Original subtitles

- Subtitles - Lu�s Filipe Bernardes

All right, go ahead. Next.

Ah, Schwartz, same as last season, in the dining room.

- Yes, sir. Tables 23 to 27 again? - Yes, next.

Danke schoen.

- Martha, you report to the head janitor. - But Herr Krantz!

No, no, you broke too many dishes last season.

Now, I want to remind you all again...

that the Grand Hotel Imperial expects everyone...

...to do his duty and to be a credit to the management.

It is now eleven fifty-nine and a half.

At exactly twelve o'clock, the season will officially open.

The season is now open.

Look, three weeks into the season and it's 82.

No snow, no guests.

Yes, St. Moritz has five feet,

St. Godard has six feet, St. Philippe is snowed in.

In St. Cristophe pansies are blooming.

Well, what are you all gaping at?

Haven't you ever seen a man who had a nervous breakdown?

Don't stand around like that! Haven't you anything else to do?

And you, can't you play something?

Well, didn't you hear me? Play!

Fine way to talk to a lady.

# I have a secret I hide #

# But some day I will confide in my ideal # # That's how I feel #

# My secret love affair # # Is so beyond compare #

# And everybody envies me #

# They know the symptoms of # # A happy heart in love #

# That's why they're jealous of me #

# My secret love affair # # Is with me everywhere #

# Every moment of the day #

# And when the shadows fall # # I'm happy most of all #

# Dreaming the hours away #

# My thrill began at the start #

# Look what it turned out to be #

# I'm keeping it dark # # No one knows but me #

# My secret love affair #

# Is one beyond repair # # Not another one will do #

# And if you feel in doubt #

# I'll let the secret out #

# My secret love is you #

- Bravo! - Quiet!

I'm terribly sorry to bother you, Herr Krantz,

but you see, we haven't a centime left in the house.

Please, Herr Krantz, I also have to buy a new pair of skates.

Perhaps you could give me a little advance until it snows.

Snow? It's snowing!

No, I said if I could have a little money until it snows.

Oh, well until it does, Miss Skating Instructress,

- I wish you'd stop annoying me. - I'm terribly sorry.

Sorry, what have you got to be sorry about?

You haven't lost your mind.

- Herr Krantz. - What is it now?

Long-distance calling.

Hello? Yes, this is the manager.

I wish to make some reservations.

Could you possibly manage to let us have eighty-one rooms and three suites?

Yes, sir... I mean, I think it could be arranged.

Oh, an international conference.

Yes, the signataries of the Three Par Pact.

Naturally, all accomodations must be first class.

Ah, you may rely upon that, sir.

St. Christophe is justly famous for its service.

- Have you snow? - I, um... beg your pardon?

- I didn't quite hear. - I said, have you snow?

Oh... snow.

Of course there's snow in St. Christophe. The finest snow in the Alps, sir.

Yes, yes, sir, excellent skiing, sir. Yes, yes...

Goodbye.

I've done it. They're all coming tomorrow.

Delegates, diplomats, ministers from three nations.

And Prince Rudolph himself.

And I promised them snow.

But Herr Krantz, what if it doesn't snow?

It must snow, do you hear me, it must snow!

- Yes, sir, I'll do my best. - Ah!

Come in!

- Good morning, Herr Dornik. - Oh, you again!

- Where is Lili? - Where do you think she is?

Over at the hotel getting money so I won't have to eat cheese for breakfast.

Can I wait for her, please?

Do anything you like, but do it on the outside.

By the way, you haven't got any money on you, have you?

- Yes, two francs. - You have?

Well, sit right down, Alex, sit right down.

One hand, two francs or nothing, eh?

- How much did you get? - Nothing.

And unless the hotel opens, I'll never get anything.

Well, it's appalling. After all, I am a gentleman.

I can't keep on like this, eating cheese.

Now that I'm old and feeble, I depend on you for everything, Lili.

What's to become of me if the hotel doesn't open?

That's not all the trouble, there's something worse.

Worse? Worse than not having anything to eat?

The manager has accepted a reservation for eighty-one rooms.

- Yes? - And if it doesn't snow by tomorrow,

the hotel is ruined. Then I'd never have a job.

Well, I haven't much, Lili, but all I have is yours.

I got two francs.

You mean you had two francs.

Please make it snow, for my sake.

And for my sake.

And, um... count me in too.

Snow! It's snowing!

Snow! I told you, H�nsel!

Otto! It's snowing!

Snow!

Now you can get your job back at the hotel!

- Goodbye, Mama. - Have a good time, Papa.

Now listen, everybody.

See that no one forgets to address the prince as His Highness.

And don't start to play until I give you the signal, do you understand?

- Yes, sir. - Why don't you look where you're going?

- I beg your pardon, Herr Krantz. - Oh, you would be here.

If I can be of any assistance to you, Herr Krantz.

Yes, you could go home and save the hotel the embarrassment of your presence.

Upstart.

Step back, step back, step back.

- Step back! - I am the hotel manager!

I said step back.

I beg your pardon, I beg your pardon!

Step back!

Easy there, watch that fender.

- Herman! Herman! - Why, Alex!

- How is Mama? - Fine!

Oh, you look beautiful! What are you, a general?

Not quite, but I drive Prince Rudolph's car.

His Royal Highness's car?

What a beautiful car!

Maybe you will some day let me to ride in it.

Sure, cousin, any time.

Permit me, Your Highness,

to express my government's wishes for you most complete recovery.

I don't think, Your Highness, it'll be necessary for me to tell you...

with what a warm feeling the people of my country...

...have always regarded Your Highness.

I hope Your Highness will not forget the traditional friendship of my country.

...in considering our proposal.

I also urge Your Highness to consider the assistance...

...rendered your country by mine in 1891.

Influenza, gentlemen, very contagious, a dreadful disease.

Thank you, gentlemen, thank you, I think I can take care of His Highness now.

- Are they locked? - They are now, sir.

I'm suffocated! Hot!

The Count and the Baron, I thought they'd never go.

A pack of fools. Here, give me a hand with this, Nottingham.

- Yes, sir. - Take that off. Well, tell me.

- How did we do, Nottingham? - Beautifully, sir, beautifully.

Especially the sneeze.

Yes, I think they'll probably spend the rest of the day gargling.

- So you really think it will work, eh? - I'm quite sure of that, sir,

but I'm not quite so sure that our Prime Minister will approve of this method.

The old fox. He hasn't approved of anything I did since I was three.

Oh, by the way,

I want you to send a wire later on to find out how he's feeling.

I'm a little worried about him.

Yes, I hope when he hears of this, he won't have a relapse.

I don't see why he should. After all, I'm only doing what he told me.

He wants me to keep them at each other's throats.

They didn't seem to be particularly affectionate when we left them.

In a few minutes, I think Their Excellencies...

...would have forgotten that they were excellencies.

Let's hope that they continue in the same spirit.

Are we to remain at death's door indefinitely, sir?

Oh, no, no, only until we start to negotiate the Pact.

If we can keep them apart until that time, we're safe.

Yes, sir, but what are you looking for?

My skis, Nottingham, my skis! What have you done with them?

Oh, I left them with the other luggage downstairs, sir.

Oh, get them up right away, will you?

But you don't intend to use them here, sir!

Of course not. But as soon as it's dark, I'm moving out.

What?

Oh, yes, you're moving out, aren't you? Yes, that's lovely.

Oh, what am I going to do now?

- I wouldn't like to be disturbed. - Number 11 is our quietest room.

Well, not bad at all, is it?

Rather chilly, sir, extremely rustic.

That's what I like about it.

If I may say so, sir,

you're choosing the most extraordinary way of making history.

Just between you and me, Nottingham, I don't want to make history.

I'd much rather ski.

When you go out in the village, sir, I do hope you'll be careful.

The place is simply seething with secret servicemen.

Stop worrying. They don't like the fresh air.

But just to make sure,

when you get back to the hotel, you might say that I've developed, um...

Hm... astrobis magrobis.

That's nice... what did you say, sir?

Astrobis magrobis, you know, mumps of the larynx.

Um, y-yes, sir...

- Will that be all, sir? - That'll be all, Nottingham.

- Yes... good night, sir. - Good night.

Astrobis magrobis.

I wonder what His Royal Highness is up to.

He seems to be really ill.

I doubt it. That is much too convenient.

I would give anything to get that boy alone for five minutes.

You idiot, he's not ill, he's just playing a game.

If I could only get to him, I'd wrap him around my little finger, that young fool.

- Is everything to your satisfaction? - Yes!

Thank you, sir.

Here, here, here!

What's the meaning of this? What are you doing here?

Oh, just looking. I'll wait for you outside, Lili.

Don't you know it's after hours?

I know, Herr Krantz, that's why I thought it would be all right to rehearse.

Don't you think I'm improving?

Well, there are one or two suggestions I could make, but, um...

On the whole it isn't bad.

Then why won't you give me a chance to perform for your guests?

Because I told you a thousand times...

I will not tolerate any amateur exhibitions.

And don't bother me about it again!

Oh, look, Seppel, it's the prince's car.

Sure.

Why, Seppel, it's Lili Heiser.

- She's talking to somebody inside. - It's the prince, of course.

Who'd have thought?

- Elsa, Elsa, wake up! - What?

- I just saw the prince! - What?

- He brought Lili Heiser home. - What?

At this time of night too.

Imagine! Our Lili and the prince.

Thanks for the lift.

Oh, look!

I must tell H�nsel.

And then the prince took her in his arms and kissed the girl.

- What? - Yes. I saw it with my own eyes.

Here, here, here, why aren't you attending to your work?

- What's going on here? - Why, Herr Krantz.

- We were just talking over the news. - News, what news?

About the prince.

Now, my good man, you know our rule when speaking of royalty.

Yes, sir, His Highness, I mean.

- Well, last night, he and Lili... - Lili who?

Lili Heiser, the skating teacher.

One of our employees, are you sure?

Well, I saw them myself.

A scandal. An international scandal. And at my hotel.

- Well, I'm sorry. - Sorry?

- Who is it? - The manager of the hotel.

Let me in at once!

- Dornik, open the door. - Dornik is not here.

- Open up, I must see you at once! - I'm sorry, I'm not in.

Don't be a fool, I've got to talk to you.

- What do you want? - I must see Lili at once. Where is she?

Is anything wrong, what has she done?

- Where was she last night? - Where she always is, in bed.

- Yes, but what about the romance? - What romance?

Oh, come, come, we all know, don't try and protect her.

Protect her? Say, what are you insinuating?

I'll have as a rule the name of Dornik is beyond reproach.

You don't understand. I've got to see you about Lili and the prince.

- Prince? Prince who? - Prince Rudolph.

- Prince Rudolph and my Lili? - Yes, I want to come in!

Well, that's different.

Well... why didn't you say so at first?

Enter, Herr Krantz, always glad to see an old friend.

- Hey, what do you think you're doing? - I'm sorry, I didn't mean...

Hey there, you forgot your things!

Aah!

All right, I give up.

- You're awfully hard to catch. - You're too good for me.

- I did my best. - Thanks.

Oh, by the way, do me a favor, will you?

- That depends. - Don't tell anyone you saw me here.

- Why, what have you done? - Done? Why, nothing.

Then why did you run like that?

Oh, well, you see, by nature I'm very shy.

You don't look it.

- Here's your things. - Oh, thank you very much.

And you'd better not leave them lying around again.

Just a moment. Does my nose look funny?

No, not very. What's the matter with it?

Well, I don't seem able to feel it.

Oh, it's frozen.

I'll fix it.

Oh, look out, look out! It's the only nose I've got.

Now just be still, all it needs is circulation.

How does that feel?

Well, it's still there.

Thanks for saving it.

You know, you get a little attached to these noses after you've had them for a few years.

I know. And you ought to take better care of it.

By the way, what are you doing out here so early?

- Just skiing. - Do you mind if we ski together?

All right. If you can make it.

- Well, I made it. - Congratulations.

Oh, nice view you have here.

- It's my favorite spot. - Oh, who's our friend?

Oh, that's St. Christophe, our patron saint.

Do you think he'd mind if we sat here and had a cup of coffee?

Not if it's good coffee.

Well, I can't guarantee it, but it's hot.

- Can I help you? - No, thank you, I can manage.

Here, we can sit on these and it won't be quite so cold.

Can you hold this?

And this.

What's the matter, something wrong?

I was just wondering what you looked like behind that disguise.

Oh, these. I'd forgotten I had them on.

You see, I have to wear them. The glare of the sun on the snow hurts my eyes.

But the snow in St. Christophe never hurts anybody's eyes.

Well, I... don't know whether I should.

Go ahead, don't be afraid.

Well.

- Frighten you? - No.

Well, in that case, a toast to St. Christophe.

Just as I thought, brown eyes.

By the way, what are you doing here?

Like you, skiing.

No, I mean, what are you doing in St. Christophe?

Oh... I'm with the Conference. You know, the Conference?

- Oh, yes, you're one of the reporters. - Yes, that's right, a reporter.

- Staying at the hotel? - No, the Village Inn, it's cheaper.

Ah, now it's my turn. What do you do when you're not skiing?

I'm the skating teacher at the hotel.

- Oh, you skate too. - A little.

Must be a lot of fun watch the guests fall down.

Mu pupils don't fall down... much.

What do you do when the snow's all gone and the hotel's closed?

Wait until it opens again.

Well, now you know everything about me.

It's late and I must go.

- But why? - I'm a working girl.

Here, let me help you.

There we are.

- Will I see you again? - I go skiing every morning.

Oh, just a minute!

What's your name?

Lili Heisen!

Oh... I'm Pr...

I'm Rudy M�ller. Glad to meet you.

Yes, Herr Dornik, I agree with you entirely.

Ah, permit me to be the first to congratulate you.

Oh, Herr Krantz, why?

I mean, thank you.

Lili, my child, at least you might have told me.

We are proud of you, my dear.

You will of course remain with us exclusively.

We are not signing anything yet.

Signing?

I can match any offer, besides, she was my discovery.

Your discovery, but I'm her uncle.

Don't let us argue about details.

Wait a minute, what's happening?

Why, he's trying to bulldoze us into signing a contract.

Contract? Do you mean that you want me to skate?

- Certainly. - Oh, Herr Krantz.

I'll sign anything.

Como, come, Lili, my child, remember who you are.

I beg your pardon.

Good morning, Herr Dornik, can I see Lili?

How dare you come here at a time like this!

- Have you no tact? - But I want to see Lili.

Lili doesn't want to see you now or ever!

- But I'm crazy for her. - Now go!

And ne... Never knock on that door again.

But Herr Dornik.

- Who was that? - The garbage man.

Now then, when will you be able to move?

- Move, where? - Why, the hotel of course.

Remember, I'm not going to take any of those rat traps on the third floor.

Certainly not, certainly not, it's the adjoining suite.

But Uncle, we can't afford it.

Lili, my dear child, you are a mere baby now.

Now, you let your old uncle handle this, will you?

- How long will it take you to pack? - Pack, pack, pack, pack, pack.

Pack? Let's go!

Come, come, Lili, hurry up.

Here we are.

Oh, permit me, Mademoiselle. My deepest admiration.

We, er... we thank you, gentlemen.

Do all these people know I'm going to skate?

Of course, we have raised a gala presentation for tonight.

Tonight? But I haven't any costume, or music.

Don't worry, my dear, I have attended to everything.

Kindly step this way.

Perhaps mademoiselle would be so kind as to receive me...

...when there are less people around?

Your Excellency is quite right, there are too many people around.

But if mademoiselle can spare me a moment later.

Thank you, gentlemen, but please forgive me, I have so much to do.

- Oh, Miss Heiser! - Mademoiselle, hold it a minute, please!

Would you smile, please, mademoiselle?

Oh, pardon me, Baron, please.

If you please, Count.

- And you too, sir. - Quite sure, quite sure, yes.

Smile! Hold it!

Merci, mademoiselle. Will you give me a statement, please?

- May I have an interview, please? - Gentlemen, gentlemen,

you will have your interview later! Come, come, my dear!

Gentlemen, gentlemen!

If there's anything I can do to help you, the name is Dornik, D-O-R...

But tell us about it.

Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to discuss it, you understand?

But I can tell you this, in confidence.

It was love, love at first sight.

You know, Nottingham, I never felt better in my whole life.

This place is doing wonders for me.

- So I gather, sir. - Must be the climate.

It must be.

- What's the matter with you today? - Nothing, sir, nothing at all.

Do you know that this is the only place in the world...

...where the snow doesn't hurt your eyes?

- Amazing. - But what I like about it best is...

...that I do exactly as I please, without anybody sticking their nose in.

Yes, sir.

Nottingham, there is something the matter with you.

Now come on, get it off your chest, what is it?

Your Highness, I've had the honor of being with you since the day you were born.

I've had the honor of holding your hand when you first began to walk.

I even led your pony when you first sat on its rump.

I've served you loyally for twenty-five years.

And now to think that it all should end in the village end of St. Christophe.

End?

Your Highness, I wish to tender my resignation.

But what have I done? I've always tried to be a satisfactory master, haven't I?

- Oh, it's not that, Your Highness. - Well, what is it then?

I don't know how to tell Your Highness.

Your Highness apparently doesn't trust me anymore.

Now, what on earth ever gave you that idea?

Your Highness told me you came here to ski.

- Now I know the real reason. - Real reason? What is that?

That young person, sir. That skating person, sir.

Oh, who told you about her?

Who told me? The whole town's talking about nothing else.

Only I didn't know.

It cut me to the quick.

I am very humiliated, sir.

But I can't understand it, I was sure nobody saw us.

No one would fail to recognize Your Highness's car...

...when you took her home last night.

I took her home? Why, that's absurd, I gave the chauffeur the evening off.

Your Highness still refuses to confide in me.

I tell you I spent the entire evening right in this room.

- In this room? - I never left it for an instant.

Then the whole thing's a monstruous plot.

Everybody believes the story about you and the young lady.

Why, it's causing an international scandal.

- We must deny it immediately! - Deny it, oh, no!

Oh, no, and ruin my reputation?

Oh, I never thought of that.

# I'm Olga from the Volga #

# I'm Olga from the Volga #

# The butter toast # # Of every vodka bar #

# Everywhere I walk about # # You will hear the people shout #

# There goes Olga # # She plays fiddle for the czar #

# Oh. I fiddle for the czar # # I fiddle for the czar #

Ouch.

# In Petrograd in a cabaret # # Who came there to hear me play #

# All the regal ladies # # And their illegal gents #

# The finest of nobility # # And they tipped me royally #

# Here's a million rubles! # # That's exactly thirty cents #

# The czar himself would call around # # Every night at seven #

# Then, hey, hey, I would play #

# A czar fell out of heaven #

# Oh, I would be so happy # # And I would swell in pride #

# For a king can do no wrong # # But! #

# A couple of times he tried #

# Oh, when I see His Highness # # My heart is all aflutter #

# Oh, I get so excited # # Oh, I stammer and I stutter #

# I'm Olg-g-ga from the Volga #

# I'm Olg-g-g from the Volga #

# The p-p... the pride of every # # Vulgar... Volga boatman... #

# I w-want to go to America # # I t-tried so very hard #

# Well I'll give you every... #

# Vulgar boatman # # For the B-B-Brook...

# Brooklyn Navy # # I'm Olga from the Volga #

# I'm Olga from the Volga #

# Oh, I am known both near and far #

# When the queen is not around # # Every night I can be found #

# Playing on my fiddle for the czar # # Eh-hey #

The prince's box is still empty.

Yes, Your Excellency.

- There's no one in it. - Why should he hide?

Is he stupid enough to think we haven't heard?

I'll have a gin... I'll have a ginger beer without ice.

Oui, monsieur.

Come, come, Lili. This is no time for dawdling.

- But Uncle, I'm scared. - Scared?

A Dornik scared?

Have you forgotten the immortal words of Darius Dornik at Waterloo?

"The old guard dies but never surrenders".

- But suppose they don't like me. - What, not like a Dornik?

They wouldn't dare. We have been artists for generations.

Yes, yes, come in.

- The number is ready to start. - Very good, very good.

- I feel as if I'm going to faint. - Faint? Oh, come, come, Lili!

A Dornik never faints.

I always knew our little Lili had talent.

Yes, sir, I taught her everything she knows!

Thank you.

Hi, Rudy!

Well, now we're even.

Come on, give me your hand.

Here we are.

Ah, there.

- You're not hurt, are you? - I'm not sure yet.

You know, as a matter of fact I didn't expect to see you here this morning.

- Why not? - Well, after all that's happened.

- So you know. - Of course, everyone does.

Isn't it marvelous? I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming.

Well, I was a little surprised myself.

I knew you were a clever girl, but I didn't know you were that clever.

So you did see me last night. I looked for you everywhere.

I don't know how you could have missed me. I had a front table.

Well, I was terribly excited.

It all happened so suddenly.

Yes, it must have. Um, tell me.

- Is he as romantic as they say? - What?

Oh, I don't mean to be personal.

About what?

Well, I was a little hurt when I realized...

that you'd only been toying with my affections, but...

of course I know I'm no match for His Highness.

What are you talking about?

You and the prince, of course.

- The prince? - You don't know?

Know what?

Well, um... Lili, the rumors are that you and the prince are, um...

Well, shall we say, very good friends?

Why, that's ridiculous. I don't even know what he looks like.

- Oh, yes you do. - I do not!

Well, it seems strange to me...

that a little girl who's a skating teacher in the morning...

...should suddenly turn into a prima donna overnight.

Only the influence of a prince could do a trick like that.

So that's why everybody has been giving me presents.

That's why I'm staying at the hotel.

What if the prince hears of this?

- I'm sure he'd be delighted. - Well, they won't gossip very long.

I'll put an end to this right now!

They'll be very disappointed.

Ah, good morning, mademoiselle.

I trust His Highness is better today?

I haven't the slightest idea how he is, and what's more, I don't care.

Ah, mademoiselle, lovers' quarrels, they do not last.

Lovers' quarrels? Now look here!

I don't know the prince, I've never even seen him!

- Do you understand? - Oh, quite.

Mademoiselle is the soul of discretion.

- But I'm telling you the truth! - Of course.

But if you should happen to meet a certain high personnage,

would you mind telling him that my country is a true friend of his country, mademoi...

- I beg your pardon. - Good morning.

I didn't know you were interested in ice-skating.

Ah, but I am, profoundly.

Well, by a strange coincidence, so am I.

I hope you won't find the ice too thin.

Good day, dear Baron.

Good day, dear Count.

Yes?

Come in.

Mademoiselle.

How do you do?

I saw the count, and I warn you as a friend...

That he's crazy.

- No, no. No, no but a very dangerous schemer.

I see.

Mademoiselle, I'm a soldier, so I'll be blunt.

I must have your influence with His Highness.

You're wasting your time! I have no influence!

- How much? - You don't seem to understand.

I don't even know the prince.

Whatever the count offered you, I'll double.

Get out of here!

Mademoiselle, my intent was not to offend.

- But the offer still goes. - Get out!

Bless my soul!

Is mademoiselle always like this?

Oh, yes, yes, we Dorniks are a bit temperamental at times.

And we... we bleed easily.

Well... how much did the count pay her?

I beg your pardon?

Well, fifty thousand, a hundred thousand, two hundred thousand?

Oh, well, all right, three hundred thousand.

And don't forget, after this she's working for us.

Quite sure, quite sure, quite sure, quite sure.

Well, it is, um... Well... Well it is, isn't it?

- Yes, it is. Well, good day. - Good day, sir, good day.

Friendly fellow, friendly fellow, excellent young man.

Yes?

Well, this is a surprise!

I simply had to see you.

That sounds serious. Come on, sit down, tell me what it's all about.

I don't know what it is, but either I am crazy or they are.

- Who? - The baron and the count.

They won't believe me.

- They won't? - What are you laughing at?

Oh, Lili, don't you see how funny it is?

- I don't think it's funny? - You don't?

Look, a simple little country girl like you...

...suddenly becomes the center of a terrific international intrigue.

Why, you'll go down in history.

You'll be as famous as Mme. Du Barry, or De Pompadour...

I'm afraid I'm not the type.

Oh, look, Lili, you're not going to let a little thing like this upset you, are you?

- You haven't done anything? - But they keep on giving me presents.

Well, what of it? You didn't ask them for anything, did you?

You told them the truth. If they don't want to believe you, why argue with them?

Rudy, you don't mean I should just go on with it.

- Why not? - Why not? I just couldn't.

Of course you could. You got a chance to skate, didn't you?

- Yes. - That's what you wanted, wasn't it?

- Yes. - Well then!

- Do you really think I... - Well, of course!

But what will happen when the prince finds out?

I wouldn't worry about that.

As a matter of fact, if you can manage to be nice enough to the baron...

...to keep the count upset,

I'm sure His Highness will really fall in love with you.

Oh, I beg your pardon, yes, sir...

Who was that?

That's the man that always walks in at the wrong time.

But he's gone now.

I'll take anything!

I'm sorry, madame, there aren't any rooms available.

- Have you a reservation? - No, but I've come all the way from Norway.

I'm sorry, sir.

But, signore, is there any room in the village, please!

I don't know, signore.

Can you put a cot in the lobby for me, please?

Oh, impossible, monsieur...

Very charming and very delightful.

You see, it all began last spring.

My niece and I were cruising the Mediterranean in my yacht.

- Of course... - Hold it, please!

- Merci, monsieur. - Thank you.

How well I remember that lovely evening in May...

...as we sailed into the beautiful harbor of Capri.

- Would you mind giving me your autograph? - Not at all, not at all!

- There you are. - Oh, thank you.

It's quite all right.

Now let me see, where was I? Oh, yes...

Capri, beautiful Capri.

The scent of roses filled the air.

The moonbeams bathed the whole scene in a silvery glow and there,

under the moon, they met.

Oh... moonlight in Capri!

Oh, yes, yes, yes...

# Olee-ho-lay-hee #

# Olee-ho-lay-hee #

# Olee-ho-lay-hee #

# Hum-hum-hum-hum-hum-hum-hum #

# To look at me you can plainly see #

# That I'm as Swissy as can be #

# Since I met Axel at Gare Salzh�tte # # Them far hills are calling me #

# Yoo-hoo #

# Yoo-hoo #

# My Swiss Hilly Billy # # He rides me silly #

# When he tries to teach me how to ski #

# He tells me to zig #

# But I do a zag #

# My Swiss Hilly Billy # # He drives me silly #

# When he makes a mountain # # Climber out of me #

# He teaches me how #

# But look at me now #

# We were skiing around the mountain # # We were skiing around the mountain #

# With my Axel I was doing all I could #

# Now, from Suzie to Ben Turpin # # He don't know from nothing #

# But he can oh-lee-ooh-ooh so good #

# My Swiss Hilly Billy # # Oh, he drives me silly #

# When he tries to teach me how to ski #

# He tells me to zig #

# But I do a zag #

# Oh, my Axel # # Oh, my Axel #

# I really thought I had him in the bag #

# Now he was zigging, I was zagging #

# Zag and zig and zig and zag #

# And zag zig zig zag #

# I lost him cause I zigged # # When I should have zagged #

- Voil� vos deux martinis. - Et deux champagne cocktails.

Gar�on, s'il vous pla�t.

I'll have a ginger b... I'll have a ginger beer without ice.

Pardon, monsieur, your son he was here.

The other night. Wonderful resemblance.

Bravo! Bravo!

Bravo!

Beautiful, my child, beautiful.

Exquisite!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I don't think it necessary for me to extol...

...the grace and beauty of our lovely guest of honor.

I think that's already been seen and duly appreciated.

However, my dear Fr�ulein Heiser,

my government wishes also to express its esteem and admiration for you.

So permit me to present to you this.

A tiny token...

...of our good will.

Oh, no... I couldn't.

I don't know what to say.

Except, well...

There really is no reason for you to be so kind to me.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

we must certainly not forget the man whose sage advice has guided...

...our lovely Fr�ulein Heiser to the success which she is now enjoying.

It therefore gives me great pleasure, Herr Dornik,

in recognition of these services, to make of you...

...a Cavalier of the Grand Cross of the Black Eagle.

Thank you, my dear Baron.

Thank you.

- Has she convinced him yet? - Not yet.

But the time is ripe. Leave everything in my hands.

Humble people! Peasantry! Come, Lili, come.

Oh, waiter!

Some ginger beer without any ice, please.

Oui, monsieur.

Come in!

Good afternoon, sir.

Oh, hello, what are you doing here, something wrong?

I'm afraid there is, sir. I've just received a telegram from the Prime Minister.

Oh, yes, what have I done now?

Apparently he reads the papers too, sir.

Oh, what do they say?

They've laid you're the greatest lover since Casanova.

- Well, he ought to be proud of that. - I'm afraid he's not, sir.

- Shall I read the telegram? - Yes, do.

"What is the meaning of stories linking you with an ice-skater? Stop."

"Public opinion is outraged. Have you lost your mind? Stop."

"When were you at Capri? Stop."

Signed Ulrich, Prime Minister.

Hm, that's serious.

Never signs himself Prime Minister unless he's really angry.

Shall we answer it, sir?

Oh, yes, send a telegram before he has a stroke.

What shall we say, sir?

Well, just say that there's no danger.

- Yet. - Yet.

Oh, I see, sir. I suppose it runs in the family.

If I remember correctly, sir, with your father it was a toe dancer.

With your grandfather, a bareback rider.

- With your great-grandfather... - Ahem...

Yes, sir... I suppose we've gone as far as we should.

In that event, I don't see that an ice-skater will do much harm.

No, sir.

Ungainly things, aren't they, sir?

Hm, well, here we are.

I hope dinner is ready, I'm starving.

Good, you'll get the finest dinner you ever ate.

I'm winded. What a climb.

- Are you tired? - No, just hungry.

Hello?

That's funny, I wonder where he is.

Don't tell me he asked you to come all the way up here and then didn't show up.

No, he wouldn't do a trick like that.

Hello!

Yes... this is funny.

Anybody home?

Well, I'll go round the back, maybe he's back there.

Look, it's open.

Oh, well, let's go on in, maybe he's asleep.

Rudy!

Rudy, have you ever seen anything like this?

Well, not bad. I wonder where he is, though. He doesn't seem to be around.

Look, it's only set for two.

Well, that's strange.

I distinctly remember telling him that I'd bring you along.

Are you sure you know a man who lives here?

Why, certainly, I've known him all my life.

You must know some strange people.

Well, he is a little eccentric, but he's a very nice fellow.

We're close friends.

Do you think you can remember his name?

Of course I can. It's Nottingham.

Now I know you're joking.

Nobody could have a name like Nottingham.

Perhaps madame would like a table not too near the orchestra?

Right here, perhaps. There we are.

We could start with some, um... petite marmite, hot.

And perhaps some caviar? Nice caviar.

And then madame would like some sole Marjorie? Wonderful!

And then some, um... Ah, squab Maurice. Beautiful!

And then we could top it all off with a bottle of Ch�teau Margaux, 29.

Rudy, you shouldn't have done this.

You know, it's funny how you never get tired of looking into a fire.

What are you thinking about, Lili?

Oh, so many things.

For years nothing happened.

Now, suddenly, my whole world has turned upside down.

My world has always been upside down.

Until I met you.

And now for the first time it seems to be on its feet.

You've given me something, Lili.

A new feeling about everything.

I'm glad, Rudy.

- Lili. - Yes?

You know that I love you, don't you?

Yes.

I think we'd better go.

Yes, I... I think you're right.

- Um, Lili. - Yes?

Did you ever make up your mind to say something to someone and...

Well, when the time came to say it, the...

...the words just wouldn't come out?

Yes, that's happened to me.

Well, what I mean is this.

This evening when we went to the cabin for dinner,

I made up my mind that...

I was going to ask you to marry me.

And I don't know why I didn't.

I wonder why you didn't too.

- You did? - Yes.

Well, come on!

Who is it?

Prime Minister Ulrich! Open the door!

Well, Ulrich, where did you come from?

You young idiot! Put on your coat, you're coming with me!

Now, now, Ulrich, don't get so excited, you know it's bad for you.

Do you think forcing me out of a sickbed is good for me?

Well, you didn't have to.

I suppose I should have stayed home and let you ruin my whole life's work?

- Now, Ulrich... - I sent you here to keep the baron...

...fighting with the count, and what do you do?

Spending your time making love to an ice-skater.

An ice-sk... Get your things, you are coming back with me.

No, I'm not.

As your Prime Minister I order you to leave at once

Not until I get married.

- What? - Yes, I'm going to marry her, Ulrich.

- Today. - An ice-skater!

You can't do it. I'll declare you insane. You must be insane.

Nevertheless, I am going to marry her. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Well, in that case, much as I regret it, I will have to do my duty.

Your Highness!

But I... Hey, Ulrich...

Good morning, Lili, good morning, good morning!

- Good morning, Uncle. - Isn't it a bright and beautiful day?

Wonderful, and I'm so happy.

Ah, my child, you'll be much happier when I tell you...

Out, peasant, out, out, out.

Lili, from now on you've got nothing to worry about.

I have fixed everything.

- What have you fixed? - Your future.

I might even go so far as to say our future.

These winter resort romances are all very nice, but spring is coming.

And then the thaw sets in.

- What are you talking about? - You, Lili, and the prince.

Of course I realize that you know him far better than I do.

But you're young, and trusting, and it is possible...

only possible, mind you,

that His Highness is not the gentleman that he, um...

...undoubtedly is.

- Uncle! - Now, Lili, there is no cause for alarm.

If His Highness has ever entertained the idea that this is only a casual flirtation,

he can think so no longer.

From now on he can't back out.

- What have you done? - Lili, I have hooked him.

This will make you a crown princess.

- You've ruined everything! - But the prince...

The prince, what do I care about the prince? I don't even know him!

- You what? - I've never even seen the man!

- You mean the whole thing is untrue? - Of course it is!

Lili, how could you do a thing like this to me?

How are we going to get out of all this? Why, the baron will murder me.

- What will Rudy think? - Rudy? Rudy who?

- Rudy M�ller, the man I'm engaged to. - Engaged?

Yes! And we were going to be married today at St. Moritz.

- Married? - Oh, I'll never be able to explain this.

- You've spoiled everything! - Lili, Lili, come back here!

- Is Mr. Rudy M�ller in? - He left very suddenly.

- When will he be back? - I don't know.

But from the way it looked, he isn't coming back for a long, long time.

- You mean he heard about it already? - What?

There never was a word of truth in the whole thing.

- I love another man. - Merci, mademoiselle.

Long distance, Berlin.

Hello, Roma.

Hello, long distance, please, Paris.

Hello, give me Tokyo, please.

- What? - What?

She never even met him.

- This whole thing was a fraud! - What whole thing?

About the prince and this girl.

Oh, that's impossible, you say him yourself last night.

- All a fraud, I tell you. - You mean we've been duped?

- Call the police! - Oh, what for?

Well, you're not going to let her get away with this, are you?

Shh!

This whole affair is not as simple as it seems.

Why, it's all perfectly clear, she's nothing but a clever adventuress, that's all.

- Really, and what about the prince? - Oh, what's he got to do with it?

She never even met him, you said so yourself.

Are you trying to put something over on me?

Your Excellency! Now, please, let us think.

Let us think!

Could she have done all this without his knowledge?

What are you getting at?

Could she have pretended so long without his help?

Oh, you're talking in riddles.

On the contrary, it is perfectly clear!

He wanted us to believe it.

- But why? - Don't you see?

In this way he played us against each other while he commited himself to nothing.

- That's dishonest. - Quite.

Now I shall never be able to face the Chancelor.

I shall... I shall have to resign.

Oh, now, come, it is not as bad as that.

Yet, we still have a trump card to play.

Yes?

We can do precisely what he did not want us to do.

- And that is? - Unite.

Together we have him at our mercy.

Your Excellency, that is positively Machiavellious.

I thank you.

Permit me, sir, in the name of my government to reaffirm our traditional friendship.

And now, I suggest we see His Highness at once.

At once!

Pardon!

- After you, my dear Count. - Oh, after you, my dear Baron.

- You! - So you're here!

- Now I understand! - This is one of your tricks.

- Gentlemen! - In the name of our government,

I demand an immediate settlement of the Pact!

I shall have to consult His Highness.

I'm afraid I must ask for time.

Did you think seriously that you could make me believe...

...His Highness was interested in that... that person?

You don't seem to realize, my dear Ulrich,

that your little game is finished!

I don't seem to understand anything.

If you'll excuse me.

Well, what is this? Are you going to let me out of here or not?

Why have you been lying to me about that girl?

- Lying? - You might have told me it isn't true.

- But it is true! - Huh?

Are you really insane, or am I going crazy?

Why, what's happened?

It took me forty years to break their alliance.

And you? You've got them standing out there with their arms around each other.

Well, it's very simple.

Their Excellencies are annoyed because they feel I played a hoax on them.

Well, all we have to do is to prove to them that the story is true.

And how do you propose to do that?

Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to let me marry the girl.

Marry the girl...

Marry the girl.

That's the solution!

Your Highness, you have saved your country.

Please, Lili, we are wasting time, precious time!

No, no, I won't go.

But this is a matter of life and death. You don't know these people.

They won't stop at anything, they'll murder us.

I don't care what they do, I'm going to stay right here and wait for Rudy.

When he learns the truth, I'm sure he will come back.

All right, all right, then I must go by myself into a lonely exile.

- Goodbye, Lili. - Goodbye, Uncle.

Take good care of yourself.

It breaks my heart to leave you here like this,

but I understand, I too was young once.

Goodbye, my little niece.

Bless you.

- I beg your pardon! - Not at all.

Madam, His Highness requests the pleasure of seeing you.

- His Highness? - His Highness!

Madam, His Highness expects to see you now.

- Right now? - Lili!

You mustn't keep His Highness waiting.

All right, I'm ready.

After you, madam.

Rudy!

- Enough for me! - Let's go!

Gentlemen, please!

You didn't go away.

Of course not, darling. Why, I wouldn't leave you for anything in the world.

And further...

- I do not understand this. - I think you do.

- You have betrayed me! - Monsieur!

- If it were not for your stupidity... - This means war.

- Long distance, Berlin. - Hello, Roma!

- Hello, long distance, Paris! - Hello, give me Tokyo, please!

Hello, hello? I say, old chap, they're getting married.

I was so afraid you believed that awful story.

Well, I must admit it sounded very convincing.

You know there's never been anybody but you.

- Are you sure about that? - Of course I am.

Well, that was all I wanted to know.

Wait a minute, Rudy, not here.

Oh, what's the matter with this place?

His Highness might walk in any minute.

What am I going to tell him?

Well, now that is a problem.

Of course we could, um...

No, no, we couldn't do that.

Well, there's one sure way to get around him.

He's always had a weakness for pretty women.

- You're not suggesting... - Well, why not?

All you have to do is walk up to him, throw your arms around him like this...

...and give him a great big kiss.

- Oh, no, I couldn't. - Of course you could.

I can't kiss a man I don't even know.

Well, yes, I think I see what you mean.

But maybe I can help.

You see, we newspapermen get to know everybody.

Oh, Rudy, if you only could.

Well, you wait right here and I'll go put in a good word for you.

And keep your fingers crossed.

His Royal Highness, Prince Rudolph!

Your Highness!

I didn't know.

Well, young lady, what have you to say for yourself?

I don't know what to say, Your Highness, except, um...

Thank you for the beautiful flowers.

But if you had no respect for the dignity of my title,

you might at least have shown some regard for my declining years.

- Look at my gray hair! What will my grandchildren say?

Rudy, this is no time to play jokes.

Young lady, please do not forget that you are still addressing His Royal Highness.

Highness?

You?

Nottingham! Nottingham!

Her Royal Highness just fainted.

So she has. How inconvenient.

Oh, I know, yes, water.

- Subtitles - Lu�s Filipe Bernardes