Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNICKERING)

BRICK:Once upon a time, there was a TV show about

a group of brave, happy, well-adjusted sportsmen

who competed in wholesome racing events well-suited for family viewing.

But that one got canceled.

-(EXPLOSIONS) -So we made this one,

and gave it the same name to fool the sponsors.

-(ENGINES REVVING) -(BRICK YELPS)

BRICK:And there the Wacky Racers go.

Zooming across the bonny hills of Scotland,

in a difficult display of professionalism and good sportsmanship.

-(SHEEP BLEATING) -Out of my way, you graying gadflies!

(SIGHS) Another day, another race.

Maybe we should try something new?

Oh, I don't know. Some things are perfect the way they are.

I just wish that something new would happen.

(YAWNS) Muttley, fire my brand-new

reality-mangling meta missile.

-(GRUNTS) -(BEEPS)

Now, that's new.

I think you kind of overdid it this time, Dicky.

-Meh. -PENELOPE: It's sucking us in!

BELLA: And believe me, I know sucking.

ALL: Whoa!

What's happening?

Your new meta missile

opened a portal to a different dimension.

Dastardly, where did you get those things?

From Apocalypse Al's All Discount, Third-Hand Doomsday Emporium

and Exotic Cheese Bar.

One more purchase, and I get 10% off

a nuclear-powered Planet Destructo-matic.

It's a Christmas gift from me to me.

(ALL SCREAMING)

-Where's our cars? -Uh-oh.

PETER: Oh, there they are.

(ALL GROANING)

Where are we?

PENELOPE: What an ordinary-looking place.

(SIGHS) The locations just haven't been the same since the art director quit.

DASTARDLY: Never mind the scenery, Pitstop.

(WHIMPERS) Look, I've got a boo-boo on my pinky!

-Oh, the pain, the pain! -I.Q.: Whoa!

You look fine to me, Dastardly.

Nonsense! I can feel my life ebbing away

as we speak.

Someone call a doctor!

(CLEARS THROAT) Did someone call for a doctor?

-Thank you, Mr. Doctor. -(I.Q. GRUNTS)

Look at my devastatingly disfigured diminutive digit.

DASTARDLY: Let me out of here this instant!

-I'll sue you for malpractice. -It must be the Doctor's lunch break.

-(DASTARDLY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) -(BURPS) Oh. Excuse me.

I think Mr. Hyde ate something that's disagreeing with me.

(RETCHING)

(CAT YOWLS)

(SNIFFING) You smell like hot dogs.

I was at a ballgame earlier.

(RETCHES)

Caught a foul ball, too.

I'll say you're a foul ball! How dare you?

Wait, wait! Did you say, "Mr. Hyde"?

Then you're Dr. Jekyll.

Oh, I've always wanted to meet you!

But, Dr. Jekyll is just a character out of a storybook.

-He's not real. -Forgive me, fair lady.

Much is the experience of long and toilsome voyaging,

that there are sights and wonders

in this fair Earth beyond the ken

of many a weary wander.

Who's this guy, now?

I have the honor of being Captain Lemuel Gulliver,

retired ship's master, surgeon, and your obedient servant, sir.

(STAMMERS) Gulliver? FromGulliver's Travels?

But that's my favorite book!

Well, I... (GIGGLES NERVOUSLY) Are you really "the" Gulliver?

I am indeed, fair lady.

Oh! (GIGGLING)

(SNORTS) I'm uh...

How handsome! (GASPING)

Aren't you made up, too? How are you here?

(GIGGLING) Here's my hand...

-He kissed my hand. (GASPS) -(THUDS)

All for one!

Musketeers, our companion d'Artagnan

needs assistancetout de suite, n'est-ce pas?

(LAUGHS)

-I'm not d'Artagnan. -Our mistake.

I.Q.: Let me out! I'm telling you, my name's not Alice!

Something very weird is going on here.

Did anyone lose an Alice?

And right in the middle of our tea party.

You're very rude, and I'm very mad about it.

-Mad! Mad, I say! -(RETCHES)

Oh! Wonderful! Anyone for tea?

(SLURPS) Eh, you call this tea?

Where are the frogs and snail bits?

Would you like one lump or four?

Four,s'il vous plait.

(GRUNTING)

Oh, I say, I'll have that tea for the poor,

-because I am-- -Let me guess... Robin Hood.

Oh, does it show?

Avez, Musketeers.

We must protect these small triangle sandwiches from this brigand,

with our very lives.

(GROWLS)

Give them all to me!

My last meal disagreed with me.

Those sandwiches belong to the poor, honest,

unwashed people of England.

(ALL GRUNTING)

Is anyone else confused, or is it just me as usual?

-(ALL AGREEING) -Join the club.

(COUGHING)

Perhaps I can clear the air.

-And you are? -I am Merlin.

Welcome, my fellow fictionites to Wordsworld.

-"Fictionites"? -But, of course.

This is where all the greatest fictional characters exist.

-"Fictional"? You mean, made up? -But we're real.

(LAUGHING) Good one.

No, we're really real. We're the Wacky Racers.

-Oh, right, that sounds very real. -We're here by accident.

Captain, you haven't been approved by the Editor?

"Editor"? Who's that?

Oh, he's the one who judges all the characters,

and whether they're worthy of Wordsworld.

And what precisely happens,

if one isn't Wordsworld worthy?

-We edit you out. Forever. -The handsome ones, too?

Only the Great Maker

may reverse the Editor's judgment of a character's worth.

What kind of person just judges others like that?

Eh, he got a degree in screenwriting

-and couldn't find other work. -That figures.

Oh, great, another crazy, evil, unoriginal,

ugly, smelly, overdressed goofball villain

with bad hair, bad breath, and--

And he's right behind us, isn't he?

Yes.

Who be these strangers in our most strange land?

Oh, wow, you're a big fella.

Uh, hi, um, we're the Wacky Racers.

Famous quality characters from children's, uh, entertainment.

Oh! Never heard of you.

You're not on that television thing, are you?

Uh, not really, no.

-We were huge in the '60s. -Well, our episodes are online...

-(STUTTERS) ...if you-- -(YELLS) "Online"?

Nothing of quality is online!

You shall be expunged from existence!

Not so fast, Editor.

They say they are real.

And you may only judge the fictional.

Huh? But they're far too silly and poorly written

to be anything but fictional.

(LAUGHS EXCITEDLY) I like the way the dog giggles.

(SNICKERING)

Enough! Nothing stands between me and my sacred duty!

(LAUGHS) He said "doody."

I suggest you get to the Great Maker, quickly!

Come on, everyone, to the cars.

The Maker? No!

PENELOPE: Head to the mountaintop!

Were they real?

Is anyone?

No poorly written work of fiction escapes the Editor.

BELLA: Brothers, look out!

-Bella! -Tiny!

They're gone.

-I've got you now! -PETER: Penny, look out!

-Peter! -Oh, no.

But the Maker can still save--

Oh, I.Q., darling.

Let's see if you can take it as well as you can dish it out.

Muttley, give him all we've got.

(MUTTLEY GRUNTS)

Uh-oh.

PENELOPE: We got to keep going!

That's the mountain but the bridge is the only way across.

DASTARDLY: It'll never hold our cars.

Do you have any missiles left?

Well, just a little one, and a rope and this bomb

my mater got me for my sweet 16 party.

(EDITOR LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(YELLS)

You go on, Dastardly, I'll stay and distract him.

You know what that means?

Just make sure you find this Great Maker and get our friends back.

Dastardly, I'm trusting you.

Yes. (STAMMERS) Yes, you are, aren't you?

-Get going, Dastardly. -(TIRES SCREECHING)

-(GROWLS) -All right, Editor, I'm gonna prove to you

just how real I am.

If you weren't just characters in a story,

you couldn't be erased.

Excuse me, Pitstop, could you just hold this?

Dastardly, what are you doing?

-Betraying you. -(BEEPS)

I trusted you!

Well, that wasn't a very good idea, was it?

Dastardly!

We both know I'd just mess it all up.

You're the hero!

I'm just the devilishly handsome heartthrob.

-I'll still edit her! -Not without the bridge.

Good luck, Pitstop.

(CHUCKLES, GASPS)

No!

Jump, Muttley!

Dastardly saved us both.

You've escaped me, but you're still just a story!

-Come on, Muttley, we have to get going. -(MUTTLEY WHIMPERS)

Like Dastardly wanted us to.

(BOTH GRUNT)

Oh, it just never ends.

There's always another bridge to cross.

(SIGHS) Oh, Muttley.

-GREAT MAKER: The metaphor is a bit heavy. -Hmm?

I'll fix it in the rewrite. Tea?

So, you wanted to see me?

My friends. The Editor erased them.

He said we weren't real, and he just...

(TEARFULLY) He just...

I guess we were only stories after all.

What's wrong with being a story?

I think the important thing is being a good story.

But what about my friends?

The characters from our favorite stories

never really go away.

Not in our hearts.

DASTARDLY: Pitstop? PETER: Penelope?

-Good evening. -You're back!

You're all back! Oh, I thought I'd lost you!

Stop that, you malingering mongrel!

You're giving my glove dog breath!

(STUTTERS) What happened?

Uh, I think I remember wearing a dress.

I wake up like that a lot, too.

She brought you back! She brought you all--

-Where'd she go? -Where'd who go?

PENELOPE: The Great Maker.

ALL: Whoa!

(ALL SCREAMING)

So, when I'm not in most of an episode,

I go do video game voices.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL GROAN)

Bleh, I feel like a dirty moat at low tide.

I think Mr. Dastardly's reality-mingling meta missile

must have made us all hallucinate.

Hmm.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Our story is just getting started.

(ENGINES REVVING)

(SNICKERING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0