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1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:04,418
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,086
(SNICKERING)
3
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:28,603
Hey, hey, race fans.
This is Brick Crashman,
4
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,632
and we're here at
the very first
5
00:00:30,699 --> 00:00:34,539
running of the
"If You Can't Stand The Heat, Stay Out Of The Desert Derby."
6
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,341
The hottest race in town.
7
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:37,873
-(SIZZLES)
-(GROANS)
8
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:40,368
And heating up the track today
are Penelope Pitstop,
9
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,410
Peter Perfect,
10
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,375
Dick Dastardly, I.Q. Ickly,
11
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:44,713
and bringing up the rear...
12
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,318
The Gruesome Twosome.
13
00:00:47,382 --> 00:00:50,652
I do declare,
it's hotter than jalapeno gator nuggets in a deep fryer
14
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,688
at a firefighters'
Fourth of July picnic!
15
00:00:52,754 --> 00:00:56,764
Lucky for me,
my body temperature is always a perfect 98.2.
16
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:58,764
I'll give them all
the cold shoulder soon enough.
17
00:00:58,827 --> 00:01:03,127
In mere miles,
we will unleash another of my blistering booby traps.
18
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:05,166
(PANTING)
19
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:07,442
(DASTARDLY CACKLES)
20
00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:10,802
Car, calculate estimated
time of arrival at the finish line.
21
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:13,741
Did you say, "Invest in cheese at dinnertime"?
22
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,077
-No.
-(THUDS)
23
00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:17,042
"Buy an old cowpoke's fishing line"?
24
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:18,210
No...
25
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:19,378
"Learn to mime"?
26
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,717
I hope not, because mime really creeps me out.
27
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:23,952
(MUTTERS) Forget it.
I'll do it myself.
28
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:27,358
-Activate my latest
and greatest invention.-Hurtful.
29
00:01:27,422 --> 00:01:30,632
The Space Time Unlimited
Peregrination Interval Device.
30
00:01:30,692 --> 00:01:32,892
CAR: It's a time machine that makes you go places faster.
31
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,060
I already knew that.
32
00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:38,100
I know, but the network likes
to get the techy exposition out of the way up front.
33
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,965
Now, let's see.
Set acceleration coefficient!
34
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:42,565
2 hours and 20 minutes.
35
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:43,796
-Engage!
-(ALARMS BLARING)
36
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:48,641
(PORTAL CRACKLING)
37
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:52,479
(I.Q. WHIMPERING)
38
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:53,706
I think I'm getting time-sick.
39
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,381
Oh, please. Not again.
40
00:01:55,449 --> 00:02:00,389
(I.Q. EXCLAIMING)
41
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,124
(I.Q. SCREAMING)
42
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:03,589
-(ALARMS BLARING)
-We're falling!
43
00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:07,628
CAR: I'm going to engage emergency anti-gravs.
44
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:11,204
Hey, check out that city.
45
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,995
How far into the future did you say we are?
46
00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:17,398
-Two hours?-I think we've gone farther than that.
47
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,441
Uh-oh.
48
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:22,977
Citizen! The Science Police
are in route to assist you.
49
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,953
Please remain where you are.
50
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:27,712
"Science Police"?
That doesn't sound so bad.
51
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:32,391
(GOBBLING)
52
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:37,453
-I.Q.: Why don't my inventions
ever work right? -CAR: Hurtful.
53
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,362
-Huh?
-Greetings, citizen!
54
00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:43,898
Welcome to
the Grand Hall of Science.
55
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:45,634
How may we be of service?
56
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,099
Huh?
57
00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:49,568
For it is in serving others
we find perfection.
58
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,206
-(LIGHTS ACTIVATING)
-What?
59
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:54,642
Merely ask,
and all that we can do for you will be done.
60
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:57,008
Helping good.
61
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,647
Wow, you guys must be
future versions of my friends
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00:02:59,714 --> 00:03:02,824
from a time
when all greed and evil has been conquered by science
63
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,953
and the world
is complete paradise.
64
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:07,019
-Good guess!
-But, honored citizen...
65
00:03:07,088 --> 00:03:10,788
-Why are you driving around in
that old-fashioned junk heap?-Hurtful.
66
00:03:10,859 --> 00:03:14,199
We accidentally
travelled here through time from the distant past.
67
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:16,231
But we'll just go back
and finish the race.
68
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,597
-A race?
-Oh, no, we can't allow that.
69
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,666
Our great leader has taught us
that competiveness--
70
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,365
And vanity.
71
00:03:23,438 --> 00:03:25,808
Were the source
of all the past's problems and strife.
72
00:03:25,874 --> 00:03:29,084
That's ridiculous!
Who is this great leader anyway?
73
00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:34,143
Behold our most
honored leader, and president for life.
74
00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,191
(SNICKERING)
75
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:42,664
You must stay with us
and be re-educated.
76
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,693
Car, let's get out of here.
77
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:49,359
-Seize them!
-(GOBBLING)
78
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:57,001
(CRASHING)
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00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,041
Hurry! We must save
the primitive one
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00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,376
before that broken-down
jalopy falls apart!
81
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,512
-I hate the future. -Hold on, Car.
82
00:04:03,578 --> 00:04:07,548
I'm reversing the Space Time
Unlimited Peregrination Interval Device.
83
00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:09,824
(PORTAL WHIRRING)
84
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,793
(ZAPPING AND BOOMING)
85
00:04:11,853 --> 00:04:14,523
-What's that?
-I believe it's a chrono-displacement wave.
86
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,288
-That what Tiny thought.
-Gosh.
87
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:21,108
-(ZAPPING)
-(ALL GASPING)
88
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:31,009
Okay! Everything's fine.
We're back at the exact time,
89
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,811
and I haven't
destroyed causality.
90
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,643
No one will even know
we were gone.
91
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:37,349
I think we brought back some temporal anomalies from the future.
92
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:41,021
Um, maybe they're just
temporary temporal anomalies?
93
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:44,421
I.Q.: Admit nothing.
94
00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:47,315
You are driving well above
the posted speed limit, young lady.
95
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:51,088
-(SCREAMS)
-And you don't have on nearly enough seatbelts.
96
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,858
Who are you?
Standards and Practices?
97
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,426
Eyes on the road!
I'm you from the future.
98
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,026
Older, wiser,
and far more sensible.
99
00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:02,038
More of a scaredy-cat,
it seems.
100
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,002
Hey, past me, looking good.
101
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,841
Future me, looking good-er.
102
00:05:05,907 --> 00:05:08,477
Gosh, things must really have
worked out for me in the future.
103
00:05:08,543 --> 00:05:12,053
Oh, yes.
We've discovered inner peace, and the value of inner beauty.
104
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,482
-(BOUNCING)
-(EXCLAIMING)
105
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:18,487
Wait...
106
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,922
We're bald? (SCREAMS)
107
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:23,658
Not good-er,
not good-er at all!
108
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,994
Tiny love past Tiny.
109
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:27,160
-(CRUNCHING)
-Hmm.
110
00:05:27,228 --> 00:05:28,928
I see you have
not changed a bit, Tiny.
111
00:05:28,997 --> 00:05:31,827
-Ah, but what has become
of my future self? -(ENERGY CRACKLING)
112
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,699
(EXCLAIMING)
113
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,437
Oh, no...
114
00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,543
-(MUTTERING)
-BELLA: I have gone batty in my old age.
115
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,944
Must catch batty Bella.
116
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,937
BOTH: Come back, Bella!
117
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,010
Once those retrograde racers
are in view,
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00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,980
we'll let loose
a tirade of thorns to trash their tires, and--
119
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,279
-(ZAPPING)
-(GASPS)
120
00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:53,291
When a cheater cheats,
he only cheats himself.
121
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:55,194
-What are you?
-I am you
122
00:05:55,256 --> 00:05:57,426
after the seed
of good sportsmanship
123
00:05:57,491 --> 00:06:00,691
has blossomed
in the compost heap of your heart.
124
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,301
-(SWATS)
-If you're me,
125
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,973
well then you'd know
there's nothing that could make me ever
126
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:08,102
become a simpering
simpleton like you.
127
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,398
Oh, I don't know.
128
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,840
You may get the point in the end.
129
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,235
-(SCREAMING)
-(JABBING)
130
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,337
-(SNICKERING)
-Like that.
131
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:18,479
(SCREAMS) I'm bald!
There's no point in going on.
132
00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:20,346
Peter, calm down.
Don't you see?
133
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,454
It's inner beauty
that matters.
134
00:06:22,517 --> 00:06:25,187
Inner beauty is great,
as long as it's on the outside where everyone can see it.
135
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:29,062
Stop being bald, future me!
136
00:06:29,123 --> 00:06:33,033
-Rugs?
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
137
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,333
-Put this on.
-I don't want to.
138
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,995
-Yes, I do.
-We don't need the toupee.
139
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,333
-Put it on.
-No!
140
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:39,398
-(SWERVING)
-(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
141
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,197
FUTURE PETER: I don't need it!
142
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,998
(FUTURE BELLA EXCLAIMING)
143
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,211
BOTH TINYS:
Must catch batty Bella.
144
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:49,713
BELLA: Could we please
stop calling me that?
145
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:53,876
(DASTARDLY WHIMPERING)
146
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,217
(SNICKERING)
147
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:56,852
You did this to me.
148
00:06:56,918 --> 00:06:59,748
We always have been
the cause of our own trouble.
149
00:06:59,821 --> 00:07:04,361
Discard those
dastardly devices, and you'll deservedly win.
150
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:08,055
Right. And I suppose Muttley
is elected president, too?
151
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,858
-(ZAPPLING)
-Hmm?
152
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,030
-(GRUMBLING HAPPILY)
-Drat.
153
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:14,898
(EXCLAIMING)
154
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,868
Not batty Bella.
155
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,807
Double drat.
156
00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:22,343
And always eat extra broccoli,
floss 8 to 12 times a day,
157
00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:24,380
never drive over
26 miles per hour.
158
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:26,445
26? How do you win races?
159
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:28,754
(LAUGHING) Oh,
I gave up racing years ago.
160
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,045
The future sounds boring.
161
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,647
It's not boring, it's just...
162
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:32,918
Less exciting, is all.
163
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,686
But don't you miss racing?
164
00:07:34,756 --> 00:07:37,256
Certainly not.
It was dangerous, and immature, and, and...
165
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:39,164
-Fun?
-Yes. No!
166
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,756
I saw the error of my ways.
167
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,528
You'll be better off
once you give racing up and settle down.
168
00:07:43,598 --> 00:07:46,228
-Uh-huh.
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
169
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,070
Hurry up,
you blundering blockhead.
170
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,865
They'll be passing under
at any moment.
171
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,967
(GRUMBLING)
172
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:54,209
Another subtle subterfuge.
173
00:07:54,276 --> 00:07:57,776
Have you ever thought that if
you could get this far ahead to enact your silly schemes
174
00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:02,845
you could actually
just keep going and win the race?
175
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,948
-No.
-We're better than this.
176
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,960
We don't need to cheat.
177
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,432
Of course we don't need to!
178
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:13,692
It's fun! Don't you remember?
179
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:17,061
The radiant rush
of plotting a precarious trap?
180
00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:20,171
Devising devious deceptions?
181
00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:22,704
The maniacal manipulations...
182
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:24,539
No. No! No.
183
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,144
Cheating is bad.
184
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:29,176
Come on.
Just one little tug.
185
00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:33,853
-You know you want to.
-(MURMURING)
186
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:34,924
-(LAUGHS)
-(SMASHING)
187
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,922
(GROWLING)
188
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,985
(CACKLES) Oh!
189
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,093
Being good
wasn't any fun anyway!
190
00:08:42,156 --> 00:08:44,986
(ZAPPING)
191
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,658
(GRUMBLING)
192
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,757
Here they come. Pull!
193
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:54,400
-(ALL GRUNTING)
-(RUMBLING)
194
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,298
-(ALL SHOUTING)
-(CRASHING)
195
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:59,140
BOTH: Muttley,
this is all your fault!
196
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:03,606
-Look out!
-I'm on it.
197
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:04,747
I've got this.
198
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:06,552
Put on the toupee
before anyone sees me.
199
00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,324
There's more to life
than good hair.
200
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,082
-(GRUNTS)
-That's just crazy talk.
201
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,620
(GRUNTS)
202
00:09:11,686 --> 00:09:15,586
-Come back. Tiny loves you.
-(CRASHING)
203
00:09:15,657 --> 00:09:18,487
CAR: Have you figured out how to send the future versions back yet?
204
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:22,159
I'm working on it. (GASPS)
205
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,599
(EXCLAIMING)
206
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,625
-We're doing it!
-Why did I ever stop doing this?
207
00:09:26,701 --> 00:09:29,301
-You don't have to.
-(ZAPPING)
208
00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:31,710
BOTH: Awesome, let's roll.
209
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:34,712
You're letting them win,
you whing whippersnapper.
210
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:38,305
Me? This is all your fault,
you gibbering geriatric.
211
00:09:38,379 --> 00:09:40,109
(BOTH SNICKERING)
212
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,620
I will not wear this.
213
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,722
Fine. Then I'll wear it now,
and never take it off.
214
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:46,054
-Then future me
will still be wearing it. -(ZAPPING)
215
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,989
-It worked! I have hair.
-(ZAPPING)
216
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:49,285
And a big belly.
217
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:52,226
Don't they have
sit-ups in the future?
218
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,092
(EXCLAIMING)
219
00:10:00,401 --> 00:10:02,471
PENELOPE:
That's the finish line!
220
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:03,836
What's that up ahead?
221
00:10:03,905 --> 00:10:05,565
BRICK: And in an amazing turn of events,
222
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:10,480
an armadillo wins the race.
223
00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:14,014
I got it! Reactivating
the time circuits now.
224
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,681
(ZAPPING)
225
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:16,719
(ZAPPING)
226
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,324
I sure am
gonna miss that old gal.
227
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:19,915
-(EXCLAIMING)
-(ZAPPING)
228
00:10:19,988 --> 00:10:22,458
Good to know
you're always there for me.
229
00:10:22,523 --> 00:10:25,133
-Even when I've gone batty.
-(MURMURING HAPPILY)
230
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:26,432
-(CRUNCHING)
-Enough. Enough.
231
00:10:26,494 --> 00:10:28,664
I would have won
if it weren't for you!
232
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:32,399
Me? You've always caused
all my problems.
233
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:33,996
-(ZAPPING)
-Hmm.
234
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,097
Too bad. I rather liked him.
235
00:10:36,171 --> 00:10:38,671
I don't understand.
Where did the future us's all go?
236
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,779
I sent them back to the future
where they belong.
237
00:10:40,842 --> 00:10:43,352
I just hope meeting us
didn't alter the timeline.
238
00:10:43,411 --> 00:10:48,411
Don't be silly. How could
spending a little time with us change the future?
239
00:10:49,517 --> 00:10:52,387
(ENGINES ROARING)
240
00:10:52,453 --> 00:10:55,593
(LASERS FIRING)
241
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:59,086
-Drat.
-(CHOMPS)
242
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,289
(GOBBLING)
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