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1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:04,418
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:22,486
(SNICKERING)
3
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:26,306
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
4
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,099
(SCREAMING)
5
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:31,603
(YELLING)
6
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:35,995
(YELLING)
7
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:39,820
PEASANT: I hate the past.
8
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,554
BRICK: I'm in a gopher hole.
9
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,512
PETER:
Well played, Your Highness.
10
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:48,751
Thank you, Lord Peter.
11
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,076
My dashed peasant
threw a shoe.
12
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:53,251
Revolution!
13
00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:56,121
Fresh peasant!
His Highness needs a fresh peasant!
14
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:57,619
Fresh peasant.
15
00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,661
Hi-ho, peasant! Away!
16
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,657
Nice day for it, what?
17
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:03,699
Simply super, Your Highness.
18
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:05,534
What a salient observation.
19
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,299
Yes. Very well observed.
20
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,597
Simply smashingly observed!
21
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,569
Observation. Good.
22
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:13,467
Tally ho! The game is mine!
23
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,240
(SNICKERING)
24
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,038
Oh, I say, Lord Dicky.
25
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,911
Isn't this
Scarlet Pinkernel fellow
26
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:21,549
everyone is talking
about quite the sensation?
27
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:22,815
DASTARDLY: Oh, please!
28
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,993
Some gregarious goof
in a pink mask
29
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:26,552
perambulates himself--
30
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:27,860
Or herself.
31
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:29,462
DASTARDLY:...over to France so that he--
32
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:30,863
Or she.
33
00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,455
...can rescue a few knock-kneed nobles
34
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,357
from the garlic stuffed massesthose cheese-chewing
35
00:01:34,429 --> 00:01:36,829
Francophiles have elected out of hand,
36
00:01:36,898 --> 00:01:40,738
and brings them back here so they can chitter chatter saying, "Ooh la la"
37
00:01:40,802 --> 00:01:44,872
and boring everyone with their constant babble about goose cruelty,
38
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:47,809
sock garters and unreasonably tall wigs.
39
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:51,805
I say, I certainly have
a simply spiffy suggestion.
40
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:54,549
We'll have
a sport of a contest.
41
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,075
The first one to pop off
42
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:59,550
to France and bring back
a French aristocrat
43
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,120
will receive this fancy
royal trophy
44
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:05,329
I just happen to have
in my stylish royal breeches.
45
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,632
Then let us away!
46
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,333
ALL: To France!
47
00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:11,526
-BRICK: Oh, dash
these gopher holes! -(LAUGHING)
48
00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:13,868
(ALL PANTING)
49
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,674
Oh, what's that?
50
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,806
PENELOPE: The English Channel.
51
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,571
Oh, well, as long as
we own it.
52
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,140
We need to get across it.
53
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:24,107
Okay. How?
54
00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:26,107
(MUTTERING)
55
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:27,509
Tally ho!
56
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,081
(CHOMPING)
57
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,421
May we be of service,
young lady?
58
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,060
I could use a ride to France.
59
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:42,426
England expects every man
will be a taxi.
60
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,826
(PENELOPE SCREAMING)
61
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,227
I shall apply the latest
scientific principles
62
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:49,540
to a finely calculated
channel crossing.
63
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:52,713
(SCREAMING)
64
00:02:52,774 --> 00:02:56,044
This is where I catch
the Chunnel train, is it not, my good man?
65
00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:57,650
Yes, it is, my Lord.
66
00:02:57,712 --> 00:03:00,652
Then when is the next train
due to depart for France?
67
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:05,714
Uh, let me see. Hmm.
201 years, sir.
68
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,293
Maybe sooner.
69
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:09,385
Well, that was easy.
70
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,527
Now, we just have
to pop over to Paris
71
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,202
and rescue the aristocrat
from the ruthlessly sadistic revolutionaries
72
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:15,801
that rule France
in a reign of terror.
73
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,733
How do we get to Paris?
74
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,228
Look! There's a French
peasant girl.
75
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,040
I will ask her the way
without raising suspicion,
76
00:03:21,102 --> 00:03:22,702
as I speak flawless French.
77
00:03:22,771 --> 00:03:25,141
(IN BAD FRENCH ACCENT)
Hello, little French person.
78
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:29,136
As you can tell
from my perfect French accent,
79
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:31,680
I am a disgusting
French peasant.
80
00:03:31,746 --> 00:03:35,846
Please take us to Pariss'il vous plait , chop-chop.
81
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,916
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
82
00:03:40,989 --> 00:03:43,759
(IN ENGLISH)
Oh, drat! This girl isn't French after all.
83
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,294
I think she's Swedish.
84
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:46,458
Let me try.
85
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:49,827
(EXAGGERATED ACCENT)
Little Swedish girl.
86
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:53,997
You take us to Paris?
87
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:57,098
(SPEAKING NONSENSE)
88
00:03:57,171 --> 00:04:01,081
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
89
00:04:01,142 --> 00:04:06,142
See? You just have to know
how to talk to peasants.
90
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:09,513
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
91
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,318
What a strange little girl.
92
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:16,917
I say, what happened to all
the French aristocrats about?
93
00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:18,731
-(GUN COCKS)
-(ALL GASP)
94
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:19,792
Maybe they know.
95
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,130
I think that's a good bet.
96
00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:23,225
Prepare to receive
the people's justice
97
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:27,597
from the people's committee
of public safety.
98
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,568
Okey-dokey.
Where are they?
99
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:30,866
It is half-past four.
100
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,708
They are still at lunch,
of course.
101
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,443
Ooh la la.
102
00:04:34,509 --> 00:04:38,179
Prepare to face the
gratuitously violent justice
103
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:40,675
of the people's committee
of public safety!
104
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:44,448
Citizen Fufu, make a note
of one, two, three...
105
00:04:44,519 --> 00:04:48,959
Six execution orders this day,
the 12th of Thermidor.
106
00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:51,463
Thermidor?
You mean July, don't you?
107
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,225
I do not mean July!
108
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:56,104
The people of New France
have changed the bourgeois names
109
00:04:56,164 --> 00:05:00,274
of all things used by
the ruling classes to oppress the proletariat.
110
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:01,974
It is all the latest fashion.
111
00:05:02,037 --> 00:05:05,167
Citizen guards,
have the prisoners of the people take
112
00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:06,439
bottom holder-uppers.
113
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,737
Wait, what?
Bottom holder-uppers?
114
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,949
Oh! That is what
we call chairs now.
115
00:05:11,012 --> 00:05:15,252
They are over there.
Next to the whiffle wangle flattie-eatie off-thingie.
116
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:17,716
Perhaps we could have
a people's dictionary
117
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:22,215
to familiarize ourselves
with these new and very fashionable words.
118
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,519
We no longer
have dictionaries!
119
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,531
We call them "Susans" now.
120
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:27,963
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
121
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,958
What is she saying?
What language is that?
122
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,201
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
123
00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:33,896
(IN ENGLISH)
I think she is Swedish.
124
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:37,737
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
125
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:41,605
Citizen Nose Goblin,
send for the Swedish ambassador.
126
00:05:41,676 --> 00:05:44,946
He is busy trying to assemble
his office furniture.
127
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,852
(CRYING)
128
00:05:46,915 --> 00:05:50,115
Then take this child away
and give her some heavily salted fish
129
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:54,984
and densely
metaphorical cinema.
130
00:05:57,291 --> 00:06:00,891
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
131
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,061
We, the people of
the people's committee,
132
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:06,200
find you all guilty
English people!
133
00:06:06,267 --> 00:06:07,667
Hey, he says "people" a lot.
134
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,595
Citizen Pickles! Take them
to the Bastille!
135
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:11,910
The what?
136
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,542
Oh, right.
We changed that word too.
137
00:06:13,608 --> 00:06:17,548
Take them to...
To the butterhat monkey hole!
138
00:06:17,612 --> 00:06:20,652
No! Not the butterhat
monkey hole!
139
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,484
Not the butterhat monkey hole!
140
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,820
I can't stand it!
141
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,056
(PENELOPE THUDDING)
142
00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:30,192
(SCREAMING)
143
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,327
-(HORNS BLARING)
-(THUDDING)
144
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,402
(THUDDING)
145
00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:36,462
-(SCREAMING)
-(GUN FIRING)
146
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:37,799
(EXPLOSION)
147
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:39,734
(SNICKERING)
148
00:06:39,801 --> 00:06:43,501
GUARD: Welcome to the infamous
and terrifying butterhat monkey hole.
149
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:46,741
As you can see, your cell
is completely inescapable,
150
00:06:46,808 --> 00:06:50,438
and decorated with ironic
inspirational posters,
151
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,981
hard-wooded bottom
holder-uppers,
152
00:06:53,048 --> 00:06:56,578
and a complimentary table
of assorted French chees.
153
00:06:56,651 --> 00:07:00,891
I have here your very last
ever meal of the finest French cuisine.
154
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,894
And also this smelly,
155
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,186
horrible slum bucket.
156
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,889
Oh, yes? Which is which?
157
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,800
(SNICKERING)
158
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:11,472
Ah, you mock our French food.
159
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:15,372
I shall enjoy torturing
you with this slightly cross frog.
160
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:18,706
No. I shall enjoy escaping
161
00:07:18,773 --> 00:07:22,343
-as I flick your asymmetrical
facial blemishes. -Ah!
162
00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:24,450
You English think much
of yourselves
163
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,752
with your
not-built-yet Big Ben
164
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:29,154
and systematic oppression
of the working class!
165
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,786
Don't you,Monsieur Big Nose?
166
00:07:30,852 --> 00:07:34,092
My nose may be large
but it smells very nicely,
167
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,464
which is more than I can
say for you, Frenchy.
168
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:39,064
You English eat shepherds
baked into pies!
169
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,596
What have they ever done
to deserve such a thing?
170
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:44,071
(WOMAN LAUGHING)
171
00:07:44,132 --> 00:07:49,132
Sacre bleu! The famous
and famously insaneMadame Guillotine!
172
00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:50,870
Yes, it is I.
173
00:07:50,939 --> 00:07:53,609
I have come to do awful,
terrible things to the prisoners!
174
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:55,143
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
175
00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:56,739
Isn't that right, Navi?
176
00:07:56,811 --> 00:08:01,121
You're in for it now,
English dogs!
177
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,851
(MUTTERING)
178
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:07,717
Guard, leave us so I may
interrogate the prisoners.
179
00:08:07,789 --> 00:08:10,589
Must I,Madame?
I'm really a huge fan.
180
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,858
I even have
your T-shirt, see?
181
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,296
I promise to be very quiet.
182
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:17,201
Come on, Guilly.
Let him stay.
183
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,904
Well, all right.
184
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:21,596
Just stand over there.
185
00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:23,239
What are you going
to do to us?
186
00:08:23,304 --> 00:08:26,144
Exactly as I planned,
which is...
187
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,676
To rescue you all!
188
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:29,912
Hey!
189
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,177
Your Highness!
190
00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:33,375
You must be
the Scarlet Pinkernel!
191
00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:35,517
Oh, what a brilliant disguise.
192
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:39,423
No, my friends.
I am just a humble assistant
193
00:08:39,487 --> 00:08:41,987
to the one true
Scarlet Pinkernel,
194
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,885
who is right behind you!
195
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,557
Where?
196
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:48,926
BRICK: On that cheese tray,
disguised as a piece of Gouda.
197
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:51,056
-A-ha!
-Odds bodkins!
198
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,531
Lady Penelope.
199
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:56,170
That is a good disguise.
(LAUGHS) Okay, sorry.
200
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,436
I am the Scarlet Pinkernel.
201
00:08:58,507 --> 00:09:01,877
And I am here to rescue you
with the help of a stalwart band of Englishmen
202
00:09:01,943 --> 00:09:06,113
who are presently disguised
as the remaining pieces of cheese on the...
203
00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:07,310
...cheese tray.
204
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:12,051
PENELOPE: Oh, dear.
205
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,449
(BURPS)
206
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,820
ALL: Oh!
207
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,888
What do we do now?
208
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,886
Uh, um... Right.
209
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,628
Oh, leg it?
210
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:23,063
(YELLING)
211
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,270
Lord Muttley!
This is all your fault!
212
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:26,982
(MUTTERING)
213
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:34,578
(CROWD YELLING)
214
00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:37,152
The English Channel
is just ahead! Hurry!
215
00:09:37,212 --> 00:09:40,922
Get them! They are heading
for the biggy wettie doodle.
216
00:09:40,982 --> 00:09:43,252
What is that?
Someone get the dictionary.
217
00:09:43,317 --> 00:09:45,047
We don't have dictionaries
anymore.
218
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,618
Here's a Susan.
219
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,358
I hate not knowing
the names of anything.
220
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,694
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
221
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,400
The little Swedish girl
is right. I quit.
222
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,062
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
223
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,930
The English are getting away!
224
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,940
Who cares? They will be back
as tourists when we build
225
00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:05,913
the Eiffel Tower and then,
we will overcharge them for coffee and baguettes.
226
00:10:05,974 --> 00:10:10,314
I'm going home to disdain
American children's entertainment
227
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:11,577
and eat a light snack.
228
00:10:11,646 --> 00:10:14,106
Me too. Who wants
frog entrails?
229
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,751
Oh, save the gall bladder
for me.
230
00:10:16,818 --> 00:10:19,118
So, I guess that's it.
We just go home.
231
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,216
Without a French aristocrat.
232
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,418
So no one gets the trophy.
233
00:10:23,491 --> 00:10:25,091
Well, that depends,
Your Highness.
234
00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:26,559
We may not have an aristo-cat.
235
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:29,227
But would you settle
for an aristo-dog?
236
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,466
(SNICKERING)
237
00:10:32,533 --> 00:10:33,873
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
238
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:38,874
(BLOWS)
239
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,939
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
240
00:10:40,989 --> 00:10:45,539
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