Original subtitles

NARRATOR: The Adventures of Superman.

Faster than a speeding bullet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound.

MAN: Look! Up in the sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane! MAN 3: It's Superman!

NARRATOR: Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor from another planet

who came to Earth with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers,

bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and the American way.

[���]

Look in the file case, Jim.

All he usually keeps in there is his lunch.

[SHUFFLING PAPERS]

Honestly, you'd think he'd file his coffee

before he went chasing off someplace.

[RINGS]

Hello?

No, this is Lois.

I don't know where Clark is.

Okay, just a minute.

Go ahead.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Miss Lane, do you feel all right?

Oh, fine.

Except this is the craziest thing yet.

Then let's forget about it.

We'd get into enough trouble under normal circumstances.

Oh, this couldn't get us into any trouble.

That's what I've said a lot of times,

and then 10 minutes later, Superman has to snatch me

from in front of a truck.

But this might lead to a story.

You know that flagpole sitter up on top of the Acme building?

Sure. He's been there 103 days.

Well, it's evidently affecting his mind.

He keeps screaming that he's hanging upside-down.

JIMMY: This I have to see.

I hope we get there before he falls.

He can't really be upside-down.

Can he?

[���]

Help! Help!

I'm falling!

Get me a parachute! I'm falling.

Ah! Oh!

Here, here, take it easy.

Get ahold of yourself, man, you're all right.

[STAMMERS]

Not to you. Everything is all right to you.

You're Superman. You could hang in any direction,

you won't mind.

Would you mind telling me what you're talking about?

Look-a! Down there. Everything's upside-down.

I'm upside-down. I'm falling!

Oh, wait, wait. Look, I'll prove to you you're all right.

Let go.

Let go?

That's right, let go.

I'm here to catch you if anything should go wrong.

Ah, well. We all have to go sometime.

One, two,

two and a half, three!

There we go.

Oh! Everything is all right.

Everything is all-- Everything's right side up.

Oh.

If I were you, I'd climb down and abandon this whole project.

Oh, no, no. I couldn't do that. I'm gonna break the record.

I'm gonna stay here.

Well, I can't force you.

Good luck.

[���]

Hey, Clark, you missed it.

I did? What?

The flagpole sitter on top of the Acme building

thought he was upside-down, and Superman--

I know, I know, Jim. As a matter of fact,

here's the completed story for you, right there.

But you weren't even in the office

when I got the call.

That's right, Lois, I wasn't.

I wasn't even in the building.

That's why I happened to be in the vicinity

when Superman landed atop that flagpole.

I don't know how he does it.

One of these days, Mr. Kent.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Come in.

Well, Professor Pepperwinkle.

How nice to see you, sir.

Well, I'm certainly glad you remember me.

Why, you're everybody's favorite professor.

Uh, would you help me-- Put this--

Oh, sure, sure. On the desk...

Jeepers, you're not in the traveling salesman business,

are you?

No, Jimmy, it looks to me

like our professor has been inventing again.

I'm afraid so, Mr. Kent.

And I need the advice of a friend.

Oh, you do? Well, let's see,

last time it was a swimming pool without water

for people who couldn't swim.

Now, what is it this time?

I call it the anti-magneto gravitational register.

I've experimented on myself with great success.

But, um, what does it do?

Actually, it produces waves which have a strange effect

on the human inner ear.

Oh, you mean the balancing mechanism,

like the semicircular canals?

Exactly.

It took me three years to invent this,

and I don't have the slightest idea what it's good for.

Oh, maybe if you, uh, gave us a demonstration,

we might come up with a suggestion.

Oh, yes, that would be nice.

Uh, I'll show you how it works.

Now, you see that marble?

Jeepers, a science fiction pinball machine.

Oh, not, uh, not quite, uh, Jimmy. That marble

has secret chemical properties.

Now I'll show you how it works.

[BEEPING]

[WHIRRING]

Now, watch what happens when I send the marble on its way.

Help! I'm upside-down!

Everything's upside-down!

I'm falling, but I'm not landing anywhere...

Of course, it's merely a psychological effect

induced through the nervous system.

Professor, I think you'd better turn us around again.

Well, that's one of the problems.

I haven't quite perfected the reverse mechanism.

JIMMY & LOIS: What?!

Oh, it-- It works eventually, all right.

Now, let's see...

Kent, I wa--

Ah! Ah!

Hey, Rube.

Hey, Rube!

Don't get so excited. You'll get used to it.

There, that should do it.

[WHIRRING]

You can let go now, old boy.

Wh-what happened?

Well, my friend, Professor Pepperwinkle,

was just demonstrating his latest invention.

Professor Pepperwinkle.

But I was standi'' on my head.

I mean, my feet.

Only my head was where my feet shoulda been.

CLARK: Yes, it did seem like that, didn't it?

Uh, now, what did you want to see me about?

Nothin'. Nothin' at all.

Just me l-- Just lemme get outta this crazy place.

Well, now, did you get any ideas?

What do you think I should do with it?

There's a fire axe down the hall. I'll go and get it.

Now, wait a minute, Jimmy.

You can't just smash up

three years' work like that.

Professor, what ever possessed you to spend all that time

inventing a machine to turn people upside-down?

Oh, I wanted to be the first.

Professor, were you experimenting

anywhere in the vicinity of the Acme building today?

Why, yes, I was.

I directed the machine straight up, uh,

where no one would be affected.

Clark, the flagpole sitter.

I don't understand.

Oh, never mind, professor.

I suggest you take your gadget home, and don't use it again,

until you let us think about it again.

Well, all right, Mr. Kent.

[BEEPING STOPS]

Well, I-I hope I haven't troubled you nice people.

Professor, we enjoyed every nerve-racking moment of it.

[���]

Hey, Carny, what's the matter?

You look like you been through a spook house,

and the spooks was real.

Yeah, I feel worse than I look.

We was upside-down, all of us.

Hangin' there by our toes.

What are you talkin' about? Are you crazy or something?

Yeah, I'm crazy. I've been to a nut house.

The Daily Planet.

What? The newspaper?

Yeah. You know them articles

they been writing about crooked carnivals?

And I went there to warn 'em to lay off.

What do they expect us to do, run legitimate?

We gotta leave that to the honest carnival operators.

Anyway, the minute I walked in the door,

there I was, walki'' on the ceiling.

Maybe you been out in the sun too long, huh, Carny?

All right, wise guy, it should happen to you, once.

But, boss, it ain't possible.

It ain't, huh? This guy's got a machine, see.

It works with a marble!

Marbles, huh? Are you sure you got all of yours?

I tell you, it's the truth.

Hey, just think, if there really was a gimmick like that,

what we could do with it.

Like what? Like what?!

Like, for instance, we been trying to plan a bank job

for a long time, right?

Yeah.

So we walk into a bank, police, people, everything.

And bingo, we flip the joint upside-down.

In the panic, we steal everything and beat it.

Yoyo, ya got it.

I'm surprised my own brain didn't think of that.

Yeah, I think your brain is suffering from acute attusions,

because there ain't no such machine.

There ain't, huh?

What was it now...

Prof-- Professor Pepperwinkle.

That's it!

You wait here. I gotta make a phone call.

Hello?

Uh, Professor Pepperwinkle, this is Cornelius J. Oliver.

Uh, never mind that.

I know about that machine of yours.

Oh, sure, but I know a way to use it.

Oh, n-not on the telephone.

I tell you what.

You bring all your junk to the carnival at 6th and Elm.

Ask for me, and I'll lay it all out for ya then.

Swell, uh, but, professor, kinda keep it quiet

till we make a deal, okay?

Eh.

Oh, Clark, I just talked to the professor on the phone.

He's got some wonderful news.

Hm. Not another invention, I hope.

Same invention, but somebody wants to buy it from him.

What in the world for?

Well, he doesn't know yet, but he will by tomorrow morning.

I said Jimmy and I would stop by to see what it's all about.

Why can't the professor invent something practical,

like the better mousetrap, or something?

[LAUGHS] Not him.

He'd try to invent the better mouse first.

Mm.

What could it possibly be used for?

[���]

What are all these little gizmos for, pop?

Well, you said to bring everything.

Those are remote control units.

[MUMBLING] Remote control--

You mean you can put these little ones somewhere far away

and make them work from this big one?

Yes. A stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.

Remote control, yet.

I think you're both nuts.

Uh, my partner here's one of them skepticable characters.

You got to prove to him it works.

Listen, if this thing can turn me upside-down,

I'll eat my hat.

Yep. Uh, naturally.

Uh, are you ready?

Go ahead.

[BEEPING]

[WHIRRING]

[BOTH GASP]

You were right, Yoyo, it don't work.

What do ya mean, it don't work? I'm inverted.

Relax, relax, take it easy.

[CHUCKLES] Look, no hands.

Hey, how about this?

Okay, pop, let us down, now.

[WHIRRING]

There you are.

You see? Don't bother you at all,

once you get used to it.

Yeah, but if you're not used to it...

That's the whole idea.

Pardon me, but, uh, what exactly is the whole idea?

Well, the idea, pop, is to make people happy.

That's why me and Yoyo run this carnival.

Not to make money, just to make people happy.

Sure, money is the last thing we ever think about,

just before we go to sleep.

[LAUGHS]

Uh, always makin' with the jokes.

You see, pop, we got six or seven carnivals

running right around this town.

Of course, I see.

You think people would actually enjoy

being turned upside-down. Like those loop-the-loops.

You got it, pop.

We could put one of these gizmos in each carny,

and you could run the whole setup from right in here.

Nothing I like better than making people happy.

Well, pop, you made Carny and me very happy already.

Yeah. Now you better run along, pop,

but be sure and be back at 9 tomorrow morning.

We oughta have everything set up then for a test run.

It's been a great pleasure meeting both of you,

and I'm sure our association will be rewarding.

No doubt about it, pop, no doubt about it.

[LAUGHS]

Well, uh, see you in the morning, huh?

Yeah, bright and early, bright and early.

Uh, good night. Good night, pop.

I've seen a lot of squares,

but this one takes the cake.

Hey, Carny, what was all that chatter

about them remote control boxes?

My brain is makin' up for lost time.

Now, the whole thing depends on timing.

Here we are.

There's the bank, see.

Inside, there's no trouble.

But makin' the getaway, that's another problem.

Yeah, well, gettin' away is always a problem.

This time it's a cinch.

We figure the escape route, time it to the second,

then plant these little boxes along the way.

Ah, I get it.

And anybody followin' you gets flipped upside-down, right?

That's usin' the old head, huh?

Eh, boss, you're a dyed-in-the-wool genius.

Mmm. I gotta admit it, I'm a genius.

[���]

Five blocks from the bank.

This oughta be a good spot to plant the first one.

You know, Carny, this is gonna be like stealin' candy

from the First National Bank.

Yeah. Eh, right there.

Yeah, okay.

Mmm.

Eh, we got six more to plant.

Then we gotta time the route.

Well, figuring you enter the bank at exactly 10:30.

Yeah, 10:30.

Just make sure the box goes off

exactly two minutes later. 10:32.

It'll go off, don't worry.

Okay, let's go.

Oh, I can hardly wait to start the machine!

[LAUGHS]

Oh, I do hope the people enjoy it.

Don't worry, pop, they won't know what him 'em.

But what I don't understand is why the first one has to go

at exactly 10:32.

Look, pop, I been in the carny business all my life.

I know what I'm doin', okay?

Oh, of course, Mr. Yoyo, anything you say.

Oh, I just hope it's a success.

Don't worry, it's going to be a success.

Don't worry about it.

Kent?

Yes, chief, what is it?

Where's Lois and that boy wonder of journalism?

I want them immediately.

Oh, they stopped by to see the professor, chief.

I'll call them up and try to get them to hustle.

Do that, and ask them if they'd mind squeezing in

a little work between visiting hours.

[LINE RINGING]

I don't get it, chief. I called the professor

No one's there. No one answered the phone.

Well, call him right back and ask why he's not at home.

Yeah.

Get on your mark, pop.

Three minutes to go.

[BEEPING]

Whenever you give the signal, Mr. Yoyo.

JIMMY: Professor? Professor Periwinkle?

Whatever you're selling, we don't want any.

Oh, we're not selling anything, sir.

We're-- We're looking for the professor.

Just in time! Okay,

you might as well sit down and watch.

You, get back to the gizmo.

Yes, yes, of course, of course.

LOIS: We got your note

you were coming here.

Okay, pop, 90 seconds to go, get ready.

What's all this about, sir?

Oh! A delightful idea.

Mr. Yoyo and his friends have planted

my remote control boxes at six different carnivals in town.

They have-- They have upside-down rooms,

and that sort of thing.

Okay, pop, now, cut the gab, will you?

You got 60 seconds.

Wait a minute, professor.

Mr. Kent is writing some carnival articles.

And this is the only one in town.

But Mr. Yoyo said that they owned--

Don't interfere, lady, will ya?

We'll interfere if we feel like it.

Of course, we don't feel like it.

You don't waste much time, do you?

Got no time to waste.

All right you two, sit down where I can keep an eye on you.

This is outrageous.

I-I refuse to cooperate until you tell me the meaning of this.

You'll cooperate, professor,

unless you want your little friends here to get hurt.

Jeepers, why do we have to live in the age of invention?

I'm afraid there's an evil purpose

for even the best of inventions.

Okay, pop, 10:32. Hit it!

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

Okay, pop, get set to hit number two.

At least you could tell us what's happening.

Lady, if nothing went wrong, we just stole a million bucks.

[TRUCK RUMBLING]

Okay, pop, 10:40. Hit number two.

That was the last one.

You can shut the machine off now, pop.

Carny oughta be here in a couple of minutes.

Tell him we're sorry, but we couldn't wait.

Let's face it. You're the only ones who can identify us.

You can't afford to let us go, right?

That's it, lady.

It's my fault.

I got you into this.

We're not blaming you, professor.

Jeepers, if someone only knew we were here.

I'm afraid even Superman couldn't find us.

Not a chance, lady, not a chance.

Okay, go back and sit down, now.

Go on.

If it hadn't actually happened to me,

I'd say you were all crazy.

All right, thank you very much.

I've got your statements. Go on home.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Kent, my head's still spinning.

Have you ever driven a car down the street

and suddenly found yourself upside-down?

No, Bill, I can't say as I have,

but I had much the same experience in my own office.

Obviously the professor's machine

is at the bottom of all this.

Now, it doesn't seem possible

that dopey little man could be crooked.

I don't believe he is, either.

I think somebody's just using him.

And that somebody's making an absolute fool

of the entire police department.

I know, but the important thing

is that these people are dangerous.

Now, we know they have the professor.

The odds are 2-1 they've got Jimmy and Lois too.

Yeah, and there's nothing we can do about it.

Oh, there must be some connection.

Wait a minute, you remember I told you about that fellow

that burst in the office?

So all we have to do is locate a man

who could be anybody, anyplace.

Isn't there something you can remember about him?

Now, things were a little confused at that point.

We were upside-down, remember?

Well, wait a minute, there was one thing.

The first thing he yelled was, "Hey, Rube."

Hey, Kent, that could be the answer.

Whenever there's trouble around a carnival or circus,

that's the signal for help.

That's right, and there's a carnival playing the town.

Well, come on. It's worth a try.

You go ahead, Bill. I-I'd like to hold the paper, if I may.

All right, I'll see you later.

Right.

[���]

South America, here we come.

Yeah, after we get rid of them.

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

What'd you say?

Oh, let 'em talk, they ain't got much time left.

[���]

[COUGHING]

Kid musta swallowed his tongue.

Yeah.

[WHIRRING]

All right, get in line.

JIMMY: Superman!

[MEN GROAN]

Are you all right?

Fine. Yeah.

Ah, good.

Well, it's nice to have things back to normal.

If there ever was a nick of time,

Superman, that was it.

That gives me an idea...

a machine to make time stand absolutely still for--

Now, just a moment, professor,

no more machines, please.

You know, this calls for a celebration.

I'd want to invite all of you and Mr. Kent

to my house for dinner.

Mom's cooking something special for dessert.

Sounds good, Jim, what is it?

Pineapple upside-down cake.

[���]

NARRATOR: Don't miss the next thrill-packed episode

in the amazing Adventures of Superman!

Superman is based on the original character

appearing in Superman magazine.