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1
00:00:00,668 --> 00:00:03,818
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,352
(SNICKERING)
3
00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:30,034
(BLEATING)
4
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:33,181
(DASTARDLY SCREAMING)
5
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:39,572
(TIRES SCREECHING)
6
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,810
Launch the rockets!
7
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:43,275
(GROWLS) Razzle.
8
00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:52,845
Drat!
9
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:54,593
(BEEPS)
10
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:55,885
Did I win?
11
00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:57,530
Not even close.
12
00:00:57,592 --> 00:01:00,032
I'm afraid the race was over
yesterday, Dastardly darling.
13
00:01:00,095 --> 00:01:04,095
Yesterday! You mean my traps,
tricks, and cheats were all for not?
14
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:07,265
Well, they did make
some pretty lights.
15
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:09,498
And were kind of funny when
they backfired on you.
16
00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:12,337
What kind of sick person would
laugh at Dicky in pain?
17
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:15,183
(DASTARDLY YELPS)
18
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:17,506
(SNICKERING)
19
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:18,611
(BLEATING)
20
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,580
(SOBS) It's not fair.
Why can't I ever win?
21
00:01:21,683 --> 00:01:24,353
Now, now, sugar.
There's always next time.
22
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,355
Yes, when life gives
you lemons,
23
00:01:26,388 --> 00:01:30,688
suck the thick hot bitter
juice out of the quivering fleshy yellow pulp.
24
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:33,358
(SNICKERS) Mwah! What?
25
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:36,634
Dastardly darling, we just
hate seeing y'all this sad.
26
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,097
I'm not sad! I'm angry.
27
00:01:39,201 --> 00:01:43,941
Angry that you blivering
buffoons keep making the same egregious errors.
28
00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:46,038
Errors, me? But I'm perfect.
29
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,907
Aren't I?
Someone get me a mirror.
30
00:01:47,976 --> 00:01:51,806
You fools frequently fail
to fall for my fiendishly foxy frame-ups.
31
00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:56,620
So, your constant losing
is our fault for not falling for your traps?
32
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:57,887
Precisely, Pitstop.
33
00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:59,722
Oh, um, sorry?
34
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:00,923
Yes, you should be.
35
00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:03,558
(HISSING)
36
00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:05,658
If only there was
a possible place
37
00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:08,427
where people are
as perceptive as I.
38
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:12,266
Oh! Why must a man
of my obvious talents
39
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:15,803
be forced to live in such
a woeful world?
40
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,513
(SCREAMS)
41
00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:19,942
What are you doing here,
you, gratuitous gosling?
42
00:02:20,008 --> 00:02:23,748
Allow me to present
the extreme Breakfast Combinator 9000.
43
00:02:23,778 --> 00:02:27,278
It makes the perfect breakfast
with a push of a button.
44
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,078
As long as your idea of
a perfect breakfast
45
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:30,946
is runny eggs
and squirrel burgers.
46
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:32,348
How very uninteresting.
47
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:34,360
Please feel free to never
speak to me again.
48
00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:36,092
It has just one minor flaw.
49
00:02:36,158 --> 00:02:39,128
It seems to open
a portal to infinite alternate realities.
50
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,933
Each more bizarre
than the last.
51
00:02:40,996 --> 00:02:44,426
What could be more bizarre
than this poorly written nightmare?
52
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,595
Why, they might be anything...
53
00:02:46,669 --> 00:02:50,299
For instance, just imagine
a world where everyone is an alternate version of Muttley.
54
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:51,711
(SNICKERING)
55
00:02:51,773 --> 00:02:53,713
(GROANS) That's just
not right.
56
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,984
I.Q.:Or like Peter.
57
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:57,176
Uh, that's just sick!
58
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,308
I.Q.:Or like you.
59
00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:00,709
Just like... Me?
60
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,681
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
61
00:03:02,784 --> 00:03:05,854
And you say, that you're
delightful device
62
00:03:05,954 --> 00:03:09,394
opens these dimensional doors
while making breakfast.
63
00:03:09,458 --> 00:03:13,958
(CHUCKLES) You know,
I suddenly got a yen for squirrel frittata.
64
00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:17,328
(BEEPS)
65
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,371
So sorry my gullible genius
66
00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:23,797
but I have to say ta-ta.
67
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,644
(BEEPS)
68
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,640
(HISSING)
69
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,384
(GRUNTS)
70
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,807
(SCREAMING)
71
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,082
(GROANS)
72
00:03:33,148 --> 00:03:38,148
I.Q., your improbable
invention is incipiently inoperative.
73
00:03:38,553 --> 00:03:41,663
How dare you interrupt
my worthwhile work
74
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:46,329
with your banal babble,
you whimpering windbag?
75
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:48,027
Well, I'll be.
76
00:03:48,096 --> 00:03:50,396
The puny prodigious product
produced prodigiously after all.
77
00:03:50,499 --> 00:03:55,269
MAN: (ON SPEAKER)Attention! All racers report rapidly for the next race,
78
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:57,566
you spoilt slatish slackers.
79
00:03:57,672 --> 00:04:00,672
A race!
I don't want to miss this.
80
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:03,214
(HISSING)
81
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:04,880
(SQUAWKS)
82
00:04:04,946 --> 00:04:07,846
Entertain us, you
loathsome louts.
83
00:04:07,882 --> 00:04:12,052
Cease code breaking
and resume racing, you sluggish sloths.
84
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:16,260
We wish to be distracted
from our empty lives and pointless consumerism.
85
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:19,087
(CHUCKLES)
The audacious attitudes.
86
00:04:19,194 --> 00:04:22,734
The belligerent behavior,
the alliterative allegory.
87
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,566
I like it here!
88
00:04:24,633 --> 00:04:28,703
I'm never going back
to that horrible humdrum habitat of hackney half-wits.
89
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,635
(ALL CLAMORING)
90
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,504
(SNICKERING)
91
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:39,714
Rabbly racers, rouse
yourselves and get ready to roll.
92
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:40,880
Go!
93
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:43,614
(TIRES SCREECHING)
94
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,320
(CHEERING)
95
00:04:54,062 --> 00:04:56,232
Say, "Fermented
milk solids," Dicky.
96
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:58,233
Wha...
97
00:04:58,265 --> 00:04:59,765
You can't use that.
It's cheating.
98
00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:02,574
Don't let that punisher's
perfect perturb you, Dicky.
99
00:05:02,637 --> 00:05:05,137
Am sure you'll get a blast
out of this.
100
00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:06,769
(SCREAMS) What are you doing?
101
00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:09,281
Muttley, help me find it,
before it...
102
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:13,513
(SCREAMING)
Well played, Pitstop.
103
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,324
Have a nice trip, old bean.
104
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,846
-Thanks for the help.
-Nah.
105
00:05:17,919 --> 00:05:21,589
Car, engage the minimum
pre-program cheat mode.
106
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:26,622
CAR:Engaging minimal pre-program cheats.
107
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,957
What does your car do?
108
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:34,133
-(BEEPS)
-(WHIRS)
109
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:37,444
CAR:Wow, that is just sad.
110
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:40,588
(DASTARDLY SCREAMING)
111
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:52,448
Ah-ha, what is wrong
with you people? (SCREAMS)
112
00:05:52,454 --> 00:05:55,964
Muttley, activate the
aero-dynamical airfoil accoutrements.
113
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,359
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)
114
00:05:57,459 --> 00:05:59,629
-Oh, never mind,
I'll do it myself. -(DEVICE BEEPS)
115
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:02,860
Drat! Muttley!
This is all your fault.
116
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:06,733
(SCREAMS)
117
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,204
Don't mean to box
you in Dicky.
118
00:06:08,303 --> 00:06:11,003
But my brother and I need
to lock up this race.
119
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,511
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)
120
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,643
DASTARDLY:No!
121
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:16,524
(DASTARDLY YELPING)
122
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:24,380
(SHRIEKS) Hot! Hot!
Hot! Hot! Hot!
123
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,169
(DASTARDLY SCREAMING)
124
00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:37,227
-You were a lot of help.
-Nah.
125
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:42,552
(BEEPS)
126
00:06:46,709 --> 00:06:51,249
Another tedious tie
for our tempestuous team of time wasting toons.
127
00:06:51,346 --> 00:06:53,606
I thought it was impossible
to find bigger buffoons
128
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,381
than the ones I left behind.
129
00:06:55,450 --> 00:06:59,220
If you put half the effort
into racing that you do cheating,
130
00:06:59,287 --> 00:07:04,287
you would occasionally win
races instead of constantly getting in your own way.
131
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,700
Where am I?
132
00:07:11,733 --> 00:07:13,703
You are in the epiphany room.
133
00:07:13,736 --> 00:07:18,406
Apparently, you are having
some sort of great life changing epiphany, yes?
134
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,382
-The epiphany room?
-Yeah.
135
00:07:20,442 --> 00:07:24,382
It is the place deep inside
your psyche where you can clearly perceive
136
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:25,745
all aspects of yourself.
137
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:28,553
-And you are?
-I am your intellect.
138
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,546
Nice to meet you.
139
00:07:30,586 --> 00:07:33,586
What's that tiny thing with
the suckers oozing a slime trail behind it?
140
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,464
INTELLECT:Your self-confidence.
141
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,726
(GASPS) What was that?
142
00:07:37,792 --> 00:07:39,562
That was your arrogance.
143
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:41,597
So, what brings you here
to psyche town?
144
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:44,472
-I don't recall.
-Not a problem.
145
00:07:44,566 --> 00:07:48,836
Memory, will Memory please
report to the epiphany room stat.
146
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,772
You called?
147
00:07:50,839 --> 00:07:54,079
Yeah, we would like to hear
the last thing our external persona here verbalized.
148
00:07:54,109 --> 00:07:57,609
Yeah, sure. No problem.
Who's this guy here, then?
149
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,248
I'm Dick Dastardly.
150
00:07:59,281 --> 00:08:02,081
Oh, brother. Could we have
the recollection now, please?
151
00:08:02,116 --> 00:08:03,246
What recollection?
152
00:08:03,284 --> 00:08:05,354
The one he just asked for.
153
00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:08,259
Sheesh, you could have
just asked.
154
00:08:08,323 --> 00:08:11,933
If you put half the effort into racing that you do cheating,
155
00:08:11,961 --> 00:08:16,961
you would occasionally win races instead of constantly getting in your own way.
156
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,838
(CHUCKLES) Very interesting.
157
00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:23,335
I don't see how that statement
would cause any epiphanies.
158
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:24,767
Oh, don't you?
159
00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:27,039
Efforts spent
in unproductive activities,
160
00:08:27,108 --> 00:08:29,038
multiplied by constant frustrations,
161
00:08:29,110 --> 00:08:32,380
divided by self-denial, over the square root of envy self-loathing
162
00:08:32,446 --> 00:08:34,716
leads to every frustration,
163
00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:37,652
failure or setback
has been solely
164
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:40,548
or completely Muttley's fault.
165
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:41,891
(SNICKERING)
166
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:44,026
Of course, I should have...
167
00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:46,125
No, wait a minute.
I already knew that.
168
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,533
Nice guy, that was.
169
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:51,368
-Who is he?
-(GROANS)
170
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,295
Whoa! You really drifted off.
171
00:08:53,334 --> 00:08:54,744
Where you having an epiphany?
172
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:56,672
Oh, I ate those.
They get caught in my teeth.
173
00:08:56,738 --> 00:08:59,738
Hey, who feels like some
racing and pointless self-defeating cheating?
174
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:03,347
Tiny do, you bodacious
blockhead.
175
00:09:03,411 --> 00:09:08,411
Oh, no.
I've had enough of you ridiculous reprobates.
176
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,990
-Ooh!
-MAN: Are you okay, Dastardly?
177
00:09:12,053 --> 00:09:14,223
-What?
-Can we help you, Dastardly?
178
00:09:14,322 --> 00:09:17,322
Your care is our greatest
concern, Dastardly.
179
00:09:17,358 --> 00:09:18,658
Let me help you to your feet.
180
00:09:18,693 --> 00:09:20,833
No, no, no. Let me help you.
181
00:09:20,862 --> 00:09:23,332
No, no, no, no, no.
It should be you.
182
00:09:23,364 --> 00:09:25,604
You are the better Dastardly.
183
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:29,837
Stop it! Stop being nice
and saying Dastardly far too often.
184
00:09:29,904 --> 00:09:31,444
Oh, we are sorry, Dastardly.
185
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:33,565
Being nice is just our way.
186
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:36,214
Group hug, Dastardlies.
187
00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:36,660
No!
188
00:09:41,382 --> 00:09:42,882
(EVIL LAUGH)
189
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,020
Welcome to my frightmare.
190
00:09:45,086 --> 00:09:48,586
This revolting refuge
is even worse than the last one.
191
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:51,629
(SCREAMS)
192
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:54,755
Tiny welcomes you
to his home, brother.
193
00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:58,202
No, no, no. Even worse.
194
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,198
Um, what?
195
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,696
(SPEAKING JAPANESE)
196
00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:03,398
(CHUCKLES)
197
00:10:03,404 --> 00:10:06,044
No, thank you.
198
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:06,969
(GROWLING)
199
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,150
Next.
200
00:10:10,145 --> 00:10:13,145
-ALL: Na, na, na.
-No, no, no.
201
00:10:13,147 --> 00:10:15,747
Absolutely not!
202
00:10:15,817 --> 00:10:17,547
Mr. Dastardly,
you made it back.
203
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,118
Peter, I owe you a dollar.
204
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:22,669
I.Q., is it really you?
205
00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,786
-Oh, it is you.
-(CAT MEOWS)
206
00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:28,834
ALL: Yeah! Dastardly is back.
207
00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:31,826
Get your hands off me,
you maudlin mollycoddlers.
208
00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,399
Where did you go?
209
00:10:33,468 --> 00:10:36,668
To nightmarish worlds that
taught me a terrible lesson.
210
00:10:36,738 --> 00:10:41,238
As awful as it is being stuck
with you simpering simpletons,
211
00:10:41,309 --> 00:10:43,409
it could be worse, I suppose.
212
00:10:43,459 --> 00:10:48,009
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