you could have drink was energy drink I

feel a little bit of it in my in myself now which means you must have doing so

many monster drink or something which is ironically my least favorite drink is

the monster kind is a sort of a cliche to drink that they serve a lot at the

monster school but anyway um you are going to be very very not a ghost

because there's your answers is that you're good at video game but it was

your downfall um I kind of got to taste the gummy legs what which was good and

um you probably should play West video game next time you are not gonna be

ghost you're gonna be um reincarnated probably into a baby but probably also

maybe like a bug if you turn into a bug I promise I won't eat you cause bugs are

gross but if you sort of want to play again and in the sense of play video

game and get kidnapped by bloodwinkers incorporated um I will find you and I

will make sure you eat more food and with energy drink and and with plants

and more meat because that would be more tasty for me anyway good sleep and good

night you go sweep now go sweep go sweep go sweep goodbye