Original subtitles

"Kondor took a deep breath and blood gushed out of his mouth.

The old man's eyes were pierced open dreadfully

because he knew the end was approaching."

"A green film began to cover his eyes while dead silence filled the air."

You're kidding me, right?

Juditka, do you mind… Thank you.

This is The Little Fox.

-Pardon me? -You copied The Little Fox story,

only this is worse, and you changed all the names.

Right, it does resemble the story a little…

Not a little! That's the story!

Look, my target audience doesn't know The Little Fox.

If anything, they'll remember a little fox in a blanket of fallen leaves.

But as a fantasy, it'll work!

Barna,

I give up.

I'm going to dissolve our contract.

I can't remember the last time you've put something on the table,

and now you bring in The Little Fox.

You can thank me for all this!

That was six years ago. I was more than grateful!

I'm the only well-known face the publishing house even has.

Because after your scandal, you roasted yourself on different TV shows?

No, 'cause I was the one to get a Bradbury Prize, that's why!

Six years ago, when you barged in here with your first fantasy

after I had suggested it, mind you.

Since then, you think you're the Hungarian Tolkien

and this takes up all of your time.

You've forgotten how to write in the meantime.

Tibi, say something already, this is a situation!

A shit by any other name still stinks.

As my manager, that's all you have to say?

Respectively, I still get paid according to our agreement

even if the contract is dissolved by both parties.

You're a real help, Tibi.

All right, sorry. It was a bad idea.

Listen, you've known me for 25 years…

But back then you were a thinker, a person who taught, wrote,

and someone from whom eagerness radiated and not some fool!

You think I don't know?

You think everything is so fucking easy

-for me since… -Barna!

Nothing has interested you for some time now but for things to be easy!

Give me ten days!

Let's put an end to this now.

We'll put an end to things in ten days' time!

It'll go by so quickly that you'll hardly even notice.

I'm sick of the impersonal stuff…

This'll be very personal, disturbingly so.

And I'll bring you the new manuscript and you'll be grateful again.

Okay. Ten days and not a single day more.

In turn, if you could give me an advance…

Get out!

Fine!

Why don't you give up writing?

Read the signs!

You think you broke your arm so you could write again?

My collarbone, not my arm.

Seriously, what do you expect from the success of a single book?

That's not where we are now.

At the top if they make a movie out of it.

On the other hand, I got a pretty good offer.

And it pays well.

What is it?

Celeb-box on the sport channel.

Celeb-box?

You did say they were taking it off tomorrow.

Nonetheless, I'm not going to fight in a ring.

Don't be so negative.

At best, you'll be the sympathetic underdog. They're going to love you.

What are you talking about?

Even if this didn't hurt, my heart would stop while warming up.

I pee three times a night. What would I be doing in the ring?

Well, then, there's also a new survival show

on some tropical fucking island this winter. You know…

where models fuck in bikinis in tents and you have to eat spiders.

But only in the winter. What do you say?

I'm going to write again!

But what in such a short amount of time?

Something personal to make the Royal Dickhead happy.

I almost forgot.

What's this?

A bill, for the ads on the buses.

What ads on buses?

Your cooking show.

When you stirred the burned beets to hell, you in that cute little apron.

Give me a break, I've been dreaming of screaming lobsters ever since.

So you won't be renewing the ad as of next month?

Cancel it!

You're right. Cooking is passé, but that is a decent picture of you!

And think over what I said! Okay, I'll send you some good vibes!

Didn't I take you to the Lukács the other day?

No.

You see?

I knew it!

Anyhow, I don't know why, but I really like your book.

It makes me want to relieve myself!

If you need a ride again, just give me a call, okay?

Okay.

LIL DICK WITH LIL PRICK!

And…

what does an author do when they're not writing or cooking?

An author always writes.

Thousands of stories circulate in their minds. The art is choosing the best ones.

That's what I do, sit drained in the back of a cab

while the charming chauffeur turns back

with a secretive smile.

Jesus, don't you start writing about me now!

I can rest too.

That's when authors drink coffee, for example.

Are you a coffee drinker?

There are certain types that I do.

This is precisely why there are advantages

to the all-inclusive services women chauffeurs offer.

And what about you, may I be so informal?

Have you ever hooked up with a famous person?

Once, with some news guy.

Does that count as a famous person?

I just realized that I may be out of coffee…

Please don't touch that, no, don't!

I don't like when people mess with it.

Okay, you trusted me with your prick with no problems, but I can't touch the statue.

Right, but I had to work for it, and that just grew out of nowhere.

That's tempting.

-If you don't have the time… -Oh, no, I'd love to…

Okay, but I have tons to do, you understand, that…

There's that really dumb joke,

the one about the wizard who does you and then you disappear.

That's why he's a wizard.

And that's funny?

Oh, no, not at all, no, no, no…

That's exactly why I said it because I'm not like that, you know, anyhow.

I just have this deadline and it happens to be the wizard.

We can meet up again at another time, even make something of it,

but let's be realistic, okay?

All right. Let's do that!

But then we still have a bill to take care of here.

Yeah, of course.

Do you remember how much the…?

Fifty-seven thousand, five hundred.

What for?

The ride, the sex and parking fee.

-What sex? -The sex.

-But I… -You know, "all-inclusive services."

-But I seduced you. -Who?

-You. -Me?

Yes, in the car. With my fame and intellect.

Okay, just forget about the sex. It was a misunderstanding.

If you're going to treat me like a prostitute, then pay for it.

Enough already, get the hell out!

Did you seriously think I was going to ask you to marry me or something?

There's a fine line between a wedding proposal and acting like a jerk.

You're really expecting some money right now?

I know where you live, asshole!

That's all I have, 52…

All right, then.

And I'll let the parking fee slide.

A Physical Therapist?

There'll be another!

That would be lovely!

What is it, did I sleep with you too?

You can make a transfer if you like, sir.

That is a ton of money.

Four months utilities plus your portion of the roof restoration fees.

I have nothing to do with the roof, those who live on the top floor should pay.

It was decided at the Homeowners' Association meeting.

Homeowners' Association meeting. They have too much time on their hands!

You could always move out.

Of course, no problem.

Thank you and goodbye.

Sorry for dropping by unannounced.

No worries, but…

You don't have a place to stay at?

Oh, of course I do. No.

I'm going out of town.

What, then? What is it?

Do you have a minute?

Look, I have a lot of work to do at the moment…

Really, I do. It's not an excuse. I'm dying here.

Who's not? Right?

Can I get you something to drink? I only have some water.

That would be fine, but, no, thanks.

-Are you okay? -Uh-huh, totally.

All work and no play. But that's okay. I'm alive.

Again?

Oh, no. It's my collarbone this time.

But, I'm having the stitches removed tomorrow. It's totally fine now.

And you?

Or you guys?

Well…

there's a bunch of stuff.

But I'm fine.

That's why I'm here because

this is a huge opportunity.

What is it?

I won a scholarship.

Linguistics, you know.

It's for two years starting in September, and I only have to go for ten days now

but it's going to be super intensive.

I won't have any spare time. I'm going to Tokyo.

Nice. Congrats.

The only thing is…

little Samu.

He can't come.

I wouldn't drag him there anyways,

I wouldn't have the time, and, well, it would be impossible anyhow.

It's only ten days. No time, really.

Ten days. Of course, it's no problem.

So you're good with it?

Oh, so… go on, then, why not? No worries.

I don't understand.

Well, so Samu would stay here till then, okay?

No! That's completely impossible.

But there's no one else.

That has nothing to do with me.

-It should. -No, it shouldn't!

We decided this was in his best interest. It's what you wanted too.

Have a good trip.

-It was actually your decision. -I don't remember it that way.

Yes, but he needs a dad, Barna!

Find one, then. You're still young,

your life isn't completely fucked up.

That would be you,

and you'll be a good one to him.

No! I'm no dad.

Well, you have a son.

Just because I fathered him doesn't mean I'm his dad.

Oh, my God…

Listen here! What happened didn't only change your life.

I had to postpone two years at university…

Two years? And I can never teach again, let alone set foot on campus.

It's not just the two years, but every single day since, Barna!

And no one forced you nor I to do what we did.

We were adults.

Wham! It happened.

But you have no idea what a joy it is,

and I'd never do it any other way. Not for all of the money in the world.

Fucking great. Well, then, I'd love to, and you can leave now.

I've been on the rack about it. I have no other choice.

I have no intention of relinquishing that scholarship.

There's no way. You can't just walk in and fuck everything up in my life again!

And you could just walk into mine and fuck everything up?

You climbed on top of me. For the love of God, you were all over me!

I looked up to you and you took advantage of the situation!

Okay, that's enough. I don't want to have this conversation! Get out!

I cursed you when you bailed out, but I'm used to it now. In fact…

And Samu is a wonderful and fantastic little guy!

It's opened up all kinds of new dimensions.

Mind your foot, it might get caught.

I know what I'm talking about, believe me.

We decided it would be better for him not to get to know me.

It was a mistake, Barna!

A bigger one even than getting together was in the first place.

You've lost your mind! You're crazy.

Can I come out now?

Come back here, who do you think you are?!

He's already had dinner and doesn't always blow his nose the way he should…

You can't leave him here, come back!

He gets ear infections easily, but I put a couple of drops in for tonight.

His papers are in his wallet. You guys take care!

Do not put the phone down! Don't!

I can't believe this.

You can't stay here!

Don't you have a friend you can visit?

I can't believe this.

I don't know what to do with you. I'll take you somewhere in the morning.

I wet myself.

Why'd you do that?

Then take those off!

Obviously you should put something else on now, right?

You can sleep here.

You can stay in there too if you like.

She really locked you up in a suitcase.

It was my idea.

Why?

Because when I was still in Mommy's belly, we had a Bazsi the Cat,

and she had to smuggle him to Grandma's in a suitcase.

Because she couldn't keep it because of me, you know?

So I thought we could do the same thing.

And what if you'd suffocated?

We drilled a peek hole!

And it can be opened inside and out, it's a real little safe space!

But why? What was the reason your mom gave you for doing all of these weird things?

Because you like weird things, and that you guys would probably yell at each other

and not to be surprised at anything.

And that ten days would go by quickly with you.

Yes.

It'll fucking fly by.

All right, I'm going to bed now! Good night!

Where are you going to sleep?

In my bed. You sleep there.

Night!

Just leave the light on.

Pirates never turn them off.

Good night.

Some pirates have cat eyes. Do you know any like that?

No. Good night.

Mommy said you know a bunch of pirates!

Because writers know everybody and I'm going to be a writer too!

It's all the same to me.

I already know how to write too.

I'm the only one at kindergarten who can plus Ms. Szilvi.

Do you happen to know Ms. Szilvi's phone number?

It's spring break.

So there's no kindergarten either?

Well, obviously!

Bazsi the cat, Ms. Szilvi… anybody else?

-The lights! -Yeah, sorry.

-Dad! -What?

What do you want?

Why aren't you sleeping?

It isn't comfortable.

Of course, it isn't. That's because it's a suitcase.

Your bed looks more like something to sleep in.

Yeah, but it's taken.

What is it now?

Okay, then we'll trade!

But don't leave!

Okay, but we're not sleeping together!

I snore and may roll over and smush you or smother you with a pillow.

What's this monster? It's ugly!

There are no monsters here…

You can't touch that!

Okay, then you can't touch my wolf!

Go to sleep!

You go to bed!

-Watch your tone! -You watch your tone!

-Quiet! -Quiet!

Little prick!

What's that?

Nothing…

just gibberish.

What can I get you in return for going to sleep?

Okay. Think of something and let me know by morning!

Good morning, I need some help ASAP, starting today. You don't, no?

Six years old. I see. For ten days. As of today.

It isn't? I see, thank you.

You're completely booked because of the break.

I'm hungry!

Could you recommend somebody? Anybody.

I'm hungry!

That's too late! Like now!

I'm hungry!

I understand. I see. Can't you see I'm on the phone?

Can't you hear that I'm hungry?

I have to take care of this and then I'll get you something to eat.

Great! Great! I understand, we'll be here! I'll wait! Oh, yes. How much will that be?

What? For such a small kid?

Okay, I do understand that it's ten days, but it won't be like hunting for Orcs.

No, no, no, no! We'll take care of it, we got this, it'll be fine.

Thank you very much. Goodbye!

We have to go see a friend.

Breakfast?

That's all I have.

What is it?

A mermaid's muff.

A what?

It some ocean stuff… it's still alive but

only till you slurp it out of its shell.

That's bisgusting!

It's all I've got

Go get dressed and we'll buy something on the way.

You have pocket money?

Hey, that's my money!

I know it is!

We'll buy breakfast with it. Are you ready yet?

And what about my present?

What present?

Last night you said I could get something.

Yeah. You can ask for something.

I'd like a pirate ship.

Good job.

-Are we going to get one? -I didn't say that.

I said you could ask for something. That's happened.

Congrats. Now let's get out of here.

But that's a lie!

No, that's not a lie, it's a misunderstanding, it happens.

What's up, then? Aren't you hungry anymore?

What's that?

I could only tell you if I were on shrooms.

These spirits are really bummed out.

That, they are. Let's keep going.

-Hello. -Hey.

Sorry about the mess. I thought you weren't coming after all.

You do realize there's a little guy standing behind you?

Yeah, of course.

Okay, that's reassuring.

Just because of that party last night… too bad you couldn't make it.

There was a change of plans. Well, why don't you introduce yourself?

Samu Kesereű.

You guys have the same last name.

He's a good friend and also a writer.

He wrote a really famous story called Casimir the Snake's Adventures.

Casimir the Snake? I know that one by heart!

Yeah, that was a well-written one!

Do you want to meet him?

Uh-huh!

Well, he's here somewhere…

Look for Casimir, why don't you? It's not dangerous, is it?

You shouldn't kiss it.

Casimir!

Sssss-sssss, Casimir!

He's a spitting image of you.

Sure, he is.

He's pretty big already, that little situation happened that long ago?

Casimir!

Listen, I have a deadline.

And they are taking this shit off in the afternoon

so I can finally get down to writing. But I need some time and some quiet for that.

And you're one of my best friends. My very best friend.

-I'm your only friend. -Yes, you are.

Couldn't I leave Samu here to play while I get to work at my place?

I have that lawsuit with my neighbor because Casimir ate his chihuahua.

But Samu isn't a chihuahua.

Casimir!

Yeah, he's a chihuahua.

How long are you going to have him?

Another week or so. That's the deadline too.

How do you know if she's going to be back for him?

Well, why wouldn't she be?

Nobody would leave their own kid like that…

He's gotta be here somewhere.

Casimir!

He's not even purple!

I must be color-blind.

They have to be out in the fresh air a bunch. That's how they tire out.

That's actually not why I came.

Is there any way you can help me pay for the babysitter? They cost a fortune!

Sure thing!

Here's my drug money for the month.

-No, no, I couldn't! -No, no, no, no, no! I'm not an addict.

Thanks, pal!

All right, then, let's get out of here! Say your goodbyes!

Can't we stay longer?

Come on now!

I may take back at least a line's worth…

Yeah, sure thing. It's only natural! See you later, thanks!

Come on, we're leaving!

Goodbye!

There's a little note on the front door

Which says today we're not at home

We're just out wandering about

On a cobblestone road

You're still that same Invincible, reserved guy

Just a leaf in the wind

When it comes to striving for happiness

You'll do anything for those baby blues

Or anyone else for that matter

And we're not going to keep that Under wraps today

Going to love you even more Every single every day

I'd like to have my money!

What for?

We'll call it a dance even

And when it's all over and done with We'll embark on a journey

And start the whole thing over again

Nobody can even catch up to us today

Hey! We never give that much!

Why not?

You'll insult him.

Come on now!

Why didn't you give him anything?

We're on a tight budget!

And if we happen to run into some wind

We'll call it a dance even

We'll embark on a journey And when it's all over and done with

We'll start the whole thing over again

Nobody can even catch up to us today…

I'd like to order the meat-lover's! Have you decided?

I'd like a pizza with pasta on it!

All pizzas are made with tomato paste.

One with pasta on it.

The pizza has a paste on it.

-Do you need more time? -No, no, no we'ill order in just a second.

Could you recommend something for the little guy?

So that you can blame me when he doesn't eat it.

Yeah, not a bad idea. Thank you very much.

What do you say to a ham pizza?

I don't want ham, just a pasta pizza!

All right, we'd like a pizza

that only has tomato paste and cheese on it, is that right?

-And ketchup. -On the side.

-That's all! Thank you. -You won't be needing these, then.

You wanted to leave me at Casimir the Snake's.

Only because I thought you were having such a good time there, all right?

A gift from the chef.

Thank you very much.

Let's not get full on this alone.

How much is three times three?

-Nine. -So what?

What do you mean, so what? For God's sake, you asked. That's how much it is, period.

What is it now?

Nothing. You're boring.

Pardon me, but you're Barna Kesereű, aren't you?!

Can I get a selfie?

You sure that's a good idea, right now?

Sorry about that.

Thank you!

The meat-lover's pizza?

-That's mine. -So this one's Grandpa's.

Enjoy!

Your mother's the grandpa!

Mom said we'd have a bunch of adventures.

Eat.

Hey! What are you doing? Are you normal?

I don't want it!

Then don't eat it, but don't do that!

I asked for a pasta pizza!

So put it on there!

I don't want it either way.

So why'd you squeeze two tons of ketchup on it?

Maybe this kind of behavior works with Mom, but it doesn't with me! Got that?

Mom makes way better pizza!

She's got a secret recipe. Do you have a secret recipe?

I do!

For what?

For hot chocolate. Yes.

Will you make some?

Only if you eat that. So eat it up now!

Then cut it up.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

It's pretty bisgusting.

You want mine?

Uh-huh.

Is that tomato paste?

That it is.

What kind of animal are you?

Something that is about to go extinct.

I'm a meerkat!

That explains a lot.

Wait for me!

I know where we are!

This is Mom's and my favorite street! Good thing you brought me here.

Super, then you guys can come back here together too.

Let's hurry, though. I still have work to do and the doctor's waiting too.

But you like trains too.

Mom told me that you like to come here when you can't think of anything,

because the trains bring you ideas.

We'll wait for three more. Okay? No, four more!

If we leave now, you can ask for some chocolate ice cream.

But can I get some too?

All right, you can. Let's just get going already!

Come on!

Push me a little!

Come on already, Samu!

It's obvious you don't do his laundry.

Many things are obvious with you too. Should I start listing what?

Let's go!

That man's an idiot!

Leave, leave! Get out of here!

-Lemme go! Lemme go! -Won't let you go?!

I want to get off! I wanna get off!

I wanna get off!

Please wait till they call you in, okay?

Dr. Holczer?

-He's ill. -He's out of town.

Ill.

I had an appointment with him for half past, sorry I'm late,

and I should be getting this removed,

but it turns out that the boy's going to need it instead.

All right, let me see it! What's the little one's name?

Samu.

Samu. Come on, Samu. It's all right, relax, it's not going to hurt, okay?

Will you help, Dad?

Samu, let the doctor see it!

I want my mom!

You'll get that chocolate ice cream if he can have a look at it.

I don't want any, I want my mom!

That usually works, actually!

Samu!

That's it!

Has he ever broken anything before?

Samu, have you ever broken anything before?

I want my mom!

Couldn't we get the mom here?

What do you think?

Anybody at all who's a bit more competent?

Just give him a sedative! Or get me one.

All right, then, let's get him an X-ray!

How do they know it's not broken?

The machine showed them.

-Can I take it off? -What do you think?

You play here nicely, carefully, and quietly…

quietly, so that your arm doesn't hurt more.

I'm going write over there.

Can I write too?

Of course.

Here's some paper and a pencil,

there you go!

All done!

DAD SHOOTS AN ARROW

Who's he shooting at?

Well, how should I know? It hasn't been thought up yet!

I hear you… listen, let's both work a little now, okay?

You're already working?

Uh-huh.

It's kind of like you're not doing anything.

But if there's something important, can I tell you?

Only if it's super important, only then.

You can hit the table with the end of your pencil only once and if it's important.

Yes?

Can a dinosaur play the guitar?

No.

Because they're extinct?

Uh-huh.

And what if they hadn't?

They still couldn't.

Then why did they die out?

Listen. I invited a real live lady to come over

and play with you alone. Are you happy?

No.

But that's your present.

And it's a real expensive one too, cotton candy compared to pirate ship.

But until she comes over, please keep yourself busy and don't say a word.

I'd rather have the pirate ship.

All right.

The lady!

I don't want to!

Don't do this! Let go and come on out!

No!

Do you hear me, come out!

No!

All right, then, you're going out like that!

Yes, Mrs. Juhász.

Sir! You know, many things can be heard through the walls…

But, of course, we can't go on living walking on eggshells.

On the other hand, certain boundaries have been overstepped.

He's a… just a child!

If something comes in, please pay your debt,

or I will have to contact the authorities, sir.

Of course, it hasn't been forgotten. It's just…

Was that another lady?

Another one.

Isn't the real live lady coming?

No! Come on now, didn't you hear what the other lady just said?

I can't believe this, put that away!

You said I could do anything I wanted!

Anything, except what you're doing! Put that down!

Don't throw it!

Everything will be better if the lady takes you away for a while!

-No! -Yes!

No! I'd rather have Mom come!

Mom's flown off!

Let's go after her!

Grow some wings first!

I'm not going anywhere! If Mom comes home from Tokyo, she won't find me!

That's not true.

We'll talk to her on the phone and when she comes, you'll be here. Believe me.

Good day, please come in. This is little Samu, he's been expecting you.

I wasn't expecting you, you nasty, bisgusting mermaid's muff!

Let me be! Let me be!

Open up!

He'll calm down a little and then he'll be ready to go.

Let me in! Open up already!

I'll get his things ready!

-Don't bother. -Let me in!

Open the door! Let me in!

Let me in, you…

Why can't you understand that you can't stay here?

-But Mom… -There's no but Mom!

She always said you'd be so nice and kind when you'd have time to be with me!

But all you do is hurt and scream at people!

It's not my fault that she said those things.

It's not my fault she brought you here.

But you wanted this too!

No, Samu. I didn't.

That's not true!

You didn't have time because of all of your writing,

but you couldn't wait for us to have fun together!

I have your letters with me,

we've read them a million times!

What?

I know them by heart.

"I'll be done with my work soon,

and I'll be waiting for you at the station,

we're going to ride the train for a week without a destination!"

Mom read them every night.

And then there's the one about the boat trips and the amusement park.

I've got them all!

I didn't write these.

I don't want you to be my dad!

And I never wanted kids!

We're talking about the same thing.

I'm running away!

Put me down! I want my mom!

When is Mom coming home?

Later.

Now! I want her to read me a story!

When are you coming?

I don't know.

May be later than I'd like to.

What are you talking about?

I'll be there as soon as I can.

As soon as… You come straightaways, Sára!

This isn't working! You lied to him in those letters.

No. I didn't lie to him. I only did what you were incapable of doing for him.

This is a tragedy, seriously.

Switch genres. It's up to you.

Thank you so much, you were a real big help.

I'll just switch genres. Later!

A story?

"A very cunning and slick hunter left for the forest.

It was well known in faraway lands that he never missed a shot.

Not a single wild beast dared to stand up to him.

All the other hunters wanted to be like him

as he was the top of the tops in his craft."

What are you doing just standing around here?

Hey!

Scram! The forest is a dangerous place and is full of wild beasts!

I'm the most dangerous one here!

You'll scram if you know what's good for you!

"And the hunter had a special silver arrow

which he kept for the most dangerous beast of all since no other one would do."

Why wasn't he an ordinary little kid?

No, he was…

he was a werewolf.

What's a werewolf?

A little boy that turns into a wolf

if moonbeams shine on him and then he devours everything in sight.

Even spinach?

Everything but spinach.

Did he eat the hunter too?

Well…

"The hunter sent for help so that more people could take on the beast.

But only when the sun would rise again."

Dad!

Dad!

What is it, what are you doing?

I wet myself.

I don't care.

My couch. I can't believe this!

Seriously, what's so hard about doing it in the toilet?

The hole.

The toilet hole?

What if somebody lives in there?

I wouldn't want to trade places with them.

Go take off what's wet! Let's go.

Don't sit down!

Are we going to get rid of the couch too?

It's a lot easier than you think it is!

You take out your… what do you call it?

-My Willy Worm? -That.

Mr. Weenie.

That. You take him out, aim right in there, that's it, no biggie.

I don't get what's so difficult…

Come on, you can sleep here.

Are you sleeping?

Come on…

I'm thirsty.

You just wet yourself,

you don't really think I'm going to give you something to drink now, do you?

Do you have any apple juice?

And some chocolate ice cream,

-and that about does it. -Yeah, yeah.

Will you go on with the wolf story?

-Not now. -Why not?

Because I haven't had any coffee.

It's a miracle that I can speak at all.

Please! Pretty please!

PLEASE!

Hush, there are some normal people in here!

The story?

"Beyond the little piglet with a huge curly tail's rummaging,

not a single footprint remained dry as for the heavy rain.

Our protagonist was strolling about without hope

and cursed from the moment he left for the journey

without a sip of morning coffee or an umbrella.

In order to find the boy, he needed an unexpected twist of fate."

Who are you?

A mushroom hunter! Certified!

Leave the forest at once!

Right now? This is mushroom paradise!

Beware of a wolf.

Only animal hunters can be here.

The others will be here in a minute.

-I'm not afraid of wolves. -You'd be afraid of this one.

Have you seen a boy around here?

I have to find him in daylight.

Bear.

-Bear? -Uh-huh.

What eats a bear?

But why was there a scuba diver in the forest?

The sea was too full.

Did he slay the boy in the end?

He thought about it.

But something came up.

Where did you get this?

It's mine. A keepsake from my mother.

You need to escape!

Watch over him, please! Get out of the forest, it's the only way.

Quickly, that way! I'll try to hold up the others.

This is how the hunter became the wolf's hunter.

What?

The hunter became a traitor in the eyes of the others

because he tried to save the boy.

What's a traitor?

Just browning it a little.

What does traitor mean?

Bring me my phone from the other room, quickly!

Thanks!

What are you doing?

Are you normal?

I can't believe this, seriously!

Have you lost it?

Are you still interested in what a traitor is?

A traitor is somebody who'll be a friend, a confidante

but the truth is they're only doing it to get something out of it,

to use them for another reason.

So, now you can eat!

I'm not sure my system can handle this soup.

That's what you ate this morning too.

And that's what I want now too.

-Finally! -Hello!

I haven't been able to get a hold of you for a while now.

So, I see you've recovered! Good…

Careful!

-Is the writing coming along? -Slowly but surely.

I came up with a new story.

The main character is a kid, everything, and everyone around him dies.

Sorry to say, but for that you could have taken on some boxing.

You have nothing to do with kids.

You haven't even seen one up close.

Warning! Warning! I have to poop.

Who's that?

Who?

Yeah… The neighbor.

The neighbor's kid.

Dad!

He called you dad!

Just for fun.

I'm done!

You… you managed to get a kid to write?

Exactly.

This one's a bit of an underachiever, the perfect material.

I'll write what I want and then I'll give him back.

And this… will work?

Absolutely!

The point is for us to have some adventures together. That's inspiring!

-Adventures?! -Uh-huh.

All right, you know what you're doing.

Just don't forget about your deadline!

You didn't come!

You're a big boy! And big boys wipe by themselves, don't they?

You're running away again?

Take a raincoat!

And your wolf?

Oh, it's going to be awful, finally being able to work in peace and quiet.

Here you go, puzzle!

You mother--

What did you do? I'm going to kill you!

Come out! Come out! Let go or I'll slap you!

Come out of there!

Who do you think you are?

You've ruined my PC…

Where is happiness?

Tell me how much longer I have to wait

Happiness!

My heart yearns for it…

Happiness!

I'll be looking for it as long as I live!

You gave them all of my money.

Yes, and you still owe me some.

Why?

Because you threw my laptop down on the floor, that's why.

-Let me be! -No!

Put me down already!

Let me be!

Let…

OK-OK-OK!

Were you guys just playing again?

We were looking at cars.

It's all right,

it'll be better soon, don't you worry.

What's that?

Nothing.

Selective waste.

Who's that lady?

Uhhh.

She's a…

Patricia.

Hello.

-A surprise? -I'd say!

Is she here to entertain me?

Perhaps when you're a bit older.

Patricia was about to leave, that's why she was in the dark.

Yeah, yes, right!

Yes.

Are you going to a costume party? Is that why you're dressed like a panther?

Yeah, yeah.

But you don't have a tail. Shall we make her one?

No, she's going to have to go without.

-How'd you get in? -Well, the way I always do.

-We'd agreed on today. -Didn't I cancel?

Do I look like you did?!

Thanks.

-Do you have to leave already? -Unfortunately.

She'll be late for the costume contest.

-I bet she's the winning number. -Yes…

Won't you stay for a story?

Next time, okay?

No panther has ever told me a story before.

It was a real surprise, Dad!

This is the type of thing I was expecting all along.

This is a short one. You can start now.

"There once was a Turk named Mehemet

who'd never ever seen a cow, albeit.

Mehemet could not depict what they were like, I admit.

Then one day Mehemet saw a bunch of cows…"

Keep going!

"I am Mehemet! We are the cows, gosh darn it!"

He fell asleep.

Thank you. I'm very grateful.

You have a kid?

Well, that's a matter of perspective.

Well, good night, Daddy-o.

Hey, won't you spend the night?

Never mind…

We were like a real family there for a minute.

Up yours!

Shh… quiet!

Why are you still up?

Nothing, I'm working.

And you?

Nothing, I wet myself.

Super.

Take off your wet…

Relax, I already threw them away.

What are you writing?

Our story.

Aren't the panther lady's boobies going to freeze off?

This will hold you over all day long.

Are we going to continue the story?

Eat up first!

Whatever I do, that's what I get…

Here's the cure.

You know, there was some danger lurking in the hunter's shadows too…

These footprints are a few hours old.

How could you think they were fresh tracks?

I don't know.

I made a mistake.

Did you forget this too?

Your wife was killed and now you've let them go?

We took an oath, not to rest until we get the very last one.

It was a mistake, we made a mistake!

Time to leave!

I can't breathe, I'm struggling for air.

I don't like this one! The hooded figures are lame!

It should be…

So?

That doesn't make any sense!

-Why not? -It's not dangerous!

What kind of trash guy?

The common utilities!

I'd rather not make any references to Mrs. Juhász in any way, shape or form.

All right, how about a green eel, then?!

I have an even better idea!

The scent of the sea…

But why does she change into a fish?

That's how mermaid's are.

Half human and half fish.

If they come into contact with water, that's it.

So, her muff is in the fridge?

Well…

Who could that be?

Barna Kesereű!

We know you're home. Open up, please!

What do we now?

-Can you hear me?! -Shh!

What you've always wanted to do.

Mr. Kesereű, open up!

-We'll come back every day if necessary… -Leave through the door!

You do realize…?!

Come on, quick!

Hold on to my arm!

I don't want to! I don't want to!

Nothing's going to happen, I'll follow you!

Ouch!

You can stand on it, right? Come on!

So the meeting isn't today, is it?

I guess I messed up the days, sorry about that!

Come on!

It hurts, I don't want to!

"The hunter was already on his way when, he got to the boy and the scuba diver,

and they escaped to west together, where it was easier to get out of the forest.

And due to the medal,

it was obvious to him from the first moment that the boy was his own son,

but he had been unaware of his existence because

the boy's mother was already hiding in the woods then."

But why had she been hiding?

Because she'd already been bitten,

and she knew what she'd become when she changed.

She didn't want to hurt anyone,

so she went to hide in the forest.

And so the boy was born there?

I'll tell you at home.

-We're all done. -Great!

So we can go now?

Perhaps it would be more practical to stay.

Then you wouldn't have to drop in daily.

Yeah, we'll consider that.

Say goodbye to the doctor, please!

Bye!

Bye!

-Sir! -Yeah?

That's a real live little boy there made out of flesh and blood.

For now.

Thank you!

All right, let's go!

Are we going to go home so you can continue?

We still have something to do.

It might be better not to keep it under the rug!

Okay, let's put it over there!

All right!

One, two, three!

That's where it belongs!

So, should I send it?

It's done!

"When I read it, I wanted to be your son and thought to myself

too bad you don't have one. Will you adopt me?"

I can't believe the Royal Dickhead said that.

Read it out loud one more time!

Listen!

"When I read it, I wanted to be be your son

and thought to myself too bad you don't have one.

Will you adopt me?"

Hello! It's still cold!

You guys don't know each other yet!

Pal, this is Patrícia!

-Hello! -Gimme that!

-Hey panther! -Hello!

Did you win the contest?

Yeah, no, I came on third…

Ouch!

Let me see,

it's nothing serious!

It doesn't hurt!

See that's why you shouldn't drink any alcohol.

Come and let's quickly wash off the blood! Come into the bathroom!

They're here again!

Pretend to be a pair of lovebirds.

Quick-quick!

Sit over there next to him and take some clothes off! Quick-quick…

take it off, don't look at me like that…

That's it!

You guys are hanging out here a week till I get home.

I'll have the money by then too.

Wouldn't it be better if I just gave you another loan?

It would.

Barna Kesereű?

Child Services?

We were notified about a possible sighting of a missing child here at your place.

Perhaps that's unbelievable to you, but it's truly a small triumph!

So you're not going to throw me off the terrace now, right?

Tell me, sweetie,

is this man your daddy?

"Only because he fathered me doesn't mean he's my dad."

He's a bit cheeky.

Do you have his papers?

Of course. Sure thing.

They should be here in his wallet…

Samu, do you know where your papers are?

They should be here somewhere!

Would you be so kind as to accompany us along with the boy?

Of course…

We'll lock up.

Okay.

Come on, Samu, come!

The red light's on.

Doesn't that mean something's off?

The electricity's running,

-but it should be working… -Okay, okay, I can see you!

So, please begin once again!

As I already mentioned, she's the one who brought the kid in a suitcase.

In a suitcase?

And then she bailed for Tokyo.

And what does that mean exactly?

Tokyo. It's a Japanese city, although we pronounce it differently, you know.

And why did she go there?

I don't know, because things aren't good enough here.

She won a scholarship, that's all.

How often do you speak to one another?

We've spoken to her once or twice since.

Look, the kid and I are doing fine.

Okay, so I had a bit to drink today, but it happens.

But he didn't notice a thing.

Save the situation with that injury on the brow,

but he just laughed when it happened…

And what about his arm, leg, and chin injuries?

He's a little boy, you know, things happen.

And what about the orgy? Is that okay too?

Orgy?

If having champagne with a friend and his fiancé is an orgy,

I wouldn't want to be in your wife's shoes.

I mean, you seem nice and all, but,

well, that was no orgy. I beg your pardon.

The boy stays.

We'll notify you as soon as we can.

Goodbye!

What? I'm not leaving my son here.

He'll be safe here. Not like before.

No, there's no need for any of this. I'm taking him home.

When we went to your place, you were drunk

and the boy made some strange remarks.

He's a kid and that's what kids do. They say strange things.

Look,

you couldn't prove that you're the child's dad.

No! I need him!

Why?

Because I can't…

…write without him.

You'll hear from us soon!

Oh, for the love of…

Did you bring it?

He's up there where the light is on!

Hold this!

What are you doing?

Barna, your arm just healed!

I'm just going to give it to him. No biggie.

Have you lost it? Just give it to the door attendant and let's go!

He can't sleep without it!

Of course he can!

He always sleeps with it. I have to get it to him!

I won't push him if he ends up in a wheelchair, that's for damn sure.

Will you call an ambulance?

A taxi! That's faster!

We'll wait here just in case they end up taking him somewhere else!

Professor!

I've looked into you, Kesereű!

For fuck's sake, you have some gall!

It's even more complicated than you think,

but I'd rather not get into it at the moment.

I'd like to ask for the money up front this time, Professor!

It was here in my pocket the entire time… I don't believe this!

And you're right, I was a total jerk.

I'm sorry!

Dad!

Take me home!

Ahhh…

What happened?

It's nothing, just a little accident!

Promise that you won't leave me alone again till Mom comes home!

I do.

You promise?

I promise.

You promise-promise or you're just saying?

I promise-promise.

The exact time is five after seven.

Frankly speaking, I have no idea what the two of you are up to…

You need to come back in a week for a checkup.

I can't be like this for another week.

Well, you do have enough training to know that you have no choice in the matter.

I have to finish my book.

How are your teeth?

Why?

Write with your mouth.

Luckily, someone around here is so witty.

You'll tell me,

and I'll write it.

Good luck with that!

No, no, no, no, no, erase that!

One, two, and an "e" again.

Here's a "the"!

That's it!

More!

Not "ruf," it's "roof"!

Voilà, the secret recipe hot chocolate!

Here you are!

I'll see who that is!

Hi!

This is Feri!

Hi there, Feri!

Feri is an old friend,

but more importantly, the best in the business.

Yes? And in what line of work?

Guarding and protecting.

Hot chocolate?

Please have a seat, make yourself at home!

I found someone who's seriously interested in your book.

A film producer.

They would turn it into a film.

How do I look?

Fine.

They would film it in English, but there's talk of a Chinese and Indian remake.

A real movie, which is pretty good, I say.

You're kidding, right?

Why the fuck are you standing here like that?! Throw something on!

Can't you see…

That's why I brought him along. He's going to watch the kid.

But why him?

Because my granny couldn't. Come on, step on it!

Dad, you're not leaving me here?! I'm going!

So, Kesereű and son, what do you say?

It's a serious meeting with VIPs about serious amounts of money.

Can't we go tomorrow?

No. The time is now.

If we put this off, then we'll have to chase it later and for God knows how long.

This would be really important for Dad!

You promised you'd never leave me alone again.

I did, but you won't be alone.

You don't need to worry 'cause the world's strongest man will be here with you!

You're a traitor!

I'll be back soon!

So you'll change in the car! An artist can be disheveled.

How about some arm wrestling?

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! Stop rolling! Stop rolling!

Nah, nah, nah.

Look, you can't just use your hands like that!

Why not?

Because a giant tarantula bit your green hands off in the last scene.

Do you really think they are going to remember that?

They don't need to because they're going to see that you have no hands.

Fuck.

No worries, no worries, no worries.

We'll do another take. We'll do another take.

Let's take it from the top!

The producer is the older guy, he's the one I spoke to.

Happy you could make it!

Hello, sir!

I'm Pál Kis-Peremi. This is my friend and producer, Ian Chicago.

Ian Chicago?

You see Imi, that's what I was telling you. You can't forget a name like that.

Imi was a bit wary of a having a name like that.

Yeah. I really enjoyed your book by the way, truly, "from heart to heart."

Thank you.

The way you leave the ending open, wow, it's like, "Boom!"

You leave the reader sitting there just blinking…

Well, truth be told… it's not finished yet.

That's what I'm saying.

So it could stay as it is, right?

So, how does it end, then?

It hisses.

That's the same thing.

You can't read.

One more round?

I'll read then.

"He hisses into Casimir's ear…"

The end is recognizing the things one does give up when becoming a parent

which are just a small fraction of the happiness

that a child brings into your life in return.

That's nice.

That's going to be such a cut that they'll use it to teach in the end.

Your son can be proud of you.

We're all proud of you, Barna.

Just a moment if you don't mind…

Where is he?

I was just telling him a story,

he couldn't have left, I locked him in!

Sorry for calling on you at such a later hour?

My son didn't happen to fall into the garden recently, did he?

-You have a son? -Of course, I do.

Poor kid.

They don't really run at this hour. Max a cargo or two.

Should we wait for those then?

I don't talk to traitors.

You're right.

Please forgive me.

I don't believe you!

You lie all the time, about pirate ships and this too.

I'm not apologizing about leaving you tonight.

But for not being with you till now.

I didn't know

who you'd grown into,

who you are, how wonderful you truly are and…

All right, you can drive me up the wall like no other…

save your mom…

but do you know why that is?

Why is that?

Because you guys are important.

Mom too?

You know…

I got you at the last minute from her.

I couldn't process that for a long time.

Will you forgive me?

I'll think about it.

Okay.

-That's it? -Uh-huh.

-You've already forgiven me? -Uh-huh.

Let's go.

Wandering off like that at night

you need some serious bravery to do stuff like that.

Why?

Well… what do I know, weren't you worried that the wind would get you?

It only takes hold of the little ones and anyhow, I'm a big boy.

Well, that is true.

It's your mom!

-Hey! -Hi!

Is it a bad time, are you guys at home?

Of course, here at home, at home, yes.

I'll be there to get Samu tomorrow, okay?

You can come for him, sure.

-Do you want to talk to him? -Yes, please.

Here he is, here.

It's your mom.

Well…

-Hello, my love! -Hi, Mom!

-How are you doing? Tell me! -The ten days really did fly by!

You see? How's your hand, is it better?

It doesn't even hurt. Dad's hurts.

I miss you so much, I'll come as fast as I can!

I didn't get that pirate's ship, but…

I have an idea! I'm already in my PJs,

so let's get to bed quickly so we can meet faster! Kisses.

Bye, Mom! I send you kisses too!

Love you!

Did you talk everything over?

Please tell Mom the Kesereű hot chocolate recipe!

Well, just put a banana in it.

That's the secret? That's not such a big deal.

Secrets usually aren't.

It's going to be so boring with Mom.

And anyway, we have to finish the story.

I've already figured it out.

"The hunter could catch up to his crew,

but the forest had already been surrounded by the beaters.

They couldn't put up a fight because they were outnumbered."

We'll never get out!

We'll be stronger soon!

"He knew exactly what his son was up to

as well as that there was no good way to get out of it.

So he took their fate into his own hands because one of them had to remain.

He knew that many adventures were still waiting for him."

The clan is complete!

"The boy would never forget what he had seen.

Bitter sadness took over his entire being

and with every single footstep, the knowledge

that he would remain alone took its toll."

I won't write this down for you…

You don't have to.

You truly are a bad writer!

That's what they say.

Luckily, Mom's coming to get me tomorrow.

You're old and no one loves you anyway!

I agree.

And everything was bisgusting with you anyhow!

It's disgusting, by the way.

That doesn't make any sense!

She's here.

Leave me alone, I hate you!

Mom'll read it to you.

Is this a real "you wrote it" kind of letter?

If it's in a train envelope, then it must be.

You ready to go?

Uh-huh, but I haven't gone pee yet.

Do I have to leave the plant here?

Yes.

I'll use the bathroom, then.

-Mom! -Oh, my love! Hi!

So?

Guess what! I met Casimir the Snake and he wasn't even purple!

Hurry up and get your stuff! You'll tell me all about it when we get home.

You're not well?!

I wasn't in Tokyo but… at a treatment.

That's why I wanted you two to meet.

Who knows how things will turn out?

-Mom! -Yes?

Dad threw out a bunch of my clothes, so I won't be packing those, okay?

Well, you would have outgrown them anyhow.

I'll be needing your help more regularly!

And…

What is it?

Well… it's been hiding in there for a while.

That's also why I told him so much about you. Not that you deserved it.

I was a coward. I have no excuse.

Maybe there's a chance with Samu.

If I could do it all over…

Unfortunately, this isn't a novel that you can just rewrite whenever you want to.

Look at how strong I am!

Say goodbye to your dad.

See you soon.

When?

Maybe tomorrow.

Sorry, I forgot.

I'll get the gate!

Thanks for everything.

Maybe there will be a happy end.

My dear friend!

Should I put it lower?

Don't bother, Juditka!

What was so urgent?

I'm going to rewrite the ending.

Come on! It's terribly sad.

But it will be much better!

The woman doesn't get in a plane crash when getting in from Tokyo.

She comes back. They get back together and raise the kid together.

Why would they raise them together?

Because I want them to.

I'm going to throw up, don't lose it now.

You accidentally write something good and then you want to go and fuck it up?

You're fired.

But…?

Listen here.

I get them to open doors for you all day long,

get you work, money and even help you write, and now I'm fired?

In what writing?

Why? Who do you think got the police involved?

You were the one who placed a complaint?

You said you needed a twist in the story, so I gave you one.

There you go, celeb-box.

And the story will have a happy ending. Who opposes that?

Yours is always the last say in creative decisions.

Okay!

And I accidentally took this the last time I was here. Sorry!

-How about a chocolate break? -What?

So that I feel like trucking on.

Later, after lunch!

Fudge!

This looks like a nice spot to rest up a little.

Mom read your book.

She said you'd never written anything that well before.

Oh, that's nice!

Only, too bad the woman comes back at the end. It's a bit cheesy because of that.

And what did she say about us having hot chocolate together sometime?

That you can suck it!

-In those exact words? -Uh-huh.

But she said it with a smile.

All right, not bad!

The fact that she smiled is not a bad start.

Why?

You know, if you can get a girl to smile, then,

oh, you'll see!

Is ice cream the lunch?

What did you think?

I thought we were having some vegetable stew.

Here you are.

Translation by Miriam Grunwald Farkas