Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNICKERING)

(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

Take that, you lethargic line of loathsome losers.

Careful, Dastardly, you might damage the dam.

Hoover Dam, built in 1931,

was originally known as Boulder Dam.

It is a concrete arch--

Oh, pipe down, you pint-sized promotional pamphlet.

Nobody cares.

It's just a background painting.

Muttley, maximize the mega blaster,

and give those malignant malingers a magnificent blast

so I may speed past.

Uh-oh.

(GRUNTING IN DISAPPROVAL)

I wish I hadn't wasted my life watching television.

(ALL SCREAMING)

Drat. Did you fire the big missile, Muttley?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-(RUMBLING) -BOTH: Hmm?

I.Q.: The superstructure has been compromised.

I estimate catastrophic collapse in 57 seconds.

What are we going to do?

We can't let this tragedy happen.

Peter's right.

The damage to the nearby towns will be terrible.

Oh, yeah. Well, sure, that,

but mostly, this suit is dry-clean only and I just got a new permanent.

Car, deploy the porta-lab.

This is the protype for my latest temporal transpositional thingamabob.

Properly calibrated, it should reverse time

to before Dastardly fired his missile.

What a great idea.

It's all been too much for the little guy.

Help me get him in this sack.

-Hmm. Hey! -Oh, no.

If anyone is going to manipulate this mechanism,

it will be me!

-ALL: No! -(ALARM RINGING)

(IN OLD WOMAN'S VOICE) Well, that just happened.

(GRUNTING IN DISAPPROVAL)

Oh, great. Bella has gone batty.

And some malingering millennial has stolen my dog

and left behind this giant, hairy rhesus.

-(GRUNTING INDIFFERENTLY) -We've all been made old.

-You're cold? -Old!

-(PENELOPE YELLING) -Fold? Fold what?

That ding dang geriatric genius

did this razzamafrazz confrabulation to us.

Make him undo it, or I'll complain to the government.

And then I'll complain about my taxes.

Of course I'll fix this, you wrinkled whippersnapper.

All I have to do is enter the passcode.

Do you rember the passcode?

Someone change the dress code? I hope it's called casual.

I look great in black socks and sandals.

Of course, I remember the code.

It's very easy to remember.

Easy as pie.

-I.Q.? -Hmm?

Yes? Oh, hello. Who are you?

My name is, uh... What is it? What is it?

-(RUMBLING) -(EXCLAIMING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(GRUMBLING)

(INDISTINCT CLAMORING)

Welcome to your new home, racers.

Why do we have to retire, Mrs. Barnstorm?

Oh, you're so cute. Have a butterscotch.

-There you go. -(COUGHING)

Your contract states

that when you get either old or unattractive,

you agree to be put out to pasture,

so kids never have to see

anyone older than 25 on television.

But how can you do

-Wacky Races without me? -(GLASS SHATTERING)

-(CATS WHIMPERING) -(MOANING)

Oh, well, we'll just grow

younger versions of you in our TV lab.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

-(GROWLING) -(SCREAMING)

Now, don't y'all worry,

Snoozy Acres is the best

budget elder care storage facility

in the great state of Florida.

(GRUNTING IN DISAPPROVAL) Too much sun.

(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

And the weather is too ding dang changeable.

(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

-And too many squirrels. -(SQUEAKING)

-(DASTARDLY WAILING) -Well, it is Florida.

Y'all enjoy, uh,

well, whatever it is people your age do between Christmases.

Bye.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ALL COUGHING)

-Hello, there, new friends. -ALL: Ahhh!

Welcome to Snoozy Acres Retirement Home

and Loved One Storage Facility.

We're a fun, fun community for fun, fun seniors.

I guess we should just make the best of it.

-Have another butterscotch. -(GRUNTING)

Hopscotch? I'd love to.

(GROANING)

(BONES CRACKING)

-(EXCLAIMING) -(CRACKING)

(FARTING)

(SIGHING IN EXASPERATION)

(HUMMING CHEERFULLY)

(GROANING)

We have our own

super senior-friendly golf course.

-GOLFER: Fore! -(YELLING IN PAIN)

A shuffleboard area.

Doing great, Mrs. Kolansky.

-(GROANING) -(BONES CRACKING)

Well, they sure do shuffle, all right.

I'd love a bite.

Your wish is my command.

(SMACKING LIPS)

(SIGHING)

Our watersize area.

Keep at it, Mr. Liebowitz.

(GROWLING)

WOMAN: Five. Six.

DASTARDLY: What's that?

Those are the Florida Everglades.

Hi, there, Sunny. Isn't this...

-(GROWLING) -(SCREAMING)

Oops. I'd stay behind the white line.

You want to know the right time?

-(HISSING) -(GROANING)

Good tip.

-(HISSING) -(YELLING)

(SCREAMING)

-(BONES CRACKING) -Let me... No, you...

-No! Drat! Drat! Drat! -(SQUEAKING)

(SNICKERING)

(CHUCKLING) And last, but sure as shooting not least

our very own state-of-the-art recreation room.

Why does it look like it's 1974?

Oh, I assure you, this room is just jam-packed

with the latest,

state-of-the-art entertainment equipment.

For Florida.

-(BUZZING) -(GROANING)

What was that?

Oh, that's just a little old Florida June bug.

Don't make any sudden moves, and you'll be fine.

Probably.

I guess we should just make the best of it.

-(GRUMBLING) -(WAILING)

-(SCREAMING) -Drat!

-(DASTARDLY SCREAMING) -(MUTTLEY GRUMBLING)

(SWING MUSIC PLAYING)

-(GLASS SHATTERING) -(CLAMORING)

(BONES CREAKING)

(SNICKERING)

You're not fitting in.

Oh, I think we made a lot of new friends here.

(CLAMORING)

You really haven't.

Have you seen my teeth? Oh, there they are.

-(HISSING) -(THUNDER RUMBLING)

I don't usually do this,

but until I see some change in your behavior,

you are banned from all social events.

Even the hootenanny?

There will be no more hootin' for you, Granny.

And I don't want any more butterscotch.

(MOANING IN DISAPPOINTMENT)

We have to get out of here.

What's the point of leaving?

We're all too old to race.

Being old stinks.

If only I could remember the passcode.

And you said it was as easy to rember as pie.

How do you know the passcode?

I.Q., did you say

Dastardly knew the code for the time machine?

Yes. Pi. 3.14159.

So, the code is the numerical value of Pi?

What is?

The value of Pi is the passcode.

-What passcode? -Oh, forget that old fool.

If we knew the code,

we can de-age ourselves back to normal.

I.Q., where's your time machine?

In Car's trunk, back at the garage,

whoever you are.

Hurry. Back to the Wacky Races garage!

(ALL MUTTERING)

(BEEPING)

-Now, where did we park? -(GROANING)

I put a ribbon on the antenna...

Hmm... Oh!

(BEEPING)

Oh, here you go. (LAUGHING)

-Found my purse. -PETER: I got a nice ticket.

(ENGINE REVVING)

Where do you think you're going?

-(SQUISHING) -(MOANING)

-(GROANING) -You poor thing.

I'm all out of butterscotch.

Have some butter instead. Thanks, Darling.

(STRAINING) My heart.

-(MANIACAL LAUGHTER) -(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

(SNORING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

-(ALL CLAMORING) -(HORNS HONKING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

-(SNORING) -(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ALL CLAMORING)

(HORNS HONKING)

-(SQUIRRELS SQUEAKING) -(EXCLAIMING IN AGONY)

-(SQUEAKING) -(DASTARDLY MOANING)

(GRUNTING)

-(ALL CLAMORING) -(GROWLING)

This is my only line. Ahhh!

MAN: Well, at least he's young.

Ah! (GROWLING)

PENELOPE: Here we come. Oh, watch out.

CAR: Hi, boss. Boy, is it great to see you.

Is that car talking? Weird.

Car, we need the time machine.

CAR: No problem. Here you go.

(SQUIRRELS SQUEAKING)

What's the value of pi again?

I think it's blueberry.

Sigh. I got it.

(ALARM RINGING)

It worked!

I'm handsome again. How's my hair?

Well, it's about time.

I hope you learned your lesson, young man.

Me? But, I didn't... But, you... But... What?

(EXCLAIMING)

(INDISTINCT GRUMBLING)

Why are they so grumpy?

(SCOFFING) Youth is wasted on the young.

(SQUIRRELS SQUEAKING)

-(EXCLAIMING) -(SNICKERING)

(GULPING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

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