Original subtitles

[slurping] Mm.

Ugh...

You call this a smoothie?

Viscosity's way off.

It's just juice.

Okay, alright. Good note, good note.

I'll keep that in mind. So, look...

Denise, you got my attention.

I didn't know what to believe before,

but I'm listening now, okay?

And I'm sure you've signed

some kind of non-disclosure agreement.

-So let's talk about smoothies. -Oh!

Let's say Smoothie City was releasing

a new lactose-free smoothie, and you knew

that it was just filled to the tits with dairy.

Where would I look to find evidence of said dairy?

They'd have no reason to do that.

Dairy alternatives are big business. [chuckles]

I'm talking about Horamo, Denise.

Horamo, the migraine medication.

I need to know what's going on there, and why you left.

Oh, I didn't leave.

I was fired.

What?

-Mm. -You were--

NATHAN JR: Kate, I'm trying to figure out

what to get Julian for his birthday, and...

Wait, you didn't say anyone was here!

I should go.

No, please, please, please.

Just give me a minute, okay? Thirty seconds, tops.

Thirty seconds! Thirty seconds.

Hey, buddy, what's up?

Uh, okay, so this whole open relationship thing

isn't really working for me.

But Julian's birthday's coming up,

and I thought that would be a good chance to get him something

that says "Happy Birthday"

as well as "Please only be with me."

Okay, okay, a gift.

Uh, you know what? Don't get him anything.

Why don't you, um, uh, play your sax?

Are you sure?

I am positive, I am positive.

You go write something from the heart, and it's gonna go great.

Oh!

Okay, he's gone.

No more distractions.

You said you were fired? Why?

DENISE: Ram knows that I know

that he has friends on regulatory boards,

and that's why Horamo's being released so quickly.

Okay, well, it's actually being delayed, okay?

Ram is putting it back through R&D.

[chuckles] He's not delaying anything!

In fact, he's moving up the release date on Horamo.

It's going to market early?

You didn't hear it from me.

[mysterious music]

♪

Thank you both for coming in,

taking time out of your busy schedules.

You're welcome.

[typing sounds]

KATE: [under her breath] Fucking Ram.

Where are you?

JENNY: [clears throat]

Hi, yes! Uh, happy to be here, of course.

Well, I have good news!

You've both been selected to organize the school fun fair!

I thought you said "good news."

I can't...?

Well, everyone says that at first,

but you have been selected for a very good reason.

Well, what reason?

Well, all parents are expected to contribute

in some way, and so far you two have contributed...

in no way.

Yeah.

And we pay a lot of money to contribute in no way.

[typing sounds]

[clears throat]

Woo? [text sent sound]

HEADMASTER: Yoo-hoo!

[claps hands]

Hm?

HEADMASTER: Hi.

Sorry. Uh, work... stuff.

HEADMASTER: Yes, well, you also have kid stuff,

considering how bad things have gotten

between your two children.

-Zoe and Charlie? -What's going on?

Oh my, they hate each other!

The tension between them can be quite distracting.

So it wouldn't hurt if you two could set a good example

and try to work together harmoniously.

♪

I'm sorry, but this is bullshit, okay?

I'm in the thick of it at work.

I don't have time to plan a fun fair.

And I know what you're gonna say, but--

I'll do it.

What, you will? Why?

Because I'm a good person?

Uh-huh... What's the catch?

No catch.

I don't treat people like shit, and I'm not a psycho.

And besides, you can't, and I can.

I mean, I guess you do have

a little more time on your hands right now.

If you're referring to my employment status,

I'll have you know I have an interview today.

It's with a great company and I'm a great fit,

because I'm a great person!

Yeah, you mentioned that.

Alright, well, thank you.

And good luck!

Thanks.

Oh, look at them.

They're fine.

I mean, what is she talking about?

Well, even if they weren't,

it's definitely not Zoe. She's an angel baby.

So, maybe check on Charlie.

Will do. Bye.

♪

♪

Hey, Alice. It's me calling, again.

I'm just calling to check in on you, see how you're doing.

Uh, call me back, please.

[phone buzzes]

Fuck!

I hear that.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

You got time?

You know what, I've given therapy to friends before,

and it-- it doesn't really work out.

Think of this as therapy-adjacent.

A conversation between like-minded ragey friends.

One just happens to be a professional.

Okay, I am also busy. I have appointments.

Clear your schedule.

You can't bribe me, Sloane.

I don't feel like myself at work.

I don't feel like myself at home.

My vagina's broken.

Different doctor for that.

Look, the point is, I'm tasking as hard as I can.

At work, at home.

I'm tasking so hard, I'm losing my goddamn mind, and I-I...

I need help.

Well, I...

I don't know what "tasking" means, but, uh...

I do know about not feeling like yourself.

The thing is, you lose yourself the second you give birth.

Funny how nobody mentions that little gem

prior to getting pregnant.

ANNE: I mean, don't get me wrong,

being a mother is so fulfilling and so beautiful.

But kids will take and take and take until they wear you out

and block your number like you're a call centre

from a different--

Okay, I'm sorry, this doesn't sound like my thing at all.

No, but it's your future.

And I thought you of all people would want to know the truth.

I'm telling you, you gotta be ready.

Because when that day comes-- and it is coming--

when your kid wants nothing to do with you,

you gotta know who you are without them.

Who were you before?

Who's...

old Sloane?

Pre-baby Sloane.

Get to know her again.

She's increasingly foggy.

I'm taking the day off.

You coming?

♪

MAITRE D': Right this way, ladies.

Wow, the backroom!

You don't get out much, do ya?

What? Who doesn't like a backroom?

You ready to walk a mile in Old Sloane's shoes?

Yep, I didn't play hooky for nothing!

Well, buckle up, bitch!

[sighs] Okay.

You are moving up the release date of Horamo?

Kate!

Kind of thing you might want to discuss with your PR firm,

-don't ya think? -Okay, Kate--

No, I came to you with legitimate concerns

about Horamo, and you lied about looking into it!

Okay, can I speak?

I'm feeling a little attacked here.

Yeah, 'cause you're under attack.

Who told you about the release?

I have a... I have a source.

Was it Denise?

'Cause Denise can't be trusted.

Really, 'cause at the moment it is you

who are not looking trustworthy.

Really? Can I show you something?

No.

...Yes.

RAM: There's your trustworthy scientist,

caught selling our formula for Seedless

to a foreign competitor.

KATE: No way. She is not a criminal.

Maybe she's just, you know,

workin' late with some colleagues.

[scoffs]

Certainly aren't colleagues of mine.

You know, I don't even know that that's Denise.

KATE: No, that's her. That is definitely her.

Look at her scratching. She loves to scratch.

RAM: Clearly there were some surveillance cameras

Denise did not know about.

Look, you're gonna see she gets paid...

right there.

KATE: Shit, well, that explains the psoriasis.

RAM: On top of that, her work had become erratic.

She was unreliable.

So I guess you don't have the regulatory boards

in your back pocket?

What, why would you think that?

Well, I mean, Horamo was approved pretty quickly.

RAM: Because Horamo is ready.

Here's what R&D told me when I took your concerns to them.

Okay.

So, pain and memory are housed in the same part

of the brain, and Horamo floods those pain receptors

with serotonin, thereby reversing the effects

of a migraine, when you have a migraine.

Now, if you take Horamo when you don't have a migraine,

it's gonna go looking for pain, and when it doesn't find any,

it's gonna attack memory instead.

That's why you and your friends

experienced temporary memory loss and elation.

We were elated... yeah.

And this will all be noted in the drug's documentation.

When you used to get migraines,

you said, because of salt, right?

Oh, yeah.

Bowl of cured olives, for instance, pssht!

It's like a mallet to my brain.

Okay, okay, so wouldn't you have done anything at that time

to make it stop?

Well...

Okay, you don't believe me...

Believe these.

Testimonials, from the Horamo trials, of migraine sufferers.

When people are in pain, they just want to make it stop.

And Horamo does that in 45 minutes, tops.

Kate, this is a miracle drug.

Think of all the people we could help.

♪

Mmm!

Mmm, my God, this is so delicious.

I don't remember the last time I took lunch for myself.

I don't remember the last time I ate lunch

without being milked like a prized cow.

I usually spend mine arranging Jayme's playdates

and shoving week-old Rotisserie chicken down my throat.

I should probably pump after this.

Shit, I forgot to register Jayme for gymnastics.

Fuck!

No!

No, we are not doing this.

You're right! Rediscovering our old selves.

You wanna have some fun?

Yes!

MAITRE D': Everything okay?

No, actually.

My deepest apologies, Ms. Mitchell.

What seems to be the problem?

Neither of these meals are any good.

So, why don't you take 'em back to the kitchen and try again?

MAITRE D': Right away.

So sorry, Ms. Mitchell.

Oh, uh...

[quietly] What was wrong with them?

-Nothing. -Really?

That guy was-- he looked like he was about to cry!

That's the whole point!

Old Sloane loved this shit!

Oh...

Yeah, I mean... that-- cool.

Yeah, it's not quite hitting the same way that it used to.

No.

Okay, okay, apart from terrorizing wait staff,

what made Old Sloane feel alive?

What's the craziest shit you used to do?

You really wanna know?

♪

♪

Ladies!

Who's hungry?

Wait, Kate told me about this.

These aren't-- are these--

Meatboys? You're goddamn right they are.

Okay.

I'm also skilled at creating and implementing systems.

I have experience working with teams,

as well as leading projects.

And, as I always say, every development team is only as good

as the donuts you bring in for them on Monday!

[laughs]

Wait until the team hears that one!

They're gonna love it.

Jenny, this has been great. I think your positive energy

would be a valuable addition to the team.

I get that a lot.

Well, thank you again for coming in.

We'll be in touch!

Did I get it?

Get what?

The job.

Oh, um, well, we still have a few more interviews to do, so...

Yeah, well, I saw the competition out there...

I mean, yikes!

What do you mean?

You know, ugly, stupid, boring.

They look like they're gonna go home to their lightsaber toys.

[laughs]

Oh, well... They come highly recommended.

Are you gonna make me beg?

I was a manager. I've done interviews.

You just have a gut feeling about these things.

So, do I have the job or not?

Well, 30 seconds ago, you did.

But now... you don't.

This interview's over.

I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Fine!

I'm over-qualified for this shit job anyway.

Also, your bangs are stupid!

♪

MEATBOY: Ooh!

You are so tense!

Yeah, I wonder why.

Take five.

Take five?

We're not doing anything wrong.

They're getting paid, everyone's having fun!

Yeah, you're right. No, totally.

Yeah, we're having fun.

Isn't that the whole point of today?

Yes! Right.

You're right.

And besides, you ever do shots off a six-pack?

What?

You, here. Care to share your abs with us?

[giggles]

MAN: [in background] Woo!

ANNE: O-okay...

[laughs awkwardly]

Ooh!

Sorry.

It's cold. [chuckles]

ANNE: To Old Sloane!

SLOANE: To Old Sloane!

♪ Are you ready for more?

SLOANE: Alright!

♪ Going straight now to your ear ♪

♪ It's girl time, no stopping us ♪

♪ Kick it off in higher gear!

SLOANE: Ah!

♪ Ready, set, go

♪ Becoming a mess!

SLOANE: [screaming]

♪ Yeah, watch this

♪ Yeah, watch this

ANNE: Are you having fun yet?

Aah!

Honestly...

not really.

I think I just want to be with my kid.

Yeah, me too.

Let's get out of here.

Yeah.

♪

ROSIE: No more zombies!

Look!

KATE: Oh, shit.

Is that...

Juniper?

Yup.

She and Forrest couldn't decide who'd be the face

of their next prototype.

Guess she won the coin toss.

It was somehow less horrifying when it was a zombie.

I dunno... I think she's kinda cute!

Is there... is there anything else, Rose, or...?

No. Yes.

I was hoping to take some vacation days.

You already maxed out your vacation days for the year.

What are you talking about?

You took two weeks off because your cat was depressed.

-Those were sick days! -You were in Mexico!

And I got sick there.

People don't tell you not to drink the water!

Literally the first thing people say about Mexico is

"Do not drink the water."

Well, a bunch of my girlies are going to Vegas

for Christina Miller's bachelorette, #It'sMillerTime.

And I haven't technically taken a vacation since--

KATE: You can go, okay?

But it will be unpaid, because again, you've maxed out!

Well, what's even the point of being partner?

This blows!

Sorry, Rose. I don't know what to tell ya.

Well, don't apologize to me!

Why don't I call Christina Miller right now

and you can explain to her why her maid of honour

can't be there for her last weekend as a free woman!

-Got a minute, boss? -No.

It's just that my friend Christina Miller's

-getting married... -Do not start.

You still poring over those Horamo testimonials?

How are you still on the fence?

I just-- I want to be sure, you know?

This is our reputation on the line.

Not sure if you noticed, but it says "Kate Foster PR"

on the door. Imagine it said "Mo Daniels PR."

Oh, I do.

Every day.

Okay, well, then you get it, right?

If they go down, we go down.

I dunno, I thought reading these people's stories

would help, but... [sighs]

I don't know what to believe.

Yeah, the way I see it,

when you're looking for problems, you'll find problems.

Why don't you start looking for a solution?

Very helpful. Poetic, even.

You've got hundreds of first-hand accounts here.

What else do you need to convince yourself

that this pill needs to be on the shelves?

[sighs]

What? It's my cheat day.

Man, you're gonna be bloated after all that salt.

♪

[loud crunching]

♪

♪

♪

[ticking clock sound]

♪

[ticking clock sound]

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh...

There she is! Okay...

Where are the pills? Where are the pills?

[pills rattling]

♪

Okay...

Okay...

Here we...

[dissonant music]

[peaceful music]

PAUL: [talking to baby]

Yeah!

Oh...

You look like you could use some baby love.

There you go, little man. Go to your mama.

SLOANE: Mmm...

Well, it's gettin' late. I'm gonna head out.

Oh yeah, I made you a bouillabaisse.

It's a little cold right now.

I wasn't sure what time you'd be home at,

but 90 seconds in the microwave should do it.

No one has ever taken care of me like this.

Well, that makes me sad because you deserve it.

Move in with us.

[exhales] Are you sure?

SLOANE: You deserve to be taken care of too.

♪

♪

Oh, you reek of champagne.

♪

Hi, Alice.

Uh, I guess you've blocked my number.

Anyway, um, I just called to say...

I hope you have a good sleep.

Goodnight.

[sighs]

ALICE: What happened to you?

You're back?

I just... missed my bed.

♪

[exhales]

♪

NATHAN JR: So, thanks for coming over, um...

JULIAN: Yeah.

NATHAN JR: I know it's kind of like a weird time.

JULIAN: Thanks for inviting me.

Augh...

NATHAN JR: Yeah, um, and actually,

the reason I asked you to come over was, uh,

because I have something special planned for your birthday.

[quietly] Oh, fuck.

NATHAN JR: And I thought I could give it to you now,

uh, since we're alone.

I told you not to do anything.

Yeah, yeah. Sit.

I call this piece, "Monogamy."

[under her breath] Oh God, no...

[playing saxophone]

[wincing]

[playing saxophone]

NATHAN JR: Julian...

I want to spend every second with you.

I want to watch you wake up every morning.

I want to share everything.

Like, I'd use your toothbrush

and carry your garbage in my pocket.

[under her breath] What?

NATHAN JR: Because it feels like we're one person.

Your garbage is my garbage.

Your skin is my skin.

Let's be buried together in the same casket

and be this close forever!

Okay, NJ, just stop! Please!

I'm just speaking from the heart!

Well, it's weird!

Look...

I'm-- I'm just gonna say it.

I love you.

And I know you want to be in an open relationship,

but I think I can be enough if you just let me try.

No, just stop, okay?

I-I thought you were cool with this!

You can't just trick me into monogamy with your saxophone.

This...

isn't working.

[phone timer going off]

Oh... fuck...

It worked.

It actually worked. It's all gone!

It's all fuckin' gone! [laughing]

NATHAN JR: Hello?!

What the hell?

I can't do this.

No, no, wait, Julian, please!

Hold on!

Julian, please, don't go! Just wait for--

[door closes]

[sighs]

Unbelievable.

What is wrong with you?

Huh?

NATHAN JR: I did exactly what you said to, and guess what?

It backfired!

Oh, hey, I'm-- Look, I'm sorry.

I'm-- I'm so sorry, I just--

NATHAN JR: Thanks a lot!

♪

♪

♪ Give it up, give it up, give it up, that's the way ♪

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